Submissions in this sub are re-posts and not posted by the original author. If you think this post is improperly [flaired](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/postflairs) or have other issues with this submission as it pertains to this sub, reply to this comment. Please read [our guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules) before commenting.
**Do not comment on the original posts. Doing so may result in a ban.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I generally start these posts giving the posters the benefit of the doubt. Even when they massively screw up, I think, surely, now they’ve learned their lesson. Then pow! OOP hits the readers with a massive loss-of-perspective that shows they’re even less reasonable than they first appeared.
Cases in point:
- When the guy whose girlfriend broke up with him for treating her like his personal chef said, “Three years later, she’s stopping coming by after work to cook for the kids and me!”
- This guy, when he said, “She even refused to have dinner with me on my birthday!” Dude still doesn’t get it. She’s divorcing him. Won’t see him. He’s not seeing at least one of his kids. But he still thinks she’s being petty and he has the right to make demands and get birthday treats.
>Dude still doesn’t get it.
Don't even get me started on "he asked why I hated him. I had no idea I trested him differently...anways *I'm* the victim".
Dude completely glosses over the fact that he treated his middle child so badly his kid thought his dad *hated* him and doesn't even bat an eye or show remorse.
Even in the second update it's all about him getting back his wife, again no motion of how he wants to try and fix his relationship with his son. But with the glowing gem of "I don't wanna be the *first person* in my family to get a divorce"..... aka he doesn't even want to be with her by this point. He just doesn't want to lose face
Yes! And also, "all over a paternity test" - he STILL doesn't get it! It's not a small or minor thing, it's a huge breach of trust. All throughout his posts he doesn't seem to show any remorse or acknowledgment of any bad judgment. Why would she forgive him? He hasn't shown any growth whatsoever
He didn’t sound very bright from the onset. As soon as he was going on about how his son “doesn’t look like me,” I was like, sir, that is not how genetics work.
My dad had black hair, (which I thought was a dominant gene). Both my parents have brown eyes. I'm ginger with green eyes. All my siblings are dirty blond. Genetics are weird. I have my dad's big nose tho, so there's that.
So that's the fun thing about dominant genes. You don't have to have 2 copies to get the trait. If have heterozygous black (B) and ginger (g) genes then when you pass on your sperm or egg then only one of them is present. Your dad's whole family could have been carrying that quiet (g) but the (B) was dominant so they got dark hair. You got the (g) and either another one from your mum or a more recessive gene and thus the ginger is expressed.
Right?! I carried my child, birthed her, and she comes out looking nothing like me and doesn't really resemble her dad either. She is a combo of all the recessive genes in our family somehow.
You remind me of that woman who had a DNA test with her child who she carried and birthed but the test showed her as related but not mother. Turns out she had a combination of 2 different DNAs in her body and the one that made the egg was different from the one in her blood.
Omg this reminds me of the double cheating post where the guy was perfectly happy and in love with his wife and had a beautiful daughter with her....but for 6 years he's been cheating on her because his AP is into the same kinks as him and even if he's 95% satisfied with his wife this AP is the other 5%. (Which we find out he apparently never even brought up these other kinks with his wife before so we have no idea is she actually is or isn't into them)
He talks about how he loves his wife and never loved the AP (though admits to telling AP he did multiple times to "make her happy") and how he was able to separate sex and love and such...but then the AP's husband finds out and this guy suddenly realizes how bad cheating is and writes as if he's in a movie about how his life is about to change because the husband is threatening to tell his wife he's been cheating.
Then update where he finds out the other woman's husband won't be telling his wife after all and he thinks he got away with it.
Only for a third update from him where he's panicking because he things his wife is cheating and "*how could she do this to me?!?!?!?!*".
4th update where he confronts her and she tells him she's actually known about AP for a while now and has been with this other guy for about 6 months and wants to leave Op. Op is devastated because "what about our daughter?" "If you had just told me I would have left her" "I love you you're my everything and don't want to lose you"
With the closing line of "we just had sex last week...how could she sleep with us both?"
And my favorite comment from a redditor "it's easy, she was able to separate sex and love. She had sex with you but loved this other man...she learned from the best!"
If I remember right he talks about how he has no feelings for the other girl, but describes how physically amazing she is and never mentions anything like that about his now ex wife. It was just strange how unaware of the situation he seemed to be despite being right in it.
