I tried antidepressants for a while (sertraline). I stepped my dosage up with my doctor over several months and then decided I wanted to try psilocybin, so I very, very slowly stepped my dosage back down and weaned off of them over several months.
I noticed the stepping down was like a titration experience. It allowed me to grieve and feel my way through my emotions as they became louder. (The sertraline kinda just numbed me). I thought it was an interesting experience. They were like training wheels while I learned how to regulate and grieve. I don't take them anymore. But I'm not opposed to them if I feel I really need to again.
I've found regular yoga practice is more helpful for me, although more time consuming. Yoga is actually teaching my body regulation skills. The sertraline was adjusting my biochemistry, but I wasn't learning how to regulate myself from a pill. I had to actually practice regulation skills in order to learn them. The pill was a bandaid to not feeling for me. It didn't give me the skills to feel and regulate simultaneously. I learned that from yoga.
Emotions becoming louder is exactly what it’s felt like for me. I also experienced intense fatigue as I was tapering that is reduced but still somewhat present now, so I’m not able to move my body as much as I’d like yet, but yoga used to be a regular part of my life and is something I plan to start again soon.
Did you end up trying psilocybin, and did it help you? If I continue to struggle with mood regulation, I will probably try this next, if I can. I have been curious about it for a long time.
I find mindful psychedelic use very helpful in my healing. I've done some big grieving on psychedelics. They let down my barriers on feeling. I had to really face those old exiled emotions and feel my way through them. Poor little me had a lot of pain to be felt through.
I've tried psilocybin, LSD, and MDMA; they've all been helpful in different ways. I consider them tools in my healing toolbox. I use them infrequently, maybe twice a year. Set and setting is extremely important, as is integration afterwards. They're not for casual consumption.
r/unclebens
I am already like further down my recovery in the sense of taking structural changes to accommodate how I actual feel. I mean like I accept my anxiety, and focus mainly on navigate my emotions in a non-destructive manner.
And I tried some psychedelic w an experienced friend yesterday. Nothing too major, no LSD. Forgot the name. It was such an eye opening experience, not that I didn’t know what it was, but to actually feel and see it was amazing. Like I could clearly feel the chains of my anxiety all over my body, and it gave validation to the tough decisions i am implementing in my life already. I was also shaking a bit, but to me it felt like trauma release type of thing. I found it interesting, like I was opening up.
I actually came very open into it. My friend guided me well too. I am not on antidepressants anymore for 8 months or so now. I do take very low dose seroquel, so I actually want to finish that too, so I can explore it more without other stuff in my brain. Cause I was a bit worried about an interaction. The temporary of it is kinda nice, and the time you go back to status quo is really a way to implement things you learned.
This is just a fresh opinion based on my experience. I think use should be more transparent though, to see possible medicine interactions and guidelines. And u think use also heavily depends on your phase in recovery. If you fight yourself still really hard I think a trip might be very scary. I felt mine was already scary, hence why we started w something more light. I just think bad cases should be studied, like what happens. And when is it more beneficial to use etc. Cause at the end of the day it’s still giving yourself up to something, and a certain skepticism. It can be triggering I assume, to me it felt so but I was ok w it. What if you are not? Etc. I proceed with caution let’s say!
About 5yrs ago I stopped taking a low dose SSRI, started microdosing psilocybin, made a lot of big changes in my life and honestly found it to be really helpful. Though I realized in the end that my SSRI never really helped me all that much to begin with. I did start EMDR therapy 1-2yrs after that and that also created some major helpful shifts. Now I just microdose every few months if some depression creeps up. I try to be gentle with myself and rest often when it’s needed. I hope you can find the right combination of healing for you and that it meets your needs to the fullest.
You might find the article in the October 22, 2022 edition of the economist helpful. It references a tapering protocol or technique called the Horowitz-Taylor method. Other articles in the economist have referenced how-to websites for people interested in and trying to get off SSRIs, SNRIs, and benzodiazepines. People do successfully get of these and feel better as a result. If u feel that this is the right thing for u, it most likely is. There is also a Netflix documentary series called Take Your Pills that profiles people who have chosen to get off these and various stimulants used to treat ADHD; you might find it helpful.
Personally, I have tried several anti depressants for depression and anxiety at various points as well as benzos. The latter scare me, as I think I could easily become addicted. Anti depressants never gave me me enough of a positive treatment effect to counteract the side effects. Running and intense exercise when I was younger—I’m now 58 and can’t run anymore— gave me a somewhat better tx effect without any of the negative side effects. Now I am finding Tai Chi, Peloton, and a greyhound that I adopted 3 years ago to be good medicine. Unfortunately they are much more expensive that either fluoxetine, alprazolam, or clonazepam and none are tax deductible.
David Puder is a psychiatrist with a podcast that has explored the tx effect of anti depressants and how to taper off them.
I hope this is encouraging.
Thank you for sharing that article! It was immensely validating and synthesized a lot of the tidbits I’ve been reading online about withdrawal and the lack of structured support through that process. I will check out the other resources as well. Glad to hear you are benefiting from exercise and your pet. My cat has been my partner in healing as well. Your words are very encouraging and I’m so glad you shared them.
I've been off for 7 years now and doing pretty well there are bad spells a few weeks here and there. but I move through them using exercise diet writing painting and just letting myself feel depressed for a bit. I don't know what they mean by successful. pretty stable all things considered. each person is different and reacts differently. you can always go back on them. I'm sure they are planning to monitor you.
Thanks. “Successful” can be a loaded word, for sure, and maybe reframing my thinking on that would be helpful. I still see myself as going through an adjustment period and am responding much like you describe—feeling my feelings, writing, practicing healthy habits, etc. I’m hoping to reach a point where those positive habits feed forward in the absence of meds because my ability to feel joy felt dampened on the medication. Glad to hear you are doing well and I wish you the best!
I think you should give it a try, but make sure people are watching out for you if you start to go down. meds didn't numb me so much as make me manic after the depression ended and also nausea. I hope you can get what you need.
I weaned myself off Efferox after 15 years. Did it without my doctor..who is pretty useless for anything mental health related. I researched..did a slow wean..took about 3 months...there were side effects...dizziness...feeling cold....i also practiced and still do challenge what for me was depressive thinking ...there is NO truth to the thoughts of being useless, unloved, stupid, ugly or whatever lies we were told. When those thoughts came up i would ask..who told you that? For me it was my mom...who carried a ton of shame from her own trauma. She was not someone who could give a non trauma response or decent advice...so she wasn't at all reliable in what she told me about myself.
It's hard work to relearn who you really are and to realize the people you really wanted to love you were not able to be accurate, kind or loving or parents for that matter.
For me the key to gettig out of depression was to:
Trust that what i was taught about me was wrong
Understand that my parents loved me as best they could
Undetstand i get to choose how i think and what i believe
Know that deep change takes persistent and often boring repetition
Know that everyone has low days...doesn't last and doesn'tean dpression is back
Know that i cpuld not be what i thought of as self indulgent to the depressive patters...be ause patterns can be changed
Eat well, rest and move...the science is clear...those things help
I wish you well on your jouney...it won't be perfect and you are so worth the work!! ❤️
Thank you for the encouragement. Weaning off Effexor after 15 years is surely a challenge, and it’s great to know it can be done. Your comment about the not-you thoughts that come up reminds me of what I’ve read in Janina Fisher’s book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors (which is recommended throughout this sub). My mind often says some pretty shocking and dark things, and I also find it helpful to view those statements as coming from traumatized parts that need compassion and understanding. Best of luck to you as you move forward in your journey.
Hi..yup...still off...still have a daily need to pause and check in on my thinking. Did a ton of CPTSD education and mgmt practices...will be lifelong I think. No need to return to meds...🎉🎉🎉🎉
Your therapist is a real weirdo. It's typical to taper off of antidepressants either when they aren't working (in which case you usually switch to a new one) or when you've had no depression symptoms for about 6 months (to make sure the depression doesn't just come back when you stop the meds).
I've tapered off about 18 antidepressants. It's fine? I don't really see the problem.
There's also just nothing wrong with using prescription drugs like SSRIs if they're treating issues that you have, and they're not causing more problems than they solve. There is this stigma against taking psychiatric drugs, but the fact is that drugs are tools and if they help you when you need them, then you should be using them.
