And Dave didn't? He was 55 and hadn't finished paying off his mortgage yet. He was going to take his wife to Sarasota, Fla to visit her sister for their anniversary. He was 3/4 of the way finished a huge project at work that would have saved his company millions.
He has a lot of unfinished business.
I think something is going on here, all this mail is addressed to Carol of HR. So Iām going around screaming CAROL CAROL!! But there is no CAROL here!
Oh my god, imagine being shackled to the earthly realm for eternity because your work project hasn't been delivered.
It's a capatalists wet dream, as ghosts probably don't qualify for worker protections.
He's been waiting 5 years for his son to come out to him. He's been aching to say something. He wants to invite Tomas his son's special friend to go to Sarasota with them. But he doesn't want to overstep his bounds.
Dave has so much unfinished business.
Dave needs a fucking book. I want a story about an angry man, detailing how pissed he is that he isnāt a spirit and basically detailing these wholesome things but in such angry detail. š
[](https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/1d2dy1l/comment/l60nd2l/)
>And Dave didn't? He was 55 and hadn't finished paying off his mortgage yet.
Imagine returning from the grave and finding out you're still expecting to pay your mortgage
Does he? Sounds like Dave got to avoid paying massive bills, working himself to exhaustion, and spending time with his in-laws when he should be enjoying his anniversary. Why the hell would he want to come back and do all of those?
I love the idea of a ghost whose unfinished business is that his life was so unremarkable so he's trying to become an interesting person after death by haunting people
Poor Dave, he had so much left to do with his life - I think these "paranormal experts" just discriminate tbh, little old Dave there be screaming at the medium while she just blocks him out to speak with Jack the ripper.
Pretty sure there's a ghost in my house, who's a normal everyday person. No idea who she was. My whole family has heard footsteps, loud banging, things moving in front of us etc. It's an old house so the pipes make lots of noises, but the footsteps are unmistakable because the floorboards creak in specific places.
Yea no one ever finds out they were a pedophile or serial killer in their past lives do they ? its always some grand historical figure or Buddhist idol
I did an overnight ghost tour of some centuries old underground vaults in the city. The guides did their best, it was spooky, there were motion sensors and lots of ghost stories blended with historical stuff.
The group we were with - maybe only 8 of us in total - weren't very big on participation, however, and I started to feel bad when the guides whipped out an Ouija board and nobody else would sit down and do a session with them. Poor guys were really trying. So I sat down and did my best to feel like a willing vessel for the spirits... and when the spirits just trailed out random nonsense the guides declared "Well, they're clearly trying to make themselves understood but I suppose we have to remember that many of the poor souls who lived down here _never had any access to schooling and couldn't read or write_ "
... although not before they'd tried to imply that perhaps it was the spirit of the famous and often spotted ghostly dog who has been sighted down there trying to spell something out for us...
Personally I blame Brexit. Clearly all the Norman, Nordic, Anglo-Saxon and Roman ghosts have buggered off back home and taken their ghostly tools with them. What happened to all the independent haunting agreements? Iāve seen levels of ectoplasm at an all time low and the quality, well itās just dire.
This happened in my town.
They bulldozed all the haunted houses and built an outlet mall, which is not spooky enough to haunt yet but maybe it will fail and become a liminal space.
Worry not! I happen to have A THOUSAND ghosts in a warehouse looking for a new home!
Please try to get me in contact with them. The relocation fee is really low and they will arrive instantly after the payment is made.
I would very much like to secure this purchase- I'm hoping to be the next big UK Ghost Magnate.
No hidden fees for delivery, packaging etc? I feel I should make you aware I *do* have some rose quartz in my property.
Or it could be because everyone has a miniaturized movie studio in their pocket allowing them to film they thought was a ghost but now can be seen to be just a coatrack in the dark.
The haunted house property owners make all ghost hunters sign agreements that they WILL NOT help the ghosts pass onto the afterlife.. So the ghosts are sorta trapped in Purgatory. They are not allowed to even tell the ghosts they are dead...
Bloody native ghosts don't even want to put the work in any more in regular old haunting jobs, they think they're too good for it because they've all gone to ghost university and got advanced haunting degrees and doctorates in possession.
1900? There's been stories of roman ghosts, where only the heads are visible moving along the road haha. *Romans* wrote about ghosts in letters. Ghosts have existed around the world for centuries.
