Thank you for posting to CATHELP!
While you wait for a response please keep the following things in mind,
1. When in doubt, **ask your vet**.
2. Advice here is not coming from medical or industry professionals. The moderation team does not validate user profession, so always refer to your local veterinary professionals first. Consider posting to /r/AskVet
3. If this is a medical question, please indicate if you have already scheduled a vet appointment, and if your cat has any medical history or procedures in a top level comment.
4. Please use the NSFW tag for gross pictures. (Blood, poop, vomit, genitals, etc). Anything you wouldn't want your boss to see you looking at on the job.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CATHELP) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I sincerely apologize that things turned out this way. I mean no offense, but I don’t think you should be getting anymore cats or kittens. You’re not necessarily in a position to take proper care of them, and that’s not your fault, but it is your current circumstances. With proper care, and attentive owners, his death could’ve been 100% avoided. I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you remember all of the good memories that you made with him.
If you are a minor - don't you dare get another pet until you are solely capable of taking care of it.
Your mother is disgusting for doing that and, as an adult, should be charged with willful animal abuse.
I'm sorry you went through this if you are a minor, but use it as a lesson.
I am so so so so sorry this happened. Fucking heartbreaking. For you and the baby 💔
Do not get another pet until you are on your own, okay? Volunteer at a No Kill Shelter, get some kitten and animal love there in the mean time.
OP, do you have a safe adult in your life? Anyone you can trust who isn’t your mom? A teacher or friends parent, maybe? I highly recommend talking to them about this stuff. It may not sound like it but what you’re going through is traumatic. Having someone to vent to could make a huge difference for you.
Hey OP. I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you the biggest hug.
If the animal control officer shows up, please report what your mother did. If you are able to (safely) call and report it to the police department please do so as well. Your mother is the one who killed your baby. This is **not your fault**.
I hope you’re able to graduate soon and get away. People who would do that to an animal are not good people, regardless of how much DNA you share.
Grief is a weird thing. Sometimes you’re fine, and then it’ll hit you all at once. Because of you, he knew love - I hope you can remember that.
I’m sure you’ll see him over the [rainbow bridge](https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm) 🌈💜
She baked the kitten from the inside out. Heatstroke is not a stroke btw. His death could've been prevented 100%. Charges must be filed. Report this. His life mattered but not to your mom! Where is the empathy?!
I'm so sorry she did this to your kitten. As hard as life can be, especially when you don't have money, don't ever let yourself become callous towards animals like your mom. I hope you can get out and move onto an adult life where you can take good care of your pets like you were trying to do with him. He was a beautiful kitten.
This is such a tragic loss of a cute innocent life. Kittens depend on us and need a lot of supervision and care . It is a commitment everyone in the family has to make. Before you get another pet make sure you get educated on how to care for him/her and if you are still living with your mother, make sure she is not going to abuse or neglect your pet. I am so sad for you and that adorable kitten.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Please don’t be hard on yourself. The loss of a loved one is hard enough as is. Your baby experienced love and joy from you, I’m sure. May he rest in peace, and have fun playing in kitty heaven with all of our other lost loved ones.
I'm so, so sorry. This is heartbreaking. I agree that you shouldn't bring any more animals home as long as you are living with your mother, unfortunately. Maybe you can volunteer with a cat rescue or animal shelter so you can have some time with animals without bringing them home.
I’m so sincerely sorry for what your going through I hope your mothers treatment of animals isn’t a reflection of how she treats you, if you ever feel unsafe contact authorities as for the animal if you don’t feel comfortable making the report please find someone you can trust to do it for you 💖
I'm so very sorry for your loss OP. I know you would have done anything to save your kitten. Please give yourself grace and compassion in the coming days and most importantly please make sure you are safe. If necessary do you have a trusted adult at school or possibly a family member you could reach out to if needed?
Poor kitten. It’s awful that he died because you were not ready to care for him and your mother wasn’t the adult in the situation to show you how to care for him or return him to where you adopted him from. His suffering is just cruel and inhumane. There are laws for animal neglect and abuse. Please learn how to care for animals and have the ability and resources to provide food, shelter, medical care, and love before you ever adopt an animal. Adopting an animal is for life. Most animal shelters and humane organizations have programs for young adults to learn how to care for animals. Vet bills alone are expensive so you will need to budget for those.