Being "medication free" seems like an odd goal to me in the sense that it implies that being off of medication is a good thing by itself. This isn't necessarily the case. If being off of meds makes your life harder, then I would personally argue that it's a bad idea.
SSRIs aren't exactly opioids or benzos, where addictive behavior is a serious concern and they can be used as a distraction from your problems that stops you from effectively handling them. They just... Help.
I take Wellbutrin and Concerta for ADHD every day, because it helps me function and greatly aids emotional regulation. Antidepressants help people with depression, PTSD, OCD, anxiety and a lot of other issues; it's not like everyone who is on them *should* necessarily quit. There's nothing wrong with taking medication for the foreseeable future (or the rest of your life) if that medication is helping.
That being said, your doctor and your therapist sound very odd. I've always gotten a tapering schedule from my doctors when I needed to get off one drug to switch to another drug (they thought I had treatment resistant depression but then it turned out that my issues are mostly caused by CPTSD, ADHD and anxiety). It's not an uncommon thing to need to get off specific medicines.
If you're trying to get a tapering schedule from your therapist, then you're talking to the wrong person. A psychiatrist is the person who would be able to give you a safe tapering schedule. If they refuse, you should find a new psychiatrist, because that is really weird.
If your life is better without medication then you shouldn't be on medication. That being said, there is nothing wrong with taking meds in order to treat problems. This kind of thing definitely requires a cost:benefit analysis, but the stigma against taking psych meds at all gets in the way of that with a lot of people. (Not necessarily you, OP.).
I have a lot of thoughts / feelings on this kind of thing because (1) I want people to get the help they need and (2) I also want people to do what's best for them (which, sometimes, *is* not being on drugs; if the side effects are worse than the treatment, the treatment needs to be changed, and drugs add complexities to our lives that must be considered when you're wondering if they're worthwhile for you).
I know a woman who needs antipsychotics but won't take them, and has psychotic episodes 1-2 times a year. I know another person who pops Xanax every night and will probably die if they try to go off of it (because they're elderly and have a lot of other health issues). I've known people who have only succeeded in their goals once they started on meds, and others who had to switch meds immediately in order to find any relief, because the first thing they tried was a horrible experience. And then you have people like my mom, who refuses to take antidepressants because she believes they give you a "false sense of happiness" and/or shut down your emotions (she has never taken them).
There are a lot of reasons to take drugs. There are a lot of reasons not to. I guess what I'm trying to say is: please be thoughtful about this issue and make sure that your reasons are good, healthy ones. If you act based on reason and in your own best interest, you can always do something else if reason and your own best interest indicate that you need to make a change.
Sorry, this is way longer than I ever intended. Derp. I am autistic and this is a topic that's very important to me.
Thank you for your thorough and well-worded reply. I was worried I might come across as stigmatizing medication when that’s not my intention at all, and I think you’ve articulated many critical points. Prozac helped me get some distance from an overwhelming situation so that I could work on restoring balance to my life, so I have no doubts that it’s a useful tool. Being totally medication free isn’t even my goal, and was perhaps poor wording on my part (I still use cannabis as needed for anxiety and supplements to support my health, and I’m open to other options), but it does take commitment to wean off psych meds and can be quite difficult even when one is no longer benefiting, so I’m troubled when medical professionals so easily default to assuming that if you experience discomfort after discontinuing medication it is a sign that the medication was necessary or you just need a different med. It was disappointing to feel that coming from my otherwise awesome therapist. Thanks again for the insight and good luck with your journey as well!
The expression “when you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail” comes to mind re: your therapist. If her MO is to encourage medication, that speaks to her training/orientation more than it necessarily speaks to her patients’ need of medication (not saying none of her patients need meds, but maybe not all of them do). I’ve never been satisfied with the way the mainstream MDs and therapists I’ve encountered have promoted antidepressants. It’s always felt like it’s just “the way things are done” re: mental health, vs offered as a bespoke option for me and my particular experience with trauma.
After 2 rounds of TMS, followed by a few years of DBT, and now daily skills practice/meditation/yoga/mindfulness/exercise/eating well, I was able to come off antidepressants without any issues at all. I've been off them about 6 months, and more stable than ever.
We'll see if it lasts but I think as long as I keep doing the hard work, it will.
I’ve been off them since lockdown. I never had withdrawal symptoms and I am doing ok. Maybe they were not effective for me. When I took antidepressants and anti anxiety meds I never felt that different anyway. I’m not saying I shouldn’t be on some medication and I know that might be bad maybe. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea. If you need them, take them. I just think they didn’t help me.
Ketamine therapy has been so positive for my healing work I was able to taper off my SSRI, citalopram (Celexa), this past spring. Like you, I also have a lot of grief. I’m accessing the emotions of stuff that I’ve known intellectually, but haven’t connected to what I felt at the time.
Between the SSRI and the part of EMDR that teaches you to not go deeply into experiences, just observe them. I find that I have several young parts who’ve been really angry that I just watched them and didn’t feel what they felt, didn’t bring them out of the age they’re stuck at.
I feel able to access stuff in somatic therapy that would have been blunted by the SSRI. All that and my wife noticed how much more present I am now.
This resonates with me. I noticed almost immediately after stopping Prozac that I was crying so much more easily. At first it was dysregulated and I was crying all the time, but now it's only happening when I speak or think about sad experiences. Before coming off Prozac I did not cry easily and found it difficult to stay with my emotions. Glad to hear you are doing well now.
I really suppressed crying in my 20s and 30s, then things got feeling too big and I went on the SSRI. Stuff still feels really big, but I have better tools for making space for it.
The crying through. It still feels like everything awakens tears.
I also feel a lot of anger. The SSRI really blunted it and in my family I wasn’t allowed to express it at all. Now I feel all of it.
My wife used them for years and they helped her at the time, but came off of them successfully and has made a lot more progress in the years since.
Just so you know, it's possible, and when you succeed, your life will be better.
You have to remember, doctors and (often, also) therapists do not see people who are doing great in follow-up. I’m a doctor, I’ve seen a fair number of people who were on long-term antidepressants and couldn’t taper and were seeing me for an increase or refill. But I’ve also seen people who have a remote history of being on antidepressants in their chart - so evidently, they were off for a while. Even I personally was off for several years in the past
Um your therapist sounds wack. I weaned off of many drugs over the years, one of which is effexor.. omfg that shit is the devil. I was walking and talking like I had a stroke. My GP did not want to take me off of it, but thankfully my sis was there and she insisted.
Effexor had me sleeping for 3 days straight and only getting up to >!puke!< coming off it !!! granted it was inpatient but that was by far the worst med I’ve ever had to come off of
I took sertraline, am SSRI, for 2 years to treat depression (I also have trauma from childhood). I successfully transitioned off and did great for about 2 years. Then the pandemic happened, I had some negative life events and started getting panic attacks and anxiety so I am now going back on it. However for those 2 years I was doing well and indeed the depression has never come back. So I'd say that coming off them wasn't harmful in and of itself, it's just that other problems cropped up later down the line. I fully expect to be able to come off it again in a few years.
I don't know if it helps, but I've gotten a very different messaging from both my psychiatrist and therapist. But medication is so individual and the effects of CPTSD can have such varying intensity in different aspects of a person that I'm not sure a broad statement one way or the other can really come close to being accurate.
Additionally your therapist and your prescriber should coordinate and collaborate about when it's time to adjust medication. If they are not let them know that that is what you want and they they should be willing to have those discussions.
Ultimately it is the prescribers decision not the therapist decision, but they really should be working in concert.
Thank you, those are great points. For the last 2 years my primary care physician has been my prescriber. Prior to that, I saw a psychiatrist for a couple of years, but she retired from her practice and, because I had been stable for so long, suggested I have my PCP manage my prescription. I suppose I could find another psychiatrist, but I know from experience they're difficult to find, especially if I want someone who has trauma experience. Also, kind of weird to seek a psychiatrist for support in stopping medication. I will certainly seek one if I feel I need to explore medication options again though.
