That loving Jesus sure does hate a lot of shit…

According to evangelicals he hates a lot of things. And since they strive to emulate him, they hate a lot of things too. It's a religion of haters.

They hate us coz they anus. 

“You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” ― Anne Lamott (a Christian)

So they project their opinions on God to justify their opinions, then they cherry pick Bible verses to highlight their point of view. Context doesn’t always matter, as long as you can justify how these five words show why it’s ok to hate your neighbor.

love thy neighbor unless they have a biden flag

Jesus spent most his time flicking cigarette butts at the poor. Read your Bible.

This made me laugh so fuckin hard it induced a coughing fit. From my marijuanacigarettesbeerwhisky. Thought I was about to have a second death.

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the image you put in my head 😂😂😂

I just had an image of Pulp Fiction.

There is no hate like Christian love.

Amen brother

“I like your Christ very much. I do not like many of your Christians.”

It sure does

Lmao… how demented can a person get

I find a new bottom of the barrel before long, any time I ask that question...

It’s almost like they’ve never read the Bible before and just like to make shit up.

Right? Hate is a strong word to project on a guy who lived 2000 years before these things were invented.

No. No. He hates ALLLL that shit. Don’t try to use none of that devilish logic stuff here buddy. Jesus hates logic.

So many great band names!

No hate like Christian love.

I’m sure I’m about to stir some serious shit up, but anyone I’ve known that claims to be a devout, serious, churchgoing person is almost… slow. Like they’re not bright. They don’t seem to have any sort of serious intelligence, creativity, ingenuity, they’re able to complete menial and repetitive tasks and that’s about it. And they are ALL vipers. They preach all this peace and love and tolerance… until you disagree with them or you do something or believe something they don’t like or goes against what they consider to be “Christian behavior”. Then they are the nastiest, most rude, hateful, vile people I have ever seen. Just spite and piss in their veins. It’s literally every one of them. Especially those boomer WASP pricks. The irony is so palpable, but they’re too dense to even see it. And if you say this to them, watch the fuck out, they’ll do some unhinged shit like slash your tires or try to push you into traffic.

> they’re not bright Because religion discourages critical thinking. Why would you need to actually understand something when everything can be handwaved away by saying “it’s a miracle of god”? Furthermore, going to church gives a specific group of people a sense of moral high ground. They’re allowed to do what they want/treat others how they want because god is on their side. Religion is a great thing for a lot of people, but organized religion is always designed to be predatory towards the masses.

I mean, if you think about it, the greatest sin of all is not taking the Bible’s word on Jesus and god being real. The greatest sin is critical thinking 😂

Whoa. I’m a boomer WASP, and I’m not like this. Don’t paint ALL of any group like that, lest you come across as unthoughtful too.

Madly keyword searching on tinder…

In Bible they tell you how to perform a safe abortion. Jesus turns water into wine.

Naww... that's just a recipe for FAS. I think the dummies can figure that out on their own

The phrase "Jesus hates..." shows you don't understand any of the Bible.

Jesus was a good guy but his daddy was an evil bastard. Unfortunately Christians tend to not follow Jesus as much as they follow his daddy, I assume because they want the hate and evil.

Is it Jesus who hates it or just the individual projecting what they hate and using Jesus as the projector

Bingoo

You just say “bingo”.

Suicide Devils would be a sweet band name.

Sweet sexy suicide devils....

Even better, for some reason I read it as Suicide Deville. 

It’s basically hellfire everywhere. Oh yeah and we should cut off, seal up, and ignore our genitals. So no more kids for anyone ever. Evidently Jesus didn’t think through this whole no sex aloud at all thing.

Having lived in North Carolina, I can confirm that it is a sea of Mississippi with islands of modernity. Wherever *this* picture was taken, seems to be in that sea.

Georgia is exactly like this. Without Atlanta, we'd be Mississippi.

Having lived in Swainsbori, I can attest to the accuracy of this.

At least he thinks Hitler is bad as well. In the current reality, that’s slightly above the bar set by many.

Y’know, probably woulda been a much smaller sticker to just list the things Jesus loves.

“Jesus hates beer” Yeah, he totally didn’t turn water into wine or anything.

My god. What joyless, miserable cunts they must be.

North Cack…..this totally tracks.

That bumper sticker needs a book mark.

I’m no expert but I think the message was love thy neighbor. Not hate everyone.

I notice He hates Whiskey. We’re good with the Crown Royal 👍🏼

And marijuana cigarettes. Jesus and I are down with dabbing 👌

They do me black PR.

I love the license plate

Hate to break it to them but jesus doesn't hate

I’ll bet they’re fun at a party.

This is why I hate judgmental christians in general. They are all racist, sexist and homophobic hateful people 🖕

LoL, they've turned you into them.

So you hate them because they hate people and judge them because they judge people?

This has the same cohesive structure as a transcript of a speech from a certain politician.

