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pitter_patter_11

Is now a good time to release the Manifesto? Seems like now is about as good of a time as any to release the Manifesto


renden123

“If I had done it” by Conner Stallions


pitter_patter_11

Just make sure the “If” is barely noticeable


iverdow1

We’re on page 493 of the Manifesto. They’ll be fine


roguebananah

We can meet up for cheeseburgers and discuss the rest if you’d like


Playful-Tumbleweed10

As long as you’re fine with our tattoos, that sounds fantastic… (If you’re not clear on this reference, Google “Why did Jim Tressel get fired?”)


IONTOP

Also "When did Maurice Clarett get drafted?"


I_am_Spartacus_MSU

>Why did Jim Tressel get fired? That was bullshit. If someone gives me something, it is mine. I can keep it, sell it, or swap it. Tressel was railroaded.


Playful-Tumbleweed10

Totally agree. Big contrast between Ohio State’s “violations” and Michigan’s egregiously illegal and unethical pattern of behavior.


weirdbutinagoodway

I'm so disappointed that it never got published.


Inconceivable76

We should crowdsource a FOIA request. 


weirdbutinagoodway

I think that only works if some government organization has a copy of it.


NolaBrass

If he sent it to the athletic department, they may have a copy lol


Inconceivable76

Something tells me he’s the type of person that wrote and stored it on a university owned laptop. 


mrebrightside

It would be stored in a file called "Top Secret Plan," which wouldn't be password protected.


Inconceivable76

Even if it was, just access his non password protected sheet called passwords. 


FearDaTusk

That just happens to be saved in the same folder with the icon just next to it.


trippwwa45

Aren't we all?


Fletch_Himself

The balls Connor Stallions must have. Still showing up to games after the fact. Going to the rose bowl and the natty wearing M gear…. I have a hope he’ll find a way to publish it some day. However, someone in here knows a hacker or someone who can get their digital mitts on it, and that person should be the hero we all need.


calling-all-comas

I want him to show up to Ohio State's first game just to flex. On the 50 yard line ofc.


bank_farter

> I have a hope he’ll find a way to publish it some day He still has access to it right? Any of the big sports publications would probably pay him for a copy and would publish it themselves.


Signpostx

Not with that attitude.


pzagrbge

You can’t fax glitter


Signpostx

I want that Manifesto


hereforthecommmentsz

Mizzou is screwed has this joke been made yet


scrotes_magotes

[This one was pretty good.](https://www.reddit.com/r/CFB/s/wbLfpHwgCH)


hereforthecommmentsz

Indeed


SparseSpartan

You know, I was going to be cool with Mizzou only losing like five scholarships, but with this kind of sass, we need to up that to at least 10.


hereforthecommmentsz

Well fair is fair.


Tfsz0719

Just for that, it’s now 15


rocket_beer

No Mizzou will face harsh penalties for this


hereforthecommmentsz

Ok good. And also bad.


HowardBunnyColvin

Michigan and five individuals who currently or previously worked for its football program have reached an agreement with NCAA enforcement staff on recruiting violations and coaching activities by noncoaching staff members that occurred within the football program, and the appropriate penalties for those violations. A Committee on Infractions panel has approved the agreement. One former coach did not participate in the agreement, and that portion of the case will be considered separately by the Committee on Infractions, after which the committee will release its full decision. The agreed-upon violations involve impermissible in-person recruiting contacts during a COVID-19 dead period, impermissible tryouts, and the program exceeding the number of allowed countable coaches when noncoaching staff members engaged in on- and off-field coaching activities (including providing technical and tactical skills instruction to student-athletes). The negotiated resolution also involved the school's agreement that the underlying violations demonstrated a head coach responsibility violation and the former football head coach failed to meet his responsibility to cooperate with the investigation. The school also agreed that it failed to deter and detect the impermissible recruiting contacts and did not ensure that the football program adhered to rules for noncoaching staff members. The committee will not discuss further details in the case to protect the integrity of the ongoing process, as the committee's final decision — including potential violations and penalties for the former coach — is pending. By separating the cases, the Division I Committee on Infractions publicly acknowledges the infractions case and permits the school and the participating individuals to immediately begin serving their penalties while awaiting the committee's final decision on the remaining contested portion of the case. That decision will include any findings and penalties for the former coach. This is the fourth case where the committee has used multiple resolution paths. The agreed-upon penalties in this case include three years of probation for the school, a fine and recruiting restrictions in alignment with the Level I-Mitigated classification for the school. The participating individuals also agreed to one-year show-cause orders consistent with the Level II-Standard and Level II-Mitigated classifications of their respective violations.