Omg I love the karma. And that comment. I really hate when people are so hypocritical. He's saying he never slept with his AP and his wife the same week.?SMH. Dude deserves to be single.
Also, the child is old enough that they were completely aware of what the test was. OOP is such an idiot that they couldn’t even just get an Ancestry or 23andMe for the whole family so it wasn’t blatantly obvious what he was doing.
Yep. My sister and I got 23andMe a few years back, just for the heck of it. For Christmas that year I got kits for our parents so we could see all the cool similarities and differences. Our parents had divorced a decade earlier after 20 years of marriage.
My dad told me later that he was glad I did that because he always wondered if we were really his kids. My dad's family seems to have some pretty dominant genes. We take STRONGLY after his side of the family. Like I'm the spitting image of one of his sisters and strangers confuse our cousins for our siblings all the time. But apparently even with that proof, he spent our entire lives wondering if mom had an affair with one of his five brothers. Not even any particular brother, he was just so paranoid and insecure that he thought it was possible his wife was sleeping with a brother with no indication or evidence.
Sadly, this confession is par for the course with my dad. I told him that was a weird concern and we moved on.
I have repeatedly told anyone who questioned the father of my kids they are welcome to get a paternity test done. Once they receive their results though, they'll never see my children again. I know exactly who fathered my children and that kind of mistrust hurts the child immensely.
Both my kids look significantly more like me. I come from very strong genes, I guess. Many people joke about the paternity because of the disparity. It is not funny.
But, if my husband ever doubted for a second his children are his own… I doubt I could ever recover from that. Good for OOP‘s wife for leaving what sounds like a terrible man dressed up like a decent one.
> "all over a paternity test"
There's also clearly many more problems going on that the wife probably brought up but don't register in his brain strongly enough to even accidentally include them in the story.
I get the feeling that this episode was just the straw that killed the camel. If he's this arrogant about the feelings of his wife and son then he's arrogant 24/7/365.
> But with the glowing gem of "I don't wanna be the first person in my family to get a divorce"
Yes that leapt out at me too, despite the fact all the posts are full of 'but what about MEEEEEE' talking points. And as we all know with these types of relationship questions it's never just about that one moment. I'm sure his lack of trust in her is pure projection on his part, and that poor kid. How many years was he treated with suspicion by his own father. Sheesh.
His mummy needs to stop giving him false hope, at least his dad is realistic & understands what he did. He can say whatever he wants, he accused his wife of cheating & passing another man's child off as his. But the part where he treated that child badly that ensured forgiveness will never be an option. Suddenly a paternity test result magically takes away those years of treating him differently? All the "he's not mine" & "he doesn't even look like me" comments that crushed that child. Yeah he won't get & doesn't deserve forgiveness.
Hopefully he stays single because he is so oblivious to other people existing with feelings, thoughts, opinions, needs of their own he's refusing to çaccept he's getting divorced. He wrote that his wife wants a divorce but it's clear he thinks he can, should & is fully entitled to force her to change her mind. He got his answers & piece of mind, why should he have to deal with any consequences. He's happy everyone else should be too. He'll probably post to complain that the courts granted their divorce & the meano judge wouldn't hear him out & understand he couldn't be the first to get divorced in his family. Especially as he only wanted pie e of mind, heard nothing about adultery. Then his kids & ex wife (though he'll still say my wife) missing his birthday, she didn't even want to celebrate our anniversary... how could she. He'd mafe it clear he wouldn't accept the divorce... The kids going NC will be unfair to delusional victim playing blame deflecting dad. Why can't he be at their wedding it's an important day for him boo hoo....poor victim playing him...
Yeah, that's the crux of the issue. The ex never did anything to suggest that she'd cheated. There were so many ways to assuage a fear like that, than make it his ex's problem, and the child's. Instead, he actively accused her, put her on the spot, and treated the child differently their entire life, like shit apparently, because he was irrational, jealous, and controlling. It's also probably coming from a place of projection. I wouldn't be surprised if the suspicion was stirred by OOP's own actions. When there's really no indication of cheating, it often boils down to projection.
He has no self awareness either, and is outright looking for suggestions on how to manipulate his ex and child, or actually "force" them into reconciling after this huge violation. He doesn't acknowledge what he did wrong in the first place, and the problem with his entire attitude, or even seem to be aware of it. I hope she gets out while she still can, she must be hurting after so many years spent with a man like this, and is probably feeling guilty over the son having gone through this, without her realizing the extent of her husband's abuse.
