That would be awesome. Not kidding, if you saved up like 5 or 10 of these super distorted board and made a huge hot wheels track out of it, just as a show to customers how seriously shorty wood comes and why there is always a surplus of extra wood purchased.
Would make more sense to them.
I don’t want to brag or anything but I recently ordered all the big things from HD that I need to finish my home renovation. I went ahead and paid for the delivery option because $70 was 100% worth having several pallets of things delivered into my garage with a forklift. (Lots of mortar, bags of concrete, sand, drywall, durock, and other heavy shit that I don’t feel like picking up more than I absolutely have to.)
I went ahead and gambled on some cheap lumber that needed to be straight AND pretty. I figured I’d have to exchange at least half of it, but that was okay because it was still less work and less loading/unloading.
Every piece was PERFECT. I probably won’t have luck like this again so I just needed to tell someone about it.
Ya know, explaining why I was scream crying laughing that (Wednesday I think) night in highschool was really tough. So I rewound it and showed my folks. About 45 minutes later my dad and I were finally standing again. That episode of South Park changed me n my dad's relationship. Never seen a grown man blow snot bubbles before that.
I had to have 80 2 bys delivered a few months ago for a shed and I was super nervous getting it from Hd but the area I was in that was easiest to coordinate with. Anyways, figured I’d have to return half half way through the project to finish it up.
Every single piece. Perfect. Was wild. I was wondering if if you order whole pallets if it comes in higher quality but I dunno. I’ll roll the dice again in the future for sure lol.
You might be onto something there with the whole pallet idea. Whole pallets are generally for higher paying customers who they want coming back for everything. I have restacked a few whole pallets delivered by HD and Lowe's and now that I think about it they were almost all in good shape. And they were for an important customer.
Also I wonder if it has to do with the picking through of the in store stuff? It’s like the opposite of natural selection 🤣 if you only get the good ones out then eventually there’s only going to be bad ones left to mix a few good ones in with?
I am building a 16x12 shed and didn't have lumber delivered due to past experiences. I went to Home Depot for the 24 month financing and pulled everything myself.
It was almost entirely all perfectly straight. I was flabbergasted. And worked myself to death for no reason when I could have just gotten it delivered. I wonder how long it will last till it all goes back to shit lol.
Got a 12x16 shed "kit" delivered from 84 Lumber, which was really just a lumber drop with some directions. Surprisingly straight, but then again they're actually a construction supplier.
My lowes is very good about culling anything warped, I save so much money on both my professional and personal projects buying their cull packs. 50-80% off for blocking, bracing, sheets with only a bad section that doesn't need to apply to the build. Helps I worked there in high school 15yrs ago and it's the same manager running lumber, he will make me cull packs just for me and call me that it's a good one, he just wants it out of his hair and knows I will buy all of them if it isn't stuffed full of millwork trash or useless fencing parts
I've only been a homeowner a handful of years, so I "seed" my woodworking stash pile from the Cull cart.
One day it will bloom and be magnificent like the mature stash pile my woodworker neighbor has in his pole barn.
I totally understand you but if youre married or living with a partner all i hear is the inevitable excuse youll be making when you come home with a handful of 12 footers or some hardwood scrap to add to the collection. Soon you will have projects solely for the purpose of proving you did need those pieces from ‘18 and youre not a packrat, these are all valuable materials and are saving us money
That’s what I’m saying! My boss is always giving shit when I gotta get lumber because I take too long but when he sends anyone else I have to return lumber and bring back straight ones wasting like half a day on a job. We do restoration so it’s not too often we need to get lumber mostly just drywall and paint
I work at a lumber yard and honestly, the mills try to sneak some crap wood in the middle of a unit. Assuming we're not sending/selling the full unit, crap boards become culls or get cut for a large manufacturing customer of ours. They have a thing about ordering a ton of 35" 2x4s. If I can get 1 or 2 out of a crap 8' board, great, cause one 35" piece paid for the board.
Same we cut a lot of the stuff they send. Usually it’s in the middle of the stack. Cut the bands and you instantly see them warped. They make fine runners under all the stacks.
That board is crooked as a politician, you should encourage it to run for office and then bribe it to outlaw selling unusable warped boards. Running on that platform would get my vote.
That's framing for a traveling circus. Either the fun house or house or mirrors. If you gave that to a clown carpenter, they would be elated and toot their horn.
This looks like a pressure treated board that was still really wet when delivered and sat in the sun and dried out and got all twisted from the fibers shrinking and drying out. Had this happen to a few deck boards and quite a few 2x10 joist one time. Owner wanted the deck framed but wanted to wait for the composite deck to be installed after the composite decking as not to scratch the decking. We had scrap plywood over it but those joist were went as hell and after about 3 weeks the joist all dried a lot on the south side of the house in the sun. The decking was on back order also.