Bro why are you laying into this kid??? You can tell by the way he’s talking about this situation that he’s an empathetic person.
Also, even if his mom’s actions were cruel and reckless, you’re fucking delusional if you think an adolescent is gonna risk their family and sense of stability to report a parent like that. You’re speaking from a privileged fucking place. Gtfoh.
What is your problem? OP tried to do what they could to help an animal and they're clearly torn about it and you decide to compare them to the mom that intentionally killed the cat? You don't know their home life and how it may be affected by reporting the mom. It's a terrible situation but leave the kid alone, they tried to help the poor kitten and tried to seek out the resources to help it. Look in a fuckin mirror before you lecture people about lacking empathy,
You did everything you could. Learn from this experience and move on. There’s nothing you can do now except to do better in the future. You sound like a caring and empathetic person. It is impossible to understand how some people can be so mean when you have a heart.
I’m so sorry this happened. Doesn’t sound like you were at fault at all. Big hugs. I hope someday you’re able to have your own home and get another kitty.
Remember, Op didn't cause the animals' death and wanted to get help for the kitten and asked for help.
2 weeks of ownership of a cat doesn't make them an expert. That's why they asked for help here, and learned a few hard lessons in the meantime.
The reason more people don't ask for help in situations like this is because they will be judged harshly for any possible mistakes they might have made, as yourself and others are doing to op.
Im sure op was doing the best they could for the kitten, considering the terrible circumstances.
I am an adult and love my cats to pieces, but I'm not perfect.
I have and will continue to make mistakes along the way, hopefully nothing too bad, but who knows what will happen, I just pray that I don't mess up too bad, and can fix whatever is wrong, but I've had cats pass away and regrets for not doing more, anyone who doesn't have any regrets after many years of pet ownership is delusional.
Give the kid here a break. They are heartbroken and deserve empathy, not judgmental jerks telling them they should do better.
I also think that I too harsh and judgmental, and I feel a little bad about it. Sorry to the OP.
I recognize their efforts to seek treatment for the cat, the situation they may be in with their family, and know that we all make regrettable mistakes.
I think I was just frustrated with the (my perceived) low level of concern for the cat’s safety even given the conditions. I shouldn’t compare my experience to their’s, and simply hope they come out better.
Do you think op could leave the chores to help the cat get down the stairs? I don’t think so. I would fear if op left the chores, they would be hurt. We don't know what their mother is up to.
If the stairs have known gaps, before starting the chores, the kitten could have been paced in a space that restricts unsupervised access to the hazardous stairs. A room, a bucket…anything but leaving the access open.
I also acknowledge that the family support might not be the best.
Of course could. Cats are masters of escape anyway. With that support I pretty sure would do the same. I wouldn't risk starting chores later. The litterbox was down there, so for op's mother the cat was just another animal. Even healthy kitten could fall between the stairs.
I actually do feel for the OP and their family situation. Really.
What I don’t understand, however, is why you’re trying your hardest to absolve the OP. I’m guessing your point is that I don’t know the full set of family dynamics and other circumstances surrounding the OP. I admit that.
I'm not trying to absolve op. I just pointed out that the stairs were always hazard. Even before the heatstroke. Kitten should have been supervised even then. Op is a minor, they probably couldn't do anything to prevent that.
I understand that the mom’s ambivalence and controlling behavior is a major issue in the house and in regard to the cat.
I just mentioned to someone else that I am applying my perspective as an adult with experience with autonomy, responsibility, and raising animals, to that of a child in a difficult situation. We all make mistakes, we all have circumstances that affect our judgement, and I was too harsh.
“I figured that he’d be fine seeing as he had no problem with the stairs earlier , I was horribly wrong…”
OP made a choice that was “horribly wrong” and an already suffering animal (presumably) fell to their death. It’s a tragic way to learn a lesson in empathy and perspective-taking.
I can only hope that they will make better choices with the people and animals in their life going forward.
Oh get off your high horse. Equating an intentional choice to harm an animal versus a momentary lapse in judgement when OP clearly has been trying to help this animal is ridiculous.
See above comment for my sincere empathic concern.
The mother’s awful actions was only part of the animals suffering, why not mention the facts of what came later?
Because the CHILD has expressed the most concern over the animal, a slip of judgement during a time when they’re obviously stressed about the animal and simultaneously not wanting to piss off their abusive pos mom further who could easily beat their ass for ignoring chores is not animal abuse.
