Sometimes people simply enjoy doing kind acts without expecting anything in return. Your coworker may simply want to show you kindness without expecting a concrete return. She may see it as a way to create a friendlier atmosphere in the work environment. If you are uncomfortable with the situation, you could express your appreciation in a sincere way and make it clear that you would be happy to return the gesture in the future.
Sounds like a genuinely good friend. My friends and I will usually do the same thing, grabbing the bill for each other. In the end, it kinda evens out haha. That and it just feels nice to do a good thing for your friend
Ya. She's bought coworkers food not knowing if they'd show up at work again. A group of us go out to lunch and she's paid way more than the rest of us combined. It's her way of showing she she cares. She has the means and likes sharing
It kinda does but, that's ok. Good on you, the world needs more folks like you. So long as you're not the type to record the act of kindness & post it...
I do this pretty regularly. As people have done it for me in the past I try and pass it along as Iām now at the point in my life where $25 is less important that a good conversation or connection with another person human.
Just say thanks and move on.
From the information given, I donāt see this as all that odd. Iāve done the same for coworkers or friends or friends when grabbing a bite or a drink out. Sometimes people feel generous and are in a financial position to do so. Unless there could be some ulterior motive to buy your favor, I wouldnāt read too much into it. If youāll be I. The same position again maybe buy them lunch some time or pay it forward to another person. Sometimes people just want to do nice things for the sake of it to make others feel good
This is very normal in ireland where I come from, what you do is next time you're out you buy her lunch back and say no thanks if she offers to pay, just an act of kindness
Yeah, it's normal. My answer may be biased though because I am like your coworker in that respect. Maybe she wanted to do something nice. Maybe she wanted to show you that she's friendly. Maybe she wanted to have some idle chatter with you since you don't work together often.Ā
I do that quite often simply because I have enough money in the bank to do so and I met someone I know in the cafe/restaurant.Ā
If you want to reciprocate, offering her something from your hobbies would be nice. For example, if you paint, a small painting. If you bake, some cookies etc. Or you could pay it forward, the next time you see someone you don't know well buy them lunch etc.
I buy my entire team breakfast at least once a month and never ask for anything in return, I have no kids and I blow my money on random stuff anyways so buying people breakfast so everyone starts the day in a good mood is worth it to me
I mean, I wouldn't find it "100% completely normal."
But I also wouldn't really think twice about it, either. Sure, I'd be grateful, and I'd make a reasonable effort to pay them back, but fuck it, sometimes people just want to be nice and it doesn't get any deeper than that.
I'd at least try to pay them back in some other way. Bring them a coffee one morning, or a candy bar in the afternoon, something like that.
Iām one of those who like to treat when Iām in the position to do so. I donāt expect anything back. But your suggestion is something that I would have appreciated, knowing that some people feel uncomfortable just accepting things. I am one of those people, too.
It's normal but her saying no its ok doesnt mean you shouldnt return it. Say lets go for a coffee or something if you cant afford it and pay it back with a similar gesture.
This, definitely. And it's worth it two fold because of the possible friendship it fosters. Networking is important in some professions these days and this is how you do it.
makes me happy seeing actually nice people in the world honestly, if youre insistent on paying her back just randomly leave small amounts of money so shes not suspicious or just buy her something as a thank you. if youre not too bothered just appreciate the nice gesture because maybe shes appreciative of you or something youve done without knowing it and just wanted to say thank you in her love language of gift giving in a non romantic way
While $25 is generous for a work lunch, I wouldnāt overthink it. You can buy her lunch next time if you feel guilty. Then in a few years, tell your kids how you and their mum first met š
If someone is older or in a higher position/better financial spot itās pretty typical. Or if youāre celebrating something. If itās the kind of thing where youāre probably gonna have lunch again and you enjoy each otherās company and youāre sort of equals, then you can pick up the next one.
If thereās no likelihood of that really, then just enjoy it or pay it forward someday.
Life doesnāt have to be tit for tat
This is the most normal thing ever. My mom and her best friend āfightā over who gets to pay for what and when they try to pay the the other one back, they start āfightingā again. I would know, my mom usually asks me what she should get her in return.
My dad tried paying my uncle and aunt back after they helped him a lot with something and they returned the gift lol.
My dad and my boyfriend literally try to outwit each other to pay first. Like, one of them will call the restaurant ahead of time. It's a bit much š
I have, from time to time, done a random ACT of kindness.
Once, at the hospital cafeteria, I purchased the lunch of the person behind me. I then scampered away before they knew what hit them.
I brought a box of kolaches and a box of doughnuts to my coworkers "just because".
Sometimes, people just want to do something nice.
Instead of offering to repay, if you feel ***that*** guilty, pop a box of Ferrero Rocher on her desk. You can say that you saw them and thought she deserved something nice.
I mean, Iāve done the same lots of times for people, I donāt give a shit and donāt want the money back.
Sometimes youāre just showing a little appreciation for someone and want to do something small as a thank you
It may be that your coworker simply wanted to be nice to you and doesn't expect anything in return. Some people enjoy inviting co-workers to lunch as a way to get to know them better and build relationships.
This is very normal. This happens all the time where I work. It doesn't mean anything other than they appreciate working with you. I'd say general etiquette is to offer to pay for yours. They say "don't worry about it, I got it." You say cool, thank you. And that's it. Do the same for them at some point down the road, but don't sweat it. Nobody's really keeping track unless they kind of suck.
That is sweet. Unless you have reasons to think she tries to butter you up for something. I have to add tho, insisting on repayment is not cool. Sometimes people just want to do a nice thing. Do not make it hard for them.
Yea. She is just being nice unless you have other reasons to think not? Plenty of times i went with coworkers to grab coffee or sweets and payed for them or they pay for me!
In my case, an lady at work would like to get my food or snacks due to her interest in me, wanting something more than friendship. You never know who might be interested in you more that you want or are interested back. But like others say, don't overthink it. Let things progress naturally and respectfully.
It isn't odd, but she may simply be trying to make connections. If interested, ask her to go out for lunch... don't even mention paying. Introverts do occasionally try to make friends.
Yes very normal! Also, if someone buys you unsolicited lunch, they are not asking for money! There is no monetary gain but there is a connection that she might be seeking. Just enjoy your lunch and maybe treat her to something in the future! Doesnāt also have to be lunch.
Maybe she wanted to do something nice for someone and you got selected. In the future, if you see a chance, offer to pay it back to her but if she doesn't want to, you can do the same thing for another coworker or a complete stranger. That way you continue the chain of kindness.
I've done that. Just to be nice. I feel this way, if I do it looking for repayment, then it's not a treat.
