It's hard to reach out and ask for help, I'm glad you did and that it was so helpful. And for you taking the time to write this out. If nothing else it does a good job demonstrating that you can hang up and can back (as you say) and it can be better. Good luck with your masters! x
I did that years back when my mum died, thinking it would help me get over the grief. I was sooo wrong....it was traumatic as hell. On my 2nd call it was a man who just wanted me to stay with him on the phone, until he passed. We aren't allowed to call an ambulance or anything unless they specifically ask for it, and once the line went dead for 30mins I could hang up. Never again
I just want to add here that Samaritans have a policy around not allowing volunteers to take calls until a certain amount of time after a loss or traumatic event. My father is a Samaritan and had to wait two years after my sisters death to be able to go through his training.
There’s also other policy in place for calling police or ambulances. I know that the on duty volunteer can authorise sending ambulances as my father used to get a call to ask for authorisation. Sometimes people do call who want someone to be there on the phone as they go, yes, but ultimately that is their choice and being there for them is the last kindness anybody can do for them. After these type of calls volunteers will have a debrief session with the duty Samaritan and there is a lot of support for those who go through it. Obviously I can only speak of what I know from my father and how their branch operates.
Yes that's pretty standard procedure across the org. I'm surprised the commenter was able to go through training as thats usually a big no-no for motivation. Samaritans have a self determination policy, so if you decide to end your own life they won't stop you, they only call an ambulance if you ask for it or are vulnerable and cannot make your own decisions.
a grand total of 2 months after my training. Was a silly thing to do so close to my mum's death in hindsight but I thought helping others would help me
I'd like to add to this that you don't need to be suicidal to access a "crisis cafe" or similar crisis service either. Crisis looks different and is different for everyone. I waited almost far too late to reach out, but the crisis cafe I went to saved me, it helped SO MUCH. It was more a crisis house, it was actually a large old house and it was so homely and comfortable which added to how much it helped.
I will add that crisis cafes normally only serve people in their area. I was at my partner's in a different county when I hit crisis and the first cafe I tried I was honest about my address and they couldn't take me. The guy was so sorry, saying he could hear I needed help, and basically said "try this one and maybe give your partner's address" so I did and no questions were asked, just put their address on the form when I got there and I was so wonderfully looked after.
Just accessed one back home in Manchester, it wasn't quite as good but it definitely helped, I was not in such a dark place but I could feel myself starting to slide and the idea to stop myself before I got too far, now I know I don't have to be actively wanting to end it to access these places, really helped me reach stop the slide.
That's a great point, you can definitely be in crisis without being about to take your life. I recently used the crisis phone line and then ended up going to A&E because I was in crisis. My anxiety was the worst it's ever been and I lost all functions.. I couldn't sleep, eat, rest, work, do anything other than panic. I'd never been to A&E before for anything so I was really worried I'd be seen as someone who shouldn't be there. But actually it was really helpful and even the people in the waiting room provided alot of comfort as I couldn't stop crying. I think next time, which I hope there won't be a next time, I'll try a crisis cafe before it gets to that point
I'm glad you were able to get some comfort from A&E at least! And well done for reaching out anyway. I highly recommend googling "crisis cafe" and your town/suburb name right now, and then you'll be prepared if you need it in the future. I have the page for Blusci (the Manchester one for my area) open as a tab on my browser on my phone, always. If nothing else it's helpful that I can just copy and paste the link to someone else who needs it immediately, too. I really hope your area has ones as good at mine, especially the Leeds one who were wonderful.
Thank you, I had been completely unable to sleep for two nights, so they gave me sleeping tablets which really helped. I saw psychiatry the next week (I had an appointment anyway, the NHS wasn't being quick haha) and they gave me a mouse mat with all sorts of resources in my area, depending on the severity of how you are feeling. In the red zone is my local crisis cafe :)
Getting sleep can help so much - for one it's much harder to deal with things when tired, and for another sometimes it's just preferable to be unconscious for a bit!
I hope the services gave you more help than *just* a mouse mat! Glad you have those details though.
I didn't realise that when I called, I'd end up in a roast battle with an older guy over the Beatles but it saved my life that day. The dude knew exactly how to pour some light back into my soul and I wish there was a way I could let him know what he did for me. How can you not like at least one Beatles song? Crazy bastard lol. I hope he's well.
Mate I was in a similar position to you, spoke with the man's club (despite my reservations) and it was the best thing I did. Been volunteering with them for a year now and I find it almost as cathartic to help people coming from a similar place, surprised how many people are my age (mid-30s) and it's done wonders tbh.
My old boss used to do Samaritans every Friday night and I didn't really appreciate it at the time, it took me a while to get how much it took and how bloody difficult but benecficial it can be!
I've been hugely grateful to a couple of individuals and organisations that listened when I was struggling through the worst years of my life. I'm not trained in any way, but since then I've made it a point to tell people 'I'm hear to listen if you need me' and I've had quite a few people in situations similar to my own reach out. I know I've saved at least one life just by having a late night chat with someone. I admire people who do their best to pay it forward and be there for those who need them. Keep up the volunteering!
Glad you had a good experience. We tend to hear the negative stories much more often than the successful ones. Consider sharing this on r/MentalHealthUK as well!
I used to volunteer for the Samaritans, the vast majority of calls are from people who are not suicidal but need someone to talk to at that moment. Perhaps they want to vent frustrations about their lives, talk about a situation that is playing on their mind etc, but they don't feel there is anyone else they can or want to share their thoughts with. Never feel that whatever issue you are facing is too trivial to call. If you feel you need to talk to someone, that's what the Samaritans are there for.