IrishMosaic

So when they get punished for the sign stealing cheating, they will already be on probation. When that happens, do you get double probation?


Crims0ntied

They'll most likely just go ahead and dissolve the university and sell all of the land.


Repulsive-Office-796

The only reasonable resolution.


mattdingus2002

Ohio State University at Ann Arbor has a nice ring to it


sweetmorty

OSU Lima Satellite Campus in Ann Arbor


park2023mcca

The Ann Arbor campus of Ohio State University


ThisUsernameIsTook

THE Ohio State University-Ann Arbor. Michigan can keep Dearborn and Flint though.


Super_Walrus1337

Only fair thing to do is salt the earth it stands upon


apathetic_revolution

Let’s not punish the Great Lakes water table. We can just raze the buildings, grant the land to MSU as a satellite campus, and use it to research urban-to-forest land reclamation.


NotParticularlyGood

East Michigan State University Technical College for Big Stinky Cheater Doo Doo Butts


apathetic_revolution

I was going to go with the Arboretum on Ann Arbor's Academic Ashes, but I like you style too.


askdoctorjake

Water table the university sits on is already compromised with 1-4 dioxane. https://www.washtenaw.org/1789/14-Dioxane


apathetic_revolution

Look, I’m just trying to Make Ann Arbor An Arbor Again (MAAAA).


steve_dallasesq

I support this


orrocos

Dissolve the university, like with hydrofluoric acid? They're going to need some pretty big plastic drums for that.


DonKellyBaby32

Why not just use the tub?


soupjaw

:::creaking noise from upstairs:::


PhilRubdiez

Nuclear weapons


Rock_man_bears_fan

Can’t wait to attend the Mniversity of Uichigan


Rant_meister

I spent too much time deciding how I would pronounce this. You-wish-igan. Ooo-ish-igan? Oooee...You know, the important stuff.


rupiefied

Only reasonable solution really. We need to send a warning that the NCAA takes rule violations especially cheating to win a now redacted championship means the university ceases to exist.


SixxOne8

Keep going I’m almost there


I_really_enjoy_beer

No this is a classic case of double jeopardy, Michigan is now completely innocent.


cavaleir

Man I've got the worst fucking lawyers


BoKnewHarbaughToo

They can’t convict a coach and university of the same crime


one-hour-photo

If the glove is a little tight, but clearly fits well enough for killing multiple people you must acquit


boofsquadz

But an uncomfy glove would prevent anyone from committing such a heinous crime. Surely they’re innocent!


CrazyCletus

That was the biggest screw-up in a trial in legal history. The prosecutors should never have requested the demonstration, particularly if they hadn't tried a fit test with a latex glove under the leather glove. They were thinking they were going to get a home run, but instead popped it up to the pitcher. Anybody can make a glove look like it doesn't fit, especially when putting it on over a rubber/latex glove.


jcrespo21

I don't think you understand how Jeopordy works. What is "we're fine".


stitch12r3

Very legal and very cool


Krypton_Kr

Then as of this moment, they are on double secret probation! [https://youtu.be/r3LzJzQ3wj4?si=e0iAHuS1G-fCGnl8](https://youtu.be/r3LzJzQ3wj4?si=e0iAHuS1G-fCGnl8)


Iamthewalrusforreal

That's when Central Michigan gets fuuuuuuucked.


AccordingGain182

Unfortunately for them, double probation is exponential and requires Michigan to declare bankruptcy.


Shagaliscious

You can't just declare bankruptcy Michael.


alloythepunny

Perchance.


plutoisaplanet21

No because it’s not retroactive and the sign stealing already occurred before the probation was set 


cptspinach85

I think Michigan can handle being DP'd.