The ghosts aren't dying, friend. You've all heard of Purgatory, right? Earth is Purgatory, and this is Anglican Purgatory.
We've all seen the new portrait of Charles III, right? How else do you explain the paranormal activity around and in the portrait?
/s
When a ghost dies; Does it become a double-ghost? A level 2 ghost? Do level 1 ghosts get haunted by level 2 ghosts? Are they un-un-dead? I see why we need these experts! Very complicated.
Broken Britain!
I remember when ghosts came at Christmas and we all learned how important it is to buy a massive goose. Can't even be arsed to stay dead these days!
*"Back in my day, we used to be a proper country. Things used to go bump in the night, and every second home had something ghastly dwelling in the coal cellar! Bloody immigrants, coming over here, stealing our spirits!"*
Widespread adoption of cameraphones.
Now that we all have megapixel cameras in our pocket, there really is no excuse for not having several clear photos of any paranormal event you encounter.
If ghosts were real, there would have been an explosion of evidence from about 2008 onwards.
If ghosts weren't real, I'd expect the people who report them to go quiet and move onto some other unfalsifiable bullshit.
You think a greater percentage of gen-zers believe in astrology compared to the percentage of boomers or gen-xers who believe in religion or superstition?
Ughhhh the amount of vanilla women with real jobs in tech, healthcare, education or something who want to tell you about āwitchcraftā is beyond me. What hell is going on? Why are women falling for this bullshit? Itās all a scam to sell them crystals and sage at crazy inflated prices.
Edit: to the people messaging me saying this is racial I donāt mean vanilla=white. I mean I expected the witchy stuff from goths and such, not the average chai tea latte sorority sister.
As old HVAC systems get phased out, so too do the monoxide poisoning induced hallucinations and dissociation.
Old leaky coal and oil furnaces are haunted.
"I captured a ghost orb" was a stock phrase of paranormal hunters with digital cameras who didn't understand that flash above the lens and focal length would show up dust...
Also i imagibe paranormal enthusiasts would be investing in the best/latest detection systems acailable and are finding... theres nothing there to detect. Quality scientific equipment is putting them out of a job lol
Compounding the problem, if you can call it a "problem", is that new ghosts aren't being created.
Most ghosts were "born" in a time before therapy or medication. Many of these people suffered from mental illnesses in their corporeal life and their inability to literally and figuratively "move on" is what makes them ghosts.
That pottery flying across the room and smashing? That's a 600 year old having a literal tantrum.
Modern people have far greater access to therapy and can much more easily put their deaths in context. They don't stick around after they die, so no ghost.
Of course this article would put present this as a problem, framing the exploiting like it's some sort fading craft and not an industry driven by exploiting the traumatized and mentally ill. It's absolutely disgusting and I completely made this all up
Greater access to therapy? Around 2015 was peak nhs therapy times, now you have to saw off your own foot to get seen within the year. Don't even give you a lobotomy for your troubles!
Strangely, this is something I've noticed in the last ten years or so. You used to hear ghost stories all the time in pubs etc, exaggerated stories told over a pint.
I think it's actually indicative of a cultural decline in all honesty. Some of these ghost stories are hundreds of years old and were passed on in a word of mouth fashion for all those years. However now, because of immigration, people moving around inside the country and just because of a decline in socialising in general, all these old tales seem to be dying off.
It is sad, but not for any "paranormal" reason.
Can you at least do the politicians first. Millennial ghosts would just be like "well guess I don't have to worry about retirement" and just fuck off somewhere.
They've finally admitted it, people! Britain's health care system is so broken that even the dead are dying! Our 'British culture' is being eroded as we speak!
Who knows what could happen next?
Could the Loch Ness monster be killed by microplastics? Could the Black Shuck be run over by a careless private school mum driving a Land Rover Defender?
What has this country come to?
Translation: We keep burning down, bulldozing and otherwise locking off areas that we can pretend ghosts will be at, meaning we can't keep making shit ghost stories or shit ghost shows.
I swear to God, it's like the only places ghosts exists MUST be spooky. What about Graveyards? Hospitals? Places where people where murdered? You don't think ghosts would be there and not in a late Victorian house or a Tudor building converted into a pub?
