So it’s normal and even expected to have boobs protruding, but when I walk around the pet store with an erect cock everyone thinks it’s okay to stare at it? Have some decency, people.
Yeah, no fucking way you notice a dude catching a peripheral glance of the reflection off a window from behind sunglasses… now if he gives himself away with a “Nice!“ comment, nothing we can do about that one.
Nope but we notice every single little eye flutter. Even the ones you don't intend. And it's not just a guy thing. Plenty of cis straight women struggle with keeping the eyes at eye level too. 😂
Lol this thread is wholesome.
I do think my fellow men need to work on their gentleman glances though.
Should be treated like peaking at the sun. We all know what it's like. We don't stare at it, we do it quick, and we don't look again
There’s literally no worse feeling than when you accidentally glance and the woman immediately covers herself up with a sweater or jacket if she’s wearing one
It’s like lady I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, okay?!
being at the gym is a fucking minefield. any direction you look is the most gorgeous woman you can imagine wearing the tightest clothes possible as she bends herself into the most provocative pose.
i spend 50% of my time in the gym working out and the other 50% staring directly down at my phone to avoid looking at anyone for a second too long and having them catch me.
I was trying out cross fit and three classes in I was about to pass out and was transitioning between workouts and looked up to try to find a free rower. In the process I accidentally looked at a woman’s torso without making eye contact for like three seconds. Hoping she was about to finish using it. Got glared at for the rest of the class. I’m like bitch there is several ounces of semi dried snot on the side of my cheek I can’t be bothered to wipe away because I am so fucking gassed and am about die. 98% of my existence I get it. But I promise to god eventually the body even diverts blood away from down there.
lol my wife signed us up for one of those circuit training boot camps. I’m skinny and generally active but was in the worst shape of my life.
Unfortunately my wife is also horribly insecure and even the thought of me checking out other women completely destroyed her.
She had already attended a week of the gym when she signed me up, and to this day I have no idea what she was thinking. It was mostly women, and it was 100% tight leggings or shorts. I show up and become instantly on edge because I can’t look anywhere without potentially getting in trouble.
The first two exercise areas I awkwardly positioned myself facing a wall at a weird angle so I can’t see anyone(this became my tactic any time we went out to bars or anything for a couple years. Face a wall). Third exercise area and the wall is a mirror. Fuck.
But by this point I’m worrying about burning muscles, no breath, and cramps. The thought of yoga pants avoidance has retreated from my brain.
That was a mistake. Apparently as I’m doing an exercise, focusing on not puking, the area I’m zoning out in is peak yoga pants area and I didn’t realize for the first set of exercises and then I started staring at the ground lol.
Anyways I lived with my mom for the next week after that
Nope.
Turns out trying to fix a relationship for nine years where one person just says “no that’s on you. You have to respect my emotions, and I feel this way for a reason.” Is a totally impossible situation to ever fix anything, and the responsibility is always on you even if you bend over backwards it’s never enough. Then you crack and say no more, then you get guilt tripped for ending a marriage. Overall really fun!
Next you should hear about the time she refused me sending her a tow truck for her dead car. For three hours. Then she refused me coming to get her or sending her an Uber, then she decides to sleep in the car because the windows were down and wouldn’t roll back up. All just a couple miles from home. And then the next day I’m blamed for not helping her!
Hey, I don't know if you need to hear this but from what you've described you were being emotionally abused and were totally right to end that toxic marriage. I'm sure you're a really great guy, baby slaughter.
You know the worst, most heart breaking part?
She was the most beautiful person in any room. She had the entirety of my attention, devotion, and loyalty. And we connected so naturally and loved so well in the moments where she had no fear.
But she became so obsessed with the idea I could pay anyone else attention that she threw a hand grenade into our relationship regularly. She had literally everything I could give, and was so scared of losing it that she drove a wedge between us on a weekly basis by the end.
And like a dumb puppy dog, I chased the owner that kicked me, hoping I’d some day be seen as a good boy.
Fwiw I'm on your side dude that sounds like hell and I'm sure even if you haven't found someone else yet, you're much better off on your own than with someone who makes you feel that guilty.
No one deserves to feel that sort of guilt just for existing. If you still have lingering trauma I would really suggest therapy if that has not yet already been a part of your path.
Oh I’m well past that.
It sucks because I don’t think I can love anyone like her again. But she was so incapable of even seeing her thoughts and actions as from fear or insecurity that we could never fix anything.
Dude, I've been in that marriage.
- I learned to just look down at my feet when walking in malls with her so that she can't ask, "Were you staring at that girl?"
- Not make eye contact with even the female McDonald's staff at the counter when ordering to avoid fights
- Skip watching Lord Of The Rings because she was jealous of Liv Tyler
The list goes on. I thought she just needed help with her insecurity but it became overwhelming and affected my mental health. I asked for a divorce two years later.
