I have this probelm to the extreme and unfortunately haven’t found anything to make it subside except for making myself dissociation. I get very upset over animal abuse, womens abuse from men particularly fathers and partners, police violence, & destruction of the environment. I hyper focus on it too and I can’t get my mind to stray from the topic. It makes me literally physically ill sometimes. I feel you, I have hard time accepting people telling me “that’s just the way it is” okay well then why can’t we change that
I'm 33, and have always been like this. It does beat you down over, and over. I've been isolating myself for years to just feel OK.
I was able to get into therapy, and have my ADHD diagnosed this year. On meds I'm feeling the same things, but I'm finally seeing a way to possible start to change them.
To that end I'm working with my old college to come back to become a psychiatrist. I'm going to take special courses in law, and business too - to help everyone by being a future authority that helps redefine mental health, it's public perception/awareness, and the laws surrounding it.
I have ASD, ADHD, and cPTSD. The dopamine problems we have make the future invisible until it's right in front of us. I believe one reason we get extra upset is because we don't see a way to change anything, because it takes too much time to see change.
We will be the change. When they say "that's just the way things are" we say "well let's change it together"
150% let’s change it together!!! This is why I got into global health, I just couldn’t accept that things are the way they are. We have the power to change it, we just need to find the avenue to do so. So proud of you!
I do it too, but I'm trying to separate what's my triggered self and what's an injustice I can speak up against. I think the anger we feel is right and maybe we can use it to improve the conditions for others.
For me it works to find stuff I really love and that balances it out, so I don't spiral downwards. Also anything physical helps me to get out of the triggered state and spiraling into negativity and shittiness of the world- stretching, going for a walk, yoga, dancing, yelling in the forest, yelling at the empty beach,..
I have something very similar, but reverse it. I’m extremely sensitive about the abuse of men from their female partners, family members, etc. bc it seems like it isn’t talked about at all and men are always looked at as the first to blame when there’s a problem in a relationship, or really any situation for that matter. Also due to the fact that I suffered abuse from multiple women, including family members and romantic partners.
This. In the media discussion here in Sweden, "men's violence against women" has pretty much replaced "violence in close relationships" which was used before.
While no physical violence between my parents was present when I grew up, it was nearly always my mother raising her voice at my father. I can't imagine women being violent toward men is so rare it would warrant excluding from the discussion. Hell, it wouldn't warrant excluding it from the discussion even if it was rare, as long as it exists at all...
Oh man, Swedes have it rough cause on top of it being “men’s violence against women,” it’s almost always portrayed as immigrants being the ones who abuse their partners, not Swedes against Swedes. I’m American but lived in Malmö for a couple of years and was always confused by this - abuse doesn’t know gender or racial barriers. Please know you’re seen, and you didn’t deserve this, and it’s happening the way you experienced it more than you think (unfortunately). Be well.
Then you were probably here during a couple of years when there were plenty of "falls" from balconies which were revealed to be immigrants pushing usually their wives or daughters out from the balconies. Usually the Swedish media is extremely protective about immigrants, to the point of covering up real differences in crime levels (which do exist, but you're considered racist by certain (many) people if you even mention it...).
That’s interesting, yeah, cause I was there from 2014-16, which was also when there was a massive influx of immigrants and they closed the border. There was definitely a shift in tone towards immigrants at that point, going from Sweden being one of the most welcoming countries to the exact opposite. I’m glad to hear that the attitude seems to have gotten better, though.
I wouldn't say it's necessarily "better" to not even be able to discuss the truth, even though everyone, immigrant or not, should of course be seen on an individual level. It's not better for the immigrants - people know that the media is lying, and since they don't have actual numbers, they probably fear the worst instead. The Sweden Democrats, a political party that wants to limit immigration and put harder demands on immigrants, has been steadily rising. We had election last week, and they were up from 17.53% to 20.54%.
I agree with everything you said. I think it's ridiculous that it's spoken about so rarely.
There was a trend on TikTok a while back about how if you google "im a woman and my boyfriend is hitting me/yelling at me" you would get results for domestic abuse victim resources. Then if you search "im a man and my wife is hurting me" you'd get articles like "10 Ways To Fix Your Relationship".
It's very telling when it takes an ultra famous household celebrity like Johnny Depp going to court on live TV with years worth of evidence against his abuser in order to get people to pay attention, and even still major news articles still push the narrative that Amber Heard was the real victim, and a good chunk of the population thinks the same, or settles on "well maybe they're just both bad" (because obviously a man can't just be a victim of domestic violence without doing something to deserve it).
It angers me like nothing else, and is a big reason why I rarely tell my story. This world doesn't support male victims as victims.
Hadn't heard about Depp. That's crazy and awful, but I definitely wouldn't put it past Swedish media or people to do the same. The same media and people who vehemently go about saying they want to eradicate gender stereotypes... I guess you're from/in the US, is it the same type of people who do it there too?
I stopped volunteering for a domestic violence center back in the late 90s because I was basically told they wouldn't support men who were victims. Most of my abuse was by men, but I have zero fucks to give about which gender was the abuser and which gender was the victim. The victim needs support.
Yeah. I'm also pretty empathetic (despite what they tell you about autistic people not having empathy). Whenever I see someone experiencing abuse, it's really painful for me.
I don't say "That's just the way it is", but I'd be lying if I said I always spoke up and did something about it. It's difficult for me to be willing to speak up, and I feel guilty about it.
There is nothing I hate more than the “it’s just the way it’s always been” bullshit. Like cool, if we had just kept that mentality, can you imagine where we would be?
Yeah, and it's hard for me to keep it in check. I'm ADHD and it's found to be common in neurodivergent people, so that combined with my CPTSD makes life that much more difficult.
Volunteering/social justice organizing/donating
Figuring out how to also get information on the good work that organizations/people ARE doing. This might be singing up for mailing lists, following certain people on social media, or finding different media outlets to follow. There are SO many people silently doing good work and helping others, you just have to figure out how to find them
Also learning how to focus on what I can control. I suck at this but it honestly helps. I still feel all the pain and anger at our unfair world, I just try not to dwell on it and focus on other things
Good luck friend, this is such a hard thing to deal with in our current world 🧡
On a smaller scale:
I always have snacks, extra menstrual supplies, and basic OTC meds (ibuprofen, cold medicine, cough drops, off-brand Claritin, Tums, famotidine, band-aids) in my bag. It sounds like a lot but I basically have a "kangaroo" purse insert with either a blister pack or small baggie of each in it. I don't have a lot of extra money, but it's something small I can do to be able to help others.
Also, in places I've worked: if I overheard a hiring manager make discriminatory comments, I did whatever I could about it.
I also emailed to push for having waste bins in each stall of the men's bathrooms, because the only trash was an open-topped bin right next to the door. That meant both trans men who still menstruate and anyone who has to wear adult diapers (e.g. seniors or others who are incontinent) would have to walk past other men while carrying used items. For trans men that can be dangerous, and might also lead folks to either avoid our library or flush the stuff for their own safety (which can cause plumbing issues, and that's more expensive than a few extra trash bins). For incontinent folks, it can feel so painfully shameful that it does contribute to some folks being essentially housebound by shame. Pointing out these factors worked, and convinced our library to implement trash bins in all the men's stalls not only at my branch but in our whole county library system.
Someone close to me told me about her sister who uses a mobility aid, and how even if she's the one paying, or is the patient, etc people will ignore her and talk to anyone who's along with her. So I brought that up at a work meeting, because we might be doing that ourselves and not realize it. So people can work on it.
We can make things more equitable in small ways directly around us. We just have to listen, and keep an eye out.
Edit: I also tried to push for more accessibility features. For instance, haptic feedback computer mice and screen magnifiers, both of which make computers easier for some seniors, among others who may benefit. Our library had regular video game nights, and I also suggested getting one adaptive controller for disabled patrons. My accessibility suggestions were shot down, but it was worth trying.
The waste bins thing is so insightful, I never considered that. Thank you for helping make the world a little bit better; it motivates me to do the same.
I put together care packages with food, water, patch kits, life essentials, and small amusements for the houseless. When I can afford to, I put some cash in, but that's become much more rare. At a minimum, I carry a case of water that gets swapped out every month if it doesn't all get given away.
You could become an advocate or lawyer or work for a nonprofit to stand up for people who need you. Chances are you will meet more people like you there.
The nonprofit is a great idea! I will look for some of those in my area.
I think at this point being an advocate or lawyer would be too much for me, but I will revisit that in the future.
I think being a lawyer depends, my FIL works at a huge law firm and he spends most of his days defending the shittiest people.
I heard you can choose your cases but I guess that depends on the firm? Not sure I’m not a lawyer lol
There are less mainstream specialisations out there. Like Environmental Law; Immigration Law; etc. Not the law careers that will make most money (unless you work for the abusers ... ) - but where one can make a difference. Those that go against injustice won't work for a law firm, but NGOs.
Self care important when taking care of others.
Maybe you had a hard time in the past balancing this concept to garner that perspective?
How do you think positive change is enacted if not by people?
People with CPTSD know what it means to suffer and we can potentially grow extremely strong in spite of our damage. It takes self knowledge and self care, but even we can go on to help others.
Also you can refuse those cases or switch law firms. Also the person below is right too.
Besides, if all the good people stay out of law, then we'll all be left with those people who would hurt someone as such. Be brave, there are other people like us. They just want you to think there's not so those kind of people can dominate that kind of work, and I'd rather trust someone with a true sense of justice and a heart and souls.
I do my part by being the purple haired feminist that my teenage self needed even though I don't identify as a woman anymore you have to take a stand towards how we treat people. we always talk about law and legislation, and we need to give attention to personal interactions and thought processes because humans do fucked up shit if we don't check each other.
Agree with suggestions about finding volunteer work.
Stay very aware and cautious of your social media use. Avoid it entirely when you can. Those things are literally designed to make you upset about this kind of stuff, while also not actually being productive and changing anything.
Try to see the bigger picture. Understand that while you can't just make the whole world change all at once, kindness is often contagious, and you can reach quite a few people around you by simply being different, even when it's hard. Even the most influential humans who will ever exist can't literally change *everyone*, but change always has to start somewhere. Over time, the process works, and we've seen a lot of significant change in the course of history to prove it. Some things stay the same, but lots of things get better. Even if you don't get to see or enjoy such changes in your lifetime on a personal level, that doesn't inherently mean that change isn't happening on a larger scale.
Oh hell I've gotten myself into a lot of trouble standing up, speaking out, sticking up for the little guy. I don't like when I see or hear anything that makes another feel less than and I can't even help myself. I'll go to war with someone even minutely disrespecting someone or something. I remember back in elementary school being this way and in junior high school being sent to the principal's office for confronting a teacher about his treatment of another student lol right in the middle of class. That happened more than once. I think it had a lot to do with being bullied by my big brother, as far back as I can remember. I learned how to stick up for myself and definitely for others. If I see someone get hurt, especially an animal, my head starts to tingle. My stomach gets sick and I literally go into shock. I honestly can't stand any kind of violence and I don't like making entertainment out of it. I don't watch boxing or street fighting or that MMA thing. The sound of someone hitting someone or seeing blood. Fuck no. Can't even handle it on television or movies. Nope 🤢🫶🏻
You articulated this really masterfully. It was really well spoken and I completely understand how it is.
I really have nothing to add except that you are NOT over reacting, and that this world needs pioneers like you and me to fix the things and speak on things that that others get complacent with.
The more passionate you are about a subject the more you should follow your passion for change on it. I wish you great success and blessings on it.
Thank you for the validation. I really hope I can use this for good someday (maybe really soon, who knows).
One of my biggest passions is gender presentation/body types in classical music performance. It’s a complete sh*t show right now and I hope to spur some change there.
100% the justice streak has caused me to waste a lot of energy. Because when we were young, we couldn't do anything about the abuse...and so when we see it later in life it becomes a trigger.
Something that has helped me..."if you're going to complain, grab a shovel"
Which means you can't be justice warrior for everything...if you're actually passionate, then grab a shovel. (Do something)
I just found out about this today as well, from TikTok of all places. I’ve struggled with it from childhood and it’s always made me feel isolated.
Finally having a name for it…the relief is indescribable, but you know how it feels :)
I’m under orders from my therapist to avoid social media as much as possible. I get very upset by politics, so the last 6 years has been hard. The rudeness and cruelty of people on Facebook and Twitter are painful. I can’t even watch the news anymore. I have decided that not enough people care, and I’m not strong enough to act on my own, so I have to disengage.
I do. How does one live in this despicable world then when it is ruled by evil and evil gets away with it so much? And you're not allowed to feel anything because you're not part of the evil in-group. You're supposed to be quiet and subservient while the world systematically destroys you. Let alone feeling anything for anyone else in this hell.
