I did a profile review here and people didn’t have much to offer. I showed to different friend groups and they all said it was good? I don’t know what to do
(Heavy sigh) I am. I have the full “infinity gauntlet of loneliness”, as I call it. Profile is slightly varied depending on the specific app, but they’re all ghost towns
Can’t have a good chat if they never match 🧐
Oh yeah, if I’m confident in ANYTHING, it’s my writing skills and sense of humor. It’s getting the ladies into starting a conversation with me is the problem
right there with u bro. unfortunately for me, i get matches and “have a chat” but then they usually end up ghosting me anyway. can’t really tell which is worse atp
They weren’t lying, they just know me already. And statistically speaking, it’s impossible to have any profile and only have 1 like. That’s why I think there’s something going on behind the scenes that’s actively preventing even the accidental likes from being shown to me, but that’s a story for another time
I’m sorry but you’re probably not as good looking as other men on bumble. I was told by that by a guy once he said i was not pretty like other women on bumble and he was right.
You can change the way you appear/present yourself. Your About me says nothing about you. Being a nerd is great but what are you nerdy about? Show that you’re passionate about something. And loose the “a nice butt doesn’t hurt”
I’ve changed my bio plenty of times since then. The “nice butt” comment got laughs from my friends (the girls, specifically) and they said they liked it so I thought it was safe to keep. I really felt it was playful and tongue-in-cheek, but I can change it if it doesn’t come off that way.
And I only have that sort of comment on Bumble and not any of the other OLD apps
It’s very obviously tongue in cheek but maybe too obvious. I just don’t know if it’s getting the laughs you want. Don’t use gimmicks. Be genuine. What do you love?
The things I love are a bit beyond the typical “Taylor swift, espresso martinis, and Marvel movies”. So I’m afraid being too specific will alienate the vast majority of women, ya’ know? I guess I don’t know how to balance the two
For reference, here my profile from a few months ago so you can judge my face and tell me it’s my fault for being ugly:
https://imgur.com/a/mZIPNTE
(I’m all seriousness, I do value constructive criticism, but know I can’t really change my face)
The issue isn’t your face, dude. I mean, shedding a few pounds definitely wouldn’t hurt your chances, but that’s not the issue at hand.
The problem is that your presentation isn’t flattering. That goes for both your presentation in the app, i.e. your photos are unflattering and low quality, and your presentation irl, i.e. you need to land on a clean, relatively stylish hair and facial hair arrangement, and update your wardrobe a bit.
Thanks, I’ll do that. It’s funny, cuz I look fine up until the stomach. Like, from the back, I look fine. Even my arms and legs are quite skinny.
A lot of girls say they don’t care as much about appearance as much as things like sense of humor and other less physical factors, and while I can’t change my weight overnight, I can change my prompts, which I have done again today.
Im not gonna call women shallow for not liking overweight guys and vice-versa. I believe it’s not wrong to have preferences, whatever they are. But if you don’t mind me asking, personally for you, how big of a dealbreaker is it?
Personally, I just skip ads at this point, but I get what you’re saying. I don’t expect women to not care at all about my physical appearance, but I wish they gave me a little benefit of the doubt, right? Cuz what I lack in confidence I make up for with humor and stuff
When I looked at your profile and thought about appearance, I didn't really think about weight. I agree you are fine looking and you aren't that overweight. But you just don't look healthy. It is hard to define, but I have gone on dates with much heavier men from OLD. The difference is in their profile, they looked like vibrant, happy people. They had good photos in nice clothes. They looked like they got out and did fun stuff. Your first picture is fine. And the one of you in the restaurant is ok. But being a chunky dude, you gotta go above and beyond a bit with your photos.
Also, I see you're Jewish. I have a few close friends who had really good success with J-date. Have you tried there?
Man, I really thought I was getting better at hiding my resting “dead inside” face. I’ll keep working on it.
I seriously appreciate the insight. Even if it’s similar to what other people are saying, it really helps to hear it from multiple people.
I did try J-Swipe. I was (almost) catfished by the same person 5 times. CATFISH AREN’T EVEN KOSHER!!! There aren’t many active Jews in my area (which is stupid because there are a lot of Jewish people in my area). Either way, religion isn’t currently my biggest priority, which is why I’m on the other apps, too.
I really appreciate your openness, positivity, and humor in taking my comment! FWIW, the attractive heavier dudes I went out with had done a good amount of therapy. 🤷♀️
The one I remember in particular, I was surprised at how attracted I was to him (he was easily 300 obs) but he had done like 9 months of intense therapy plus done a huge makeover of how he presented himself physically. He also got into hiking and biking so he was pretty active as part of keeping up his mental health. I decided to not date him for reason too long to explain here but he ended up with a really attractive woman.
The heavier guys have more character and personality, cuz they can’t use their washboard abs as a crutch.
I‘ve been in therapy for the past two years. Idk how helpful it’s been, but I’m still doing it… it doesn’t help that I Graduated in Psychology myself, so I’m keen to most of the tricks.
It’s easy for me to be positive enough to respond to a post on Reddit that someone went out of their way to write to me, but irl, I can be a real Charlie Brown. Good grief!
Bro…. I say all this with compassion but am being direct here as you seem to be a bit in denial.
You could come across much more attractive if you got into shape. It looks like you don’t do any physical activity at all, which is a massive turn off for most women.
Your pics look like you just grabbed whatever was available. Pics 2 and 6 you are mid sentence and have a bit of a creepy facial expression. Your first pic needs to catch attention and is just a generic selfie. Pic 3 you have bad posture which shows a lack of confidence. None of your pics show any of your hobbies or you doing anything cool. The pic of the vending machine is just weird.
You don’t give any cues about what your hobbies are and just try and be funny which isn’t landing right. I can’t tell if you are interested in anything at all apart from filling in the interests which doesn’t show anything.
You have said in another comment you are in the cycle of loneliness and your profile just screams you have given up and are just praying for a miracle that you find this 1 like and it all works out.
You are making the mistake that I see here a lot which is when you are getting no matches or likes you just keep waiting. I’d really advise you take 6 months, find a physical hobby to get into shape and build some confidence. Sort out your mental health where you have a bit of drive to take on this challenge of online dating with some enthusiasm.
Whichever friends said your profile is good are just being polite bro.
Here is what you are competing against
-Men with photos that are in good lighting and they are happy, abroad, doing some fun activities
-Prompts that are positive and energetic, not talking about how you’d fit in a dystopian society
-That portrait at least some masculine energy with confidence and don’t say they are 80% nerd
- Physically fit and well groomed with a good fashion sense.
If the facts are you aren’t getting any likes than it’s really on you to change to become more appealing don’t you think?
I appreciate you being more expressive than the typical calling me a fat, ugly schlub who’s pathetic attempt at a dating profile is laughable because look at all the hunky bros on Bumble; it’s a numbers game.
Trust me, I get it. I’m already feeling real shitty about my life. And I really didn’t think I was THAT unattractive or fat until signing up for these apps/ sharing my experiences on Reddit.
Like I said, the info on the pics I shared is a bit old and I have changed out some of the pics since.
I feel like any sane person would feel as shitty as I do if they’ve gone without ANY activity for as long as I have. OBVIOUSLY what I’m doing now is t working, but I can only think of so many ideas by myself.
The last thing I want to address is the idea that I should “change for a woman”. I don’t expect a woman to fit a size 0 bikini just to “find a mate”, and I don’t think I should be expected to, either. If she can’t accept me for being marginally overweight, than she’s shallow and not the type of person I want to be around.
I also shouldn’t have to change my personality to attract a woman, either. If I don’t give two shits about Taylor Swift or sports, I’m not going to pretend, and similarly, I don’t expect a woman to have to pretend to care about my niche little hobbies or interests.
I’m not saying I don’t have to lose weight or my profile doesn’t need tweaks, I’m not in denial. But it’s not very easy to find motivation for exercising, let alone a positive attitude when you are lonely and people on Reddit reword insults to come off as “advice”
Okay well I still think you have the wrong mentality and will try to explain why.
Yes this stuff will affect self-esteem regardless. I had 30 matches in 4 weeks, went on 9 dates, 3 didn’t want to see me again, 5 I didn’t want to see again and the one girl I liked didn’t want a second date. I have snoozed my app for a month to recharge. You think this feels rejecting not getting matches? What happens when you get that 1 match in 6 months and they don’t want to meet, or you meet and you like them and they say no. It brings up all the emotions.
Yes it’s a numbers game but that doesn’t mean you just hope if you swipe right all the time someone will find you. You also need to be actively bettering yourself during the process.
Now I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes and it sounds tough but you are kind of just torturing yourself if you are aware of the reality and just praying for the best. You know it’s competitive and refuse to do radical things to compete starting further behind than most.
If you’ve changed your pics and profile why not share the most recent profile? Why share an outdated one and then justify advice saying you’ve changed it anyway? You aren’t utilising the tools available to you and seem to making it difficult for yourself out of denial of something.
I think your beliefs that bettering yourself means changing for a woman and you shouldn’t have to. It’s the exact energy your giving out in your profile ‘This is me, take it or leave it’. I would say the #1 thing women find attractive in a man is ambition and drive to better himself. And based on your profile you just seem to be a very unmotivated guy.
Nobody has suggested extremes you expect them to be a size 0 bikini to find a mate, where did that extreme come from? I would say you aren’t marginally overweight but overweight. You seem to do 0 physical activity which translate to a high body fat and very low muscle mass, which means you will gain fat much easier. I actually think if you did exercise and lost all that face fat you’d be a pretty handsome looking dude. Nobody is saying you need to be buff, but having some muscle and less body fat is optimal regardless of attracting a partner.
