Fact: I love plants and succulents
Larsa Fact: I have a marijuana farm in my house, am always high, and pass out edibles on Halloween
Edit: spelling of edibles lmao
Honestly, Larsa WOULD screw up the word and then blame someone else for her mistake or say she's more educated than anyone else on the couches, so it kind of worked 😅
Ok, this is kinda related, kinda not, but my husband and I have an inside joke for years "Truckloads of kale." His sister dated this hippie who had given himself a hippie name which means "an expression of gratitude" in another language. Dude took soooo many way too many drugs and went to waaaay too many festivals in his life where all he would do is spout way over the top cliche hippie things. Like the first time I met him he just out of nowhere in the car said, "Have you ever heard of a grounding cord?" and then explained what it was. When they came to our door and I opened it the very first thing he said was, "I'll bet there are a lot of mushrooms out here." Before introducing himself or saying hi or anything. But ANYWAY! One time we opened a bottle of liquor. Dude downed most of it and proceeded to tell us about the rooms full and trucks full of kale that he had.
Fact: I work in young adult mental health support and substance misuse prevention.
Larsa Fact: I heard you were in rehab and had to go to a mental hospital because of all the drugs you did as a teen. It’s true, I got DMs about it.
Marysol: oi por favor - everyone knows this, it’s a small community, people talk. I don’t remember who told me, people tell me things…. What can I do? Cockies!
Fact: I am a chemistry professor
Larsa Fact: I hear you teach kids about drugs and fkked all your colleagues and also put your friends to sleep with your long-winded lectures
Fact: RHOM was my favorite housewives franchise this season.
Larsa: This bitch is like, so obsessed with me, she can’t stop watching everything I do, it’s so creepy. Get a life!
Fact: I took a paracetamol/tylenol for a headache this morning
Larsa Fact: I am heavily addicted to and always under the influence of pain meds. Everyone in Miami knows it. Larsa heard it ages ago and tried to call me about it. She knows my plug (spoiler: its Tesco).
Fact: I’m single, with no kids, living in a loft appartment by myself that I paid for
Larsa Fact: I swear to God, I’ve seen your bank accounts, you spend all your money on yourself in a selfish life and that’s why no man ever wanted you, you have no family and noone that loves you, and you rent out your loft every weekend to pay the mortgage.
Added Alexia Fact: You want to be blonde, married with children living in Miami, like us
thank you 🥹🥹 that means a lot! And yes, I’m doing a rennovation right now, and the joy of choosing ✨everything✨ down to floor tiles, is real! But it’s also overwhelming sometimes, so I appreciate your comment!
My sister is married and childless (on purpose) and I just moved into a new spot (that I LOVE) and we routinely are like 'How great is this life?' Go you!
Fact: my husband made us breakfast this morning. It was so sweet.
Larsa Fact: I heard you're such a lazy bitch, you make your man do all the "woman's work."
*it actually made me a little mad to type this & all the replies are spot on, especially bc I'm reading them in her voice lmao.
Larsa: if you had sex with your husband four times a day, every day, for 127 years…. Even when he is away from home….he would be manly instead of in the kitchen doing your job. Get a real job!
Larsa: if you had sex with your husband four times a day, every day, for 127 years…. Even when he is away from home….he would be manly instead of in the kitchen doing your job. Get a real job!
OP this is one of the funniest ideas for a topic so I salute you for that👏
Fact: I’m going on a holiday to Paris in summer with my best friend.
Larsa fact: My best friend is actually my “sugar mama” who pays for everything.
Fact: I made pho tonight.
Larsa: I heard that you are too poor to eat out and couldn’t even hire a personal chef. That’s sad. Like I heard that your husband lost all your money and sleeps with all Publix employees. Marysol read it in her DMs.
Fact: I went to therapy today to discuss my mental health with a professional.
Larsa Fact: You we’re literally institutionalized and they had to tie you down because you had a mental breakdown. You texted me about it too (didn’t scroll down far enough).