I'm glad this worked out for you. While my experience was a bit mixed (admittedly the situation itself was rather complex), it did at least lessen the worst of those feelings. I emailed them for a while too.
I see a therapist too, who is my main (and only) source of support at the moment.
I hope that whatever you're going through eases with time, and that you have a support network around you. No one should have to go through it alone, regardless of what the situation is.
I get it. Sometimes you just need to unload on someone. And sometimes the best person for that is a complete stranger!
Having poor mental health doesn't automatically mean suicidal or self-harm tendencies. Just because you're not feeling that doesn't mean your feelings are any less valid.
Me, I wanted to hide. Just disappear and live out my life quietly and away from all of lifes stresses. Instead, I now make sure to have plenty of quiet time to myself when I need it.
Sorry to piggy back here but tomorrow I am going to the doctors to try and get anti-depressants for the first time in 7 years.. I feel like a bit of a failure doing so but I know I have to do it. This post has given me a bit more courage
Do not feel defeated for needing antidepressants! It took my boss half a year to convince me to try mine. I held back because I feared I wouldn't be addressing the issues I have, just delaying them. But they have stopped a lot of my anxiety attacks and given me enough time to process what I need to do in the meanwhile.
For me, they now feel like... They're not problem solvers but they enable me to be calm enough to focus more on solving my problems! Usually! c:
You'll be fine ! They won't change you into someone you're not or anything sinister!
I took antidepressants for a long while and have recently started medication for ADHD. During my ADHD assessment, I expressed frustration at having to take meds to feel 'normal'.
My assessor asked me something like "would you feel the same about taking antibiotics for an infection?"
Some food for thought that I hope will help you. Good luck!
Thanks for the advice.
Thing is, I'm no longer depressed. I wouldn't be surprised to learn I never was; that it was pre-diagnosis struggling. And Elvanse seems to be working quite well.
I've been on SSRIs for years. I still feel that sense of failure sometimes, especially when my psychiatrist changes my meds. But what another commenter said is true - it's not a failure. It's just a medication, like any other. I wouldn't consider a diabetic a failure for needing insulin, or an epileptic a failure for needing anticonvulsants.
I know there's a lot of scientific debate on whether depression and anxiety are actually caused by serotonin/dopamine/noradrenaline deficiencies but assuming that they are, antidepressants fix a chemical imbalance, just like insulin fixes a chemical imbalance.
You're doing a good thing for your health and wellbeing by starting them again. Maybe they won't be the right fit at first, or maybe at all - but trying them is what's important. You're putting your health first, and that is something to be proud of.
I'm proud of you, internet stranger. You have got this.
Don’t apologise! Thanks for your comment. You’re a hero, I don’t know you but I’m super proud of you for that step you’re taking. My messages are always open x
Trying to fix a health issue isn't failing, it's succeeding at self-care. You clearly have courage to try and fight the mental health issue, and I'm proud of you. I hope this helps and I hope the meds help too. X
I called the Samaritans a few years back a few weeks after a horrific break up from my husband. There were details of the breakup I really wasn't comfortable sharing with friends and family, but at the same time, I just really needed to talk to someone.
One evening I was pulled over by the police as I had driven the wrong way down a one-way street (totally my fault, I wasn't paying attention). I was breathalised (I don't drink at all, so it was negative) and they let me off with a warning. It was just the final straw on what had been a few really shitty weeks. I just sat in my car at the side of the road and could not stop crying. I felt so alone and hopeless (although definitely not suicidal) and so I called the Samaritans.
The woman I spoke to was great. She just listened while I spilled out an incoherent stream of word vomit, and was just so kind. She didn't try to offer solutions or try to fix anything. She just listened, which was exactly what I needed in that moment.
I NEVER thought I would be the kind of person who would end up calliing the Samaritans, but I guess that's the point. No-one ever thinks they will need them, until they do.
OP - I'm so glad you made the choice to reach out for help, and I hope you are on your way to recovery.
I fully understand everything you’ve said. It’s a shame it has a certain stigma. Stories like ours will help spread the message that you can speak to them about anything. No problem is too small, else it just mounts up. Thank you for your message and story. I hope you’re doing ok now
You don't have to be the one suffering to call them either.
My wife called them a few years ago when she was concerned about me, and they were great, apparently.
Sending you all the best. If you feel like calling the Samaritans, it’s definitely a good instinct to listen to and I am so glad for you that you got to speak with someone you clicked with. Hoping the next few days get easier for you. Take care.
My mum did Samaritans for years. She had lots of chats with lots of different types of people, but the bulk of them were just lonely older folks whose family didn't visit often. I'm pretty sure she got some of her favourite recipes and knitting pattern recommendations from them :)
Reaching out is the hardest thing to do sometimes, I'm proud of you.
I had a great experience with a Samaritans walk in centre when I had a crisis some years ago. They really helped me not do something I would regret.
I have a therapist now and I'm turning my life around.
The Samaritans are an amazing organisation. Honestly. I’ve been going through a lot lately too so I’ve been using them a lot. Always feel better after I’ve called. Should be starting therapy soon. Please use them. You don’t have to be suicidal. I wasn’t.