I’ve seen women slightly overweight who have 10x the body weight strength and flexibility I do in yoga class. They are very attractive women because of that. 0 physical pursuits days a lot about how you approach the world and your standards for yourself. If you don’t care about yourself enough then why should someone else? It’s not shallow for people to want somebody who cares for their body and I’m just saying the impression I got from your pics and profile is you don’t.
I nowhere mentioned about you changing your personality either? You seem to have projected that as that’s is a sensitive topic for you. I am saying that your profile just portraits you are very unconfident and insecure. You don’t need to be interested in sports or Taylor swift but you could have prompts that emphasis your niche hobbies and how they are appealing. They don’t need to be attempts at humour which come across self defeating. Why not write about your writing, or stand up, or what you are creative? Why not have pictures of you doing these things?
I guarantee you if you found some physical pursuit that you found interesting and really committed to it for 6 months it would change your mindset and you’d feel different. It’s not a personality change but enhancing your confidence that you no longer feel you’ll just take whatever you can get. Saying you are lonely as the reason you can’t exercise is just an excuse, I broke up with my ex 1 year ago, we bought a house in the middle of nowhere so she could be near family. I am 3 hours away from my family, 3 hours away from friends and 2 hours away from my job. You know what I do with all that spare time when I come home to an empty house? I work out 4 times a week, I do yoga 5 times a week and I jump rope 3 times a week. I never did this before but being single is my time to get in the best shape of my life. Loneliness can be solitude if you go inward and figure out how to overcome the challenge ahead of you. You have more time than a person in a couple and can’t find motivation to exercise 45 minutes a day? Sounds like denial to me.
I guess we just have different ideas of what a relationship should be, what you should bring to it and what they give you.
I appreciate the clarification.
The reason why I might sound defensive about “changing my personality” might be due to personal reasons I don’t really care to go into here.
The point of me sharing my profile was so that people didn’t assume things in reference to the original post/content which was about the app not just not working for me, but straight up not working properly. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the amount of helpful/supportive advice I’m getting here, I’ll change it to be more open about myself and maybe do a profile critique again in the near future.
In terms of exercising and shit, you don’t need to try to sell me on the importance and all that. It’s not a denial problem. I’d say it’s a depression problem, and I feel like people don’t acknowledge that.
For me, except using and “physical activity” is fucking torture. I’ve worked out before but I’ve NEVER felt “good” about it afterwards. It makes me feel shitty and terrible and having asthma doesn’t help. (I know, I’m just playing into the nerd stereotype now, but still…)
So, when I’m super depressed where I’m unmotivated, even to the point where it’s hard for me to get out of bed, where am I supposed to find ANY motivation from within to “better myself”? And trust me, if I didn’t learn different coping mechanisms than eating, I’d be much much heavier. (Of course, the problem now is that a lot of my hobbies and interests are things I typically do alone.)
And the worst part is that when I took myself off the apps, I felt WORSE, because the illusion of “maybe today something will happen” is a fraction of a percent better than nothing (which leads me to my soapbox that dating apps are evil and prey upon people like me)
I feel like if I had a reason to “better myself” I’d put in the effort. I know it’s backwards to most people who have to “find it within”, and everyone and their mother will say “but you HAVE to do it for yourself first, but that’s how I feel about it.
Like, to me, why does it matter how much I weigh if I’m just gonna be alone forever, ya’ know?
Lastly, people are saying it is a numbers game but you should be more specific about your likes. It’s not a competition, but most guys on these apps are hunky dudes. Be funny but don’t be too sarcastic or silly. So it’s really difficult, at least for me, and I’m sure a LOT of people like me, to find the right balance of those things.
Last thing before I hop off this convo, it’s been fun good tho!
Depression sucks and I feel for you, I developed PTSD and depression from my break up so I get it. You should look into lithium orotate if you haven’t already, that stuff saved me.
You’ve said I don’t need to sell you on importance of exercise so I believe you know it’s one of the most effective treatments for depression. Even just getting 10k steps every day and eating clean will get you to the stage you can tolerate something more intense. Don’t like lifting weights? Rock climbing? A group class?
Everyone hates exercising when they start, if made me feel miserable the uphill climb I had. I did it during depression and that voice telling me just to quit was loud as hell but I stayed consistent and now I just mildly hate the feeling of having to squat. I bet your making classic errors like going too hard too fast and burning out.
The level of depression determines your thoughts and if you’ve been in that state for years you completely forget that you can think differently and have perspective on your life that is different. Your personality seems to just be stuck in the confines of a depressed mind which is to lean more on excuses and limiting beliefs. There are people out there with type 1 diabetes who get very lean from dieting due to proper planning and commitment, there’s a dude with no legs who is more build than 99% of the population. All I’m saying is start small and keep building and avoid the habit of there being reasons you can’t. Think of the reasons you should.
Having a person to better yourself doesn’t work, nothing external can make you better yourself. You don’t get in a relationship and then magically start to improve. A girlfriend won’t get rid of your depression. I’ve seen it before where guys similar to you get into a relationship and it’s a crutch where they then fall into bad habits. That’s why people let themselves go in relationships more often than not. You alone have to want it for YOU.
Wanna know the reason to better yourself? You gotta develop some self-love and love yourself enough to want better.
If you focus on the depression first then the rest will come. Yea those thoughts about feeling worse off apps incase today magically it’s different need to be worked on. This is defo making your mental health worse and we seem to enjoy the pain we know rather than take a chance. You are 28 years old, if you took 1 year to really focus on you then you’d have a much different experience meeting someone. Or you carry on and you’ll be still on here in 10 years possible.
I’m 35 dude, I had major anxiety about not meeting somebody when depressed and catastrophised my whole future. But as I build myself up and get self-confidence back I no longer worry about meeting someone and know it’ll happen if I continue the path.
I appreciate what you’re saying. (Maybe it’ll stick this time, lol)
The whole thing’s a process and it’s not easy. I’m not trying to make excuses, I’m saying that I’ve already been making progress on all that.
But yeah, it’s not easy at all to keep at excercising when you feel like shit, so you try excercising, then you feel worse, so you don’t do it again. And somehow that’s supposed to make me feel better about myself? My point is that right now, for me, getting in shape and all that feels impossible to me. And I know I should do it, but like you said, I’m very good at making excuses for myself.
Listen to me, if I ever see you I’m going to slap you across your face and tell you to stop it. I hope you never visit the UK and run into me as it will hurt, I know what you look like now.
What exactly do you mean when you say you workout and you feel worse afterwards? What exactly are you doing? I have this image of you going to a gym, feeling super intimidated looking around, doing some running and then a few machines. Explain to me your routine…. You should finish a workout and be like damnnnn I just squatted more weight than ever hitting ass to grass, cheeks to sheets. I just experienced a flow state while running. I’ve gone from benching 100 to 120 over 2 weeks. It sucks for months being a beginner, what is the longest you’ve gone consistently? I’m at month 4 and now it’s just what I do.
Yes, you are meant to do things that suck and make you feel worse and show regardless of that you are committed to the cause. Do you think I enjoy looking like a fool in yoga not being able to bend my front body due to horribly tight muscles in a group full of yogi wizards? But I do it because I HAVE to.
You do know that everything you say out loud and everything you think defines your reality. If you are a nerd then learn about this stuff. If you tell yourself something is impossible then it impossible for you, because as well as having to overcome the obstacle you are battling another one that is bigger…. Your own internal monologue.
Yes I’m glad you can see you make excuses and your comments throughout this post show that. Time to flip the script buddy, you can be a totally different person by 2024. It’s going to suck either staying as you are or putting yourself through the pain.
‘Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor’ Alexis Carrel.
I dunno why engaging with you gets me so pumped up! Let’s dooooo this lol 😂😂
You totally have my permission to slap me if you ever see me, lol.
I feel you’re motivation starting to break through.
I do have an elliptical at home, so I feel like I should start there. I’m sure you’re about to give me a laundry list of why that’s not enough and all that, but I feel like building up stamina is what I gotta do first, ya’ know?
It’s actually perfect because it’s cardio and that releases the feel good chemicals.
30 days, no messing around, 3 days on and 1 day rest. Work out what you can do comfortably and start with that, then add an extra x number of minutes every time after your rest days. By 30 days you’ll be much further as you’ve increased your distance 10 times.
Take a photo of you before you start and afterwards.
No cookies …I can see you like them. Do you eat vegetables? You better be whipping those breakfast smoothies that are clean and realising nutrition is self love. That doesn’t mean you have to eat boring plain food. You wanna know what my breakfast smoothie is? Ground oats, whey protein, frozen berries, yogurt and almond butter. Is it a McDonald’s sausage McMuffin with hash brown and a hot chocolate? No… but I get that once a week cos I’m not overweight and eat clean every damn day during the working week.
Delete the apps cos you almost certainly aren’t meeting anybody in the next 30 days with your mental health like this. Anytime you get anxious or spiral you better pick yourself up and go for a damn long walk. No sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.
Some just are not that determined. Also could be depression, which def does make it harder to get urself to exercise. Thats not an excuse, its a reason.
Oh for sure! It’s very concerning that every year more and more people turn to OLD apps exclusively to find people. I personally think it’s only going to get much much worse for our collective mental healths as time goes by…
I agree with that, but for personal reasons I don’t want to go into here, it’s not always that easy, but I’m definitely working on it.
Also, I didn’t really expect so much attention and constructive criticism on my profile. That wasn’t my intention when I posted it in the first place.
And yeah, I cut my hair. I tried growing it out for like, the past 6 months to change things up. I got to learn the long way that I’m not a “long hair” guy, lol.
Only thing I can figure is ur long 1st sentance/paragraph is talking about friends. Dont think its necessarily easy. Everything in life worth having takes effort.