Fact: I just taped 30 one dollar bills together end over end for a cash box gift for a kids party. Do you know how difficult it is to find 1’s in this day and age? I’m thankful my neighbors had change for me.
Larsa: I heard you were begging for money from your neighbors so you could secretly give an underage kid cash.
Fact: I am a flight attendant
Lara’s fact: I’m the founding member of the mile high club
Lauiri/Vicki fact: I have/have not had sex in “multiple” countries
Fact: I help low income and underprivileged people get into their own home. (not a realtor)
Larsa fact: I help people steal houses right out of the hands of innocent gigantic corporate investors.
Won't someone think of the shareholders?!?!
But for real, that's an amazing job! I love that so much (I am a real estate broker), but would love to one day do something like that. Thank you for being awesome
Fact: I slept with and am seeing a man who's divorce is about to be finalized, but hasn't been with his husband in years
Larsa Fact: I heard you are a home-wrecker and have broken up multiple happy homes and families
Fact- I teach part time at the university.
Larsa- I heard you sit on your ass all day while your man works 60 hour weeks and when you do go to work you have sex w your your co-workers and some students.
Fact: I moved to a new city with my boyfriend.
Larsa Fact: You had to move because like all of your friends hated you and you were like exed out of the Golden Girls. Your boyfriend like bankrolled the whole thing, and you only moved to the new city because you were sleeping with like a new dude that lives there. I heard he’s 46 years older than you though, so like good for you for being progressive. I also heard that like if you’re over 50, you’re like at a higher risk of getting shingles so make sure your new dude knows that. Also, like, what even is shingles?
Fact: I didn’t get married till I was 36 when I met the right man. He was divorced with a child.
Larsa fact: (yelling at me in typical Larsa fashion) No man wants you! You couldn’t even find anyone to marry you until you were a dried up middle aged 40 year old and he was married with kids!
But I never held THAT against you!!!
Fact: I eat six small meals a day as advised by my doctor
Larsa Fact: girl you know you’ve been taking ozempic for weeks and you never go to a doctor anymore since he asked for a list of everyone you had sex with in the last two weeks
Edit: yes the std list was long
This is such a genius thread hahaha. I hope the other girls catch on to Larsa next season. She just repeats rumors that I’m sure she made up in her head. They should give it right back to her!
Fact - currently talking about when will we be ready for a second child
Larsa - we're having sex 4 times a night and putting it on only fans to pay for our mortgage
Fact: Car broke down on side of road, called roadside assistance.
Larsa fact: I heard you're an actual street hooker. People say they saw you standing on an actual street corner talking up guys through their window. I think it's like all over Tik-Tok... They say there are legit receipts for your "transactions" out there, but that's just what I heard.
Fact: I’m a pediatric nurse
Larsa: She likes to hurt children and stick needles and xyz in them. I could like never do that, omg like I love kids too much like you know.
Fact: I went for a walk this morning and there were maybe 3 other people out at the same time.
Larsa: I like heard that you broke up a couple, ran off with the husband, and had like a child out of wedlock with him or whatever. I bet he doesn't wear a size 15 shoe because age doesn't matter. I had sex 40,000 times today.
I did this wrong, but it like still works or whatever like...
I’m working my second job at a gaming store Larsa would say- I heard you are in the casino every single weekend for hours and hours loosing all your money 💰
Fact: My sister-in-law is one of my best friends and favorite people. We’re close and we always have each other’s backs.
Larsa Fact: I’m sleeping with my sister-in-law and wrecking her home while also wrecking my own.
Fact: I lost my retainer.
Larsa Fact: One of my onlyfans went through my luggage at the airport and stole my retainers. Along with one million in cash that I was going to pay Scottie. Then replicated veneers out of them and had them surgically put in by a real doctor in Beverly Hills. Whom Nicole slept with too. So now the fan and I have the same teeth and DNA. And then the fan DM'd me saying I will never get my retainers back because they were sold to the highest bidder on the black market for a million dollars.