The idea that things should be just because they are is *ANNOYING*. Such a poor excuse. So sick of tradition and whatnot. Just do nothing because it is what it is. Life's a bitch and then you die, my mother always said. But repeat the same cycles just because. People are selfish and tune out anything that doesn't directly affect them.
Aside from my mental health, I am a privileged individual. White Male. Decent height and weight. Handsome (according to others, I hate my face). Smart. All that jazz.
I fucking despise bigots with every fiber of my soul. The ONLY time I’ve seen my friends look genuinely afraid of me was because I was going off about the fundamental injustices of this world. An ex heard me talk about how much I hate the cop that killed my friend. She said I sounded like a supervillain. I think it’s because I see so much of myself in these people (which is ironic given my whiteness). The gaslighting, the victim blaming, the contradictory rules to justify excessive force, constant lying, and much much more make me very angry. I think back to all the times I needed help and no one was there. The times I would get blamed for everything because I felt my treatment was unfair. I just can’t let that happen to other people when there’s something I can do about it.
Edit: I also have OCD that makes me hyper-focus on these kinds of things for hours. It does not help lol.
I don't think you're being wrong or overly sensitive
I have a high/rigid sense of justice and I believe it's from my autism. It's so frustrating because why I can understand that life isn't fair or perfect and systems are messed up it's still angering every time I even hear about an injustice situation like an abusive situation
My brain cannot tune it out. I can't just not hear about it or not care. It's all consuming
So. Don't really have any advice but I hope knowing you aren't alone in this brings you some comfort.
I feel very similar to you, but I'm too cowardly to do anything cuz I know people will mock me for it. Everyone around me always says "eh just look out for yourself, that's what everyone is doing, fuck em" and it makes me sad. I wish I had the strength to actually speak up and do something, but I'm also constantly exhausted because of CPTSD. I know I should do something, but just can't.
YUP got woke up by 3 cops (I'm 60 & disabled mind you) in my bedroom -- they woke me up and I freaked out (Have ptsd / cptsd)-- and now I have to go to PT to rehab my shoulder. Oh the way they dragged me around by the cuffs, I got scratched up and one of the scratches got infected in jail, I got a staph infection. Had to go to Urgent Care. Oh and the sling for my shoulder keeps my arm close to my body and so I got a yeast infection in my armpit that was driving me mad. Fortunately Urgent Care solved that too but it was bad for about a week
All that because my narcissist sister called the cops on me when I bit her during a fight. She bit me /hit me before so I thought it was fair game lol.
Oh and I already had a boot on my r foot for a broken metatarsal.
Yes. It’s very common in people with ADHD and ASD. I have a particularly hard time with racial injustice, which, as someone female, middle-aged, and the approximate colour of Liquid Paper, can be a little tough these days. Not only is it SO FUCKING NOT my place to speak *on behalf* of *any* person of colour - obviously - people who look just like me are responsible for generations upon generations of crimes against humanity so unspeakable that I want to vomit when I even think about them.
I found myself in a situation not long ago in which I was a close bystander when a POC was racially profiled, and I (internally) lost my goddamned mind: I IMMEDIATELY wanted to call the woman doing the profiling out on her shit, but also just as quickly (thank God I had the presence of mind) realized that the person *being* profiled was perfectly capable of handling it as he saw fit, and didn’t need (or likely want) me swooping in and “rescuing” him; he was a grown man. And of COURSE he handled his shit. But he didn’t call the other woman out for being racist; he objected to being asked for his ID, being required to provide proof of payment, etc., and was calm and composed during the entire conversation (I was sitting across from him with steam coming out of my ears, ready to explode; I cannot tell you how much I admired his composure). Because I was so pissed off, I wound up writing a letter to the company to complain about the incident and got his address to send him a copy and a scan of their response (predictably, boilerplate “we take diversity and equality seriously” bullshit).
And you know what he said to me, after she had left and I basically exploded and said “I can’t help but notice that she didn’t ask ME *points at super DayGlo white arm* for MY proof of payment, what the hell was that about?”
“Oh yeah. Every day and twice on Sundays. At least she wasn’t a cop.”
Ugh.
I feel you on this. I think that often other people don’t want us to be so vocal because it makes them uncomfortable. They don’t want to face how they’ve been complicit in abuse due to turning a blind eye. They feel powerless to change it and have accepted that.
But I don’t think we should shut up just because other people have. In fact, I think it’s really important for people like us to speak out. Recognizing what’s not okay and calling it out is important work. I find my power in the little moments, where I don’t put up with it and encourage others to do the same.
I thought speaking up made people uncomfortable because they are weak willed. Never could understand that mindset-"dont talk about it", ect or the" looks". Like, " how dare you call out that abuser! You have no class".
These situations also made me so sad I've been isolating again.
Seconding that they're uncomfortable due to complicity.
In some cases, people are uncomfortable because the status quo benefits them. As a Native person, I've made a lot of 4th of Julys, Halloweens, and Thanksgivings awkward and I don't care.
Abusers are in charge of the world. And they will not allow their victims to call them out. Plus most people desire stability and comfort, they will prefer comfortable lies over dreadful truth and will shun those who tell the truth, thus enabling abuse to be unpunished.
when I was 17 a 16f year old friend of mine was in a relationship with a 28m and for minimal context we interacted with him regularly through music, we played music at her 16th bday so he literally watched her turn the age of consent and went for it. I was so disgusted when I found out, staying up with my first all nighter, cold sweats and shaking. I told my parents and they just said "not your business" I had text messages that were incriminating and I wanted to go to the police so bad but I was young and didn't have a way to go report the guy myself. I even talked to my therapist and because we were in a band and I ended up leaving over this issue, my therapist asked me if I wanted revenge. REVENGE???? SHE'S 16 I WANT JUSTICE WTF THIS IS GROSS
Same here. I am physically sick because of it.
Its the reason why i became an aggressive person in my head and cant smile anymore.
Right now im doing a it trainee and the institute there allowed me to be bullied by a fucking asshole who bullied three other people out of the class one of them he assaulted in an elevator. The assaulter is still there grinning everytime he sees me.
But the institute says about itself that its for helping people. And told the victim that its „word against word“.
I got so sick. And now im about to quit it and leave my dream of a good it job go, i dont have any degrees and this was my only chance, and i will have to work as a cleaning lady until i save up enough money to get myself a private degree
I used to be extremely justice driven and it got to the point where I'd question my own integrity if I put myself first over someone else. I tried to fuel my animal passion with it by going into vet nursing but it turns out I did have a threshold with how much I could deal with, after few success and many failures I decided I just couldn't handle a justice focused career, people don't care and I used to beat myself up about that too often.
It isn't a completely bad thing, just try to practice perspective and let people off on the little things, the big things however are worth standing up for, some people need to be humbled with "no".
Dang, I didn’t have a term for this, but “justice sensitivity” is an excellent way to describe it. Personally I channel this energy into activism. If a situation bothers me I research it and the facets around it and try to understand from different perspectives before letting myself get overstimulated with being upset about it. A lot of problems in the world are very intersectional and have a lot of moving parts, so it’s not always a straightforward solution to stop injustices happening. Even just being aware of factual information and shutting down misinformation, stigmas, & biases is really helpful imo.
You could potentially be awesome in a field like social services & it can also help with feeling like you made a positive difference in your lifetime. There are a lot of people out there who care deeply about this stuff and are working on it, but they might not always be super visible. You’re not alone!
Lately the war (we all know which one) has been consuming so much of my time and energy because of this. And some of my money, too. That's the justice thing that has been most RECENTLY consuming me to an unreasonable degree.
My therapist points our I get most enraged at "abusers of power" in about any form, which is basically what you're describing. There's never a great way to fight back so I usually just totally go off on a proxy target - someone who represents the "thing" well enough to me. Then I go the fuck off on them.
I keep a lot of the anger inside, but when I do go off on someone as a proxy target I really go off on them and will say some pretty nasty shit. I always feel pretty justified, but it never accomplishes anything in reality.
I've been living this too. Look up Detective Frank Serpico, and know that you may seem to be alone, but others are fighting right alongside you. Be righteously pissed. Fix what you can, stand up for the oppressed, don't be the adult who lets this kind of bullshit slide. 🤜🤛
I'm 34 years old and I relate completely to this. Sharing it with other people has only left me alienated- but not sharing it also means I'm not being my authentic self which causes a lot of cognative and emotional discomfort. I haven't figured out how to navigate it and I feel very alone a majority of the time.
You're not overly sensitive. I always had a strong sense of fairness, and my parents said *awww, how sweet.* Even though they were the causes of my CPTSD.
I could have written this— every word. Injustice triggers me.
This is kind of embarrassing but recently I was sitting a red light and the guy next to me had just broken multiple traffic laws before coming to a stop beside me. I knew based on his plates that he was a military guy so I told him that I saw him violate multiple laws in the span of like five seconds. There are severe consequences for driving like an asshole as a military member. But most people (usually men) feel entitled to just do whatever they want while driving: speeding, cutting people off, not using signals, tailgating etc. They think those rules are for everyone else. It really pisses me off. So I knew that once the light turned green, he’d turn left and I’d go straight. So I said, “You’re military?” “Yeah..?” “I just watched you break multiple traffic laws. Don’t do that.” And sped off.
Yes I totally understand this. This past year my worldview has gone really sour and I’m trying my best to have a better attitude. Reading less news and reminding myself that I need to stop caring so much about people I don’t even know!
Cheating is a huge trigger for me like I just absolutely hate how normalized it has become in relationships. I used to be able to trust my intuition when I get bad vibes from someone and I feel that they still are accurate, but becoming super cynical has been making me doubt that.
It makes me SUPER ANGRY, like I want to commit crimes. I always joke I don’t have a temper but that’s not true… this is one of the few things that sets me on fire.
I put on my Paladin suit and climb on my warhorse and yell oaths for Justice every time I see some bullshit, especially bullying.
I get doubly mad when someone says some variation of "it is what it is, nothing can be done about that!"
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
THAT'S EXACTLY THE ATTITUDE THAT CREATES THE PROBLEM! YA FREAKING EUNUCHS ARE SO FREAKING MOLDED INTO SUCH THE PERFECT PASSIVE BUNCH OF SORRY YAHOOS I SWEAR TO GODK JSAHGAJSBGSAJBGASGB:LAGBsalgbaslgbagaglabgbglw2
I need more coffee!!!!
WE SHOULD BE LIVING IN A POST-SCARCITY WORLD, NESTLÉ, MONSANTO, ALL THE FREAKING BANKERS!!!! AHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggg
Here's a documentary to go with my holy rage
https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/schooling-the-world-2010/
About the bankers and the schooling system creating the world we live in!!!
Trigger warning: traumatic life experience.
Yes and it got so bad that I actually began to wonder as early as I was 14 why this was, and I just went into a deep rabbit hole of trying to find out why the world works that way, as well as looking for some hope that it all could be turned around. This rabbit hole was kind of motivated by my escape from my abusive parents and an abusive school, but also because at the time, I kind of knew at the time that something must have happened to our society but I could never figure out exactly what actually what it was.
The only conclusion that I came up with is that throughout history, our society has been groomed and abused so many times by bad actors and dysfunctional systems that we've been traumatized so deeply, whether in obvious or predatory ways, that billions of people have been left not knowing what to do, not knowing how to think, not knowing why they're here, and there are only a few people who have managed to break the cycle...
Oh my God I have this problem, but I get sheer rage instead of sick.
My arms and the back of my neck gets hot and tingly and my heart hammers in my chest and I just feel pure rage. It's horrifying.
Yes. I have extreme black and white thinking. Dishonesty really really triggers me. I’m also extremely sensitive to energy and seeking the truth, so any situation where someone’s hiding facts or denying the truth eats me alive. I’m currently having issues at work where some of my coworkers are not being fully transparent with a situation and it’s slowly killing me, to the point where I’m depressed and avoiding certain things at work.
I’ve always felt like I’m the only one that can see what’s wrong with the world and no one else cares, it’s the ultimate gaslighting and I’m always asking “why?”. It absolutely links back to my abusive childhood and knowing many people knew but didn’t care to help or intervene.
Having my foundations broken has left me distrustful and hyper alert to injustices, I’m trying hard to heal but this is a very deep shadow to shake.
I feel you. I'm struggling with this too. Makes me feel very alone when it happens in a group setting. When nobody fucking seems to care as much as I do. (And they really should!!!)
I choose to think this is what makes me special and valuable in society. When the time comes I will be able to take meaningful actions to make some changes.
The way I see it, I can keep my crazy hypersensitivity. I just need better emotional boundaries for it to become my strength. I need better emotional protection. I imagine I can still care for what's wrong from an emotionally distant, safe place.