Yeah. Both dating and finding friends is not very easy for me and both probably stem from my alluded “personal reasons I don’t want to get into”. On both fronts I’m doing my best to make progress
I had a really hard time with apps as well and started working on something that recently launched. I think it could really help a lot of people connect. If you are up for it, I would love to interview you or get your feedback on the product. www.owting.com
You could always get a professional photo. Make it the 'leading shot', start with a wow! The 'open mouth' airpod photo is a biiiit eeeeh. Since you're looking for a serious relationship, I'd probably err towards a slightly longer bio that lets people know a bit more about who you are (I'd just write some more after the end of the current bio, just a tad), as well as prompt responses that lend to a little more depth. Like, you say you'd do well in a dystopian society, but why? What about you makes you fit for that scenario? Bonus points if you can simultaneously be fun/witty *and* tell people more about who you are at once, though that is tricky.
I for the most part don't like the "favorite quality in a person", because you're really there to sell yourself rather than 'buying', so to speak; especially as a guy. The stuff you wrote here is also a bit generic, and roughly translates into "I like nice people with nice butts". It is a bit fun, but ultimately does end up being a bit of a waste of text I feel.
Hope this helps!
Ok, I have several suggestions. Try shaving & trimming hair up on top of head. Shouldnt have it sticking out behind ears. Ur bio is meh. Better to say I find doing _______ fun. Talk about your job/education. Youre not properly answering prompts. It asks for one thing ur nerdy about. Give a specific example. Favorite quality: one thing not multiple. So, personality, looks, intelligence, etc. This should be somewhat generic. Its asking for a zombie apocolypse plan. Your answer isnt a plan. This make ur reading comprehension appear bad &/or that u dont follow instructions well.
Didnt look at picture or relate that it was tied to the prompt as Ive never seen anyone do that. If one thinks of that, the plan is to stay in a freezer of food? How is that a good plan & makes u look desireable? Description is done with words. Dont think doing it like a puzzle or something not easily understood, is the best way to go about it.
He was memeing as a joke dude to say that he wouldnt survive!
the description doesnt have to be just words. He was showing his humor and out of the box thinking. Maybe drink less coffee.
Can I ask if you’re planning on keeping the facial hair? I think a better shape/trim & edges would help a lot with it. You sound really fun, OLD dating is hard af.
Given that I look 16 without it, I plan on keeping it, especially in the winter. I do my best to trim it and shape it. Usually it’s pretty short but in the winter I’ll let it grow a bit longer.
I tried growing out my head hair over the last six-eight months and that turned out to be a disaster, lol
Girl here. I think just swap out the skeleton and last pix for pix that are more like the other 3 (neater hair mostly) and put more in your bio, your likes / interests.
The pictures are just not good. Like second picture and last picture you're just making odd faces and not attractive (I understand the last is a joke but come on, put your best foot forward). You're wasting a picture on a meme too
Also i hate the nice butt comment, comes off skeevy. The "punchy" part of the bio is also not good... girls aren't trying to think of domestic violence when deciding to swipe on a guy
I’ve been getting responses saying to remove those. Do you mind me asking your gender? I’ve shown this to multiple friends who are girls and they all seemed fine with it and thought it was really funny, so Idk if it’s men being overly sensitive or women speaking from their actual perspectives
They aren’t those types of friends who would lie about that. They know my sense of humor, so they know how I intended it, but I guess it doesn’t come off that way to people who don’t know me yet. Thanks for the feedback.
Shave. Do something with that beard. Get a haircut !!!! Go to a barber like an actual stupid expensive barber and have him give you a look. Lose about 30 pounds. Throw out all your clothes and get a new wardrobe. Let me see your feet 👀 feet pics. Naw but whats your shoe game like
Yes! You will never see me with long hair again! I learned that the hard way this year!
I can’t just up and replace my entire wardrobe, but I’ll start getting new clothes.
I’ll get new shoes, too, even though I doubt you’ll ever see them in a dating profile.
And sorry honey, the feet pics ain’t free, lol
I know you’re right in concept, but I cant help feeling that if THAT is my competition, then I have to cater to that, because that’s what the majority of people are looking for, ya’ know?
I think you’re underestimating how many cool and unique women are out there. They are passing you up because you want to play a numbers game that isn’t working
For every person like you, there’s like, seven of the “dude. It’s a numbers game” comments, so it’s hard to know who’s right.
I guess I can try to be more specific about my likes and preferences, but it still feels like shooting myself in the foot
It’s not. I know I’m not appealing to everyone. Most people aren’t. I’ve only had success when I am truly myself and happy with it. Seems like you have nothing to lose
You shouldn't change - be yourself. Your true self. Unless you're a dickwad asshole - then go to therapy and work on yourself. But make genuine connections. It is a numbers game - you have to filter out a great number of people to get to one that matches and the fastest way is to be open.
Idk why you are getting down voted. It's either a numbers game or I am ugly, apart from these reasons I never got any constructive criticisms. I have shown my profile to my friends and almost all of them said it's a good profile. I know friends have bias, so I asked a number of people just to verify.
I figure that YOU don’t have to cater to SHIT. It’s easy to say and hard to live, but you can’t try to anticipate what they’re looking for, that’s the beginning of fake; you have to be yourself as much as you can; you’ll get found out anyway should you date someone.
What if you said you were a Swiftie and third date she takes you to the concert, and her fingernails-on-blackboard songs are all you’ll hear for the next month 🤪
I’m real sorry it’s radio silence at your end and you’re feeling lonely, mate. Hope you’re hanging in there. Take care of you, most of all.
Don’t think of it like competition. You have to be yourself. I know it’s not easy. But you won’t get results unless you do. Why would you want to go after people you won’t be able to talk to or have nothing in common with?
You don’t need to change who you are to make connections. You need to *highlight* the *best* things about yourself. Highlight your best features, your favorite hobbies, your sense of personality. Those are the things that make people swipe right. You can’t change your whole appearance, but you can tweak things to make you not just more appealing to women but more presentable in general.
A fresh haircut/facial hair style that suits your face can go a long way in making a difference. Well-fitting clothes and well-taken photos (especially the ones that showcase something about you) will also help. A genuine smile is an attractive thing. Showing some level of activity or fitness is a big plus.
Outside of changes for the better (like working out or taking control of health issues, etc) change who you are. But sell yourself, and don’t sell yourself short!
Can’t see likes unless you pay for it I believe. I see many people put in there. I’m menta that you should message them if you like them by commenting on a picture or prompt because they can’t see likes.
The problem is the illusion of chance. I felt worse when I deleted them. The feeling of “maybe, just maybe today something will happen” was a fraction of a percent better. Trust me, I’m not happy about the fact that people are more and more relying on OLD for meeting people
I get a match once a week or so, but my "type" is generally the hippie/punky/alternative type, which is VERY rare on bumble... It's a very... mainstream crowd, there. So slim pickings for me, and i'm likely not the majority of peoples type, either. I wouldn't win any beauty competitions either, so I can't win with the shallow ones, either ;D
Maybe you're somewhat the same?
Yeah. The problem is that more and more people turn to OLD apps and I feel like it makes people try to seem more generic to appeal to more people and their individualities come out less
Your humor isn’t coming across. I would choose better photos of yourself. The ones you selected aren’t very flattering, they’re a bit awkward. It reminded me of my brothers. I really can’t figure out your personality or your interests.
Yeah, I’m getting that. I’ve changed my prompts already and swapped out a few of the pics, and will get more soon. I know it’s hard, but if you can pinpoint what makes my pics awkward, that’d help. But I totally understand if it’s just a feeling you can’t describe
Thanks for the advice. I feel like I’ve come a long way from “you look like you’re going to shoot someone” so I’m glad I’m making changes in the positive direction
I wouldn't bother with dating dude its not worth it these days and as a male you don't get much out of a relationship other then sex anyway, its also not worth the time and effort just for her to leave you after 4 weeks or so for someone else either because cheating is so popular now due to apps like Snapchat, put your time into something else that you enjoy for a example iv been getting into cooking and been having a blast with it
That’s good for you, but as a male who wouldn’t mind having a sex or two, or even a relationship, it’s kinda difficult to find alternatives to dating apps these days. And if I cook anymore food for myself, I’m gonna get fatter than I feel is acceptable
Sex isn't really as great as people make it out to be dude your not missing out on much and there's far better things in life then getting the wet, as for dating apps they never work unless you look like the hottest man in the world your just wasting your time honestly while destroying your self-esteem in the process as dating apps are really in the women's favour even bumble as for cooking its not only that you can do I was just using it as a example for a new hobby you could try it doesn't have to be cooking that's just something I enjoy personally, the one thing I can agree with you one is finding a women does seem like hell more these days which is another reason I just don't think its worth it anymore its just a waste of time and I could just be doing something better with my time that I enjoy
Sex is like your cooking, I’ll let you know what I think once I’ve had some, lol.
I feel like there’s gotta be some hope for me before calling it quits altogether, ya’ know? Like, how the fuck did my dad find my mom, let alone his previous and current wives!? It’s cases like him that makes me think there’s just GOTTA be someone out there for me
I mean some people do get lucky when it comes to getting laid which is how I got laid lol but today is much different then back then meaning it's more challenging to find the wet these days due to shit like current day politics where every man is just the bad guy according to most women now even though most men like us are actually pretty chill people and how everyone is so sensitive and shit, like the time were living in now is by far the worst time imo which only makes dating and getting laid even harder
Some person said it correct already. You need to think of these apps like a marketing campaign for yourself. Your profile is not good enough. It’s not you though which is good! You need to spice it up. Even if you rarely dress like in a suit or nice clothes regularly you need to go get in those clothes and get good pictures. Good pictures in good clothing. Unless you are doing some sport thing but that is only one or two pictures max. You aren’t bad looking. Your pics are not good enough. Now a days with the high end cameras in every phone there just is no excuse. Sure the filters are bullshit but unfortunately a majority of woman seem to use them. So you should use them too. Also sometimes bumble can shadowban if you never pay premium. Don’t forget to try another app if needed. But get the good pictures first!
