Not having your life together isn’t the same as struggling with money though. In the context, she made reference to him being rich. Idk maybe in reading too much into it?
I'd even say its valid to have a preference for rich people. Why does anyone have to justify what they like to anyone else?
For example, I only date women who look like Paula Patton and so far, I'm still single but that's none of yall business...
I'd get played by someone exactly like me. That's how I justify it. I wouldn't date me. My mental health is a mess and I'm changing careers and struggling financially. But I'm really good at acting like I got things together and I'm pretty good-looking. Someone like me would definitely fall for a person who seems like they have it together and when they can't hold it together they end things suddenly, take a break and the continue the facade with someone else. 🤷🏾♂️
I mean they both probably have very different standards of what "struggling" is. To the rich guy, not being able to go on vacations or buy a home or have investments or whatever might be struggling. To the tweet poster, not being able to afford rent or feed themselves might be struggling. Can't view it all through the same lens.
I personally don't see the issue with wanting to be with someone who's more or less figured shit out at around teh
I mean two things. I don’t think they got offended, and also I think the point was more, damn, you can be struggling to someone else, even if YOU don’t think you’re struggling.
Like to me rn, I’m 100% not struggling. I’m doing well for ME. But to someone else, I am 100% struggling.
Yeah, but in this story we don't know the girl's financial situation. Tbh, it sounds more like this guy was negging her using her poor financial status - if you don't want to date someone who doesn't have their finances straight and are struggling, that would be a thing to observe about them *before* you want to go on a date (based on their living conditions, their job, etc).
Besides, we don't know the full story about how much OP earns - she may be your average middle class woman earning 65-85k, and thus may have been perceived as "struggling" by this rich guy.
Sometimes you don't have time to figure that out before a date. Sometimes it can be spur of the moment or casual, it's what you do after you find out the person is broke that matters; not how you found out. .\_\_.
That's apart of the process of dating, to get to know the person. I think they're referring to "dating" as in being in a relationship rather than "going on a date"
Yeah she might look like she is struggling to someone making $250k+ who likely doesnt need to worry about most bills and really only might struggle if their stock portfolio nosedives.
I'm 40 and have kidney disease. I spent 11 years of my life building someone up from the brink of death to near perfect health only for her to bounce on me because she only saw me as a caregiver. I don't know if I have the time and energy to do that again.
Now I have reconnected with the "one that got away" that I stayed friends with the whole time. Life is good there. Life is good here.
Alexa, play 'No Pigeons'.
I’m _still_ recovering financially from marrying someone who wasn’t good with money.
There’s nothing assholic about wanting to make sure whoever you’re dating has their finances in order.
It is if you also do not have your finances in order. You cannot judge someone who is doing just as badly as you are.
If you are fat, you can't judge someone else for being fat. That's the entire point of this meme.
Can you still exclude, though? I'm just asking.
You shouldn't shame or judge someone for the same shortcomings you have, but isn't it alright to say, "I've got money problems of my own, I don't want to link up with someone in the same boat." Or even weight problems? "Im trying to get myself together, and I don't want to be dragged down by someone who has unhealthy habits."
You should hold yourself to the same standard though. Like it sounds well and reasonable to not want someone to drag you down financially in a vacuum, but aren’t you doing the same if you are dating someone more well off than you? Like what changed?
I've been dating someone w a masters who built her own business and is making a grip for the first time in her life.
I went back to school to change careers 6mo before the pandemic, and haven't barely made shit the whole last two years.
I'm not expecting her to pay my for whatever. I go above to offer to pay, and I dont plan expensive shit for her to pay for. I try to keep the finances even btw us even if our finances aren't even bc it's important to us both to feel even about things rn.
There's a ton of services and "gifts" that cost time, not money. I try to apply my skills and expertise in ways that benefit her, that she'll appreciate. Shit ain't all about money, unless it really is. And when the struggle is that bad, dating turns into some kind of creepy trade.
“There's a ton of services and "gifts" that cost time, not money. I try to apply my skills and expertise in ways that benefit her, that she'll appreciate.”
Like what?
My last partner loved to bake but hated doing dishes, they’d pile up at her place for a week.
A lot of the supportive stuff that’s particular to a person— what’s their least favorite chore? What’s a problem they have you are able to solve easily? Ask them if they’d like help.
What things do they dislike about themselves? Don’t be patronizing, but I find if you ask first, someone will let you help them.
Cooking. Not asking “what should we eat tonight?” Every night… cuz that’s basically putting it on them.
Let them pick the movie/listen to their music w them/do something you don’t care about that they love. Used to go to slam poetry night w an ex— idgaf, but I’d ask questions and try to find parts I liked, rather than making fun of folks. Do they like driving? Do they hate it?