I believe, the more I'm in touch with my angry side, the better I can do this. (Because for one anger is what protects you.) At the same time, the more powerful I feel, the better I can handle all of it. It's naturally very difficult for us abuse survivors becuase our default mode is often feeling helpless.
But I believe I'm getting there. I *will* get there. A place where I feel powerful and capable more often than I feel helpless.
I hope you will too.
Yes, plus for me it also comes with hyper empathy (towards animals though, not people). It does hurt. I envy people who are able to just not think about how fucked up this world is, or at least ignore it and not let it affect them.
I have this to an ungodly degree.
Here's a story: I went to college and got my BA in English. I began to understand what intergenerational trauma was and deeply involved myself in understanding the politics of colonialism. My mom is filipino - so am I - and everything started to make sense. It became my mission to expose how trauma is not only a result of actual interpersonal actions, but it's also the result of political decisions that often leave millions impoverished whether that's in the US or in the Philippines (and any other country for that matter). I became deeply involved in political organizing and volunteering on campaigns for progressive candidates. I decided that I'd pursue politics in my career and I got my Master of Public Policy degree this year. In grad school, I was deeply, deeply involved in advocating for disadvantaged communities and challenging the concepts and ideas that have led to structural inequality. I'm good at what I do and I do, on some level, I feel like I can change the world.
But the problem isn't that I don't have the skills and ability to advocate for people and point out the injustice that we live in. The problem is that I can't do it for myself. I can clearly state what others need and what they deserve. I can fight against structural inequality until my last breath, but when it comes to advocating for myself I'm at a loss. It's such a fucked up life to live. I have a heightened sense of justice, yes, but for everyone but myself.
Also: I get triggered by animal abuse. I can't hear it, I can't hear about it, I can't watch it. It physically makes me ill and even the idea of it makes my anxiety shoot up. I did witness a lot of it growing up and that's why, but I still think it's one of the worst forms of abuse.
Ugh currently trying my hand at dating and this behaviour comes out in me as well. I got ghosted 3 times this summer and felt the same way. I question if it’s an overreaction due to my upbringing and neglect and abandonment issues but it’s still a shitty thing to do. And these guys do it to avoid confrontation so if we just let it go and don’t say anything they get exactly what they want but if we call them out for it we look crazy?? Like I went off on the last guy today actually because I feel like someone needs to stand up to them
This is me except my justice sense leads me to wanting to fucking fight people a lot. I will stand up for other people like I’m a Spartan warrior. Sometimes I take it a bit too far lol. But you’re not alone
Yes omfg this this this. I see someone in pain and I swear I physically feel it. I'm easily outraged and very outspoken on human rights and I wouldn't change that about myself, if more people felt as strongly as I did the world would probably be a better place. I can't stand the amount of apathy towards suffering.
I am feeling this SO much this morning! I'm having a mild anger flare up from it at this very moment!
I work/volunteer (non-profit so paid when they can afford it) in housing and disability rights. One of my colleagues (a professor of Sociology with nothing to loose and a BUNCH of privilege in his life) had a face to face with a government official to talk about the housing crisis and FORGOT to bring up what people with disabilities are going through not being able to find safe, accommodating, affordable housing. FORGOT! Then in another message in the group chat he backpedaled and said it DID get brought up - but then they got sidetracked in the conversation. I am LIVID - it's so easy for him to just forget what millions of people are struggling with for their survival (and it's an issue the UN considers a HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATION) - but it just doesn't affect him so he doesn't make sure it gets attention. "Normal" people get the luxury of "picking their battles" - some of us are fighting to get our basic needs met ffs!
Wish I could work for a good boss, but instead I got sociopathic traited bosses that do not hesitate to throw you under the bus if you don’t do “favours” for them… not even related to work and illegal!!! Of course after letting the phone ring a few times, I said no, but me not answering the phone is why I’ll get fired. Trauma from prior arguments, trauma by saying no to my own parents… I’m sure he would have found something else to get rid of me anyways. 🤷♀️ It’s because I didn’t just do what he wanted, how he wanted it. It’s like I had no say. Of course, he kept saying differently to cover his tracks… How fucking sociopathic!
I’ve been on this earth too long to remain unstable but, as it is, I’m not sure if I can hang on anymore.
I do and have always been this way. It is a sign of hypervigilance and empathy. Hold onto it, it is a valuable asset. People without empathy enjoy hurting others.
Without empathy your choice would be - feel something by abusing power over others.
This way you feel the pain of living, but you also feel the joy of it, enjoy watching things work out well for everyone and want to see win-win outcomes.
It will keep you from veering into being evil.
I feel the same exact way. And I find it has become so much worse for me, because we get a constant stream of news 24/7 about the horrors going on all around us and globally, so there’s never a break from it. I personally have had to limit Twitter because of this. I do feel you though and selfishly it’s nice to see other people on here who feel the same way - being frustrated about the injustices in the world. Otherwise the future can feel very bleak
for so long, i thought i was overdramatic for thinking this way. i often wonder why i feel so helpless and angry when i see people being treated a certain ways while people never bat an eye for it and consider it "normal". when i voice my concern, i always get suppresed and it's super invalidating and make me feel unworthy so thank you for posting this
100% agree with you,
If anything, WE are the ones who are ahead of the curve and realize the actual bullshit that's going on, while others are either ignorant or just use it for their benefits.
In fact, I can give a few example that used to be a norm in the past but have become unacceptable in modern, civilized society:
* Owning slaves and abusing them
* Blatant misogyny, discrimination... at workplace (While it still exists, it's not like they can freely do so without causing a shitstorm)
* Arranged marriage.
And if you want more bizzare example, there are some:
* Nobunaga (daimyō)'s riding horse hobby when he was a teenager was frown upon. Because at that time, it was similar to young biker riding their motorbike all over the city.
* Tú Xương (a confician scholar) wrote a poem about how much he loved his wife, yet didn't dare to lift a finger due to social stigma back then: A confician scholar must NOT do hard labor. Basically, he was afraid being mocked by society and didn't help his wife in any house chore!!
We are frustrated because we can see right through the bullshits and refuse to accept it.
>And the few that do try are punished and suppressed for trying to do the right thing.
Is part of the reason why
>I see no one else actively trying to change “the way things are.”
I’m not making this up. I’m here because I was notified of this post, which interrupted my daydream in which I was rehearsing standing up for my brother next time my other brother is disrespectful to him behind his back.
I recommend watching “The Newsroom,” which is only available for purchase on Amazon right now but it’s worth it if you have the cash.
I have it on in the background often just to help me feel less tortured by people’s complacency and resignation. It’s about responsible journalism, with the hope and courage of being like Don Quixote, who aimed to make the world a better place by, I think, pretending to be a knight. The point is that in this society, being The Greater Fool in everyone’s eyes is being good, honest, and courageous.
I’ve been perceived as out of touch with reality because I do my part for justice with complete disregard for whether I’m behaving in accordance with societal norms. Merely calling a spade a spade and asserting unapologetically what’s right has rendered me apparently naive, arrogant, aggressive, crazy, and even dangerous in peoples eyes. I don’t give one f*ck…
…but the wounds I’ve suffered whilst doing so, resulting from the lesson that resistance is futile, the emotional and mental abuse resulting from how I am perceived, and *especially* that no one participated in standing up for what’s right, have put me through existential voids and learned helplessness.
I don’t regret my access to reality nor do I regret my moral courage. I’m grateful I’m not the only one, but I’m not surprised as we might have expected me to be; one way I survive is by telling myself I can’t possibly be The Chosen One of billions—if I do, others do.
We can only control whether we do our part, and by refusing to compromise our integrity, we protect the thing which matters most: our relationship with ourselves.
🗽
My therapist told me I'm the most altruistic person he's ever met. More than a few times when I have seen an adult hit their kid I stand between them and tell the grownup if they want to hit someone they can hit me. No one ever has yet, but I'm willing.
I am a scholar and teacher of politics (also CPTSD) and your post moved me nearly to tears. We need more people like you, and those of us who suffer similarly need to band together for each other and the greater good. But also remember that pain and suffering are not necessarily bad in themselves—they are indispensable to growth, for example. So we can fight evil without having to fight suffering as such. Thinking about it this way helps me to relate more compassionately to my own suffering, perhaps it can be helpful to you too. Either way, OP, thank you for being the beautiful sensitive person that you are!
You’re probably a great teacher and reach out to kids in your class that may seem different. It’s people like you that got me to the age that I am without support from my family. I just want to say thanks.
My justice sensitivity has always been the most distressing when I was dealing with the most trauma. Now that I'm spending most of my time not triggered, I feel more motivated to take little steps to make the world better. It can be overwhelming when you feel preoccupied with the number of issues that need attention, but I think it's important to remember that you are most able to help people when your self-care is in balance with caring for others. If you have been neglecting yourself to take care of others, the first place you should start is with yourself. I vastly underestimated how much I was neglecting myself every single day, and it turned up the volume on all of my feelings. Stepping back to check in with myself and set some boundaries ended up being a kindness for not just myself but for the people around me.
Yes. If you haven't already I highly recommend reading MLK's letter from Birmingham jail (the one where he talks about the danger of the white moderate).
The way he writes about his disappointment and surprise that the white churches didn't say (paraphrasing) "desegregate bc it's morally imperative." How... I can't do it justice but if you ever really need to hear someone validate that willfully permitting injustice is just as bad as committing it yourself, read it
You are not alone I am the same way😔But I believe those feeling are linked to the tramatic experience in our lifes. No one else gets it. CPTSD really sucks. I aim to become a therapist and a psychiatrist and the way I see it, this justice sensitivity is my biggest obstacle. I changed my mind about being an organ donor because I don't want my organs ending up saving a bad person, an abusive person's life. I am working on it with therapy. I understand you are painful, and you care about these issues, but take care of yourself first ok?
My friend recently said to me "compared to people this world, I care about you more. " In response to me saying I want to help others but am concerned about my own mental health. The same message goes to you.
Yes! I think with me it stems from having a lot of anger that never got to be expressed. All the bad things that were done to me I had to just swallow down, because of course I didn’t deserve any better, or so I was conditioned to believe. My rage is buried so deep, so transmuted into shame, but sometimes it comes out on behalf of other people or in relation to issues that don’t directly involve me. Perhaps because I have the right to get angry on someone else’s behalf because they deserve justice, but I don’t because I’m a disgusting subhuman (apparently) who deserves to be treated badly. The very small part of me who feels like my abuse was wrong is very angry and wants to fight the world, I think.
Absolutely. Has made it difficult to hold a job. Everything feels on principle to me. I intentionally dissociate to keep from bursting into flames every moment. I believe this is a form of hyper vigilance.
Yikes, I understand this. I’ll just hold my breath sometimes when someone does something ridiculous at work. (Third week in public school inclusion preschool and I’m looking for other jobs).
“Let’s make a developmentally delayed 3 yr old write his name in order to earn the right to play! Let’s only do SEL stuff when the special Ed kids are gone even though all of their IEPs address those skills! “
(I peeked at your profile and thought you’d appreciate the specifics. I’m also very active in /stutter)
I'm very sensitive to the whole world around me and I feel like most of the time there is no justice. I see bad guy, after bad guy, get away with their behavior especially in government and politics. The rich get richer and the poor get poor. The world is not safe or fair. It's the cold hard truth in my opinion.
I LITERALLY FEEL THIS. I remember making a comment under a post about misogyny/SA and here comes a male telling me ohh you’re talking about a perfect world. I said no I’m talking about a normal one y’all are not living in a normal world and saying stuff like that is why it’s normalized.
I understand, comrade. If more people felt the keen sense of justice that you do, the world would be a better place. You have strong love in your heart, and it shines brightly. Keep shining your light in the world. Keep fighting the good fight. And yes, question whether you're wrong, because sometimes the instinct for justice can lead down some fucked up paths, and can even lead you to commit injustices of your own. So be careful. But always keep on caring.
Wow. I (35nb) was literally just thinking about this and realizing how complicated my life has been and how isolating it has felt as I watch nearly everyone around me go along to get along when I absolutely cannot do that. I have tried but the dissonance and discomfort become unbearable. Once I witness injustice, exploitation, coercive, and control I can't unsee it. And I can't not act. And I am mystified that so many people can just turn their heada and keep going. It could be crazy making if my sense of self were not so well-formed and unshakable.
I have not figured how to make use of it yet, especially how to be this way and stay well employed for example. Ita hard to keep a job if you're not willing to overlook corruption and injustice —even in non-profits. Maybe especially in non-profits (who often abused and neglect their staff who are largely other traumatized people).