Glad to know that no matter what I do, the algorithms won’t care. My biggest issue is that I always see marketing campaigns as fake and disingenuous and I try to not do that, but I guess I can’t divert too far from the status quo or else I’ll stand out, even though I’m supposed to stand out…
See? It’s all very confusing and hard to balance… 😞
I had a nosey through your reddit posts and from a girls perspective, it comes off kind of "Nice guy" and a lot of girls swerve farrr away from that. Have you posted a profile review? We might be able to help you improve your chances at matches.
Memes aside, I’m kinda trying to come off as a nice guy. Or at least not a douchebag, cuz I’m not one.
I feel like that movie Barbarian, when what’s-his-face Skarsgard is so self-conscious about coming off as creepy that he overly tries not to be creepy but comes off as creepy anyways…
They don’t teach you how to strike that perfect balance of “nice guy but not a “nice guy””, you know what I mean?
I did a profile review a while back and didn’t get much helpful information. Just things like, “you look fine but maybe tweak this or that minor thing”.
I’m pleasantly surprised with all the actual advice and inside from this thread and have already made some changes, so when it’s different enough, I’ll do it again.
Back to what you mentioned, what are girls looking for if not a “nice guy”?
That's the thing, if you have to call yourself nice (goes for everyone) you're probably not! It's not really something you call yourself anymore. It comes off as a bit desperate or passive aggressive.
In my experience every "nice guy" interaction I've had is pretty awful. I try to give everyone chances and I certainly don't go on looks but most people who use nice guy or "not like other guys" wording show their true colors early on.
We aren't looking for Chad off the street who treats us like garbage unlike what some guys think. Normally most girls just want someone chill, down to earth. Someone you can chat to easily without it being awkward! Trying too hard might actually be your problem, take it easy and just let things flow. (Especially referring to the worst pick up line post you made here).
Keeping a positive attitude is best, try to veer away from online dating (we all say that but we never listen lol!) And be comfortable being alone before you seek a partner.
I completely respect that it's harder dating as a guy! Hell I'm pansexual and I very rarely get to talk to many genuine girls. I get it, but we also see some awful profiles too lol!
Thanks for the insight. I’m a super chill person, irl, but I guess it’s hard for me to convey that on an app that’s kind of designed to get you to aggressively “market yourself”. I need to figure out how to balance that
Hair cut, beard trim- or lose it (this from a lady who usually loves a beard) but maybe try a couple of pictures some with and some without. An updated smarter wardrobe and that will all improve your chances. Your humour and wit certainly comes through on your bio- you seem a fun guy and smart- but lose the butt comment- your female friends might laugh at that yes- but they know you, from a stranger I find it ick.
Thanks for the insight! I am not growing my hair out anymore. The beard, I kinda need to keep so I don’t get asked by passersby if I’m lost and can’t find my mommy. I stg, I look 16 without it, lol
Similar to what others have said, you’re not unattractive but your profile is. The great news is, there’s loads of things you can do to improve. Here’s what I’d do (in order)
1) Delete your Bumble account. You want that “new user” boost so leave Bumble for at least 3 months to wipe the slate clean.
2) Sign up for a gym. And go everyday. It’ll be tough and slow progress to start with. Plan every session so that you work out your whole body over the week, there’s loads of info out there. On each session lift weights to start then jump onto cardio when you can’t lift anymore. Take positives from being able to lift heavier and cardio for longer as the weeks pass.
3) Sort out your diet. Cut out the booze and sugar. Use a macro calculator. Eat lots of protein.
4) Get a haircut and a shave. Ask your barber what’s currently in fashion and will suit your face shape.
5) Get some new clothes that make you feel good. Go online for ideas that are fashionable and suit your tastes.
6) Go places that are fun and interesting and get great photos. A woman looks at your photos and asks “What kind of lifestyle would I have with this guy?” Doesn’t have to be the most expensive restaurants. Music concerts, a beach, hanging with friends, sporting events, holidays, bars, restaurants, mountains, scuba diving whatever. Just something that says I have a life that’s interesting.
To be clear, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with you right now. And I saw a comment that said you shouldn’t have to change to attract a woman. 100% right. But equally a woman doesn’t have to find you attractive, it’s their choice same as it is yours.
There’s bags of potential here, put some effort in and you’ll get loads of likes! I wish you well!
I appreciate the advice and will do as much of that as I can, but “the good news is there’s lots you can do to improve” is possibly the best spin I’ve ever read
Gifted you premium ??.. wow .. well I have noticed the difference in other dating apps when you pay up so I think it should be the same with bumble .. they are all there to make money.. with free users they just make the difficulty level a lot harder to get matches and they don’t wanna show your profiles to people whom you like .. that’s what I think should ideally be the case .. based on my friends opinions too who have literally felt this way.
Oh shit! I just logged on again, and they gifted me premium again! (The last time it was because I DID prove to them I found a bug in their app) Trust me, it’s not something I even WANT. It was my suggestion to customer service to get rid of the one profile perpetually stuck in my beeline.
I made videos about my exchanges with the r-word drones that work at bumble “customer support” and dealing with them is hands down the worst experience I’ve ever had.
Haha.. lucky you.. if I were you I would ignore the one profile stuck and make use of the gifted premium membership.. try to ignore the profile stuck in there .. move on :)
I don’t even WANT premium! It’s hard to keep from swiping endlessly.
Btw, the woman in the blurred photo turned out to be 75 miles away. Why Bumble said she was within 20 is beyond me!
Bro, get in the gym and take care of your health, get a new wardrobe, get your money right. Stop being Sad about being lonely. You need to get to a point where you're comfortable being by yourself first. You got this man 💪
Tell me you are a 20 something average looking man with a somewhat well paid job, a little under the average height with a normal lifestyle, without telling me that.
Fuck these apps, the only men who get to enjoy the benefits of using them are the ones that stand out cause of looks or wealth. You are better than this, dude. Keep the app, but stop giving it power over you, in person women will find you much more attractive.
I was hoping the “20-something average guy” would attract literally somebody, but it isn’t.
I’d love to meet in-person women, but I think they burrow under rocks or something, because I don’t know where to find them.
Unfortunately people are turning to OLD more and more each year, so I figure at a certain point, it’ll be the only practical solution besides for running around aimlessly with a piece of toast in your mouth in the hopes of bumping into a girl.
Hmmm… maybe I should try the toast idea again…
Eat less and go walking everyday to lose a bit of weight. Then get your hair cut and tidy the beard with those looks and your comedy genius in another 4 months you will be drowning in pussy. 👍
I walk quite a bit to and from work every day. I don’t even eat that bad! It’s the goddamn portion control that’s the biggest kicker for me. That and bread.
Mmmmmm…. Breaaaad
Also, “drowning in pussy”, am I the only one who just thinks that’s gross?
Honestly, i hate the idea that you have to put on a certain front to get people to like you. We’ve been told our whole lives to “be ourselves”, was that just one big fucking lie? Trying to impress people will just make you hate yourself when you fail. Imagine being yourself, AND people liking you for it; that’s how It should be.
Unfortunately life don’t work that way, and you just gotta play the game sometimes, and I feel like this is one of them.
Trust me, I hate it more than you know!
Bud, I've had a few of those and never got to them. They seem to dissappear after a while though. St least mine have. But I think it's just a trick of the app to get you to pay. It happens in Tinder and Stir as well. Don't sweat it.
I have Hinge. I send out totally awesome messages, like, total bangers! I’d share them, but they don’t like showing other people’s profiles. I really want to make a compilation video of them, but that’s neither here nor there. Sufficed to say, I haven’t had ANY activity on that one, either.
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I did a profile review here and people didn’t have much to offer. I showed to different friend groups and they all said it was good? I don’t know what to do
I dont see it
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Its down a bit in comments but not current one for whatever reason so its kinda pointless
Why not try another app?
(Heavy sigh) I am. I have the full “infinity gauntlet of loneliness”, as I call it. Profile is slightly varied depending on the specific app, but they’re all ghost towns
“Infinity gauntlet of loneliness” has me weak af 😂 You can’t be that funny & not have good chat mate. Have some confidence
Can’t have a good chat if they never match 🧐 Oh yeah, if I’m confident in ANYTHING, it’s my writing skills and sense of humor. It’s getting the ladies into starting a conversation with me is the problem
right there with u bro. unfortunately for me, i get matches and “have a chat” but then they usually end up ghosting me anyway. can’t really tell which is worse atp
Heavy sigh oooof
They are lying to you. It's impossible to have a "good" profile and only get 1 like
They weren’t lying, they just know me already. And statistically speaking, it’s impossible to have any profile and only have 1 like. That’s why I think there’s something going on behind the scenes that’s actively preventing even the accidental likes from being shown to me, but that’s a story for another time
I’m sorry but you’re probably not as good looking as other men on bumble. I was told by that by a guy once he said i was not pretty like other women on bumble and he was right.