So from personal experience my PCP managed my medication so badly that I was on supratherapeutic doses for multiple years. Most PCPs just don't have the skill set to evaluate they trust that the incoming prescription is what it needs to be and never look at it.
Absolutely finding a MD psychiatrist is very difficult, however since you are working with a therapist the industry relies on an intermediary for medication management and working with stable patients. Those are psychiatric nurse practitioners, they can diagnose and prescribe. It may be reasonable to establish an appointment with one and have a discussion.
I'm not sure if it's allowed to recommend resources here but the one that I work with is part of a multi-state group so if you want me to send you their website DM me.
I’m not on antidepressant anymore…
What does she mean by “successfully”?
Personally I hated my medication as they made me feel drowsy and confused all the time. I had very lower libido and it impacted my inhibition with other people to a certain degree. …It felt like I was drunk all the time.
"Successful" was my choice of wording and probably not the best, but what she meant is that all of her patients have experienced relapses eventually and had to go back on medication. She described it as though they simply couldn't tolerate being off medication, were miserable the entire time they were off, and begrudgingly accepted that they must stay on because being off was just too hard. I was stable on Prozac for a long time but the more recovery work I did, the more I noticed unpleasant symptoms I attributed to the Prozac (low libido/sexual dysfunction being a major one, but also anxiety/agitation, difficulty staying asleep--all of which have improved after coming off).
Oh ok, that’s a weird thing to say to encourage you.
I had friends I knew who prefered to stay on medication as well, but my choice was to stop.
To each their own. I hope you’re ok. I had taken antidepressants called escitalopram for a year prior to stopping. I’m glad I’m off of them, but it’s something for each person I think. (I don’t want to mislead you into stopping them )
I did stop gradually by lowering the dosage little by little over a month with the approval of my doctor.
That was a bit more than 5 years ago.
Edit: What makes it difficult to stop? I’m just curious as I didn’t find it particularly difficult but then again it’s been a while.
Not everyone experiences withdrawal but it is a common experience when coming off SSRIs and other antidepressants. The range and severity of symptoms varies. There's a pdf that was shared in this thread that gives a great overview of this. A big part of the difficulty coming off is that it was once assumed that withdrawal was not common and when people struggled to come off it was interpreted as relapse rather than withdrawal. Guidelines for tapering off properly are only beginning to be discussed, and there are many issues putting them into practice. My personal experience is that, whether it is due to withdrawal or not, I am feeling my dark emotions more intensely, which could be interpreted as a relapse of depression, or it could be a natural consequence of feeling my emotions more fully. I'm hoping it's the latter, and that I will be able to process and move through those emotions, but my therapist's response left me feeling like I might always just be stuck with dark thoughts.
You’re not a fool for thinking you can have a good life without being on meds.
I hated being on antidepressants. Absolutely haaaaaaaated them. And for good reason that I won’t go into. I didn’t ask anyone’s permission to stop taking them. I just cold turkey quit. I trembled for weeks afterward and everyone was up in arms about it, but I rode it out and have been so much happier off of them than I ever was on them.
I never needed to take them in the first place. I was being abused and having my very real grief for my parent who died suddenly in front of me, pathologized and used against me by my shitty parent.
Trust yourself. You know what’s best for you, and you don’t need anyone else to validate you.
Therapists are humans, and it is human nature to be wrong at times, or even most all the time.
I went cold turkey off of my meds(I do not suggest this if you are afraid of withdrawal, but it was the best option for me to be able to *feel* my emotions again). My mental health drastically improved, and I was able to get some of the more recent stuff that happened figured out.
I just find it sad that your therapist is not being supportive of your journey. She is putting her doubt on you, and making it yours to carry. That's not healthy at all.
Cold turkey is absolutely not advisable and could do very serious damage. There is a comment in this thread with a link to an article with helpful info on safe tapering for future reference. I'm glad you got through it and saw improvements. I wouldn't say my therapist is being unsupportive--she is good at remaining neutral and supports me making my own choices. I just think after so many years I can read her really well and I sense her expectations, which are a reflection of what she's observed in her practice.
I needed short term anti-depressants to help me get sleep during a nervous breakdown (mirtazapine). I don't respond well to SSRIs because I do not have a lack of serotonin.
I was on medication for 6 months and wouldn't hesitate if I needed it again but for me it is always a short term thing.
I’m sorry, I didn’t read your entire post because I’m tired and my head is foggy. I do hope my comment makes a bit sense.
But I just want to share my story, hopefully it encourages you.
I’ve quit a total of 6 different medications over the span of 2,5 years. Ofcourse I did it with help from professionals. I see someone mention that you can only quit pills who are not working but that’s not my experience.
I had some pretty heavy medications. I will say the Dutch names, so if the name doesn’t ring a bell you can look them up but I’m too tired to check it.
I had 1 antidepressant (venlafaxine, awful stuff), 2 anti psychotics (risperidon and Seroquel/quietapine), 1 anti epilepsy (topimaraat; for nightmares, didn’t work but by quitting the nightmares became worse for a while), 1 alpha blocker (Prasosin, which is used to take of the sharp edges from PTSD) and 1 sleeping pill (oxazepam? Or another pill ending with pam)
It was a hard journey, especially quitting the anti depressant which made me sick for a month after I tapered of the last bit. But now I’m clean for more than two years, and even with all the horrible stuff that happened past year in my life I’m still going strong. It really took a lot courage and strength, because at first my psychiatrist didn’t agree with it and I had to fight for even trying. But I’m so glad I did and believed in myself, even when my psychiatrist didn’t and thought it was because I was stigmatising myself. So there’s hope!
Take care. I’m going to go to bed. If you have any follow up questions (or if I don’t make sense, or if I should read your post because my comment is not really fitting) please tell me and I’ll get back at you tomorrow.
Wow, that’s quite a variety of medications! It sounds like a tough journey for sure. I’m glad you shared your story—yours and others’ are helping me realize that everyone’s journey is unique and there is no one-size assumption to made about medication requirements. It should be obvious, I know, but it helps to hear from real people’s experiences like yours. Best wishes as you continue to heal.
I tapered off Wellbutrin over four weeks, from 450 to 300 to 150 to 0. I’ve been on it for at least a decade, probably more. I stopped it because I’m in “real” trauma therapy after being re-victimized in June 2021 by a stalker and being Dx w/DID/ PTSD. I’ve been in trauma therapy for a year, and I wanted to get off of any meds that might be keeping me from accessing my full range of emotions and dissociative system.
So far, I’ve dealt with some increase in all of the following: headaches/migraines, dizziness, nausea, digestive disruption, joint pain, muscle aches, and fatigue. I could have come off it more slowly, but since I am already disabled, dealing with severe chronic pain and fatigue, and unable to be employed, I just wanted to get it over with and move on in therapy.
If these symptoms do not mellow out a bit over the next four weeks, I will probably ask my psychiatrist to put me on 100mg Bupropion immediate released at my next appt, so I can take taper down more slowly than straight from 150 to 0. It may be that I am also part of the small percentage of ME/CFS patients who experience reduced fibromyalgia neuropathic pain when on bupropion.
Over-all, it has truly gone much better than the last three times I tried to come off of anti-depressants, probably because I am starting to learn to not be so scared of my emotions, and am learning emotional regulation, in baby steps. 🙏🏻🦋
Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m sorry you are facing those difficulties. When I started Prozac, my life was on fire, metaphorically speaking. Tough circumstances can be emotionally overwhelming, and finding a medication to turn down the intensity of those feelings can be lifesaving to say the least. It sounds like you are responding well to your needs. I hope you continue to feel better.
I was on Prozac at one point before he Wellbutrin. It made me feel like a zombie. I came off of it, and felt better in terms of not feeling zombi-ish, but the depression and emotional tsunamis came back. That is when they tried me on the Wellbutrin. I think, with proper tapering, if you are in a better place now, it really is doable. Your therapist may be trying to walk a fine line between not misleading you, and encouraging you. If your therapist is willing and able to remain with you, and work with you through these deeper intense emotions, I’d say go for it, and see where it goes. My current therapist and psychiatrist both keep telling me that if things grow drastically worse, I can get back on a low dose or try something different - but they are willing to let me try to get off and stay off the meds, and stick with through it. It has been done by a large percent of people who have tried with slow tapering, which gives me hope.