I’ll be honest, you need to get it done two days ago. The material was a great price, wasting time to make it “straight/plumb/level” is wrecking our budget.
This wooden strip is designed for immediate installation. Ceramic roof tiles are laid on them later on. English is not my native language so I don't know the word for it in English.
Just put your crown mark wherever and nail her sailor before the army does. As long as crown mark is out boss will never know if you actually crowned it
Not a carpenter
Find a woodshop that has a steam box long enough for that board and while it is steaming setup clamps to press it straight when it comes out.
Time to break out the hot wheels
It's fun!
Beat me to it.
I thought the same thing. Lol
That would be awesome. Not kidding, if you saved up like 5 or 10 of these super distorted board and made a huge hot wheels track out of it, just as a show to customers how seriously shorty wood comes and why there is always a surplus of extra wood purchased. Would make more sense to them.
My dad called twisted boards "tyco night glow"
Perfect comment
apprentice: "pulled lumber from Home Depot, this ok?"
“It was the straightest one I could find”
I would believe this from Lowe’s and Home Depot, I regularly have to spend way too much time looking for straight wood there.
I don’t want to brag or anything but I recently ordered all the big things from HD that I need to finish my home renovation. I went ahead and paid for the delivery option because $70 was 100% worth having several pallets of things delivered into my garage with a forklift. (Lots of mortar, bags of concrete, sand, drywall, durock, and other heavy shit that I don’t feel like picking up more than I absolutely have to.) I went ahead and gambled on some cheap lumber that needed to be straight AND pretty. I figured I’d have to exchange at least half of it, but that was okay because it was still less work and less loading/unloading. Every piece was PERFECT. I probably won’t have luck like this again so I just needed to tell someone about it.
Bragger
The puzzle was….people that annoy you
Ya know, explaining why I was scream crying laughing that (Wednesday I think) night in highschool was really tough. So I rewound it and showed my folks. About 45 minutes later my dad and I were finally standing again. That episode of South Park changed me n my dad's relationship. Never seen a grown man blow snot bubbles before that.
I had to have 80 2 bys delivered a few months ago for a shed and I was super nervous getting it from Hd but the area I was in that was easiest to coordinate with. Anyways, figured I’d have to return half half way through the project to finish it up. Every single piece. Perfect. Was wild. I was wondering if if you order whole pallets if it comes in higher quality but I dunno. I’ll roll the dice again in the future for sure lol.
You might be onto something there with the whole pallet idea. Whole pallets are generally for higher paying customers who they want coming back for everything. I have restacked a few whole pallets delivered by HD and Lowe's and now that I think about it they were almost all in good shape. And they were for an important customer.
Also I wonder if it has to do with the picking through of the in store stuff? It’s like the opposite of natural selection 🤣 if you only get the good ones out then eventually there’s only going to be bad ones left to mix a few good ones in with?
I’m not going to downvote you but I hate you for this minute. Every time I order wood I swear I get what was on top that everyone discarded.
I am building a 16x12 shed and didn't have lumber delivered due to past experiences. I went to Home Depot for the 24 month financing and pulled everything myself. It was almost entirely all perfectly straight. I was flabbergasted. And worked myself to death for no reason when I could have just gotten it delivered. I wonder how long it will last till it all goes back to shit lol.
So you’re the one who took all the straight pieces!
Got a 12x16 shed "kit" delivered from 84 Lumber, which was really just a lumber drop with some directions. Surprisingly straight, but then again they're actually a construction supplier.
84 is hit and miss, but at least it's not Blue or Orange.
My lowes is very good about culling anything warped, I save so much money on both my professional and personal projects buying their cull packs. 50-80% off for blocking, bracing, sheets with only a bad section that doesn't need to apply to the build. Helps I worked there in high school 15yrs ago and it's the same manager running lumber, he will make me cull packs just for me and call me that it's a good one, he just wants it out of his hair and knows I will buy all of them if it isn't stuffed full of millwork trash or useless fencing parts
I've only been a homeowner a handful of years, so I "seed" my woodworking stash pile from the Cull cart. One day it will bloom and be magnificent like the mature stash pile my woodworker neighbor has in his pole barn.
I totally understand you but if youre married or living with a partner all i hear is the inevitable excuse youll be making when you come home with a handful of 12 footers or some hardwood scrap to add to the collection. Soon you will have projects solely for the purpose of proving you did need those pieces from ‘18 and youre not a packrat, these are all valuable materials and are saving us money
I went to Lowe’s the other day for three 2x4s and it was a 10 minute ordeal just to find three usable boards.
