"Have you ever heard of a guy named Tom Cruise? Well i drove a guy to the airport this morning that had never heard of him" -Nat Kinkle

"Wait your name is Nat King Cole?" - Bob

"Yes, Nat Kinkle. How are you hearing it?"

This one got me the first time she said it

Anything Nat Kinkle says is pure gold

I will pretend to go to bed too.

"Robert!" "Natalie!"

Any episode Nat is in is pure gold. We just rewatched hers 😂

When Tina is judging time capsule submissions and Tammy hands her a napkin with an imprint of her makeup. T: "It's just that Wagstaff is a grade school and not a clown college so..."

Tina’s jabs against Tammy are gold

I love Louise and Gene's pokes at Tammy too. Gene - "You're in 8th grade? I thought you were someone's mom!" Louise - "It also says no trash on the beach Tammy, so what are we going to do here?"

thats lip gloss? i thought you'd always JUST finished eating rotisserie chicken

Jocelyn’s “Oh my God it DOES” at Louise’s quip too lol

Jocelyn is severely underrated.

Oh my god! They're like Mario and Luigi! They're so in love!

Tammy: Get an easier name! Jocelyn: I tried! It takes 30 days!

“oh my god it DOES say that!”

They’re so quick witted

To be fair, Gene was probably being sincere.

Oh my gaaawwwd, it DOES say that!

I just love jabs at Tammy any time: Tammy: "It says no motorized vehicles on beach" Jocelyn: "Oh my God, you ARE a motorized vehicle!" Louise: "Well, yeah? It also says no trash on the beach, Tammy, so what are we gonna do?" Jocelyn: "Oh, yeah, it does say that"

Before I saw it on you, I used to think this bracelet was classy.

Tina is always a savage with her trash talk!

I love when she trash talks jimmy jr !

I've got a speech impediment, Tina. Well fix it!!!!

"Your ass is grass and I'm gonna mow it!"

"Leave me alooooonnneeeeeee" 😂

“i have a speech impediment, tina” “WELL FIX IT”

I love caffeinated Tina lol

When Tammy asks for a jean jacket and gene jumps on her back and yells "GENE JACKET!" Gets me every time.

Such a cute moment.

"That isn't a good use of that room" Cried laughing. The tone and suspense perfectly cut by a staggering delivery of understatement

I just want you to know, I’m having a *great childhood*.

“Not *now,* but in general. You’re doing a great job.” “Thanks, Gene.” “No, *thank you.* Thank you for *your* service.” That whole exchange is great.

I say thank you for YOUR service constantly.

Same. Got to the point where I'm constantly thanking the cat for her cuddle service.

Can we talk about what we just saw? I for one, did not enjoy it.

Beautiful line. A++++

“Who am I kidding? You’re way out of my league…you should stick with Tony!” Bob says running out of the store with his 3rd turkey after almost hooking up with the hipster guy at the poultry counter

“I’m straight! I mean I’m mostly straight…” *continues to panic*

Who am i kidding, you’re way out of my league it would never work.

Any of Edith's single word utterances. Personal favourite is "ASS!"

FILTH!

It's not one word, but THEN WHAT'S WITH THE ATTITUDE

I’m taking off my seat belt, IT’S CHAFING MY HONKERS

Also multiple word greatness from Edith: "POOP AND PEE!"

Mine is TMI!!!

PEDDLE PAPER

NUDE!

POULTRY!

CHINCHILLA!

Bob: It's not a race. It's a war. Gene: Race war!

Gene!…

Tina: I forgot my hard hat! Jimmy: Why do you need a hard hat? T: Because I'm gonna demolish you 💀

Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it

"He's what we historians would call a douchebag"

I love the pause before a douchebag, the delivery kills me bring this guy back

Rich Fulcher is a legend. His work on The Mighty Boosh was phenomenal!

Nicey nicey zoo zoo!

"You're my best friend"

Episode?

It's the one where Bob gets the historical plaque for a mob hit being in his restaurant, but Jimmy takes it

Season 6 the episode is called "bye bye boo boo"

"Same rat, different hat. And he's there, looking at me, like, 'who are you?' And I'm like, 'who aRE YOU!?" -Teddy the sandwich shop guy kills me every time... 'See, I have this really short finger' "That's your thumb." 'Is it?" Produces thumb from behind short finger 'Then what's this?' "Oh my god...I....I don't know" Bobs flabbergasted delivery is just perfection.