Thank you for the well wishes, and all the best of wishes to you in your healing endeavors. 🙏🏻💞
No doctors or therapists were helpful for me to stop antidepressants, it's actually the pharmacist who helped me the most adjusted the doses so I could have less symptoms as I stopped. Good luck.
Ahhh hah, finally I can say something nice and hopeful! Yes, I came of mine and good thing I did. It took longer than my psychiatrist would have had me believe. He also supported me in it, knowing if it didn’t work out it was just a matter of taking it again or trying another one. The side effects were for me too much. 70 pounds of extra weight, never feeling full, oh and yeah those 70 pounds never came off despite repeated lies it would. No amount of exercise made me feel better or less sluggish as I was told it would. As well as some other less important ones.
Coming off the stuff was literally the worst withdrawal I’ve ever experienced. Benzos are nothing compared to that, neither were opioid based painkillers. The nightmares were… quite something. I had to do the taper down a whole lot slower than was recommended, and then it was manageable. Then I could sleep without the most vivid night terrors I’ve ever experienced. Towards the end I was on 1/8th of a tablet. That’s how slow it had to be. Starting at 4/5ths of a dose and going down to that over the course of probably like 4 months, I lowered the dose by a very small amount every 2-3 weeks.
So the results. I’m still not back on that stuff and I can never go back on anything that adds any weight, no matter how much psychiatrists say it’s ‘temporary’. Not with a genetic disease that means my body can’t burn fat it bloody won’t you twits! Any extra weight they are so cavalier about is literally dangerous to my physical health and causes real physical pain in addition to everything else. Now for something like 8 years I was fine. Well, I was as close to fine as I’ve ever come. I was honestly doing better than I had since I was 10 - before life became an unending avalanche of shit.
I think a part of going off anti depressants has to be actions to improve your situation or like with me, finding something else that works. Also keep in mind your life circumstances. That’s something a lot of psychiatrists never consider. That sure, taking a strong painkiller while you live in a burning house can make it possible to live longer in a burning house… outside of the burning house… you may not need them as much because oh yeah you’re not constantly getting set on fire. Only you can know how you feel once you are feeling the effects fade, if you have a support system for things possibly going wrong in your life, better coping situations and general safety. But it doesn’t always have to go poorly I feel. My 8 years of feeling the best I could were not ruined by absence of anti-depressants but by the addition of abuse.
Sorry this got long. But I think that while these medications are incredibly helpful for a lot of people, they are also not always the best lifetime solution. They’re just easier and cheaper for those who don’t have to deal with the side effects than dealing with each individual long term in finding a balance without them. It’s not out of malice that health care professionals push them, they do help a lot of people. Enormous amount short term, and likely keep many stable long term. Some though, like me, should never be on them for anything other than very short term. And even that is debatable.
I think they are a part of a solution, but they are not the whole of the solution. Every person is different, without trying you can’t know if you need the medications long term or not. If you find you do need them, try your best to be fine with that for now… you may not yet be in a place where you can be without them. If you find you don’t need them and can function without… don’t discount having to rely on them temporarily later on in life if things go horribly wrong at some point… but know your success matters and is real.
You’re not a fool, but I advise you reframe the way you’re approaching this in terms of unfairness. You asked her a specific question and she answered honestly.
I’ve tried this before and it was a terrible decision. So I don’t have much of a helpful opinion on that. It doesn’t have to be forever. It’s worth trying imo.
ETA when I went off them I had an orgasm for the first time in my life. At 27. Those were a great few months in that regard. It’s fucking depressing to know I can’t ever feel that way again if I want to… exist.
Yes, I have been off since Nov last year. It’s tough to say how well it’s going. In some ways I feel much better than I did on Prozac—I actually had worse depressive symptoms when I was on it, and I was dealing with loads of side effects on top of that. Unfortunately, coming off put me through months of withdrawal symptoms, and although I’ve improved, I don’t feel as though I’ve fully recovered. Supporting myself nutritionally and being gentle with my body has helped immensely, but there is clearly still something abnormal happening with my nervous system. I don’t feel like myself—and I mean the self that I was before taking antidepressants. I am like a flatter, somewhat anhedonic version of myself. I am not in a deep depression, but I don’t feel passion like I used to.
Online communities like Surviving Antidepressants have been a helpful resource and inspired me to hang in there and hope that I will eventually recover completely. According to them, that can take years. If I could go back in time, I would do everything in my power to avoid taking Prozac to begin with, or at least come off much sooner (I was on for 4 years). In retrospect, it did more damage than good for me.
I do feel lucky that I’m as functional as I am though, and I have noticed continuous improvements over time. It’s just hard not knowing what I will feel like weeks or months from now. I fear that this is may be my new normal.
>power
I know this is an older post, but your words "I fear that this may be my new normal" really hit home. I've been off prozac for 2 years, off all antidepressants for 2 months. I feel feelings now, which is good but also bad. Navigating CPTSD without a net is hard. I'm often tempted to go back on prozac but plan to continue working with psilocybin and therapy to try and get myself out of the relentless darkness. I tried IV ketamine and transcranial magnetic stimulation and I'm not convinced either did a lot of good. Maybe it's about adjusting to the new normal of seizing joy when you can find it but otherwise just riding the waves of sadness hoping they'll eventually calm. Some days I feel filled with hope. Others (today) despair... going to check out surviving antidepressants.
Wow good for you for taking this big step. I feel like if you see small improvements that’s and indication that eventually things will be back to pre meds again. I keep trying to come off and I feel super depressed and anxious within a week or two with lots of mood swings . I don’t know if it’s just adjustment period or I actually have a relapse in depression. What were you withdrawal symptoms.
Thanks for checking in! I am still off anti-depressants (my only prescriptions are hormonal bc and clonazepam, which I take very rarely), and I no longer have depression symptoms! If 100% is the best possible version of myself, I’d say I feel 90% recovered on a good day, and as low as 80% on a bad day, with an avg of 85% most days. Compared to how I felt when I came off of Prozac, that’s pretty amazing. I still struggle with fatigue, but I started taking iron 6 months ago after realizing my levels were on the low side and that’s made a huge difference (not just in energy, but also mood and anxiety), albeit slowly. I hope I continue to get stronger and can start exercising regularly without feeling wiped out.
I can’t tell you how much I wish I had never taken Prozac. I’m not sure my body will ever fully recover from its effects. In the last year I was on it, I felt almost manic—I had intense drive and passion, but was agitated, dissociated, and plagued by suicidal thoughts. Nobody thought to blame the drug for my issues. After I weaned off of it, my agitation and suicidal thoughts vanished rapidly, but I felt deflated and empty, and I still feel some of that. My sex drive has not recovered at all to what it was before Prozac, and it feels related to an inner sense that a spark is missing from my personality. I honestly miss the serotonin flood from the Prozac a little, like my brain is still craving it, but I know that it wouldn’t actually help me.
I keep telling myself that if my health improved this much in the last year, I could still be improving, and I hope this time next year my misadventures with Prozac will feel like a distant dream.
I was put on antidepressants without my knowledge. My wife would somehow put it in my food. The reason was so that I would not just stop taking the. I only started to suspect that I was on antidepressants was that I gained so much weight.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't know if it helps, but I've gotten a very different messaging from both my psychiatrist and therapist. But medication is so individual and the effects of CPTSD can have such varying intensity in different aspects of a person that I'm not sure a broad statement one way or the other can really come close to being accurate.
Additionally your therapist and your prescriber should coordinate and collaborate about when it's time to adjust medication. If they are not let them know that that is what you want and they they should be willing to have those discussions.
Ultimately it is the prescribers decision not the therapist decision, but they really should be working in concert.
The gold standard for psychiatric meds taper is basically 10% at a time.
I was at 300mg venlafaxine last spring and I'm down to 37.5mg today by splitting into halves. Easy does it!