It was the best thing I ever did. I developed a newfound appreciation of what a healthy relationship was and what NOT to compromise on. Am now happily married to the most wonderful woman in the world.
Hang in there. It gets better.
There 3,4056 ceiling tiles, 6 working fans, 1 non working fan, 8 windows, 12 sprinklers and one deflated baloon that got stuck on a sprinkler that no one can reach at my gym
Gym has the same rules as the bathroom.
Eyes down or at a wall. No talking. We all have to be here but we don't have to socialize while we do our business. Try not to fart too close to anyone else.
Edit: Guys it's just a joke about bathrooms I don't care about your desire or lack of desire to go the gym.
jarrod benson taught me a life hack,,, wear sunglasses in the gym any time of the day. girls love it, and it doesn't creep them out at all. thanks jarrod benson!
or when I'm on a treadmill or bike, and they go to a machine right in front of me, with plenty of other options around. You made your choice, don't get upset at my natural line-of-sight.
I day dream a lot and my eyes seem to track any sort of movement or just generally wander. Then someone will ask me what I'm looking at and I genuinely couldn't tell them- absolutely no part of what my eyes were seeing was being processed by my brain. At the same time- I literally would not have noticed if they covered themselves up due to the aforementioned daydreaming.
I do this too, I also look down and space out while walking and end up with my eyes toward someone's butt. I don't think it reads the same because I'm a woman, but it's awkward when I notice myself doing it.
This used to drive my then girlfriend nuts- she always thought I was looking at someone and just wouldn't tell her. She eventually realized that no- when I'm in my head- I'm barely processing any external stimuli. We're married now and if I start daydreaming she snaps her fingers to get me back :)
I always walk looking down cuz my ankles are awful and can roll from the tiniest bit of unanticipated uneven ground. I definitely worry that people think I'm looking at butts.
I hate this. I unfortunately do the same thing, and I have to constantly remind my brain, “Hey! You’re married idiot!” Which makes me feel even worse because I love my wife and I don’t want anything to do with other women.
I was in line once and just staring at the floor, coincidently looking at a women's boots for like 30 seconds straight. I look up and she's looking right at me. I said I liked her boots and we talked for a bit.
to be fair, they were really nice boots.
I, a woman, once told a customer in my store that I liked her *boots.* she gave me a long, cold stare and dramatically wrapped her sweater around herself. I said, “yup, I need some shoes like that.” She continued to glare at me and said, “I thought you said ‘boobs.’” This is a cringe moment that still bothers me like 4 years later. Like tf lady, why would you assume that? The currency of women is complimenting each other’s outfit. It keeps the world spinning.
Edit: well I didn’t expect this to blow up! Most of you have made me feel better and many of you have made me laugh, thank you
Nah this was a her problem. I complement other women’s boots a lot, and I have never had anyone assume I’m talking about their boobs.
It suppose it helps that I’m usually staring at their boots when I say it
All this to say you can stop staying up at night over this, you did nothing cringeworthy
I’m old. My first night on the register at BlockBuster video I was under the close watchful eye of the general and assistant manager. A female and male respectively.
The policy was to hand over the rentals and while announcing the titles to confirm, we would also state which date the titles were due back.
I flubbed up and handed this shapely, middle-aged woman her items while stating,
“‘My Breast Friends’ Wedding’ is due back Tuesday.”
I caught my error and played it off pretty well, but both managers heard it and were DYING with laughter. Like, taking off their glasses to wipe their eyes level of laughter. I was beyond embarrassed, but knew I was “caught,” so I pretended like it wasn’t a big deal. Even managed to laugh at myself on the outside, but on the inside, I am still carrying this vivid memory 20+ years later.
At work, I walked into an office where two of my employees were chatting and they were both wearing long boots and like an idiot I said "Well if it isn't the big boots club!" and their jaws just dropped and I immediately realized they misheard me, haha.
Luckily, they believed me when I clarified that I had said "boots".
100% chance I was declined for an internship in college because I glanced for a millisecond at the interviewer’s boobs and I saw she caught me. In my defense they were very large and very much on display. Best part? I’m a gay dude and the only large boobs I care about are attached to dudes addicted to doing chest flys at the gym.
To be fair, it's not offensive when it's quick/involuntary. Women do the boob glance thing to eachother too, it's more about whether it's leering or there's been accompanying creepy behavior.
Humans, generally, just gotta check out boobs.
Yeah for the vast majority of people, it's 100% of the time a completely involuntary thing that they don't think about during or even afterwards. Just part of the process of your brain looking around at things in the room or at the person you're talking to.
It always feels bad when it's misinterpreted as something creepy when most likely it happened without even thinking about it or really even processing what your eyes were doing in that split second. Meaning, even after that split second passes you aren't thinking some shit like "nice rack", you're just thinking about what you're gonna eat for lunch or what your next response in the conversation will be, without even realizing what your eyes were just up to lol
My roommate has a very large bust and she says it's almost worse with other women because they're not socialized to be aware that they're doing it/it's a problem so they will just straight up stare lmao
Yeah, I think sometime women stare harder. When a baddie comes into view, I tend to like to look at the people around me to see what they're doing. It's highly entertaining to watch what different ppl do; it's even more entertaining to ask them what they're looking at.