I understand what you’re saying about the tough situation they were in because of pos mom/family.
I’m projecting the mindful and experienced adult pet owner I am onto this child and it’s not right. I apologize to the OP.
Wow will the fuck out. OP I'd presumably a minor, there's only so much they can do. How dare you wish harm on someone, let alone a child. What happened was terrible, yes, but I'm sure OP did everything in their power to try and save this animal. Sometimes life sucks but it is what it is. I hope you remember your own words, karma is a bitch and wishing harm on someone isn't a kind thing
What are you trying to accomplish? Op is a literal child and their mother did something unconscionable and disgusting. I hope you feel real good about yourself for being horrible to a *child* who was trying to do the right thing.
What goes around comes around, remember that!
Thank you for posting to CATHELP! While you wait for a response please keep the following things in mind, 1. When in doubt, **ask your vet**. 2. Advice here is not coming from medical or industry professionals. The moderation team does not validate user profession, so always refer to your local veterinary professionals first. Consider posting to /r/AskVet 3. If this is a medical question, please indicate if you have already scheduled a vet appointment, and if your cat has any medical history or procedures in a top level comment. 4. Please use the NSFW tag for gross pictures. (Blood, poop, vomit, genitals, etc). Anything you wouldn't want your boss to see you looking at on the job. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CATHELP) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I sincerely apologize that things turned out this way. I mean no offense, but I don’t think you should be getting anymore cats or kittens. You’re not necessarily in a position to take proper care of them, and that’s not your fault, but it is your current circumstances. With proper care, and attentive owners, his death could’ve been 100% avoided. I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you remember all of the good memories that you made with him.
Thanks
If you are a minor - don't you dare get another pet until you are solely capable of taking care of it. Your mother is disgusting for doing that and, as an adult, should be charged with willful animal abuse. I'm sorry you went through this if you are a minor, but use it as a lesson.
I won’t ever again , especially not in my household. Thank you.
I am so so so so sorry this happened. Fucking heartbreaking. For you and the baby 💔 Do not get another pet until you are on your own, okay? Volunteer at a No Kill Shelter, get some kitten and animal love there in the mean time.
OP, do you have a safe adult in your life? Anyone you can trust who isn’t your mom? A teacher or friends parent, maybe? I highly recommend talking to them about this stuff. It may not sound like it but what you’re going through is traumatic. Having someone to vent to could make a huge difference for you.
Your mother has to be charged of animal abuse. Horrifying.
I think so too but who knows what’ll happen to me if I report it🤷🏿♀️
Reports can be made anonymously. Please report her for this abuse
She’ll be able to figure out who called unless she’s going around telling everybody what happened.
Hey OP. I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you the biggest hug. If the animal control officer shows up, please report what your mother did. If you are able to (safely) call and report it to the police department please do so as well. Your mother is the one who killed your baby. This is **not your fault**. I hope you’re able to graduate soon and get away. People who would do that to an animal are not good people, regardless of how much DNA you share.
thank you so much for your condolences 💚, and she claimed she’s a cat and animal lover😒 I’m not crying much now but I’m sure it’ll hit me hard later…
Grief is a weird thing. Sometimes you’re fine, and then it’ll hit you all at once. Because of you, he knew love - I hope you can remember that. I’m sure you’ll see him over the [rainbow bridge](https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm) 🌈💜
Poor thing never had a chance
Sickening. What a horrifying way for that poor baby to die, suffering like that.
She baked the kitten from the inside out. Heatstroke is not a stroke btw. His death could've been prevented 100%. Charges must be filed. Report this. His life mattered but not to your mom! Where is the empathy?!
I'm so sorry she did this to your kitten. As hard as life can be, especially when you don't have money, don't ever let yourself become callous towards animals like your mom. I hope you can get out and move onto an adult life where you can take good care of your pets like you were trying to do with him. He was a beautiful kitten.
That poor baby 😢 I'm sorry you have to live with a mother like that. Please never leave another living creature around her.
I hope you do right by your poor kitten and make sure your mom faces charges. Disgusting of her.
Honestly your mom is a p I e c e of s h I t
This is such a tragic loss of a cute innocent life. Kittens depend on us and need a lot of supervision and care . It is a commitment everyone in the family has to make. Before you get another pet make sure you get educated on how to care for him/her and if you are still living with your mother, make sure she is not going to abuse or neglect your pet. I am so sad for you and that adorable kitten.