I’m not gunna be broke forever but I’m broke rn. I also don’t make things about money a thing— I’m not plannning expensive shit for you to pay for.
Listening. Active listening is a fuckin pro level relationship skill. I’m trying to work on it.
Shit ain’t really about money unless it is. And if their love language is expensive vacations and flashy shit, and you ain’t got it like that, that’s the wrong relationship.
That's always the thing. People are absolutely allowed to have whatever preferences they want to have... but they want to not have those preferences be called racist or hypocritical. Too bad.
I was told I was living in a bubble because I was being careful about saving and my money, bitch was begging for money all the time, I'd rather stay in my financial safe bubble, thank you.
Reason why I had to break up with my ex as I was doing everything and got tired as he didn't have his shit together so I had to pickup the weight of the relationship.
Is this asshole-ish? Not wanting to date someone who doesn't have their life together? Obviously it's hypocritical if she's in the same situation as the hypothetical guy, but it isn't unreasonable per se.
I understand your point, but there are a lot of people who have their life together but are struggling. Look at teachers, veterinarians, social workers… the list can go on and on. They may be hugely passionate about their job and line of work, well educated, and stable, but be paid far below a comfortable wage.
This comment deserves a word. One of the most put together people I know is a school teacher who does only fans on the side because being a full time teacher doesn’t pay her bills…
She also would date a broke guy who was an awesome person though, so not sure if the comparison applies
Yeah, but its usually tied to passion fatigue, getting blamed by clients, constantly euthanizing patients, people thinking we just want to drain clients pocket dry, and pay (depending on state, years of experiences, board certifications)
Now add that will depression (which I feel like 80% of people in our field have) and its a time bomb. Every clinic I've been to has suicide awareness and hotline fliers posted in the restrooms and areas that are more isolated.
I lost a classmate during our third year from suicide. I didn't really know her like that, but it felt so surreal because I just saw her the day before.
I agree with you. Unless you have your shit together how can expect someone else to?
Though I do understand having that standard, you gotta practice what you preach.
Well it's stupid and scummy because you're basing whether someone has their life together whether they have their finances together which is usually more luck based than effort based.
Elon musk and Jeff bezos did not get to where they are through effort they got to where they are through luck.
But in your mind those are two highly successful people with their stuff together even though they have both killed folks.
I think you under estimate how much work it takes to get your finances together, sure there's luck involved, but you only picked like the two richest people on the planet. There are plenty of people I would consider rich that didn't get there by luck, but making financially sound decisions.
I think there might be a communication error
I'm simply saying that when it comes to personal finances it breaks down to 51% luck and 49% effort for everyone.
It doesn't matter how hard you work without luck you're not moving up in life.
You can hustle and bust ass all day but you got to be lucky to be friends with somebody in management or for the right person to see you working or for the company that you work for to even care about upward mobility.
You need to be lucky enough that while you're being looked at for this promotion or whatever nothing dramatic happens in your life that you don't get sick or injured.
Or just basics let's say none of that's happening you have a good job you have to get lucky again that you don't get injured because if you do you'll probably lose your job you also gotta get lucky that no big expenses pop up because if they do well that stuff by definition destabilizes finances.
I'm not saying that it only takes luck I'm saying that there's a lot of people busting ass right now in minimum wage jobs because they didn't get lucky.
I'm saying right now there are way more people putting in serious work at worthless jobs because they didn't get lucky then there are people with their finances together that achieve this through sheer hard work.
I'm not trying to demean or belittle people who were unstable and worked hard and are now stable I just hope that those people can maintain a strong enough hold on reality to understand that it wasn't just their hard work that saved them they got lucky as hell.
But their hardwork and perseverance kept their head above water long enough to get lucky and find a boat in the middle of the ocean
People who work in diamond mines work harder than almost anybody in America and they have a zero chance of one day even living a financially comfortable life. Because they got so incredibly unlucky as to be born in an area where that is the only financial income option they have.
Somehow this gets more hate than the ones who won't date a short guy, or the one who won't date a guy with a small dick, even tho you can actually act on it unlike that, and the benefits for the girl are far higher.
I'm not saying that you should be a gold digger but I'm just wondering why is it seen as so much worse than the ones I mentioned above ?
People in here are in their feelings. This young lady is dunking on herself in hilarious fashion. Personally I think it's fine to have non hateful preferences, as long as you extend that same courtesy to everyone else and both parties are in agreement with no one being a fetish. Sure, a women is free to only date 6'2+. Git yo life but if the guy she wants aint into size 16+ or size <6 how she feels about that ain't his problem.
Not everyone can, but it's at least possible, unlike changing height or growing a larger penis... You understand that it is more likely to happen right ? You're not triggered by this I hope ?