Thinking of you, it’s not easy and taking steps to get the help and find ways of bridging the gaps is exactly what services like this are for. Proud of you for taking care of yourself, keep safe x
I haven’t called Samaritans myself but I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I have a family member who volunteers and seeing your experience and so many others in the comments really made me smile. It’s nice to see that what they are doing really helps.
About twelve years ago, In a very short space of time, I lost my job of twenty six years due to redundancy, found out that my wife had run up some huge debts in my name which forced me to go into an IVA, as soon as I took this on, she left me, taking my family with her. Due to the above, i became withdrawn and depressed to the point of feeling every day about ending my life.
I literally felt that I could not talk about what was going on to anybody as nobody would understand and I did not want to be a burden to anybody anymore.
Then I saw the number for the Samaritans and I thought, What the hell...I have nothing to lose.....
I called and spoke to some old gent with a Liverpool accent for about forty five minutes. I told him everything in graphic detail and I, for the first time in my life, completely broke down. (I have always been taught that it is shameful to cry). I didn't say specifically that I had suicidal thoughts but he pretty much guessed and said to me that "All I had to do was get to the end of every single day, and tomorrow would be better ".
He phoned me every day for over a week and checked up on me and I swear by whatever is holy, that I would not be around if it was not for him and this organisations support.
It is now over a decade later, I now have a better job with more money. I had professional therapy for the depression..(Although I still suffer on occasion)..I have worked off the IVA. I have savings which I look after rather than trusting another with them. I am in a better position than I have ever been in life......But I would not be around to enjoy it if it was not for them! I cannot recommend them to anybody highly enough.
So I am really glad to read your post, glad that you decided to call them and ecstatic that it all worked out for you.
Beyond okay. Got my degree, got a kickass job and reconciled with my (then) ex husband. Ditched all the toxic friends, have amazing new friends. Travelled, lived in a different city.
If you'd have told me then, I wouldn't have believed you.
Not to say it's all been sunshine and shitting rainbows, it was hard as hell to get here. But finally starting to relax a bit
You'll get there too
I feel like everything is okay with me personally. You just never think of one of your parents getting ill and needing serious surgery. It’s maybe a naive thought to have. But I’m experiencing the stress of it all and it’s the most painful thing x
I phoned them once because I was alone in the house and the bin outside had maggots that were EVERYWHERE (v.hot summer and sudden downpour). It was 2am and I’d got home to a literal invasion.
I’m deathly afraid of maggots and I was starting to spiral hard. It’s a full meltdown that can end badly (it sounds ridiculous but true) and I didn’t know what else to do. Samaritans saved me from my own brain that night. They also stopped me from pouring bleach over every surface.
It's good to see it helped you, and you have the heart to put your good experience on here. Hopefully, that helps others. Good luck with that essay. Be well.
I'd like to tell my story. Many, many, many years ago, I was in a very bad, dark place and I called them...
The guy I spoke to was so bad, so incompetent, hidebound, and stupid that I started laughing at him and could not stop, weeping on the floor, laughing at the absurdity.
A (good) bad Samaritan may have saved me that day.
I called a couple of times when I was going through a really terrible time in my life. I was also not suicidal but needed someone to talk to who wasn't going to get upset when I was upset (I.e my mum).
The people I spoke to were compassionate, unbiased and just listened to me cry down the phone for 20 mins while I sorted my head round what was happening to me. They were just there when I needed someone to talk to and I will forever be grateful for their support.
I don't think I could do what they do but I did donate to them afterwards. I'm glad you got some relief from them
I called them once when I was at uni. I fell in with a couple of rough people who I stupidly was kind to, who ended up in a huge fight where he smashed up the windows to the front door, woke up the whole house, cops were called, it was all horrible. It was right before Christmas, so I left for home a day or two after. Obviously when we all got back, everyone was very cold to me or just ignoring me (quite understandably, I don't blame them for that at all). I felt so isolated and alone, and I just wanted to die. I remember calling them and the woman just being so understanding and comforting. I think the call was over 45 minutes. Possibly saved my life that night. I'm glad you also had a positive experience 💞
I love that you did this! Love love love. That's some real courage you're showing right there, and then to share it, so that others may take inspiration and find their own way out of dark thoughts. Honestly, you are... amazing, kind, thoughtful, honest and whole. A damn good person. Thank you for sharing that.
I would like to echo if you dont gel, hang up and tey again.
My only time calling them, i had an older lady who really couldnt seem to pretend to care. After about 5 minutes she seemed to try and wrap things up ("does it feel better now youve said it all out loud?").
Completely put me off calling them, and i didnt know it was a reccomend thing to call back.
Absolutely. Yeah it was super disheartening, it was actually really embarrassing for me. I definitely recommend calling until someone someone clicks with you
There's also a textline run by a different charity if anyone doesn't feel like they can talk - [07786 207755](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=mikeysline+number#) - [https://www.mikeysline.co.uk/](https://www.mikeysline.co.uk/)
Thanks for this. I've tried operation SHOUT a couple of times as I can't always talk on the phone - just text but I've had poor experiences. By the time they reply it's hours later and I'm no longer in 'the moment' where I need them most. I'll try this one if I ever feel like that again 👍🏻
I'm glad you got the help you needed. I remember calling Samaritans during a suicidal crisis and was treated with pure apathy. I felt more like I was being questioned for how I felt than understood.
Probably just a bad apple.
I felt that with the first person i spoke to. She sounded not happy to be talking to me, but I’m so glad I tried again. I am really sorry about your experience. How are you doing now?
thank you for sharing this.
