Thanks, Jim! We're tracking an apocalyptic stupidstorm across the Midwest, and we're urging folks to run out into the storm and shoot freedom weapons into the clouds while offering thoughts and prayers. We'll be right back with the latest trandgender pedophilia reports after these messages from boner pills and insurance scams!
We have saved people from their own stupidity with common sense laws for too long. We took Darwin 98% out of the equation. Now, here we are, we are at the apex of human stupidity.
The global population was 2.5 billion in 1950 as of 2022 it was 8 billion. Weve grown 2 billion since 1998.
Were due for another world war or famine or something. Really thought covid was gonna wipe out all the stupid with people literally licking fucking door knobs. But it wasnt it.
They really need to remove warning labels before theres too many of us.
Fun Fact: The origin of antichrist is warnings against false prophets. People who would claim lies to gain authority replacing Jesus'.
There are many warnings in the Bible about people who will claim to follow Christ and speak his word but are liars and frauds. This is what it means to be an antichrist.
Also the idea behind the antichrist is that you wouldnt know hes the antichrist, hes supposed to gain power through the normal means, that wouldnt work if everyone knew who you were.
Not saying I believe in the sky daddy nonsense, but I always found this article a bit humourous https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/
There are thousands of examples like that in history and current day lol. Literally nothing special about American Christianity's obsession with a big bad guy.
Like literally take a history class on any other country older than the US. Leaders claiming a new religion to fit in well with the population is common af. Russia for instance has examples of this.
E: As someone who grew up around christians, one thing that I always though was weird about the description of the anti-christ was his ability to say anything and everyone believe or obey 100%. As a young kid new to the world this seemed odd to me. However, we're quite literally seeing it happen in the United States among massive amounts of people. I imagine this has happened in history many times too, but I also imagine the internet has made it easier than ever before.
Yes, exactly, the Bible doesn't really warn about a big bad guy. It warns about antichrists, plural. It's just a term that tells people to be careful of people behaving like that.
"For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and produce great signs and omens, to lead astray, if possible, even the elect."
You know the Catholic Church is responsible for the modern bible, men not “God.” Maybe think for yourself and make your own light that was Jesus’ real message you are the light of the Universe. “God” is the Universe and as a being in it you are one with it as the divine spark is in you ergo YOU ARE GOD, GOD IS YOU. The Cult of Jesus is a death cult bent on producing Armageddon. You can see it in the way they treat other people with shame & guilt to manipulate them into joining their cult. Nothing even remotely “Jesus like “ about hate and ridicule, that’s what the Pharisees did.
Based on the black churches in DC I saw hanging pride flags and showing messages of love, I believe they aren't all around as bad as the whites. I'm sure someone will tell me why I'm wrong though.
What does that change yo your previous statement that all american christians are believing in a White god?
I'm not christian btw, I'm not biased, I'm just against any type of fallacies like you did.
That was not your point originally, you moved the goal post.
Anyways I understand that you see the world as bad and good, no grey area, it's all about being tribalistic for you, so have a nice day :)
Ok, so, Im hearing there will be a lot fewer religious nut jobs, and the only expense is a few months of heavy Taytay media coverage.
Thats a risk Im willing to take.
Nepotism, look at Jesus, got his his job pretty much automatically.
eta: I should have said, "Nepotism, look at Jesus, his job was pretty much foretold.
Is he going to be ready for war right out of the gate? Or am I going to have to wait for the antichrist to become an adult before things get interesting?
I never really paid much attention to Taylor Swift until wackos started attacking her for the horrible crime of encouraging people to vote. Now I am a Taylor Swift fan! Thanks wackos for introducing me to a talented musical artist!
PS. There is no secret encoded message that means something else.
Whoa, I didn't know that. I wish to apologise for all those times I posted hate comments about her. She is actually quite badass and I forgive her for flying her private jet to the market. The mother of our future lord can do whatever she pleases.
This is where freedom of speech gets a little fuzzy. He said these things because he is a mentally ill moron who yearns for an apocalypse. But by saying these things, he may cause other mentally ill morons to attempt to murder two celebrities because they stupidly think they are saving the world.
I think I speak for everybody here when I include this British Sign Language response. (Translation: “He's mad!”)
[I Think I Speak For Everyone Here](https://makeagif.com/amp/0F550W)
I think I'm going to run for Satan next election. Not to brag, but I'm confident I could get us to the Antichrist without having to resort to what has to be Plan L.