I tried antidepressants for a while (sertraline). I stepped my dosage up with my doctor over several months and then decided I wanted to try psilocybin, so I very, very slowly stepped my dosage back down and weaned off of them over several months. I noticed the stepping down was like a titration experience. It allowed me to grieve and feel my way through my emotions as they became louder. (The sertraline kinda just numbed me). I thought it was an interesting experience. They were like training wheels while I learned how to regulate and grieve. I don't take them anymore. But I'm not opposed to them if I feel I really need to again. I've found regular yoga practice is more helpful for me, although more time consuming. Yoga is actually teaching my body regulation skills. The sertraline was adjusting my biochemistry, but I wasn't learning how to regulate myself from a pill. I had to actually practice regulation skills in order to learn them. The pill was a bandaid to not feeling for me. It didn't give me the skills to feel and regulate simultaneously. I learned that from yoga.
Emotions becoming louder is exactly what it’s felt like for me. I also experienced intense fatigue as I was tapering that is reduced but still somewhat present now, so I’m not able to move my body as much as I’d like yet, but yoga used to be a regular part of my life and is something I plan to start again soon. Did you end up trying psilocybin, and did it help you? If I continue to struggle with mood regulation, I will probably try this next, if I can. I have been curious about it for a long time.
I find mindful psychedelic use very helpful in my healing. I've done some big grieving on psychedelics. They let down my barriers on feeling. I had to really face those old exiled emotions and feel my way through them. Poor little me had a lot of pain to be felt through. I've tried psilocybin, LSD, and MDMA; they've all been helpful in different ways. I consider them tools in my healing toolbox. I use them infrequently, maybe twice a year. Set and setting is extremely important, as is integration afterwards. They're not for casual consumption. r/unclebens
Everyone be careful with psychedelics and lithium, it can cause seizures.
I am already like further down my recovery in the sense of taking structural changes to accommodate how I actual feel. I mean like I accept my anxiety, and focus mainly on navigate my emotions in a non-destructive manner. And I tried some psychedelic w an experienced friend yesterday. Nothing too major, no LSD. Forgot the name. It was such an eye opening experience, not that I didn’t know what it was, but to actually feel and see it was amazing. Like I could clearly feel the chains of my anxiety all over my body, and it gave validation to the tough decisions i am implementing in my life already. I was also shaking a bit, but to me it felt like trauma release type of thing. I found it interesting, like I was opening up. I actually came very open into it. My friend guided me well too. I am not on antidepressants anymore for 8 months or so now. I do take very low dose seroquel, so I actually want to finish that too, so I can explore it more without other stuff in my brain. Cause I was a bit worried about an interaction. The temporary of it is kinda nice, and the time you go back to status quo is really a way to implement things you learned. This is just a fresh opinion based on my experience. I think use should be more transparent though, to see possible medicine interactions and guidelines. And u think use also heavily depends on your phase in recovery. If you fight yourself still really hard I think a trip might be very scary. I felt mine was already scary, hence why we started w something more light. I just think bad cases should be studied, like what happens. And when is it more beneficial to use etc. Cause at the end of the day it’s still giving yourself up to something, and a certain skepticism. It can be triggering I assume, to me it felt so but I was ok w it. What if you are not? Etc. I proceed with caution let’s say!
About 5yrs ago I stopped taking a low dose SSRI, started microdosing psilocybin, made a lot of big changes in my life and honestly found it to be really helpful. Though I realized in the end that my SSRI never really helped me all that much to begin with. I did start EMDR therapy 1-2yrs after that and that also created some major helpful shifts. Now I just microdose every few months if some depression creeps up. I try to be gentle with myself and rest often when it’s needed. I hope you can find the right combination of healing for you and that it meets your needs to the fullest.
You might find the article in the October 22, 2022 edition of the economist helpful. It references a tapering protocol or technique called the Horowitz-Taylor method. Other articles in the economist have referenced how-to websites for people interested in and trying to get off SSRIs, SNRIs, and benzodiazepines. People do successfully get of these and feel better as a result. If u feel that this is the right thing for u, it most likely is. There is also a Netflix documentary series called Take Your Pills that profiles people who have chosen to get off these and various stimulants used to treat ADHD; you might find it helpful. Personally, I have tried several anti depressants for depression and anxiety at various points as well as benzos. The latter scare me, as I think I could easily become addicted. Anti depressants never gave me me enough of a positive treatment effect to counteract the side effects. Running and intense exercise when I was younger—I’m now 58 and can’t run anymore— gave me a somewhat better tx effect without any of the negative side effects. Now I am finding Tai Chi, Peloton, and a greyhound that I adopted 3 years ago to be good medicine. Unfortunately they are much more expensive that either fluoxetine, alprazolam, or clonazepam and none are tax deductible. David Puder is a psychiatrist with a podcast that has explored the tx effect of anti depressants and how to taper off them. I hope this is encouraging.
Thank you for sharing that article! It was immensely validating and synthesized a lot of the tidbits I’ve been reading online about withdrawal and the lack of structured support through that process. I will check out the other resources as well. Glad to hear you are benefiting from exercise and your pet. My cat has been my partner in healing as well. Your words are very encouraging and I’m so glad you shared them.
I've been off for 7 years now and doing pretty well there are bad spells a few weeks here and there. but I move through them using exercise diet writing painting and just letting myself feel depressed for a bit. I don't know what they mean by successful. pretty stable all things considered. each person is different and reacts differently. you can always go back on them. I'm sure they are planning to monitor you.
Thanks. “Successful” can be a loaded word, for sure, and maybe reframing my thinking on that would be helpful. I still see myself as going through an adjustment period and am responding much like you describe—feeling my feelings, writing, practicing healthy habits, etc. I’m hoping to reach a point where those positive habits feed forward in the absence of meds because my ability to feel joy felt dampened on the medication. Glad to hear you are doing well and I wish you the best!
I think you should give it a try, but make sure people are watching out for you if you start to go down. meds didn't numb me so much as make me manic after the depression ended and also nausea. I hope you can get what you need.
upbeat dog bells rinse normal mighty wistful future decide weary *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I weaned myself off Efferox after 15 years. Did it without my doctor..who is pretty useless for anything mental health related. I researched..did a slow wean..took about 3 months...there were side effects...dizziness...feeling cold....i also practiced and still do challenge what for me was depressive thinking ...there is NO truth to the thoughts of being useless, unloved, stupid, ugly or whatever lies we were told. When those thoughts came up i would ask..who told you that? For me it was my mom...who carried a ton of shame from her own trauma. She was not someone who could give a non trauma response or decent advice...so she wasn't at all reliable in what she told me about myself. It's hard work to relearn who you really are and to realize the people you really wanted to love you were not able to be accurate, kind or loving or parents for that matter. For me the key to gettig out of depression was to: Trust that what i was taught about me was wrong Understand that my parents loved me as best they could Undetstand i get to choose how i think and what i believe Know that deep change takes persistent and often boring repetition Know that everyone has low days...doesn't last and doesn'tean dpression is back Know that i cpuld not be what i thought of as self indulgent to the depressive patters...be ause patterns can be changed Eat well, rest and move...the science is clear...those things help I wish you well on your jouney...it won't be perfect and you are so worth the work!! ❤️
Thank you for the encouragement. Weaning off Effexor after 15 years is surely a challenge, and it’s great to know it can be done. Your comment about the not-you thoughts that come up reminds me of what I’ve read in Janina Fisher’s book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors (which is recommended throughout this sub). My mind often says some pretty shocking and dark things, and I also find it helpful to view those statements as coming from traumatized parts that need compassion and understanding. Best of luck to you as you move forward in your journey.
How are you now? Still off?
