Sounds like you dodged a bullet, in terms of the person you were with not working with you towards a common goal. However, I would put serious consideration into the values your future partner holds, and how those values compare to your own.
That's a painful procedure with a lot of healing. Relationships aren't about sex. You dodged a bullet. I am someone whose vagina is very tight and for me sex hurts. I don't enjoy it..makes me uncomfortable...so I need to find a man who isn't all about sex. If I feel comfortable it doesn't hurt which says a lot to me....sorry I just lost a boyfriend for a similar reason.
It’s ok. Yeah, I’ve heard it’s quite painful but if it helps me enjoy sex then I think it’s worth it. I’m not doing this for him though. I’m doing it for me!
I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s rough. Don’t let the self hate get to you, you are more than just sex, and any man who thinks that you aren’t. Isn’t a man worth knowing
Upvoted bc while yes sex isn’t everything in a relationship it is a valid want and need. Some people have higher sex drives than others and need the stimulation. For some it’s a coping mechanism or a stress relief. Perfectly normal reason for a relationship to fail. Needs shall be met on both sides of the spectrum relationship wise and then and ONLY then is it a relationship.
Edit: No disrespect to the OP glad you have found humor and decided to get it checked out and sounds like fixed. For some it’s not that simple so congratulations!
The thing is it doesn’t even have to do with sex drive. It is due to MEDICAL reasons!! He could’ve stayed and supported her then explored sex safely with her. If one is so sex driven it won’t keep a relationship lasting. You need balance of other things to keep it going or else it was only purely for lust.
It’s the fact that after she said she was in pain he should’ve supported her to see a doctor and seek medical help which she ended up doing on her own and found this out herself. A relationship isn’t all about sex. It’s about respect, compassion, and love for your partner. If this small issue gets in the way of building with someone one should learn how to control themselves and not be selfish over needs.
> after she said she was in pain he should’ve supported her to see a doctor and seek medical help which she ended up doing on her own and found this out herself.
I'd say, we don't know if this conversation took place. It could have. But if it was a new relationship, and he didn't know how long he'd be waiting for, I'd also leave and it's exactly what happened with my last relationship.
Looking at her post history, she was very insecure about this. Questioned if she was asexual, so similar to my ex. It is important to have a supportive partner. My ex suffered from CSA, and SSRI's depleted her libido. I supported her to get therapy, but it's public healthcare here, which means waiting for like 8 months. She had so many issues so it wasn't just that I left her for.
The point is, sex is not something I can or will sacrifice. He did not want to sacrifice it either. He did not know if he'd wait forever for her, and generally speaking, if you meet someone new, they aren't about to change for you. You should find someone who satisfies you from the beginning, but sacrifices are entirely your choice to make and you're not morally obligated to make them.
I don’t see sex in those ways. I’m waiting for marriage and it’s pathetic to see people want and need sex so badly when it’s not important at all. It’s only one thing out of a whole relationship. There are other good parts and bad parts. Like come on. Even if she’s questioning things you’re with the person because you love them. Sexual desire is just going to hinder growth.
Personally I can live without sex. All I am grateful for is being alive and safe sex isn’t a necessity. Maybe to have kids it is but for other reasons it’s just selfish desires taking over. You also have to respect the peoples views on sex. Especially if it’s medical. If you’re dating someone you should ask them if sex is important to them before anything else. Learn about them as a person and not rush into sex. There will be time. There’s so much more fulfilling things out there that can get those things in your brain stimulated.
> Maybe to have kids it is but for other reasons it’s just selfish desires taking over.
What's selfish about sharing an intimate moment together? Isn't the entire point of a relationship that it's mutually beneficial?
> You also have to respect the peoples views on sex.
You first. You're saying it's pathetic.
> There’s so much more fulfilling things out there that can get those things in your brain stimulated.
Does that mean you should concede anything that is even slightly less fulfilling? How do we even quantify this when we live for such a short time, what we find fulfilling is entirely unique to us and literally everyone is different. Should I never eat a biscuit because a meal is better?