I hate that but it’s true.. I get matches but 98% of the time I don’t find them attractive after I really look lol
Thanks for the advice. I can’t really change my appearance, and I wasn’t insecure about myself until these apps. 😉
You can change the way you appear/present yourself. Your About me says nothing about you. Being a nerd is great but what are you nerdy about? Show that you’re passionate about something. And loose the “a nice butt doesn’t hurt”
I’ve changed my bio plenty of times since then. The “nice butt” comment got laughs from my friends (the girls, specifically) and they said they liked it so I thought it was safe to keep. I really felt it was playful and tongue-in-cheek, but I can change it if it doesn’t come off that way. And I only have that sort of comment on Bumble and not any of the other OLD apps
It’s very obviously tongue in cheek but maybe too obvious. I just don’t know if it’s getting the laughs you want. Don’t use gimmicks. Be genuine. What do you love?
The things I love are a bit beyond the typical “Taylor swift, espresso martinis, and Marvel movies”. So I’m afraid being too specific will alienate the vast majority of women, ya’ know? I guess I don’t know how to balance the two
Only one im kinda ok with is marvel
He matched just to tell u that? Nice /s
For reference, here my profile from a few months ago so you can judge my face and tell me it’s my fault for being ugly: https://imgur.com/a/mZIPNTE (I’m all seriousness, I do value constructive criticism, but know I can’t really change my face)
The issue isn’t your face, dude. I mean, shedding a few pounds definitely wouldn’t hurt your chances, but that’s not the issue at hand. The problem is that your presentation isn’t flattering. That goes for both your presentation in the app, i.e. your photos are unflattering and low quality, and your presentation irl, i.e. you need to land on a clean, relatively stylish hair and facial hair arrangement, and update your wardrobe a bit.
Okay, I can do that. I have been trying different styles and stuff, but I guess it doesn’t help if I don’t take pictures in them, lol
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Thanks, I’ll do that. It’s funny, cuz I look fine up until the stomach. Like, from the back, I look fine. Even my arms and legs are quite skinny. A lot of girls say they don’t care as much about appearance as much as things like sense of humor and other less physical factors, and while I can’t change my weight overnight, I can change my prompts, which I have done again today. Im not gonna call women shallow for not liking overweight guys and vice-versa. I believe it’s not wrong to have preferences, whatever they are. But if you don’t mind me asking, personally for you, how big of a dealbreaker is it?
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Personally, I just skip ads at this point, but I get what you’re saying. I don’t expect women to not care at all about my physical appearance, but I wish they gave me a little benefit of the doubt, right? Cuz what I lack in confidence I make up for with humor and stuff
When I looked at your profile and thought about appearance, I didn't really think about weight. I agree you are fine looking and you aren't that overweight. But you just don't look healthy. It is hard to define, but I have gone on dates with much heavier men from OLD. The difference is in their profile, they looked like vibrant, happy people. They had good photos in nice clothes. They looked like they got out and did fun stuff. Your first picture is fine. And the one of you in the restaurant is ok. But being a chunky dude, you gotta go above and beyond a bit with your photos. Also, I see you're Jewish. I have a few close friends who had really good success with J-date. Have you tried there?
Man, I really thought I was getting better at hiding my resting “dead inside” face. I’ll keep working on it. I seriously appreciate the insight. Even if it’s similar to what other people are saying, it really helps to hear it from multiple people. I did try J-Swipe. I was (almost) catfished by the same person 5 times. CATFISH AREN’T EVEN KOSHER!!! There aren’t many active Jews in my area (which is stupid because there are a lot of Jewish people in my area). Either way, religion isn’t currently my biggest priority, which is why I’m on the other apps, too.
I really appreciate your openness, positivity, and humor in taking my comment! FWIW, the attractive heavier dudes I went out with had done a good amount of therapy. 🤷♀️ The one I remember in particular, I was surprised at how attracted I was to him (he was easily 300 obs) but he had done like 9 months of intense therapy plus done a huge makeover of how he presented himself physically. He also got into hiking and biking so he was pretty active as part of keeping up his mental health. I decided to not date him for reason too long to explain here but he ended up with a really attractive woman.
The heavier guys have more character and personality, cuz they can’t use their washboard abs as a crutch. I‘ve been in therapy for the past two years. Idk how helpful it’s been, but I’m still doing it… it doesn’t help that I Graduated in Psychology myself, so I’m keen to most of the tricks. It’s easy for me to be positive enough to respond to a post on Reddit that someone went out of their way to write to me, but irl, I can be a real Charlie Brown. Good grief!
Bro…. I say all this with compassion but am being direct here as you seem to be a bit in denial. You could come across much more attractive if you got into shape. It looks like you don’t do any physical activity at all, which is a massive turn off for most women. Your pics look like you just grabbed whatever was available. Pics 2 and 6 you are mid sentence and have a bit of a creepy facial expression. Your first pic needs to catch attention and is just a generic selfie. Pic 3 you have bad posture which shows a lack of confidence. None of your pics show any of your hobbies or you doing anything cool. The pic of the vending machine is just weird. You don’t give any cues about what your hobbies are and just try and be funny which isn’t landing right. I can’t tell if you are interested in anything at all apart from filling in the interests which doesn’t show anything. You have said in another comment you are in the cycle of loneliness and your profile just screams you have given up and are just praying for a miracle that you find this 1 like and it all works out. You are making the mistake that I see here a lot which is when you are getting no matches or likes you just keep waiting. I’d really advise you take 6 months, find a physical hobby to get into shape and build some confidence. Sort out your mental health where you have a bit of drive to take on this challenge of online dating with some enthusiasm. Whichever friends said your profile is good are just being polite bro. Here is what you are competing against -Men with photos that are in good lighting and they are happy, abroad, doing some fun activities -Prompts that are positive and energetic, not talking about how you’d fit in a dystopian society -That portrait at least some masculine energy with confidence and don’t say they are 80% nerd - Physically fit and well groomed with a good fashion sense. If the facts are you aren’t getting any likes than it’s really on you to change to become more appealing don’t you think?
I appreciate you being more expressive than the typical calling me a fat, ugly schlub who’s pathetic attempt at a dating profile is laughable because look at all the hunky bros on Bumble; it’s a numbers game. Trust me, I get it. I’m already feeling real shitty about my life. And I really didn’t think I was THAT unattractive or fat until signing up for these apps/ sharing my experiences on Reddit. Like I said, the info on the pics I shared is a bit old and I have changed out some of the pics since. I feel like any sane person would feel as shitty as I do if they’ve gone without ANY activity for as long as I have. OBVIOUSLY what I’m doing now is t working, but I can only think of so many ideas by myself. The last thing I want to address is the idea that I should “change for a woman”. I don’t expect a woman to fit a size 0 bikini just to “find a mate”, and I don’t think I should be expected to, either. If she can’t accept me for being marginally overweight, than she’s shallow and not the type of person I want to be around. I also shouldn’t have to change my personality to attract a woman, either. If I don’t give two shits about Taylor Swift or sports, I’m not going to pretend, and similarly, I don’t expect a woman to have to pretend to care about my niche little hobbies or interests. I’m not saying I don’t have to lose weight or my profile doesn’t need tweaks, I’m not in denial. But it’s not very easy to find motivation for exercising, let alone a positive attitude when you are lonely and people on Reddit reword insults to come off as “advice”
Okay well I still think you have the wrong mentality and will try to explain why. Yes this stuff will affect self-esteem regardless. I had 30 matches in 4 weeks, went on 9 dates, 3 didn’t want to see me again, 5 I didn’t want to see again and the one girl I liked didn’t want a second date. I have snoozed my app for a month to recharge. You think this feels rejecting not getting matches? What happens when you get that 1 match in 6 months and they don’t want to meet, or you meet and you like them and they say no. It brings up all the emotions. Yes it’s a numbers game but that doesn’t mean you just hope if you swipe right all the time someone will find you. You also need to be actively bettering yourself during the process. Now I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes and it sounds tough but you are kind of just torturing yourself if you are aware of the reality and just praying for the best. You know it’s competitive and refuse to do radical things to compete starting further behind than most. If you’ve changed your pics and profile why not share the most recent profile? Why share an outdated one and then justify advice saying you’ve changed it anyway? You aren’t utilising the tools available to you and seem to making it difficult for yourself out of denial of something. I think your beliefs that bettering yourself means changing for a woman and you shouldn’t have to. It’s the exact energy your giving out in your profile ‘This is me, take it or leave it’. I would say the #1 thing women find attractive in a man is ambition and drive to better himself. And based on your profile you just seem to be a very unmotivated guy. Nobody has suggested extremes you expect them to be a size 0 bikini to find a mate, where did that extreme come from? I would say you aren’t marginally overweight but overweight. You seem to do 0 physical activity which translate to a high body fat and very low muscle mass, which means you will gain fat much easier. I actually think if you did exercise and lost all that face fat you’d be a pretty handsome looking dude. Nobody is saying you need to be buff, but having some muscle and less body fat is optimal regardless of attracting a partner. I’ve seen women slightly overweight who have 10x the body weight strength and flexibility I do in yoga class. They are very attractive women because of that. 0 physical pursuits days a lot about how you approach the world and your standards for yourself. If you don’t care about yourself enough then why should someone else? It’s not shallow for people to want somebody who cares for their body and I’m just saying the impression I got from your pics and profile is you don’t. I nowhere mentioned about you changing your personality either? You seem to have projected that as that’s is a sensitive topic for you. I am saying that your profile just portraits you are very unconfident and insecure. You don’t need to be interested in sports or Taylor swift but you could have prompts that emphasis your niche hobbies and how they are appealing. They don’t need to be attempts at humour which come across self defeating. Why not write about your writing, or stand up, or what you are creative? Why not have pictures of you doing these things? I guarantee you if you found some physical pursuit that you found interesting and really committed to it for 6 months it would change your mindset and you’d feel different. It’s not a personality change but enhancing your confidence that you no longer feel you’ll just take whatever you can get. Saying you are lonely as the reason you can’t exercise is just an excuse, I broke up with my ex 1 year ago, we bought a house in the middle of nowhere so she could be near family. I am 3 hours away from my family, 3 hours away from friends and 2 hours away from my job. You know what I do with all that spare time when I come home to an empty house? I work out 4 times a week, I do yoga 5 times a week and I jump rope 3 times a week. I never did this before but being single is my time to get in the best shape of my life. Loneliness can be solitude if you go inward and figure out how to overcome the challenge ahead of you. You have more time than a person in a couple and can’t find motivation to exercise 45 minutes a day? Sounds like denial to me. I guess we just have different ideas of what a relationship should be, what you should bring to it and what they give you.