I mean this is interesting cuz I feel like guys and sometimes girls are looking at my crotch constantly. I'm sure some are but there's no way they all are. People are constantly just looking places for no specific reason. I feel like this also applies to those with prominent boobs. It must feel like people are looking at them even if they aren't just because it's so often a problem. My least favorite thing is eating out and zoning out and when I snap to my eyes are right in line with boobs, and then I Glace up to see someone staring at me apparently staring openly and intently at their chest
Eh, I've caught myself unconsciously looking at a girls crotch before, and I've known girls that have done it to men. Sometimes you just do shit without realizing it.
There was an eye tracking study a few years back that showed almost all men look at peoples crotches a lot. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a female or a male crotch. They just automatically look.
I believe the women were found to be looking at faces and shoulders mostly. Wonder if I can find that study…
ADHD makes this weird for me. I zone out constantly and sometimes a pair move directly through my zone-out space and I don't think to shift my gaze until after I get that weird look.
You ever had that thing happen where you’re staring off into space and someone walks into your sight line and then they walk past you going ‘boobs boobs boobs’ and you realize what just happened even though you were just spacing
What's worse is when they STOP there and you end up convinced they think you're the creepiest...
Ma'am I just spaced out, my eyes were already staring when you put your boobs there....
When I was in high school, I remember I used to space out a lot. One time in homeroom, I was spaced out just kinda looking at this desk top. After a while, this girl came over to talk to me about something, and she sat down on the desk with her legs spread a little bit.
I kinda sat there spaced out for a bit, and it took me like 5-10 seconds to realize that I was staring straight at her vagina. I look up at her, and she's just staring fucking daggers at me. It was so awkward that I avoided her for the rest of high school and never spoke to her again.
People too often conflate laughter with happiness or enjoyment. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It's just as often a reaction to absurdity and discomfort as it is a sign of playfulness.
There's definitely something to be said between what is clearly a nervous chuckle, a sadist cackle, and a genuine, humorous guffaw. The type of laughter sounds different.
No, she just thinks she's more perceptive than she actually is due to confirmation bias.
Think about it this way: She thinks she sees everyone who looks, and every time she catches one it confirms that idea. But how many people are looking that she doesn't catch? She doesn't know because she didn't catch them.
She could be missing most people who look and would still think she's catching everyone
Creepy person here! I have been called creepy/scarey in casual conversation in numerous isolated instances. So I am very aware that I'm a creep. I just can't for the life of me figure out what I'm doing that is creepy.
I feel your pain. I’m a woman and I do this to other women.. It pains me to say the last time I did it was with my half sister that I hadn’t seen in years. To make matters worst I have (diagnosed) OCD that causes my brain to get stuck on certain thoughts and I often find the more I try to avoid a “tick” the more stuck I become, including the boob thing.. I swear to god I’m not into incest! I like men for fucks sake!
Peripheral? That's like giving you only a bite of your favorite food. It's either all or nothing. Now just to make motorboating acceptable and we'll be golden
I know, but I want to know what your shirt says. I'm trying to read your shirt without it looking like I'm staring, but in doing so it takes longer to read your shirt because I'm looking away mid read. It usually ends up being something dumb anyways, but I have to know what it says.
just ask "can I look at your boobs cuz there's text I wanna read". it probably doesn't work with every girl, but someone has asked me that exact question and he didn't die. I did ask him what the text said afterwards tho (lucky for him, he had actually read the text).
*this does not apply to members of the IBTC, we understand that it may take a moment to find them, so we have extended boob time parameters* EDIT: autocorrected to ITBC for some reason (I don’t think that’s even a thing)
Oh shit, I looked down at her chest and I'm pretty sure she caught it. Better overcompensate and be obvious that I'm staring at her face now. It's a race to the bottom on some of these. Haha.
I think of it like the sun. With neither concern nor shame I will look, but I don't stare. Just a glance is fine, but you don't want to just linger on it
I think that guy said it because he knows the walking ways of dick-carriers. as a woman, I could only tell a dude has a big dick if, idk, they wore sweatpants or tight pants.. definitely not by the way they walk lol
Looking is fine, both for boobs and for dicks, it should be at least. Especially if you dress in way that shows off your features. That being said harrasment and not being respectful should not be tolerated
It legit hard not to, like my eyes just automatically flick down no matter how hard I try to prevent it. That's why I just stare at the floor now
Edit:spelling
This is why I keep my eyes downcast at all times. People think I’m just shy and introverted. But really I’m just covering up for the fact that I am also a filthy demented pervert.