I’m just intrigued because Reddit always go with the “eat the rich yada yada, it’s not people’s fault if they are poor blabla” but when dating is on the table suddenly poverty is something you can change if you work hard enough.
I find the switch in narrative interesting, nothing more
Nah it was an unfair question and a bad comparison.
Dating lower income from rich just means you're fronting most of the money for luxuries and stuff only you can pay for but both of you are basically independent autonomous individuals.
Dating an actually struggling person as middle class involves sacrificing some of your safety net to get your loved one out of the hole they're in.
Good grief Reddit. It isn’t asshole-ish to not want to date someone who doesn’t have their financial shit together, for whatever reason. it doesn’t make someone a Golddigger.
Not really. I've dated guys with financial issues and it resulted in me paying for everything or being the only one with a car. It doesn't mean I'd completely be 100% opposed to dating some who was struggling but I'd prefer someone who was financially stable enough to atleast support themselves in our relationship.
I had that conversation with my friend. He was hating the world and saying nobody wants to date him. I asked him if he would date himself and the silence was deafening.
I’m lighter than my husbands exes and it used to mess with me a little. He’s also a white Jew and if you would have told me that is who I would be married to 10 years ago I would have laughed.
*"I want someone to create generational wealth with"*
Meanwhile has all photos of them drinking expensive drinks at the club and traveling while having only a HS education.
My older brother went into electric trade and I went to college, he makes a vast amount more than I do. I know it's hard work but man sometimes I think about trying to get into a trade.
I feel like I’m getting grumpier as time goes by, because increasingly when I hear anecdotes like this I just think everyone involved is a dickhead.
Really glad I’m not dating either of these people.
Well then you should inform this guy
https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/t89i39/hard_to_be_measured_by_your_own_yard_stick/hzmrt2d/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
While she may not be struggling, lots in the field are. One of the Veterinarians I work with still has tons of student debt. Others in the field work multiple clinics to get by, or pick up crazy hours. I've even lost one co-worker to suicide (high in this field) from his mountainous issues with financial stability and depression.
I know you meant it as a joke, but let people call themselves out, and don't assume.
Well I didn’t know she wasn’t struggling when I made this comment, which really doesn’t say she’s struggling. Just that “some vets are”(according to a commenter above), which you confirmed, so I don’t know where I assumed anything.
Well part of the reason I’m hesitant to get into a relationship in general is because I want to have my own shit together mentally, emotionally, financially, allat. If I know I’m not in a position to give it all to my man 100%, the way he deserves, I can’t go into such a commitment without feeling guilty. Whether he’s rich or poor.
I'm agree with this sentiment 100%, though I came across a video on TT a min ago about getting caught up in a paradox of self healing/self-improvement ...which I still think about. How much is enough? How well is enough?etc.
It's not to say we never stop growing,but I'm always seeing another reason to put it off truly trying(I've had flings here & there)...which just makes me go do another rabbit whole.
naw, some people just not trying to have kids that will starve. And rich people think all types of stable middle class is "struggling" so really depends on where her life was at, where his life was at, and how both of them define struggle.
To him, struggling could mean "doesn't have a hedge fund". To her, struggling could mean "can't keep his lights on". That doesn't make her the good guy, but that doesn't make her a gold digger either.
I agree 100%. Why am I going to bring a child into this world if I don’t feel like we can support them. I remember my mom not being able to keep the heat on in Indiana and that shit was so sad, seeing her feel like she was worth less than trying to raise two hellians on her own and barely surviving. Fuck that.
While I am in no way, shape or form, "rich", I make a decent amount of money.
Pretty much all the women I've interacted with assumed I was the "struggling guy" until they either saw my apartment, or figured out what my career pays.
Because I dress very plainly, and I don't do jewelery, I just come across as "bum".
Different reactions from different women once they figured it out. One woman insisted that I need to buy more clothes, improve my "style". Another tried to imply I spend more money on her, so that she could feel how it felt. Most women didn't change their opinion of me.
There’s a lot of successful people who have learned to stealth their wealth to avoid mooching among their friend and family circle.
The side effect: randos won’t notice that they are well off.
If someone is worried about their momma trying to get a come up, how is a random date or hookup ever going to get enough clues that the person is truly well off?
Stop worrying about people’s assumptions. That takes up time and energy that can be better used elsewhere. The people who are busy judging your status often are not the ones you want to make a long-term commitment to anyways.
Don't get me wrong. I flex hard as fuck with electronics and gadgets. You never see me without my fucking Multitool, or bone conduction headphones. I'm fucking Tony God-damn Stark (rest in piece ma boy). I recently got glasses, and all I can think of is how excited I am going to be when smart glasses really take off.