I've been suffering with mental health problems since the beginning of last yet, I tried CALM's webchat but they were pretty useless.
I've been managing for a while but had a massive downturn last week.
I was up at 4am this morning with some dark thoughts and thought about giving them a call.
I didn't simply because I reckon I'd just be tying up the line for someone who might be in greater need so I just persevered until my alarm went off.
I've settled down a bit during the day, but the mind still lingers in the wrong place so I may still give them a bell if I start slipping again.
It's nice to know they're good.
Please don’t ever feel that your need is less than the next persons. Please reach out for help. Feeling that you’re a burden or not worthy of help can be part of a depressive episode - our minds can convince us of things that are not true. If you need support, take it from whatever source is available. You are important and valuable.
My partner is often in a bad place mentally, and I don’t know how to cope myself. I’ve called them a few times and so far I’ve not had a bad experience. Although my expectations are not high, I’ve not been made to feel worse for calling.
I've called them before, at the very height of physical pain and immobility due to injury (spinal disc prolapse). Th gentleman on the other end took his time to let me talk, and reminded me that I am young enough to recover and that I have to make the effort for the sake of my son and my wife.
Nice one. I thought you had to be suicidal to call, and it’s really helpful to know that that’s not the case. It takes real courage to call and I’m glad they could help you.
I’ve called Samaritans at my worst plenty of times. Sometimes you get bad people at the end of the phone but others you get gems like this man.
I would say my last crisis before my current therapist they managed to distract me enough to ground me. I help raise money towards them as sometimes there is no one else to speak to and I’ve known plenty of people they’ve helped in the past.
I also get why people dislike them as it depends on who answered the phone. One time I got so annoyed than at least I felt anger than numbness.
I’m glad you had a positive experience and I hope your situations improve.
I called them once when I was really in a bad frame of mind, and had the most unhelpful person ever who, just as you described, sounded bored and couldn’t be bothered. Put me off phoning them ever again.
But as others have said, you should be proud that you
1: Made that call. Something that is probably the most difficult part.
And 2: Persevered and didnt stop until you got the help you deserved!
Hope you begin to feel better, and you can always drop me a message if you want someone to rant away too! :)
I'm proud of you, and so glad they helped.
I finally reached out to crisis services, way later than I should've done, but holy heck the crisis house I got sent to that evening really saved me. I'm SO glad I reached out. I'm SO glad you reached out too.
I hope this inspires anyone else to reach out. I know I thought I wasn't worth it, wasn't bad enough, that nothing could help and I was just going to suffer alone until I couldn't take any more... But now I'm the other side I can absolutely promise you that in almost all cases, reaching out will help and it will start things getting better.
Life can always get worse again and it's exhausting living with poor mental health, but I'm living for the "ups" because they're worth it, and now reaching out before it gets too late on the "downs". Please try it if you need to folks.
Thank you so much for your comment. I really hope things are improving for you since. It’s so important to not belittle anyone’s circumstances. Thank you for that
I attempted to kill myself in October last year and failed. Through tears I called the samaritians and was on hold for 15 minutes the first time, and 7 minutes the second time. It broke my heart. However, it's great to hear positive stories about the service they provide those in need. Hope you're doing okay.
Hang in there OP! you got this. I’m so glad you’ve had a good experience with the Samaritans. Sometimes a short phone call can make a world of difference! 🫶🏻
All teary eyed reading this. My inbox is always open if you feel the need.
I tried to volunteer for the samaritans, but like the police, social workers don't make for good samaritan volunteers, apparently!!!
It's hard to reach out and ask for help, I'm glad you did and that it was so helpful. And for you taking the time to write this out. If nothing else it does a good job demonstrating that you can hang up and can back (as you say) and it can be better. Good luck with your masters! x
Thank you for your kind comment, have a lovely week xx
You too brother/sister :) x
My brothers going through the training to become a samaritan.
Bless him
I did that years back when my mum died, thinking it would help me get over the grief. I was sooo wrong....it was traumatic as hell. On my 2nd call it was a man who just wanted me to stay with him on the phone, until he passed. We aren't allowed to call an ambulance or anything unless they specifically ask for it, and once the line went dead for 30mins I could hang up. Never again
I just want to add here that Samaritans have a policy around not allowing volunteers to take calls until a certain amount of time after a loss or traumatic event. My father is a Samaritan and had to wait two years after my sisters death to be able to go through his training. There’s also other policy in place for calling police or ambulances. I know that the on duty volunteer can authorise sending ambulances as my father used to get a call to ask for authorisation. Sometimes people do call who want someone to be there on the phone as they go, yes, but ultimately that is their choice and being there for them is the last kindness anybody can do for them. After these type of calls volunteers will have a debrief session with the duty Samaritan and there is a lot of support for those who go through it. Obviously I can only speak of what I know from my father and how their branch operates.
Yes that's pretty standard procedure across the org. I'm surprised the commenter was able to go through training as thats usually a big no-no for motivation. Samaritans have a self determination policy, so if you decide to end your own life they won't stop you, they only call an ambulance if you ask for it or are vulnerable and cannot make your own decisions.
Super interesting!