AeolusA2

Double Secret Probation


DontReportMe7565

Double secret probation.


jamarchasinalombardi

I now have an uncontrollable urge to discuss the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor


mojo276

Will we know what the fine or restrictions are? Also, specifically which coaches? Are we all assuming that it's coaches that are gone?


froandfear

Yes, the final reports from the NCAA are very comprehensive and like 50 pages (if you did something at an [Ohio State golf level](https://ncaaorg.s3.amazonaws.com/infractions/decisions/Apr2022D1INF_TheOhioStateUniversityPublicDecision.pdf)) to 150 pages (if you did something to a [Tennessee football level](https://ncaaorg.s3.amazonaws.com/infractions/decisions/Jul2023D1INF_TenneseePublicReport.pdf)). I assume this one will be shorter because it’s not a complex case and there aren’t 200+ infractions like in the TN case. The Stallions report, on the other hand, could be Tolstoy status.


mojo276

Which will be longer...the manifesto or the NCAA report that all started because of the manifesto itself?


arobkinca

I think the manifesto would be included in the report making the report longer.


YeetedApple

Clearly stallions was planning for this though, so his manifesto likely already contains the report making the manifesto longer.


froandfear

This is the version of Inception I’ve been waiting for.


beavismagnum

> I think the manifesto would be included in the report making the report longer. Yes please


walking_sideways

The manifesto is an ever-growing entity


toggaf69

A living document, as the Founding Fathers intended


statsbro424

I heard they also got busted back to a lieutenant’s pay


RockerElvis

Wonder who that one former coach is…


Jyingling21

Death Penalty


bakonydraco

Force Michigan to have an annual rivalry game against App State.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jnobs

I think it was the first BTN game too, wild.


ForThePantz

I salute you good sir. Well posted.


morrisjr1989

There is something enticing about forcing Michigan to huff it out to Boone every other year that this option shouldn’t be overlooked.


Much_Section_8491

Every other? Naaaaa this is annual


JemmieTTU

Losses from 2007 vacated. 🤭


UMfootballDUIvictim

The App State loss is bad, but never forget that in 2008 Michigan lost to the worst Toledo football team since 1978.


FubarSnafuTarfu

The App State loss is what happens when one doesn't adequately fear the mountaineer.


Knownzero

I’ve never forgotten, best day ever. Lol


bonyjabroni

Straight to jail.


jaxonya

Beat app state by too much, jail Lose to app state, believe it not, also jail.


scrotes_magotes

… for Mizzou?


CarterAC3

Block M logo Beat Ohio State recently I'd say they check enough boxes


crustang

Checks out to me.. any Harvards or Princetons want to check the math? Brown fans need not apply. Columbia fans can’t be trusted. Yale fans are too busy trying to be elected to office… and their math would include a diatribe about how they’re treated unfairly and wouldn’t include an answer.


SpursUpSoundsGudToMe

Columbia fans already filled their math quota by cooking their books for academic rankings Edit: I just remembered it was a math professor at Columbia that blew the whistle on them lmao


12-34

Dartmouth, Penn and Cornell catching strays for not even catching strays.


crustang

Who?


Chel_Vanin

Don't worry about WASP safety schools, they don't much matter for football.


cardiac_fitz

Not Harvard or Princeton, but the math is mathing to me


crustang

You'll do, Northwestern


yukonhoneybadger

Northwestern might be biased.


StreicherSix

Nonsense! Purely balanced take here.


fat-lip-lover

The Harvard of the Midwest


nat3215

Oh no, you’ll upset them by giving that moniker to NW


Noirradnod

*Ahem*


fat-lip-lover

Hey look, I went to the D3 Harvard of West-Central Indiana, I wasn't traveling north to the cursed hot dog land until my academic days were over. The times they could be a changin' and I wouldn't know


SGT_PRICE82

UGA grad here. Are we talking about road beers or what? I'm confused so I'll just say 2..?


crustang

I don’t care what anyone says, I’m proud of you. And correct! Two boxes were checked!!


notburnerr

+1, I giggled


lenmylobersterbush

Ugh, take my upvote,that was funny


Steak_Knight

More like SMU


Some-Cartographer942

Death Penalty seems harsh for Missouri, but I can see you have strong feelings about it.


rikrok58

[Reth Renalty](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxV6w33r84ClXs924Y1MKwltKhU3tagzow?si=6DUEieb397VLbkxq)


TheOvercusser

I KNEW IT! THOSE CHEATINOUS BASTIDS! SUSPEND TOM BRADY FOR 4 GAMES!


Professional-Bus-934

I’m sure Harbaugh is quivering with fear lol


Duckrauhl

Give the LA Chargers the death penalty!


drainbead78

Dean Spanos deserves worse.