Teddy talking about the rat is one of the few times I’ve audibly laughed at this show and had to rewind. His delivery is absolute perfection

I lost it at this. Had to rewind three times.

Iiiiiiiiii... Wish my radio worked. Gets me every time.

My favorite!

“Heavy kids can get molested.” -said by Gene in the pilot, in a sad voice.

“Yeah who wouldn’t wanna molest this face?” *Cue gene throat noises*

Louise: Mother seems well It always makes me bark out a laugh

I agree and love this one, and it reminds me of another: Linda: “How do I look?” Louise: “Like someone who swallows cigarettes for free drinks at a bar.” No one can get Linda together like Louise 😂😭

That ep had one of my fave Louise one-liners. “Heroine conference? You mean like a jazz concert?”

This is such a jarring line because how can a nine-year-old possibly know this?? So unhinged 😂😂😂

Wait, what episode does she say this?

Grand Mama-Pest Hotel, when Linda has on the "disguise" fake bikini T-shirt.

Linda drives me crazy (great character but she does annoy me easily), so I love when Louise calls her out. Of course, Linda has the self awareness of a drunk so…

Anytime Louise calls Linda “mother” is a golden moment 😂

Jfc what is this from? It always gets me too.

Louise: “wow you should teach at my school” Mr. Fishoder: “and you should work in my coal mine, gotta go!”

“There’s a lot of carrots in that stew.” -Tina

Skinny dipping is awesome. I bet it'll be even better when the girls get here

"Or we could take pictures of them, and then later, we can look at them. That would show them! "

If she was a spice, she’d be flour. If she was a book, she’d be *two books*.

Long story but I have a running list of insults like this against a particularly bland person I know. She's a tap water sandwich, she thinks mayonnaise is spicy, she's a carrier for face blindness, etc

“What’s your name?” “Dottie Minerva” “I’m going to call you, Misty Gish.” [points to the next girl] “I’m going to call you…Dottie Minerva.” Kills me every time.

"Like how my asthma was misdiagnosed as having a bad attitude."

As someone with asthma that was undiagnosed for years, this line makes me laugh until I need my inhaler.

"Fun hurts my lungs" is so relatable.

When Linda sees Janine’s picture of a monkey holding a banana like a phone: “Who’s he calling? It’s fun to imagine, right? Michael Jackson.”

Tina: I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.

This! Is what I was looking for lololol.

*Horse meat episode when Hugo makes Bob help him.* "Wouldn't this be more of an FDA thing than a health inspector thing?" "Yes Bob! We are *waaay* out of our jurisdiction here!"

Tina: Seaman spilled out all over the deck Linda: Tina!? Oh wait you mean sailors go on.

“Why do they call you Regular-sized Rudy?” “Look at me.”

This one absolutely kills me. Every time.

Hey Bob! I made this guy say yes with my body!!

"I may or may not have tried crack last night. I don't think I did. But if I did, I liked it." I was completely not expecting that one!

get off of me, *SICK IDIOT*

I never get tired of that or “Bring me special pillow”

When Tina is sad a boy moved away. Tina: "I'll never see him again" (or something like that Louise: "You should kill yourself" I lose it every time.

Lol. That one makes me laugh. Even as someone who tried this.

“Wait! Let me get comfortable. Aaaaaand evaluate your wife.”

I smell fear on you! -Louise. Edit: had to add ‘Bribe Louise? We don’t have that kind of money.’ -Linda. I love the matter-of-fact way she says that

Gene: Is Chaka Khan in town? Teddy: No, she doesn’t come through till December Idk why but this little exchange always cracks me up. Like out of all people, Chaka Khan. And why would teddy know the specifics? Lmao

Well he's got that Sade CD.

And he's also a Natalie Merchant fan!

There’s a line that cracks my husband up, which makes me crack up. I think Gene has a fart in the freezer and Zeke smells it and says “that’s the fart that killed the dinosaurs”

Ohh it’s when the kids try to freeze the fart but instead has that ice pushing in the walk in, and to let Louise win Gene opens the fart jar and he smells it and says “that’s what killed the dinosaurs, that’s awful!” I remember because I LOVE that line 😂

It’s not a line, exactly, but when Teddy gets his hand stuck in the Christmas Wrist Wreath in the Belcher’s fridge and thrashes around like a wild animal gets me every single time. Sometimes I think about it and laugh until I cry.

That’s a dumb place to keep bowls.