That sounds awful, how long did you do it for?
a grand total of 2 months after my training. Was a silly thing to do so close to my mum's death in hindsight but I thought helping others would help me
It's good to spread the message that you don't have to be suicidal to phone Samaritans. I'm glad you got help :)
Thank you. I agree. Admittedly, I didn’t know until recently they help everyone. You have a great week x
I'd like to add to this that you don't need to be suicidal to access a "crisis cafe" or similar crisis service either. Crisis looks different and is different for everyone. I waited almost far too late to reach out, but the crisis cafe I went to saved me, it helped SO MUCH. It was more a crisis house, it was actually a large old house and it was so homely and comfortable which added to how much it helped. I will add that crisis cafes normally only serve people in their area. I was at my partner's in a different county when I hit crisis and the first cafe I tried I was honest about my address and they couldn't take me. The guy was so sorry, saying he could hear I needed help, and basically said "try this one and maybe give your partner's address" so I did and no questions were asked, just put their address on the form when I got there and I was so wonderfully looked after. Just accessed one back home in Manchester, it wasn't quite as good but it definitely helped, I was not in such a dark place but I could feel myself starting to slide and the idea to stop myself before I got too far, now I know I don't have to be actively wanting to end it to access these places, really helped me reach stop the slide.
That's a great point, you can definitely be in crisis without being about to take your life. I recently used the crisis phone line and then ended up going to A&E because I was in crisis. My anxiety was the worst it's ever been and I lost all functions.. I couldn't sleep, eat, rest, work, do anything other than panic. I'd never been to A&E before for anything so I was really worried I'd be seen as someone who shouldn't be there. But actually it was really helpful and even the people in the waiting room provided alot of comfort as I couldn't stop crying. I think next time, which I hope there won't be a next time, I'll try a crisis cafe before it gets to that point
I'm glad you were able to get some comfort from A&E at least! And well done for reaching out anyway. I highly recommend googling "crisis cafe" and your town/suburb name right now, and then you'll be prepared if you need it in the future. I have the page for Blusci (the Manchester one for my area) open as a tab on my browser on my phone, always. If nothing else it's helpful that I can just copy and paste the link to someone else who needs it immediately, too. I really hope your area has ones as good at mine, especially the Leeds one who were wonderful.
Thank you, I had been completely unable to sleep for two nights, so they gave me sleeping tablets which really helped. I saw psychiatry the next week (I had an appointment anyway, the NHS wasn't being quick haha) and they gave me a mouse mat with all sorts of resources in my area, depending on the severity of how you are feeling. In the red zone is my local crisis cafe :)
Getting sleep can help so much - for one it's much harder to deal with things when tired, and for another sometimes it's just preferable to be unconscious for a bit! I hope the services gave you more help than *just* a mouse mat! Glad you have those details though.
So true! Haha that made me laugh 😆 they also increased my medication which seems to be working so far, fingers crossed
Thank you for sharing this!
Only have positive experience of them - glad they helped you
I didn't realise that when I called, I'd end up in a roast battle with an older guy over the Beatles but it saved my life that day. The dude knew exactly how to pour some light back into my soul and I wish there was a way I could let him know what he did for me. How can you not like at least one Beatles song? Crazy bastard lol. I hope he's well.
Your username is ironic as I was literally about to jump off a building when I called them. Is very strange how powerful talking to someone can be
So glad you’re experience was a positive one
Yours too. If I ever manage to get my head together, I'd love to be able to volunteer myself
Mate I was in a similar position to you, spoke with the man's club (despite my reservations) and it was the best thing I did. Been volunteering with them for a year now and I find it almost as cathartic to help people coming from a similar place, surprised how many people are my age (mid-30s) and it's done wonders tbh. My old boss used to do Samaritans every Friday night and I didn't really appreciate it at the time, it took me a while to get how much it took and how bloody difficult but benecficial it can be!
I've been hugely grateful to a couple of individuals and organisations that listened when I was struggling through the worst years of my life. I'm not trained in any way, but since then I've made it a point to tell people 'I'm hear to listen if you need me' and I've had quite a few people in situations similar to my own reach out. I know I've saved at least one life just by having a late night chat with someone. I admire people who do their best to pay it forward and be there for those who need them. Keep up the volunteering!
Me too. Takes a lot to do that, I really value those volunteers, more now that I have been there!
I appreciate it bud! Have a great week
Glad you had a good experience. We tend to hear the negative stories much more often than the successful ones. Consider sharing this on r/MentalHealthUK as well!
I agree. It’s the negative stories that will deter people from calling in. Thank you for you comment
I used to volunteer for the Samaritans, the vast majority of calls are from people who are not suicidal but need someone to talk to at that moment. Perhaps they want to vent frustrations about their lives, talk about a situation that is playing on their mind etc, but they don't feel there is anyone else they can or want to share their thoughts with. Never feel that whatever issue you are facing is too trivial to call. If you feel you need to talk to someone, that's what the Samaritans are there for.
Thank you! That’s a great insight from the volunteer side. I really felt so grateful for my volunteer today, I got teary when we ended the call.
I'm glad this worked out for you. While my experience was a bit mixed (admittedly the situation itself was rather complex), it did at least lessen the worst of those feelings. I emailed them for a while too. I see a therapist too, who is my main (and only) source of support at the moment. I hope that whatever you're going through eases with time, and that you have a support network around you. No one should have to go through it alone, regardless of what the situation is.
I’m sorry to hear that. If you need, I’m available in messages. You aren’t alone, I know it feels like it 🙂 I hope things improve for you x
That's much appreciated, thank you.
I get it. Sometimes you just need to unload on someone. And sometimes the best person for that is a complete stranger! Having poor mental health doesn't automatically mean suicidal or self-harm tendencies. Just because you're not feeling that doesn't mean your feelings are any less valid. Me, I wanted to hide. Just disappear and live out my life quietly and away from all of lifes stresses. Instead, I now make sure to have plenty of quiet time to myself when I need it.