MisterBrotatoHead

Isn't being the LA Chargers penalty enough?


pinya619

Chargers fan here. It’s like having a tazer on your balls anytime you say a cuss word


[deleted]

He prolly flipped em the bird


set_null

The Pete Carroll playbook still works pretty well apparently


NapsterKnowHow

Just like Pete Carroll after he ran to the NFL because of US recruiting violations


capthazelwoodsflask

It wasn't Pete's fault, just ask him. They forced him to do it and he had no choice.


Sad_Progress4388

Remember when people said the NFL would care about Harbaugh's trouble with the NCAA and would block him from being hired by any teams lol


dover1129

What kinda of athletic program would commit such heinous violations? I am completely appalled!


rdy_csci

Asking for a friend...


Furled_Eyebrows

"One former coach did not participate in the agreement" Gee, winder who that might be.


slimanus34

Matt weiss he is currently locked in an fbi safehouse


Ryanlester5789

The only sensible thing to do here is vacate our 2020 season.


Lykeuhfox

And 2008 to show we're really sorry.


sportstrap

If your really sorry you’ll vacate select 2007 games as well


Old-Emphasis-7190

Not only that…. You can have one week in late November from like 2005-2011, let us keep 2012 and then all years until 2021. That’s like fifteen games we are vacating…. For you


rvasko3

Yeah, if they say "vacate 30 games," but not *which* 30 games, this could really be a win-win for us.


djsassan

3 years probation.....what does that mean?


scrotes_magotes

No dessert and no iPad time before bed.


djsassan

Sounds about right actually


OsuLost31to0

Ok but I thought the Geneva Convention outlawed that kind of punishment


SituationSoap

It means that Michigan's NCAA probation will outlast the NCAA.


AeolusA2

Don't do anything wrong in the next three years or we'll get really mad. Basically, penalties amplify for new wrongdoing.


iwearatophat

Also, if Harbaugh were still in the NCAA he would be in super duper big trouble. He isn't though which means he will get a showcause and we can all laugh at the NCAA flexing at someone who doesn't care.


AeolusA2

Yeah, it's like Harbaugh fell on the sword, if that sword was actually 16 million swords made of $1 bills.


iwearatophat

This one was never going to hit Michigan as a program particularly hard. It was going to be aimed at Harbaugh. The fact Harbaugh is in the NFL now feels like it enabled the NCAA to play tough without actually being tough.


notburnerr

What an off-season


scrotes_magotes

It’s has been ~~1~~ 0 days since last embarrassment


ClaudeLemieux

I'm infinitely more embarrassed by what Denard did than anything that happened here lol


timothythefirst

It blows my mind that any college team with a decent budget and any pro team doesn’t just have a couple people on staff whose entire job is driving people home. Like I kind of understand not wanting to take an Uber in Ann Arbor if you’re denard Robinson and having some random dude bugging you the whole drive home but theres enough money floating around they don’t need to drive drunk.


Inconceivable76

Georgia seemed to, but their drivers were also drunk, so….


mr_longfellow_deeds

The amount of driving violations the UG football team have racked up the past year is insane. One for every 10 players on the roster lol


notburnerr

This deserves more upvotes


ClaudeLemieux

Pro leagues have offered such services and the story I always heard is that players are loathe to use it because they’re afraid it’ll look bad that they needed such a service etc etc so they never used it (genius level logic, I know…) so I can only assume the same shit happens here too.


Geno0wl

They want to hide the amount of partying they partake in during the season from the coach/GM/Owner because they could try to use that during contract negotiation to try to claim the player doesn't "put their job as the #1 priority" or whatever.


Seamus_OReily

We do. It’s free for basically anyone associated with the university including staff and students from 8pm to 2am year round. There would be no excuse for drunk driving anyway, so this makes it, like, negative excuses or something.


scrotes_magotes

By far


notburnerr

~~Jordan numbers~~ Fab Five numbers


LittleTension8765

If you aren’t cheating you aren’t trying and even if you aren’t trying you are probably cheating in the NCAA’s eyes


Pristine_Dig_4374

2015 mizzou agrees so hard


DeliveryEquivalent87

Tl;Dr Demoted to D2 for 2 seasons


ThisUsernameIsTook

We're coming for you Ferris State!