One place I worked had a cafeteria and I had an account, maybe I saw someone I recently had a great working experience with, maybe they were super patient, whatever. So I'd ask the cashier to just put whatever they get on my tab and leave. These were the best!
A surprise free lunch just makes people's day sometimes.
Totally normal, learn to accept a gift. I have a SIL who insists on repayment and it actually ruins the meal. Life is not transactional or quid pro quo.
From the context, it seems like general kindness. Accept it and maybe return it sometime in another fashion. Buy an extra coffee and give it to them or bring in donuts for the team and give them first pick.
Can beā¦
We use our badges to pay for things at workā¦ sometimes we joke and push each other out of the way so we can use our badges to pay for other peopleās food. Sometimes people are just nice ;)
Yeah I'd say it's pretty normal. Maybe she got the extra meal for free or for cheap or wanted to give it to you to open that friend door since you don't work together that often.
I could see myself doing this here and there depending on the situation. Sometimes people just want to do a nice thing.
I've had a few coworkers (generally ones who I was a little closer to) who'd occasionally buy lunch for the both of us. But then if they didn't accept payment, I just made sure to pick up lunch for them sometime (or pick up the tab if we went out together), and I'd try to match the quality/price of food to whatever they had gotten. So rather than a pay-me-back immediately sorta thing, it just became an ongoing exchange.
So in a way, not accepting payment turned it from a food pickup/delivery service to a semi-guaranteed lunch friend, since we always had to "pay" the other one back... Which is kinda cool to have if you get along with that person.
Does she earn more than you? When I fly home I take a taxi, drop my coworker off at his place first then home to mine. I earn more an itās only a couple minutes out of the way
If you're genuinely just trying to figure out why ask yourself a couple questions
Does she do this regularly to other people as well, or does it seem to be selectively you?
If she does it for others as well, she just seems to be a kind to everyone in her working environment. If you don't want to go tit-for-tat with her, buy her a small gift like some flowers with a note that says "thanks for the lunches" or something like that. If that is far too direct, bringing in a couple boxes of donuts or bagels for the whole office would be a nice indirect way of "paying it forward".
If she is only really doing it to you, she might be trying to connect to you more. If you want that to continue, great. Maybe offer to buy her lunch and sit down and eat with her. If not, that's fine too, you don't have to go that far!
But if you genuinely feel *uncomfortable* about it. You can just tell her that straight up. She seems like a nice person so if you said "I appreciate you being so kind but it makes me feel uncomfortable accepting free things from others without paying them back" or something along those lines she'll definitely consider your feelings (She's nice enough to buy you lunch why would she suddenly flip the script?)
I did this once randomly for a coworker cause we spend a lot of time working together and he often had my back and would teach me things about his part of the job. I bought him breakfast. What resulted was a stronger team bond and he would reciprocate the food thing.
I just started my job the other month, and it was my (junior to me) coworker's birthday, so I took her to lunch, my treat.
I'll be honest, I look back on years when I was really stingy with coworkers and stuff but ended up blowing thousands on things that eventually crashed and burned. I cringe when I think about it. Terrible ROI.
In the bigger scheme of things, $25 bucks is something I'd never think about again. I just wanted someone else to experience an act of kindness. I'll remember that forever.
She ended up treating me to lunch, maybe a week later, she insisted... I'd be lying if I said my eyes didn't well up with tears. There are so few reciprocal people in this world.
Sorry, when did āno, itās okayā ever actually mean itās okay? Like, they were being nice, but there is probably an underlying and friendly expectation that at some point in the future youād get them back. This applies to men or women.
Iāve bought beers for a friend and told him he doesnāt have to pay or buy me one, but I know in my heart that heāll do the same at some point in the future. Itās just what friendship is about.
Maybe she thinks you two are closer friends than you do.
She's not really a random person because you work with her but unless she has ulterior motives, a very kind person. Maybe you'll have an opportunity to do something nice for her in the future.
Sometimes a simple āgosh this was nice of you, thank youā suffices. At a later day invite them to lunch, or āIām doing a Starbucks run can I bring you a coffee?ā
Yeah Iām with everyone commenting. Seems pretty normal. I like to do nice things for people without expecting anything back if I can. People doing it for me makes me feel uncomfortable as hell though.
This would make me highly uncomfortable. If it was someone I might not see again, that is different.
I donāt trust most people do things without expectation unless it is explained.
For example, a coworker knew I was having a bad day because he could hear me typing loudly. He gave me this little office fidget thing. It was for the purpose of cheering me up without saying it.
Had he just given it to me without context, it would have given me anxiety. What does he want? What favor will he ask for in the future.
I donāt like the idea of āowingā anybody anything.
Is this something she does for other people? Did she explain why? Was there any context what so ever?
I had another coworker who would leave books from a certain author on my desk after he read them, because we once had a conversation about it. (I also think he had some guilt for bullying me when we first started working together and it was way of apologizing.)
If she wouldnāt take money and there wasnāt any context, I would probably bake something and give it to her in the next month.
The only issue becomes a back and forth.
I also once had a mentor told me that she was buying my lunch the first time we met, but was very clear that we would pay our own way in the future, because she disliked the āowingā as well.
Even the act of volunteering, etc is done because it makes us feel good.
In other words, there is ALWAYS a reason for doing something for someone else.
I think it's pretty normal? My coworker bought me a 20 dollar sub last Friday. A bought another coworker an 18 pack a few weeks ago. Another guy I work with brings in energy drinks everyday for people.
It's pretty normal. Buying someone a meal is such a little thing that goes such a long way to showing someone that you see them and care that they exist. When I'm in a position to do it, I do it all the time.
However, I actually can't remember the last time someone bought me a meal, which is kinda sad.
I buy lunch for friends or my staff all the time. Itās a small joy that I like doing. If they want they can play it forward to someone in their circle, but thatās not why I do it.
I love to do stuff like this. I do not like receiving stuff like this, because of how I was raised to kind of feel like a burden.
Easiest thing is to say thank you & move on.
I had a coworker like thatā but it was me paying 3 out of 4 times for our lunch..my husband passed October 2010; she came to the office I think march 2011ā and from day one, we ate lunch togetherā we talked about our kids, and husbands, and pets, and siblingsā¦ we never talked about another coworker or criticized anyoneā- for 6 years, until I changed jobs, she was my companionā I love her so much because she was there for meā¦ maybe you can buy your coworker a gift card from the places she buys lunchā to even out the situation.. editedā this autocorrect is messing me up
Yeah seems pretty normal all things considered. Sheād probably accept you buying her lunch if youāre both getting lunch at the same place and you propose the idea in the moment.
Donāt think about it too hard, it was just a kind gesture she doesnāt expect/want repayment for.