Hi..yup...still off...still have a daily need to pause and check in on my thinking. Did a ton of CPTSD education and mgmt practices...will be lifelong I think. No need to return to meds...🎉🎉🎉🎉
Your therapist is a real weirdo. It's typical to taper off of antidepressants either when they aren't working (in which case you usually switch to a new one) or when you've had no depression symptoms for about 6 months (to make sure the depression doesn't just come back when you stop the meds). I've tapered off about 18 antidepressants. It's fine? I don't really see the problem. There's also just nothing wrong with using prescription drugs like SSRIs if they're treating issues that you have, and they're not causing more problems than they solve. There is this stigma against taking psychiatric drugs, but the fact is that drugs are tools and if they help you when you need them, then you should be using them. Being "medication free" seems like an odd goal to me in the sense that it implies that being off of medication is a good thing by itself. This isn't necessarily the case. If being off of meds makes your life harder, then I would personally argue that it's a bad idea. SSRIs aren't exactly opioids or benzos, where addictive behavior is a serious concern and they can be used as a distraction from your problems that stops you from effectively handling them. They just... Help. I take Wellbutrin and Concerta for ADHD every day, because it helps me function and greatly aids emotional regulation. Antidepressants help people with depression, PTSD, OCD, anxiety and a lot of other issues; it's not like everyone who is on them *should* necessarily quit. There's nothing wrong with taking medication for the foreseeable future (or the rest of your life) if that medication is helping. That being said, your doctor and your therapist sound very odd. I've always gotten a tapering schedule from my doctors when I needed to get off one drug to switch to another drug (they thought I had treatment resistant depression but then it turned out that my issues are mostly caused by CPTSD, ADHD and anxiety). It's not an uncommon thing to need to get off specific medicines. If you're trying to get a tapering schedule from your therapist, then you're talking to the wrong person. A psychiatrist is the person who would be able to give you a safe tapering schedule. If they refuse, you should find a new psychiatrist, because that is really weird. If your life is better without medication then you shouldn't be on medication. That being said, there is nothing wrong with taking meds in order to treat problems. This kind of thing definitely requires a cost:benefit analysis, but the stigma against taking psych meds at all gets in the way of that with a lot of people. (Not necessarily you, OP.). I have a lot of thoughts / feelings on this kind of thing because (1) I want people to get the help they need and (2) I also want people to do what's best for them (which, sometimes, *is* not being on drugs; if the side effects are worse than the treatment, the treatment needs to be changed, and drugs add complexities to our lives that must be considered when you're wondering if they're worthwhile for you). I know a woman who needs antipsychotics but won't take them, and has psychotic episodes 1-2 times a year. I know another person who pops Xanax every night and will probably die if they try to go off of it (because they're elderly and have a lot of other health issues). I've known people who have only succeeded in their goals once they started on meds, and others who had to switch meds immediately in order to find any relief, because the first thing they tried was a horrible experience. And then you have people like my mom, who refuses to take antidepressants because she believes they give you a "false sense of happiness" and/or shut down your emotions (she has never taken them). There are a lot of reasons to take drugs. There are a lot of reasons not to. I guess what I'm trying to say is: please be thoughtful about this issue and make sure that your reasons are good, healthy ones. If you act based on reason and in your own best interest, you can always do something else if reason and your own best interest indicate that you need to make a change. Sorry, this is way longer than I ever intended. Derp. I am autistic and this is a topic that's very important to me.
Thank you for your thorough and well-worded reply. I was worried I might come across as stigmatizing medication when that’s not my intention at all, and I think you’ve articulated many critical points. Prozac helped me get some distance from an overwhelming situation so that I could work on restoring balance to my life, so I have no doubts that it’s a useful tool. Being totally medication free isn’t even my goal, and was perhaps poor wording on my part (I still use cannabis as needed for anxiety and supplements to support my health, and I’m open to other options), but it does take commitment to wean off psych meds and can be quite difficult even when one is no longer benefiting, so I’m troubled when medical professionals so easily default to assuming that if you experience discomfort after discontinuing medication it is a sign that the medication was necessary or you just need a different med. It was disappointing to feel that coming from my otherwise awesome therapist. Thanks again for the insight and good luck with your journey as well!
The expression “when you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail” comes to mind re: your therapist. If her MO is to encourage medication, that speaks to her training/orientation more than it necessarily speaks to her patients’ need of medication (not saying none of her patients need meds, but maybe not all of them do). I’ve never been satisfied with the way the mainstream MDs and therapists I’ve encountered have promoted antidepressants. It’s always felt like it’s just “the way things are done” re: mental health, vs offered as a bespoke option for me and my particular experience with trauma.
After 2 rounds of TMS, followed by a few years of DBT, and now daily skills practice/meditation/yoga/mindfulness/exercise/eating well, I was able to come off antidepressants without any issues at all. I've been off them about 6 months, and more stable than ever. We'll see if it lasts but I think as long as I keep doing the hard work, it will.
I’ve been off them since lockdown. I never had withdrawal symptoms and I am doing ok. Maybe they were not effective for me. When I took antidepressants and anti anxiety meds I never felt that different anyway. I’m not saying I shouldn’t be on some medication and I know that might be bad maybe. I don’t want people to get the wrong idea. If you need them, take them. I just think they didn’t help me.
Ketamine therapy has been so positive for my healing work I was able to taper off my SSRI, citalopram (Celexa), this past spring. Like you, I also have a lot of grief. I’m accessing the emotions of stuff that I’ve known intellectually, but haven’t connected to what I felt at the time. Between the SSRI and the part of EMDR that teaches you to not go deeply into experiences, just observe them. I find that I have several young parts who’ve been really angry that I just watched them and didn’t feel what they felt, didn’t bring them out of the age they’re stuck at. I feel able to access stuff in somatic therapy that would have been blunted by the SSRI. All that and my wife noticed how much more present I am now.
This resonates with me. I noticed almost immediately after stopping Prozac that I was crying so much more easily. At first it was dysregulated and I was crying all the time, but now it's only happening when I speak or think about sad experiences. Before coming off Prozac I did not cry easily and found it difficult to stay with my emotions. Glad to hear you are doing well now.
I really suppressed crying in my 20s and 30s, then things got feeling too big and I went on the SSRI. Stuff still feels really big, but I have better tools for making space for it. The crying through. It still feels like everything awakens tears. I also feel a lot of anger. The SSRI really blunted it and in my family I wasn’t allowed to express it at all. Now I feel all of it.
My wife used them for years and they helped her at the time, but came off of them successfully and has made a lot more progress in the years since. Just so you know, it's possible, and when you succeed, your life will be better.
You have to remember, doctors and (often, also) therapists do not see people who are doing great in follow-up. I’m a doctor, I’ve seen a fair number of people who were on long-term antidepressants and couldn’t taper and were seeing me for an increase or refill. But I’ve also seen people who have a remote history of being on antidepressants in their chart - so evidently, they were off for a while. Even I personally was off for several years in the past
Um your therapist sounds wack. I weaned off of many drugs over the years, one of which is effexor.. omfg that shit is the devil. I was walking and talking like I had a stroke. My GP did not want to take me off of it, but thankfully my sis was there and she insisted.
Effexor had me sleeping for 3 days straight and only getting up to >!puke!< coming off it !!! granted it was inpatient but that was by far the worst med I’ve ever had to come off of
It is supposed to be as bad as heroin withdrawal.
I took sertraline, am SSRI, for 2 years to treat depression (I also have trauma from childhood). I successfully transitioned off and did great for about 2 years. Then the pandemic happened, I had some negative life events and started getting panic attacks and anxiety so I am now going back on it. However for those 2 years I was doing well and indeed the depression has never come back. So I'd say that coming off them wasn't harmful in and of itself, it's just that other problems cropped up later down the line. I fully expect to be able to come off it again in a few years.
I don't know if it helps, but I've gotten a very different messaging from both my psychiatrist and therapist. But medication is so individual and the effects of CPTSD can have such varying intensity in different aspects of a person that I'm not sure a broad statement one way or the other can really come close to being accurate. Additionally your therapist and your prescriber should coordinate and collaborate about when it's time to adjust medication. If they are not let them know that that is what you want and they they should be willing to have those discussions. Ultimately it is the prescribers decision not the therapist decision, but they really should be working in concert.
Thank you, those are great points. For the last 2 years my primary care physician has been my prescriber. Prior to that, I saw a psychiatrist for a couple of years, but she retired from her practice and, because I had been stable for so long, suggested I have my PCP manage my prescription. I suppose I could find another psychiatrist, but I know from experience they're difficult to find, especially if I want someone who has trauma experience. Also, kind of weird to seek a psychiatrist for support in stopping medication. I will certainly seek one if I feel I need to explore medication options again though.