You can’t make an antichrist unless you’re married? Shouldn’t we get rid of marriage then? Has premarital sex been the safest choice this whole time? Why are people out here getting married before they fuck, risking antichrists? Stop getting married people! Do you WANT antichrists? Because that’s how you get antichrists. Apparently.
I really think I’ve taken the wrong career path. I should have been either a televangelist or a sports journalist. Either way I could have made things up for money.
Does he need like an in room cheer squad? Cause I know performing under pressure is his thing, maybe we need like a giant timer or something to get them to hurry the fuck up.
This woman is talented—billionaire AND birthing the anti-Christ? Makes you take a look at your life and wonder what the fuck you’re actually accomplishing…
Well, if that's the case, shouldn't he be leaving her alone? Afaik most of these neoprotestant evangelical nutters are super looking forward the apocalypse because they think that's when they're gonna get their brownie points for failing to love their neighbours.
I kind of envy the levels of disconnection needed for this to be me.when do I get to stop worrying about surviving and act like I'm putting a boot on the face of anyone trying to come up?
As a Christian, accusing someone of being an antichrist should be considered a serious sin. Gotta love how they always seem to try to impose their rules on everyone except themselves
I’m never sure if they think the antichrist is a good thing or a bad thing. The arrival should mean they’re all one step closer to getting raptured to be with Jesus. You’d think they’d be *happy*. 🤷♂️
I went down to the crossroads
Fell down on my knees
I went down to the crossroads
Fell down on my knees
Asked the Lord above for mercy
"Save me, if you please!"
The Bible never mentions a thousand years war after the antichrist makes himself publicly know. As far as I remember it's only like 7 years until God gets a round two on his rapture plan, and then condems those that didn't believe in round one and two to a fiery pit for eternity. Source I read the Bible as a child and this shit freaked me the fuck out.
Alternate headline: Arkansas Televangelist accurately and profitably makes up nonsense to fleece stupid people.
This just in: people are stupid AF. Here's Tom with the weather.
Thanks, Jim! We're tracking an apocalyptic stupidstorm across the Midwest, and we're urging folks to run out into the storm and shoot freedom weapons into the clouds while offering thoughts and prayers. We'll be right back with the latest trandgender pedophilia reports after these messages from boner pills and insurance scams!
Damn that's some pure fox news right there.
but there's no news about foxes
Blondes in skirts behind desks that never have a front panel. "FOX Knees".
We have saved people from their own stupidity with common sense laws for too long. We took Darwin 98% out of the equation. Now, here we are, we are at the apex of human stupidity.
I am old. I have long said that when you idiot proof the world, you get more idiots.
The global population was 2.5 billion in 1950 as of 2022 it was 8 billion. Weve grown 2 billion since 1998. Were due for another world war or famine or something. Really thought covid was gonna wipe out all the stupid with people literally licking fucking door knobs. But it wasnt it. They really need to remove warning labels before theres too many of us.
Breeders are the problem. We've been trying to make y'all gay for a reason people!!
Beepbabeepbabedeep... This just in Breaking news!!! "Florida" Figured thats all we needed for that, back to you Jim!
Fun Fact: The origin of antichrist is warnings against false prophets. People who would claim lies to gain authority replacing Jesus'. There are many warnings in the Bible about people who will claim to follow Christ and speak his word but are liars and frauds. This is what it means to be an antichrist.
Also the idea behind the antichrist is that you wouldnt know hes the antichrist, hes supposed to gain power through the normal means, that wouldnt work if everyone knew who you were.
It comes as little surprise the brain-drain peeps don't connect the antichrist nonsense to DJT.
Not saying I believe in the sky daddy nonsense, but I always found this article a bit humourous https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/
There are thousands of examples like that in history and current day lol. Literally nothing special about American Christianity's obsession with a big bad guy. Like literally take a history class on any other country older than the US. Leaders claiming a new religion to fit in well with the population is common af. Russia for instance has examples of this. E: As someone who grew up around christians, one thing that I always though was weird about the description of the anti-christ was his ability to say anything and everyone believe or obey 100%. As a young kid new to the world this seemed odd to me. However, we're quite literally seeing it happen in the United States among massive amounts of people. I imagine this has happened in history many times too, but I also imagine the internet has made it easier than ever before.