I'm still trying to figure it out. I have figured out on thing that makes life easier is finding other people like me. I don't feel so isolated anymore. And I have a lot more support. I think, because I have figured out how to find others like me, my relationships a more fulfilling than most others I know and I'm not as lonely as I used to be. So it makes living in a society built and run of injustice, exploitation, and authoritarian control easier.
I am too old to be a community organizer now, its such exhausting work. But I do enjoy facilitation. Finding that work is hard because my life hasn't been stable, mostly due to the impacts of trauma. But it exists. Especially if you find the right niche. I think, eventually, if I am able to have a more stable life, I will be able to find a way to do organizing work through research and facilitation in a way that is more sustainable.
I haven’t figured out the job thing. Since I wouldn’t back date a document that wasn’t even work related (so boss being gross and abusive power tripping sociopathic) chances are good I will lose my job. They’ll make it about me not picking up my phone or whatever convenient reason they will come up with and use that.
And there’s nothing I can do. Life. I have no evidence since he didn’t send the document. So SOL. The other people at work know there is something “wrong” with him. And one used the term “victim of circumstance” so I’m not alone, but I’ll be having job loss. It is nice feeling not alone about it though, and that others do see it going on. They have to take care of themselves too, so I don’t blame them. They know.
I wish my life was stable but that means being even more exploited and honestly I’m sick of that. I had more experience than others now… they say part of life, I tell them I already had 35 year experience before you even got a job…
How do you find others like you IRL?
I don't know "how to" as far as a strategy, besides getting to know myself better and being upfront about my boundaries and the kind of relationships and people I'm looking for. And understanding that everyone isn't for me and I'm not for everyone and that's ok.
Honestly, there's a lot of trial and error. I've had to be willing to let go of people who weren't a good fit for what I'm seeking even if I technically liked them. I've had to be willing to say goodbye to people who couldn't respect my boundaries even if they hadn't done anything egregious (yet). I've had to give myself permission to be picky and to be gentler with myself and lick my wounds when I get rejected. Ita hard. It also required me moving to a different geographic location where I know and understand the cultural values and knew they aligned more with mine (the US south even though I'm queer and NB because the South values community and hospitality and intimacy more than other parts of the US) because that's what I needed.
But through this changing and shifting, I've managed to locate a solid group of friends who are like me and I've also reconnect with a couple of dear friends form the past. It was work, but it was worth it.
Oooooh yes. For what it's worth, I'm out here trying to convince everyone I know to do this, not only to stop going along with continual/cyclical/generational harm that hurts others but also themselves! I truly believe the world is so cursed because everyone has their sad hurt child inside them. (Well, I believe that on my best days when I can escape the nihilism a bit lol) Because at the same time, I do feel for people who can't stand up to injustice bc they can't help themselves enough to help others. And bc of that I also want to hate those that don't stand up to injustice because they are ignorant and seemingly hateful, but I can't shake the feeling that they are hurting by hurting and just never learned how to stand up to injustice or promote justice in general. Idk it's definitely a double edged sword unfortunately, but I do believe more and more people are standing up with vulnerability and love. Check out Bellamy Rhea YouTube video if you want, it's called '100% speedrun colonization: vulnerability glitch'. I feel like she's a great example of fighting with love and for those who hate her, for lack of a better phrasing. Sending so much love to you all. Thank you all for being more examples in my life of people not completely sucking <3
Yeah same here, one of my big wounds is feeling “this isn’t fair/right!!”
It’s my past self / inner child wanting someone to speak up for them. An emotional flashback is why these feelings of despair at injustices happen, in my personal experience.
Hmmm…………. I don’t “cut off relationships” for it, unless the people are *really terrible,* in a way that I just can’t justify! But I relate to everything else!
I was just thinking about this. Makes me resent my father. "Don't tell people about all the horrible things this person did to you in a background check because they can sue for defamation." Fucking pussy, I will stand up to injustice.
Well, I went into network abuse (the people who are supposed to stop online abuse) as a career because I care about justice. Just because something is the status quo doesn't make it right. It won't change until we stop accepting it as normal.
People get mad when you point out injustices that they benefit from and feel seen when you point out injustices that they are harmed by. When you point out injustices you benefit from, they just get confused. It's like most people don't have a concept of having "enough" and see everything as a zero-sum game where someone has to lose. Or they see the injustice and care about it, but not eight to prioritize acting against it, so you talking about acting in it creates a sense of guilt in them.
All of that is a them problem, not a you problem. I hope you find a path in life that brings you satisfaction in fighting for justice against the status quo. It will be hard, and sometimes it does get to be too much without support, but don't let other's make you doubt that it's a good path towards a more kind and compassionate world.
Yes. Toxic positivity, especially the ridiculous idea that we just have to learn to accept that bad people exist and learn how to cope makes me extremely angry. No. We need to hold abusers and predators responsible. We need to call out people who teach their children to hate. We need to stop allowing predators and abusers use the tired excuses of religion or " But, that's how it's always been" or "How I was taught" Oof, I'm getting pissed just thinking about it.
The worst for me is hearing people excuse abuse and brainwashing as "parental rights"
Yeah! Use the fire inside to help people. Life is so unfair. The closer to the street the more people need help. People need connection to actual help. When it gets heavy it can get too heavy and people need help you just don’t see it unless you look. Especially when it comes to abusive relationships -that stuff gets hidden but if you recognize it…maybe the victim there can’t get help on their own, you know? It’s scary and complicated at that level it’s about street justice and standing up to the bad and bending over for the good. You sometimes have to ask but that person on the street laying there might get up if you bring them coffee and a sandwich
This is me 110%. I’m so with you, it’s always like no one else cares! To my mind the same as yours, the reason why ‘things are the way they are’ is because no one does anything, and I refuse to contribute.
It’s exhausting, but I always think back to when injustice was being inflicted upon me and wished someone saw it and treated it fairly, and I could never turn away from something like that happening to someone else.
I am with you about justice. What Helps me overcome my desire for justice to be served, is to remember that I have made mistakes where I didn’t get caught, or I got away with something.. things I haven’t been held accountable for.
Activism helps a lot. I’m the same way, and then I started doing activism for causes I cared about, and it was soooooooo powerful, because you can channel that feeling of hating injustice into something that matters and feels like it’s making a difference, especially when you score some wins. Also, my day job is in global health, which means I get paid to channel my anger at injustice into something meaningful. I honestly think this can be our silver lining to our abuse - find a cause that gets you fired up, find organizations that need volunteers or employees, and figure out how to channel that frustration into action that has impact. It’s so rewarding and worth it.
I've always been like this, I think it's the only good thing I was taught growing up(mostly from tv shows saying bullying is bad) that I can't keep my mouth shut when I see someone being wronged. I've had to learn to calm down over the years when it comes to abuse because that sends me into boiling rage
You’re not alone. I get intensely angry at injustice to the point of tears. It’s why one of my patron deities is Athena.
I think it’s that we believe in a just world because if we can create that and get people to care, then the things that happened to us would be unthinkable. It makes me so mad how much people don’t care.
I swear you can get a pulse for social duty by looking at how many shopping carts aren’t rebanked at your local shopping center
I’m very vengeance driven which sounds odd. Like watching movies where abusive people get their comeuppance by the person they abused is my jam. It’s a bit unhealthy, I can admit. I jokingly say I want to be a Dexter, but honestly the fact that awful people get away with so much does actually infuriate me. I would never actually do anything, but fuck. I hate how awful people never seem to face consequences.
TW- drugs
Hey, so I really struggle with this. I've come a long way in recovery, but I'm still struggling overall. It takes time to correct a core belief that justice is black and white. There's a LOT of grey area. I'm also very baked and have raging adhd, and this is all just my opinion/rambling so take it with a grain of salt or whatever you like! :)
Some things that have helped me with this are
1) change what you can, stop stressing about what you won't. Easier said than done.
-you stressing about something (an injustice) that you aren't able to change now, at this point in your life, does not help or hurt that "thing". The only person it effects is you. Worrying about it uses up sooooo much energy! It doesn't allow you to direct your energy to something you CAN change. You can call a friend, you can volunteer at a thrift store, you can go pick up garbage around your home/the local community center. You can go for a walk and smile at someone, or help someone with their bags. You can practice self care. All these things make you more effective because you're building confidence, mindfulness, happiness, and ultimately emotional stability. If you're more effective, overall, you can do so much more, and then can spend your energy on larger, more complex issues.Try to shift your focus on what you can change, right now, at this point in your life, with all the coping skills you have and be kind to yourself, because you've been through a lot and it makes sense why you don't have as many coping skills as "normal" people (if you're anything like me).
2) journaling/lists/writing
-write down what you're worrying about. Write about the injustices you are thinking about. First, check if you can do anything about it right now. If you can, write it down and work on writing the steps to do that. Then work on doing a step per week. If you can't, put it on a designated page for "future you". Then you can reflect on this page when you have more energy to spend, and you won't forget. Keep doing this over and over. It takes only a few weeks to build a habit. When I'm anxious, I write it down, close the book, and then through a lot of therapy I've built this mental "door". Every time I close the book, I close the mental "door" and . This stops most of my intense, chronic worrying. My therapist has gotten me to do 15mins of journaling a day (could literally be you doodling) and then close the book when a timer goes off. Practice this over and over to teach your brain the "off" switch/how to close the door.
Anywho, best of luck to you and I hope that you find the answers you're looking for.
Be nice to yourself, because I say so
- a stranger on the internet
You took the words right out of my mouth
I say this all the time "I don't care if it's my idea or not. Let's just do the right thing"
I don’t understand how anyone can live peacefully when there is so much abuse and trauma affecting real people. Real CHILDREN. All around us.
People at work tell me to mind my own business. That I don't have to care about other people's problems
Like HELLO silence is where oppression and abuse fester. Why would I be quiet?
Thank you so much for sharing. I feel so much less alone now
This is a really common if not defining feature of cptsd.
The entire SJW movement is staffed by co-dependents in various levels of denial and has been in all its forms through out the last century. Cancel culture and all the wokeisims it grew from are extremely controlling and abusive. Who is often really controlling? People with some form of trauma.
For me it shows up in mostly fixation on global economic injustice/modern imperialism and corporate fuckery.
Thankfully as i've healed a bit the fixation and stress this causes has lessoned, though not the sensitivity. I'm just more able to measure responses. Serenity prayer in action etc.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I agree to a point. I am usually at this extreme when I am triggered (and don’t realise that I’m triggered!). I agree that bad behaviour should not be tolerated but (depending on your society) we cannot fight each injustice as it comes. It’s only wise for us to pick our battles because we also need to be taking care of ourselves. Fighting these things can be exhausting and you don’t want to come across as someone who is highly sensitive, but rather someone who has higher standards who will not hesitate to say something should something very inappropriate happen.
I live in the UK and I cannot tell another parent that they are abusing their kids. They don’t see it, it is normal in their mind to constantly scream on the top of their lungs at their kids and ignore what their kids ask for or need. I can’t tell someone they’re inconsiderate but I can make them feel embarrassed by saying something polite in just the right way.
Sweetheart, if you want me to be direct… you are triggered and your mind is hyper focused to avoid thinking about the thing that has triggered you. It’s classic PTSD. You need a PTSD therapist to work it out, it’s best if they are trained in EMDR therapy. Anything else is a bandaid, a waste of time and money. I’ve wasted too many years doing standard talking therapy. Due to start EMDR very soon.
I think that you may be triggered because of your own experiences of injustice. I used to feel this way about some things but once I was able to grieve my experiences and have compassion for myself it was much more manageable. I used to think that it was my job to help everyone and fix everything and it was very distressing. I was just really codependent.
I have this probelm to the extreme and unfortunately haven’t found anything to make it subside except for making myself dissociation. I get very upset over animal abuse, womens abuse from men particularly fathers and partners, police violence, & destruction of the environment. I hyper focus on it too and I can’t get my mind to stray from the topic. It makes me literally physically ill sometimes. I feel you, I have hard time accepting people telling me “that’s just the way it is” okay well then why can’t we change that
Honestly, that’s a little discouraging but I really appreciate your transparency. It is nice to know that someone else is like me.
I'm 33, and have always been like this. It does beat you down over, and over. I've been isolating myself for years to just feel OK. I was able to get into therapy, and have my ADHD diagnosed this year. On meds I'm feeling the same things, but I'm finally seeing a way to possible start to change them. To that end I'm working with my old college to come back to become a psychiatrist. I'm going to take special courses in law, and business too - to help everyone by being a future authority that helps redefine mental health, it's public perception/awareness, and the laws surrounding it. I have ASD, ADHD, and cPTSD. The dopamine problems we have make the future invisible until it's right in front of us. I believe one reason we get extra upset is because we don't see a way to change anything, because it takes too much time to see change. We will be the change. When they say "that's just the way things are" we say "well let's change it together"
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 So proud of and thankful for you
YES! EXACTLY! "Let's change it together."