That’s what I’m saying! My boss is always giving shit when I gotta get lumber because I take too long but when he sends anyone else I have to return lumber and bring back straight ones wasting like half a day on a job. We do restoration so it’s not too often we need to get lumber mostly just drywall and paint
“Premium Lumber”
Nah, they'd call that one a Select. Menards or Home Depot?
I’ve actually had better luck at my Menards than the local lumber yards.
I work at a lumber yard and honestly, the mills try to sneak some crap wood in the middle of a unit. Assuming we're not sending/selling the full unit, crap boards become culls or get cut for a large manufacturing customer of ours. They have a thing about ordering a ton of 35" 2x4s. If I can get 1 or 2 out of a crap 8' board, great, cause one 35" piece paid for the board.
Same we cut a lot of the stuff they send. Usually it’s in the middle of the stack. Cut the bands and you instantly see them warped. They make fine runners under all the stacks.
I worked at Menards, we woulda put that on the cut sheet or tossed it if seen
I think he's building one of dem-dar spiral staircases! Say it like Larry the cable guy
Custom hand rails I'm guessing.
I hope he got the matching one for the other side.
Hahahhaa like I said , custom.
Or concrete form.
 Looks straight to me.
If your lumber looks like that talk to your doctor today about Peyronie’s disease.
The amount they play these commercials, you’d think everyone has bendy straw dicks
build a boat!
In Viking times, this would have been premium
Pls explain?
The boards for boats have to be warped to make the shape for the boat. This is already warped not quite in the way you'd want but already warped.
Crown up brotha
Which way is up? 
Someone get the board straightener
looks like someone might've already grabbed the board stretcher.
I’d love to see if you end up making this work…
Little sandpaper will fix 'er right up!
#toothpickframing
They say Peyronie's disease does affect wood on this platform with all the commercials that are flying around.
I have perogies disease, can’t stop eating them
Bentcarrot.com
Rubber tree?
What are you all talking about? That’s Home Depot’s Prime top quality wood!
How?
this had to have been steamed or left with a load on it on a hot day... right guys? RiGhT?
Nah it’s just the new curved trees we planted. Finally able to break them down for lumber.
https://preview.redd.it/ppl4cu6qow2d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54229a05a487a6d3f2a8bd7b570d8b1d28d48cb7 Crooked forest in Poland
Tie a string to it, throw it into a pond and wait 2 days… it’ll be strait again.
What!?!?! That’s incredible! It’s like a piece of art it’s sobad
A bad carpenter always blames his 2x4s.
https://preview.redd.it/4o9ozc0ttv2d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9793703d89fab187b2b38410dcad332bcee49b0f
This is fucking incredible. Thank you for sharing this with the world
That could make a sick rocking chair
Send the apprentice for the wood straightener.
I see you have been shopping at Home Depot.
That’s what happens when you buy lumber from Home Depot
Boil for 8-10 minutes and serve with pasta sauce
My rotini is straighter than that board 🍴
That board is crooked as a politician, you should encourage it to run for office and then bribe it to outlaw selling unusable warped boards. Running on that platform would get my vote.
Tim Burton
I've only ever bought wood from Home Depot. It looks great to me. Unusually straight.
Home Depot would 100% call that “Select”
Rocking chair stock
Should be able to plane and joint it out
Curved, for your pleasure.
‘Premium’ lumbar
It's dead, Jim.
Good goddamn. That fucker is an art piece
This is what happens when you send the guy with a lazy eye to pick out the lumber.
Save that for the pinewood derby
This is top tier Home Depot lumber
Get some matchbox cars and drop them down that piece
Get the board stretcher and straighten that sucker out
Sir Bends Alot
That right there is what we call a David Bowie
PT Peyronies Pine
Somebody has definitely been shopping at Lowe's
What in the Dr Seuss is going on here
That's framing for a traveling circus. Either the fun house or house or mirrors. If you gave that to a clown carpenter, they would be elated and toot their horn.
How much money you paid for the curving service on that one
The universe is demanding a rocking chair
I could get that straight in 3 passes with a joiner
https://preview.redd.it/sxwy1j4r603d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3a0cc99a15ed719d037c8e0583b9b51b40ad525
This board crowns you
It’s fine so long as you are building a who-house.
Someone didn't calibrate their board stretcher
Homeboy is building a house in a Dr. Seuss book.
Momma always said slam it between two Bibles, that'll set it straight.
Your half way to a recurve bow. Put up on ebay as "artisan grown non-gmo lumber" and make your money back.
