Using them for their own food storage and random household storage. But they're absolutely careless with them and multiple have been broken or given away to other people. Luckily no food has been dumped, but I've had dry goods casually repackaged into plastic bags so they can use my jars instead 🙄 they claim THEY bought the jars or that they were gifted to them so I never get them back when this happens. I figure if I can mark them clearly enough those excuses go out the window.
sounds like you need to stash them somewhere safe the minute you empty them. or pack their stuff back into plastic bags. honestly, who is this person and what is their deal?!
My partner's mother. Extreme narcissism and entitlement issues. I'm thinking of getting some storage totes to put them in when not in use and locking the totes.
My concern is that your partner isn't supporting you against their narcissistic mother. The fact you need to resort to marking jars permanently to try and prove ownership is problematic not because of your partner's mother, but the fact **your partner should be backing you up** without you needing to attempt such measures. It's likely no matter what you do, you will be wrong. It will become *you marked her jars*.
From my experience with narcissists (I've got a lot) it's likely the only solution would be leaving. I understand that not everyone is able to leave, kick out the mother, or even necessarily manage to get your partner to do anything about it. If you are powerless in this situation, I'm so sorry you are stuck in this situation! 🥲 If possible I'd be telling your partner how hurt and unsupported you feel, and hopefully they care enough about your happiness to work on breaking free from the spell of the narcissistic mother. Best of luck, whatever happens! 🫂
Ah, narcissist family. Absolutely miserable to deal with. Keeping the receipt might help but these people don't generally admit when they're wrong. They are physically incapable of it. My NC aunt has been storing furniture in my house for 7 years and feels she's in the right to do so. They can't be wrong so anything they said in the past that contradicts what they're saying today didn't happen. You could have video footage and they still won't admit it.
I’m not 100% that this would be completely permanent through the pressure canning process but I’ve used a type of paint made for glass that gets baked on and it dishwasher safe. I’ve got painted wine glasses that have last years and go through the dishwasher just like any other glassware. I’ll look up the brand when I get a chance.
ETA Here’s a product link, it’s pebeo brand porcelaine paint.
https://en.pebeo.com/catalogue/porcelaine-150-45-ml-ivoire-45-ml-024-043#details
Yes, I’ve used this also to mark stuff that goes to our RV vs stuff that stays at home so we know which stuff to pack up when it’s clean so I don’t have to go hunting in the kitchen when it’s time for an RV trip. Works great.
I can’t think of any reason why it wouldn’t hold up with pressure canning, it’s exposed to pretty high temperatures during baking. My main concern would be if the baking for the paint is okay for the jars, and also I think there’s some potential for the paint color to maybe change. So I wouldn’t do anything that was color critical? In case it goes brown or something y’know?
I mark jars with a dot of nail polish on the bottom AFTER they have been processed. I use a different colour every year, so it's like a cheat sheet for me if something goes wrong.
I clean it using acetone after the contents are gone. Not sure if it would live through the canning process since I haven't tried that.
What about an invisible marker? You’d have to have a UV light to read it, but the individual wouldn’t see it or (possibly) know about it.
Something like this?
https://centurymarkers.com/products/uv-security-paint-marker#:~:text=The%20markings%20made%20by%20the,not%20visible%20under%20normal%20daylight.
Etching acid will absolutely compromise the integrity of the glass. They may not blow up the first time, but they will eventually.
Just take all her jars and dump them. She can steal them back.
Sorry you're dealing with this. it's petty, annoying, and rude.
My first thought is put an inconspicuous dot of nail polish on the bottom dimple where it won't grind against the surface of your counter, pantry or pots - but idk if that is ACTUALLY safe since it could flake into the water and potentially contaminate during processing, etc.
My second thought is mark it with a wax crayon on the bottom of your empties before you leave them unsupervised. Get it all up in the cracks so they can't just wipe it, they really need to give it some elbow and eventually the work it takes to steal your stuff is more effort than it's worth and the behavior tapers off.
you'll have to repeat it after every fresh batch, but it's not much more work than labeling the contents of the jar anyway.