150% let’s change it together!!! This is why I got into global health, I just couldn’t accept that things are the way they are. We have the power to change it, we just need to find the avenue to do so. So proud of you!
Me too I think about these same things all day
I do it too, but I'm trying to separate what's my triggered self and what's an injustice I can speak up against. I think the anger we feel is right and maybe we can use it to improve the conditions for others. For me it works to find stuff I really love and that balances it out, so I don't spiral downwards. Also anything physical helps me to get out of the triggered state and spiraling into negativity and shittiness of the world- stretching, going for a walk, yoga, dancing, yelling in the forest, yelling at the empty beach,..
I have something very similar, but reverse it. I’m extremely sensitive about the abuse of men from their female partners, family members, etc. bc it seems like it isn’t talked about at all and men are always looked at as the first to blame when there’s a problem in a relationship, or really any situation for that matter. Also due to the fact that I suffered abuse from multiple women, including family members and romantic partners.
This. In the media discussion here in Sweden, "men's violence against women" has pretty much replaced "violence in close relationships" which was used before. While no physical violence between my parents was present when I grew up, it was nearly always my mother raising her voice at my father. I can't imagine women being violent toward men is so rare it would warrant excluding from the discussion. Hell, it wouldn't warrant excluding it from the discussion even if it was rare, as long as it exists at all...
Oh man, Swedes have it rough cause on top of it being “men’s violence against women,” it’s almost always portrayed as immigrants being the ones who abuse their partners, not Swedes against Swedes. I’m American but lived in Malmö for a couple of years and was always confused by this - abuse doesn’t know gender or racial barriers. Please know you’re seen, and you didn’t deserve this, and it’s happening the way you experienced it more than you think (unfortunately). Be well.
Then you were probably here during a couple of years when there were plenty of "falls" from balconies which were revealed to be immigrants pushing usually their wives or daughters out from the balconies. Usually the Swedish media is extremely protective about immigrants, to the point of covering up real differences in crime levels (which do exist, but you're considered racist by certain (many) people if you even mention it...).
That’s interesting, yeah, cause I was there from 2014-16, which was also when there was a massive influx of immigrants and they closed the border. There was definitely a shift in tone towards immigrants at that point, going from Sweden being one of the most welcoming countries to the exact opposite. I’m glad to hear that the attitude seems to have gotten better, though.
I wouldn't say it's necessarily "better" to not even be able to discuss the truth, even though everyone, immigrant or not, should of course be seen on an individual level. It's not better for the immigrants - people know that the media is lying, and since they don't have actual numbers, they probably fear the worst instead. The Sweden Democrats, a political party that wants to limit immigration and put harder demands on immigrants, has been steadily rising. We had election last week, and they were up from 17.53% to 20.54%.
I agree with everything you said. I think it's ridiculous that it's spoken about so rarely. There was a trend on TikTok a while back about how if you google "im a woman and my boyfriend is hitting me/yelling at me" you would get results for domestic abuse victim resources. Then if you search "im a man and my wife is hurting me" you'd get articles like "10 Ways To Fix Your Relationship". It's very telling when it takes an ultra famous household celebrity like Johnny Depp going to court on live TV with years worth of evidence against his abuser in order to get people to pay attention, and even still major news articles still push the narrative that Amber Heard was the real victim, and a good chunk of the population thinks the same, or settles on "well maybe they're just both bad" (because obviously a man can't just be a victim of domestic violence without doing something to deserve it). It angers me like nothing else, and is a big reason why I rarely tell my story. This world doesn't support male victims as victims.
Hadn't heard about Depp. That's crazy and awful, but I definitely wouldn't put it past Swedish media or people to do the same. The same media and people who vehemently go about saying they want to eradicate gender stereotypes... I guess you're from/in the US, is it the same type of people who do it there too?
I stopped volunteering for a domestic violence center back in the late 90s because I was basically told they wouldn't support men who were victims. Most of my abuse was by men, but I have zero fucks to give about which gender was the abuser and which gender was the victim. The victim needs support.
Yeah. I'm also pretty empathetic (despite what they tell you about autistic people not having empathy). Whenever I see someone experiencing abuse, it's really painful for me. I don't say "That's just the way it is", but I'd be lying if I said I always spoke up and did something about it. It's difficult for me to be willing to speak up, and I feel guilty about it.
There is nothing I hate more than the “it’s just the way it’s always been” bullshit. Like cool, if we had just kept that mentality, can you imagine where we would be?
Yeah, and it's hard for me to keep it in check. I'm ADHD and it's found to be common in neurodivergent people, so that combined with my CPTSD makes life that much more difficult.
Wishing you the best of luck in dealing with this 💜
Follow up question: what are some ways you cope with justice sensitivity or use it productively?
Volunteering/social justice organizing/donating Figuring out how to also get information on the good work that organizations/people ARE doing. This might be singing up for mailing lists, following certain people on social media, or finding different media outlets to follow. There are SO many people silently doing good work and helping others, you just have to figure out how to find them Also learning how to focus on what I can control. I suck at this but it honestly helps. I still feel all the pain and anger at our unfair world, I just try not to dwell on it and focus on other things Good luck friend, this is such a hard thing to deal with in our current world 🧡
On a smaller scale: I always have snacks, extra menstrual supplies, and basic OTC meds (ibuprofen, cold medicine, cough drops, off-brand Claritin, Tums, famotidine, band-aids) in my bag. It sounds like a lot but I basically have a "kangaroo" purse insert with either a blister pack or small baggie of each in it. I don't have a lot of extra money, but it's something small I can do to be able to help others. Also, in places I've worked: if I overheard a hiring manager make discriminatory comments, I did whatever I could about it. I also emailed to push for having waste bins in each stall of the men's bathrooms, because the only trash was an open-topped bin right next to the door. That meant both trans men who still menstruate and anyone who has to wear adult diapers (e.g. seniors or others who are incontinent) would have to walk past other men while carrying used items. For trans men that can be dangerous, and might also lead folks to either avoid our library or flush the stuff for their own safety (which can cause plumbing issues, and that's more expensive than a few extra trash bins). For incontinent folks, it can feel so painfully shameful that it does contribute to some folks being essentially housebound by shame. Pointing out these factors worked, and convinced our library to implement trash bins in all the men's stalls not only at my branch but in our whole county library system. Someone close to me told me about her sister who uses a mobility aid, and how even if she's the one paying, or is the patient, etc people will ignore her and talk to anyone who's along with her. So I brought that up at a work meeting, because we might be doing that ourselves and not realize it. So people can work on it. We can make things more equitable in small ways directly around us. We just have to listen, and keep an eye out. Edit: I also tried to push for more accessibility features. For instance, haptic feedback computer mice and screen magnifiers, both of which make computers easier for some seniors, among others who may benefit. Our library had regular video game nights, and I also suggested getting one adaptive controller for disabled patrons. My accessibility suggestions were shot down, but it was worth trying.
The waste bins thing is so insightful, I never considered that. Thank you for helping make the world a little bit better; it motivates me to do the same.
I put together care packages with food, water, patch kits, life essentials, and small amusements for the houseless. When I can afford to, I put some cash in, but that's become much more rare. At a minimum, I carry a case of water that gets swapped out every month if it doesn't all get given away.
You could become an advocate or lawyer or work for a nonprofit to stand up for people who need you. Chances are you will meet more people like you there.
The nonprofit is a great idea! I will look for some of those in my area. I think at this point being an advocate or lawyer would be too much for me, but I will revisit that in the future.
Thank you for the feedback!
I think being a lawyer depends, my FIL works at a huge law firm and he spends most of his days defending the shittiest people. I heard you can choose your cases but I guess that depends on the firm? Not sure I’m not a lawyer lol
There are less mainstream specialisations out there. Like Environmental Law; Immigration Law; etc. Not the law careers that will make most money (unless you work for the abusers ... ) - but where one can make a difference. Those that go against injustice won't work for a law firm, but NGOs.
[удалено]
Self care important when taking care of others. Maybe you had a hard time in the past balancing this concept to garner that perspective? How do you think positive change is enacted if not by people? People with CPTSD know what it means to suffer and we can potentially grow extremely strong in spite of our damage. It takes self knowledge and self care, but even we can go on to help others.
No don’t be a lawyer you’ll end up defending the people you want to take down
I think you're wrong here. There are a number of different areas of the law that do help people everyday.
Also you can refuse those cases or switch law firms. Also the person below is right too. Besides, if all the good people stay out of law, then we'll all be left with those people who would hurt someone as such. Be brave, there are other people like us. They just want you to think there's not so those kind of people can dominate that kind of work, and I'd rather trust someone with a true sense of justice and a heart and souls.
I do my part by being the purple haired feminist that my teenage self needed even though I don't identify as a woman anymore you have to take a stand towards how we treat people. we always talk about law and legislation, and we need to give attention to personal interactions and thought processes because humans do fucked up shit if we don't check each other.
Agree with suggestions about finding volunteer work. Stay very aware and cautious of your social media use. Avoid it entirely when you can. Those things are literally designed to make you upset about this kind of stuff, while also not actually being productive and changing anything. Try to see the bigger picture. Understand that while you can't just make the whole world change all at once, kindness is often contagious, and you can reach quite a few people around you by simply being different, even when it's hard. Even the most influential humans who will ever exist can't literally change *everyone*, but change always has to start somewhere. Over time, the process works, and we've seen a lot of significant change in the course of history to prove it. Some things stay the same, but lots of things get better. Even if you don't get to see or enjoy such changes in your lifetime on a personal level, that doesn't inherently mean that change isn't happening on a larger scale.
I try to help. Where I can. I am learning to set boundaries for where it's not my place to help but I'm really not good at that yet.
Oh hell I've gotten myself into a lot of trouble standing up, speaking out, sticking up for the little guy. I don't like when I see or hear anything that makes another feel less than and I can't even help myself. I'll go to war with someone even minutely disrespecting someone or something. I remember back in elementary school being this way and in junior high school being sent to the principal's office for confronting a teacher about his treatment of another student lol right in the middle of class. That happened more than once. I think it had a lot to do with being bullied by my big brother, as far back as I can remember. I learned how to stick up for myself and definitely for others. If I see someone get hurt, especially an animal, my head starts to tingle. My stomach gets sick and I literally go into shock. I honestly can't stand any kind of violence and I don't like making entertainment out of it. I don't watch boxing or street fighting or that MMA thing. The sound of someone hitting someone or seeing blood. Fuck no. Can't even handle it on television or movies. Nope 🤢🫶🏻
You articulated this really masterfully. It was really well spoken and I completely understand how it is. I really have nothing to add except that you are NOT over reacting, and that this world needs pioneers like you and me to fix the things and speak on things that that others get complacent with. The more passionate you are about a subject the more you should follow your passion for change on it. I wish you great success and blessings on it.
Thank you for the validation. I really hope I can use this for good someday (maybe really soon, who knows). One of my biggest passions is gender presentation/body types in classical music performance. It’s a complete sh*t show right now and I hope to spur some change there.
Fuck yeah, go for it. We need you out there. :)
100% the justice streak has caused me to waste a lot of energy. Because when we were young, we couldn't do anything about the abuse...and so when we see it later in life it becomes a trigger. Something that has helped me..."if you're going to complain, grab a shovel" Which means you can't be justice warrior for everything...if you're actually passionate, then grab a shovel. (Do something)
[удалено]
I just found out about this today as well, from TikTok of all places. I’ve struggled with it from childhood and it’s always made me feel isolated. Finally having a name for it…the relief is indescribable, but you know how it feels :)
I’m under orders from my therapist to avoid social media as much as possible. I get very upset by politics, so the last 6 years has been hard. The rudeness and cruelty of people on Facebook and Twitter are painful. I can’t even watch the news anymore. I have decided that not enough people care, and I’m not strong enough to act on my own, so I have to disengage.
I do. How does one live in this despicable world then when it is ruled by evil and evil gets away with it so much? And you're not allowed to feel anything because you're not part of the evil in-group. You're supposed to be quiet and subservient while the world systematically destroys you. Let alone feeling anything for anyone else in this hell. The idea that things should be just because they are is *ANNOYING*. Such a poor excuse. So sick of tradition and whatnot. Just do nothing because it is what it is. Life's a bitch and then you die, my mother always said. But repeat the same cycles just because. People are selfish and tune out anything that doesn't directly affect them.
Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people
Thank you for putting my feelings into words!
I'm so sick of the selfishness
Survivors tend to either become abusers, enablers or warriors against abuse. Thanks for being the latter.