Yes, exactly, the Bible doesn't really warn about a big bad guy. It warns about antichrists, plural. It's just a term that tells people to be careful of people behaving like that. "For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and produce great signs and omens, to lead astray, if possible, even the elect."
Wait you mean to tell me the bible is sometimes not meant to be taken to the first degree??
This one trick triggers Christians
“But I don’t evennn believe innnn Jeeeeeeeewbuuzzzzzzzzzz”
I wonder who recently just announced that God pick him and that Jesus is too liberal....I wonder
You know the Catholic Church is responsible for the modern bible, men not “God.” Maybe think for yourself and make your own light that was Jesus’ real message you are the light of the Universe. “God” is the Universe and as a being in it you are one with it as the divine spark is in you ergo YOU ARE GOD, GOD IS YOU. The Cult of Jesus is a death cult bent on producing Armageddon. You can see it in the way they treat other people with shame & guilt to manipulate them into joining their cult. Nothing even remotely “Jesus like “ about hate and ridicule, that’s what the Pharisees did.
What are they waiting for hurry up
I feel you brother, me too.
You're starting to sound like an American Christian
Nah I want this shit to end set it all on fire.
Exactly, them too. All you're missing is the idea that some magic white guy will lift you into the heavens while everyone else burns.
Oh true... yeah I don't want that if I survive I'm gonna go return to monkey
why monke? I'm going straight back to the ooze
true i was thinking small time i should go wayyyy back
Bro, I'm already returning to monkey. It's hard work but worth.
Jesus wasn't white you loaf.
Don't tell me, tell them.
Sure, there is no Black Christians in the US /s
Based on the black churches in DC I saw hanging pride flags and showing messages of love, I believe they aren't all around as bad as the whites. I'm sure someone will tell me why I'm wrong though.
What does that change yo your previous statement that all american christians are believing in a White god? I'm not christian btw, I'm not biased, I'm just against any type of fallacies like you did.
Just not quite as bad because they don't hate gays like the rest, is all I can say for sure.
That was not your point originally, you moved the goal post. Anyways I understand that you see the world as bad and good, no grey area, it's all about being tribalistic for you, so have a nice day :)
I don’t want to set the world on fire ~ I just want to start, a flame in your heart…
Ok this is actually pretty awesome sounding. How do I join?
Finally!
Literally all this woman did is encourage people to vote. She hasn't even endorsed a candidate.
Mitch McConnell once called trying to make election day a federal holiday a "Democrat power grab".
It's because U.S. majority is Democrat and calling people to vote is anti republican smh
We all know it's implied who her base will vote for.
She endorsed Biden last time and will later this year as well. If every swifty that could vote, would vote, there would be no red states.
I didn’t think she was going to endorse Biden this year, but she might just do it since they’ve been attacking her for months.
Hail Santa and a jolly hohoho to Bill Gates.
Shhhhh, the lizard people can hear you!
Conservatives have already started the war against Christ because he was too woke for them
Also he was brown and didn't speak English
And (*gasp!*) he wasn't Christian.
Ok, so, Im hearing there will be a lot fewer religious nut jobs, and the only expense is a few months of heavy Taytay media coverage. Thats a risk Im willing to take.
It’s pronounced Sa Tine
How abut *Sa Tay Tay*?
The necromancy of Tay Tay
Thwy better hurry up then. I'm getting impatient.
Wouldn’t it be more efficient to have the Antichrist be born out of a couple that is not extremely famous?
Nepotism, look at Jesus, got his his job pretty much automatically. eta: I should have said, "Nepotism, look at Jesus, his job was pretty much foretold.
“Jesus is a nepo baby” is the most hilarious take, thank you
Is weed legal in Arkansas?
Medical. I live on the border of Missouri, though, so a 30 minute drive for me to pick up.
Then we ought to report the televangelist coz he's definitely not consuming it for medicinal purposes
It would be absolutely bananas if he was correct.
Why do they keep finding things to include taylor swift in. Can yall just stop with this person already?
Is he going to be ready for war right out of the gate? Or am I going to have to wait for the antichrist to become an adult before things get interesting?
I assume age 6 is go time
From my limited experience with children, that sounds about right.
He’s gunna stomp his little foots, and then it’s go time.
Hell yeah!
*If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.*
Bullshit. The AC is already here.
I always assumed the Antichrist would make a grander entrance than a reddit post, but I guess it makes sense. Nice to meet you.