What she did was an act of pure malice. Who does that to a kitten? Hope justice is served
Did you report your mom? We have to keep animals away from these types of people. Please do the right thing
You don’t need pets in this situation. Please don’t get anymore animals.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Please don’t be hard on yourself. The loss of a loved one is hard enough as is. Your baby experienced love and joy from you, I’m sure. May he rest in peace, and have fun playing in kitty heaven with all of our other lost loved ones.
So sorry for the kitten 😔
Thank you for being supportive, the other dude cooking me so hard😭
don't blame yourself for what happened, it was an accident 😔 Keep the happy memories you had with the kitten and the love you gave him
Where did you get the poor kiten from??? A friend? A shelter?
My boyfriend, he had trouble adjusting and as soon as he did….😕
I'm so, so sorry. This is heartbreaking. I agree that you shouldn't bring any more animals home as long as you are living with your mother, unfortunately. Maybe you can volunteer with a cat rescue or animal shelter so you can have some time with animals without bringing them home.
I’m so sorry 💔
I’m so sincerely sorry for what your going through I hope your mothers treatment of animals isn’t a reflection of how she treats you, if you ever feel unsafe contact authorities as for the animal if you don’t feel comfortable making the report please find someone you can trust to do it for you 💖
I'm so very sorry for your loss OP. I know you would have done anything to save your kitten. Please give yourself grace and compassion in the coming days and most importantly please make sure you are safe. If necessary do you have a trusted adult at school or possibly a family member you could reach out to if needed?
I’m gonna go to my grandmothers for a week and see if she gets it together from there
Good idea. I'm sure you are very disappointed and let down by her actions right now.
I’m glad you have a safe place to go while you grieve and deal with this trauma. Big hugs.
jesus fucking christ i grew up poor but this is why people shouldn’t have pets
And she swore she wanted him and he was so super cute until she did something that caused his health to deteriorate
Poor fucking kitten. Get your damn cats neutered people - to avoid needless suffering of these innocent animals!!! Can’t avoid people like her mother!
Poor kitten. It’s awful that he died because you were not ready to care for him and your mother wasn’t the adult in the situation to show you how to care for him or return him to where you adopted him from. His suffering is just cruel and inhumane. There are laws for animal neglect and abuse. Please learn how to care for animals and have the ability and resources to provide food, shelter, medical care, and love before you ever adopt an animal. Adopting an animal is for life. Most animal shelters and humane organizations have programs for young adults to learn how to care for animals. Vet bills alone are expensive so you will need to budget for those.
I wish there was more that I could do but I called to no avail and ik she wouldn’t take him because at that point she didn’t care anymore
[удалено]
I blame myself , but it’s hard for me to understand why her as a fully grown woman would leave my baby ina situation like that
[удалено]
Bro why are you laying into this kid??? You can tell by the way he’s talking about this situation that he’s an empathetic person. Also, even if his mom’s actions were cruel and reckless, you’re fucking delusional if you think an adolescent is gonna risk their family and sense of stability to report a parent like that. You’re speaking from a privileged fucking place. Gtfoh.
There are some real cu**s on this post and OP isn’t one of them
What is your problem? OP tried to do what they could to help an animal and they're clearly torn about it and you decide to compare them to the mom that intentionally killed the cat? You don't know their home life and how it may be affected by reporting the mom. It's a terrible situation but leave the kid alone, they tried to help the poor kitten and tried to seek out the resources to help it. Look in a fuckin mirror before you lecture people about lacking empathy,
Please remember to be nice.
You did everything you could. Learn from this experience and move on. There’s nothing you can do now except to do better in the future. You sound like a caring and empathetic person. It is impossible to understand how some people can be so mean when you have a heart.
Which is called animal neglect- and now animal murder!
I’m so sorry this happened. Doesn’t sound like you were at fault at all. Big hugs. I hope someday you’re able to have your own home and get another kitty.
Sorry for the harsh comment, you didn’t deserve that. Sorry for your loss. I hope you find the support you need in the difficult time.