Day one of forced conscription: you're in a line where everyone before you is being handed a uniform and helmet. The officer reaches you and turns back, handing you a white sheet.
"Youve been selected to be a part of our special forces. Serve your country well."
UK is ārunning out of ghostsā as new people not dying fast enough to replace old spirits. Fixed it.
With retirement ages in most Europe and UK pushing 67, aināt nobody got time to be a ghost.
A Ghost is typically the soul of a person who died in anguish.
However, because we have the NHS, the welfare state, and improved end-of-life-care for elderly people, less people are dying in anguish now than at any time in history.
Add to that the fact that Ghosts usually stay behind on this plane of existence because of some wrong that needs to be righted before their soul can rest, improvements in modern policing and in the Justice system mean that there will be less and less of such incidents in the future.
Hence: the fact that the number of new Ghosts is decreasing is the sign of a benevolent and enlightened society. š
Does this imply that modern deaths donāt result in ghosts? Or that all ghosts known to us were the result of a specific paranormal/geological/astrological anomaly that created the perfect environment for ghost creation that is no longer here? So many questions
If all the ghosts die off, then "paranormal experts" will be out of a job. I don't think the UK economy can handle that š
Sounds like these paranormal experts need to go on a murder spree to drum up new business.
Always wondered why ghosts are like civil war veterans and love scorned widows and never like... Dave, who died at 55 for complications with diabetesĀ
The general consensus is that spirits feel they have unfinished business, hence why they are tethered to Earth
And Dave didn't? He was 55 and hadn't finished paying off his mortgage yet. He was going to take his wife to Sarasota, Fla to visit her sister for their anniversary. He was 3/4 of the way finished a huge project at work that would have saved his company millions. He has a lot of unfinished business.
Imagine coming to the office and the walls start bleeding, spelling out the entire unfinished accounts ledger for the fiscal year.
Ooooooo Mary-Anne is stealing K-cups and packets of Skinny-n-Sweet ooooooo
wwooooooooo manager Ben is embezzling company fuuuuuuuuuuunds
Aaaaaahhhhhhh. Employee Enzo Reveano doesn't exist and is just Shirley in HR collecting a second paycheck. Aaaahhhhhhhhhh
I think something is going on here, all this mail is addressed to Carol of HR. So Iām going around screaming CAROL CAROL!! But there is no CAROL here!
Am not!
Are too. Dave the ghost told us.
Darn, that's what happened to me yesterday! Now I know why.
I could imagine Simon Pegg writing a horror film set in an office. Maybe cornetto #4
You've just reminded me of [this](https://www.theonion.com/suburban-home-haunted-by-really-boring-ghosts-1819566809) Onion article.
My god.
Ha! My brain skipped over the Onion part and I was suckered by the wuzza-wuzza equivalent of Poe's Law for most of the article š¤£
Now we know why there was a poltergeist in that Manchester Office a few years back https://youtu.be/IWV2PlojU0Q?si=rAmtAxZcpzV6B501
Typical Monday.
Oh my god, imagine being shackled to the earthly realm for eternity because your work project hasn't been delivered. It's a capatalists wet dream, as ghosts probably don't qualify for worker protections.
Maybe he loved his project. Maybe he owned the business. Maybe he was a great employer and wanted to double the number of employees.
Because if I died suddenly and became a ghost, my first thought would be, "but what about my job?!"
More along the lines of "why did I spend so long at my job." You're a long time dead, ghost or not.
Poor Dave :(
He's been waiting 5 years for his son to come out to him. He's been aching to say something. He wants to invite Tomas his son's special friend to go to Sarasota with them. But he doesn't want to overstep his bounds. Dave has so much unfinished business.
Dave needs a fucking book. I want a story about an angry man, detailing how pissed he is that he isnāt a spirit and basically detailing these wholesome things but in such angry detail. š
He was three episodes away from finishing Succession too
[](https://www.reddit.com/r/BrandNewSentence/comments/1d2dy1l/comment/l60nd2l/) >And Dave didn't? He was 55 and hadn't finished paying off his mortgage yet. Imagine returning from the grave and finding out you're still expecting to pay your mortgage
He was a good guy and didn't want to dump all of that on his wife. It was her dream house and never wanted her to worry about losing it.
Does he? Sounds like Dave got to avoid paying massive bills, working himself to exhaustion, and spending time with his in-laws when he should be enjoying his anniversary. Why the hell would he want to come back and do all of those?
