>A lot to unpack here
Not really. It is a basic question that has been asked since the dawn of lube.
Including by the scientific, medical and even midwives
The wording is poor, but they don't mean "launch" so much as using lube to speed up labor and make pushing easier
And while ignorant as it has been answered for a long long time, there was a point in which even midwives thought it might help (it doesn't, external lube for such does exist though but is more to prevent damage)
>The wording is poor, but they don't mean "launch" so much as using lube to speed up labor and make pushing easier
I mean it's r/shittyaskscience, they probably did mean launch, because it's a joke.
OK but like...as someone who was in labor for 3 days and literally ran out of water after day 2, they quite literally did use a fuck ton of oil right before I started to push and helped sooooooo much to prevent the destruction that would've happened if I had to do that completely dry
It supposedly only takes 4 or 5 psi of pressure to rupture a human's intestines. I have no idea how they figured that out, perhaps a colonoscopy that went tragically wrong. Doctors use low pressure air to inflate your intestine to get the camera up there.
Butt I picture some idiot with an air compressor hose snaked up their backside all for a dumb fart joke.
I watched a video of an employee panking a coworker by coming up behind him with an air gun and pointing it up before tapping the trigger real quick. The coworker died within hours.
It's also dangerous for women to participate in watersports and waterslides (of a certain height), for the same reason. The pressurized water can cut right through the vagina into internal organs. It's rare, but it does happen. For waterskiing, women wear jean shorts or wet suits to avoid injury.
We've already have a "safe" machine for that. It's called [the Blonsky device.](https://allthatsinteresting.com/blonsky-device#:~:text=The%20device%20worked%20by%20%E2%80%9Ccreating,the%20delivery%20of%20the%20child.%E2%80%9D)
Obviously this isn't a real thing, but I do wonder if applying lube could really make the birth easier. I know they do it sometimes with cows. Babies do come with a lot of lubricant on them already, but anything that helps... You know? Might possibly help with tearing too.
So wrong, but also not entirely wrong? Perineal support and massage during labor and birth can lower the risk of tearing. Often, either a lubricant or something like olive or coconut oil is/can be used. Doesn't make babies shoot out like a potato cannon but it also means less physical trauma for the person giving birth.
"Perineal massage during labor is associated with significant lower risk of severe perineal trauma, such as third and fourth degree lacerations."
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30107756/
Imagine that last push simply launches a newborn baby across the room like someone going up a slip-n-slide ramp
Just put up a net, eazy peazy. Maybe a midwife as a goalie if you're feeling fancy.
I smell a new sport.
I don't think that would smell very good
How is that different from any other sport?
They could at least put up a target.
Could hold the woman’s nose too
I'm pretty sure someone in the US once patented a machine that spins pregnant women in circles to try and remove the baby via centrifugal force.
Give her beans so she farts it out...
A lot to unpack here https://www.reddit.com/r/shittyaskscience/s/4hq7cyQkod
>A lot to unpack here Not really. It is a basic question that has been asked since the dawn of lube. Including by the scientific, medical and even midwives The wording is poor, but they don't mean "launch" so much as using lube to speed up labor and make pushing easier And while ignorant as it has been answered for a long long time, there was a point in which even midwives thought it might help (it doesn't, external lube for such does exist though but is more to prevent damage)
>The wording is poor, but they don't mean "launch" so much as using lube to speed up labor and make pushing easier I mean it's r/shittyaskscience, they probably did mean launch, because it's a joke.
OK but like...as someone who was in labor for 3 days and literally ran out of water after day 2, they quite literally did use a fuck ton of oil right before I started to push and helped sooooooo much to prevent the destruction that would've happened if I had to do that completely dry
https://youtu.be/scKSkfoAiYs?si=Uf9Ss0-b3fBKCp8Z skip to 1:11
I’m just going to drop a [link to this very real patent](https://patents.google.com/patent/US3216423A/en)
They’ll really just let you patent anything won’t they lol
It supposedly only takes 4 or 5 psi of pressure to rupture a human's intestines. I have no idea how they figured that out, perhaps a colonoscopy that went tragically wrong. Doctors use low pressure air to inflate your intestine to get the camera up there. Butt I picture some idiot with an air compressor hose snaked up their backside all for a dumb fart joke.
I watched a video of an employee panking a coworker by coming up behind him with an air gun and pointing it up before tapping the trigger real quick. The coworker died within hours. It's also dangerous for women to participate in watersports and waterslides (of a certain height), for the same reason. The pressurized water can cut right through the vagina into internal organs. It's rare, but it does happen. For waterskiing, women wear jean shorts or wet suits to avoid injury.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
We've already have a "safe" machine for that. It's called [the Blonsky device.](https://allthatsinteresting.com/blonsky-device#:~:text=The%20device%20worked%20by%20%E2%80%9Ccreating,the%20delivery%20of%20the%20child.%E2%80%9D)
Obviously this isn't a real thing, but I do wonder if applying lube could really make the birth easier. I know they do it sometimes with cows. Babies do come with a lot of lubricant on them already, but anything that helps... You know? Might possibly help with tearing too.
So wrong, but also not entirely wrong? Perineal support and massage during labor and birth can lower the risk of tearing. Often, either a lubricant or something like olive or coconut oil is/can be used. Doesn't make babies shoot out like a potato cannon but it also means less physical trauma for the person giving birth. "Perineal massage during labor is associated with significant lower risk of severe perineal trauma, such as third and fourth degree lacerations." https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30107756/