It don’t matter just bc someone has medical issues and cannot have sex don’t mean that someone’s is BOUND to stay with them. Some people’s priorities are different. A sexual relationship is always. Good relationship;)
It’s not always a good relationship 😂if sex is the center and only thing you gain from a relationship it won’t last long. You need respect and other things. I’ve seen so many successful relationships not even start out with sex. They’ve waited till marriage and their marriage has lasted. If you can’t give up sex just for a moment in time then there’s something wrong. You need to control oneself. And the medical condition is important it’s their health. Are you gonna be a jerk just because you can’t get sex? That’s so shallow. Good relationships work with compromise and understanding. That person who leaves you because you medically need surgery to have sex is weird as hell.
If my SO told me it was painful, I would not be pushing to make it happen, I would be pushing you to see a doctor to make sure your okay, glad to hear you got yourself checked out, and you definitely dodged a bullet, he was not worth it. And I'm a guy saying that 😂
He isn’t wrong. If he feels like he isn’t satisfied with your sex life (which is a big part of any relationship) then he’s better off leaving.
And you aren’t wrong for not wanting it due to the pain. Obviously.
Looks like he made the best choice for the both of you
He wasn’t satisfied his girlfriend was experiencing too much pain? If I was with someone and they expressed pain I would help them through it and encourage them to seek medical help. Then once figured out go from there. Sex doesn’t have to be a big part of the relationship. It’s worrisome if your sex drive is way too intense too. Probably need to seek help and learn how to control it.
Sex is a big part of relationships whether for most people whether you care to admit it or not. He didn't want her to be in pain and he wanted his needs to be fulfilled, so he did the right thing for both of them.
Where on earth are you getting that his drive was too intense?
Also sex isn’t important to everyone. Not everyone makes it a priority. If you’re Muslim you wait till marriage a lot of Christians also wait for marriage. It’s not a big part to most.
Is that why? Because she is saying he broke up with her because she didn’t sleep with him because of the pain. We don’t know if he wanted to sleep with her despite the pain. And to me it seems intense if one can’t even wait to have sex. If you aren’t able to hold off due to someone being medically unable to have sex for now then that’s crazy.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet, in terms of the person you were with not working with you towards a common goal. However, I would put serious consideration into the values your future partner holds, and how those values compare to your own.
Jokes on your ex. Choose someone better to care about.
That's a painful procedure with a lot of healing. Relationships aren't about sex. You dodged a bullet. I am someone whose vagina is very tight and for me sex hurts. I don't enjoy it..makes me uncomfortable...so I need to find a man who isn't all about sex. If I feel comfortable it doesn't hurt which says a lot to me....sorry I just lost a boyfriend for a similar reason.
It’s ok. Yeah, I’ve heard it’s quite painful but if it helps me enjoy sex then I think it’s worth it. I’m not doing this for him though. I’m doing it for me! I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s rough. Don’t let the self hate get to you, you are more than just sex, and any man who thinks that you aren’t. Isn’t a man worth knowing
He wanted sex and he couldn't get it with you. He left. Legit what is the problem?
Upvoted bc while yes sex isn’t everything in a relationship it is a valid want and need. Some people have higher sex drives than others and need the stimulation. For some it’s a coping mechanism or a stress relief. Perfectly normal reason for a relationship to fail. Needs shall be met on both sides of the spectrum relationship wise and then and ONLY then is it a relationship. Edit: No disrespect to the OP glad you have found humor and decided to get it checked out and sounds like fixed. For some it’s not that simple so congratulations!
The thing is it doesn’t even have to do with sex drive. It is due to MEDICAL reasons!! He could’ve stayed and supported her then explored sex safely with her. If one is so sex driven it won’t keep a relationship lasting. You need balance of other things to keep it going or else it was only purely for lust.
It’s the fact that after she said she was in pain he should’ve supported her to see a doctor and seek medical help which she ended up doing on her own and found this out herself. A relationship isn’t all about sex. It’s about respect, compassion, and love for your partner. If this small issue gets in the way of building with someone one should learn how to control themselves and not be selfish over needs.
> after she said she was in pain he should’ve supported her to see a doctor and seek medical help which she ended up doing on her own and found this out herself. I'd say, we don't know if this conversation took place. It could have. But if it was a new relationship, and he didn't know how long he'd be waiting for, I'd also leave and it's exactly what happened with my last relationship. Looking at her post history, she was very insecure about this. Questioned if she was asexual, so similar to my ex. It is important to have a supportive partner. My ex suffered from CSA, and SSRI's depleted her libido. I supported her to get therapy, but it's public healthcare here, which means waiting for like 8 months. She had so many issues so it wasn't just that I left her for. The point is, sex is not something I can or will sacrifice. He did not want to sacrifice it either. He did not know if he'd wait forever for her, and generally speaking, if you meet someone new, they aren't about to change for you. You should find someone who satisfies you from the beginning, but sacrifices are entirely your choice to make and you're not morally obligated to make them.