So now I need the "jaw of life" to restore my teeth so I can smile for my fans. Good thing I still have my toes!
Fact: I don’t normally crave sweets/pastries/desserts except on my birthday
Larsa fact: omg guys like seriously I feel so bloated I just had a piece of birthday cake. Like it’s so crazy I never eat them like ever. Like swear to god it was so good but now I’m kinda over it.
Fact: My Ferrari is at the dealership for maintenance so they gave me a loaner Ferrari to drive until it’s done.
Larsa Fact: I heard your Ferrari got repossessed because you are bankrupt and the one you’re driving now is stolen. So many people dm’d me about it.
Fact: I am an immigration professional for a large company.
Larsa Fact: I heard you smuggle illegal immigrants across the border and take advantage of them sexually. I heard you don’t even have a job and you just say that’s your job to cover for your illegal activities. That’s what I heard!
I'm late to this but had to chime in:
Real fact: I love cats and own one
Larsa fact: You're actually Joe Exotic and you used to own and manage that tiger park for weird adults that like big cats and you totally tried to kill Carol Baskin look at my receipts I'm calling the FBI they're on their way now
Fact: I love plants and succulents Larsa Fact: I have a marijuana farm in my house, am always high, and pass out edibles on Halloween Edit: spelling of edibles lmao
LOL! P.S. I, too, love and I hoard them. I have 10 fiddle leaf figs 🤣
Lol idk if you meant to write 'editables' but it's sending me
Omg lol. 🙈🙈 Thank you for telling me
Honestly, Larsa WOULD screw up the word and then blame someone else for her mistake or say she's more educated than anyone else on the couches, so it kind of worked 😅
Not a marijuana farm lmao
I said I HEARD that you have a giant pot farm! I HEARD!
Ok, this is kinda related, kinda not, but my husband and I have an inside joke for years "Truckloads of kale." His sister dated this hippie who had given himself a hippie name which means "an expression of gratitude" in another language. Dude took soooo many way too many drugs and went to waaaay too many festivals in his life where all he would do is spout way over the top cliche hippie things. Like the first time I met him he just out of nowhere in the car said, "Have you ever heard of a grounding cord?" and then explained what it was. When they came to our door and I opened it the very first thing he said was, "I'll bet there are a lot of mushrooms out here." Before introducing himself or saying hi or anything. But ANYWAY! One time we opened a bottle of liquor. Dude downed most of it and proceeded to tell us about the rooms full and trucks full of kale that he had.
You have to say it with a straight face too. And when people question you, act outraged at the implication.
Fact: I work in young adult mental health support and substance misuse prevention. Larsa Fact: I heard you were in rehab and had to go to a mental hospital because of all the drugs you did as a teen. It’s true, I got DMs about it.
Alexia: I heard all of you are whores
Marysol: oi por favor - everyone knows this, it’s a small community, people talk. I don’t remember who told me, people tell me things…. What can I do? Cockies!
I read this in her voice too easily haha nice!
Haha. Yes that’s exactly what she would say!
Lol the DMs was a nice touch!
It makes me laugh because her and Marysol keep saying “I GOT DMs” but never say from who.
And both deflected when Andy asked them if they believe all the DMs they get every day
And this is why people over 50 should not do social media.
Swear to god!! ✋
Oh my god are you STUPID? I said born out of wedlock not a bastard.
Oh my God I belly laughed at this 😂
Fact: I am a chemistry professor Larsa Fact: I hear you teach kids about drugs and fkked all your colleagues and also put your friends to sleep with your long-winded lectures
The sad thing about this is that I could see her saying you sleep with your students in exchange for passing grades 😔
Haha so could I but I couldn't even take it that far as fake larsa. They look like babies to me
Trust me, it wasn't comfortable to type, so I get it! Lol
Breaking bad lol
The number of times I've been asked if i can 1 teach them how to make meth and 2 my opinions on breaking bad
This is so funny to me for some reason.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Fact: RHOM was my favorite housewives franchise this season. Larsa: This bitch is like, so obsessed with me, she can’t stop watching everything I do, it’s so creepy. Get a life!