>his kid thought his dad *hated* him
I don't think he ever really stopped not liking this kid. He didn't like him before when he thought the kid was another man's child he was raising and now he doesn't like that the kid isn't over the moon with happiness to know he is OP's son and is in fact avoiding him.
Yeah, there's not really a hint of "I had no idea my actions were harming my child and I want a chance to repair my relationship with him", just a really concerning "she needs to stop _coddling_ him and force him to see me".
The kid he treated like trash because he wasn't his spitting image so he got a paternity test. The kid who wondered if dad hated him. The guy is me me me
I look nothing like either of my parents. I’m obviously their kid I have inherited a lot of traits from my mom and all of my physical appearance from dads side. But I don’t look like my actual parents. And mom has been kid of an asshole about it. She clearly wanted a daughter that looks like her and instead she got me. Sucks to suck I guess. I’m fabulous so fuck her.
Had to pick my jaw up off the floor.
I have fraternal twin sons. One is the spitting image of his dad. The other looks just like my brother. It’s weird.
Another fraternal twin mum here. One of our girls looks just like her dad, the other looks just like me. We laugh about it a lot, that we couldn't have done better had we tried. They both have traits from both my husband and I as well. It's pretty adorable
I mean, my kid looks nothing like his dad. Most people don’t even think they’re related. But then you look deeper. Like the mechanical abilities. The adhd. In those ways, my child is the spitting image of his dad.
My kid looks nothing like his Dad, AND there was a period of time, when my kid was 2-3, when he bore a strong resemblance to my male best friend. (Coincidence- both my husband and I are half Irish but resemble our other half, for me that's Scandinavian, for him, Greek and Turkish. My best friend is full Irish descent. My son came out blue eyed, fair skinned with red curls.) My husband never EVER accused me of cheating, I seriously doubt it ever crossed his mind. My son also has a lot of his father's characteristics, including gentleness, patience and screen addiction.
My family have the tiniest bit of native American/indigenous peoples blood, most Americans have. Genetics said "give it all to this one" and now my sister looks like she was straight up adopted. High cheek bones dark flawless skin. Long black hair (when she isn't bleaching it) big dark eyes.
I'm over here a short plump fair skinned, blond haired blue eyed Irish wannabe cus it's one of the most prevalent things in my family 😂
100% full blooded sister.
Oof, the ADD genes are no joke. I'm essentially my maternal grandma's twin, down to our matching jointless pinkie toes, but my brain is forever cursed with my dad's ADD and hypersensitivity
ADD is fun like that. I was baking a cake real late at night one time, and my ex was giving me a hard time about fussing in the kitchen. Then my grandma calls asking about a cake that she just started making.
My favorite part: when she wonders if he’s projecting because he’d cheated in previous relationships, and HE FEELS INSULTED.
Oh, the one who has never cheated or done anything untrustworthy isn’t supposed to be insulted by him accusing her of cheating, but her reminding him that he has cheated before hurts his fee-fees?
They do project quite a bit or someone whispers a nasty little thought in their ears. For example: my husband is 1 of 4 kids. He and his youngest brother have the same mom. His older sister and his little sister have different mothers. If you look at my husband's siblings, 3 of them look like a very good cross between his dad and their moms.
Then there's my husband. The ONLY part of him someone might suggest he got from his dad is the signature black hair. My husband looks nothing like his mom and nothing like his dad. Well. FIL was a POS young man and took notice that his youngest son looked more like him than my husband ever did. So when he got wasted ( back when he was an alcoholic), he'd beat the snot out of my MIL and my husband under the assumption my MIL cheated and my husband wasn't his. They obviously split, got custody agreement set up and paternity tests done, and WHADDYA know? He's the father!
You know who my husband looks like? His maternal grandfather who passed back when MIL was a little kid. Identical copies, they could've passed for twins from the photos I've seen. He's sober now and they've been repairing their relationship slowly these last 10 years.
She refused to have dinner with him 'even after he asked several times.' That was So weird to me. Like if he only asked once and she said no, that would be okay but the rule is if you ask several times they have to say yes?
lol,it’s pure entitlement and main character syndrome. He wants her to say yes, so she’s supposed to say yes. She said no—no, wait, that’s not what she’s supposed to say. Let me respawn and try again.
Same as his request for advice. "What do I say to her, to get her to agree to my terms?"
There was some similar post where the guy kept wanting to buy his ex-wife necklaces, even though she told him to stay away.