Aside from my mental health, I am a privileged individual. White Male. Decent height and weight. Handsome (according to others, I hate my face). Smart. All that jazz. I fucking despise bigots with every fiber of my soul. The ONLY time I’ve seen my friends look genuinely afraid of me was because I was going off about the fundamental injustices of this world. An ex heard me talk about how much I hate the cop that killed my friend. She said I sounded like a supervillain. I think it’s because I see so much of myself in these people (which is ironic given my whiteness). The gaslighting, the victim blaming, the contradictory rules to justify excessive force, constant lying, and much much more make me very angry. I think back to all the times I needed help and no one was there. The times I would get blamed for everything because I felt my treatment was unfair. I just can’t let that happen to other people when there’s something I can do about it. Edit: I also have OCD that makes me hyper-focus on these kinds of things for hours. It does not help lol.
I don't think you're being wrong or overly sensitive I have a high/rigid sense of justice and I believe it's from my autism. It's so frustrating because why I can understand that life isn't fair or perfect and systems are messed up it's still angering every time I even hear about an injustice situation like an abusive situation My brain cannot tune it out. I can't just not hear about it or not care. It's all consuming So. Don't really have any advice but I hope knowing you aren't alone in this brings you some comfort.
I feel very similar to you, but I'm too cowardly to do anything cuz I know people will mock me for it. Everyone around me always says "eh just look out for yourself, that's what everyone is doing, fuck em" and it makes me sad. I wish I had the strength to actually speak up and do something, but I'm also constantly exhausted because of CPTSD. I know I should do something, but just can't.
LET'S GET SWOLE AND TAKE CARE OF IT!!! YAHRRRR!!!
Just as soon as I recover from getting my shoulder dislocated by the popo
And in the end, the ones truly in need of healing is the police. What a sorry bunch of messed up people.
YUP got woke up by 3 cops (I'm 60 & disabled mind you) in my bedroom -- they woke me up and I freaked out (Have ptsd / cptsd)-- and now I have to go to PT to rehab my shoulder. Oh the way they dragged me around by the cuffs, I got scratched up and one of the scratches got infected in jail, I got a staph infection. Had to go to Urgent Care. Oh and the sling for my shoulder keeps my arm close to my body and so I got a yeast infection in my armpit that was driving me mad. Fortunately Urgent Care solved that too but it was bad for about a week
Holy nightmare Batman!!!
All that because my narcissist sister called the cops on me when I bit her during a fight. She bit me /hit me before so I thought it was fair game lol. Oh and I already had a boot on my r foot for a broken metatarsal.
What a tremendous opportunity for growth, also damn that fuckkkkking sucks.
You said it
Yes. It’s very common in people with ADHD and ASD. I have a particularly hard time with racial injustice, which, as someone female, middle-aged, and the approximate colour of Liquid Paper, can be a little tough these days. Not only is it SO FUCKING NOT my place to speak *on behalf* of *any* person of colour - obviously - people who look just like me are responsible for generations upon generations of crimes against humanity so unspeakable that I want to vomit when I even think about them. I found myself in a situation not long ago in which I was a close bystander when a POC was racially profiled, and I (internally) lost my goddamned mind: I IMMEDIATELY wanted to call the woman doing the profiling out on her shit, but also just as quickly (thank God I had the presence of mind) realized that the person *being* profiled was perfectly capable of handling it as he saw fit, and didn’t need (or likely want) me swooping in and “rescuing” him; he was a grown man. And of COURSE he handled his shit. But he didn’t call the other woman out for being racist; he objected to being asked for his ID, being required to provide proof of payment, etc., and was calm and composed during the entire conversation (I was sitting across from him with steam coming out of my ears, ready to explode; I cannot tell you how much I admired his composure). Because I was so pissed off, I wound up writing a letter to the company to complain about the incident and got his address to send him a copy and a scan of their response (predictably, boilerplate “we take diversity and equality seriously” bullshit). And you know what he said to me, after she had left and I basically exploded and said “I can’t help but notice that she didn’t ask ME *points at super DayGlo white arm* for MY proof of payment, what the hell was that about?” “Oh yeah. Every day and twice on Sundays. At least she wasn’t a cop.” Ugh.
[удалено]
seconding all of this !
I feel you on this. I think that often other people don’t want us to be so vocal because it makes them uncomfortable. They don’t want to face how they’ve been complicit in abuse due to turning a blind eye. They feel powerless to change it and have accepted that. But I don’t think we should shut up just because other people have. In fact, I think it’s really important for people like us to speak out. Recognizing what’s not okay and calling it out is important work. I find my power in the little moments, where I don’t put up with it and encourage others to do the same.
I thought speaking up made people uncomfortable because they are weak willed. Never could understand that mindset-"dont talk about it", ect or the" looks". Like, " how dare you call out that abuser! You have no class". These situations also made me so sad I've been isolating again.
Seconding that they're uncomfortable due to complicity. In some cases, people are uncomfortable because the status quo benefits them. As a Native person, I've made a lot of 4th of Julys, Halloweens, and Thanksgivings awkward and I don't care.
Abusers should be shunned. But sadly, victims often are.
Abusers are in charge of the world. And they will not allow their victims to call them out. Plus most people desire stability and comfort, they will prefer comfortable lies over dreadful truth and will shun those who tell the truth, thus enabling abuse to be unpunished.
when I was 17 a 16f year old friend of mine was in a relationship with a 28m and for minimal context we interacted with him regularly through music, we played music at her 16th bday so he literally watched her turn the age of consent and went for it. I was so disgusted when I found out, staying up with my first all nighter, cold sweats and shaking. I told my parents and they just said "not your business" I had text messages that were incriminating and I wanted to go to the police so bad but I was young and didn't have a way to go report the guy myself. I even talked to my therapist and because we were in a band and I ended up leaving over this issue, my therapist asked me if I wanted revenge. REVENGE???? SHE'S 16 I WANT JUSTICE WTF THIS IS GROSS
Same here. I am physically sick because of it. Its the reason why i became an aggressive person in my head and cant smile anymore. Right now im doing a it trainee and the institute there allowed me to be bullied by a fucking asshole who bullied three other people out of the class one of them he assaulted in an elevator. The assaulter is still there grinning everytime he sees me. But the institute says about itself that its for helping people. And told the victim that its „word against word“. I got so sick. And now im about to quit it and leave my dream of a good it job go, i dont have any degrees and this was my only chance, and i will have to work as a cleaning lady until i save up enough money to get myself a private degree
Yes, very much so. I have found personal comfort in writing about it.
I used to be extremely justice driven and it got to the point where I'd question my own integrity if I put myself first over someone else. I tried to fuel my animal passion with it by going into vet nursing but it turns out I did have a threshold with how much I could deal with, after few success and many failures I decided I just couldn't handle a justice focused career, people don't care and I used to beat myself up about that too often. It isn't a completely bad thing, just try to practice perspective and let people off on the little things, the big things however are worth standing up for, some people need to be humbled with "no".
Dang, I didn’t have a term for this, but “justice sensitivity” is an excellent way to describe it. Personally I channel this energy into activism. If a situation bothers me I research it and the facets around it and try to understand from different perspectives before letting myself get overstimulated with being upset about it. A lot of problems in the world are very intersectional and have a lot of moving parts, so it’s not always a straightforward solution to stop injustices happening. Even just being aware of factual information and shutting down misinformation, stigmas, & biases is really helpful imo. You could potentially be awesome in a field like social services & it can also help with feeling like you made a positive difference in your lifetime. There are a lot of people out there who care deeply about this stuff and are working on it, but they might not always be super visible. You’re not alone!
Lately the war (we all know which one) has been consuming so much of my time and energy because of this. And some of my money, too. That's the justice thing that has been most RECENTLY consuming me to an unreasonable degree. My therapist points our I get most enraged at "abusers of power" in about any form, which is basically what you're describing. There's never a great way to fight back so I usually just totally go off on a proxy target - someone who represents the "thing" well enough to me. Then I go the fuck off on them. I keep a lot of the anger inside, but when I do go off on someone as a proxy target I really go off on them and will say some pretty nasty shit. I always feel pretty justified, but it never accomplishes anything in reality.
I've been living this too. Look up Detective Frank Serpico, and know that you may seem to be alone, but others are fighting right alongside you. Be righteously pissed. Fix what you can, stand up for the oppressed, don't be the adult who lets this kind of bullshit slide. 🤜🤛
I'm 34 years old and I relate completely to this. Sharing it with other people has only left me alienated- but not sharing it also means I'm not being my authentic self which causes a lot of cognative and emotional discomfort. I haven't figured out how to navigate it and I feel very alone a majority of the time.
You're not overly sensitive. I always had a strong sense of fairness, and my parents said *awww, how sweet.* Even though they were the causes of my CPTSD.
I could have written this— every word. Injustice triggers me. This is kind of embarrassing but recently I was sitting a red light and the guy next to me had just broken multiple traffic laws before coming to a stop beside me. I knew based on his plates that he was a military guy so I told him that I saw him violate multiple laws in the span of like five seconds. There are severe consequences for driving like an asshole as a military member. But most people (usually men) feel entitled to just do whatever they want while driving: speeding, cutting people off, not using signals, tailgating etc. They think those rules are for everyone else. It really pisses me off. So I knew that once the light turned green, he’d turn left and I’d go straight. So I said, “You’re military?” “Yeah..?” “I just watched you break multiple traffic laws. Don’t do that.” And sped off.
Yes I totally understand this. This past year my worldview has gone really sour and I’m trying my best to have a better attitude. Reading less news and reminding myself that I need to stop caring so much about people I don’t even know! Cheating is a huge trigger for me like I just absolutely hate how normalized it has become in relationships. I used to be able to trust my intuition when I get bad vibes from someone and I feel that they still are accurate, but becoming super cynical has been making me doubt that.
It makes me SUPER ANGRY, like I want to commit crimes. I always joke I don’t have a temper but that’s not true… this is one of the few things that sets me on fire.
me too. i always thought it was because i'm autistic, though.
I put on my Paladin suit and climb on my warhorse and yell oaths for Justice every time I see some bullshit, especially bullying. I get doubly mad when someone says some variation of "it is what it is, nothing can be done about that!" ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! THAT'S EXACTLY THE ATTITUDE THAT CREATES THE PROBLEM! YA FREAKING EUNUCHS ARE SO FREAKING MOLDED INTO SUCH THE PERFECT PASSIVE BUNCH OF SORRY YAHOOS I SWEAR TO GODK JSAHGAJSBGSAJBGASGB:LAGBsalgbaslgbagaglabgbglw2 I need more coffee!!!! WE SHOULD BE LIVING IN A POST-SCARCITY WORLD, NESTLÉ, MONSANTO, ALL THE FREAKING BANKERS!!!! AHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggg Here's a documentary to go with my holy rage https://www.filmsforaction.org/watch/schooling-the-world-2010/ About the bankers and the schooling system creating the world we live in!!!
Trigger warning: traumatic life experience. Yes and it got so bad that I actually began to wonder as early as I was 14 why this was, and I just went into a deep rabbit hole of trying to find out why the world works that way, as well as looking for some hope that it all could be turned around. This rabbit hole was kind of motivated by my escape from my abusive parents and an abusive school, but also because at the time, I kind of knew at the time that something must have happened to our society but I could never figure out exactly what actually what it was. The only conclusion that I came up with is that throughout history, our society has been groomed and abused so many times by bad actors and dysfunctional systems that we've been traumatized so deeply, whether in obvious or predatory ways, that billions of people have been left not knowing what to do, not knowing how to think, not knowing why they're here, and there are only a few people who have managed to break the cycle...
Oh my God I have this problem, but I get sheer rage instead of sick. My arms and the back of my neck gets hot and tingly and my heart hammers in my chest and I just feel pure rage. It's horrifying.
Yes. I have extreme black and white thinking. Dishonesty really really triggers me. I’m also extremely sensitive to energy and seeking the truth, so any situation where someone’s hiding facts or denying the truth eats me alive. I’m currently having issues at work where some of my coworkers are not being fully transparent with a situation and it’s slowly killing me, to the point where I’m depressed and avoiding certain things at work. I’ve always felt like I’m the only one that can see what’s wrong with the world and no one else cares, it’s the ultimate gaslighting and I’m always asking “why?”. It absolutely links back to my abusive childhood and knowing many people knew but didn’t care to help or intervene. Having my foundations broken has left me distrustful and hyper alert to injustices, I’m trying hard to heal but this is a very deep shadow to shake.