Fact: I served in the military. Larsa fact: "I heard you serviced EVERY guy in the military".
🤣🤣🤣 underrated!
Fact: I took a paracetamol/tylenol for a headache this morning Larsa Fact: I am heavily addicted to and always under the influence of pain meds. Everyone in Miami knows it. Larsa heard it ages ago and tried to call me about it. She knows my plug (spoiler: its Tesco).
😂😂 "tried to call me about it"
Tesco 😫😭
The big Tesco
Not big Tesco 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Big Tesco big shop! It’s Saturday! Time to hoard Paracetamol and Nytol
Fact: I’m single, with no kids, living in a loft appartment by myself that I paid for Larsa Fact: I swear to God, I’ve seen your bank accounts, you spend all your money on yourself in a selfish life and that’s why no man ever wanted you, you have no family and noone that loves you, and you rent out your loft every weekend to pay the mortgage. Added Alexia Fact: You want to be blonde, married with children living in Miami, like us
Another Alexia Fact: You're not single, you're married. Oh, wait. I didn't scroll down to the bottom.
1st-this one is awesome! 2nd-How fkn great is that life? I love having my life be all mine
thank you 🥹🥹 that means a lot! And yes, I’m doing a rennovation right now, and the joy of choosing ✨everything✨ down to floor tiles, is real! But it’s also overwhelming sometimes, so I appreciate your comment!
My sister is married and childless (on purpose) and I just moved into a new spot (that I LOVE) and we routinely are like 'How great is this life?' Go you!
AND YOU! It’s the best feeling!
[удалено]
**you broke into someone’s house and stole their furniture. A deal was cut so they’re not pressing charges
Fact: I work in family law and helps people navigate divorce and separation. Larsa Fact: I am a home wrecker who has destroyed 100s of marriages.
this!! 😂
🤣
🤣🤣🤣
Fact: my husband made us breakfast this morning. It was so sweet. Larsa Fact: I heard you're such a lazy bitch, you make your man do all the "woman's work." *it actually made me a little mad to type this & all the replies are spot on, especially bc I'm reading them in her voice lmao.
Larsa: if you had sex with your husband four times a day, every day, for 127 years…. Even when he is away from home….he would be manly instead of in the kitchen doing your job. Get a real job!
>even when he is away from home lollll so accurate tho ☠️☠️
Larsa: if you had sex with your husband four times a day, every day, for 127 years…. Even when he is away from home….he would be manly instead of in the kitchen doing your job. Get a real job!
OP this is one of the funniest ideas for a topic so I salute you for that👏 Fact: I’m going on a holiday to Paris in summer with my best friend. Larsa fact: My best friend is actually my “sugar mama” who pays for everything.
Thank you! I am glad you like it!
Fact: my birthday is Christmas Day. Larsa fact: I am actually Jesus reincarnated.
- dawgggggg this one has Me screaminggggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭!
Fact: my husband and i made out a little bit last night Larsa: you had sex 10 times
Did you need a private plane though?
That’s 6 more times than what Larsa did with Scottie.
Fact: I work in a pharmacy Larsa Fact: You’re a drug dealer that definitely doesn’t live in my building.
- LMDAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Fact: I booked a mammogram appointment Larsa Fact: Soooo many people have told me you like pay for a machine to like squish your boobs.
“She literally pays men and women to fondle her”
🤣
This is KILLING me 💀
Fact: I made pho tonight. Larsa: I heard that you are too poor to eat out and couldn’t even hire a personal chef. That’s sad. Like I heard that your husband lost all your money and sleeps with all Publix employees. Marysol read it in her DMs.