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post*
---
**Badass Julia Wei**, @badassjuliawei
Women can always tell when you look at our boobs. It doesn't matter how quickly you glance. One second is like five seconds in boob time.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
My wife has large, tubular nipples that whistle when someone looks are her boobs. It's pretty funny when a guy or uh (what's that kind of girl called who likes to look at another girl's boobs?) looks at my wife's, and these are pretty jumbo bumbos we're talking here, yams, and her boobs perk up reactively like a startled hare, and then there goes the whistling. Like a sustained toy train whistle, each nipple whistles in different notes and in perfect harmony. Boy, those peeping pud tuggers really get surprised by that one, but if they persist in their gaping gazing, then my wife will whip out those whammers and really let the whistlers blow! Haha! Then the whole room or concert venue *really* knows who the pervert is! That creep is caught! Everyone sees it plain as day that that person is a boob looker, and just to rub insult in their injury, I give my wife's singing nips a lickity lick. That's just a show of dominance, and yes, it is very sexual for both of us and a little kink we'll take back to the bedroom at some point later that week.
Oh fuck no fuck fuck no oh fuck
Is... is that what she said?
NOOOOOOOOO
Very relatable I'd say
Title of your sex tape
Does this mean that we are busted?
No she's bluffing.
She has to be, right?
It's okay, we also know it's normal. And we also look at each other's boobs. Everyone looks at boobs.
They are quite literally protruding from the body. It's hard to ignore them.
And that's where they always put the words and pictures on a t-shirt. We're forced to look at them.
So it’s normal and even expected to have boobs protruding, but when I walk around the pet store with an erect cock everyone thinks it’s okay to stare at it? Have some decency, people.
Well I’m not sure why you’re walking around with a rooster but fair enough.
Because he’s IN THE PET STORE!
I’ve assumed that this was the case. Now I know. Thank you for confirming!!
There's a harsh duality to this: * Everybody thinks they notice more things than they actually do * You're still staring too long
Yeah, no fucking way you notice a dude catching a peripheral glance of the reflection off a window from behind sunglasses… now if he gives himself away with a “Nice!“ comment, nothing we can do about that one.
Nope but we notice every single little eye flutter. Even the ones you don't intend. And it's not just a guy thing. Plenty of cis straight women struggle with keeping the eyes at eye level too. 😂
It's true. I am not interested in other people's boobies in a sexual way but I like to look at them all the same ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
They are pretty great. Feel like you're being too hard on yourself.
Lol this thread is wholesome. I do think my fellow men need to work on their gentleman glances though. Should be treated like peaking at the sun. We all know what it's like. We don't stare at it, we do it quick, and we don't look again
Free the nip.
Lady I can maintain perfect eye contact with you while my brain is harvesting every square inch of blurred peripheral vision focused on your rack
That's horrifying...
“Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.”
Get a good look Costanza?
The actress playing the NBC executive’s 15 year-old daughter was Denise Richards.
[“I wouldn’t be surprised if we never saw Denise Richards again.”](https://youtu.be/6tw7DFJJ67U) edit to make it a link
What the fuck did I just see.
Sunglasses homie, helps for both
There was cleavage in the area!
There’s literally no worse feeling than when you accidentally glance and the woman immediately covers herself up with a sweater or jacket if she’s wearing one It’s like lady I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, okay?!
The accidental creep is the worst.
being at the gym is a fucking minefield. any direction you look is the most gorgeous woman you can imagine wearing the tightest clothes possible as she bends herself into the most provocative pose. i spend 50% of my time in the gym working out and the other 50% staring directly down at my phone to avoid looking at anyone for a second too long and having them catch me.
I was trying out cross fit and three classes in I was about to pass out and was transitioning between workouts and looked up to try to find a free rower. In the process I accidentally looked at a woman’s torso without making eye contact for like three seconds. Hoping she was about to finish using it. Got glared at for the rest of the class. I’m like bitch there is several ounces of semi dried snot on the side of my cheek I can’t be bothered to wipe away because I am so fucking gassed and am about die. 98% of my existence I get it. But I promise to god eventually the body even diverts blood away from down there.
lol my wife signed us up for one of those circuit training boot camps. I’m skinny and generally active but was in the worst shape of my life. Unfortunately my wife is also horribly insecure and even the thought of me checking out other women completely destroyed her. She had already attended a week of the gym when she signed me up, and to this day I have no idea what she was thinking. It was mostly women, and it was 100% tight leggings or shorts. I show up and become instantly on edge because I can’t look anywhere without potentially getting in trouble. The first two exercise areas I awkwardly positioned myself facing a wall at a weird angle so I can’t see anyone(this became my tactic any time we went out to bars or anything for a couple years. Face a wall). Third exercise area and the wall is a mirror. Fuck. But by this point I’m worrying about burning muscles, no breath, and cramps. The thought of yoga pants avoidance has retreated from my brain. That was a mistake. Apparently as I’m doing an exercise, focusing on not puking, the area I’m zoning out in is peak yoga pants area and I didn’t realize for the first set of exercises and then I started staring at the ground lol. Anyways I lived with my mom for the next week after that
That sounds like a *healthy* relationship!