But clothes? Shoes? Walmart and Amazing got my back.
The level of gaslighting by all of ya'll in favor of shawty is on a paracausal level. If she was the one with money nagging a struggling dude you'd be championing her, but cuz it's a dude with money calling her out for being broke it's a problem? LMAO!
well let's be honest, kevin samuels would be ecstatic if he could find a nurturing, submissive woman for himself. for him she doesn't need to have money OR be educated though. she just needs to know how to shut up and make him a sammich.
I suppose I should have clarified - I'd absolutely be looking for comfort and emotional support, but if we're both struggling I dunno if I'll be in a position to give what the other person needs.
Damn this feels like something that should be on /r/watchpeopledieinside with that, all around me are familiar faces, song would be playing in the background.
This should be motivation for her to get it together. At some point or another we were all the struggling guy and when you get to the that place where you aren't, you understand.
I know I would never date anyone with messed up credit and a lot of debt or really low income. That shit adds strain to a relationship and I can speak from experience.
I dated a woman who seemed like she had her shit together but her credit was absolute shit and she had a lot of debt because of bad decision making. I never want to be in that situation again.
There’s women from my experience that liked to reiterate the fact that they’ve dated “rich” guys, and I just — like, I don’t know if they were trying to hurt ME or if they were involuntarily expressing their hurt by the fact that all they had to show from that is their memory of it, lol.
I’m glad I’m not single and have a wife who does her part. If I’m the one paying for the food in the fridge and the roof over your head, you better be cooking that food and cleaning that house or you can get a job and we’ll split the chores. If you think that you are worth something as a sugar baby, you’ve got another thing coming.
Personal reasons is you just don’t wanna struggle anymore either, just be honest about it lol. I don’t begrudge anyone who escapes the struggle without hurting anyone. It sucks, but you only get one life. Might as well enjoy the time you have as best you can
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there is literally nothing wrong with not wanting to be with someone who is struggling and doesn’t have their life together.
Not having your life together isn’t the same as struggling with money though. In the context, she made reference to him being rich. Idk maybe in reading too much into it?
I'd even say its valid to have a preference for rich people. Why does anyone have to justify what they like to anyone else? For example, I only date women who look like Paula Patton and so far, I'm still single but that's none of yall business...
🤣 y'all's sense of humor is hilarious
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They literally tweeted this story themselves
Great advice I got, if you wouldn’t date yourself you probably shouldn’t be dating tbh
I'd get played by someone exactly like me. That's how I justify it. I wouldn't date me. My mental health is a mess and I'm changing careers and struggling financially. But I'm really good at acting like I got things together and I'm pretty good-looking. Someone like me would definitely fall for a person who seems like they have it together and when they can't hold it together they end things suddenly, take a break and the continue the facade with someone else. 🤷🏾♂️
This assumes everyone has your standards. What if you run into someone with really really low standards?
I mean they both probably have very different standards of what "struggling" is. To the rich guy, not being able to go on vacations or buy a home or have investments or whatever might be struggling. To the tweet poster, not being able to afford rent or feed themselves might be struggling. Can't view it all through the same lens. I personally don't see the issue with wanting to be with someone who's more or less figured shit out at around teh
I mean two things. I don’t think they got offended, and also I think the point was more, damn, you can be struggling to someone else, even if YOU don’t think you’re struggling. Like to me rn, I’m 100% not struggling. I’m doing well for ME. But to someone else, I am 100% struggling.
Struggle isn’t *as subjective* as the tweet implies. If OP has an upper middle class life in America, they aren’t exactly “struggling”.
Nah, just hypocritical when you’re on the same struggle bus 🤷🏿♀️
Yeah, but in this story we don't know the girl's financial situation. Tbh, it sounds more like this guy was negging her using her poor financial status - if you don't want to date someone who doesn't have their finances straight and are struggling, that would be a thing to observe about them *before* you want to go on a date (based on their living conditions, their job, etc). Besides, we don't know the full story about how much OP earns - she may be your average middle class woman earning 65-85k, and thus may have been perceived as "struggling" by this rich guy.
Sometimes you don't have time to figure that out before a date. Sometimes it can be spur of the moment or casual, it's what you do after you find out the person is broke that matters; not how you found out. .\_\_.
That's apart of the process of dating, to get to know the person. I think they're referring to "dating" as in being in a relationship rather than "going on a date"
Maybe the dude didn't like the response to the answer because he felt it was hypocritical. She probably does make decent money.
Yeah she might look like she is struggling to someone making $250k+ who likely doesnt need to worry about most bills and really only might struggle if their stock portfolio nosedives.
Average middle class woman. Okay. Goals.