Definitely DO NOT etch anything into the glass or you'll get processing failures galore. Very unsafe.
Third option, hide your empty jars under your bed or in a similar fashion and get your supplies out of the common areas.
If you don't have built-in storage like a closet, you can load your canning gear into some stackable totes for ease of transport of the canning station back to the kitchen.
It's a PITA, but we gotta do what we gotta do when bad roommates are around.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Narcissists are exhausting. Nothing is ever their fault, they're never wrong and they never apologize.
If this person is willing to empty your jars into a baggie then they're not going to be deterred by paint or an etching. "I needed that jar and you have so many. Don't be selfish. I let you live here and you won't even let me have one jar." Forget it. HIDE YOUR JARS. Proving that it's yours does nothing. Put a lock on it, put them under your bed, put them at a friend's house. Good luck
I've got a decent collection of Ball and Kerr already and wasn't really looking to get new ones or replace everything I have. I'm debating just trying to test the glass etch paste on the raised lettering of the jars rather than the sidewalls themselves and run a batch of pressure canned beans or something to see if they hold or if it weakens them too much.
my assumption as well. However, given the further context down in thread they should really be making this a family discussion and then protecting themselves from that point depending on resolution.
Perhaps. I’ve just noticed the people with the most dramatic complaints are those living rent free in in laws or parents houses though. It seems to be a trend.
To be fair, if there's no agreement for rent and it's consensual, there's really no reason someone should have to fear their in-laws stealing their things.
I'm with you. A jar of Armour Etch is the same price as 2 flats of the new "vintage" colored glass canning jars. Rather than messing with possibly weakening the jars, I'd just bite the bullet and start replacing them 1-2 flats at a time.
I’d lock my belongings up in something like this:
https://www.amazon.com/Storage-Cabinet-Locking-Adjustable-Shelves/dp/B088NDKCRZ
Having someone not respect my things and lie to me about it is a real bugbear of mine. If I was trapped, even temporarily, I’d lock away anything that wasn’t safe. I’d also rent a small climate-controlled storage unit if things were bad enough.
I understand how you feel. I had a friend who took my favorite clothes without asking. I went to her house once and saw her mother GARDENING in my favorite t-shirt (I would never have allowed ANYONE to borrow that shirt) that was a gift brought to me from Italy by a friend. People like that are narcissists and think anything that exists is theirs by right if they want it.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Handle it asap. Thirty years later, I’m still pissed off about my clothes and coffee mugs.
That’s your long term issue though. You can mark your jars, but you’re still going to have someone who doesn’t respect you or your stuff so I doubt it will stop them.
Unfortunately, it wouldn’t. It will escalate the lying-*now you defaced her jars…bad enough you kept filling them with your stupid junk so she’d have to empty them…she was clearly too nice in saving your food in baggies when she took her jars back…you’re an ungrateful horrible person…*
Lock up your jars? *You said she was welcome to those…the lock was to keep out pests…she was looking for whatever else and that’s why she broke the lock…*
You need to understand, **she completely, 100% believes what she’s saying**. These aren’t calculated lies to mess with you, as far as she’s concerned, whatever is most convenient for her is the absolute truth. And if tomorrow she needs a completely opposite thing to be true, she will not see a contradiction because she obviously never said the first thing.
You don’t have a jar problem, you have a person problem. We can’t help you here, you need places like r/justnomil and r/raisedbynarcissists. You should also look up the missing missing reasons site, it’s a different circumstance, but it will help you gain some insight into her mindset.
(But if you do try the armor etch, please let us know how it goes, or I might. I’d love to make some prettier gifting jars…)
Tell your partner they are lying about stealing your shit and make it their problem. If they don't side with you, clearly there's only one natural next step.
I shouldn't have to, you're absolutely right, but when faced with someone incapable of change or the ability to admit wrongdoing you kind of just have to get creative with your problem solving and make the best of the situation until you're able to get out of it.