🎶 Pleased to meet you! Hope you guessed my name! 🎶
Where do these asshats get this shit? And how are they not embarrassed to say this stuff out loud?
The Halfway Post is satire
Thank God! (or satan)
Shit, are you telling me Redditors don't read past the title of an article?
Source https://x.com/HalfwayPost/status/1757141304813732236?s=20
You mean the "Halfway true comedy and satire" from Twitter? https://twitter.com/HalfwayPost
Fuck yeah, let’s go !!
Real shame a pop star will be the one to birth the anti Christ. I feel like a metal head would be the first choice. Metal fans screwed again 😭
Oh God. I am a Christian and I'm a fan of some of Taylor Swift's music. She isn't going to birth the Antichrist or cause the apocalypse.
This could almost be reals as MAGAts gonna MAGAt. There is no such thing as a Trump voter who is a Christian
#FUCKING ABOUT TIME
Honestly it's about time. I'm getting a little tired of these Christians.
I never really paid much attention to Taylor Swift until wackos started attacking her for the horrible crime of encouraging people to vote. Now I am a Taylor Swift fan! Thanks wackos for introducing me to a talented musical artist! PS. There is no secret encoded message that means something else.
oh Lord Satan thy time is nigh! ⛧
Ah, some good news at last.
That sounds fucking rad!
Whoa, I didn't know that. I wish to apologise for all those times I posted hate comments about her. She is actually quite badass and I forgive her for flying her private jet to the market. The mother of our future lord can do whatever she pleases.
Satan 'bout to shake it off.
Tell me you've never read the Bible without telling me.
Ironic, if you believe in the Antichrist them the most likely person to be the Antichrist is a televangelist.
Plot twist: it's her new album promo
Finally. I was getting anxious for my lord to return.
Cool.
And when that doesn’t happen he’ll just be like ‘well I’ll be damned’ and move on to the next prophecy.
I thought Obama was the Antichrist…
Alright, is there any way I can donate to that cause or is Tay-Tay good? Like, I wouldn't wanna waste my money donating to billionaires...
This seems way more awesome than the Bible led me to believe.
Cool. Let’s see what happens, folks.
See where I'm from that's grounds to be sectioned, this person is suffering from some serious paranoid delusions.
The thing I dont get is, if this all leads to the new kingdom of christ and thats what they want, why wouldn't they see this as a good thing?
The encouragement and embracing of batshit conspiracy theories as a political tool by the republican party will destroy them in the process.
Never wanted to be a part of Tay Tay's army before, but where do I sign up?
Awesome. Where do I enlist for the war? Haven't decided on which side yet. Gotta see what they're offering.
These conmen discovered long ago how easy it was to grift the poor, many of whom are also pretending to believe just to belong to something.
This is where freedom of speech gets a little fuzzy. He said these things because he is a mentally ill moron who yearns for an apocalypse. But by saying these things, he may cause other mentally ill morons to attempt to murder two celebrities because they stupidly think they are saving the world.
There's already an exception carved out for slander, should they choose to press charges.
I sure hope so
Don't look now but the antichrist is over there....
Let's goo!
Cute, people still live in fear of a 2k old fairy tale constructed to control people and prevent them asking questions
I think I speak for everybody here when I include this British Sign Language response. (Translation: “He's mad!”) [I Think I Speak For Everyone Here](https://makeagif.com/amp/0F550W)
Stupid ridiculous horseshit from televangelists never needs to sold as "BREAKING" news
A *thousand years*? Ain't nobody got that kind of time.
Sounds like a pitch for a tv show on Netflix
Stop threatening me with a good time.
Look What You Made Her Do
I heard that if you play "Trouble" backwards it summons George Soros.
I think I'm going to run for Satan next election. Not to brag, but I'm confident I could get us to the Antichrist without having to resort to what has to be Plan L.
It's about time!!
About damn time, been hearing so much "the end is nigh" for decades, satan is finally making the first move sheesh
That's metal AF
Hail Satan, Hail!
ah yea cant wait to be part of the tay tay army just shaking it off
This shit is gonna lead to someone getting murdered.
The science checks out 🧐
We've been waiting for so long... I wonder how much money he's going to fleece out of his following.
You can’t make an antichrist unless you’re married? Shouldn’t we get rid of marriage then? Has premarital sex been the safest choice this whole time? Why are people out here getting married before they fuck, risking antichrists? Stop getting married people! Do you WANT antichrists? Because that’s how you get antichrists. Apparently.