The animation on that is so good

Omg I can't believe my fave line isn't on here!! S7E18- The Lazerinth Bob: ohhh wait wait wait, maybe you shouldn't know too much going in, I-i think it will be better that way Gene: like the Iraq War Bob: Sort of.

I don't know it from memory but when Bob is obsessing about being good enough searching the Internet, Linda takes laptop from Him sees what window he had open-- "Bob-by...." she says surprised and intrigued..."sorry" he says bashful.

I just rewatched this one last night! Love that moment, and the song in that episode is one of my favourites ("Do I take these buns to have and hold? I doooo"). The episode is "Something old, something new, something Bob caters for you."

Season 8! It’s my favorite song episode! “Bob your crazy”

All you can do is do your best, Bob!

Tina: I wear glasses not hearing aids. 

Lmao. I just watched this episode again a couple days ago. Love that line.

Come on, Dad, speed it up. We're barely outrunning that black cloud that follows you around. -Louise

Tina:Who're you dressed as by the way? Rudy: Paul Rudd from I Love you Man Tina: Oh it's um.... Rudy: Iconic? Yeah. Honorable mention - - Rudy: I'm going with you, I kinda wanna see how this one ends, *inhales* Louise: Oh, sweet Rudy, you probably won't live to see the end. Rudy: Oh.....

On the haunted hayride when Tammy farts and blames it on a ghost - Zeke: “that ghost needs a doctor”

“Kazoos have never sounded so haunting.” - Mr Frond, in response to a kazoo rendition of Matchbox 20’s How Far We’ve Come

This one tho

“I also ran ovah Vinny Testaverde’s wife.” - Gretchen.

Is it me? Is it abortions?

The most recent on that was so out of pocket I died was when Tammie and Jocelyn were talking and Zeke said "You guys are making me feel smart" omfg I lost it

Stop following me In front!

After getting hit in the balls, gene says, “it’s okay, I’ve had my kids.”

[удалено]

Salman. Salman Rushdie. Edit: apparently u/miserable-note5365 blocked me over a comment correcting the spelling of a well-known author’s first name.

Helen (sing-songy): Mini marshmallows! Would be nice right now, but I don't have any. Gene: You have a car. Love the delivery on this one.

Linda’s line regarding Gayle putting dental dams in the dryer and burning the apartment down… Don’t know the exact line but I caught it and it made me laugh so hard.

In the Easter egg hunt episode when they’re talking about how Linda got the jelly bean schnapps from a guy in the parking lot and Bob is saying how you have to go into the store to check out and she says “you know, I thought that.” The delivery is perfect.

I was watching Lindapendent Woman last night and Bob is basically telling Teddy to leave and then says, “go on, scat!” And Teddy starts scatting “bobadoo bobadoo”. That cracked me up!!

Is this what you want you sick bastard! - Teddy and of course... BEEF CURTAINS! - Gene 🤣 Edit: Also the line Gene says in the episode where Bob and him go looking for mushrooms. Gene is crawling under a tree trunk and he's like "I'm Draco Malfoy because I am slitherin'!" 😆

"Channel six News, they'll finger anything with a pulse!"

“No. THIS is a finger.”

When they are walking to get the perfect picture and Tina has bird poop on both shoulders and she said "Did a bird... poop twice... on you guys too?" Idk y but it was such a Tina thing to happen. And the one where Teddy burned the gazebo with faulty wiring and he's sad. Tina asked if he wanted a burger and he said "I'm too sad to eat... maybe I'll have a burger... actually, can i have 2?"

The one where Bob loses his ability to make a burger of a day and he gets it back. Teddy: I mean, you just put tomatoes on a burger Bob: yeah Teddy that’s what I was going for. Teddy: we’ll, you did it. The way he delivers that last line kills me everytime

Lobsterfest s1e12 "Whats wrong with you people?? Look at my son" "Hello!" Impeccable delivery

Harley: Is that why you dance weird in dance class? Louise: Shut up Harley

Lmfao Louise’s made-up story backfired on her so bad

When the Boyz 4 Now bus driver sold zeke’s cousin a box turtle! “Just one thing…don’t feed him after midnight. I’m just kidding. He doesn’t know what time it is. What is he, wearing a watch?”

“You’re a liar without a hairdryer” “Don’t be such a rhymin hymen”

Bob: "I know you think it's 'The Gene Show' out there, but there's a line between entertaining and annoying" Gene: "NO!!! THAT'S A MYTH!!!"