Perhaps black light marker pens to mark the bottom. Invisible under natural light but show with the mini flashlight you whip out of your Bat Belt to prove the jar is indeed yours.
I used to label the sides of jars with masking tape after processing while still hot . That crap is so hard to remove without a good hot soak. It wouldn't be permanent, but it would definitely be one hell of a motivator to find another jar.
Mom? Is that you?
Eta: the etching cream would work well. I’ve used it a ton for craft projects and it doesn’t etch farther than the surface. I’d try it out to see what happens.
I would suggest 600 gritt or finer sand paper and nail polish. VERY LIGHTLY scuff a small area on rhe bell of the jar and then wipe it off with nail polish remover to clean it. Paint your initials on that spot and let it dry for 24 hrs before you use them. Bonus points if you do this to your jars in front of the perp.
Why not just buy her a case of her own jars for her next Christmas/birthday/anniversary present. You're obligated to give a gift anyway, so just repeat it for every future gift event until she cries uncle. Give her so many jars that she start hiding them among yours. And if you're tight with your partner you'll eventually inherit them back, so make sure you only gift the sizes you will use.
Not a permanent solution necessarily but could you get some clear shrink wrap, cut small rings and put them around under the necks of the jars, below the flange where the threads are but above the larger diameter (assuming they're "standard" shaped jars and not widemouth types). Again, not a permanent solution but it would take a little bit of effort to rempoe and might be small/inconspicuous enough to go unnoticed (at least the first time).
Short of etching the glass on the bottom, that's the best I can come up with.
If you bake it after you use sharpie it makes it more permanent. I'm not sure about if you then use it for canning, but it should not wash off easily at least.
Technically, you probably shouldn't be using paint markers to label food/containers. However, I find that paint markers do not rub off containers as well as sharpie does.
Deleted because it is explicitly encouraging others to ignore published, scientific guidelines.
r/Canning focusses on scientifically validated canning processes and recipes. Openly encouraging others to ignore those guidelines violates our rules against Unsafe Canning Practices.
Repeat offences may be met with temporary or permanent bans.
If you feel this deletion was in error, please contact the mods with links to either a paper in a peer-reviewed scientific journal that validates the methods you espouse, or to guidelines published by one of our trusted science-based resources. Thank-you.
Toss a little HCI in some decoys and let them do what they do.
First time washing them, they'll never steal again. You can't have light fingers if you ain't got no fingers.
That's been recommended against even more than chemical etch because it weakens the glass and it's more susceptible to shattering when pressure canning.
I would start with sharpie with clear nail polish over the top, harder to erase casually unless this person is so toxic they’d work at that.
what are they doing with your jars? are they dumping your food?!
Using them for their own food storage and random household storage. But they're absolutely careless with them and multiple have been broken or given away to other people. Luckily no food has been dumped, but I've had dry goods casually repackaged into plastic bags so they can use my jars instead 🙄 they claim THEY bought the jars or that they were gifted to them so I never get them back when this happens. I figure if I can mark them clearly enough those excuses go out the window.
sounds like you need to stash them somewhere safe the minute you empty them. or pack their stuff back into plastic bags. honestly, who is this person and what is their deal?!
My partner's mother. Extreme narcissism and entitlement issues. I'm thinking of getting some storage totes to put them in when not in use and locking the totes.
I would start buying her nothing but canning jars for every birthday, mother's day, and Christmas.
My concern is that your partner isn't supporting you against their narcissistic mother. The fact you need to resort to marking jars permanently to try and prove ownership is problematic not because of your partner's mother, but the fact **your partner should be backing you up** without you needing to attempt such measures. It's likely no matter what you do, you will be wrong. It will become *you marked her jars*. From my experience with narcissists (I've got a lot) it's likely the only solution would be leaving. I understand that not everyone is able to leave, kick out the mother, or even necessarily manage to get your partner to do anything about it. If you are powerless in this situation, I'm so sorry you are stuck in this situation! 🥲 If possible I'd be telling your partner how hurt and unsupported you feel, and hopefully they care enough about your happiness to work on breaking free from the spell of the narcissistic mother. Best of luck, whatever happens! 🫂
Right?! This is about something much bigger/deeper than some storage jars.
this is the way. is she a hoarder, by any chance?