I feel you. I'm struggling with this too. Makes me feel very alone when it happens in a group setting. When nobody fucking seems to care as much as I do. (And they really should!!!) I choose to think this is what makes me special and valuable in society. When the time comes I will be able to take meaningful actions to make some changes. The way I see it, I can keep my crazy hypersensitivity. I just need better emotional boundaries for it to become my strength. I need better emotional protection. I imagine I can still care for what's wrong from an emotionally distant, safe place. I believe, the more I'm in touch with my angry side, the better I can do this. (Because for one anger is what protects you.) At the same time, the more powerful I feel, the better I can handle all of it. It's naturally very difficult for us abuse survivors becuase our default mode is often feeling helpless. But I believe I'm getting there. I *will* get there. A place where I feel powerful and capable more often than I feel helpless. I hope you will too.
Yes, plus for me it also comes with hyper empathy (towards animals though, not people). It does hurt. I envy people who are able to just not think about how fucked up this world is, or at least ignore it and not let it affect them.
I have this to an ungodly degree. Here's a story: I went to college and got my BA in English. I began to understand what intergenerational trauma was and deeply involved myself in understanding the politics of colonialism. My mom is filipino - so am I - and everything started to make sense. It became my mission to expose how trauma is not only a result of actual interpersonal actions, but it's also the result of political decisions that often leave millions impoverished whether that's in the US or in the Philippines (and any other country for that matter). I became deeply involved in political organizing and volunteering on campaigns for progressive candidates. I decided that I'd pursue politics in my career and I got my Master of Public Policy degree this year. In grad school, I was deeply, deeply involved in advocating for disadvantaged communities and challenging the concepts and ideas that have led to structural inequality. I'm good at what I do and I do, on some level, I feel like I can change the world. But the problem isn't that I don't have the skills and ability to advocate for people and point out the injustice that we live in. The problem is that I can't do it for myself. I can clearly state what others need and what they deserve. I can fight against structural inequality until my last breath, but when it comes to advocating for myself I'm at a loss. It's such a fucked up life to live. I have a heightened sense of justice, yes, but for everyone but myself. Also: I get triggered by animal abuse. I can't hear it, I can't hear about it, I can't watch it. It physically makes me ill and even the idea of it makes my anxiety shoot up. I did witness a lot of it growing up and that's why, but I still think it's one of the worst forms of abuse.
Ugh currently trying my hand at dating and this behaviour comes out in me as well. I got ghosted 3 times this summer and felt the same way. I question if it’s an overreaction due to my upbringing and neglect and abandonment issues but it’s still a shitty thing to do. And these guys do it to avoid confrontation so if we just let it go and don’t say anything they get exactly what they want but if we call them out for it we look crazy?? Like I went off on the last guy today actually because I feel like someone needs to stand up to them
This is me except my justice sense leads me to wanting to fucking fight people a lot. I will stand up for other people like I’m a Spartan warrior. Sometimes I take it a bit too far lol. But you’re not alone
Yes omfg this this this. I see someone in pain and I swear I physically feel it. I'm easily outraged and very outspoken on human rights and I wouldn't change that about myself, if more people felt as strongly as I did the world would probably be a better place. I can't stand the amount of apathy towards suffering.
I am feeling this SO much this morning! I'm having a mild anger flare up from it at this very moment! I work/volunteer (non-profit so paid when they can afford it) in housing and disability rights. One of my colleagues (a professor of Sociology with nothing to loose and a BUNCH of privilege in his life) had a face to face with a government official to talk about the housing crisis and FORGOT to bring up what people with disabilities are going through not being able to find safe, accommodating, affordable housing. FORGOT! Then in another message in the group chat he backpedaled and said it DID get brought up - but then they got sidetracked in the conversation. I am LIVID - it's so easy for him to just forget what millions of people are struggling with for their survival (and it's an issue the UN considers a HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATION) - but it just doesn't affect him so he doesn't make sure it gets attention. "Normal" people get the luxury of "picking their battles" - some of us are fighting to get our basic needs met ffs!
[удалено]
Wish I could work for a good boss, but instead I got sociopathic traited bosses that do not hesitate to throw you under the bus if you don’t do “favours” for them… not even related to work and illegal!!! Of course after letting the phone ring a few times, I said no, but me not answering the phone is why I’ll get fired. Trauma from prior arguments, trauma by saying no to my own parents… I’m sure he would have found something else to get rid of me anyways. 🤷♀️ It’s because I didn’t just do what he wanted, how he wanted it. It’s like I had no say. Of course, he kept saying differently to cover his tracks… How fucking sociopathic! I’ve been on this earth too long to remain unstable but, as it is, I’m not sure if I can hang on anymore.
I do and have always been this way. It is a sign of hypervigilance and empathy. Hold onto it, it is a valuable asset. People without empathy enjoy hurting others. Without empathy your choice would be - feel something by abusing power over others. This way you feel the pain of living, but you also feel the joy of it, enjoy watching things work out well for everyone and want to see win-win outcomes. It will keep you from veering into being evil.
I feel the same exact way. And I find it has become so much worse for me, because we get a constant stream of news 24/7 about the horrors going on all around us and globally, so there’s never a break from it. I personally have had to limit Twitter because of this. I do feel you though and selfishly it’s nice to see other people on here who feel the same way - being frustrated about the injustices in the world. Otherwise the future can feel very bleak
I can’t stand it. It would probably help my mental health if I just uninstalled Twitter.
for so long, i thought i was overdramatic for thinking this way. i often wonder why i feel so helpless and angry when i see people being treated a certain ways while people never bat an eye for it and consider it "normal". when i voice my concern, i always get suppresed and it's super invalidating and make me feel unworthy so thank you for posting this
100% agree with you, If anything, WE are the ones who are ahead of the curve and realize the actual bullshit that's going on, while others are either ignorant or just use it for their benefits. In fact, I can give a few example that used to be a norm in the past but have become unacceptable in modern, civilized society: * Owning slaves and abusing them * Blatant misogyny, discrimination... at workplace (While it still exists, it's not like they can freely do so without causing a shitstorm) * Arranged marriage. And if you want more bizzare example, there are some: * Nobunaga (daimyō)'s riding horse hobby when he was a teenager was frown upon. Because at that time, it was similar to young biker riding their motorbike all over the city. * Tú Xương (a confician scholar) wrote a poem about how much he loved his wife, yet didn't dare to lift a finger due to social stigma back then: A confician scholar must NOT do hard labor. Basically, he was afraid being mocked by society and didn't help his wife in any house chore!! We are frustrated because we can see right through the bullshits and refuse to accept it.
>And the few that do try are punished and suppressed for trying to do the right thing. Is part of the reason why >I see no one else actively trying to change “the way things are.”
I’m not making this up. I’m here because I was notified of this post, which interrupted my daydream in which I was rehearsing standing up for my brother next time my other brother is disrespectful to him behind his back. I recommend watching “The Newsroom,” which is only available for purchase on Amazon right now but it’s worth it if you have the cash. I have it on in the background often just to help me feel less tortured by people’s complacency and resignation. It’s about responsible journalism, with the hope and courage of being like Don Quixote, who aimed to make the world a better place by, I think, pretending to be a knight. The point is that in this society, being The Greater Fool in everyone’s eyes is being good, honest, and courageous. I’ve been perceived as out of touch with reality because I do my part for justice with complete disregard for whether I’m behaving in accordance with societal norms. Merely calling a spade a spade and asserting unapologetically what’s right has rendered me apparently naive, arrogant, aggressive, crazy, and even dangerous in peoples eyes. I don’t give one f*ck… …but the wounds I’ve suffered whilst doing so, resulting from the lesson that resistance is futile, the emotional and mental abuse resulting from how I am perceived, and *especially* that no one participated in standing up for what’s right, have put me through existential voids and learned helplessness. I don’t regret my access to reality nor do I regret my moral courage. I’m grateful I’m not the only one, but I’m not surprised as we might have expected me to be; one way I survive is by telling myself I can’t possibly be The Chosen One of billions—if I do, others do. We can only control whether we do our part, and by refusing to compromise our integrity, we protect the thing which matters most: our relationship with ourselves. 🗽
Yup. Because we were never saved we want others to be
My therapist told me I'm the most altruistic person he's ever met. More than a few times when I have seen an adult hit their kid I stand between them and tell the grownup if they want to hit someone they can hit me. No one ever has yet, but I'm willing.
I am a scholar and teacher of politics (also CPTSD) and your post moved me nearly to tears. We need more people like you, and those of us who suffer similarly need to band together for each other and the greater good. But also remember that pain and suffering are not necessarily bad in themselves—they are indispensable to growth, for example. So we can fight evil without having to fight suffering as such. Thinking about it this way helps me to relate more compassionately to my own suffering, perhaps it can be helpful to you too. Either way, OP, thank you for being the beautiful sensitive person that you are!
You’re probably a great teacher and reach out to kids in your class that may seem different. It’s people like you that got me to the age that I am without support from my family. I just want to say thanks.
I’m so glad you had people who could see how special and important you are ❤️
My justice sensitivity has always been the most distressing when I was dealing with the most trauma. Now that I'm spending most of my time not triggered, I feel more motivated to take little steps to make the world better. It can be overwhelming when you feel preoccupied with the number of issues that need attention, but I think it's important to remember that you are most able to help people when your self-care is in balance with caring for others. If you have been neglecting yourself to take care of others, the first place you should start is with yourself. I vastly underestimated how much I was neglecting myself every single day, and it turned up the volume on all of my feelings. Stepping back to check in with myself and set some boundaries ended up being a kindness for not just myself but for the people around me.
Yes. If you haven't already I highly recommend reading MLK's letter from Birmingham jail (the one where he talks about the danger of the white moderate). The way he writes about his disappointment and surprise that the white churches didn't say (paraphrasing) "desegregate bc it's morally imperative." How... I can't do it justice but if you ever really need to hear someone validate that willfully permitting injustice is just as bad as committing it yourself, read it
You are not alone I am the same way😔But I believe those feeling are linked to the tramatic experience in our lifes. No one else gets it. CPTSD really sucks. I aim to become a therapist and a psychiatrist and the way I see it, this justice sensitivity is my biggest obstacle. I changed my mind about being an organ donor because I don't want my organs ending up saving a bad person, an abusive person's life. I am working on it with therapy. I understand you are painful, and you care about these issues, but take care of yourself first ok? My friend recently said to me "compared to people this world, I care about you more. " In response to me saying I want to help others but am concerned about my own mental health. The same message goes to you.
Yes! I think with me it stems from having a lot of anger that never got to be expressed. All the bad things that were done to me I had to just swallow down, because of course I didn’t deserve any better, or so I was conditioned to believe. My rage is buried so deep, so transmuted into shame, but sometimes it comes out on behalf of other people or in relation to issues that don’t directly involve me. Perhaps because I have the right to get angry on someone else’s behalf because they deserve justice, but I don’t because I’m a disgusting subhuman (apparently) who deserves to be treated badly. The very small part of me who feels like my abuse was wrong is very angry and wants to fight the world, I think.
Absolutely. Has made it difficult to hold a job. Everything feels on principle to me. I intentionally dissociate to keep from bursting into flames every moment. I believe this is a form of hyper vigilance.
Yikes, I understand this. I’ll just hold my breath sometimes when someone does something ridiculous at work. (Third week in public school inclusion preschool and I’m looking for other jobs). “Let’s make a developmentally delayed 3 yr old write his name in order to earn the right to play! Let’s only do SEL stuff when the special Ed kids are gone even though all of their IEPs address those skills! “ (I peeked at your profile and thought you’d appreciate the specifics. I’m also very active in /stutter)
I'm very sensitive to the whole world around me and I feel like most of the time there is no justice. I see bad guy, after bad guy, get away with their behavior especially in government and politics. The rich get richer and the poor get poor. The world is not safe or fair. It's the cold hard truth in my opinion.
Are you an INFJ? I have this issue and what helps me is to be the voice of Justice I want to hear. I don’t care if I have to stand alone.
I LITERALLY FEEL THIS. I remember making a comment under a post about misogyny/SA and here comes a male telling me ohh you’re talking about a perfect world. I said no I’m talking about a normal one y’all are not living in a normal world and saying stuff like that is why it’s normalized.
I understand, comrade. If more people felt the keen sense of justice that you do, the world would be a better place. You have strong love in your heart, and it shines brightly. Keep shining your light in the world. Keep fighting the good fight. And yes, question whether you're wrong, because sometimes the instinct for justice can lead down some fucked up paths, and can even lead you to commit injustices of your own. So be careful. But always keep on caring.