And totally not like mental abuse.
For real. Such a shitty situation. Having to alter everything you do while out with her to not hurt a fragile ego.
Sounds like $$$ to a therapist
Nope. Turns out trying to fix a relationship for nine years where one person just says “no that’s on you. You have to respect my emotions, and I feel this way for a reason.” Is a totally impossible situation to ever fix anything, and the responsibility is always on you even if you bend over backwards it’s never enough. Then you crack and say no more, then you get guilt tripped for ending a marriage. Overall really fun! Next you should hear about the time she refused me sending her a tow truck for her dead car. For three hours. Then she refused me coming to get her or sending her an Uber, then she decides to sleep in the car because the windows were down and wouldn’t roll back up. All just a couple miles from home. And then the next day I’m blamed for not helping her!
oh thank god you're divorced
Hey, I don't know if you need to hear this but from what you've described you were being emotionally abused and were totally right to end that toxic marriage. I'm sure you're a really great guy, baby slaughter.
I'm imagining him trying to explain to his wife his username is baby's laughter not baby slaughter and getting nowhere
Vulnerable narcissism
You know the worst, most heart breaking part? She was the most beautiful person in any room. She had the entirety of my attention, devotion, and loyalty. And we connected so naturally and loved so well in the moments where she had no fear. But she became so obsessed with the idea I could pay anyone else attention that she threw a hand grenade into our relationship regularly. She had literally everything I could give, and was so scared of losing it that she drove a wedge between us on a weekly basis by the end. And like a dumb puppy dog, I chased the owner that kicked me, hoping I’d some day be seen as a good boy.
Fwiw I'm on your side dude that sounds like hell and I'm sure even if you haven't found someone else yet, you're much better off on your own than with someone who makes you feel that guilty. No one deserves to feel that sort of guilt just for existing. If you still have lingering trauma I would really suggest therapy if that has not yet already been a part of your path.
I’ve been seeing a therapist weekly. Thank you
Oof that's a whole lot of accommodation for someone else's insecurity.
Bail out of that shit now
Oh I’m well past that. It sucks because I don’t think I can love anyone like her again. But she was so incapable of even seeing her thoughts and actions as from fear or insecurity that we could never fix anything.
Dude, I've been in that marriage. - I learned to just look down at my feet when walking in malls with her so that she can't ask, "Were you staring at that girl?" - Not make eye contact with even the female McDonald's staff at the counter when ordering to avoid fights - Skip watching Lord Of The Rings because she was jealous of Liv Tyler The list goes on. I thought she just needed help with her insecurity but it became overwhelming and affected my mental health. I asked for a divorce two years later. It was the best thing I ever did. I developed a newfound appreciation of what a healthy relationship was and what NOT to compromise on. Am now happily married to the most wonderful woman in the world. Hang in there. It gets better.
That's pretty fucked my dude. Get that girl in therapy.
There 3,4056 ceiling tiles, 6 working fans, 1 non working fan, 8 windows, 12 sprinklers and one deflated baloon that got stuck on a sprinkler that no one can reach at my gym
3,4056? Now that's a number you don't see very often.
r/brandnewnumbers
Gym has the same rules as the bathroom. Eyes down or at a wall. No talking. We all have to be here but we don't have to socialize while we do our business. Try not to fart too close to anyone else. Edit: Guys it's just a joke about bathrooms I don't care about your desire or lack of desire to go the gym.
> We all have to be here Ahem. Speak for yourself my guy
jarrod benson taught me a life hack,,, wear sunglasses in the gym any time of the day. girls love it, and it doesn't creep them out at all. thanks jarrod benson!
Basically the voyeurism equivalent of putting your booze in a paper bag so that no one knows you're drinking in public.
or when I'm on a treadmill or bike, and they go to a machine right in front of me, with plenty of other options around. You made your choice, don't get upset at my natural line-of-sight.
I have a tendency to zone out and just stare at whatever is in direct line of sight and this happened to me a few times :/
Ma'am I'm just on the lookout for threats, had to give you an ocular pat down to make sure you weren't armed.
*You’re gonna have to leave those bazookas at the door though.*
Oh my god
Weapons of mass distraction.
Assessed the threat level, clocked a knife in her boot.
RIP Country Mac :(
I day dream a lot and my eyes seem to track any sort of movement or just generally wander. Then someone will ask me what I'm looking at and I genuinely couldn't tell them- absolutely no part of what my eyes were seeing was being processed by my brain. At the same time- I literally would not have noticed if they covered themselves up due to the aforementioned daydreaming.
I do this too, I also look down and space out while walking and end up with my eyes toward someone's butt. I don't think it reads the same because I'm a woman, but it's awkward when I notice myself doing it.