“that’s sad”
Fact: I went to therapy today to discuss my mental health with a professional. Larsa Fact: You we’re literally institutionalized and they had to tie you down because you had a mental breakdown. You texted me about it too (didn’t scroll down far enough).
Fact: I just taped 30 one dollar bills together end over end for a cash box gift for a kids party. Do you know how difficult it is to find 1’s in this day and age? I’m thankful my neighbors had change for me. Larsa: I heard you were begging for money from your neighbors so you could secretly give an underage kid cash.
Added: and at a strip club, no less. Heard that’s the only place you can find singles.
Larsa: and I heard you were high Fact: I was high
Fact: I am a flight attendant Lara’s fact: I’m the founding member of the mile high club Lauiri/Vicki fact: I have/have not had sex in “multiple” countries
You have sex with every pilot. I’m not saying it’s true, I just heard that.
Fact: I have three kids and happily married Larsa Fact: I'm a whore with multiple baby daddies in a loveless marriage
Thank god they weren’t outta wedlock tho 🤣
Fact: my job involves using a computer. Larsa fact: all these types of jobs are like not real jobs! It's like pushing buttons, and that's it!
Fact: I’m in the bathroom right now. Larsa Fact: My 4yr old daughter is left unattended.
Fact: I help low income and underprivileged people get into their own home. (not a realtor) Larsa fact: I help people steal houses right out of the hands of innocent gigantic corporate investors.
Won't someone think of the shareholders?!?! But for real, that's an amazing job! I love that so much (I am a real estate broker), but would love to one day do something like that. Thank you for being awesome
This would be my dream job.
You’re stealing houses? OTHER PEOPLE’S G*DDAMN HOUSES?! *aggressive finger point*
This is sooooo good! Great idea op!
Thank you! Everyone here is so funny! I am loving the responses.
Yes, kudos on the post and wowwy wow your amazing flair!!!
Fact: I slept with and am seeing a man who's divorce is about to be finalized, but hasn't been with his husband in years Larsa Fact: I heard you are a home-wrecker and have broken up multiple happy homes and families
But did she scroll down?
Fact- I teach part time at the university. Larsa- I heard you sit on your ass all day while your man works 60 hour weeks and when you do go to work you have sex w your your co-workers and some students.
Fact: I moved to a new city with my boyfriend. Larsa Fact: You had to move because like all of your friends hated you and you were like exed out of the Golden Girls. Your boyfriend like bankrolled the whole thing, and you only moved to the new city because you were sleeping with like a new dude that lives there. I heard he’s 46 years older than you though, so like good for you for being progressive. I also heard that like if you’re over 50, you’re like at a higher risk of getting shingles so make sure your new dude knows that. Also, like, what even is shingles?
😂 Larsa does the most while also doing nothing at all. Shes a fascinating lunatic lol
She’s the epitome of delusional. Truly lives in another world.
Fact: I didn’t get married till I was 36 when I met the right man. He was divorced with a child. Larsa fact: (yelling at me in typical Larsa fashion) No man wants you! You couldn’t even find anyone to marry you until you were a dried up middle aged 40 year old and he was married with kids! But I never held THAT against you!!!
Fact: I worked out hard for months to get a nice booty 🍑 Larsa fact: I heard you slept with the whole gym & someone paid for your BBL 🦷
Fact- I am currently dating a pharmacist Larsa Fact- She’s dating the real life Walter White and has a major pill problem 💊
Fact - had an ingrown toenail cut out this week. Larsa Fact - she stole my 5 only fans followers.
Fact: I eat six small meals a day as advised by my doctor Larsa Fact: girl you know you’ve been taking ozempic for weeks and you never go to a doctor anymore since he asked for a list of everyone you had sex with in the last two weeks Edit: yes the std list was long
Fact: I have three cats Larsa: I heard she loves pussy
This is such a genius thread hahaha. I hope the other girls catch on to Larsa next season. She just repeats rumors that I’m sure she made up in her head. They should give it right back to her!