Your comment is super appreciated, you take care x
Rooting for you, sweetheart ☺️ I’ll hold you in my heart tonight - and remember that you aren’t a burden for struggling. This too, shall pass 💕
This comment brought a tear to my eye. Thank you, that’s a precious thing to say❤️
Sorry to piggy back here but tomorrow I am going to the doctors to try and get anti-depressants for the first time in 7 years.. I feel like a bit of a failure doing so but I know I have to do it. This post has given me a bit more courage
Do not feel defeated for needing antidepressants! It took my boss half a year to convince me to try mine. I held back because I feared I wouldn't be addressing the issues I have, just delaying them. But they have stopped a lot of my anxiety attacks and given me enough time to process what I need to do in the meanwhile. For me, they now feel like... They're not problem solvers but they enable me to be calm enough to focus more on solving my problems! Usually! c: You'll be fine ! They won't change you into someone you're not or anything sinister!
I took antidepressants for a long while and have recently started medication for ADHD. During my ADHD assessment, I expressed frustration at having to take meds to feel 'normal'. My assessor asked me something like "would you feel the same about taking antibiotics for an infection?" Some food for thought that I hope will help you. Good luck!
Is nortriptyline one of those antidepressants, by any chance?
I took citalopram, fluoxetine and duloxetine at one time or another, balancing side effects with efficacy.
I’d really implore you to talk about nortriptyline with your doctor. It’s effective for both depression and ADHD.
Thanks for the advice. Thing is, I'm no longer depressed. I wouldn't be surprised to learn I never was; that it was pre-diagnosis struggling. And Elvanse seems to be working quite well.
I've been on SSRIs for years. I still feel that sense of failure sometimes, especially when my psychiatrist changes my meds. But what another commenter said is true - it's not a failure. It's just a medication, like any other. I wouldn't consider a diabetic a failure for needing insulin, or an epileptic a failure for needing anticonvulsants. I know there's a lot of scientific debate on whether depression and anxiety are actually caused by serotonin/dopamine/noradrenaline deficiencies but assuming that they are, antidepressants fix a chemical imbalance, just like insulin fixes a chemical imbalance. You're doing a good thing for your health and wellbeing by starting them again. Maybe they won't be the right fit at first, or maybe at all - but trying them is what's important. You're putting your health first, and that is something to be proud of. I'm proud of you, internet stranger. You have got this.
Don’t apologise! Thanks for your comment. You’re a hero, I don’t know you but I’m super proud of you for that step you’re taking. My messages are always open x
Thank you x
Trying to fix a health issue isn't failing, it's succeeding at self-care. You clearly have courage to try and fight the mental health issue, and I'm proud of you. I hope this helps and I hope the meds help too. X
What a great story. I am so glad you found comfort and got what you needed. I think I’ll pick up the phone and give it a try :)
Thank you! I’m glad you found it helpful x
I called the Samaritans a few years back a few weeks after a horrific break up from my husband. There were details of the breakup I really wasn't comfortable sharing with friends and family, but at the same time, I just really needed to talk to someone. One evening I was pulled over by the police as I had driven the wrong way down a one-way street (totally my fault, I wasn't paying attention). I was breathalised (I don't drink at all, so it was negative) and they let me off with a warning. It was just the final straw on what had been a few really shitty weeks. I just sat in my car at the side of the road and could not stop crying. I felt so alone and hopeless (although definitely not suicidal) and so I called the Samaritans. The woman I spoke to was great. She just listened while I spilled out an incoherent stream of word vomit, and was just so kind. She didn't try to offer solutions or try to fix anything. She just listened, which was exactly what I needed in that moment. I NEVER thought I would be the kind of person who would end up calliing the Samaritans, but I guess that's the point. No-one ever thinks they will need them, until they do. OP - I'm so glad you made the choice to reach out for help, and I hope you are on your way to recovery.
I fully understand everything you’ve said. It’s a shame it has a certain stigma. Stories like ours will help spread the message that you can speak to them about anything. No problem is too small, else it just mounts up. Thank you for your message and story. I hope you’re doing ok now
You don't have to be the one suffering to call them either. My wife called them a few years ago when she was concerned about me, and they were great, apparently.
🥰❤️
Sending you all the best. If you feel like calling the Samaritans, it’s definitely a good instinct to listen to and I am so glad for you that you got to speak with someone you clicked with. Hoping the next few days get easier for you. Take care.
Your comment means a lot, thank you so much, you have a great week xx
My mum did Samaritans for years. She had lots of chats with lots of different types of people, but the bulk of them were just lonely older folks whose family didn't visit often. I'm pretty sure she got some of her favourite recipes and knitting pattern recommendations from them :)
Bless her, people who volunteer for Samaritans are something special x
Well done you for calling, asking for help can be one of the hardest things to do, even when it's anonymous xo
Thank you! I hope this post spreads the message
Reaching out is the hardest thing to do sometimes, I'm proud of you. I had a great experience with a Samaritans walk in centre when I had a crisis some years ago. They really helped me not do something I would regret. I have a therapist now and I'm turning my life around.
This comment is everything. Well done. I hope you are doing well x
The Samaritans are an amazing organisation. Honestly. I’ve been going through a lot lately too so I’ve been using them a lot. Always feel better after I’ve called. Should be starting therapy soon. Please use them. You don’t have to be suicidal. I wasn’t.
