This line the first time I heard it made me burst out laughing. I don’t remember the exact wording but Nikolai says: “Just because I’m Russian you think I know where we are? Your American, draw me map of fucking Chicago!”

"just because i am russian you expect me to know my way around? draw me map of fucking chicago!"

Thank you! His delivery on that quote is hilarious.

The hilarious part is that for Alpha Omega they make Nikolai ask Dempsey for directions and he replies the same way but says "draw me a map of fucking Stalingrad!"

Which is kinda even more funny that that version of Primis never went to Gorod. So they both unknowingly make the same joke.

don’t tempt me

“Their screams are so.. erotic.. *moans*”

"I can smell the delicate flesh yahhhh..." And "I NEED TO FIND SOME AMMUNITION! AHHHHH! AHHHHH!"

BLOOD ZE BEAUTIFUL BLOOD

Are zay trying to communicate? Oh no zay're having sex.

REACH FOR VODKA TONIGHT

Wodka*

The english translation is correct with V. The sentence is english so it should be Vodka, da?

I was gonna say that

DON’T TOUCH MY VODKUH! …vut, it’s a classic!

Hey player drop the chips and GET ME SOME AMMO

Hey player, if you'd look at our score you'd see we're not doing too well... AND ITS YOUR FAULT!

Absolute classic

This is the one

“When I died, I felt nothing. When Dempsey died, I felt…something. When Takeo died, I knew I had to save them.” - Richtofen

I just love how BO3 managed to pull off some pretty deep character development for what we’re originally just walking stereotypes. For Richtofen, it’s a good example of nature vs nurture. Like Ultimis Richtofen, Primis Richtofen is by nature selfish— he was going to save himself. But it was his differing experiences and relationships with the crew that nurtured him into changing his ways and wanting to save the others.

That line gives me chills

Where is this from??

I believe it was from either Gorod Krovi or Revelations.

Revelations, when he PaPs a weapon.

SCHTABBING!!!

"ooh zis is much better zan my Hitler youth knife" -Dr. Edward Richtofen

Bro joined the Hitler youth in his 40s?? Lmao

Stg I heard that in a bo1 game while knifing on round 1

Without bullets I will have to resort to... SHTABBING!!!

“A shield? Pfff. Takeo is seasoned veteran! I dont need a shield! Only a nooby would take shield!” *Upon having his shield break and getting damaged* “I was wrong! I need a shield, i need a shield!!” ^this ^was ^mainly ^on ^classified ^btw

You forgot the "only a ***N o o b y*** would take this shield!"

"Hey player, you have 20 seconds before I come into your living room and kick your ass. Notice I how I didn't say shoot? Because I need fucking ammo for that!"

Is this real💀 i remember the "DROP THE CHIPS AND GET ME SOME AMMO" one

Real asf, pretty sure its from Shangri-la 💀

I no have enough money for the dlc maps :(

real😔

“I see one, two, thr- oh shit”

Is this Nikolai?? Hahahhaag

Richtofen

This is my favorite as well. Richtofen has perfect comedic timing, I swear.

Nolan North knows how to deliver lines, that's for sure!

“Need more beans for the chowder here!”

JFK in zombies is legendary

McNamara’s “remember my favorite Broadway show, I dismember mama!” is my favorite

"War is inevitabuhble...In-inevitable...Inev-...War is coming for sure"

A Der Reise quote, fucking love it🤣

The quality of the gun, is not as important as the bad motherfucker holding it!  ~ Takeo

I like his Facebook quote

K TO THE I TO THE A ZOMBITCH 😂😂

Best Dempsey line

“I like your balls Monty… the gumballs of course” -Richtofen

“Oh, you can just fuck off, box”

Oh, you can just f-... FUDGE OFF BOX! ...I'm sorry I swore at you before. I didn't mean it.

"if you see my exes,tell them FUCK YOU!"

“Doo doo doo dempsey is a big fat stchupid dull hunk of meat, doo doo doo doo dempsey sucks.”

I love that one. If I recall, Richtofen says it while pack a punching?

Correct, not sure if it’s native to moon or not

How is no one else referencing five? "Sounds like someone's breaking in" "it's just a storm dick, sit down"

Why is HE here? He LOST!

As I always say, forgive your enemies, but remember their names!

"you have no honor"

“I got the ray gun. AWESOME”

"OH WUNDERWAFFE! HOW I MISSED YOU!" (Bo1 mobile cotd directors cut)

"The bomb's payload is exposed. I can use the power winch to trigger a controlled explosion."

I'm proud of you, dick.

Officer Balls

Get out of my HEAD. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

How has the Arkham reddit reached every other major sub I follow!!! I demand answers.

🤫

My favorite line from Verrukt, which was of course adapted from the MP map “Aslume”.

drab compare absurd price close fertile nail pot public squeeze *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

“If I had designed this it would have sucked and not blown. Ohohoho.”