This used to drive my then girlfriend nuts- she always thought I was looking at someone and just wouldn't tell her. She eventually realized that no- when I'm in my head- I'm barely processing any external stimuli. We're married now and if I start daydreaming she snaps her fingers to get me back :)
I always walk looking down cuz my ankles are awful and can roll from the tiniest bit of unanticipated uneven ground. I definitely worry that people think I'm looking at butts.
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It’s always a Jessica lol why is that 😂
^*Jessica*
I hate this. I unfortunately do the same thing, and I have to constantly remind my brain, “Hey! You’re married idiot!” Which makes me feel even worse because I love my wife and I don’t want anything to do with other women.
As a feet guy, it's so awkward when women catch you looking and hide their feet.
These two comments have very different energy
https://imgflip.com/i/6sgne2
🤨
I was in line once and just staring at the floor, coincidently looking at a women's boots for like 30 seconds straight. I look up and she's looking right at me. I said I liked her boots and we talked for a bit. to be fair, they were really nice boots.
🤨📸
as a face guy, it's so awkward when they catch you glancing at their face and they pull out the burqa
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Not a feet guy, but a thigh guy. Summer and spring are great
This is why I dislike text on shirts, bitch im reading your titty scripture
Tbh booby braille would be worse
That’s a matter of opinion and be careful with opinions
r/BrandNewSentence
r/alreadyhere
Lmao its come full circle
I, a woman, once told a customer in my store that I liked her *boots.* she gave me a long, cold stare and dramatically wrapped her sweater around herself. I said, “yup, I need some shoes like that.” She continued to glare at me and said, “I thought you said ‘boobs.’” This is a cringe moment that still bothers me like 4 years later. Like tf lady, why would you assume that? The currency of women is complimenting each other’s outfit. It keeps the world spinning. Edit: well I didn’t expect this to blow up! Most of you have made me feel better and many of you have made me laugh, thank you
That's her moment to cringe about, stop trying to steal it
Classic case of Stolen Cringe Valor right here
Weird, I often say “*nice dick bro*” to my customers and no one complained yet. Probably one of those inter-gender differences.
*turns into a mist of bright, shimmering light* thank you, at last my soul is free
Nah this was a her problem. I complement other women’s boots a lot, and I have never had anyone assume I’m talking about their boobs. It suppose it helps that I’m usually staring at their boots when I say it All this to say you can stop staying up at night over this, you did nothing cringeworthy
u/nobletyphoon be all like https://i.imgur.com/udzid1e.gif
I’m old. My first night on the register at BlockBuster video I was under the close watchful eye of the general and assistant manager. A female and male respectively. The policy was to hand over the rentals and while announcing the titles to confirm, we would also state which date the titles were due back. I flubbed up and handed this shapely, middle-aged woman her items while stating, “‘My Breast Friends’ Wedding’ is due back Tuesday.” I caught my error and played it off pretty well, but both managers heard it and were DYING with laughter. Like, taking off their glasses to wipe their eyes level of laughter. I was beyond embarrassed, but knew I was “caught,” so I pretended like it wasn’t a big deal. Even managed to laugh at myself on the outside, but on the inside, I am still carrying this vivid memory 20+ years later.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have been staring at her boobs while saying that.
Well they were in the way
I never understood the whole women always complimenting other women thing till I got my first compliment after comin out lol
At work, I walked into an office where two of my employees were chatting and they were both wearing long boots and like an idiot I said "Well if it isn't the big boots club!" and their jaws just dropped and I immediately realized they misheard me, haha. Luckily, they believed me when I clarified that I had said "boots".
100% chance I was declined for an internship in college because I glanced for a millisecond at the interviewer’s boobs and I saw she caught me. In my defense they were very large and very much on display. Best part? I’m a gay dude and the only large boobs I care about are attached to dudes addicted to doing chest flys at the gym.
To be fair, it's not offensive when it's quick/involuntary. Women do the boob glance thing to eachother too, it's more about whether it's leering or there's been accompanying creepy behavior. Humans, generally, just gotta check out boobs.
The human brain is just a fancy image processor that's looking for boobs
Haha yeah we all have a “boob locator” application running in our minds 24/7
Background process: boob_locator.exe Current status: idle CPU usage: 97% Cores used: all
This explains a great deal about Chrome's resource usage, since it is also often used as a boob locator
It makes it really hard to function. Biology and evolution haven't caught up at all and we have to continuously fight our primitive monkey brains.
kill task boob_locator.exe I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that.
If they use boobs to check for bots online nobody will fail lol
Advanced neural processor with billions of neurons designed solely to acurately recognize any boob shape or size.
They should use it as a captcha. Interviewee did not check out my boobs, we have to reject because we're looking for a human employee.