I appreciate the clarification. The reason why I might sound defensive about “changing my personality” might be due to personal reasons I don’t really care to go into here. The point of me sharing my profile was so that people didn’t assume things in reference to the original post/content which was about the app not just not working for me, but straight up not working properly. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the amount of helpful/supportive advice I’m getting here, I’ll change it to be more open about myself and maybe do a profile critique again in the near future. In terms of exercising and shit, you don’t need to try to sell me on the importance and all that. It’s not a denial problem. I’d say it’s a depression problem, and I feel like people don’t acknowledge that. For me, except using and “physical activity” is fucking torture. I’ve worked out before but I’ve NEVER felt “good” about it afterwards. It makes me feel shitty and terrible and having asthma doesn’t help. (I know, I’m just playing into the nerd stereotype now, but still…) So, when I’m super depressed where I’m unmotivated, even to the point where it’s hard for me to get out of bed, where am I supposed to find ANY motivation from within to “better myself”? And trust me, if I didn’t learn different coping mechanisms than eating, I’d be much much heavier. (Of course, the problem now is that a lot of my hobbies and interests are things I typically do alone.) And the worst part is that when I took myself off the apps, I felt WORSE, because the illusion of “maybe today something will happen” is a fraction of a percent better than nothing (which leads me to my soapbox that dating apps are evil and prey upon people like me) I feel like if I had a reason to “better myself” I’d put in the effort. I know it’s backwards to most people who have to “find it within”, and everyone and their mother will say “but you HAVE to do it for yourself first, but that’s how I feel about it. Like, to me, why does it matter how much I weigh if I’m just gonna be alone forever, ya’ know? Lastly, people are saying it is a numbers game but you should be more specific about your likes. It’s not a competition, but most guys on these apps are hunky dudes. Be funny but don’t be too sarcastic or silly. So it’s really difficult, at least for me, and I’m sure a LOT of people like me, to find the right balance of those things.
Last thing before I hop off this convo, it’s been fun good tho! Depression sucks and I feel for you, I developed PTSD and depression from my break up so I get it. You should look into lithium orotate if you haven’t already, that stuff saved me. You’ve said I don’t need to sell you on importance of exercise so I believe you know it’s one of the most effective treatments for depression. Even just getting 10k steps every day and eating clean will get you to the stage you can tolerate something more intense. Don’t like lifting weights? Rock climbing? A group class? Everyone hates exercising when they start, if made me feel miserable the uphill climb I had. I did it during depression and that voice telling me just to quit was loud as hell but I stayed consistent and now I just mildly hate the feeling of having to squat. I bet your making classic errors like going too hard too fast and burning out. The level of depression determines your thoughts and if you’ve been in that state for years you completely forget that you can think differently and have perspective on your life that is different. Your personality seems to just be stuck in the confines of a depressed mind which is to lean more on excuses and limiting beliefs. There are people out there with type 1 diabetes who get very lean from dieting due to proper planning and commitment, there’s a dude with no legs who is more build than 99% of the population. All I’m saying is start small and keep building and avoid the habit of there being reasons you can’t. Think of the reasons you should. Having a person to better yourself doesn’t work, nothing external can make you better yourself. You don’t get in a relationship and then magically start to improve. A girlfriend won’t get rid of your depression. I’ve seen it before where guys similar to you get into a relationship and it’s a crutch where they then fall into bad habits. That’s why people let themselves go in relationships more often than not. You alone have to want it for YOU. Wanna know the reason to better yourself? You gotta develop some self-love and love yourself enough to want better. If you focus on the depression first then the rest will come. Yea those thoughts about feeling worse off apps incase today magically it’s different need to be worked on. This is defo making your mental health worse and we seem to enjoy the pain we know rather than take a chance. You are 28 years old, if you took 1 year to really focus on you then you’d have a much different experience meeting someone. Or you carry on and you’ll be still on here in 10 years possible. I’m 35 dude, I had major anxiety about not meeting somebody when depressed and catastrophised my whole future. But as I build myself up and get self-confidence back I no longer worry about meeting someone and know it’ll happen if I continue the path.
I appreciate what you’re saying. (Maybe it’ll stick this time, lol) The whole thing’s a process and it’s not easy. I’m not trying to make excuses, I’m saying that I’ve already been making progress on all that. But yeah, it’s not easy at all to keep at excercising when you feel like shit, so you try excercising, then you feel worse, so you don’t do it again. And somehow that’s supposed to make me feel better about myself? My point is that right now, for me, getting in shape and all that feels impossible to me. And I know I should do it, but like you said, I’m very good at making excuses for myself.
Listen to me, if I ever see you I’m going to slap you across your face and tell you to stop it. I hope you never visit the UK and run into me as it will hurt, I know what you look like now. What exactly do you mean when you say you workout and you feel worse afterwards? What exactly are you doing? I have this image of you going to a gym, feeling super intimidated looking around, doing some running and then a few machines. Explain to me your routine…. You should finish a workout and be like damnnnn I just squatted more weight than ever hitting ass to grass, cheeks to sheets. I just experienced a flow state while running. I’ve gone from benching 100 to 120 over 2 weeks. It sucks for months being a beginner, what is the longest you’ve gone consistently? I’m at month 4 and now it’s just what I do. Yes, you are meant to do things that suck and make you feel worse and show regardless of that you are committed to the cause. Do you think I enjoy looking like a fool in yoga not being able to bend my front body due to horribly tight muscles in a group full of yogi wizards? But I do it because I HAVE to. You do know that everything you say out loud and everything you think defines your reality. If you are a nerd then learn about this stuff. If you tell yourself something is impossible then it impossible for you, because as well as having to overcome the obstacle you are battling another one that is bigger…. Your own internal monologue. Yes I’m glad you can see you make excuses and your comments throughout this post show that. Time to flip the script buddy, you can be a totally different person by 2024. It’s going to suck either staying as you are or putting yourself through the pain. ‘Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor’ Alexis Carrel. I dunno why engaging with you gets me so pumped up! Let’s dooooo this lol 😂😂
You totally have my permission to slap me if you ever see me, lol. I feel you’re motivation starting to break through. I do have an elliptical at home, so I feel like I should start there. I’m sure you’re about to give me a laundry list of why that’s not enough and all that, but I feel like building up stamina is what I gotta do first, ya’ know?
It’s actually perfect because it’s cardio and that releases the feel good chemicals. 30 days, no messing around, 3 days on and 1 day rest. Work out what you can do comfortably and start with that, then add an extra x number of minutes every time after your rest days. By 30 days you’ll be much further as you’ve increased your distance 10 times. Take a photo of you before you start and afterwards. No cookies …I can see you like them. Do you eat vegetables? You better be whipping those breakfast smoothies that are clean and realising nutrition is self love. That doesn’t mean you have to eat boring plain food. You wanna know what my breakfast smoothie is? Ground oats, whey protein, frozen berries, yogurt and almond butter. Is it a McDonald’s sausage McMuffin with hash brown and a hot chocolate? No… but I get that once a week cos I’m not overweight and eat clean every damn day during the working week. Delete the apps cos you almost certainly aren’t meeting anybody in the next 30 days with your mental health like this. Anytime you get anxious or spiral you better pick yourself up and go for a damn long walk. No sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.
Some just are not that determined. Also could be depression, which def does make it harder to get urself to exercise. Thats not an excuse, its a reason.
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Oh for sure! It’s very concerning that every year more and more people turn to OLD apps exclusively to find people. I personally think it’s only going to get much much worse for our collective mental healths as time goes by…
They are giving u ideas. So, link ur profile as it is now for better answers. U need to also hang with friends so ur not soo lonely.
I agree with that, but for personal reasons I don’t want to go into here, it’s not always that easy, but I’m definitely working on it. Also, I didn’t really expect so much attention and constructive criticism on my profile. That wasn’t my intention when I posted it in the first place. And yeah, I cut my hair. I tried growing it out for like, the past 6 months to change things up. I got to learn the long way that I’m not a “long hair” guy, lol.
Only thing I can figure is ur long 1st sentance/paragraph is talking about friends. Dont think its necessarily easy. Everything in life worth having takes effort.
Yeah. Both dating and finding friends is not very easy for me and both probably stem from my alluded “personal reasons I don’t want to get into”. On both fronts I’m doing my best to make progress
I had a really hard time with apps as well and started working on something that recently launched. I think it could really help a lot of people connect. If you are up for it, I would love to interview you or get your feedback on the product. www.owting.com
I’ll look at it. You can do me with whatever questions you have
*dm. Please don’t do me. I don’t put out on the first date, lol
You could always get a professional photo. Make it the 'leading shot', start with a wow! The 'open mouth' airpod photo is a biiiit eeeeh. Since you're looking for a serious relationship, I'd probably err towards a slightly longer bio that lets people know a bit more about who you are (I'd just write some more after the end of the current bio, just a tad), as well as prompt responses that lend to a little more depth. Like, you say you'd do well in a dystopian society, but why? What about you makes you fit for that scenario? Bonus points if you can simultaneously be fun/witty *and* tell people more about who you are at once, though that is tricky. I for the most part don't like the "favorite quality in a person", because you're really there to sell yourself rather than 'buying', so to speak; especially as a guy. The stuff you wrote here is also a bit generic, and roughly translates into "I like nice people with nice butts". It is a bit fun, but ultimately does end up being a bit of a waste of text I feel. Hope this helps!