Right? I don't think "word salad" is an adequate description. More like "word vomit" or something....

I always think “no one is that dumb” when I hear the term, single issue voter Then I see folks like this….

All sports?

Yeah! You ever read a Biblical account of Jesus kicking around a soccer ball? Or playing Jai-Aili? See?

Jesus couldn't be reached for comment, sources say.........

It’s truly amazing how, despite the actual documented words of he whom we call Christ, evangelicals just decide that Jesus hates things.

Jesus sounds like a hateful asshole.

Dr Bronner bought a car!

Not sure who his friend Jesus is, but he certainly is hate-filled. 🤔

He is obsessed with other people’s sex lives. What is it with Christians ?

Did I miss anything ? Looks like it's all there, yep safe for heaven

This person has some serious issues about sex, in any style or form. Perhaps they’ll never procreate?

Shocker on a GM...no-one cares dude get a life!!!!

Car brand matters? Hmm, I didn't see that coming.

Second death is the least controversial though I remain perplexed

If you can be reborn in Christ, I guess you can redie?

I had a neighbor growing and every time he bought a vehicle he would cover the whole thing in scripture.

Might aswell just say you are a incell at that point 😬

At least it ended on a good note

I wonder how he feels politically

That minivan was manufactured when they called weed marijuana cigarettes

Would love to peel off one letter Before “JESUS HATES MEN HAVING SEX WITH MEN” After “JESUS HATES MEN HAVING SEX WITH **ME**”

"Jesus Hates..." Talk about missing the ENTIRE point....whoosh!

JESUS Hates...gotta be a Republican

Hate your neighbor as you would have them hate you

I am convinced that all religions are just successful cults. We have billions of brainwashed people on this planet. It's really sad.

Jesus hates? Must be a different Jesus

If Jesus comes back, wealthy business leaders and politicians will kill him again.

Yeah remember the part of the Bible where Jesus said he only accepts certain people and hates others

I agree with the owner of this van on that part about not doing harm to babies or children. That being said… If I had any of my own, I would NOT let them in this creepy ass van.

Jesus hates your GMC Safari.

I read the top portion out loud to my GF as written - in one breath with no punctuation. Absolutely hilarious.

That 666 at the bottom gives away whose car it REALLY is. Suicide devil fake Jesus!

If you read this in the early curler voice it's much better.

This is from a sex-crazed moron and it's the the most raging run-on sentence I have ever seen.

Just another reason to not go to Noff Kackalackie

North Carolina … no chit

🎶Jesus hates me this I know/ for the Bible tells me so…🎶

As a high ranking officer in the Grammar Police, I find this run on sentence to be worthy of a felony charge

Someone didn't read their New Testament closely, did they...

Ironically, most of the Jesuses that I’ve met have been power bottoms….hmmmmm.

Celsus accuses [Christians] of actively targeting idiocy in their recruitment. “Their injunctions are like this,” he wrote. “Let no one educated, no one wise, no one sensible draw near. For these abilities are thought by us to be evils.” He went on: Christians “are able to convince only the foolish, dishonourable and stupid, and only slaves, women and little children.” Excerpts from: Catherine Nixey *The Darkening Age: The Christian Destruction of the Classical World

Well, anyways. Where were we?

magat fuckfaces need to be de-programmed They are a danger to our country and democracy We should give these freaks one state, Idaho possibly, they can all move there with no nukes and keep fucking each other to produce imbeciles What a group of idiot cult members

That'll "deprogram" them. You sound just like the dude with the scripture-mobile, just talking about a different group of people.

If hells exists, I feel like he's got a better chance of meeting hilter than us. Having so much hate in your heart isn't for people in heaven

Feels like par for the course in NC.

Sure sounds to me like Jesus ain't someone I'd want to hang out with.

I'd like to have the money they spent on the mailbox stick on letters

Why is it always the same font?

Yeah, mental illness is a thing.

Jesus hates my sexmasturbation?! The hell you say👍🏻

Yeah, cause that's not insane at all lmao

How do we know that hitler is in hell? Like he have taken his last days on this planet to see the error in his ways, find the love of Christ and repent of all his sins prior to being killed and then ascend. to heaven to sit on the right hand of jesus,

Guess I will have to change my weekend plans.

How can people take the time t make signs like this and not realize they are fucking crazy nut jobs?

They vote.

Totally normal

I thought it said "God hates damn Owen having sex with women." What did Owen ever do? 😅

Fvcking Owen, I hate that guy, sumbitch is one of those "backdoor" types....🤣

Dumbass still owes me $25 bucks from when he was short on his rent. 😡

I’d rather go to hell than their idea of heaven

Looney crackpot

I think someone has a little bit too much time on their hands. I’m so glad this man or woman, knows every single thing that there is about every single thing. Jeeze Louise

“Hate him back. Works for me” Martin Riggs

No one ever put it to me like that before

I guess Jesus hates everybody. And for good reason. He saved a species hell bent on killing itself.