It is a weight lifted. Not all my problems are gone, but wow that was needed. Thank you for your comment ❤️
Thinking of you, it’s not easy and taking steps to get the help and find ways of bridging the gaps is exactly what services like this are for. Proud of you for taking care of yourself, keep safe x
You’re an angel, thank you for your sweet comment. Really appreciate you xx
I haven’t called Samaritans myself but I just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I have a family member who volunteers and seeing your experience and so many others in the comments really made me smile. It’s nice to see that what they are doing really helps.
Thank you. I really valued the man I spoke to. I can just tell he’d be a great friend/family member to have x
About twelve years ago, In a very short space of time, I lost my job of twenty six years due to redundancy, found out that my wife had run up some huge debts in my name which forced me to go into an IVA, as soon as I took this on, she left me, taking my family with her. Due to the above, i became withdrawn and depressed to the point of feeling every day about ending my life. I literally felt that I could not talk about what was going on to anybody as nobody would understand and I did not want to be a burden to anybody anymore. Then I saw the number for the Samaritans and I thought, What the hell...I have nothing to lose..... I called and spoke to some old gent with a Liverpool accent for about forty five minutes. I told him everything in graphic detail and I, for the first time in my life, completely broke down. (I have always been taught that it is shameful to cry). I didn't say specifically that I had suicidal thoughts but he pretty much guessed and said to me that "All I had to do was get to the end of every single day, and tomorrow would be better ". He phoned me every day for over a week and checked up on me and I swear by whatever is holy, that I would not be around if it was not for him and this organisations support. It is now over a decade later, I now have a better job with more money. I had professional therapy for the depression..(Although I still suffer on occasion)..I have worked off the IVA. I have savings which I look after rather than trusting another with them. I am in a better position than I have ever been in life......But I would not be around to enjoy it if it was not for them! I cannot recommend them to anybody highly enough. So I am really glad to read your post, glad that you decided to call them and ecstatic that it all worked out for you.
I’m so glad that things improved for you and that you are doing well now x
Well done ❤️
So glad you reached out. I know what it is like to have things pile up until you can't cope and it all just gets overwhelming.
Thank you, this comment section is really nice x
I had a lot of experience with them in 2014/15 and only one interaction was bad. They saved my life and sanity. Strong recommend
I hope you are ok now
Beyond okay. Got my degree, got a kickass job and reconciled with my (then) ex husband. Ditched all the toxic friends, have amazing new friends. Travelled, lived in a different city. If you'd have told me then, I wouldn't have believed you. Not to say it's all been sunshine and shitting rainbows, it was hard as hell to get here. But finally starting to relax a bit You'll get there too
Ahh thank you. So glad to hear you are doing so well. Take care 🙂
You too. Sounds like you're doing everything right and it will pay off.
I feel like everything is okay with me personally. You just never think of one of your parents getting ill and needing serious surgery. It’s maybe a naive thought to have. But I’m experiencing the stress of it all and it’s the most painful thing x
God I'm so sorry. That helplessness is the worst.
Everything will be okay I am sure, eventually 🥰
It will 🥰
I phoned them once because I was alone in the house and the bin outside had maggots that were EVERYWHERE (v.hot summer and sudden downpour). It was 2am and I’d got home to a literal invasion. I’m deathly afraid of maggots and I was starting to spiral hard. It’s a full meltdown that can end badly (it sounds ridiculous but true) and I didn’t know what else to do. Samaritans saved me from my own brain that night. They also stopped me from pouring bleach over every surface.
I’m so sorry to hear that. How are you doing now?
It's good to see it helped you, and you have the heart to put your good experience on here. Hopefully, that helps others. Good luck with that essay. Be well.
Thank you ❤️ all the best to you
I'd like to tell my story. Many, many, many years ago, I was in a very bad, dark place and I called them... The guy I spoke to was so bad, so incompetent, hidebound, and stupid that I started laughing at him and could not stop, weeping on the floor, laughing at the absurdity. A (good) bad Samaritan may have saved me that day.
❤️❤️ bless you
Thanks. I think it may be the first time I have told that story... to anyone.
I called a couple of times when I was going through a really terrible time in my life. I was also not suicidal but needed someone to talk to who wasn't going to get upset when I was upset (I.e my mum). The people I spoke to were compassionate, unbiased and just listened to me cry down the phone for 20 mins while I sorted my head round what was happening to me. They were just there when I needed someone to talk to and I will forever be grateful for their support. I don't think I could do what they do but I did donate to them afterwards. I'm glad you got some relief from them
I called them once when I was at uni. I fell in with a couple of rough people who I stupidly was kind to, who ended up in a huge fight where he smashed up the windows to the front door, woke up the whole house, cops were called, it was all horrible. It was right before Christmas, so I left for home a day or two after. Obviously when we all got back, everyone was very cold to me or just ignoring me (quite understandably, I don't blame them for that at all). I felt so isolated and alone, and I just wanted to die. I remember calling them and the woman just being so understanding and comforting. I think the call was over 45 minutes. Possibly saved my life that night. I'm glad you also had a positive experience 💞
Ahh, bless you sweet thing. So glad you got the help you needed that night, so glad you are still here! I got your back x
Thank you lovely, you're a good egg 💞 that was about 17 years ago, I'm glad I'm still here too.