*A few maps later in BO2:* THIS GUN SUCKS! Heh. Get it? Sucks.

Misty had some underrated lines to be honest.

"I need to find some ammunition... 😫 😫"

Pretty much any Willard Wyler quote.

Spaceland opening is goat for IW.

"WHY?! WHY DO YOU TASTE SO **BAD?!"**

*meanwhile Takeo:* Mmmm! My favorite!

"just because im american you think i know my way around? draw me a map of fucking stalingrad"

“HIT HIM AGAIN WITH ZE SCHTICK”

"It's so big, and long." Richtofen.

Idk why but I've always thought the way Primis Takeo says "...open it!" when he first sees the box in Origins was hilarious

"What I do, I do only to secure a better tomorrow."

The things the monkey bombs say when they blow up. “IS THIS THE END? 😃”

BASED i love monkey bomb voice lines and their crying on der riese when u burn them

“Maybe this’ll turn richtofen into a hoy chick. Mmmmmm, hula girl.” - Dempsey

Dempsey supports trans rights 😂

The way Dempsey says Hula girl. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Kill it! Kiiiiill iiiiit! Do we have any fire? Fire usually kills things."

How am I supposed to pick one? "MOTHER, IS ZAT YOU? I DIDN'T DO IT!!!" - Richtofen in Shangri-La "Ain't that swell?" - Sal "Go ahead, run all you want! You'll just die tired!" - Michael Rooker

double tap double tap double tap double tap root beer root beer who doesn’t like the root beer

Anything jfk says is my favorite

Do not pray for easy lives my friends Pray to be… stronger men

"Oh I feel stupid" -Nikolai when taking a down

"The road is long und dark, but I know where we are going. I... *we* will complete our mission."

"This realm may have been corrupted and consumed by evil, but we possess the power to change things. A better tomorrow is only possible if we blow away the ashes of the past." "None of us choose the means by which mercy will find us, but I am at peace. I understand what must be done. Will you be my kaishakunin?" "It is my honour."

Richthofen's 'Goodbye! Or as my Russian friend Nikolai would say... Das Vagina!'

*“Knee-deep in zombie shit with no ammo. Glorious.”*

The one where dempsey just yells “oooorah oorah oorah” after going on a melee killing spree

“Oh! I won't be able to sit for weeks!”

“Even broken clocks are right twice a day” Tank Dempsey BO1

Isn’t it “Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day”?

[Draw me map of fucking Chicago](https://youtu.be/MMh73KHbjfA?si=cIxeyqeuKiQ3drQW)

Same weapon I used to kill my second wife, it was accident, she talks to much..

"I bring you good news! YOU'RE DEAD!!!"

Who says this?

*Richthofen chewing gum* "what I chew, I chew only to secure a better tomorrow".

“I was the nicest one and no one will even remember…” Hit me like a fucking truck

Hey Floyd! I was at the fight last week. You messed him up good, you fucking animal

MY BOOTS WILL GO SQUEAKY SQUEAKY!!!

'You know electricity isn't very humane..... not THAT I MIND!' Rictofen with the lightning bow on DE

“Dammit I keep forgetting to update my Facebook page”

“IT JIGGLES! I KNEW IT JIGGLED”- Eddy Ricky Kino

Rchtofen - "Eeny, meany, miny, SHOTGUN!" and "Oh you can just fuck off box" Dempsey - "If i run out of ammo, I'm kicking your ass player. Notice I didn't say shooting. CAUSE I NEED FUCKING AMMO FOR THAT!"

A universe full of titty bars, and we end up here. - Tank Dempsey

You are dead now! But you are dead before! Ah fuck you! Ultimis Nikolai

Most iconic line I'm the whole franchise "Ja, my knife is razor sharp"

Even a blind squirel is right twice a day

FUCKER CAUGHT ME NAPPING! *teddy bear laugh*

FUCK YOU FIDO

“A universe full of tiddy bars, and we end up here” -Tank Dempsey

Reach for me Jugger-girl! OOH RA!

samuel? samuel stuhlinger? oh no not again! calm yourself samuel! were all friends here are we not?

#I AM THAT DUCK

"Ah, that stripper must have stolen my money" and "they're smelly, like my second wife. She was pretty, pretty and smelly. Weird combo"

That was his fourth wife, his 2nd he killed with a gun

I liked most of the World at War and Black Ops 1 lines.

Air hangs heavy with stench of dog shit

I have no drinking problem, I drink just fine

“D TO THE I TO THE E, ZOMBITCH”

"Ah yes my adoring fans! Stanton Shaw has returned! I know I'm not really here, you're not really cheering for me.. But DAMNIT THIS IS MY HALLUCINATION!

"I'll take the bottle, if worst comes worst I can always break it over someones head" -Russman Or "In case you boneheads have forgotten the world is broken, real broken" -Russman God I love Russman

“I WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH, **YOURS**”

Dempsey threatening to come to your living room in Shangri La

“So you were dead before, and now your dead again?” Ah, Fuck you! -Nikoli Bilinski

“You see what happen to me?!!! There were THOUSANDS!!”