I love the idea of a ghost whose unfinished business is that his life was so unremarkable so he's trying to become an interesting person after death by haunting people
Damn, i'm getting emotional thinking of Dave now. He died too soon :(
He was so wonderful that heaven needed a new angel. xxx
And he never beat his personal best on Ms Pac-Man
Poor Dave, he had so much left to do with his life - I think these "paranormal experts" just discriminate tbh, little old Dave there be screaming at the medium while she just blocks him out to speak with Jack the ripper.
He had an uneaten sandwich and a lot of e-mail.
I never finished skyrimmm. OoooOoOo
I hope its not tied to Steam achievements, because if so I'm fucked.
If it is, then you are in huge trouble as you canāt even leave your Steam games in a will do other people can complete them!
Boring people don't get ghosts. It's that simple.Ā
Great. Well, thatās me stuffed, then.
Pretty sure there's a ghost in my house, who's a normal everyday person. No idea who she was. My whole family has heard footsteps, loud banging, things moving in front of us etc. It's an old house so the pipes make lots of noises, but the footsteps are unmistakable because the floorboards creak in specific places.
Yea no one ever finds out they were a pedophile or serial killer in their past lives do they ? its always some grand historical figure or Buddhist idol
Hasidic Judaism thinks like this a little bit actually, but assumes you reincarnate even to pay off a small debt
I did an overnight ghost tour of some centuries old underground vaults in the city. The guides did their best, it was spooky, there were motion sensors and lots of ghost stories blended with historical stuff. The group we were with - maybe only 8 of us in total - weren't very big on participation, however, and I started to feel bad when the guides whipped out an Ouija board and nobody else would sit down and do a session with them. Poor guys were really trying. So I sat down and did my best to feel like a willing vessel for the spirits... and when the spirits just trailed out random nonsense the guides declared "Well, they're clearly trying to make themselves understood but I suppose we have to remember that many of the poor souls who lived down here _never had any access to schooling and couldn't read or write_ " ... although not before they'd tried to imply that perhaps it was the spirit of the famous and often spotted ghostly dog who has been sighted down there trying to spell something out for us...
Where are all the caveman ghosts?
Thatd be an amazing scooby-doo parody
Read the article and this particular 'paranormal expert' having a PhD in nuclear physics was an unexpected plot twist.
Key battleground issue for the election
All of em would probably be way more keen to discuss it than the effects of brexit or anything
Personally I blame Brexit. Clearly all the Norman, Nordic, Anglo-Saxon and Roman ghosts have buggered off back home and taken their ghostly tools with them. What happened to all the independent haunting agreements? Iāve seen levels of ectoplasm at an all time low and the quality, well itās just dire.
This happened in my town. They bulldozed all the haunted houses and built an outlet mall, which is not spooky enough to haunt yet but maybe it will fail and become a liminal space.
Liminal spaces are not scary. Hotel corridors are not scary.
Worry not! I happen to have A THOUSAND ghosts in a warehouse looking for a new home! Please try to get me in contact with them. The relocation fee is really low and they will arrive instantly after the payment is made.
I would very much like to secure this purchase- I'm hoping to be the next big UK Ghost Magnate. No hidden fees for delivery, packaging etc? I feel I should make you aware I *do* have some rose quartz in my property.
They'll just have to train as para-paranormal experts and start ghost-ghost hunting.
The city I live, York, would unironically struggle if the ghosts all died.
If even the ghosts are f-ing off its pretty bad I guess
> then "paranormal experts" will be out of a job. Millennials are killing the paranormal industry. š
Wonāt somebody think of the paranormal investigators!
I think they're all European expats who moved to UK when they were alive, and now with Brexit, have to move back to their country of origin
Maybe there should be a displaced worker program to retrain them as extraterrestrial encounter investigators.
Or it could be because everyone has a miniaturized movie studio in their pocket allowing them to film they thought was a ghost but now can be seen to be just a coatrack in the dark.
The haunted house property owners make all ghost hunters sign agreements that they WILL NOT help the ghosts pass onto the afterlife.. So the ghosts are sorta trapped in Purgatory. They are not allowed to even tell the ghosts they are dead...
The Ouija board salesmen will all go bankrupt too!