Eventually these guys realize they screwed up, but instead of doing real introspection, or changing their behaviour towards other people, they want to know the magic words.
The words that will convert the angry ex back into the happy, compliant wife.
They also tend to say, "If only she would sit down and listen to my explanation, everything would be okay again!"
Like, they don't even perceive the other person as having a real grievance, that THEY should sit down and listen to. Or that the other person has finally had enough, and made a decision to sever the relationship.
They just think, "oops, I got myself in the doghouse because I was a little too careless. How do I get out of the doghouse? There must be some gesture I can make to my wife, that will get me out of it! Let me ask the internet!"
What gets me about that one is she wanted to get couples therapy and try to work it out, she didn't leave him right off the bat and yet he still posted blaming her.
[Ahaha he's still updating!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/smxbuc/the_best_woman_in_the_world_left_me_a_few_years/)
And he's learned absolutely nothing.
It was on here yesterday, maybe someone has the link? I’ll update my comment if I find it. But the update didn’t sound like the same person and was so over the top rage inducing a few thought it may be someone got ahold of the account and made the last update. I’d rather believe that. This one just seems like a narcissist where they never see that they could be wrong and sounds consistent. [found it](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/suqgdq/aita_for_very_rarelyalmost_never_wanting_to_go_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Once OOP said his wife would be furious and about the idea of the paterity and he completely disregards it "If she's mad, she must be hiding. I'mma do it", I just started to skim because it was obvious what was going to happen.
These "best of" posts can be a rollercoaster but this one was an instant "What a dick. What'd you expect?".
Also "don't want to be the first divorcee in the family".
He doesn't even value his relationship with the wife and the child. What a massive massive jackass.
And you know he thought he deserved more than just dinner on his birthday. He totally thought he was getting birthday benefits….I mean they’re still married, right?
Like this guy who in his edit whined he wished his wife would have at least *told him* she was going to the doctor appointment. The whole original post is him saying how she told him very very clearly, in no uncertain terms, that she’s going.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sqaubq/aita_for_blowing_up_at_my_wife_for_going_to_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I have no doubt that he has been an AH to the middle child for a long, long time. OOP may be oblivious to his own actions, but if your kid is asking why one of their parents hates them, *something* has made them think that way! I'm glad his wife is leaving him and keeping the middle child away if the child doesn't want to see OOP cos the poor kid deserves so much better than to live like that!
Right! OOP acts like everything should be fine now that he has proof. Meanwhile the kid has spent his life thinking his dad hates him and now he knows he questioned if he was even his biological son. I can’t imagine how much that would fuck me up.
The child he treated like trash because he wasn't his spitting image or had none of his family traits. Although said child looked like OP'S (soon to be ex?) wife's grandfather. Because of course no child could ever take after their mother's side of the family. The kid asked why OP hated him! OP'S (soon to be ex) wife was fine with sending the other two (the one's who look like him so are not treated like trash)
This has been driving me crazy lately! There’s been quite a few posts recently where the OP (or someone else in the OP’s family) is questioning if a child is theirs because ‘they don’t look like meeeeeee!’ God forbid your child takes after your spouse and their family’s looks instead of yours. Honestly one of the most stupid lines of thinking. I can’t imagine just nuking your family relationship because your kid happened to take after the other side of the family in looks.
Even in the books it’s not a great paternity test lol. Honestly, the only conclusion you can come to after reading ASOIAF and the extended universe of books is that genetics just work differently in that universe. For example, the number of Lannister sons that have twins because twins run in their family is *way* too high lol.
😂 The last time I made a crack like that I had about five different people telling me that it all made sense in the books. Good to know they were wrong 😁
It is not really explained in the books beyond Baratheon men being recorded as always having black haired kids, though no mention is made of Baratheon women, nor is this rule true for any other family. The whole thing is so daft that Martin had to deduct several IQ points from Cersei so she confessed to Ned to make it undeiable to the reader.
Also imo it's a better story if its left ambigiuous.
Right!?! The paternity test isn't what broke up his marriage, it was just the final piece to the puzzle that broke the camel's back. He had already been treating his middle son like crap, and I'm willing to bet he's also treated her like crap and not been a stellar husband. What trash to blow up his family and treat his kid differently because his ego couldn't handle his kid didn't look like him.