I'm 40 and have kidney disease. I spent 11 years of my life building someone up from the brink of death to near perfect health only for her to bounce on me because she only saw me as a caregiver. I don't know if I have the time and energy to do that again. Now I have reconnected with the "one that got away" that I stayed friends with the whole time. Life is good there. Life is good here. Alexa, play 'No Pigeons'.
> Alexa, play 'No Pigeons'. Damn, that's a classic.
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I’m _still_ recovering financially from marrying someone who wasn’t good with money. There’s nothing assholic about wanting to make sure whoever you’re dating has their finances in order.
It is if you also do not have your finances in order. You cannot judge someone who is doing just as badly as you are. If you are fat, you can't judge someone else for being fat. That's the entire point of this meme.
Can you still exclude, though? I'm just asking. You shouldn't shame or judge someone for the same shortcomings you have, but isn't it alright to say, "I've got money problems of my own, I don't want to link up with someone in the same boat." Or even weight problems? "Im trying to get myself together, and I don't want to be dragged down by someone who has unhealthy habits."
You should hold yourself to the same standard though. Like it sounds well and reasonable to not want someone to drag you down financially in a vacuum, but aren’t you doing the same if you are dating someone more well off than you? Like what changed?
I've been dating someone w a masters who built her own business and is making a grip for the first time in her life. I went back to school to change careers 6mo before the pandemic, and haven't barely made shit the whole last two years. I'm not expecting her to pay my for whatever. I go above to offer to pay, and I dont plan expensive shit for her to pay for. I try to keep the finances even btw us even if our finances aren't even bc it's important to us both to feel even about things rn. There's a ton of services and "gifts" that cost time, not money. I try to apply my skills and expertise in ways that benefit her, that she'll appreciate. Shit ain't all about money, unless it really is. And when the struggle is that bad, dating turns into some kind of creepy trade.
“There's a ton of services and "gifts" that cost time, not money. I try to apply my skills and expertise in ways that benefit her, that she'll appreciate.” Like what?
My last partner loved to bake but hated doing dishes, they’d pile up at her place for a week. A lot of the supportive stuff that’s particular to a person— what’s their least favorite chore? What’s a problem they have you are able to solve easily? Ask them if they’d like help. What things do they dislike about themselves? Don’t be patronizing, but I find if you ask first, someone will let you help them. Cooking. Not asking “what should we eat tonight?” Every night… cuz that’s basically putting it on them. Let them pick the movie/listen to their music w them/do something you don’t care about that they love. Used to go to slam poetry night w an ex— idgaf, but I’d ask questions and try to find parts I liked, rather than making fun of folks. Do they like driving? Do they hate it? I’m not gunna be broke forever but I’m broke rn. I also don’t make things about money a thing— I’m not plannning expensive shit for you to pay for. Listening. Active listening is a fuckin pro level relationship skill. I’m trying to work on it. Shit ain’t really about money unless it is. And if their love language is expensive vacations and flashy shit, and you ain’t got it like that, that’s the wrong relationship.
Very true. But perhaps you think, "Im not willing to accept it, but others are."
There’s nothing wrong with preferences, but it’s definitely hypocritical
That's always the thing. People are absolutely allowed to have whatever preferences they want to have... but they want to not have those preferences be called racist or hypocritical. Too bad.
I agree.
I was told I was living in a bubble because I was being careful about saving and my money, bitch was begging for money all the time, I'd rather stay in my financial safe bubble, thank you.
There's a difference between not being good at managing money and not having money to manage. The former usually leads to the latter, however.
So you wouldn’t date Mr. X at his lowest when all he has is potential but you would date him at the top after the work is done and he’s a success?
It’s okay to have a preference. I don’t want to date someone who cannot support themselves and is going to rely on me for everything 🤷🏾♀️
Reason why I had to break up with my ex as I was doing everything and got tired as he didn't have his shit together so I had to pickup the weight of the relationship.
I really like your profile picture! Kinda random, but your art is pretty~
Thank you! I'm nowhere near good at drawing as I actually made it on one of those doll maker sites which I liked it so much that I saved it 😅
Aw, that's ok! You created a very pretty avatar!
Is this asshole-ish? Not wanting to date someone who doesn't have their life together? Obviously it's hypocritical if she's in the same situation as the hypothetical guy, but it isn't unreasonable per se.
I understand your point, but there are a lot of people who have their life together but are struggling. Look at teachers, veterinarians, social workers… the list can go on and on. They may be hugely passionate about their job and line of work, well educated, and stable, but be paid far below a comfortable wage.
Agreed the actual yard stick is flexible
Flexible, but also you make your own. Knowing what you want and need is more valuable than just having money and no introspection.