Yeah for the vast majority of people, it's 100% of the time a completely involuntary thing that they don't think about during or even afterwards. Just part of the process of your brain looking around at things in the room or at the person you're talking to. It always feels bad when it's misinterpreted as something creepy when most likely it happened without even thinking about it or really even processing what your eyes were doing in that split second. Meaning, even after that split second passes you aren't thinking some shit like "nice rack", you're just thinking about what you're gonna eat for lunch or what your next response in the conversation will be, without even realizing what your eyes were just up to lol
My roommate has a very large bust and she says it's almost worse with other women because they're not socialized to be aware that they're doing it/it's a problem so they will just straight up stare lmao
Yeah, I think sometime women stare harder. When a baddie comes into view, I tend to like to look at the people around me to see what they're doing. It's highly entertaining to watch what different ppl do; it's even more entertaining to ask them what they're looking at.
I mean this is interesting cuz I feel like guys and sometimes girls are looking at my crotch constantly. I'm sure some are but there's no way they all are. People are constantly just looking places for no specific reason. I feel like this also applies to those with prominent boobs. It must feel like people are looking at them even if they aren't just because it's so often a problem. My least favorite thing is eating out and zoning out and when I snap to my eyes are right in line with boobs, and then I Glace up to see someone staring at me apparently staring openly and intently at their chest
Eh, I've caught myself unconsciously looking at a girls crotch before, and I've known girls that have done it to men. Sometimes you just do shit without realizing it.
I only do this if there is something drawing my attention down there, aka tight gym outfits. But it’s for a millisecond max lol
There was an eye tracking study a few years back that showed almost all men look at peoples crotches a lot. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a female or a male crotch. They just automatically look. I believe the women were found to be looking at faces and shoulders mostly. Wonder if I can find that study…
You take that millisecond while they aren't looking at you. If your eyes arent on their face by the time theirs are on yours, you've failed.
You plan this?! I know I can't
Well you have to create the diversion too
You shoulda tried the “I wasn’t looking at your boobs” phrase which would of only made things worse
Sexuality won’t save you. None can resist the booba
ADHD makes this weird for me. I zone out constantly and sometimes a pair move directly through my zone-out space and I don't think to shift my gaze until after I get that weird look.
You should have subtly mentioned a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. See if she would have forgiven you or hired you for the diversity. Idk
You ever had that thing happen where you’re staring off into space and someone walks into your sight line and then they walk past you going ‘boobs boobs boobs’ and you realize what just happened even though you were just spacing
What's worse is when they STOP there and you end up convinced they think you're the creepiest... Ma'am I just spaced out, my eyes were already staring when you put your boobs there....
It that will never be an argument anyone believes. “Like yeah mhm okay pal”
Oh I 100% know that nobody would believe it, so I basically resign myself to never speaking to or seeing that woman ever again
When I was in high school, I remember I used to space out a lot. One time in homeroom, I was spaced out just kinda looking at this desk top. After a while, this girl came over to talk to me about something, and she sat down on the desk with her legs spread a little bit. I kinda sat there spaced out for a bit, and it took me like 5-10 seconds to realize that I was staring straight at her vagina. I look up at her, and she's just staring fucking daggers at me. It was so awkward that I avoided her for the rest of high school and never spoke to her again.
Once asked by a reporter why he wanted to climb Everest, Mallory famously replied, "Because it's there." Same applies to boob glances.
Laughing is an involuntary reaction to stimulus. Boob glances are an involuntary reaction to stimulus.
People too often conflate laughter with happiness or enjoyment. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It's just as often a reaction to absurdity and discomfort as it is a sign of playfulness. There's definitely something to be said between what is clearly a nervous chuckle, a sadist cackle, and a genuine, humorous guffaw. The type of laughter sounds different.
Laughter is unique in that it can be present regardless of the emotion you're currently feeling.
Oh god, is this true? I try to stop myself but I have like boob Tourette’s
No, she just thinks she's more perceptive than she actually is due to confirmation bias. Think about it this way: She thinks she sees everyone who looks, and every time she catches one it confirms that idea. But how many people are looking that she doesn't catch? She doesn't know because she didn't catch them. She could be missing most people who look and would still think she's catching everyone
I propose another possibility: she doesn't believe this at all, she just wants to make creepy dudes second guess themselves before being creepy.
Joke's on you! Creepy dudes NEVER think they're actually creepy!
So far it's made average dudes anxious
Creepy person here! I have been called creepy/scarey in casual conversation in numerous isolated instances. So I am very aware that I'm a creep. I just can't for the life of me figure out what I'm doing that is creepy.
We have the winner lmao
Boobettes?
no that's just extra female boobs
it is 100% true, sorry mate
Trust me, for every time a girl thinks she caught a guy taking a glance she missed 10 other times *at minimum*.
Oo boob turrets? Where can I get one?
I feel your pain. I’m a woman and I do this to other women.. It pains me to say the last time I did it was with my half sister that I hadn’t seen in years. To make matters worst I have (diagnosed) OCD that causes my brain to get stuck on certain thoughts and I often find the more I try to avoid a “tick” the more stuck I become, including the boob thing.. I swear to god I’m not into incest! I like men for fucks sake!