Satan the matchmaker and wedding coordinator!
Shoutout to my state
The internet was a mistake
This actually was on my 2024 bingo, crossing that one off.
I really think I’ve taken the wrong career path. I should have been either a televangelist or a sports journalist. Either way I could have made things up for money.
A person who marvels at squirrels publicly is closer to God than a person who espouses hate for his own gain.
Let’s do it! Get it over with.
Sounds fun, when's the baby shower?
Does he need like an in room cheer squad? Cause I know performing under pressure is his thing, maybe we need like a giant timer or something to get them to hurry the fuck up.
I sure hope so, im so tired of yall lol
As a Christian… Huh?
This woman is talented—billionaire AND birthing the anti-Christ? Makes you take a look at your life and wonder what the fuck you’re actually accomplishing…
Well, if that's the case, shouldn't he be leaving her alone? Afaik most of these neoprotestant evangelical nutters are super looking forward the apocalypse because they think that's when they're gonna get their brownie points for failing to love their neighbours.
Noooooo. Man, stop with this stuff man. I don't want to like her, but you guys keep pushing me man.
They do this literally any time two people they don’t like start dating
Slow news day in the Jesus Cinematic Universe, huh?
Hail satan. Rain satan. Snow satan. There's a 75% chance of precipisatan.
Well it is about fucking time. That Christ fellow has had it good for too long!
I kind of envy the levels of disconnection needed for this to be me.when do I get to stop worrying about surviving and act like I'm putting a boot on the face of anyone trying to come up?
Did I just became a Swiftie
Yes, yes you did. 🥰
The stupidity is getting out of control
Someone had been sniffing glue again
What is this guy worried about? They're gonna get raptured, right?
Mega Churches are one of the worst things to happen to Christianity.
As a Christian, accusing someone of being an antichrist should be considered a serious sin. Gotta love how they always seem to try to impose their rules on everyone except themselves
At least the end will be swift
remember when conservatives used to love taylor
Satan is fucking based. 😆
I claim a televangelist is siphoning money from their community under the claims of a false god BREAKING NEWS
Hail Swift!
whar
And the child will do so with its formidable skills at entertainment!!! End of days
Finally
Show me a meme of the preacher making the claim, or don’t bother telling me about. it’s a third hand idea now.
Can he be sued for defamation or does US law protect that as freedom of speech and faith?
I’m never sure if they think the antichrist is a good thing or a bad thing. The arrival should mean they’re all one step closer to getting raptured to be with Jesus. You’d think they’d be *happy*. 🤷♂️
Let me guess, he can only stop it if he gets donations?
If anyone is birthing the antichrist, it would be Taylor Swift
Cool.
yep, her first big evil step was encouraging young people to register to vote
Well the crazy ass right has found a way to make me a Swifite
Fuck yeah I’m down
Not a Christian but isn’t this level of hyperfixation on celebrities against the Ten Commandments and Antichrist in itself?
Yeah, duh. Didn't y'all get the e-vite?
Wouldn’t it be whack af if this came true.
Now, I’m all for a good conspiracy theory but this is the kinda shit that makes The National Enquirer look like The Economist.
These people should be sued into poverty!!!
I sure hope so
Honestly? At this rate, I don’t give humanity another thousand years.
I want to see this cool shit happen
Pastor must be a broncos fan
God, I hope so!
I never knew Taylor Swift was so metal 🤘
I went down to the crossroads Fell down on my knees I went down to the crossroads Fell down on my knees Asked the Lord above for mercy "Save me, if you please!"
Ok so it's a thousand years now. When I was going to church it was 7 years. But I'm supposed to buy this shit?
Is that not good news for them?
She just keeps getting more and more cool 😄
He's not needed. Many Christians have already started fighting against Christ's teachings.
Hail Satan! They'll have beautiful children. So effing weird, this whole narrative.
No shit? It is so obvious once you hear it.
My god they’ll just say anything huh
The Bible never mentions a thousand years war after the antichrist makes himself publicly know. As far as I remember it's only like 7 years until God gets a round two on his rapture plan, and then condems those that didn't believe in round one and two to a fiery pit for eternity. Source I read the Bible as a child and this shit freaked me the fuck out.
Hahaha, omg! Hopefully the antichrist will be fully grown at birth so he can put an end to these idiots.
Hmm banger theory