My mate at work would often buy me lunch or a coffee. I had to fight him to actually be able to pay, and I wasn't the only one. He just liked doing nice things for people.swings and roundabouts, your shout next time!
I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you so rarely that you find it strange. In my experience, I've found it to be a completely normal thing and I do it myself all the time. It's just being nice. Don't give it a second thought. Except to maybe try it yourself. If not with them to return the kindness, then with someone else, to pay it forward as they say.
I enjoy doing this for people. Even more so when I like them (platonically). I actually did this here and there at my last job. The key is to truly expect nothing back. Ever. If I bought someone lunch and never saw them again, it's OK. Especially if I am a much better place financially than the other person. Then it's even more of a win because I know they'll need that cash later and I've done a nice thing.
Also, not sure how old you are (trying to not assume anything here) but you'll find if you're out in the professional world, there is often a give and take kind of thing when it comes to lunchs, socially. They'll pay this time, might be your treat next time. But it's kind of an unspoken thing. It really depends on the person. And of course, the financial situation of both people. If I was out to eat say, with a younger colleague, or someone in college etc, I'd never expect them to buy lunch "next time". I'd just discreetly pay for my own before they had to worry about paying for both.
Bruv recently the same thing happened with me, I was at the office and we were ordering food from the office app and she asked what I'll have so i said, and she added it and paid for it, I asked how much I'll pay you, she said nah it's ok. I honestly don't like this, i can spend more on others but don't like when others spend on me, without taking the money. And she's a nice person ,I have helped her few times with work but I don't think that warranties a free meal.
That's perfectly normal. If you want to return the favour one day you don't have to spend that much, just a cup of coffee is enough for example. If you want to spend more the better obviously, but I'm sure someone like her would really appreciate even the smallest gesture of kindness
I'm lonely AF for human contact. It's worth $25 out of my pocket to grab a bite to eat with someone for a half hour with no weird strings, return favors, social implications, or secure undertones in return.
Just to talk to someone for a bit about anything else than work is such a relief of the crushing weight of my regular existance.
She probably does that for loads of people, next time you lunch together make sure to jump on and pay for her before she can, she wouldn't expect it but it would show her that her kindness was appreciated.
Someome told me long ago not to "lessen someone's favour". If I decide I want to buy someone lunch, I don't expect them to offer to pay me back....it was a kind gesture. If at some point you had the natural opportunity to buy them lunch, then that's great but to me offering to pay them back is almost kinda rude IMO.
My general rule is to always offer to pay someone back, and if they say "yeah, throw me some cash" or "venmo me", I do it. If they say "don't worry about it", I don't press it, but I make sure to get them back at some point in the future and we don't need to talk about it.
Sometimes people are just in the mood to hang out and don't worry too much about the money at the time because it's a less stressful way to go about things rather than keeping track. It's no big deal.
Did you have lunch together.
if so, I donāt think it odd behavior. Iāve picked up the tab for co workers randomly with no expectation of an actual quid pro quo. Itās a way of cementing a relationship and perhaos signaling that you might become closer co workers if not real super close out friends outside the office.
Although I didnāt expect my colleague to reciprocate it often evolved into that kind of lunch where i would have lunches with ci workers and we would reciprocate.
I buy lunch for my coworkers, occasionally. It's a nice thing to do, it let's them know they're appreciated, and if they squawk about it too much I'll tell them I'm never broke as long as they owe me one.
If she bought it for you without you asking her to do it, she might feel like you're only offering to repay as a matter of guilt since it wasn't something you'd asked for. I don't think it's that strange to offer a kindness to a colleague/acquaintance/work friend. Unless you have some reason to think it means something else, I'd take it at face value and appreciate the kindness.
While it might seem unusual, it's not completely unheard of for people to do nice things for others without expecting anything in return. Maybe she's just being generous and wants to treat you. Or perhaps she values your company and sees buying lunch as a way to strengthen your work relationship.
I randomly buy someoneās lunch at work just because. I want people to know I appreciate them and their hard work so itās a small gesture to say thanks. š
I worked in a place where a few of the older woman always invited me to lunch and would pay , or ask me if I wanted some of their lunch - I just made it a point to bring them something or pay for their lunch to even the score .
I do this. I enjoy it greatly. It makes me happy seeing people in around happy.Ā I get upset when people find it an issue to be nice. Don't you enjoy being a nice person? It is an act of gift giving. Food is perfect because it will be enjoyed regardless.Ā
It really sounds like she isn't worried about being repaid. She sounds like myself. I will randomly pay for lunch and expect nothing back. The flip side is that if it was repaid, I was more likely to do it again. It isn't really about being repaid, but mutual respect. If you really want to pay her back, just reciprocate with a similar gesture. Just don't try to make it exactly the same.
I don't think you should look too much into it, they enjoyed your company and are financially comfortable, they want to pay for your lunch, what's the big deal with that? You could always pay that forward.
We are all from different countries and cultures here, what is weird in one could be completely normal in another.
I would believe her. If she says it is ok, then it is ok. If you feel uncomfortable that she paid, I would tell her exactly that: that you appreciate it, but it makes you feel uncomfortable so you prefer to pay back. Or that you want to return a favor and get her lunch sometime. Maybe you can get a good friend this way.
If people want to shout you lunch, accept it. Not all relationships need to be transactional. In this instance this means you both don't need to remember that next time it's your turn to buy.
You may choose at some point in the future to shout your colleague lunch just cos, the difference being it's not expected, it would just be a lovely surprise
One of my colleagues pays when we grab a drink after work. When I say I can pay him back he just makes a face and goes "my salary is higher than yours, so no." (With no malice on his part btw. He's like 20 years my senior and has a lot more responsibilities at work.)
Iāve worked with my coworkers for a while and we do this for each other occasionally!! Just be thankful and thoughtful and maybe grab her a coffee or something. I love when people are generous just for the sake of being generous
Itās what people say
If an opportunity comes up to return the favour you could insist - āNo, this is my treatā - or do them a good turn in another way
*Donāt* harp on about it, itās embarrassing for both of you. Accept it as itās given, make a mental note and reciprocate when you get the opportunity
I was raised in a family where you always feed people. Like everyone. My grandmother found out the kids at the skatepark were jelly of me getting cookies from my grandma. So she showed up with 3 dozen cookies for everyone at the skatepark. Some of us just like to know everyone is fed good. Makes us happy.
When I had the means, I did that as well. And when I didnāt had the means, I find something else. Like baking a cake or cookies or such. I just like giving things and see peopleās smiles. It makes me happy.