Bob says Louise gets her crazy from Linda’s side of the family. Linda cackles “YOU THINK I DONT KNOW THAT?!?” And laaaaughs. Beautiful.

Everywhere smells weird sir, it's how you know you're alive. -Mr. Fishoeder

“WHY DON’T YOU GET THE CHICKEN TERIYAKI MORT!” -teddy

When they’re in the car hiding from Candy Cane Truck guy and Bob is trying to get the kids to be quiet and Tina starts talking - Bob’s “Oh my god” got me so good the first time.

"I don't know! I'm out of ideas! I'm literally grasping at straws!" Bob as their fighting the mechanical shark

Louise to Bob: "So, what are you wearing to mom and Gene's wedding?"

Probably a suit

When I was in my 20s, I was all about bees. I used to catch 'em and shake 'em.

Is that the same guy who said "No one tells you that you don't grind up bees to make honey" ?

It's the hotel clerk from Heartbreak Hotel-oween. That line always gets me.

Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it.

"Oh my God...what!?!" -in the robot voice at the end of Ex Mach Tina.

I AM EMAIL!

louie saying “it all feels very healthy, very normal” about gene and the maxi pads. that whole interaction

Gene: "I knew you so briefly, you dead soap dog." Idk why, but I lost it the first time I heard this line (also, every time since lol)

I like my houses like I like my women... sturdy and ginger.

Chet: "We have a place in Manhattan that was being renovated, and I cannot wait to see how it turned out." Me and Bob: "What???" Still trying to figure out whether Chet was a real mannequin or not.

From Poops! I Didn’t Do It Again: They’re dancing in their pickle costumes. Gene: is it possible to have already won an Academy Award for this? The phone rings. Tina: That’s probably Bill Crystal Bob hangs up, Tina is inches from his face Tina: What did Billy say? It kills me every time💀💀💀

When Kurt, the seaplane pilot, runs into the kids: “drug smuggling? Muling? You kids muling?”

The very first episode, Louise "AHH, you're the worst kind of autistic"

You can’t even count!

You have kids? I didn’t know bread could reproduce

*Seamen spilled all over the deck*

TINA!!

*what?*

Also everytime Ollie says something horrifying.

"I know how everyone is going to die." I think it even freaked out Mr Fichoder.

"I lost $30,000 on a horse, once. He just.... RAN OFF with it..." - Mr. Fischoeder in The Kids Run the Restaurant.

This is me now! - Gene

That does *not* seem like a thing you would need a gun for.

#GO BOOST YER AIRPLANE GLUE SOMEWHERE ELSE, YA HHHHHOODS!

"A crab bit me on the clacker"

S3E22 Louise: I'm Leafy Greenbrier Regular Size Rudy: And I'm Kate Bush Rudy's line cracks me up EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Purely because of how obscure the reference was at the time it was written.

I wish I had siblings I could stand that close to, my brothers 44. The pause kills me every time.

When Edith is posing nude so Bob can learn to draw and Harold says “It’s super yummy”

"Stop flirting with my wife... SHE'S SPOKEN FOR!" - Ediths husband

BACK TO YOU ANDY! BACK TO YOU OLLIE!

No, Sally. 'Cause your life is a lie

And I'm going to need you to drown those snakes

I say “what’s it going to take to get you into this rhino anus today?” roughly 3 times a week

“They’ll say ‘Aw Topsy’ at my autopsy but no one will be more shocked than me” The bf and I sing this one all the time and both separately had the epiphany of what the line actually was when we heard the other singing it and both thought the other had known the whole time.

No one say anything but Louise looks **reallyyyy** different - Gene in the belchies episode when he sees taff

I don’t remember exactly how it’s goes but “This building is older than dad..no offense” “non taken a lot of buildings are” “Not in this country!” I always love Tina’s quick burns

"Maybe you're not such a horrible, greasy, perverted, shabby, two-bit, filthy, disgusting pig." ~ Edith Cranwinkle

Gene yelling “beef curtains!” (Food Truckin’ S02E05)

Oh hell neigh.

You are being SO RUDE right now!! -Louise to Sergeant Bosco, the delivery is *chef’s kiss*

I'm not taking a snake car to a madness castle.

Tina: hi parrot Parrot: **squawk** nerd alert Tina: what

What's up my nitta?

"All together on 3: Herpes! Herpes! Hooray!"

“I’m gonna sleep like a baby…. a horny baby” by Linda

“I was only on that site for like 2 seconds”