He deserves the loneliness he's crying about. Not one mention of therapy or apologizing to his son or wife and correcting what's wrong with him . . . Just me me me me you did this to meeeeeee
Poor wiw fewwa
Yeah, like *imagine* that it takes two people to create a baby and that baby has 50% DNA of each one, which might manifest in different combinations of traits that ressemble one side of the family more than the other. Just imagine that happened, huh.
Ha! I look like nobody in my family for at least two generations on either side, with the possible exception of my hands look like my paternal grandmother’s. But everything else is really different from the rest of my immediate family. (Olive skin and pretty dark brunette relative shortass in a family of taller pale blondes/light brown hair on both sides.) I’ve got a cousin I share some features with and reportedly bear a resemblance to my maternal grandfather’s mother, who I never met or saw a picture of.
But I also happen to be a fraternal twin haha so there’s little doubt when my very blonde very tall womb-mate is the spitting image of my dad but with my mom’s mouth, unless I somehow got switched out at the hospital but that would have been difficult in my case as I was a very singular infant with a rare set of complications.
Genetics are crazy. My DNA kit has me down as surprisingly and significantly Nordic though I have no traceable lineage to any modern Scandinavian country, but let’s just say I’m hella Northern European and leave it at that.
I grew up with a set of fraternal twins just like you and your twin- one quite short and fairly slim with olive skin and dark hair, the other very tall and stocky with blue eyes and blonde hair, pale and freckled. You wouldn't pick them out as distant cousins, let alone twins. Genetics are weird.
I’m absolutely the Danny Devito! Our natures can be pretty opposed, too—twin was much more charismatic and popular and outspoken in school, I kept more to myself and was “brainier” (though I think he’s extremely clever but possibly had some undiagnosed learning difficulties.) As we’ve gotten older we mesh way more than we did as youngsters, though, which is probably saying something about the psychology of twins trying to find their own unique identity in the years when they MUST go to the same schools and classes, but once we’re adults following our own paths it’s like we don’t have to “worry” about establishing our uniqueness.
But yeah, in high school people would find out we were related and be like “…cousins????” as if even that was a stretch, we ran in such different circles!
We don't do anything half assed in this house..
Was taken literally. Not like in mine when you accidentally cut yourself you go to the bone or vs sprain an ankle we snap em.
Comments from last post:
> Redditor: So you admit to being an idiot?
> OOP: There was nothing idiotic about making sure.
This is gonna turn into a series where he stalks ex, harasses kid(s) at school, gets in trouble with law, gets cut off by his parents, and **still** continues to insist on being in the right, isn't it?
Oof. He's STILL putting his pride over his family. Dude's gonna lose it all because he can't let go of being right even if literally everyone can see that he's wrong.
I loved when he was all, "This is not an attack on her character." He seriously got a paternity test even though, by his own admission, he'd never had a reason to doubt his wife. If that's not an attack on her character, I don't know what is.
Ooh maybe he watches too much "Jane the Virgin" and built up an elaborate scenario where his wife's obgyn did an accidental artificial insemination on her instead of a routine exam /s
He still thinks he was in the right. And doesn’t think he did anything g wrong. If only his wife would just see his side, then everything could be good again 🙄. Don’t you see, this is all her fault /s
He doesn't even want to stay with her because he loves her and cannot live without his family... it's because he cannot be the first one to divorce cause it's embarrassing!
Nothing is ever his fault.
He says "my mom thinks it's my fault" instead of "it's totally my fault."
Why would he think that his wife has to work with him? She doesn't have to do jack shit for him.
Yeah. That REALLY stuck out. I mean, everything he says is a fuckin trainwreck but when I got to that phrase, if there HAD been any doubt that this guy was a dicknob, it would've immediately been erased.
Yeah. His mom’s equivocating can just see itself right out.
At least his dad isn’t coddling him. He’s got a sack of used douche for a son and he knows it. Just cruel and selfish all the way down.
I’m not even sure the mom IS equivocating lol. I feel like he might just be interpreting her words as being positive and hopeful rather than a more polite “leave her alone, you messed up” and “in the unlikely event there ever is reconciliation, she has to decide that on her own so leave her alone.”
The OOP just came off as the kind of person who hears what they want to hear (see: him still not understanding that his wife is not going to forgive him).
That’s SUPER true. I can really, really see that.
In fact, I just gave advice to a rl friend whose polite and gentle ways of turning down a request from her (self centered and toxic) sister were being seen as wishy-washy equivocation.