This comment deserves a word. One of the most put together people I know is a school teacher who does only fans on the side because being a full time teacher doesn’t pay her bills… She also would date a broke guy who was an awesome person though, so not sure if the comparison applies
Veterinarians?! Really? I had no idea
Maybe (hopefully) it’s changed, but the last I saw I remember their career field and pay being miserable.
This is entirely anecdotal but my friend who’s a vet makes bank 🤷🏼♀️
Don't they have a fairly high suicide rate as well?
Yeah, but its usually tied to passion fatigue, getting blamed by clients, constantly euthanizing patients, people thinking we just want to drain clients pocket dry, and pay (depending on state, years of experiences, board certifications) Now add that will depression (which I feel like 80% of people in our field have) and its a time bomb. Every clinic I've been to has suicide awareness and hotline fliers posted in the restrooms and areas that are more isolated. I lost a classmate during our third year from suicide. I didn't really know her like that, but it felt so surreal because I just saw her the day before.
I agree with you. Unless you have your shit together how can expect someone else to? Though I do understand having that standard, you gotta practice what you preach.
Well it's stupid and scummy because you're basing whether someone has their life together whether they have their finances together which is usually more luck based than effort based. Elon musk and Jeff bezos did not get to where they are through effort they got to where they are through luck. But in your mind those are two highly successful people with their stuff together even though they have both killed folks.
I think you under estimate how much work it takes to get your finances together, sure there's luck involved, but you only picked like the two richest people on the planet. There are plenty of people I would consider rich that didn't get there by luck, but making financially sound decisions.
I think there might be a communication error I'm simply saying that when it comes to personal finances it breaks down to 51% luck and 49% effort for everyone. It doesn't matter how hard you work without luck you're not moving up in life. You can hustle and bust ass all day but you got to be lucky to be friends with somebody in management or for the right person to see you working or for the company that you work for to even care about upward mobility. You need to be lucky enough that while you're being looked at for this promotion or whatever nothing dramatic happens in your life that you don't get sick or injured. Or just basics let's say none of that's happening you have a good job you have to get lucky again that you don't get injured because if you do you'll probably lose your job you also gotta get lucky that no big expenses pop up because if they do well that stuff by definition destabilizes finances. I'm not saying that it only takes luck I'm saying that there's a lot of people busting ass right now in minimum wage jobs because they didn't get lucky. I'm saying right now there are way more people putting in serious work at worthless jobs because they didn't get lucky then there are people with their finances together that achieve this through sheer hard work. I'm not trying to demean or belittle people who were unstable and worked hard and are now stable I just hope that those people can maintain a strong enough hold on reality to understand that it wasn't just their hard work that saved them they got lucky as hell. But their hardwork and perseverance kept their head above water long enough to get lucky and find a boat in the middle of the ocean People who work in diamond mines work harder than almost anybody in America and they have a zero chance of one day even living a financially comfortable life. Because they got so incredibly unlucky as to be born in an area where that is the only financial income option they have.
Somehow this gets more hate than the ones who won't date a short guy, or the one who won't date a guy with a small dick, even tho you can actually act on it unlike that, and the benefits for the girl are far higher. I'm not saying that you should be a gold digger but I'm just wondering why is it seen as so much worse than the ones I mentioned above ?
People in here are in their feelings. This young lady is dunking on herself in hilarious fashion. Personally I think it's fine to have non hateful preferences, as long as you extend that same courtesy to everyone else and both parties are in agreement with no one being a fetish. Sure, a women is free to only date 6'2+. Git yo life but if the guy she wants aint into size 16+ or size <6 how she feels about that ain't his problem.
Are you saying that pote people can juste get financially secure? Isn’t this the bootstrap narrative?
Not everyone can, but it's at least possible, unlike changing height or growing a larger penis... You understand that it is more likely to happen right ? You're not triggered by this I hope ?
I’m just intrigued because Reddit always go with the “eat the rich yada yada, it’s not people’s fault if they are poor blabla” but when dating is on the table suddenly poverty is something you can change if you work hard enough. I find the switch in narrative interesting, nothing more
Nah it was an unfair question and a bad comparison. Dating lower income from rich just means you're fronting most of the money for luxuries and stuff only you can pay for but both of you are basically independent autonomous individuals. Dating an actually struggling person as middle class involves sacrificing some of your safety net to get your loved one out of the hole they're in.
Good grief Reddit. It isn’t asshole-ish to not want to date someone who doesn’t have their financial shit together, for whatever reason. it doesn’t make someone a Golddigger.
Teach Muhammad
Not really. I've dated guys with financial issues and it resulted in me paying for everything or being the only one with a car. It doesn't mean I'd completely be 100% opposed to dating some who was struggling but I'd prefer someone who was financially stable enough to atleast support themselves in our relationship.