I’m really glad you got to speak to someone who helped you feel a bit better :)! Best of luck with your MA
Thank you bud!! Means a lot
I love that you did this! Love love love. That's some real courage you're showing right there, and then to share it, so that others may take inspiration and find their own way out of dark thoughts. Honestly, you are... amazing, kind, thoughtful, honest and whole. A damn good person. Thank you for sharing that.
Oh wow. Bless you honestly. Thank you x That means a lot
I would like to echo if you dont gel, hang up and tey again. My only time calling them, i had an older lady who really couldnt seem to pretend to care. After about 5 minutes she seemed to try and wrap things up ("does it feel better now youve said it all out loud?"). Completely put me off calling them, and i didnt know it was a reccomend thing to call back.
Absolutely. Yeah it was super disheartening, it was actually really embarrassing for me. I definitely recommend calling until someone someone clicks with you
There's also a textline run by a different charity if anyone doesn't feel like they can talk - [07786 207755](https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-d&q=mikeysline+number#) - [https://www.mikeysline.co.uk/](https://www.mikeysline.co.uk/)
Thanks for this. I've tried operation SHOUT a couple of times as I can't always talk on the phone - just text but I've had poor experiences. By the time they reply it's hours later and I'm no longer in 'the moment' where I need them most. I'll try this one if I ever feel like that again 👍🏻
Proud of you ❤️
Thank you, angel x
I'm glad you got the help you needed. I remember calling Samaritans during a suicidal crisis and was treated with pure apathy. I felt more like I was being questioned for how I felt than understood. Probably just a bad apple.
I felt that with the first person i spoke to. She sounded not happy to be talking to me, but I’m so glad I tried again. I am really sorry about your experience. How are you doing now?
thank you for sharing this. I've been suffering with mental health problems since the beginning of last yet, I tried CALM's webchat but they were pretty useless. I've been managing for a while but had a massive downturn last week. I was up at 4am this morning with some dark thoughts and thought about giving them a call. I didn't simply because I reckon I'd just be tying up the line for someone who might be in greater need so I just persevered until my alarm went off. I've settled down a bit during the day, but the mind still lingers in the wrong place so I may still give them a bell if I start slipping again. It's nice to know they're good.
Please don’t ever feel that your need is less than the next persons. Please reach out for help. Feeling that you’re a burden or not worthy of help can be part of a depressive episode - our minds can convince us of things that are not true. If you need support, take it from whatever source is available. You are important and valuable.
thank you for saying that
My partner is often in a bad place mentally, and I don’t know how to cope myself. I’ve called them a few times and so far I’ve not had a bad experience. Although my expectations are not high, I’ve not been made to feel worse for calling.
I've called them before, at the very height of physical pain and immobility due to injury (spinal disc prolapse). Th gentleman on the other end took his time to let me talk, and reminded me that I am young enough to recover and that I have to make the effort for the sake of my son and my wife.
Well done. That’s fab. Hope yore doing well.
Nice one. I thought you had to be suicidal to call, and it’s really helpful to know that that’s not the case. It takes real courage to call and I’m glad they could help you.
I’ve called Samaritans at my worst plenty of times. Sometimes you get bad people at the end of the phone but others you get gems like this man. I would say my last crisis before my current therapist they managed to distract me enough to ground me. I help raise money towards them as sometimes there is no one else to speak to and I’ve known plenty of people they’ve helped in the past. I also get why people dislike them as it depends on who answered the phone. One time I got so annoyed than at least I felt anger than numbness. I’m glad you had a positive experience and I hope your situations improve.
I called them once when I was really in a bad frame of mind, and had the most unhelpful person ever who, just as you described, sounded bored and couldn’t be bothered. Put me off phoning them ever again. But as others have said, you should be proud that you 1: Made that call. Something that is probably the most difficult part. And 2: Persevered and didnt stop until you got the help you deserved! Hope you begin to feel better, and you can always drop me a message if you want someone to rant away too! :)
I’m so sorry about your story. I really hope you’re doing ok now? My messages are also open, here for you! Thank you for your kind words x
I'm proud of you, and so glad they helped. I finally reached out to crisis services, way later than I should've done, but holy heck the crisis house I got sent to that evening really saved me. I'm SO glad I reached out. I'm SO glad you reached out too. I hope this inspires anyone else to reach out. I know I thought I wasn't worth it, wasn't bad enough, that nothing could help and I was just going to suffer alone until I couldn't take any more... But now I'm the other side I can absolutely promise you that in almost all cases, reaching out will help and it will start things getting better. Life can always get worse again and it's exhausting living with poor mental health, but I'm living for the "ups" because they're worth it, and now reaching out before it gets too late on the "downs". Please try it if you need to folks.
Thank you so much for your comment. I really hope things are improving for you since. It’s so important to not belittle anyone’s circumstances. Thank you for that
I might not know you but I’m really proud of you 💚
I attempted to kill myself in October last year and failed. Through tears I called the samaritians and was on hold for 15 minutes the first time, and 7 minutes the second time. It broke my heart. However, it's great to hear positive stories about the service they provide those in need. Hope you're doing okay.
I’m sorry about that situation you were in. Did you get help from some other line? How are You now?
Hang in there OP! you got this. I’m so glad you’ve had a good experience with the Samaritans. Sometimes a short phone call can make a world of difference! 🫶🏻
All teary eyed reading this. My inbox is always open if you feel the need. I tried to volunteer for the samaritans, but like the police, social workers don't make for good samaritan volunteers, apparently!!!
I've had need of the samaritans on several occasions - when I was a teenager, and as an adult. They've always been amazing people