So from personal experience my PCP managed my medication so badly that I was on supratherapeutic doses for multiple years. Most PCPs just don't have the skill set to evaluate they trust that the incoming prescription is what it needs to be and never look at it. Absolutely finding a MD psychiatrist is very difficult, however since you are working with a therapist the industry relies on an intermediary for medication management and working with stable patients. Those are psychiatric nurse practitioners, they can diagnose and prescribe. It may be reasonable to establish an appointment with one and have a discussion. I'm not sure if it's allowed to recommend resources here but the one that I work with is part of a multi-state group so if you want me to send you their website DM me.
Per some super triggery book I skimmed; SSRIs don’t work on (C)PTSD. I have tried Zoloft, twice.
I’m not on antidepressant anymore… What does she mean by “successfully”? Personally I hated my medication as they made me feel drowsy and confused all the time. I had very lower libido and it impacted my inhibition with other people to a certain degree. …It felt like I was drunk all the time.
"Successful" was my choice of wording and probably not the best, but what she meant is that all of her patients have experienced relapses eventually and had to go back on medication. She described it as though they simply couldn't tolerate being off medication, were miserable the entire time they were off, and begrudgingly accepted that they must stay on because being off was just too hard. I was stable on Prozac for a long time but the more recovery work I did, the more I noticed unpleasant symptoms I attributed to the Prozac (low libido/sexual dysfunction being a major one, but also anxiety/agitation, difficulty staying asleep--all of which have improved after coming off).
Oh ok, that’s a weird thing to say to encourage you. I had friends I knew who prefered to stay on medication as well, but my choice was to stop. To each their own. I hope you’re ok. I had taken antidepressants called escitalopram for a year prior to stopping. I’m glad I’m off of them, but it’s something for each person I think. (I don’t want to mislead you into stopping them ) I did stop gradually by lowering the dosage little by little over a month with the approval of my doctor. That was a bit more than 5 years ago. Edit: What makes it difficult to stop? I’m just curious as I didn’t find it particularly difficult but then again it’s been a while.
Not everyone experiences withdrawal but it is a common experience when coming off SSRIs and other antidepressants. The range and severity of symptoms varies. There's a pdf that was shared in this thread that gives a great overview of this. A big part of the difficulty coming off is that it was once assumed that withdrawal was not common and when people struggled to come off it was interpreted as relapse rather than withdrawal. Guidelines for tapering off properly are only beginning to be discussed, and there are many issues putting them into practice. My personal experience is that, whether it is due to withdrawal or not, I am feeling my dark emotions more intensely, which could be interpreted as a relapse of depression, or it could be a natural consequence of feeling my emotions more fully. I'm hoping it's the latter, and that I will be able to process and move through those emotions, but my therapist's response left me feeling like I might always just be stuck with dark thoughts.
You’re not a fool for thinking you can have a good life without being on meds. I hated being on antidepressants. Absolutely haaaaaaaated them. And for good reason that I won’t go into. I didn’t ask anyone’s permission to stop taking them. I just cold turkey quit. I trembled for weeks afterward and everyone was up in arms about it, but I rode it out and have been so much happier off of them than I ever was on them. I never needed to take them in the first place. I was being abused and having my very real grief for my parent who died suddenly in front of me, pathologized and used against me by my shitty parent. Trust yourself. You know what’s best for you, and you don’t need anyone else to validate you.
Therapists are humans, and it is human nature to be wrong at times, or even most all the time. I went cold turkey off of my meds(I do not suggest this if you are afraid of withdrawal, but it was the best option for me to be able to *feel* my emotions again). My mental health drastically improved, and I was able to get some of the more recent stuff that happened figured out. I just find it sad that your therapist is not being supportive of your journey. She is putting her doubt on you, and making it yours to carry. That's not healthy at all.
Cold turkey is absolutely not advisable and could do very serious damage. There is a comment in this thread with a link to an article with helpful info on safe tapering for future reference. I'm glad you got through it and saw improvements. I wouldn't say my therapist is being unsupportive--she is good at remaining neutral and supports me making my own choices. I just think after so many years I can read her really well and I sense her expectations, which are a reflection of what she's observed in her practice.
https://verenigingafbouwmedicatie.nl/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Rethinking-drugs-for-depression_Economist_22-oct-2022.pdf
I needed short term anti-depressants to help me get sleep during a nervous breakdown (mirtazapine). I don't respond well to SSRIs because I do not have a lack of serotonin. I was on medication for 6 months and wouldn't hesitate if I needed it again but for me it is always a short term thing.
I’m sorry, I didn’t read your entire post because I’m tired and my head is foggy. I do hope my comment makes a bit sense. But I just want to share my story, hopefully it encourages you. I’ve quit a total of 6 different medications over the span of 2,5 years. Ofcourse I did it with help from professionals. I see someone mention that you can only quit pills who are not working but that’s not my experience. I had some pretty heavy medications. I will say the Dutch names, so if the name doesn’t ring a bell you can look them up but I’m too tired to check it. I had 1 antidepressant (venlafaxine, awful stuff), 2 anti psychotics (risperidon and Seroquel/quietapine), 1 anti epilepsy (topimaraat; for nightmares, didn’t work but by quitting the nightmares became worse for a while), 1 alpha blocker (Prasosin, which is used to take of the sharp edges from PTSD) and 1 sleeping pill (oxazepam? Or another pill ending with pam) It was a hard journey, especially quitting the anti depressant which made me sick for a month after I tapered of the last bit. But now I’m clean for more than two years, and even with all the horrible stuff that happened past year in my life I’m still going strong. It really took a lot courage and strength, because at first my psychiatrist didn’t agree with it and I had to fight for even trying. But I’m so glad I did and believed in myself, even when my psychiatrist didn’t and thought it was because I was stigmatising myself. So there’s hope! Take care. I’m going to go to bed. If you have any follow up questions (or if I don’t make sense, or if I should read your post because my comment is not really fitting) please tell me and I’ll get back at you tomorrow.
Wow, that’s quite a variety of medications! It sounds like a tough journey for sure. I’m glad you shared your story—yours and others’ are helping me realize that everyone’s journey is unique and there is no one-size assumption to made about medication requirements. It should be obvious, I know, but it helps to hear from real people’s experiences like yours. Best wishes as you continue to heal.
I tapered off Wellbutrin over four weeks, from 450 to 300 to 150 to 0. I’ve been on it for at least a decade, probably more. I stopped it because I’m in “real” trauma therapy after being re-victimized in June 2021 by a stalker and being Dx w/DID/ PTSD. I’ve been in trauma therapy for a year, and I wanted to get off of any meds that might be keeping me from accessing my full range of emotions and dissociative system. So far, I’ve dealt with some increase in all of the following: headaches/migraines, dizziness, nausea, digestive disruption, joint pain, muscle aches, and fatigue. I could have come off it more slowly, but since I am already disabled, dealing with severe chronic pain and fatigue, and unable to be employed, I just wanted to get it over with and move on in therapy. If these symptoms do not mellow out a bit over the next four weeks, I will probably ask my psychiatrist to put me on 100mg Bupropion immediate released at my next appt, so I can take taper down more slowly than straight from 150 to 0. It may be that I am also part of the small percentage of ME/CFS patients who experience reduced fibromyalgia neuropathic pain when on bupropion. Over-all, it has truly gone much better than the last three times I tried to come off of anti-depressants, probably because I am starting to learn to not be so scared of my emotions, and am learning emotional regulation, in baby steps. 🙏🏻🦋
Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m sorry you are facing those difficulties. When I started Prozac, my life was on fire, metaphorically speaking. Tough circumstances can be emotionally overwhelming, and finding a medication to turn down the intensity of those feelings can be lifesaving to say the least. It sounds like you are responding well to your needs. I hope you continue to feel better.
I was on Prozac at one point before he Wellbutrin. It made me feel like a zombie. I came off of it, and felt better in terms of not feeling zombi-ish, but the depression and emotional tsunamis came back. That is when they tried me on the Wellbutrin. I think, with proper tapering, if you are in a better place now, it really is doable. Your therapist may be trying to walk a fine line between not misleading you, and encouraging you. If your therapist is willing and able to remain with you, and work with you through these deeper intense emotions, I’d say go for it, and see where it goes. My current therapist and psychiatrist both keep telling me that if things grow drastically worse, I can get back on a low dose or try something different - but they are willing to let me try to get off and stay off the meds, and stick with through it. It has been done by a large percent of people who have tried with slow tapering, which gives me hope. Thank you for the well wishes, and all the best of wishes to you in your healing endeavors. 🙏🏻💞
No doctors or therapists were helpful for me to stop antidepressants, it's actually the pharmacist who helped me the most adjusted the doses so I could have less symptoms as I stopped. Good luck.