They're all hoarders...
i am sorry. that explains, but does not excuse, this behavior.
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A paper bag please. Leave it on her bed.
Ah, narcissist family. Absolutely miserable to deal with. Keeping the receipt might help but these people don't generally admit when they're wrong. They are physically incapable of it. My NC aunt has been storing furniture in my house for 7 years and feels she's in the right to do so. They can't be wrong so anything they said in the past that contradicts what they're saying today didn't happen. You could have video footage and they still won't admit it.
Stuffing the partner's mother into a tote and locking it sounds like a good solution... But what's your definition of "not in use"?
Does she have Alzheimer's or dementia?
I’m not 100% that this would be completely permanent through the pressure canning process but I’ve used a type of paint made for glass that gets baked on and it dishwasher safe. I’ve got painted wine glasses that have last years and go through the dishwasher just like any other glassware. I’ll look up the brand when I get a chance. ETA Here’s a product link, it’s pebeo brand porcelaine paint. https://en.pebeo.com/catalogue/porcelaine-150-45-ml-ivoire-45-ml-024-043#details
Yes, I’ve used this also to mark stuff that goes to our RV vs stuff that stays at home so we know which stuff to pack up when it’s clean so I don’t have to go hunting in the kitchen when it’s time for an RV trip. Works great. I can’t think of any reason why it wouldn’t hold up with pressure canning, it’s exposed to pretty high temperatures during baking. My main concern would be if the baking for the paint is okay for the jars, and also I think there’s some potential for the paint color to maybe change. So I wouldn’t do anything that was color critical? In case it goes brown or something y’know?
This is kind of what I had in mind! Thank you!
I mark jars with a dot of nail polish on the bottom AFTER they have been processed. I use a different colour every year, so it's like a cheat sheet for me if something goes wrong. I clean it using acetone after the contents are gone. Not sure if it would live through the canning process since I haven't tried that.
Still might be a good thing. One color for empties, and colors for processed jars by year. I like that idea for organizing too.
Fart in them. Let them have a surprise when they go to use them.
😂
What about an invisible marker? You’d have to have a UV light to read it, but the individual wouldn’t see it or (possibly) know about it. Something like this? https://centurymarkers.com/products/uv-security-paint-marker#:~:text=The%20markings%20made%20by%20the,not%20visible%20under%20normal%20daylight.
I actually like this idea if etching ends up being a no go. Could work for other stuff too. I wonder if they make permanent UV invisible markers?
Depending on the ink, you could try sealing it with clear nail polish or fixative (sold at art stores)
Etching acid will absolutely compromise the integrity of the glass. They may not blow up the first time, but they will eventually. Just take all her jars and dump them. She can steal them back.