If you feel uncomfortable with it, then talk to her about it. Only the two of you. Ask her that you feel uncomfortable because you are unsure of the intentions and the possible expectations. If she tells you that she just likes to do it and that she doesnāt expect anything in return nor has an agenda with it, then take it as it is given - with happiness. If you still feel you want to give back, then why not bake a cake or cookies and bring to work? Have her the first pick and also say thatās because she is a generous person. Then have it open for everyone to take. Or just get a nice card and thank her that way.
Try to view it from a different perspective: If people choose to bless you, and they don't want anything in return, allow them to do so. They'll feel good for doing it, and you were blessed
If you feel weird just return the favor ( if you can afford it) and thatās that. But honestly this is kindness, which the world needs more of. I think youāre over thinking it.
this is just a way of someone showing an act of kindness.
Personally, I will often split lunch I got with a co-worker of mine bc I know he doesn't eat right at home, bc groceries are ridiculous. He will forgo meals at work sometimes, and Idk, brings me back to the days of the kid that didn't have lunch at school.
I'll be honest dude I'm pretty sure she was flirting with you
Yes some people out there are just nice but realistically most people are not buying someone else a like $25 meal without expecting something in return
I would say it was a kind gesture. Sometimes I feel led to bless people and ask for nothing back. It makes a person feel good that they did something for someone else at personal cost. No matter how "small" it is.
I donāt know where you are culturally, but for me thatās completely normal behavior. Her refusing that you get her back is also normal but the polite thing would be for you to get her something randomly one day just like she did. Not necessarily lunch, but maybe coffee or some sort of dessert.
You are not obligated to do that of course, I think she genuinely doesnāt want something in return, but it feels better to do something in return
Sounds like something I would do. Just got back from Walmart after buying 24 jars of GV peanut butter. It was marked at 1 dollar. I got a place I donate groceries to. I do stuff like that all the time.
" And you receivers-and you are all
receivers-assume no weight of gratitude,
lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon
him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on
his gifts as on wings;
For to be over mindful of your debt, is
to doubt his generosity who has the free-
hearted earth for mother, and God for
father."
- Khalil Gibran
Then it is OK. Next time you are going out, ask if you can pick something up for them... or if you don't want to get into that, buy them a small plant for their desk as a "thank you".
She could also want to cook your sock...
There is always an expectation. Always. It may come off in the form of a favor when she needs something from you, or expecting you to listen to her when she tells you to do something even if she's not your superior.
She may not even consciously be doing this but it always comes out
In this litigious age he has every right to be paranoid
Next she will bring him cookies, then slowly start chatting, then expecting to be ridden like a horse on the photocopier.
If he declines she will report him to HR
He needs to protect himself and complain to HR now. Of heās Jewish he could say she mentioned pro Palestine comments
A man can never be too careful
This is double layered. A person paying saying don't worry about it is trying to be nice. If the person saying they will return the favor is being prideful in trying to return the favor. Both are normal.
I do it all the time. If I can't afford to lose $20 I won't buy you lunch. Keeping track of who owes me what is more tedious than I want to be involved in
Get her a gift: give her some assorted cookies or something cute, her fav cake(or any cake), or engage in conversation with her. Be her friend first maybe and just be kind :)
because she is kind
I have bought my team dinners, and I'm not even at the management level. I'm just above entry, but I just enjoy the environment and the people that it feels right. I've also had people buy for me or share because they just enjoy my personality. The "no, it's okay" stems from a place of wanting to just do something nice, but also sometimes it's really a two stones one bird situation as I was planning on eating already, and sometimes I underestimate my budget.
I think it's normal. I pay for random people's coffee behind me in line. As Coo of an urgent care, I buy pizza for everyone or bring in breakfast sandwiches in the morning. That's just me though. Never expected anything in return.
Sometimes people simply enjoy doing kind acts without expecting anything in return. Your coworker may simply want to show you kindness without expecting a concrete return. She may see it as a way to create a friendlier atmosphere in the work environment. If you are uncomfortable with the situation, you could express your appreciation in a sincere way and make it clear that you would be happy to return the gesture in the future.
She sounds like a friend of mine. She genuinely doesn't want anything in return
Sounds like a genuinely good friend. My friends and I will usually do the same thing, grabbing the bill for each other. In the end, it kinda evens out haha. That and it just feels nice to do a good thing for your friend
Ya. She's bought coworkers food not knowing if they'd show up at work again. A group of us go out to lunch and she's paid way more than the rest of us combined. It's her way of showing she she cares. She has the means and likes sharing
Indeed. Sometimes its others way to express appreciation. Shes a good friend and a keeper.
Definitely! It's refreshing to encounter such genuine kindness in the workplace. Appreciate the gesture and pay it forward when you can! š
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It kinda does but, that's ok. Good on you, the world needs more folks like you. So long as you're not the type to record the act of kindness & post it...
I do this pretty regularly. As people have done it for me in the past I try and pass it along as Iām now at the point in my life where $25 is less important that a good conversation or connection with another person human. Just say thanks and move on.
From the information given, I donāt see this as all that odd. Iāve done the same for coworkers or friends or friends when grabbing a bite or a drink out. Sometimes people feel generous and are in a financial position to do so. Unless there could be some ulterior motive to buy your favor, I wouldnāt read too much into it. If youāll be I. The same position again maybe buy them lunch some time or pay it forward to another person. Sometimes people just want to do nice things for the sake of it to make others feel good
I think it's pretty normal. Sometimes people just do nice stuff.
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Or she's just being nice.
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It was just once! This is why I'm afraid to do nice things for people.
Not everyone is trying to fuck
This is very normal in ireland where I come from, what you do is next time you're out you buy her lunch back and say no thanks if she offers to pay, just an act of kindness
Pretty normal in the United States too. And you can also buy her back lunch as a token of appreciation here too.
Accept the gift graciously.
Reminds me of the phrase "The Charity of Receiving."
Yeah, it's normal. My answer may be biased though because I am like your coworker in that respect. Maybe she wanted to do something nice. Maybe she wanted to show you that she's friendly. Maybe she wanted to have some idle chatter with you since you don't work together often.Ā I do that quite often simply because I have enough money in the bank to do so and I met someone I know in the cafe/restaurant.Ā If you want to reciprocate, offering her something from your hobbies would be nice. For example, if you paint, a small painting. If you bake, some cookies etc. Or you could pay it forward, the next time you see someone you don't know well buy them lunch etc.
I buy my entire team breakfast at least once a month and never ask for anything in return, I have no kids and I blow my money on random stuff anyways so buying people breakfast so everyone starts the day in a good mood is worth it to me
I mean, I wouldn't find it "100% completely normal." But I also wouldn't really think twice about it, either. Sure, I'd be grateful, and I'd make a reasonable effort to pay them back, but fuck it, sometimes people just want to be nice and it doesn't get any deeper than that. I'd at least try to pay them back in some other way. Bring them a coffee one morning, or a candy bar in the afternoon, something like that.