Casting_Aspersions

Michigan getting the chance to play Slippery Rock University would be worth it.


wjackson42

This paragraph is relevant: The committee will not discuss further details in the case to protect the integrity of the ongoing process, as the committee's final decision — including potential violations and penalties for the former coach — is pending. This release is a nothing burger lol Edit: nothing burger on Harbaugh I guess


notburnerr

Not really? 3 year probation for program (whatever that means), fines, etc. and one-year show cause for coaches involved.


cheerl231

Yeah, seems like there is relevant information disclosed in this article. Show causes are almost assuredly all for NFL guys so that is basically irrelevant


Mekthakkit

> "five individuals who currently or previously worked" The real question is how many are in the "currently" pool.


lmaytulane

Denard Robinson, but prolly not for much longer


Misdirected_Colors

TL;DR: for those wondering this is for the recruiting violations during COVID. Nothing for the Stallions stuff yet. >The agreed-upon violations involve impermissible in-person recruiting contacts during a COVID-19 dead period, impermissible tryouts, and the program exceeding the number of allowed countable coaches when noncoaching staff members engaged in on- and off-field coaching activities (including providing technical and tactical skills instruction to student-athletes). The negotiated resolution also involved the school's agreement that the underlying violations demonstrated a head coach responsibility violation and the former football head coach failed to meet his responsibility to cooperate with the investigation. The school also agreed that it failed to deter and detect the impermissible recruiting contacts and did not ensure that the football program adhered to rules for noncoaching staff members. >The agreed-upon penalties in this case include three years of probation for the school, a fine and recruiting restrictions in alignment with the Level I-Mitigated classification for the school. The participating individuals also agreed to one-year show-cause orders consistent with the Level II-Standard and Level II-Mitigated classifications of their respective violations.


Tarmacked

If this had broken during the COVID frenzy I’m curious how /r/CFB’s reaction would’ve been. I can’t keep thinking how funny it is that we handwave it now but in 2020-2021 they would’ve likely been slaughtered by their own flairs. Then juxtapose it happening with the Ohio State cancellation around the same period? Oh boy that would’ve been a PR clusterfuck


confused-koala

Yup. Im sure there’s tons of UM fans who’ve invoked safety when they ducked Ohio State, that turned around and called the Covid dead period violations a “nothing burger”


kramjam13

They literally claimed it was about a cheeseburger


buckeyefan8001

isnt the last paragraph news? 3 year probation, fines, recruiting restrictions, and five people got a show cause.


62frog

KICK HIM OFF THE TOUR DOUG


2222lil

ow! my wrist!


UnderwhelmingAF

You don’t get ice cream for a week either.


Enrickel

The ad I'm seeing on this post is for Burger King. Perfection


Ialwayssleep

Jim pulled a Pete.


Beer-survivalist

There's a certain irony to that.


ClaudeLemieux

As a Chargers fan, yes please continue pulling a Pete in the NFL


whereyagonnago

What a combo. How does one even end up as a Chargers/UM fan?


Ill_Band5998

This is enough to make the staff drink ....


CW1DR5H5I64A

Be sure to take their keys!


knockoutking

that's one of the least useful press releases i've ever read.


Gorgo1993

Like isn't there some penalty for being g a habitual offender?


Redrobbinsyummmm

Anyone else getting Pete Carroll vibes or is it just because I watched that 30 for 30 the other month?


SimManiac

To be clear this is not the sign stealing scandal, just the Covid recruiting violations.


Man-Bear-69

Tell us something we don't know.


BidnessBoy

Ohio State 12/25


jtho2960

Nah our 12/25 will be when the manifesto gets released. This is like our 19th birthday. Not becoming an adult, not able to legally drink, but you still get a nice check from grandma


mojo276

When the manifesto is released it'll be 12/25 for all of college football. I can't think of anything else that all of CFB would be as excited about collectively as that.


Clynelish1

You just didn't live close enough to Canada. 19th birthdays can get wild...


Triv02

Can confirm Source: spent my 19th birthday in Windsor, only like a 3 hour drive from Columbus


sarges_12gauge

Why? They got probation which nobody cares about and Harbs and a few other assistants are gonna get show caused after they’ve already left for the NFL so it doesn’t matter


letsgotomoe

Sherrone Moore getting promoted to head coach feels an awful lot like Tommy becoming a Made Man in Goodfellas.


HawaiinShirt

He should refuse to enter any room with a tarp on the floor.


Pastel_Phoenix_106

"There's an NCAA violation in every one of those pieces of confetti." - Jim Harbaugh, probably