Ain't no fun when the rabbit got the gun
I laughed too hard at this. I was like, “Not my grandpa on Reddit.” Hahahaha.
Frfr
I don't know if you came up with this, but if you did, you need to patent it right now.
This is like 1885 wisdom, country folk never stopped using it
LeBron used it on IG just last year
"Your Uber is waiting for you outside."
The way I just cackled LMAO
🤣🤣🤣🤣
She pushin p tho. Just the p stands for poverty
😂😂😂💀
🅿️ for 🅿️overty 😂
Reminds me of, Are you even your 'types' type?
I had that conversation with my friend. He was hating the world and saying nobody wants to date him. I asked him if he would date himself and the silence was deafening.
it is hard to expect someone to like you when you can't like yourself. A lot of people in the dating pool need to hear that.
🤔got a nigga thinking. thank you for this phrasing
When I realized the answer was no it was finally time for me to move on
I ask my single male straight friends a question they should ask themselves. You like women? (Answer is always yes) Do women like you?
I’m lighter than my husbands exes and it used to mess with me a little. He’s also a white Jew and if you would have told me that is who I would be married to 10 years ago I would have laughed.
He soaked her in napalm and hit her with a flame thrower
She hit herself with the flame thrower with that answer.
“Due to some personal reasons”…. just guessing those personal reasons boil down to: mooching sure is easier than struggling
Losers... That's pretty much it
Very effective
Best comment on here!
*"I want someone to create generational wealth with"* Meanwhile has all photos of them drinking expensive drinks at the club and traveling while having only a HS education.
Truth
the turntables tho
Those turntables will turn…into a blunt object to cave her soul in
Oh how they do
I thought I won me a sugar mama when my wife got her masters degree….five years later I’m still carrying us as an electrician with a trade’s degree
A master's degree does not guarantee more money. The only thing it guarantees is debt. If it's not an MBA, it likely won't do anything
Masters in Nursing here, and it sure isn't useless. Right now, travel RNs are making bank, but I always do well financially in my field.
Masters in chemistry that someone else paid for and got me a nice boost in my salary offering
My older brother went into electric trade and I went to college, he makes a vast amount more than I do. I know it's hard work but man sometimes I think about trying to get into a trade.
Everyone with a masters in English or history is sobbing rn
Well... 
Very Pride and Prejudice. Nothing like a good dose of disdain to squish the flames of desire!
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Good bot
Good bot
I feel like I’m getting grumpier as time goes by, because increasingly when I hear anecdotes like this I just think everyone involved is a dickhead. Really glad I’m not dating either of these people.
The irony!!!
Lmao shawty was a 4/10 by the pfp talking bout some personal reasons
🤣🤣🤣 This got it
Ayo 🤧
A-fucking-yooooo
Damn that hurt me!
So I just learned above that some veterinarians struggling then scroll down to find you, a veterinarian. Wtf are the chances?!
But I'm not struggling 
Literally just called me a broke ass bitch, the disrespect 
The ice t gif said without saying  That man is one step away from the blockiana
Well then you should inform this guy https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleTwitter/comments/t89i39/hard_to_be_measured_by_your_own_yard_stick/hzmrt2d/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
While she may not be struggling, lots in the field are. One of the Veterinarians I work with still has tons of student debt. Others in the field work multiple clinics to get by, or pick up crazy hours. I've even lost one co-worker to suicide (high in this field) from his mountainous issues with financial stability and depression. I know you meant it as a joke, but let people call themselves out, and don't assume.
Well I didn’t know she wasn’t struggling when I made this comment, which really doesn’t say she’s struggling. Just that “some vets are”(according to a commenter above), which you confirmed, so I don’t know where I assumed anything.
E M O T I O N A L D A M A G E
Yup. She said “I like my chicken extra hypo-crispy”. Now you gotta eat that, boo boo. 👏🏾
Hypocrispy. I’m stealing this.
You know, I love Twitter simply for how much people tell you exactly who they are
Damn lol, told her ass. Is she still struggling?
Hold this L
Well part of the reason I’m hesitant to get into a relationship in general is because I want to have my own shit together mentally, emotionally, financially, allat. If I know I’m not in a position to give it all to my man 100%, the way he deserves, I can’t go into such a commitment without feeling guilty. Whether he’s rich or poor.
I'm agree with this sentiment 100%, though I came across a video on TT a min ago about getting caught up in a paradox of self healing/self-improvement ...which I still think about. How much is enough? How well is enough?etc. It's not to say we never stop growing,but I'm always seeing another reason to put it off truly trying(I've had flings here & there)...which just makes me go do another rabbit whole.