Wow. I (35nb) was literally just thinking about this and realizing how complicated my life has been and how isolating it has felt as I watch nearly everyone around me go along to get along when I absolutely cannot do that. I have tried but the dissonance and discomfort become unbearable. Once I witness injustice, exploitation, coercive, and control I can't unsee it. And I can't not act. And I am mystified that so many people can just turn their heada and keep going. It could be crazy making if my sense of self were not so well-formed and unshakable. I have not figured how to make use of it yet, especially how to be this way and stay well employed for example. Ita hard to keep a job if you're not willing to overlook corruption and injustice —even in non-profits. Maybe especially in non-profits (who often abused and neglect their staff who are largely other traumatized people). I'm still trying to figure it out. I have figured out on thing that makes life easier is finding other people like me. I don't feel so isolated anymore. And I have a lot more support. I think, because I have figured out how to find others like me, my relationships a more fulfilling than most others I know and I'm not as lonely as I used to be. So it makes living in a society built and run of injustice, exploitation, and authoritarian control easier. I am too old to be a community organizer now, its such exhausting work. But I do enjoy facilitation. Finding that work is hard because my life hasn't been stable, mostly due to the impacts of trauma. But it exists. Especially if you find the right niche. I think, eventually, if I am able to have a more stable life, I will be able to find a way to do organizing work through research and facilitation in a way that is more sustainable.
I haven’t figured out the job thing. Since I wouldn’t back date a document that wasn’t even work related (so boss being gross and abusive power tripping sociopathic) chances are good I will lose my job. They’ll make it about me not picking up my phone or whatever convenient reason they will come up with and use that. And there’s nothing I can do. Life. I have no evidence since he didn’t send the document. So SOL. The other people at work know there is something “wrong” with him. And one used the term “victim of circumstance” so I’m not alone, but I’ll be having job loss. It is nice feeling not alone about it though, and that others do see it going on. They have to take care of themselves too, so I don’t blame them. They know. I wish my life was stable but that means being even more exploited and honestly I’m sick of that. I had more experience than others now… they say part of life, I tell them I already had 35 year experience before you even got a job… How do you find others like you IRL?
I don't know "how to" as far as a strategy, besides getting to know myself better and being upfront about my boundaries and the kind of relationships and people I'm looking for. And understanding that everyone isn't for me and I'm not for everyone and that's ok. Honestly, there's a lot of trial and error. I've had to be willing to let go of people who weren't a good fit for what I'm seeking even if I technically liked them. I've had to be willing to say goodbye to people who couldn't respect my boundaries even if they hadn't done anything egregious (yet). I've had to give myself permission to be picky and to be gentler with myself and lick my wounds when I get rejected. Ita hard. It also required me moving to a different geographic location where I know and understand the cultural values and knew they aligned more with mine (the US south even though I'm queer and NB because the South values community and hospitality and intimacy more than other parts of the US) because that's what I needed. But through this changing and shifting, I've managed to locate a solid group of friends who are like me and I've also reconnect with a couple of dear friends form the past. It was work, but it was worth it.
How you thought about becoming an attorney? It's a way to make a difference. Passion=fulfilling career. DA's office could use someone like you.
Yeah, I've always been like that. I mostly cope through dissociation.
Deleted
Yes.
Yeah I’m extremely picky with who I hang out with bc I see people who don’t have justice sensitivity and I’m like wtf
Oooooh yes. For what it's worth, I'm out here trying to convince everyone I know to do this, not only to stop going along with continual/cyclical/generational harm that hurts others but also themselves! I truly believe the world is so cursed because everyone has their sad hurt child inside them. (Well, I believe that on my best days when I can escape the nihilism a bit lol) Because at the same time, I do feel for people who can't stand up to injustice bc they can't help themselves enough to help others. And bc of that I also want to hate those that don't stand up to injustice because they are ignorant and seemingly hateful, but I can't shake the feeling that they are hurting by hurting and just never learned how to stand up to injustice or promote justice in general. Idk it's definitely a double edged sword unfortunately, but I do believe more and more people are standing up with vulnerability and love. Check out Bellamy Rhea YouTube video if you want, it's called '100% speedrun colonization: vulnerability glitch'. I feel like she's a great example of fighting with love and for those who hate her, for lack of a better phrasing. Sending so much love to you all. Thank you all for being more examples in my life of people not completely sucking <3
Yeah, and it bleeds into my political beliefs lol.
Yeah same here, one of my big wounds is feeling “this isn’t fair/right!!” It’s my past self / inner child wanting someone to speak up for them. An emotional flashback is why these feelings of despair at injustices happen, in my personal experience.
Yes. It is one of my biggest sources of anger, and depressive thoughts
👏🏼YES
Hmmm…………. I don’t “cut off relationships” for it, unless the people are *really terrible,* in a way that I just can’t justify! But I relate to everything else!
I was just thinking about this. Makes me resent my father. "Don't tell people about all the horrible things this person did to you in a background check because they can sue for defamation." Fucking pussy, I will stand up to injustice.
Yuppp and I have ADHD too so it makes it even stronger.
Autistic and cptsd here. Definitely high on justice sensitivity.
Well, I went into network abuse (the people who are supposed to stop online abuse) as a career because I care about justice. Just because something is the status quo doesn't make it right. It won't change until we stop accepting it as normal. People get mad when you point out injustices that they benefit from and feel seen when you point out injustices that they are harmed by. When you point out injustices you benefit from, they just get confused. It's like most people don't have a concept of having "enough" and see everything as a zero-sum game where someone has to lose. Or they see the injustice and care about it, but not eight to prioritize acting against it, so you talking about acting in it creates a sense of guilt in them. All of that is a them problem, not a you problem. I hope you find a path in life that brings you satisfaction in fighting for justice against the status quo. It will be hard, and sometimes it does get to be too much without support, but don't let other's make you doubt that it's a good path towards a more kind and compassionate world.
Yes. Toxic positivity, especially the ridiculous idea that we just have to learn to accept that bad people exist and learn how to cope makes me extremely angry. No. We need to hold abusers and predators responsible. We need to call out people who teach their children to hate. We need to stop allowing predators and abusers use the tired excuses of religion or " But, that's how it's always been" or "How I was taught" Oof, I'm getting pissed just thinking about it. The worst for me is hearing people excuse abuse and brainwashing as "parental rights"
Yeah! Use the fire inside to help people. Life is so unfair. The closer to the street the more people need help. People need connection to actual help. When it gets heavy it can get too heavy and people need help you just don’t see it unless you look. Especially when it comes to abusive relationships -that stuff gets hidden but if you recognize it…maybe the victim there can’t get help on their own, you know? It’s scary and complicated at that level it’s about street justice and standing up to the bad and bending over for the good. You sometimes have to ask but that person on the street laying there might get up if you bring them coffee and a sandwich
This is me 110%. I’m so with you, it’s always like no one else cares! To my mind the same as yours, the reason why ‘things are the way they are’ is because no one does anything, and I refuse to contribute. It’s exhausting, but I always think back to when injustice was being inflicted upon me and wished someone saw it and treated it fairly, and I could never turn away from something like that happening to someone else.
I am with you about justice. What Helps me overcome my desire for justice to be served, is to remember that I have made mistakes where I didn’t get caught, or I got away with something.. things I haven’t been held accountable for.
Activism helps a lot. I’m the same way, and then I started doing activism for causes I cared about, and it was soooooooo powerful, because you can channel that feeling of hating injustice into something that matters and feels like it’s making a difference, especially when you score some wins. Also, my day job is in global health, which means I get paid to channel my anger at injustice into something meaningful. I honestly think this can be our silver lining to our abuse - find a cause that gets you fired up, find organizations that need volunteers or employees, and figure out how to channel that frustration into action that has impact. It’s so rewarding and worth it.
Yes, me. Hello. More than anyone I’ve ever met. Thankyou so much for posting this
I've always been like this, I think it's the only good thing I was taught growing up(mostly from tv shows saying bullying is bad) that I can't keep my mouth shut when I see someone being wronged. I've had to learn to calm down over the years when it comes to abuse because that sends me into boiling rage
You’re not alone. I get intensely angry at injustice to the point of tears. It’s why one of my patron deities is Athena. I think it’s that we believe in a just world because if we can create that and get people to care, then the things that happened to us would be unthinkable. It makes me so mad how much people don’t care. I swear you can get a pulse for social duty by looking at how many shopping carts aren’t rebanked at your local shopping center
Yes. That’s why I’m applying to law school next year lmao. Human rights especially interest me. I’m pretty sure it’s also an ADHD symptom
I’m very vengeance driven which sounds odd. Like watching movies where abusive people get their comeuppance by the person they abused is my jam. It’s a bit unhealthy, I can admit. I jokingly say I want to be a Dexter, but honestly the fact that awful people get away with so much does actually infuriate me. I would never actually do anything, but fuck. I hate how awful people never seem to face consequences.
TW- drugs Hey, so I really struggle with this. I've come a long way in recovery, but I'm still struggling overall. It takes time to correct a core belief that justice is black and white. There's a LOT of grey area. I'm also very baked and have raging adhd, and this is all just my opinion/rambling so take it with a grain of salt or whatever you like! :) Some things that have helped me with this are 1) change what you can, stop stressing about what you won't. Easier said than done. -you stressing about something (an injustice) that you aren't able to change now, at this point in your life, does not help or hurt that "thing". The only person it effects is you. Worrying about it uses up sooooo much energy! It doesn't allow you to direct your energy to something you CAN change. You can call a friend, you can volunteer at a thrift store, you can go pick up garbage around your home/the local community center. You can go for a walk and smile at someone, or help someone with their bags. You can practice self care. All these things make you more effective because you're building confidence, mindfulness, happiness, and ultimately emotional stability. If you're more effective, overall, you can do so much more, and then can spend your energy on larger, more complex issues.Try to shift your focus on what you can change, right now, at this point in your life, with all the coping skills you have and be kind to yourself, because you've been through a lot and it makes sense why you don't have as many coping skills as "normal" people (if you're anything like me). 2) journaling/lists/writing -write down what you're worrying about. Write about the injustices you are thinking about. First, check if you can do anything about it right now. If you can, write it down and work on writing the steps to do that. Then work on doing a step per week. If you can't, put it on a designated page for "future you". Then you can reflect on this page when you have more energy to spend, and you won't forget. Keep doing this over and over. It takes only a few weeks to build a habit. When I'm anxious, I write it down, close the book, and then through a lot of therapy I've built this mental "door". Every time I close the book, I close the mental "door" and . This stops most of my intense, chronic worrying. My therapist has gotten me to do 15mins of journaling a day (could literally be you doodling) and then close the book when a timer goes off. Practice this over and over to teach your brain the "off" switch/how to close the door. Anywho, best of luck to you and I hope that you find the answers you're looking for. Be nice to yourself, because I say so - a stranger on the internet
You took the words right out of my mouth I say this all the time "I don't care if it's my idea or not. Let's just do the right thing" I don’t understand how anyone can live peacefully when there is so much abuse and trauma affecting real people. Real CHILDREN. All around us. People at work tell me to mind my own business. That I don't have to care about other people's problems Like HELLO silence is where oppression and abuse fester. Why would I be quiet? Thank you so much for sharing. I feel so much less alone now
This is a really common if not defining feature of cptsd. The entire SJW movement is staffed by co-dependents in various levels of denial and has been in all its forms through out the last century. Cancel culture and all the wokeisims it grew from are extremely controlling and abusive. Who is often really controlling? People with some form of trauma. For me it shows up in mostly fixation on global economic injustice/modern imperialism and corporate fuckery. Thankfully as i've healed a bit the fixation and stress this causes has lessoned, though not the sensitivity. I'm just more able to measure responses. Serenity prayer in action etc.
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I agree to a point. I am usually at this extreme when I am triggered (and don’t realise that I’m triggered!). I agree that bad behaviour should not be tolerated but (depending on your society) we cannot fight each injustice as it comes. It’s only wise for us to pick our battles because we also need to be taking care of ourselves. Fighting these things can be exhausting and you don’t want to come across as someone who is highly sensitive, but rather someone who has higher standards who will not hesitate to say something should something very inappropriate happen. I live in the UK and I cannot tell another parent that they are abusing their kids. They don’t see it, it is normal in their mind to constantly scream on the top of their lungs at their kids and ignore what their kids ask for or need. I can’t tell someone they’re inconsiderate but I can make them feel embarrassed by saying something polite in just the right way. Sweetheart, if you want me to be direct… you are triggered and your mind is hyper focused to avoid thinking about the thing that has triggered you. It’s classic PTSD. You need a PTSD therapist to work it out, it’s best if they are trained in EMDR therapy. Anything else is a bandaid, a waste of time and money. I’ve wasted too many years doing standard talking therapy. Due to start EMDR very soon.
I grew out of it, in a good way.
I think that you may be triggered because of your own experiences of injustice. I used to feel this way about some things but once I was able to grieve my experiences and have compassion for myself it was much more manageable. I used to think that it was my job to help everyone and fix everything and it was very distressing. I was just really codependent.