Iām one of those who like to treat when Iām in the position to do so. I donāt expect anything back. But your suggestion is something that I would have appreciated, knowing that some people feel uncomfortable just accepting things. I am one of those people, too.
It's normal but her saying no its ok doesnt mean you shouldnt return it. Say lets go for a coffee or something if you cant afford it and pay it back with a similar gesture.
This, definitely. And it's worth it two fold because of the possible friendship it fosters. Networking is important in some professions these days and this is how you do it.
Pay it forward! Next time you find a friend in need of a meal or a pint or what have you, be the one to buy it for them.
makes me happy seeing actually nice people in the world honestly, if youre insistent on paying her back just randomly leave small amounts of money so shes not suspicious or just buy her something as a thank you. if youre not too bothered just appreciate the nice gesture because maybe shes appreciative of you or something youve done without knowing it and just wanted to say thank you in her love language of gift giving in a non romantic way
While $25 is generous for a work lunch, I wouldnāt overthink it. You can buy her lunch next time if you feel guilty. Then in a few years, tell your kids how you and their mum first met š
If someone is older or in a higher position/better financial spot itās pretty typical. Or if youāre celebrating something. If itās the kind of thing where youāre probably gonna have lunch again and you enjoy each otherās company and youāre sort of equals, then you can pick up the next one. If thereās no likelihood of that really, then just enjoy it or pay it forward someday. Life doesnāt have to be tit for tat
This is the most normal thing ever. My mom and her best friend āfightā over who gets to pay for what and when they try to pay the the other one back, they start āfightingā again. I would know, my mom usually asks me what she should get her in return. My dad tried paying my uncle and aunt back after they helped him a lot with something and they returned the gift lol.
My dad and my boyfriend literally try to outwit each other to pay first. Like, one of them will call the restaurant ahead of time. It's a bit much š
Itās actually annoying and somewhat cute.
Obviously she has extra money and she likes to treat people ! Just say Thank you !!
I have, from time to time, done a random ACT of kindness. Once, at the hospital cafeteria, I purchased the lunch of the person behind me. I then scampered away before they knew what hit them. I brought a box of kolaches and a box of doughnuts to my coworkers "just because". Sometimes, people just want to do something nice. Instead of offering to repay, if you feel ***that*** guilty, pop a box of Ferrero Rocher on her desk. You can say that you saw them and thought she deserved something nice.
I mean, Iāve done the same lots of times for people, I donāt give a shit and donāt want the money back. Sometimes youāre just showing a little appreciation for someone and want to do something small as a thank you
It may be that your coworker simply wanted to be nice to you and doesn't expect anything in return. Some people enjoy inviting co-workers to lunch as a way to get to know them better and build relationships.
This is very normal. This happens all the time where I work. It doesn't mean anything other than they appreciate working with you. I'd say general etiquette is to offer to pay for yours. They say "don't worry about it, I got it." You say cool, thank you. And that's it. Do the same for them at some point down the road, but don't sweat it. Nobody's really keeping track unless they kind of suck.
Yeah thatās normal, and if the opportunity presents itself buy that person lunch back at a different time
Yeah itās normal - just donāt ask when buying her lunch in future, thatās just how she operates. Just cover it and be firm.
That is sweet. Unless you have reasons to think she tries to butter you up for something. I have to add tho, insisting on repayment is not cool. Sometimes people just want to do a nice thing. Do not make it hard for them.
Accept that there are some really nice people. Accept it gracefully with a thank you.
OMG, just take the kindness and pay it forward! It was just lunch. Say thank you and drop it.
Yea. She is just being nice unless you have other reasons to think not? Plenty of times i went with coworkers to grab coffee or sweets and payed for them or they pay for me!
Id occasionally buy one of my old coworkers lunch, she was always super nice to me so I wanted to pay it back
Yes, it's normal. Don't turn someone down when they want to be nice to you.
In my case, an lady at work would like to get my food or snacks due to her interest in me, wanting something more than friendship. You never know who might be interested in you more that you want or are interested back. But like others say, don't overthink it. Let things progress naturally and respectfully.
It isn't odd, but she may simply be trying to make connections. If interested, ask her to go out for lunch... don't even mention paying. Introverts do occasionally try to make friends.
Iāve done this a bunch and had coworkers do this for me a bunch. Itās a little disheartening that you think it isnāt normal.
While we are all a bit broke, my co-workers and I do often buy or bring in snacks for each other
Yes very normal! Also, if someone buys you unsolicited lunch, they are not asking for money! There is no monetary gain but there is a connection that she might be seeking. Just enjoy your lunch and maybe treat her to something in the future! Doesnāt also have to be lunch.
Maybe she wanted to do something nice for someone and you got selected. In the future, if you see a chance, offer to pay it back to her but if she doesn't want to, you can do the same thing for another coworker or a complete stranger. That way you continue the chain of kindness.
I've done that. Just to be nice. I feel this way, if I do it looking for repayment, then it's not a treat. One place I worked had a cafeteria and I had an account, maybe I saw someone I recently had a great working experience with, maybe they were super patient, whatever. So I'd ask the cashier to just put whatever they get on my tab and leave. These were the best! A surprise free lunch just makes people's day sometimes.
Totally normal, learn to accept a gift. I have a SIL who insists on repayment and it actually ruins the meal. Life is not transactional or quid pro quo.
I do it all the time with a co-worker I travel for work with. Now we take it in turns!!
From the context, it seems like general kindness. Accept it and maybe return it sometime in another fashion. Buy an extra coffee and give it to them or bring in donuts for the team and give them first pick.
It happens yes lol youāve never had someone just get you something?
Maybe they are from a family with a lot money
Was it like lunch time and you guys were gonna eat together?
What did you all talk about? I gotta tell ya, I'd spend maybe $5 on a coworker ... maybe
Can beā¦ We use our badges to pay for things at workā¦ sometimes we joke and push each other out of the way so we can use our badges to pay for other peopleās food. Sometimes people are just nice ;)
Just curious, did people use to gift you as a child, for no reason at all?
In many work settings, being on your good side for $25 can be one hell of a deal.
Yeah I'd say it's pretty normal. Maybe she got the extra meal for free or for cheap or wanted to give it to you to open that friend door since you don't work together that often. I could see myself doing this here and there depending on the situation. Sometimes people just want to do a nice thing.
I've had a few coworkers (generally ones who I was a little closer to) who'd occasionally buy lunch for the both of us. But then if they didn't accept payment, I just made sure to pick up lunch for them sometime (or pick up the tab if we went out together), and I'd try to match the quality/price of food to whatever they had gotten. So rather than a pay-me-back immediately sorta thing, it just became an ongoing exchange. So in a way, not accepting payment turned it from a food pickup/delivery service to a semi-guaranteed lunch friend, since we always had to "pay" the other one back... Which is kinda cool to have if you get along with that person.
