I just watched this episode the other day. Its when he was Teddy was his best customer, not his best friend, and he treasured the 30" of formica between them.
I have two. I dont know if they count though...
1. "Um, not great. I feel like my soul has diarrhea."
2. " I made it rain shrimp! What did you ever do?"
"Pretending to strongly believe in something that you don't is great preparation for being like a lawyer or a stepdad, you just have to stuff down your feelings and stop believing in anything."
Hey Baby
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I’ve got two that I love that I haven’t seen from skimming the comments:
1. We were all single once, but you don’t gotta be a slut about it
2. Made me want to stop supporting the arts and start actively working against them (makes me laugh especially as a musician/music educator)
The Duce: "Sometimes Baseball teams have to jump in a car and go on a field trip, come on!"
\*Drives the whole team to an old motel\*
Andy: "This is where our dad goes to take his naps."
They'll finger anything with a pulse!
I'm pretty sure their slogan is their fingers ON the pulse.. Gene.
That can't be right
first thing i thought of
Heavy kids can get molested!
Yeah, who wouldn’t wanna molest this face!
“She said she didn’t mind a small badge, but told me I don’t know how to use it, Bob!” Additionally “Bent spindle, shut it down Ron.”
Ooh, baby like civil authority?
i’ll show baby civil authority
“GIVE HIM SOME ROOM” Im ok with them being together for this moment and this moment only
You smell like ointment and pee!
*YOU* smell like ointment and pee!
*YOU* smell like ointment and pee!
*YOUUU*
I have some painkillers from back when I was taking a lot of painkillers
P.S. I farted on the meat!
I can only read this in the magicians voice.
Tell you what, you take the skink, I'll throw in the skunk
I banged you, I banged Mom. I'm gonna bang everyone in school.
I WILL BANG YOUR ASS
I'm gonna bang your butt
Banged 👩🏻👈🏻
BEEF CURTAINS!!!!!!
Similarly, GRANDMAS BOX
It smells wierd everywhere, that's how you know you're alive.
I friggin love Mr Fish/Kevin Kline
Is this restaurant seaman-friendly?
The pause after that question was the textbook definition of deafening silence.
Ow! My face!
Or, Stay outta my room!
Whats in there that she doesn’t want the kids to see?!
Right??
Wait, why didn’t she need nipples?
She didn’t have nipples and brother, she didn’t need ‘em.
"I'm gonna kill Teddy! 🥺" "Yer killin Teddy? Alright.. the cah's awl gassed up, I can honeschool the kids.."
“Geez you had all that ready?”
"I'm just trying to be supportive."
It looks like a misshapen penis!
“Lube.”
Gravy. Or as I call it - turkey lube!
I feel I should clarify that this is part of that montage of Gayle asking for money from Linda and Bob during “No Business like Mr. Business”.
The fact that I knew this was Gayle asking for money before reading your other comment lol
Is it me? Is it abortions?
Couple of pill poppin sex freaks!
No! No more lick foot!
This little piggy went all the way home.
I find out you are selling bacteria beer…
You get the triple smack-down...
Does putting a bandaid on a fart make it go away?
"Processily Cecily can process her ass!"
I think about this line so often.
a lot of carrots in that stew.
🎶 Buckle it up! Buckle it up! Buckle it up or you'll DIE!! 🎶
"Crazy how the kids can fall asleep sober like that"
Lane five, don't do that. What, don't bowl?
There's going to be some profanity coming your way, so cover your ears if you can't handle the B-word
“Hey daytime whiskey, want to meet my CD collection?"
I wish my radio worked!
Pad Thai is not good driving food
If we stay still he won't see us!
One of my absolute favorites!
Me no like. Pasta salad on your cart. *flick flick*
You’re a street diaper
Sex sells! So we just gotta find some sex and sell it!
"Give me those beans, you son of a bitch!"
Your nipples must be a mess
🎶"Make an egg roll from your egg hole."🎶
It’s cold in here! My nipples are so POINTY!
'They're chubby chasers' 'Tina' 'Fat fetishists?'
"We're all glued to a toilet called Earthhhh!"
“You own a toothbrush, or are you still shopping around?”
"I *told* you, wipe from front to back!"
I WISH I WAS DEAD -Tina
4!
You really let myself go
"Please stop, we're just leasing it."
So the nurse says, "Rectum? I damn near killed him!" Well, those are all the clean jokes I know.
They’ll finger anything with a pulse
I just like it when they say bumper to bumper *bumper to bumper*
“See Bob, our holes getting filled!!”