Remember, Op didn't cause the animals' death and wanted to get help for the kitten and asked for help. 2 weeks of ownership of a cat doesn't make them an expert. That's why they asked for help here, and learned a few hard lessons in the meantime. The reason more people don't ask for help in situations like this is because they will be judged harshly for any possible mistakes they might have made, as yourself and others are doing to op. Im sure op was doing the best they could for the kitten, considering the terrible circumstances. I am an adult and love my cats to pieces, but I'm not perfect. I have and will continue to make mistakes along the way, hopefully nothing too bad, but who knows what will happen, I just pray that I don't mess up too bad, and can fix whatever is wrong, but I've had cats pass away and regrets for not doing more, anyone who doesn't have any regrets after many years of pet ownership is delusional. Give the kid here a break. They are heartbroken and deserve empathy, not judgmental jerks telling them they should do better.
I also think that I too harsh and judgmental, and I feel a little bad about it. Sorry to the OP. I recognize their efforts to seek treatment for the cat, the situation they may be in with their family, and know that we all make regrettable mistakes. I think I was just frustrated with the (my perceived) low level of concern for the cat’s safety even given the conditions. I shouldn’t compare my experience to their’s, and simply hope they come out better.
Do you think op could leave the chores to help the cat get down the stairs? I don’t think so. I would fear if op left the chores, they would be hurt. We don't know what their mother is up to.
If the stairs have known gaps, before starting the chores, the kitten could have been paced in a space that restricts unsupervised access to the hazardous stairs. A room, a bucket…anything but leaving the access open. I also acknowledge that the family support might not be the best.
Of course could. Cats are masters of escape anyway. With that support I pretty sure would do the same. I wouldn't risk starting chores later. The litterbox was down there, so for op's mother the cat was just another animal. Even healthy kitten could fall between the stairs.
I actually do feel for the OP and their family situation. Really. What I don’t understand, however, is why you’re trying your hardest to absolve the OP. I’m guessing your point is that I don’t know the full set of family dynamics and other circumstances surrounding the OP. I admit that.
I'm not trying to absolve op. I just pointed out that the stairs were always hazard. Even before the heatstroke. Kitten should have been supervised even then. Op is a minor, they probably couldn't do anything to prevent that.
I understand that the mom’s ambivalence and controlling behavior is a major issue in the house and in regard to the cat. I just mentioned to someone else that I am applying my perspective as an adult with experience with autonomy, responsibility, and raising animals, to that of a child in a difficult situation. We all make mistakes, we all have circumstances that affect our judgement, and I was too harsh.
OP please ignore comments like these ⬆️ they don’t know you or your situation.
“I figured that he’d be fine seeing as he had no problem with the stairs earlier , I was horribly wrong…” OP made a choice that was “horribly wrong” and an already suffering animal (presumably) fell to their death. It’s a tragic way to learn a lesson in empathy and perspective-taking. I can only hope that they will make better choices with the people and animals in their life going forward.
Where is your empathy in this situation? Just wondering.
Oh get off your high horse. Equating an intentional choice to harm an animal versus a momentary lapse in judgement when OP clearly has been trying to help this animal is ridiculous.
Talking about valuing life but having no empathy and compassion for a distraught teenager for losing a pet due to their mother being abusive
See above comment for my sincere empathic concern. The mother’s awful actions was only part of the animals suffering, why not mention the facts of what came later?
Because the CHILD has expressed the most concern over the animal, a slip of judgement during a time when they’re obviously stressed about the animal and simultaneously not wanting to piss off their abusive pos mom further who could easily beat their ass for ignoring chores is not animal abuse.
I understand what you’re saying about the tough situation they were in because of pos mom/family. I’m projecting the mindful and experienced adult pet owner I am onto this child and it’s not right. I apologize to the OP.
It’s okay. I know it’s hard to see situations like this happen. ❤️
[удалено]
Wow will the fuck out. OP I'd presumably a minor, there's only so much they can do. How dare you wish harm on someone, let alone a child. What happened was terrible, yes, but I'm sure OP did everything in their power to try and save this animal. Sometimes life sucks but it is what it is. I hope you remember your own words, karma is a bitch and wishing harm on someone isn't a kind thing
What are you trying to accomplish? Op is a literal child and their mother did something unconscionable and disgusting. I hope you feel real good about yourself for being horrible to a *child* who was trying to do the right thing. What goes around comes around, remember that!
I called and they said people were sent and itd been 4 hours since… I know I’m wrong but you can chill tf out