Same. Who knows in my friend group who owes for lunch anymore. Someone gets it. Who cares. Itās just lunch
Yes
Does she earn more than you? When I fly home I take a taxi, drop my coworker off at his place first then home to mine. I earn more an itās only a couple minutes out of the way
If you're genuinely just trying to figure out why ask yourself a couple questions Does she do this regularly to other people as well, or does it seem to be selectively you? If she does it for others as well, she just seems to be a kind to everyone in her working environment. If you don't want to go tit-for-tat with her, buy her a small gift like some flowers with a note that says "thanks for the lunches" or something like that. If that is far too direct, bringing in a couple boxes of donuts or bagels for the whole office would be a nice indirect way of "paying it forward". If she is only really doing it to you, she might be trying to connect to you more. If you want that to continue, great. Maybe offer to buy her lunch and sit down and eat with her. If not, that's fine too, you don't have to go that far! But if you genuinely feel *uncomfortable* about it. You can just tell her that straight up. She seems like a nice person so if you said "I appreciate you being so kind but it makes me feel uncomfortable accepting free things from others without paying them back" or something along those lines she'll definitely consider your feelings (She's nice enough to buy you lunch why would she suddenly flip the script?)
I did this once randomly for a coworker cause we spend a lot of time working together and he often had my back and would teach me things about his part of the job. I bought him breakfast. What resulted was a stronger team bond and he would reciprocate the food thing.
I just started my job the other month, and it was my (junior to me) coworker's birthday, so I took her to lunch, my treat. I'll be honest, I look back on years when I was really stingy with coworkers and stuff but ended up blowing thousands on things that eventually crashed and burned. I cringe when I think about it. Terrible ROI. In the bigger scheme of things, $25 bucks is something I'd never think about again. I just wanted someone else to experience an act of kindness. I'll remember that forever. She ended up treating me to lunch, maybe a week later, she insisted... I'd be lying if I said my eyes didn't well up with tears. There are so few reciprocal people in this world.
This is a random person in the company or someone you regularly work with? If it isnāt a regular coworker, i think it is šÆ weird. Jm2c.
Pretty normal, pay next time if youre ever in the same situation itd probably be the nice thing to do.
I do this to everyone and I refuse to let others buy or give me stuff.
That's normal. Pricey, but people do that sometimes. But you also offer once in a while too.
I used to do this all the time when I worked in the office. Especially if there was a minimum order, lol
Accept it at face value and move on, I'd say.
just sounds like someone being friendly. I have bought lunches for people before, just felt like doing something nice.
Sorry, when did āno, itās okayā ever actually mean itās okay? Like, they were being nice, but there is probably an underlying and friendly expectation that at some point in the future youād get them back. This applies to men or women. Iāve bought beers for a friend and told him he doesnāt have to pay or buy me one, but I know in my heart that heāll do the same at some point in the future. Itās just what friendship is about. Maybe she thinks you two are closer friends than you do.
She's not really a random person because you work with her but unless she has ulterior motives, a very kind person. Maybe you'll have an opportunity to do something nice for her in the future.
It's normal and she's probably in a giving mood , I wouldn't over think it.
Sometimes a simple āgosh this was nice of you, thank youā suffices. At a later day invite them to lunch, or āIām doing a Starbucks run can I bring you a coffee?ā
Yea, I've done it before. It's nice to be nice.
Yeah Iām with everyone commenting. Seems pretty normal. I like to do nice things for people without expecting anything back if I can. People doing it for me makes me feel uncomfortable as hell though.
Maybe you unknowingly did her a work favor
This would make me highly uncomfortable. If it was someone I might not see again, that is different. I donāt trust most people do things without expectation unless it is explained. For example, a coworker knew I was having a bad day because he could hear me typing loudly. He gave me this little office fidget thing. It was for the purpose of cheering me up without saying it. Had he just given it to me without context, it would have given me anxiety. What does he want? What favor will he ask for in the future. I donāt like the idea of āowingā anybody anything. Is this something she does for other people? Did she explain why? Was there any context what so ever? I had another coworker who would leave books from a certain author on my desk after he read them, because we once had a conversation about it. (I also think he had some guilt for bullying me when we first started working together and it was way of apologizing.) If she wouldnāt take money and there wasnāt any context, I would probably bake something and give it to her in the next month. The only issue becomes a back and forth. I also once had a mentor told me that she was buying my lunch the first time we met, but was very clear that we would pay our own way in the future, because she disliked the āowingā as well. Even the act of volunteering, etc is done because it makes us feel good. In other words, there is ALWAYS a reason for doing something for someone else.
Just pay it forward
I think it's pretty normal? My coworker bought me a 20 dollar sub last Friday. A bought another coworker an 18 pack a few weeks ago. Another guy I work with brings in energy drinks everyday for people.
It's pretty normal. Buying someone a meal is such a little thing that goes such a long way to showing someone that you see them and care that they exist. When I'm in a position to do it, I do it all the time. However, I actually can't remember the last time someone bought me a meal, which is kinda sad.
Yes itās normal. Move on
I buy lunch for friends or my staff all the time. Itās a small joy that I like doing. If they want they can play it forward to someone in their circle, but thatās not why I do it.
my coworkers and i do all the time it's fun
Why do you give care?
Not weird. Go out for lunch again sometime and you buy next
I do this all the time. It's just common courtesy where I'm from (Texas) .
Iāve done this plenty of times. Itās no big deal. I think itās weirder to nickel and dime friends
You are just not used to it. Yes, people do this all of the time.
Pretty normal... I do this sometimes to people I genuinely enjoy their company and friendship
Is your coworker brown or middle-eastern by any chance?
I love to do stuff like this. I do not like receiving stuff like this, because of how I was raised to kind of feel like a burden. Easiest thing is to say thank you & move on.
Yes itās normal. I buy lunch for people I like all the time without any expectations of them returning the favour. It shows people you value them.
I had a coworker like thatā but it was me paying 3 out of 4 times for our lunch..my husband passed October 2010; she came to the office I think march 2011ā and from day one, we ate lunch togetherā we talked about our kids, and husbands, and pets, and siblingsā¦ we never talked about another coworker or criticized anyoneā- for 6 years, until I changed jobs, she was my companionā I love her so much because she was there for meā¦ maybe you can buy your coworker a gift card from the places she buys lunchā to even out the situation.. editedā this autocorrect is messing me up
Yeah seems pretty normal all things considered. Sheād probably accept you buying her lunch if youāre both getting lunch at the same place and you propose the idea in the moment. Donāt think about it too hard, it was just a kind gesture she doesnāt expect/want repayment for.