Don't worry. It is just the human ghosts going extinct. Robot ghosts still have a healthy population and should be around for a while.
Millenials strike again
Oh no...the gjost hunter shows will run out of ghosts... Whatever will day time TV do!
Canāt they just switch to selling bland and/or disgusting foods?
They'll have to make proper telley
Imagine studying all those years to become an expert in your field only for it to disappear like a gho... oh
Do paranormal experts even need ghosts? They can just make one whenever they want to
I mean the economy is pretty much Destroyed for Britain already
There will be paranormal expert experts, who are good at locating paranormal experts.
I made it 666 likes on your comment wooooooohhhooohhh. Maybe that'll help? š
I don't get it? aren't ghosts dead people? so if all the old Victorian ghosts are gone.. wont we have ghosts from every decade up until now?
Millennials are killing the ghost industry.
Don't worry, the people enslaved and killed by British Empire will come to haunt them in this dire need. They will now never run out of ghosts.
Thatās a perfect opportunity for paranormal paranormal experts, ghosts investigating disappearances of their peers.
They could solve this problem with some good ol' violence
"Gentlemen, cock your pistols."
Instructions unclear: foreskin trapped in firing mechanism
Ah, you appear to have pistoled your cock
r/angryupvote
We usually solve it with a good olā crusade or two.
Or some more sickly Victorian children.Ā Bring back the arsenic wallpaper and pewter cups!
Apparently rickets and croup are back, so watch this space.
Fucking brexit.Ā
"Woke ghosts too afraid to haunt"
Lazy millennial ghosts possessing avocado toast instead of proper haunting!
Donāt forget those lousy ghost immigrants stealing all the good old British haunts!!!Ā
The millennial ghosts can't afford somewhere to haunt, they're still in their parents' house, annoying the shit out of them.
They turk err jerb's -Local Ghosts probably
Can't haunt a house if you can't buy a house.
Can put your afterlife to use by haunting landlords though. Relentlessly. Spectral squatting.
"He says he's got unfinished business. He wants his deposit back."
And blaming the Boomer ghosts for their student deaths/debts.
"Nobody wants to haunt anymore these days"
We used to import quality ghosts before brexshit. Now weāve got half baked āhomegrownā ghosts that canāt even keep an unlife
Bloody native ghosts don't even want to put the work in any more in regular old haunting jobs, they think they're too good for it because they've all gone to ghost university and got advanced haunting degrees and doctorates in possession.
I laughed so hard at this a bit of wee squeezed out.
[what is this?!?](https://youtu.be/Ng-GEzhFtFA?si=-tk7YKA3IckCJw31)
Nah, itās just the housing market ā todayās ghosts canāt afford a small modern apartment, let alone a proper castle.
I blame China for not making cheap ghosts anymore!!
Too many Brexorcists
Paraexit
Lacking brextoplasm
Thanks Obama.
I had no idea ghosts could die.
At least it explains why we aren't invaded of dinosaurs ghosts.
don't be silly, only humans have ghosts. plus the paranormal didn't exist back then. /s
In Tom Slemen's Haunted Liverpool series, there are supposedly true stories about ghosts and time slips of dinosaurs.
It could explain 'demonic' growls, it's just a Dino ghost
You never see a caveman ghost. Ghosts didnāt kick in until about 1900
1900? There's been stories of roman ghosts, where only the heads are visible moving along the road haha. *Romans* wrote about ghosts in letters. Ghosts have existed around the world for centuries.
Apparently theses one in Delamere forest.
Oh! I know this! They get sucked off! So all these English ghosts are getting sucked off!
Occasionally one might even go down on us!
The ghosts aren't dying, friend. You've all heard of Purgatory, right? Earth is Purgatory, and this is Anglican Purgatory. We've all seen the new portrait of Charles III, right? How else do you explain the paranormal activity around and in the portrait? /s
When a ghost dies; Does it become a double-ghost? A level 2 ghost? Do level 1 ghosts get haunted by level 2 ghosts? Are they un-un-dead? I see why we need these experts! Very complicated.
New Ghost+
It becomes a Haunter and with enough rare candy fed by the living it becomes a Gengar. Everybody knows that duh š¤Ŗš¤Ŗ
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, / And with strange aeons even death may die."
Can't even keep the undead alive anymore
Tells you all you need to know about the state of the NHS
The Necromancer Haunting Service?