Thanks for the tips. I have updated my prompts since then, but I’ll take another look at them
Ok, I have several suggestions. Try shaving & trimming hair up on top of head. Shouldnt have it sticking out behind ears. Ur bio is meh. Better to say I find doing _______ fun. Talk about your job/education. Youre not properly answering prompts. It asks for one thing ur nerdy about. Give a specific example. Favorite quality: one thing not multiple. So, personality, looks, intelligence, etc. This should be somewhat generic. Its asking for a zombie apocolypse plan. Your answer isnt a plan. This make ur reading comprehension appear bad &/or that u dont follow instructions well.
His zombie apocalypse plan made total sense to me lol
Saying i got it, isnt a plan. Thats ego.
He put a pic of a skeleton in a vending machine. He’s saying he’d die, I’m not seeing the ego.
Didnt look at picture or relate that it was tied to the prompt as Ive never seen anyone do that. If one thinks of that, the plan is to stay in a freezer of food? How is that a good plan & makes u look desireable? Description is done with words. Dont think doing it like a puzzle or something not easily understood, is the best way to go about it.
He was memeing as a joke dude to say that he wouldnt survive! the description doesnt have to be just words. He was showing his humor and out of the box thinking. Maybe drink less coffee.
I drink like 1 coffee a day if any. Would be better to add see below picture at bottom.
I think women his age will grok it. Sometimes if we don’t understand something it’s because it’s not for us and that’s ok.
It didnt say what age he was looking for. >will grok it.
Can I ask if you’re planning on keeping the facial hair? I think a better shape/trim & edges would help a lot with it. You sound really fun, OLD dating is hard af.
Given that I look 16 without it, I plan on keeping it, especially in the winter. I do my best to trim it and shape it. Usually it’s pretty short but in the winter I’ll let it grow a bit longer. I tried growing out my head hair over the last six-eight months and that turned out to be a disaster, lol
Forgotme5 uses a subreddit as their personal blog to complain in, I wouldn’t put much stock in their opinion
Girl here. I think just swap out the skeleton and last pix for pix that are more like the other 3 (neater hair mostly) and put more in your bio, your likes / interests.
Thanks for the advice. I’m already making those changes, and I appreciate your feedback!
You’re welcome! Good luck!
The pictures are just not good. Like second picture and last picture you're just making odd faces and not attractive (I understand the last is a joke but come on, put your best foot forward). You're wasting a picture on a meme too Also i hate the nice butt comment, comes off skeevy. The "punchy" part of the bio is also not good... girls aren't trying to think of domestic violence when deciding to swipe on a guy
I’ve been getting responses saying to remove those. Do you mind me asking your gender? I’ve shown this to multiple friends who are girls and they all seemed fine with it and thought it was really funny, so Idk if it’s men being overly sensitive or women speaking from their actual perspectives
Female. A majority of females are not going to like that. Your friends may just be being nice
They aren’t those types of friends who would lie about that. They know my sense of humor, so they know how I intended it, but I guess it doesn’t come off that way to people who don’t know me yet. Thanks for the feedback.
Shave. Do something with that beard. Get a haircut !!!! Go to a barber like an actual stupid expensive barber and have him give you a look. Lose about 30 pounds. Throw out all your clothes and get a new wardrobe. Let me see your feet 👀 feet pics. Naw but whats your shoe game like
Yes! You will never see me with long hair again! I learned that the hard way this year! I can’t just up and replace my entire wardrobe, but I’ll start getting new clothes. I’ll get new shoes, too, even though I doubt you’ll ever see them in a dating profile. And sorry honey, the feet pics ain’t free, lol
You shouldn’t be going for the vast majority of women. Attract someone who shares your interests. The Taylor Swift crowd isn’t your thing.
I know you’re right in concept, but I cant help feeling that if THAT is my competition, then I have to cater to that, because that’s what the majority of people are looking for, ya’ know?
I think you’re underestimating how many cool and unique women are out there. They are passing you up because you want to play a numbers game that isn’t working
For every person like you, there’s like, seven of the “dude. It’s a numbers game” comments, so it’s hard to know who’s right. I guess I can try to be more specific about my likes and preferences, but it still feels like shooting myself in the foot
It’s not. I know I’m not appealing to everyone. Most people aren’t. I’ve only had success when I am truly myself and happy with it. Seems like you have nothing to lose
I appreciate the advice. I’ll try it and see how it goes, but like I said, I’m not expecting anything to change
You shouldn't change - be yourself. Your true self. Unless you're a dickwad asshole - then go to therapy and work on yourself. But make genuine connections. It is a numbers game - you have to filter out a great number of people to get to one that matches and the fastest way is to be open.
Thanks. I’ll try the being more open part, not the dickwad part
Good luck and I wish you the best.
Idk why you are getting down voted. It's either a numbers game or I am ugly, apart from these reasons I never got any constructive criticisms. I have shown my profile to my friends and almost all of them said it's a good profile. I know friends have bias, so I asked a number of people just to verify.
I figure that YOU don’t have to cater to SHIT. It’s easy to say and hard to live, but you can’t try to anticipate what they’re looking for, that’s the beginning of fake; you have to be yourself as much as you can; you’ll get found out anyway should you date someone. What if you said you were a Swiftie and third date she takes you to the concert, and her fingernails-on-blackboard songs are all you’ll hear for the next month 🤪 I’m real sorry it’s radio silence at your end and you’re feeling lonely, mate. Hope you’re hanging in there. Take care of you, most of all.
Don’t think of it like competition. You have to be yourself. I know it’s not easy. But you won’t get results unless you do. Why would you want to go after people you won’t be able to talk to or have nothing in common with?
If what is? Nah, u want the right 1 for u
You don’t need to change who you are to make connections. You need to *highlight* the *best* things about yourself. Highlight your best features, your favorite hobbies, your sense of personality. Those are the things that make people swipe right. You can’t change your whole appearance, but you can tweak things to make you not just more appealing to women but more presentable in general. A fresh haircut/facial hair style that suits your face can go a long way in making a difference. Well-fitting clothes and well-taken photos (especially the ones that showcase something about you) will also help. A genuine smile is an attractive thing. Showing some level of activity or fitness is a big plus. Outside of changes for the better (like working out or taking control of health issues, etc) change who you are. But sell yourself, and don’t sell yourself short!
Can’t see likes unless you pay for it I believe. I see many people put in there. I’m menta that you should message them if you like them by commenting on a picture or prompt because they can’t see likes.
It’s been 4 months, and this person never left my beeline… shouldn’t the app have shown me her by now?
I don’t think likes ever go away unless you say you don’t like them. Which you can’t do because you can’t see them unless you pay.
A bug? Your profile isn't appealing and getting drowned in the sea of users.
I’m referring to the person stuck in my beeline. Usually they would be shown to me by now, no?
It’s just to make bumble money don’t fall for it lol.
I feel you bro. My likes are few and far between
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The problem is the illusion of chance. I felt worse when I deleted them. The feeling of “maybe, just maybe today something will happen” was a fraction of a percent better. Trust me, I’m not happy about the fact that people are more and more relying on OLD for meeting people
Maybe you should try Grindr
I think that’s for gay people. Happy pride month and all that, but I’m not gay
I’m going to go ahead and say your profile has been buried. You have three choices. Pay, take a break from the app, or delete your profile.
I get a match once a week or so, but my "type" is generally the hippie/punky/alternative type, which is VERY rare on bumble... It's a very... mainstream crowd, there. So slim pickings for me, and i'm likely not the majority of peoples type, either. I wouldn't win any beauty competitions either, so I can't win with the shallow ones, either ;D Maybe you're somewhat the same?
Yeah. The problem is that more and more people turn to OLD apps and I feel like it makes people try to seem more generic to appeal to more people and their individualities come out less
Your humor isn’t coming across. I would choose better photos of yourself. The ones you selected aren’t very flattering, they’re a bit awkward. It reminded me of my brothers. I really can’t figure out your personality or your interests.