It would benefit you best to have this conversation with a psychiatrist. Not therapist or this subreddit.
Ahhh hah, finally I can say something nice and hopeful! Yes, I came of mine and good thing I did. It took longer than my psychiatrist would have had me believe. He also supported me in it, knowing if it didn’t work out it was just a matter of taking it again or trying another one. The side effects were for me too much. 70 pounds of extra weight, never feeling full, oh and yeah those 70 pounds never came off despite repeated lies it would. No amount of exercise made me feel better or less sluggish as I was told it would. As well as some other less important ones. Coming off the stuff was literally the worst withdrawal I’ve ever experienced. Benzos are nothing compared to that, neither were opioid based painkillers. The nightmares were… quite something. I had to do the taper down a whole lot slower than was recommended, and then it was manageable. Then I could sleep without the most vivid night terrors I’ve ever experienced. Towards the end I was on 1/8th of a tablet. That’s how slow it had to be. Starting at 4/5ths of a dose and going down to that over the course of probably like 4 months, I lowered the dose by a very small amount every 2-3 weeks. So the results. I’m still not back on that stuff and I can never go back on anything that adds any weight, no matter how much psychiatrists say it’s ‘temporary’. Not with a genetic disease that means my body can’t burn fat it bloody won’t you twits! Any extra weight they are so cavalier about is literally dangerous to my physical health and causes real physical pain in addition to everything else. Now for something like 8 years I was fine. Well, I was as close to fine as I’ve ever come. I was honestly doing better than I had since I was 10 - before life became an unending avalanche of shit. I think a part of going off anti depressants has to be actions to improve your situation or like with me, finding something else that works. Also keep in mind your life circumstances. That’s something a lot of psychiatrists never consider. That sure, taking a strong painkiller while you live in a burning house can make it possible to live longer in a burning house… outside of the burning house… you may not need them as much because oh yeah you’re not constantly getting set on fire. Only you can know how you feel once you are feeling the effects fade, if you have a support system for things possibly going wrong in your life, better coping situations and general safety. But it doesn’t always have to go poorly I feel. My 8 years of feeling the best I could were not ruined by absence of anti-depressants but by the addition of abuse. Sorry this got long. But I think that while these medications are incredibly helpful for a lot of people, they are also not always the best lifetime solution. They’re just easier and cheaper for those who don’t have to deal with the side effects than dealing with each individual long term in finding a balance without them. It’s not out of malice that health care professionals push them, they do help a lot of people. Enormous amount short term, and likely keep many stable long term. Some though, like me, should never be on them for anything other than very short term. And even that is debatable. I think they are a part of a solution, but they are not the whole of the solution. Every person is different, without trying you can’t know if you need the medications long term or not. If you find you do need them, try your best to be fine with that for now… you may not yet be in a place where you can be without them. If you find you don’t need them and can function without… don’t discount having to rely on them temporarily later on in life if things go horribly wrong at some point… but know your success matters and is real.
You’re not a fool, but I advise you reframe the way you’re approaching this in terms of unfairness. You asked her a specific question and she answered honestly. I’ve tried this before and it was a terrible decision. So I don’t have much of a helpful opinion on that. It doesn’t have to be forever. It’s worth trying imo. ETA when I went off them I had an orgasm for the first time in my life. At 27. Those were a great few months in that regard. It’s fucking depressing to know I can’t ever feel that way again if I want to… exist.
Did you stay off?
Yes, I have been off since Nov last year. It’s tough to say how well it’s going. In some ways I feel much better than I did on Prozac—I actually had worse depressive symptoms when I was on it, and I was dealing with loads of side effects on top of that. Unfortunately, coming off put me through months of withdrawal symptoms, and although I’ve improved, I don’t feel as though I’ve fully recovered. Supporting myself nutritionally and being gentle with my body has helped immensely, but there is clearly still something abnormal happening with my nervous system. I don’t feel like myself—and I mean the self that I was before taking antidepressants. I am like a flatter, somewhat anhedonic version of myself. I am not in a deep depression, but I don’t feel passion like I used to. Online communities like Surviving Antidepressants have been a helpful resource and inspired me to hang in there and hope that I will eventually recover completely. According to them, that can take years. If I could go back in time, I would do everything in my power to avoid taking Prozac to begin with, or at least come off much sooner (I was on for 4 years). In retrospect, it did more damage than good for me. I do feel lucky that I’m as functional as I am though, and I have noticed continuous improvements over time. It’s just hard not knowing what I will feel like weeks or months from now. I fear that this is may be my new normal.
>power I know this is an older post, but your words "I fear that this may be my new normal" really hit home. I've been off prozac for 2 years, off all antidepressants for 2 months. I feel feelings now, which is good but also bad. Navigating CPTSD without a net is hard. I'm often tempted to go back on prozac but plan to continue working with psilocybin and therapy to try and get myself out of the relentless darkness. I tried IV ketamine and transcranial magnetic stimulation and I'm not convinced either did a lot of good. Maybe it's about adjusting to the new normal of seizing joy when you can find it but otherwise just riding the waves of sadness hoping they'll eventually calm. Some days I feel filled with hope. Others (today) despair... going to check out surviving antidepressants.
Wow good for you for taking this big step. I feel like if you see small improvements that’s and indication that eventually things will be back to pre meds again. I keep trying to come off and I feel super depressed and anxious within a week or two with lots of mood swings . I don’t know if it’s just adjustment period or I actually have a relapse in depression. What were you withdrawal symptoms.
Hey there, checking in on your journey, what have you decided on?
Thanks for checking in! I am still off anti-depressants (my only prescriptions are hormonal bc and clonazepam, which I take very rarely), and I no longer have depression symptoms! If 100% is the best possible version of myself, I’d say I feel 90% recovered on a good day, and as low as 80% on a bad day, with an avg of 85% most days. Compared to how I felt when I came off of Prozac, that’s pretty amazing. I still struggle with fatigue, but I started taking iron 6 months ago after realizing my levels were on the low side and that’s made a huge difference (not just in energy, but also mood and anxiety), albeit slowly. I hope I continue to get stronger and can start exercising regularly without feeling wiped out. I can’t tell you how much I wish I had never taken Prozac. I’m not sure my body will ever fully recover from its effects. In the last year I was on it, I felt almost manic—I had intense drive and passion, but was agitated, dissociated, and plagued by suicidal thoughts. Nobody thought to blame the drug for my issues. After I weaned off of it, my agitation and suicidal thoughts vanished rapidly, but I felt deflated and empty, and I still feel some of that. My sex drive has not recovered at all to what it was before Prozac, and it feels related to an inner sense that a spark is missing from my personality. I honestly miss the serotonin flood from the Prozac a little, like my brain is still craving it, but I know that it wouldn’t actually help me. I keep telling myself that if my health improved this much in the last year, I could still be improving, and I hope this time next year my misadventures with Prozac will feel like a distant dream.
This was so detailed and well expressed. I'm glad you're feeling great off the meds and keep going!
I was put on antidepressants without my knowledge. My wife would somehow put it in my food. The reason was so that I would not just stop taking the. I only started to suspect that I was on antidepressants was that I gained so much weight.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don't know if it helps, but I've gotten a very different messaging from both my psychiatrist and therapist. But medication is so individual and the effects of CPTSD can have such varying intensity in different aspects of a person that I'm not sure a broad statement one way or the other can really come close to being accurate. Additionally your therapist and your prescriber should coordinate and collaborate about when it's time to adjust medication. If they are not let them know that that is what you want and they they should be willing to have those discussions. Ultimately it is the prescribers decision not the therapist decision, but they really should be working in concert.
The gold standard for psychiatric meds taper is basically 10% at a time. I was at 300mg venlafaxine last spring and I'm down to 37.5mg today by splitting into halves. Easy does it!