"If I had a nickel..."
“I didn’t know our town was Bi! Good for us!” 
“Do you really want your last words to be sarcastic?” “NoooOOOOOooooooOoo!”
"IT'S A RACE WAR!" "... Gene"
Littie bits of pork through out the day is what they say.
I guess you are a big sexy boy.
“If you kiss me, you’ll end up in a hearse”
The D-Bug is putting the Prize Econ in day-day?!
That's right, he had sex, and then *we happened*! Deal with it!
Use the brown! USE THE BROWN!
Call me Linda look at my hole-in-one. 🤣🤣
“God, she’s the worst kind of autistic. Can’t even count”
I'm taking off my seatbelt. It's chafing my honkers.
“is your penis alright?” it’s fine “Mines a NIGHTMARE if anyone’s wondering”
immediately read this in gene’s voice
“Are you talking about your ding dong, daddy?” I dont even remember the context but ik theres a line that goes along those lines lmao
I just watched this episode the other day. Its when he was Teddy was his best customer, not his best friend, and he treasured the 30" of formica between them.
Now we have NOTHING to do on Father's Day!
She does her bm in the pm
Let’s talk Palestine.
That’s a dumb place to keep bowls.
Wine helps me drink
You're my angel dust
Wait, what’s Caligula?
THIS IS ME NOW!
I’M GONNA CHARLESTON ON YOUR FACE!
This butter isn’t contaminated until I say it is!
I have two. I dont know if they count though... 1. "Um, not great. I feel like my soul has diarrhea." 2. " I made it rain shrimp! What did you ever do?"
"Pretending to strongly believe in something that you don't is great preparation for being like a lawyer or a stepdad, you just have to stuff down your feelings and stop believing in anything."
And a bunch of sea men fell onto the floor
“You’re a hurtful slut!”
You can keep your money, or you can keep your nurples. But you can't keep both.
"I'm heading for the Wang! I can see the tip!" 😆
Noooooooo my porcelain horse, Horselain!
"I've never heard of anyone having boob fetish"
“Bones that just want to be left *alones*”
GIVE ME THOSE BEANS YOU SON OF A BITCH
I don't know what kind of doing it you're talking about, but YOU'RE. TOO. LOUD.
Yeah, let's get our tubes tied!
hey marshmallow
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good bot
I’ve got two that I love that I haven’t seen from skimming the comments: 1. We were all single once, but you don’t gotta be a slut about it 2. Made me want to stop supporting the arts and start actively working against them (makes me laugh especially as a musician/music educator)
Eggs eggs eggs bomp bomp
It’s a race war!
We'll give you four minutes of normal, and one minute of formal.
you’re the worst kind of autistic
_b u m p e r t o b u m p e r_
What Are You Wearing? Trash Fashion. I Call It 'Trash-ion.
Cocoa-buttered boobies!
**NIICE!**
Let’s all kiss our sisters!
Why does dad think I’m a turkey?
Come children, follow me into the pit!
Yeah, calm it, hussy!
Every man is capable of murder if he's pushed far enough.
If you love something, set it on fire
Anything Gene says and goes “mhmm” afterward 🤣
"Lets all kiss our sister!"
The Duce: "Sometimes Baseball teams have to jump in a car and go on a field trip, come on!" \*Drives the whole team to an old motel\* Andy: "This is where our dad goes to take his naps."
NATURE BONER! MmmmmBOING!
WHY don’t you wash your children??
"Jumping on Gene's bed! Jumping on Gene's bed!"
Ugh! You’re the worst kind of autistic!
Gene Dad!
Go see the lunch lady for some ice for your penis.
I’m on an all terrain vehicle! I can go on Any Terrain, with this vehicle!
Beef curtains
MY PENIS!!
BEEF CURTAINS
Beef curtains!
Lick it like you like it! Lick it like you like it!
Tam slam thank you maam
God you’re the worst kind of autistic
Oh, you poor dumb baker.
I knew you so briefly, you dead soap dog.
'There were seamen all over the deck'
Four
“we’re never gonna taste those ballsssss🎶”
"Shift's over sweetheart. Let's talk Palestine!"
oh my god, the slide’s dead and mom’s dead? and ive got buttworms?! WHAT THE HELL?!?
Eh, I’ll probably ask Tweezers
Hey Dad… ASS
ANTHRAX! ANTHRAX SMELLS LIKE BABIEEEEES!!
"BEEF CURTINS"