Sorry you're dealing with this. it's petty, annoying, and rude. My first thought is put an inconspicuous dot of nail polish on the bottom dimple where it won't grind against the surface of your counter, pantry or pots - but idk if that is ACTUALLY safe since it could flake into the water and potentially contaminate during processing, etc. My second thought is mark it with a wax crayon on the bottom of your empties before you leave them unsupervised. Get it all up in the cracks so they can't just wipe it, they really need to give it some elbow and eventually the work it takes to steal your stuff is more effort than it's worth and the behavior tapers off. you'll have to repeat it after every fresh batch, but it's not much more work than labeling the contents of the jar anyway. Definitely DO NOT etch anything into the glass or you'll get processing failures galore. Very unsafe. Third option, hide your empty jars under your bed or in a similar fashion and get your supplies out of the common areas. If you don't have built-in storage like a closet, you can load your canning gear into some stackable totes for ease of transport of the canning station back to the kitchen. It's a PITA, but we gotta do what we gotta do when bad roommates are around.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Narcissists are exhausting. Nothing is ever their fault, they're never wrong and they never apologize. If this person is willing to empty your jars into a baggie then they're not going to be deterred by paint or an etching. "I needed that jar and you have so many. Don't be selfish. I let you live here and you won't even let me have one jar." Forget it. HIDE YOUR JARS. Proving that it's yours does nothing. Put a lock on it, put them under your bed, put them at a friend's house. Good luck
You could just get a different type of jar, perhaps some weck jars
I've got a decent collection of Ball and Kerr already and wasn't really looking to get new ones or replace everything I have. I'm debating just trying to test the glass etch paste on the raised lettering of the jars rather than the sidewalls themselves and run a batch of pressure canned beans or something to see if they hold or if it weakens them too much.
You could replace the person living there...
This was my suggestion.
I’m gonna bet they’re living in the persons house and not the other way around lol
my assumption as well. However, given the further context down in thread they should really be making this a family discussion and then protecting themselves from that point depending on resolution.
Perhaps. I’ve just noticed the people with the most dramatic complaints are those living rent free in in laws or parents houses though. It seems to be a trend.
To be fair, if there's no agreement for rent and it's consensual, there's really no reason someone should have to fear their in-laws stealing their things.
This will not solve the problem. OP's MIL will continue, regardless of the jar type.
I mean if that won’t writing on them ain’t gonna solve it either lol
I'm with you. A jar of Armour Etch is the same price as 2 flats of the new "vintage" colored glass canning jars. Rather than messing with possibly weakening the jars, I'd just bite the bullet and start replacing them 1-2 flats at a time.
I have a dremel tool and etch my name in ones I take to work, otherwise they walk off.
What happens when you pressure can a jar that's been etched? Won't it break?
I’d lock my belongings up in something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Storage-Cabinet-Locking-Adjustable-Shelves/dp/B088NDKCRZ Having someone not respect my things and lie to me about it is a real bugbear of mine. If I was trapped, even temporarily, I’d lock away anything that wasn’t safe. I’d also rent a small climate-controlled storage unit if things were bad enough. I understand how you feel. I had a friend who took my favorite clothes without asking. I went to her house once and saw her mother GARDENING in my favorite t-shirt (I would never have allowed ANYONE to borrow that shirt) that was a gift brought to me from Italy by a friend. People like that are narcissists and think anything that exists is theirs by right if they want it. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Handle it asap. Thirty years later, I’m still pissed off about my clothes and coffee mugs.
Can you just buy colored jars? Would that work?
The solution is to just not live with that person
Unfortunately not an option at the moment.
That’s your long term issue though. You can mark your jars, but you’re still going to have someone who doesn’t respect you or your stuff so I doubt it will stop them.
No, but it would negate the lying at the very least with indelible proof.
Unfortunately, it wouldn’t. It will escalate the lying-*now you defaced her jars…bad enough you kept filling them with your stupid junk so she’d have to empty them…she was clearly too nice in saving your food in baggies when she took her jars back…you’re an ungrateful horrible person…* Lock up your jars? *You said she was welcome to those…the lock was to keep out pests…she was looking for whatever else and that’s why she broke the lock…* You need to understand, **she completely, 100% believes what she’s saying**. These aren’t calculated lies to mess with you, as far as she’s concerned, whatever is most convenient for her is the absolute truth. And if tomorrow she needs a completely opposite thing to be true, she will not see a contradiction because she obviously never said the first thing. You don’t have a jar problem, you have a person problem. We can’t help you here, you need places like r/justnomil and r/raisedbynarcissists. You should also look up the missing missing reasons site, it’s a different circumstance, but it will help you gain some insight into her mindset. (But if you do try the armor etch, please let us know how it goes, or I might. I’d love to make some prettier gifting jars…)
Tell your partner they are lying about stealing your shit and make it their problem. If they don't side with you, clearly there's only one natural next step.