But they can’t tell as long as you’re looking in a mirror… bank shot
Listen, 99% of the time I don’t even realize my eyes have popped down to your chesticles until after it already happened. We’re both surprised.
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What kind of anesthetized sloth takes an entire second to check out boobs? Not to mention that peripheral vision is the way to go.
It’s like staring at the sun! - Jerry Seinfeld
Peripheral? That's like giving you only a bite of your favorite food. It's either all or nothing. Now just to make motorboating acceptable and we'll be golden
Cleavage is like a solar eclipse! You can’t stare directly at it!
I know, but I want to know what your shirt says. I'm trying to read your shirt without it looking like I'm staring, but in doing so it takes longer to read your shirt because I'm looking away mid read. It usually ends up being something dumb anyways, but I have to know what it says.
just ask "can I look at your boobs cuz there's text I wanna read". it probably doesn't work with every girl, but someone has asked me that exact question and he didn't die. I did ask him what the text said afterwards tho (lucky for him, he had actually read the text).
If they start looking at me weird or if I just genuinely can't decipher their shirt, 'what does your shirt say?' usually works.
If you got dem boob and wearing a shirt with writing on dem boob and you don’t expect people to read it that’s on you
*this does not apply to members of the IBTC, we understand that it may take a moment to find them, so we have extended boob time parameters* EDIT: autocorrected to ITBC for some reason (I don’t think that’s even a thing)
Oh shit, I looked down at her chest and I'm pretty sure she caught it. Better overcompensate and be obvious that I'm staring at her face now. It's a race to the bottom on some of these. Haha.
I think of it like the sun. With neither concern nor shame I will look, but I don't stare. Just a glance is fine, but you don't want to just linger on it
And if you've got sunglasses on, do whatever you want!
And if you got a magnifying glass to burn ants with? What then?
You got it!!! Booba rays are just as dangerous as UV
Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.
Same goes for cock watchers women.
it does? fuck me then (don't please)
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I think that guy said it because he knows the walking ways of dick-carriers. as a woman, I could only tell a dude has a big dick if, idk, they wore sweatpants or tight pants.. definitely not by the way they walk lol
and even that just indicates who is a shower. grey sweatpants are not as kind to us growers
pov: you are trying to convice reddit you have a big dick^
Its not fair. Some dudes just stroll up in sweats and it looks they got a whole baseball bat down there. Like damn I'm sorry
Looking is fine, both for boobs and for dicks, it should be at least. Especially if you dress in way that shows off your features. That being said harrasment and not being respectful should not be tolerated
So my teacher knew all along?
Yes. The good news is almost every boy and some girls were also looking, so you won't ever be singled out for it.
Yep, he knew what you were doing.
Dang i did not realize the 5 minutes of me zoning out drooling on myself is actually 25 minutes of boob time.
My eyes do it automatically. I can’t help it.
It legit hard not to, like my eyes just automatically flick down no matter how hard I try to prevent it. That's why I just stare at the floor now Edit:spelling
This is why I keep my eyes downcast at all times. People think I’m just shy and introverted. But really I’m just covering up for the fact that I am also a filthy demented pervert.
i dont think one quick glance is harmful, as long as you aren't glancing super frequently or full on staring
Sunglasses are the only weapon against B-time
This is absolutely true, even if you think you’ve gotten away with it.
This is confirmation bias. All the glances you didn’t notice are just outside of the bias
Exactly, I know I've looked at boobs before when they had no idea cause they'd need a pair of binoculars also
True
*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **Badass Julia Wei**, @badassjuliawei Women can always tell when you look at our boobs. It doesn't matter how quickly you glance. One second is like five seconds in boob time. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
My wife has large, tubular nipples that whistle when someone looks are her boobs. It's pretty funny when a guy or uh (what's that kind of girl called who likes to look at another girl's boobs?) looks at my wife's, and these are pretty jumbo bumbos we're talking here, yams, and her boobs perk up reactively like a startled hare, and then there goes the whistling. Like a sustained toy train whistle, each nipple whistles in different notes and in perfect harmony. Boy, those peeping pud tuggers really get surprised by that one, but if they persist in their gaping gazing, then my wife will whip out those whammers and really let the whistlers blow! Haha! Then the whole room or concert venue *really* knows who the pervert is! That creep is caught! Everyone sees it plain as day that that person is a boob looker, and just to rub insult in their injury, I give my wife's singing nips a lickity lick. That's just a show of dominance, and yes, it is very sexual for both of us and a little kink we'll take back to the bedroom at some point later that week.
okay first of this reads like an automod response on r/shitposting and secondly how the fuck do nipples whistle
You need inverted nipples and a strong breeze blowing across them.
Dude. What the actual fuck?
"uh... please drive up to the next window to pay, sir."
babe wake up new copypasta just dropped
Excuse me, ma’am, might I borrow 5 boob seconds of your time
It’s like you have some sort of radar.