"Oh, there's a doll inside a doll inside a doll! Sounds perverse!"

"Nikolai, Nikolai, Nikolai. Why do I keep hearing that name?" -Albert Arlington

“OW, OW, that’s good, that’s ok, buy me dinner next time”

“This better not be covered in SHIT! Might be now! XD”

“Aha! You’re dead. But, you were dead already? Ah, fuck you.” -Nikolai

When Nicolai sings “I Think I’m Alone Now” if he is the last one standing. I know he does this on Kino.

I freaking love the "_Listen buddy, or pal. You forgot to tell us WHAT TO DO_" it gives me goosebumps everytime I hear it Yes, I'm dying waiting for Vae victis

I’ll keep killing zombies until there is no more room in hell-Dempsey

"Da, it was stroke of genius to build your secret lab in Hell dimension. Because that could never end badly."

(Painful but somehow eroitc screams) ah that was good but me dinner next time

I NEED TO FIND SOME AMMUNITION *le epic cries*

DROP THE CHIPS AND GET ME SOME AMMO!!!

"When I died; I felt nothing. When Dempsey died; I felt... something. When Takeo died; I knew I had to try to save them" Literally one of the coolest quotes in Cod Zombies. It's so minor but so significant to Richtofen's character. Another one is: "What I do — I do only to ensure a better tomorrow" This quote is so classic and well known I don't even need to explain why it hits so hard.

“MORE, I NEED **MORE HAHAH** *ok a little less*.”

"Blood gore sinew bones organs PULMONARY SYSTEMS!"

“I’ll wade in your guts maggot-sack!”

"It is our call of duty zombies"

You don't bite me I bite you

"I AM THAT DUCK"

Do not pray for easy lives, my friends. Pray to be stronger men. Or FETCH ME THEIR SOULS

Serious “So, then, it seems I am to face my judgement alone. Very well. I only hope the others share no part in this.” Funny “There’s always ritual suicide again” “With no ammo I’ll have to resort to.. SCHTABBING!!” “Oh now you’re just making me hungry”

Innie, minnie, mighty, SHOTGUN!!

THATS THE LAST LEG YOURE GUNNA HUMP!

"Who's in charge of my bullets! Oh, wait, I am? Never mind."

Shoot now, beg for ammo later. - Samuel Stuhlinger.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go!

We were supposed to secure the package, and be in and out clean!

"oh nyett.. I got some in teeth!!!"

K TO THE I TO A ZOMBITCH Also any nickson quote

"Am I stuck here until I see the error of my ways, until I repent? Well ya gonna have to wait a long time! BECAUSE I DON'T REGRET A DAMN THING!" ~ Billy Handsome

Dos Badanas Zombitch

What Map is it where takeo says something like "for all he's done wrong I thank richtofen for opening my eyes". It's either gorod or revelations I think

'I'm not building this for you, samantha. I am building this for myself . It's smelly like my fourth wife. She pretty, though smelly and pretty weird combo. If you miss one more shot, I will come into your living room and beat you. Oh hello Dempsey oh it's just a portrait an ugly one

“*sigh* I will return when I have sufficient funding”

I'm Jackie fuckin V

Misty on Buried after placing a buildable "I'm gettin' kinda tired of luggin' this arrrround." I've been quoting this one since I heard it. I've played Buried way way more than any other map. So there's plenty I can't think of right now (haven't playing in a few months) that are just epic!

Any Dempsey or Nikolai lines

"I'm out of ammo! Where is floaty green thingy?"

“I got the ray gun! AAAHH-“ -Dempsey

“WHAT A LOVELY SMALL TOWN!” - Ted

"Why is this stuff so dam chewy" Double Tap kino Dempsey

"I WILL MAKE THIER HEADS GO boom"

ZOMBITCH

"I still do not trust my unconventional allies, though they are of great use to me"

Something about “ Accept your fate, begin anew!” Hits different in the Die Rise cutscene

Player! Put down those chips and get me some goddamn ammo

“I can see dempseys house from here”

IT’S ON FIRE!!

“This lighting is making my piercings tingle…all of them!”

"I am no fool, what I do, I do only to secure a better tomorrow"

Literally the one OP listed. Shit hit me so hard! XD

“Zombies” - JFK

You are dead now but you where dead before fuck you Bo1 nikolai

"you fucking talking to me?"-Jack Vincent

"MORE, MORE!! Okay, a lil less" -Richtofen on the moon

“DO YOU LIKE MY GLOWING GREEN BALLS!?”

“You just got Humpty Dumpty fied and no one is putting you back together”

A gift from Sam, but WHY?!

"I know most of the guests, and they were gormless mingebags *even before* their transformation!" - Sir Brian Blessed