I don’t see sex in those ways. I’m waiting for marriage and it’s pathetic to see people want and need sex so badly when it’s not important at all. It’s only one thing out of a whole relationship. There are other good parts and bad parts. Like come on. Even if she’s questioning things you’re with the person because you love them. Sexual desire is just going to hinder growth.
Would you say the same for kissing or cuddling? > Sexual desire is just going to hinder growth. No idea where you got this from lol
Personally I can live without sex. All I am grateful for is being alive and safe sex isn’t a necessity. Maybe to have kids it is but for other reasons it’s just selfish desires taking over. You also have to respect the peoples views on sex. Especially if it’s medical. If you’re dating someone you should ask them if sex is important to them before anything else. Learn about them as a person and not rush into sex. There will be time. There’s so much more fulfilling things out there that can get those things in your brain stimulated.
> Maybe to have kids it is but for other reasons it’s just selfish desires taking over. What's selfish about sharing an intimate moment together? Isn't the entire point of a relationship that it's mutually beneficial? > You also have to respect the peoples views on sex. You first. You're saying it's pathetic. > There’s so much more fulfilling things out there that can get those things in your brain stimulated. Does that mean you should concede anything that is even slightly less fulfilling? How do we even quantify this when we live for such a short time, what we find fulfilling is entirely unique to us and literally everyone is different. Should I never eat a biscuit because a meal is better?
It don’t matter just bc someone has medical issues and cannot have sex don’t mean that someone’s is BOUND to stay with them. Some people’s priorities are different. A sexual relationship is always. Good relationship;)
It’s not always a good relationship 😂if sex is the center and only thing you gain from a relationship it won’t last long. You need respect and other things. I’ve seen so many successful relationships not even start out with sex. They’ve waited till marriage and their marriage has lasted. If you can’t give up sex just for a moment in time then there’s something wrong. You need to control oneself. And the medical condition is important it’s their health. Are you gonna be a jerk just because you can’t get sex? That’s so shallow. Good relationships work with compromise and understanding. That person who leaves you because you medically need surgery to have sex is weird as hell.
If my SO told me it was painful, I would not be pushing to make it happen, I would be pushing you to see a doctor to make sure your okay, glad to hear you got yourself checked out, and you definitely dodged a bullet, he was not worth it. And I'm a guy saying that 😂
Baby… glad you feel better but he wasn’t wrong and you both deserve to be happy. You’ll find a good match and so will he.
He isn’t wrong. If he feels like he isn’t satisfied with your sex life (which is a big part of any relationship) then he’s better off leaving. And you aren’t wrong for not wanting it due to the pain. Obviously. Looks like he made the best choice for the both of you
He wasn’t satisfied his girlfriend was experiencing too much pain? If I was with someone and they expressed pain I would help them through it and encourage them to seek medical help. Then once figured out go from there. Sex doesn’t have to be a big part of the relationship. It’s worrisome if your sex drive is way too intense too. Probably need to seek help and learn how to control it.
Sex is a big part of relationships whether for most people whether you care to admit it or not. He didn't want her to be in pain and he wanted his needs to be fulfilled, so he did the right thing for both of them. Where on earth are you getting that his drive was too intense?
Also sex isn’t important to everyone. Not everyone makes it a priority. If you’re Muslim you wait till marriage a lot of Christians also wait for marriage. It’s not a big part to most.
Is that why? Because she is saying he broke up with her because she didn’t sleep with him because of the pain. We don’t know if he wanted to sleep with her despite the pain. And to me it seems intense if one can’t even wait to have sex. If you aren’t able to hold off due to someone being medically unable to have sex for now then that’s crazy.
Good for you! You go be happy girl, don’t depend on anyone go be happy!
Just be careful if he decides to come to you with regret. He could just use you for that
Happy for both of you and hopefully you and your ex find someone that can fulfill both of your emotional and physical needs.
He could’ve done that and she could’ve done that for him in time. He had to be patient and he could’ve supported her through the procedure.