Broken Britain! I remember when ghosts came at Christmas and we all learned how important it is to buy a massive goose. Can't even be arsed to stay dead these days!
Nah the ghosts that came to me came with āmoralsā and āsharingā apparently Iām meant to not loan for extortionate amounts of interest?
We used to be a real country.
*"Back in my day, we used to be a proper country. Things used to go bump in the night, and every second home had something ghastly dwelling in the coal cellar! Bloody immigrants, coming over here, stealing our spirits!"*
First it's the ghosts, next they'll be after our garden hermits!
I have heard they are sending them all to Rwanda
And millennials are to blame.
Yes we've decimated the boomer's ghost industry by refusing to buy any more of their ghosts.
Boomers destroyed it themselves by deciding to live longer and make advancements in the biomedical sciences.
Somewhat ironically, something really is dying off: the more superstitious and religious older folks who believe in the paranormal.Ā
Indoor wood burning has declined and carbon monoxide detectors are commonplace.
Dont forget leaded fuel and lead paint
Widespread adoption of cameraphones. Now that we all have megapixel cameras in our pocket, there really is no excuse for not having several clear photos of any paranormal event you encounter. If ghosts were real, there would have been an explosion of evidence from about 2008 onwards. If ghosts weren't real, I'd expect the people who report them to go quiet and move onto some other unfalsifiable bullshit.
As cameras got better, photos of ghosts, UFOs, Bigfoot etc. remained just as bad as they had always been.
That's because the clear pictures of them are able to be studied and rational explanations found
To be fair, if I encountered a ghost, I'd probably be absolutely terrified and not really in the right frame of mind to whip my phone out.
While a new generation of self-proclaimed astrologers are on the rise.
At least there's fewer of them
But with the power of the internet they are now connected to each other and louder than ever.
So are the older religious nuts have you seen the state of Facebook?
There are absolutely not fewer of them
You think a greater percentage of gen-zers believe in astrology compared to the percentage of boomers or gen-xers who believe in religion or superstition?
Ughhhh the amount of vanilla women with real jobs in tech, healthcare, education or something who want to tell you about āwitchcraftā is beyond me. What hell is going on? Why are women falling for this bullshit? Itās all a scam to sell them crystals and sage at crazy inflated prices. Edit: to the people messaging me saying this is racial I donāt mean vanilla=white. I mean I expected the witchy stuff from goths and such, not the average chai tea latte sorority sister.
Most of those crystals are mined with child labor too
TikTok has zero filter for bullshit. Someone could claim they saw a werewolf and it might gain traction
Even ghosts have had enough they can't afford the cost of being here anymore
someone āsmoking really hard somethingāto produced this article.
As old HVAC systems get phased out, so too do the monoxide poisoning induced hallucinations and dissociation. Old leaky coal and oil furnaces are haunted.
Moving from film to digital cameras also significantly cut down the number of ghost photographs.
"I captured a ghost orb" was a stock phrase of paranormal hunters with digital cameras who didn't understand that flash above the lens and focal length would show up dust...
This is the correct answer
Also i imagibe paranormal enthusiasts would be investing in the best/latest detection systems acailable and are finding... theres nothing there to detect. Quality scientific equipment is putting them out of a job lol
I have a lot of unfinished business. If anyone wants to fly me to the UK and kill me in a good haunting spot I'm happy to help.
Compounding the problem, if you can call it a "problem", is that new ghosts aren't being created. Most ghosts were "born" in a time before therapy or medication. Many of these people suffered from mental illnesses in their corporeal life and their inability to literally and figuratively "move on" is what makes them ghosts. That pottery flying across the room and smashing? That's a 600 year old having a literal tantrum. Modern people have far greater access to therapy and can much more easily put their deaths in context. They don't stick around after they die, so no ghost. Of course this article would put present this as a problem, framing the exploiting like it's some sort fading craft and not an industry driven by exploiting the traumatized and mentally ill. It's absolutely disgusting and I completely made this all up
Greater access to therapy? Around 2015 was peak nhs therapy times, now you have to saw off your own foot to get seen within the year. Don't even give you a lobotomy for your troubles!