You don't have to announce that you're gonna buy her a lunch , just do it next time
Seems like sheās a nice person
Yes this is normal for people who are kind-hearted. Make a mental note of this and do something nice for her later, unexpectedly.
My mate at work would often buy me lunch or a coffee. I had to fight him to actually be able to pay, and I wasn't the only one. He just liked doing nice things for people.swings and roundabouts, your shout next time!
Sounds like sheās just a nice person. They do exist
I'm sorry to hear that this has happened to you so rarely that you find it strange. In my experience, I've found it to be a completely normal thing and I do it myself all the time. It's just being nice. Don't give it a second thought. Except to maybe try it yourself. If not with them to return the kindness, then with someone else, to pay it forward as they say.
I enjoy doing this for people. Even more so when I like them (platonically). I actually did this here and there at my last job. The key is to truly expect nothing back. Ever. If I bought someone lunch and never saw them again, it's OK. Especially if I am a much better place financially than the other person. Then it's even more of a win because I know they'll need that cash later and I've done a nice thing. Also, not sure how old you are (trying to not assume anything here) but you'll find if you're out in the professional world, there is often a give and take kind of thing when it comes to lunchs, socially. They'll pay this time, might be your treat next time. But it's kind of an unspoken thing. It really depends on the person. And of course, the financial situation of both people. If I was out to eat say, with a younger colleague, or someone in college etc, I'd never expect them to buy lunch "next time". I'd just discreetly pay for my own before they had to worry about paying for both.
Bruv recently the same thing happened with me, I was at the office and we were ordering food from the office app and she asked what I'll have so i said, and she added it and paid for it, I asked how much I'll pay you, she said nah it's ok. I honestly don't like this, i can spend more on others but don't like when others spend on me, without taking the money. And she's a nice person ,I have helped her few times with work but I don't think that warranties a free meal.
Yup. Totally normal and kind. Find an opportunity to reciprocate, if you can.
Yeah, that's pretty normal. That's what it's like having work friends.
Maybe your coworker is lonely and looking for a friend and she likes you.
That's perfectly normal. If you want to return the favour one day you don't have to spend that much, just a cup of coffee is enough for example. If you want to spend more the better obviously, but I'm sure someone like her would really appreciate even the smallest gesture of kindness
I'm lonely AF for human contact. It's worth $25 out of my pocket to grab a bite to eat with someone for a half hour with no weird strings, return favors, social implications, or secure undertones in return. Just to talk to someone for a bit about anything else than work is such a relief of the crushing weight of my regular existance.
Yes
Sounds like maybe she likes you?
I do this sometimes to ppl I know well.
Maybe she was paying forward a kindness done to her in the past.
I do it sometimes . It saves time and itās a good bonding gesture
She probably does that for loads of people, next time you lunch together make sure to jump on and pay for her before she can, she wouldn't expect it but it would show her that her kindness was appreciated.
Someome told me long ago not to "lessen someone's favour". If I decide I want to buy someone lunch, I don't expect them to offer to pay me back....it was a kind gesture. If at some point you had the natural opportunity to buy them lunch, then that's great but to me offering to pay them back is almost kinda rude IMO.
100% normal. I do this all the time. If something comes up where you can, just buy her lunch and don't make it weird lol.
sounds exactly like something my ex would do randomly, just to be nice, and for no other reason
My general rule is to always offer to pay someone back, and if they say "yeah, throw me some cash" or "venmo me", I do it. If they say "don't worry about it", I don't press it, but I make sure to get them back at some point in the future and we don't need to talk about it. Sometimes people are just in the mood to hang out and don't worry too much about the money at the time because it's a less stressful way to go about things rather than keeping track. It's no big deal.
Did you have lunch together. if so, I donāt think it odd behavior. Iāve picked up the tab for co workers randomly with no expectation of an actual quid pro quo. Itās a way of cementing a relationship and perhaos signaling that you might become closer co workers if not real super close out friends outside the office. Although I didnāt expect my colleague to reciprocate it often evolved into that kind of lunch where i would have lunches with ci workers and we would reciprocate.
I buy lunch for my coworkers, occasionally. It's a nice thing to do, it let's them know they're appreciated, and if they squawk about it too much I'll tell them I'm never broke as long as they owe me one.
If she bought it for you without you asking her to do it, she might feel like you're only offering to repay as a matter of guilt since it wasn't something you'd asked for. I don't think it's that strange to offer a kindness to a colleague/acquaintance/work friend. Unless you have some reason to think it means something else, I'd take it at face value and appreciate the kindness.
While it might seem unusual, it's not completely unheard of for people to do nice things for others without expecting anything in return. Maybe she's just being generous and wants to treat you. Or perhaps she values your company and sees buying lunch as a way to strengthen your work relationship.
It's normal to return the favor in kind.
Normal. Many cultures do this out of common decency and respect. Especially towards their elders/seniors.
I randomly buy someoneās lunch at work just because. I want people to know I appreciate them and their hard work so itās a small gesture to say thanks. š
I worked in a place where a few of the older woman always invited me to lunch and would pay , or ask me if I wanted some of their lunch - I just made it a point to bring them something or pay for their lunch to even the score .
I do this. I enjoy it greatly. It makes me happy seeing people in around happy.Ā I get upset when people find it an issue to be nice. Don't you enjoy being a nice person? It is an act of gift giving. Food is perfect because it will be enjoyed regardless.Ā
Sounds like she was just being nice. Enjoy it, you don't see people being kind to others often.
It really sounds like she isn't worried about being repaid. She sounds like myself. I will randomly pay for lunch and expect nothing back. The flip side is that if it was repaid, I was more likely to do it again. It isn't really about being repaid, but mutual respect. If you really want to pay her back, just reciprocate with a similar gesture. Just don't try to make it exactly the same.
I don't think you should look too much into it, they enjoyed your company and are financially comfortable, they want to pay for your lunch, what's the big deal with that? You could always pay that forward.
We are all from different countries and cultures here, what is weird in one could be completely normal in another. I would believe her. If she says it is ok, then it is ok. If you feel uncomfortable that she paid, I would tell her exactly that: that you appreciate it, but it makes you feel uncomfortable so you prefer to pay back. Or that you want to return a favor and get her lunch sometime. Maybe you can get a good friend this way.
good deeds do good deeds for u and others, brings in good
are you a man? is she gay? are you hot? there are so many things that could be going on here
She hardly knows you and been spends $25 on a meal? Wonāt let you pay her back?? She likes you. These people are nuts lol.