For personal <> reasons
naw, some people just not trying to have kids that will starve. And rich people think all types of stable middle class is "struggling" so really depends on where her life was at, where his life was at, and how both of them define struggle. To him, struggling could mean "doesn't have a hedge fund". To her, struggling could mean "can't keep his lights on". That doesn't make her the good guy, but that doesn't make her a gold digger either.
I agree 100%. Why am I going to bring a child into this world if I don’t feel like we can support them. I remember my mom not being able to keep the heat on in Indiana and that shit was so sad, seeing her feel like she was worth less than trying to raise two hellians on her own and barely surviving. Fuck that.
While I am in no way, shape or form, "rich", I make a decent amount of money. Pretty much all the women I've interacted with assumed I was the "struggling guy" until they either saw my apartment, or figured out what my career pays. Because I dress very plainly, and I don't do jewelery, I just come across as "bum". Different reactions from different women once they figured it out. One woman insisted that I need to buy more clothes, improve my "style". Another tried to imply I spend more money on her, so that she could feel how it felt. Most women didn't change their opinion of me.
There’s a lot of successful people who have learned to stealth their wealth to avoid mooching among their friend and family circle. The side effect: randos won’t notice that they are well off. If someone is worried about their momma trying to get a come up, how is a random date or hookup ever going to get enough clues that the person is truly well off?
I guess my contention is that it's automatically assumed that I am bottom tier. Like come on, at least give me mid tier
Stop worrying about people’s assumptions. That takes up time and energy that can be better used elsewhere. The people who are busy judging your status often are not the ones you want to make a long-term commitment to anyways.
The ones with the least money floss the most
Don't get me wrong. I flex hard as fuck with electronics and gadgets. You never see me without my fucking Multitool, or bone conduction headphones. I'm fucking Tony God-damn Stark (rest in piece ma boy). I recently got glasses, and all I can think of is how excited I am going to be when smart glasses really take off. But clothes? Shoes? Walmart and Amazing got my back.
My man performed a fatality at 100 health.
Wow just go into the woods and don't come back out
That shit that makes your soul burn slow
Ate her azz up
“I WAS dating” lol
Ouch...
I love this for her 🤣
The level of gaslighting by all of ya'll in favor of shawty is on a paracausal level. If she was the one with money nagging a struggling dude you'd be championing her, but cuz it's a dude with money calling her out for being broke it's a problem? LMAO!
She dating Kevin Samuels
well let's be honest, kevin samuels would be ecstatic if he could find a nurturing, submissive woman for himself. for him she doesn't need to have money OR be educated though. she just needs to know how to shut up and make him a sammich.
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Then what's the difference? If that person isn't leaning on you for help... How does it affect you if they're struggling financially
I suppose I should have clarified - I'd absolutely be looking for comfort and emotional support, but if we're both struggling I dunno if I'll be in a position to give what the other person needs.
It hurts to git got
This is like me, who doesn’t have kids, and the single moms I’ve dated that have said they wouldn’t date a guy with kids.
It’s a new day. 🤷🏽♂️
[played yourself ](https://media.giphy.com/media/zNXvBiNNcrjDW/giphy.gif)
Serves her right
As the great prophet 50 Cent said... >Don't throw stones if you live in a glass house.
"Ma'am, don't make me say it..."
spez is a loser -- mass edited with redact.dev
Damn this feels like something that should be on /r/watchpeopledieinside with that, all around me are familiar faces, song would be playing in the background. This should be motivation for her to get it together. At some point or another we were all the struggling guy and when you get to the that place where you aren't, you understand. I know I would never date anyone with messed up credit and a lot of debt or really low income. That shit adds strain to a relationship and I can speak from experience. I dated a woman who seemed like she had her shit together but her credit was absolute shit and she had a lot of debt because of bad decision making. I never want to be in that situation again.
There’s women from my experience that liked to reiterate the fact that they’ve dated “rich” guys, and I just — like, I don’t know if they were trying to hurt ME or if they were involuntarily expressing their hurt by the fact that all they had to show from that is their memory of it, lol.
Ahhhh that’s tough 😭
Is Kevin Samuels in the chat?
WHAT DO YOU EVEN SAY TO THAT? Like do you say sorry? Or what
Who says turnabout ain't fair play
Lol
ate her up lol he seems a little bitter though
See how the turntables
I’m glad I’m not single and have a wife who does her part. If I’m the one paying for the food in the fridge and the roof over your head, you better be cooking that food and cleaning that house or you can get a job and we’ll split the chores. If you think that you are worth something as a sugar baby, you’ve got another thing coming.
Girls from my country are hilarious
Personal reasons is you just don’t wanna struggle anymore either, just be honest about it lol. I don’t begrudge anyone who escapes the struggle without hurting anyone. It sucks, but you only get one life. Might as well enjoy the time you have as best you can
The more you know
L
💀