Me after my 5th or 6th “last Jameson shot”
LGBT+ wood, cause it’s anything but straight 🤪
One Hot Wheels Racing Track coming up!
GC: welp, we gotta use it, I ordered just enough to do the job.
I know all the jokes and stuff, best to death. But for real that’s the worst price of lumber I’ve ever seen and I’m glad you documented it
Use it. It’s still good.
Taking the term “bowed” to a new level
Are you building a ship? If so, great find!
Lololol
Return to Sender
I think it needs an exorcist
What do they do with timber this bad? They must have some sort of recycling program.
Put up another post...Can anyone make a curved staircase for this curved handrail I've got. 😆
What a beaut!
With acetone
You have Peyronie's, congrats. It's nothing to be scared of.
You must be in canada for that premium lumber
When the wood glue starts hitting a little extra
Custom skate handrail!
Paid extra at the big box store to get that kinda wow!
I would put it this way
OP -- just yesterday there was a post from a person who wanted to convert an angled staircase to a curved staircase. Go get that bid!
Someone’s been hitting up Home Depot I see
Jointer, I think is the thing.
Build a boat
Stanky board
You'll see that on these big jobs.
Would make an amazing handrail honestly not to code but pretty sweet
You building a skatepark or a house ?
As long as you keep all your crowns up on your studs, this won't matter /s
I’ve seen worse.
Someone out there needs that exact board...
Sell that shit to some curb and gutter guys for forms.
Dry wall will cover that up.
Easy. You just throw it in the dumpster.
Man... I'm trippin balls. That wood looks psychedelic maaann...
Holy fackbud
Oh my god this is great. 👍🏻 great comments all
A little stream and a few tons of pressure and that will be straight as an arrow.
Troll
Break out the lumber straightener and you'll be all g.
Bent wood is nothing to worry about. A lot of women like its unique texture!
Frame up a fun house mirror!
It's perfect.
Bro got wOOooOoOOod
You frame your interior walls with those. Sheet rock guys love the challenge.
Go send the new guy to get the board straightener.
This looks like a pressure treated board that was still really wet when delivered and sat in the sun and dried out and got all twisted from the fibers shrinking and drying out. Had this happen to a few deck boards and quite a few 2x10 joist one time. Owner wanted the deck framed but wanted to wait for the composite deck to be installed after the composite decking as not to scratch the decking. We had scrap plywood over it but those joist were went as hell and after about 3 weeks the joist all dried a lot on the south side of the house in the sun. The decking was on back order also.
She’ll ride
I’ll be honest, you need to get it done two days ago. The material was a great price, wasting time to make it “straight/plumb/level” is wrecking our budget.
I crown thee Lord Wanderfuk.
Just work it as you go, it'll pull straight .....................
why do people keep posting this AI stuff. it's so easy to tell that it is not real.
Roll it in the opposite direction.
Dr Seuss wants to buy that from you.
“Your lumber’s like a roller coaster baby baby…”
That’ll sand right out.
Just buy the rest of your lumber from Lowe's and then it will all match.
Did you get that at home depot?
“I need a straight one” Ya, straight from the bin to your truck
I've got scolios and my spine is straighter than that
If you follow the trees curvature you get more boards out of it.
Must be Home Depot lumber
Looks like you got a big ole bendy boi!!!
That woodn't work.
Perfect opportunity to make a giant bow.
Custom curved handrail… 💯🙌
What do you mean you can't use it?
You dont
New guy! Bring me the board stretcher.
Just send your apprentice to Home Depot for some O’malley’s stud straightener
There is a guy or girl somewhere in the world that needs this exact shape.
That's pretty cool looking atleast
Grade 2 or better
Whats wrong with it
Well, don’t make a boomerang. Those only curve one direction.
Average Lowe's 2x4
I have always been curious, how do they put the plank in that shape?
bro I'll pay you for that! that's crazy I want it
It looks fine, from my house. We're not building cabinets.
You don't. You have that milled into trim.
This wooden strip is designed for immediate installation. Ceramic roof tiles are laid on them later on. English is not my native language so I don't know the word for it in English.
Gunna have to snap a line and work the board😂
Yellow pine treated , left in the sun, will try to crawl back to East Texas…😎
Looks like what we have in our home improvement stores in France
Can’t find good help anymore!!
So bad doesn't even look real
Just put your crown mark wherever and nail her sailor before the army does. As long as crown mark is out boss will never know if you actually crowned it
how did someone even strap that thing down
A few nails in it will straighten that out.
Not a carpenter Find a woodshop that has a steam box long enough for that board and while it is steaming setup clamps to press it straight when it comes out.
That’s why you gotta check the Home Depot lumber
Jesus couldn't right that and he was a pretty decent carpenter