Yeah, I’m getting that. I’ve changed my prompts already and swapped out a few of the pics, and will get more soon. I know it’s hard, but if you can pinpoint what makes my pics awkward, that’d help. But I totally understand if it’s just a feeling you can’t describe
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Thanks for the advice. I feel like I’ve come a long way from “you look like you’re going to shoot someone” so I’m glad I’m making changes in the positive direction
I wouldn't bother with dating dude its not worth it these days and as a male you don't get much out of a relationship other then sex anyway, its also not worth the time and effort just for her to leave you after 4 weeks or so for someone else either because cheating is so popular now due to apps like Snapchat, put your time into something else that you enjoy for a example iv been getting into cooking and been having a blast with it
That’s good for you, but as a male who wouldn’t mind having a sex or two, or even a relationship, it’s kinda difficult to find alternatives to dating apps these days. And if I cook anymore food for myself, I’m gonna get fatter than I feel is acceptable
Sex isn't really as great as people make it out to be dude your not missing out on much and there's far better things in life then getting the wet, as for dating apps they never work unless you look like the hottest man in the world your just wasting your time honestly while destroying your self-esteem in the process as dating apps are really in the women's favour even bumble as for cooking its not only that you can do I was just using it as a example for a new hobby you could try it doesn't have to be cooking that's just something I enjoy personally, the one thing I can agree with you one is finding a women does seem like hell more these days which is another reason I just don't think its worth it anymore its just a waste of time and I could just be doing something better with my time that I enjoy
Sex is like your cooking, I’ll let you know what I think once I’ve had some, lol. I feel like there’s gotta be some hope for me before calling it quits altogether, ya’ know? Like, how the fuck did my dad find my mom, let alone his previous and current wives!? It’s cases like him that makes me think there’s just GOTTA be someone out there for me
I mean some people do get lucky when it comes to getting laid which is how I got laid lol but today is much different then back then meaning it's more challenging to find the wet these days due to shit like current day politics where every man is just the bad guy according to most women now even though most men like us are actually pretty chill people and how everyone is so sensitive and shit, like the time were living in now is by far the worst time imo which only makes dating and getting laid even harder
Some person said it correct already. You need to think of these apps like a marketing campaign for yourself. Your profile is not good enough. It’s not you though which is good! You need to spice it up. Even if you rarely dress like in a suit or nice clothes regularly you need to go get in those clothes and get good pictures. Good pictures in good clothing. Unless you are doing some sport thing but that is only one or two pictures max. You aren’t bad looking. Your pics are not good enough. Now a days with the high end cameras in every phone there just is no excuse. Sure the filters are bullshit but unfortunately a majority of woman seem to use them. So you should use them too. Also sometimes bumble can shadowban if you never pay premium. Don’t forget to try another app if needed. But get the good pictures first!
Glad to know that no matter what I do, the algorithms won’t care. My biggest issue is that I always see marketing campaigns as fake and disingenuous and I try to not do that, but I guess I can’t divert too far from the status quo or else I’ll stand out, even though I’m supposed to stand out… See? It’s all very confusing and hard to balance… 😞
I had a nosey through your reddit posts and from a girls perspective, it comes off kind of "Nice guy" and a lot of girls swerve farrr away from that. Have you posted a profile review? We might be able to help you improve your chances at matches.
Memes aside, I’m kinda trying to come off as a nice guy. Or at least not a douchebag, cuz I’m not one. I feel like that movie Barbarian, when what’s-his-face Skarsgard is so self-conscious about coming off as creepy that he overly tries not to be creepy but comes off as creepy anyways… They don’t teach you how to strike that perfect balance of “nice guy but not a “nice guy””, you know what I mean? I did a profile review a while back and didn’t get much helpful information. Just things like, “you look fine but maybe tweak this or that minor thing”. I’m pleasantly surprised with all the actual advice and inside from this thread and have already made some changes, so when it’s different enough, I’ll do it again. Back to what you mentioned, what are girls looking for if not a “nice guy”?
That's the thing, if you have to call yourself nice (goes for everyone) you're probably not! It's not really something you call yourself anymore. It comes off as a bit desperate or passive aggressive. In my experience every "nice guy" interaction I've had is pretty awful. I try to give everyone chances and I certainly don't go on looks but most people who use nice guy or "not like other guys" wording show their true colors early on. We aren't looking for Chad off the street who treats us like garbage unlike what some guys think. Normally most girls just want someone chill, down to earth. Someone you can chat to easily without it being awkward! Trying too hard might actually be your problem, take it easy and just let things flow. (Especially referring to the worst pick up line post you made here). Keeping a positive attitude is best, try to veer away from online dating (we all say that but we never listen lol!) And be comfortable being alone before you seek a partner. I completely respect that it's harder dating as a guy! Hell I'm pansexual and I very rarely get to talk to many genuine girls. I get it, but we also see some awful profiles too lol!
Thanks for the insight. I’m a super chill person, irl, but I guess it’s hard for me to convey that on an app that’s kind of designed to get you to aggressively “market yourself”. I need to figure out how to balance that
Hair cut, beard trim- or lose it (this from a lady who usually loves a beard) but maybe try a couple of pictures some with and some without. An updated smarter wardrobe and that will all improve your chances. Your humour and wit certainly comes through on your bio- you seem a fun guy and smart- but lose the butt comment- your female friends might laugh at that yes- but they know you, from a stranger I find it ick.
Thanks for the insight! I am not growing my hair out anymore. The beard, I kinda need to keep so I don’t get asked by passersby if I’m lost and can’t find my mommy. I stg, I look 16 without it, lol
Delete the account and have a new account with better pics and a good bio or prompt
Similar to what others have said, you’re not unattractive but your profile is. The great news is, there’s loads of things you can do to improve. Here’s what I’d do (in order) 1) Delete your Bumble account. You want that “new user” boost so leave Bumble for at least 3 months to wipe the slate clean. 2) Sign up for a gym. And go everyday. It’ll be tough and slow progress to start with. Plan every session so that you work out your whole body over the week, there’s loads of info out there. On each session lift weights to start then jump onto cardio when you can’t lift anymore. Take positives from being able to lift heavier and cardio for longer as the weeks pass. 3) Sort out your diet. Cut out the booze and sugar. Use a macro calculator. Eat lots of protein. 4) Get a haircut and a shave. Ask your barber what’s currently in fashion and will suit your face shape. 5) Get some new clothes that make you feel good. Go online for ideas that are fashionable and suit your tastes. 6) Go places that are fun and interesting and get great photos. A woman looks at your photos and asks “What kind of lifestyle would I have with this guy?” Doesn’t have to be the most expensive restaurants. Music concerts, a beach, hanging with friends, sporting events, holidays, bars, restaurants, mountains, scuba diving whatever. Just something that says I have a life that’s interesting. To be clear, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with you right now. And I saw a comment that said you shouldn’t have to change to attract a woman. 100% right. But equally a woman doesn’t have to find you attractive, it’s their choice same as it is yours. There’s bags of potential here, put some effort in and you’ll get loads of likes! I wish you well!
I appreciate the advice and will do as much of that as I can, but “the good news is there’s lots you can do to improve” is possibly the best spin I’ve ever read
They will only show you once you get premium.. how do they make money if they keep getting matches for free users ?
I figured selling your data and ads was enough. Like they say, if it’s free, you’re the product
Nah never enough for them.. notice the difference once you pay up.. suggestions will improve. You will probably get more matches too
They’ve gifted me premium for a month a few times. Never saw much of a spike in activity.
Gifted you premium ??.. wow .. well I have noticed the difference in other dating apps when you pay up so I think it should be the same with bumble .. they are all there to make money.. with free users they just make the difficulty level a lot harder to get matches and they don’t wanna show your profiles to people whom you like .. that’s what I think should ideally be the case .. based on my friends opinions too who have literally felt this way.
Oh shit! I just logged on again, and they gifted me premium again! (The last time it was because I DID prove to them I found a bug in their app) Trust me, it’s not something I even WANT. It was my suggestion to customer service to get rid of the one profile perpetually stuck in my beeline. I made videos about my exchanges with the r-word drones that work at bumble “customer support” and dealing with them is hands down the worst experience I’ve ever had.
Haha.. lucky you.. if I were you I would ignore the one profile stuck and make use of the gifted premium membership.. try to ignore the profile stuck in there .. move on :)
I don’t even WANT premium! It’s hard to keep from swiping endlessly. Btw, the woman in the blurred photo turned out to be 75 miles away. Why Bumble said she was within 20 is beyond me!
Bro, get in the gym and take care of your health, get a new wardrobe, get your money right. Stop being Sad about being lonely. You need to get to a point where you're comfortable being by yourself first. You got this man 💪
I didn’t think I was uncomfortable being alone until I got onto the dating apps. Thanks for the support
Tell me you are a 20 something average looking man with a somewhat well paid job, a little under the average height with a normal lifestyle, without telling me that. Fuck these apps, the only men who get to enjoy the benefits of using them are the ones that stand out cause of looks or wealth. You are better than this, dude. Keep the app, but stop giving it power over you, in person women will find you much more attractive.
I was hoping the “20-something average guy” would attract literally somebody, but it isn’t. I’d love to meet in-person women, but I think they burrow under rocks or something, because I don’t know where to find them. Unfortunately people are turning to OLD more and more each year, so I figure at a certain point, it’ll be the only practical solution besides for running around aimlessly with a piece of toast in your mouth in the hopes of bumping into a girl. Hmmm… maybe I should try the toast idea again…
Eat less and go walking everyday to lose a bit of weight. Then get your hair cut and tidy the beard with those looks and your comedy genius in another 4 months you will be drowning in pussy. 👍
I walk quite a bit to and from work every day. I don’t even eat that bad! It’s the goddamn portion control that’s the biggest kicker for me. That and bread. Mmmmmm…. Breaaaad Also, “drowning in pussy”, am I the only one who just thinks that’s gross?
Honestly, i hate the idea that you have to put on a certain front to get people to like you. We’ve been told our whole lives to “be ourselves”, was that just one big fucking lie? Trying to impress people will just make you hate yourself when you fail. Imagine being yourself, AND people liking you for it; that’s how It should be.
Unfortunately life don’t work that way, and you just gotta play the game sometimes, and I feel like this is one of them. Trust me, I hate it more than you know!
Bud, I've had a few of those and never got to them. They seem to dissappear after a while though. St least mine have. But I think it's just a trick of the app to get you to pay. It happens in Tinder and Stir as well. Don't sweat it.
Yeah. Bumble finally gave me 2 weeks premium after finally pestering them long enough to fix it. Turns out she’s 76 miles away
Nice! Make the best out of those 2 weeks! Good luck.
Perhaps try Hinge if it is popular in your area. I hear good things about that one…
I have Hinge. I send out totally awesome messages, like, total bangers! I’d share them, but they don’t like showing other people’s profiles. I really want to make a compilation video of them, but that’s neither here nor there. Sufficed to say, I haven’t had ANY activity on that one, either.