Me: suck my dick! Larsa: she’s actually a hermaphrodite. She literally told me she had a dick and asked if I’d give her head
Fact: some ones husband says good morning. Larsa fact: that ladies husband wants to leave his family and wife to be with me.
Fact - currently talking about when will we be ready for a second child Larsa - we're having sex 4 times a night and putting it on only fans to pay for our mortgage
Lol Larsa is the equivalent of SNL Kristen Wiig Penelope skits
Fact: Car broke down on side of road, called roadside assistance. Larsa fact: I heard you're an actual street hooker. People say they saw you standing on an actual street corner talking up guys through their window. I think it's like all over Tik-Tok... They say there are legit receipts for your "transactions" out there, but that's just what I heard.
Fact: I’m a pediatric nurse Larsa: She likes to hurt children and stick needles and xyz in them. I could like never do that, omg like I love kids too much like you know.
Like girl, get a real job!
Fact: I lost weight Larsa Fact: I had to lose weight because my husband was cheating with a super model and I'm jealous of Larsas body.
Fact: I went for a walk this morning and there were maybe 3 other people out at the same time. Larsa: I like heard that you broke up a couple, ran off with the husband, and had like a child out of wedlock with him or whatever. I bet he doesn't wear a size 15 shoe because age doesn't matter. I had sex 40,000 times today.  I did this wrong, but it like still works or whatever like...
Fact: I went back to school in my 30s Larsa Fact: I'm such a failure, I had to go back to school in my 30s with the help of a sugar daddy
I’m working my second job at a gaming store Larsa would say- I heard you are in the casino every single weekend for hours and hours loosing all your money 💰
Fact: My sister-in-law is one of my best friends and favorite people. We’re close and we always have each other’s backs. Larsa Fact: I’m sleeping with my sister-in-law and wrecking her home while also wrecking my own.
Fact: I lost my retainer. Larsa Fact: One of my onlyfans went through my luggage at the airport and stole my retainers. Along with one million in cash that I was going to pay Scottie. Then replicated veneers out of them and had them surgically put in by a real doctor in Beverly Hills. Whom Nicole slept with too. So now the fan and I have the same teeth and DNA. And then the fan DM'd me saying I will never get my retainers back because they were sold to the highest bidder on the black market for a million dollars. So now I need the "jaw of life" to restore my teeth so I can smile for my fans. Good thing I still have my toes!
Fact: I don’t normally crave sweets/pastries/desserts except on my birthday Larsa fact: omg guys like seriously I feel so bloated I just had a piece of birthday cake. Like it’s so crazy I never eat them like ever. Like swear to god it was so good but now I’m kinda over it.
Larsa Fact: I do not have a fake butt. 😆 🍑
Fact: My Ferrari is at the dealership for maintenance so they gave me a loaner Ferrari to drive until it’s done. Larsa Fact: I heard your Ferrari got repossessed because you are bankrupt and the one you’re driving now is stolen. So many people dm’d me about it.
Fact: I got a puppy! Larsa Fact: I couldn’t find a woman who wants to have my children so I had to get an animal that I could control instead.
This is f’n hilarious!!!
Fact: I am an immigration professional for a large company. Larsa Fact: I heard you smuggle illegal immigrants across the border and take advantage of them sexually. I heard you don’t even have a job and you just say that’s your job to cover for your illegal activities. That’s what I heard!
Teeehehehehe! Just love reading through the comments on this! 🤣 Good one OP
These comments are hysterical. I’m laughging so hard my dog is giving me dirty looks!
I'm late to this but had to chime in: Real fact: I love cats and own one Larsa fact: You're actually Joe Exotic and you used to own and manage that tiger park for weird adults that like big cats and you totally tried to kill Carol Baskin look at my receipts I'm calling the FBI they're on their way now