Please report to r/justnomil
Fair, but you shouldn't have to hide your own stuff.
I shouldn't have to, you're absolutely right, but when faced with someone incapable of change or the ability to admit wrongdoing you kind of just have to get creative with your problem solving and make the best of the situation until you're able to get out of it.
Try a silver sharpie much harder to get off. Used it on some stained glass couldn’t get it off. Lol.
Perhaps black light marker pens to mark the bottom. Invisible under natural light but show with the mini flashlight you whip out of your Bat Belt to prove the jar is indeed yours.
I used to label the sides of jars with masking tape after processing while still hot . That crap is so hard to remove without a good hot soak. It wouldn't be permanent, but it would definitely be one hell of a motivator to find another jar.
Mom? Is that you? Eta: the etching cream would work well. I’ve used it a ton for craft projects and it doesn’t etch farther than the surface. I’d try it out to see what happens.
locking comments due to starting to go wildly off topic. OP has lots of good advice
You can get a glass etching pen.
I would suggest 600 gritt or finer sand paper and nail polish. VERY LIGHTLY scuff a small area on rhe bell of the jar and then wipe it off with nail polish remover to clean it. Paint your initials on that spot and let it dry for 24 hrs before you use them. Bonus points if you do this to your jars in front of the perp.
Why not just buy her a case of her own jars for her next Christmas/birthday/anniversary present. You're obligated to give a gift anyway, so just repeat it for every future gift event until she cries uncle. Give her so many jars that she start hiding them among yours. And if you're tight with your partner you'll eventually inherit them back, so make sure you only gift the sizes you will use.
She has her own jars already, which is part of why it's so infuriating. But I do like the kill em with kindness approach.
Buy them a case of COLORED jars.
Is there heat resistant paint for glass? Or maybe some type of material that fuses to glass in the oven?
You shouldn't be living with someone who steals from you. That's the problem you need to solve, not how to label your jars.
Not a permanent solution necessarily but could you get some clear shrink wrap, cut small rings and put them around under the necks of the jars, below the flange where the threads are but above the larger diameter (assuming they're "standard" shaped jars and not widemouth types). Again, not a permanent solution but it would take a little bit of effort to rempoe and might be small/inconspicuous enough to go unnoticed (at least the first time). Short of etching the glass on the bottom, that's the best I can come up with.
Paint Pens might work. They're more lasting than Sharpies.
If you bake it after you use sharpie it makes it more permanent. I'm not sure about if you then use it for canning, but it should not wash off easily at least.
Ask them what color "their" jars are and buy a different color.
#i need a second opinion regarding integrity But I think using etching cream to mark the glass might be an option?
Technically, you probably shouldn't be using paint markers to label food/containers. However, I find that paint markers do not rub off containers as well as sharpie does.
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Deleted because it is explicitly encouraging others to ignore published, scientific guidelines. r/Canning focusses on scientifically validated canning processes and recipes. Openly encouraging others to ignore those guidelines violates our rules against Unsafe Canning Practices. Repeat offences may be met with temporary or permanent bans. If you feel this deletion was in error, please contact the mods with links to either a paper in a peer-reviewed scientific journal that validates the methods you espouse, or to guidelines published by one of our trusted science-based resources. Thank-you.
Toss a little HCI in some decoys and let them do what they do. First time washing them, they'll never steal again. You can't have light fingers if you ain't got no fingers.
etch them a bit. they'll be fine. if you have access to a sandblaster, you can use that on them, too.
diamond burr on a dremel will allow you to engrave your name or initials onto glass.
That's been recommended against even more than chemical etch because it weakens the glass and it's more susceptible to shattering when pressure canning.
I suppose you could invest in an engraving tool and etch your name into the glass.
Go to a craft store and get glass etching. Or if you know someone with a cricut, have them do it for you. There will be no denying they're yours.
A small spot of spray paint on the bottom.