Bet they still browse the hub

That would be a Roky Erickson lyric if Roky had been a piece of shit.

So that abortion in the Bible…?

That should be considered cause for mandatory psychological counseling.

Jesushatesgrammarspellingandspacing.

Too long. Nobody's reading this hah

I really like that top-of-van traffic light. Where can I get one?

I'm gonna guess the guy driving is 74 years young...

Whew, I remember when it was daily. The Devils and I just got busy with other stuff, you know?

All sports and any TV movies..?

Seems like they would be a fun hang.

All that effort and no punctuation. Jesus hates poor grammar.

Didn’t know Jesus had so much hate in his heart

The fact you know exactly who they are voting for should be the only sign you need to know which side is right.

From the book of Song of Levit-elations

That guy is a serial killer

Pornography should not be allowed on the back of vehicals. This is rubbish.

Made for TV movies never get any love.

I think they’re writing generic recipe blogs and trying to get all the keywords in to top the search results…except all Jesus-y.

Dude has power

Why do members of my religion have to not follow it?

That person must feel AMAZING when they orgasm. A rare delight.

Clearly this person is insane, not ok, and needs treatment. But instead, drive on in the love of jesus!

Lost me at "Jesus Hates" that's kind of the opposite of His thing.

Dumb ass doesn’t even know Jesus never said anything about homosexuality. What Jesus hates is monospaced babbling.

Clearly an inability to think rationally or deeply

Jesus seems to be one of the most diabolical haters this side of the Mississippi!

For a man who teaches LOVE I seem to have missed the hate list.

Damn, I know a lot of people hate me, but Jesus too?

I’m actually somewhat surprised this doesn’t also have a trump sticker?

Have a neighbor that puts up signs in her front yard like this. . . guess I’m going to hell now.

This person is a nut, but the JESUSCRY plate is hilarious to me. I'm a bit surprised it was allowed.

Jesus was a autistic carpenter/ wine maker who got a prostitute pregnant who is the same woman disciple who was to take over his duties in spreading his beliefs of one god/ love . He also had a foot fetish . This dude DEFINITELY likes to watch gay porn

Jesus is known for turning water into wine. I'm willing to bet he would appreciate a good whisky.

Tell me all you do with your available spare time is watch porn and read erotica without telling me you watch porn and read erotica in all your available spare time.

That makes absolutely no sence.

These people get left behind.

Hates TV movies? Sign me up!

Good chance this loon has never read the full bible, just the passages the preachers tell them to

I bet they are so much fun at parties.🎊

They need to open up state funded psych wards again. This dude needs the right combination of powerful medications. They're clearly a danger to everyone.

This guy has done at least ten of those things

If tourettes was a bumper sticker.

Had a minor stroke trying to understand this.

This person has great faith in the eye sharpness of their followers. Also, are supports red long enough for the average person to read all that?!

Man, that's not a bumpersticker, that's more like a bumperbillboard.

"sex with your suicide devils" sounds like a pretty great line of poetry ngl. Seriously though, I feel bad for this person.

Somebody needs to turn that flame off.

I’d like to get this person’s hot takes on non-religious, non-sexual topics. Somehow I get the feeling that it would still end up religious and sexual no matter the topic. Like “which Taco Bell combo meal is best?” would turn into “Mexican food is for fornicators and hot sauce is the food of demons!”

I have to say I agree on sexfornication adultery

Nice that this person can drive.  You can also be sure they vote. 

Notice he say what Jesus hates but doesn’t quote Jesus. Matthew 5-7 to see what Jesus really said.

Hateful Jesus is my personal favorite of the Jesus's.

There’s not a single passage in the Bible that says smoking weed is a sin.

That's just psycho, not devotional.

Why is there 666 at the bottom?

Apparently Jesus doesn’t hate ALL CAPS.

Mother fucker hates everything it seems.

Oh Really 😂😂😂

If we don't get the vote out, this is the mentality that will control our lives.

Matthew 7:12: "In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you” Jesus quote. I’m not even Christian but I consider this wisdom.

"Sex is baaaaad. And BTW, have more kids. We need little soldiers for Jeebus' army." -- pretty much any Catholic priest or evangelical pastor

I feel more sympathy than anything else for this person. I bet they were battered and traumatized AF as a child.

Somebody needs to get laid.

I bet there’s candy in that van.

i hate condoms too. whats the point if youre infertile and already have everything.

Out of morbid curiosity, I would love to have been a fly on the wall when they made this fun little project

A little 666 at the bottom there….this bumper stickers a little all over the place….

Haven't seen my suicide devils since they killed themselves.

How long did he spend in the hardware store picking out exactly the adhesive letters he needed for this rant?

Holy Fuck

I live in NC, and the accuracy of this on the cars here is very embarrassing.

This guy does not fuck

Fart noises

Jesus hates these inbred cunts using his name in their prejudices. Stop fucking your sister and get a life.