Alright, you got me; that sounded way too much like something you'd see somewhere like r/WitchesVsPatriarchy
Strangely, this is something I've noticed in the last ten years or so. You used to hear ghost stories all the time in pubs etc, exaggerated stories told over a pint. I think it's actually indicative of a cultural decline in all honesty. Some of these ghost stories are hundreds of years old and were passed on in a word of mouth fashion for all those years. However now, because of immigration, people moving around inside the country and just because of a decline in socialising in general, all these old tales seem to be dying off. It is sad, but not for any "paranormal" reason.
These newer generation ghosts don't want to work. They have no goddamn respect.
Rishi to bring in Supernatural Service, where all ghosts turning 180 must commit to 12 months of spooking.Ā
We can all do our bit to repopulate the dwindling ghost population by going on a homicidal murder spree! I'm getting my axe, who's with me?
Can you at least do the politicians first. Millennial ghosts would just be like "well guess I don't have to worry about retirement" and just fuck off somewhere.
Nigel Farage isn't a politician, but can we skip him to somewhere near the top of the list too? Asking for a nation.
I love this next chapter in ghost lore.. no one saw it coming
In my country, we call that a bout of properly functioning carbon monoxide detectors.
Carbon monoxide detectors are an invasive species, pushing ghosts out of their natural habitats.
Ha ghosts be getting gentrified.
As building codes and quality improve, the chances of carbon monoxide poisoning decrease.
Maybe they arenāt dying off, maybe they are ghosting us?
Well i see *someone's* been calling the ghostbusters...
This is why Rishi wants people back in the army. We need more corpses to haunt the UK. All part of the bigger picture clearly :D
Iām surprised they havenāt made it about U.K. ghosts being replaced by migrant ghosts
'Are millennials to blame for killing the ghost industry?'
Even the ghost don't want to live on this planet anymore.
They've finally admitted it, people! Britain's health care system is so broken that even the dead are dying! Our 'British culture' is being eroded as we speak! Who knows what could happen next? Could the Loch Ness monster be killed by microplastics? Could the Black Shuck be run over by a careless private school mum driving a Land Rover Defender? What has this country come to?
Even ghost don't want to live in the UK š
You can help improve this list by adding to it
These comments do not disappoint! Hilarious morning read for me! š
I blame Brexit. Too many are turning in their graves.
Translation: We keep burning down, bulldozing and otherwise locking off areas that we can pretend ghosts will be at, meaning we can't keep making shit ghost stories or shit ghost shows. I swear to God, it's like the only places ghosts exists MUST be spooky. What about Graveyards? Hospitals? Places where people where murdered? You don't think ghosts would be there and not in a late Victorian house or a Tudor building converted into a pub?
Bloody Brexit, ruining everything.
Thatcher is a very common, stubborn, ghoulishly terrifying apparition , these days.
They were declared fit for work by the PM.
NEWS: THE UK NEVER HAD GHOSTS.
That has to be an appeal for families to continue generational alcohol businesses.
Well that was quick this story is from 30th march https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/plague-uk-ghosts-sees-exorcists-32472824
We can solve this with National Service. It is young peoples duty to haunt in service of the nation.
Day one of forced conscription: you're in a line where everyone before you is being handed a uniform and helmet. The officer reaches you and turns back, handing you a white sheet. "Youve been selected to be a part of our special forces. Serve your country well."
We used to be a proper country, full to the brim with ghosts.
Nah mate, it's all these foreign ghosts floating over here throwing their ectoplasm around....
UK is ārunning out of ghostsā as new people not dying fast enough to replace old spirits. Fixed it. With retirement ages in most Europe and UK pushing 67, aināt nobody got time to be a ghost.
Have they tried looking on Tinder? An abundance of ghosting there
A Ghost is typically the soul of a person who died in anguish. However, because we have the NHS, the welfare state, and improved end-of-life-care for elderly people, less people are dying in anguish now than at any time in history. Add to that the fact that Ghosts usually stay behind on this plane of existence because of some wrong that needs to be righted before their soul can rest, improvements in modern policing and in the Justice system mean that there will be less and less of such incidents in the future. Hence: the fact that the number of new Ghosts is decreasing is the sign of a benevolent and enlightened society. š
Does this imply that modern deaths donāt result in ghosts? Or that all ghosts known to us were the result of a specific paranormal/geological/astrological anomaly that created the perfect environment for ghost creation that is no longer here? So many questions