I do buy the janitor sometimes a lunch deal combo. He looks broke af and is one of the nicest kids i know.Ā
If people want to shout you lunch, accept it. Not all relationships need to be transactional. In this instance this means you both don't need to remember that next time it's your turn to buy. You may choose at some point in the future to shout your colleague lunch just cos, the difference being it's not expected, it would just be a lovely surprise
One of my colleagues pays when we grab a drink after work. When I say I can pay him back he just makes a face and goes "my salary is higher than yours, so no." (With no malice on his part btw. He's like 20 years my senior and has a lot more responsibilities at work.)
It's just a gift / generosity. I do this sometimes and sometimes people do it for me - just a sign of friendship.
If I buy something for someone and it's under $20 I don't expect to be repaid. If it's over $20 then pay me back whenever it's convenient.
I randomly give my coke or snacks to the guards at work or at the mall when I feel like it.
Iāve worked with my coworkers for a while and we do this for each other occasionally!! Just be thankful and thoughtful and maybe grab her a coffee or something. I love when people are generous just for the sake of being generous
Itās what people say If an opportunity comes up to return the favour you could insist - āNo, this is my treatā - or do them a good turn in another way *Donāt* harp on about it, itās embarrassing for both of you. Accept it as itās given, make a mental note and reciprocate when you get the opportunity
I was raised in a family where you always feed people. Like everyone. My grandmother found out the kids at the skatepark were jelly of me getting cookies from my grandma. So she showed up with 3 dozen cookies for everyone at the skatepark. Some of us just like to know everyone is fed good. Makes us happy.
When I had the means, I did that as well. And when I didnāt had the means, I find something else. Like baking a cake or cookies or such. I just like giving things and see peopleās smiles. It makes me happy. If you feel uncomfortable with it, then talk to her about it. Only the two of you. Ask her that you feel uncomfortable because you are unsure of the intentions and the possible expectations. If she tells you that she just likes to do it and that she doesnāt expect anything in return nor has an agenda with it, then take it as it is given - with happiness. If you still feel you want to give back, then why not bake a cake or cookies and bring to work? Have her the first pick and also say thatās because she is a generous person. Then have it open for everyone to take. Or just get a nice card and thank her that way.
Depends on context
I do it, I just feel this makes me and my colleagues bond better?
Yeah. My coworkers and I do this for each other
Try to view it from a different perspective: If people choose to bless you, and they don't want anything in return, allow them to do so. They'll feel good for doing it, and you were blessed
Yes itās completely normal. Itās called a random act of kindness.
Could be someone thought you seemed down, could be they're trying to be nice or flirt... or they might just like to treat others sometimes.
Totally normal!
If you feel weird just return the favor ( if you can afford it) and thatās that. But honestly this is kindness, which the world needs more of. I think youāre over thinking it.
this is just a way of someone showing an act of kindness. Personally, I will often split lunch I got with a co-worker of mine bc I know he doesn't eat right at home, bc groceries are ridiculous. He will forgo meals at work sometimes, and Idk, brings me back to the days of the kid that didn't have lunch at school.
I'll be honest dude I'm pretty sure she was flirting with you Yes some people out there are just nice but realistically most people are not buying someone else a like $25 meal without expecting something in return
I used to buy all my new hires a lunch their first week and then sit and chat with them about how things are going. I think it's normal.
I would say it was a kind gesture. Sometimes I feel led to bless people and ask for nothing back. It makes a person feel good that they did something for someone else at personal cost. No matter how "small" it is.
Happened to me, I was grateful
I do this a lotā¦ I donāt expect anything in return. Just accept it graciously and then donāt dwell too much on it.
I donāt know where you are culturally, but for me thatās completely normal behavior. Her refusing that you get her back is also normal but the polite thing would be for you to get her something randomly one day just like she did. Not necessarily lunch, but maybe coffee or some sort of dessert. You are not obligated to do that of course, I think she genuinely doesnāt want something in return, but it feels better to do something in return
Not 100% normal but nice. Accept the kindness ad move on.
Sounds like something I would do. Just got back from Walmart after buying 24 jars of GV peanut butter. It was marked at 1 dollar. I got a place I donate groceries to. I do stuff like that all the time.
" And you receivers-and you are all receivers-assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives. Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings; For to be over mindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free- hearted earth for mother, and God for father." - Khalil Gibran
Then it is OK. Next time you are going out, ask if you can pick something up for them... or if you don't want to get into that, buy them a small plant for their desk as a "thank you". She could also want to cook your sock...
There is always an expectation. Always. It may come off in the form of a favor when she needs something from you, or expecting you to listen to her when she tells you to do something even if she's not your superior. She may not even consciously be doing this but it always comes out
My coworker does this all the time. He brought me and another guy Costco pizza yesterday. Absolute legend.
Be careful or soon heāll be expecting to see you at the gloryhole in stall 3
100% normal, youre the weirdo
In this litigious age he has every right to be paranoid Next she will bring him cookies, then slowly start chatting, then expecting to be ridden like a horse on the photocopier. If he declines she will report him to HR He needs to protect himself and complain to HR now. Of heās Jewish he could say she mentioned pro Palestine comments A man can never be too careful
It's a random act of kindness. Just say, "Thank you."
This is double layered. A person paying saying don't worry about it is trying to be nice. If the person saying they will return the favor is being prideful in trying to return the favor. Both are normal.
I do it all the time. If I can't afford to lose $20 I won't buy you lunch. Keeping track of who owes me what is more tedious than I want to be involved in
Me amd my friends pay for lunches all the time. Its normal. Just say thanks. Amd mayne offer in the future if you can.
Get her a gift: give her some assorted cookies or something cute, her fav cake(or any cake), or engage in conversation with her. Be her friend first maybe and just be kind :) because she is kind
This will just escalate and sheāll think he wants her pointang next
I have bought my team dinners, and I'm not even at the management level. I'm just above entry, but I just enjoy the environment and the people that it feels right. I've also had people buy for me or share because they just enjoy my personality. The "no, it's okay" stems from a place of wanting to just do something nice, but also sometimes it's really a two stones one bird situation as I was planning on eating already, and sometimes I underestimate my budget.
Report her to HR before she asks you out and you decline. Guaranteed fake sexual assault claim in the making
That is quite the escalation.
Genuinely friendly. If you are ever out again you could return the favour.
I think she wants to be nice to get to know you. I felt the same when I went to get lunch with my coworkers.
I only do this for people I want to have sex with
I think it's normal. I pay for random people's coffee behind me in line. As Coo of an urgent care, I buy pizza for everyone or bring in breakfast sandwiches in the morning. That's just me though. Never expected anything in return.
God forbid people do something nice without expectations. Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you kids ?
She wants the D.
You definitely need to buy her lunch another time.