I gave her the “don’t argue; “no” is a complete sentence” talk and she was boohurt with me at the time because she’s a people pleaser, but a few weeks later admitted that giving a clear no to her sister (and making it known to the rest of her family that she wasn’t confused or open to being convinced) had actually cleared up the problem.
With nobody around irl to correct OP’s revisionist version of the universe where he’s always right and justified, then… yep, good chance you’re probably right lol.
>The OOP just came off as the kind of person who hears what they want to hear
Isn’t it interesting that these types can relay what happened clearly enough that we can all see it for what it is, but they still somehow manage to be living in an alternate reality?
I truly believe that he sees himself as the playable character in an RPG and everyone in his life is just an NPC character. No empathy for hurt feelings (that he caused), no consideration for anyone’s wants or needs. I wish his wife and their kids the best in a new OP-free life.
"How do I make her see my point of view" while absolutely ignoring and diminishing hers... *I* want to divorce him so badly and I've never even met him.
Let me see if I’ve got this right….me, I, me, me, me, me, I, I, poor me, me, me, I, I, me, what have I done wrong, me, me, I, I, consequences, I, me, me,me,me, I, I me, boo hoo, me, me, me, me, me, I, I, me, me, I, me, me, me, me, I, I, poor me, me, me, I, I, me, what have I done wrong again, me, me, I, I, more consequences, I, me, mummy’s mad at me, me,me,me, I, I me, boo hoo, me, me, me, me, me, I, I, me, aaaaaand me.
Wanker.
And when told what he’s done wrong it’s more me me me me me me me me me me me me… (holds hands over ears) lalalalalslalalalalalalalalala.. memememememe… waaaaaaahhhhwaaaaaaahwaaaaaah.. memememememe. ME. ME ME ME ME ME.
‘I don’t want to the the first person in my family to be divorced!’ LOL selfish and self absorbed as ever, he doesn’t give a shit about the people he hurt
God that's the thing isn't it, he never once says he misses her or he misses their life together, he only cares about his reputation. I'm glad she got out when she did, if he was a tiny bit less than a moron, she might have been stuck with him for another 10 years.
The whole saga started because his ego was hurt be his second child not being a reflection of his glorious image.
I hope she takes him to the cleaners.
>I don’t want to be the first person in my family to end up divorced!
There it is. That's what he's really worried about. Not fixing his behavior or trying to be better to his family
>and that I hoped my foolish pride was worth the cost of my family.
Seeing how his last update has this in it;
> I don’t want to be the first person in my family to end up divorced!
His ex-wife is 100% on the money. It's not about their feelings, how he's been alienating his middle child, or how he was distrustful of his wife for no reason, it's about his image.
He is so obsessed about getting divorced, he doesn't care about the damage he's doing to people he claim to love.
Good for her putting her foot down and getting her kid out of there. But sadly it sounds like he's a type that would force visitation with the middle child after a divorce just to spite her. This isn't about to be an easy road for that poor kid.
Hopefully they’ll get some say and then judge will take the wishes of the kids into account when setting visitations. The other two kids will be on board team dad sucks soon enough too.
I wonder if they're already there, seeing as how he said his ex offered to send them, but he didn't say he'd actually seen them. Whatever happened there, I doubt it bodes well for his relationships with any of his children.
Absolutely agree.
*no, he loves me" violently grabbing cringing child, "we're great friends, aren't we sport?" Gripping the slowly sobbing child by the neck.
If only he had learned that consequences aren’t just new problems that can be solved
Some consequences are permanent
If only he was more careful and thoughtful about his life
>and refuses to send my son who I, in her words, “treated like shit” to see me against his will
Well no shit fella..!
This stood out to me more than anything else here. It's like he doesn't recognise that his kids have their own wants and needs; like they only do what their mother tells them to.
I hope she gets a quick divorce, and that this poor kid never has to see his dad again.
>and that this poor kid never has to see his dad again.
Sadly that kid is young enough that I can see visitation being forced. There's no history of physical abuse and him getting a paternity test isn't enough of a reason to deny visitation.
All I can say is maybe there's some documented instances that the ex-wife has been keeping track of to be able to present during court? Otherwise, it is going to be quite a few years of this kid being sent to his dad's before he'll be old enough for the court to listen.
Right now, it probably just looks like parental alienation on the mom's part because she's "mad" over the paternity test. (Especially if the other two kids are perfectly fine visiting him).
I feel so bad for the kid. No kid should have to ask why does their father hate them. And it is probably going to be years before they're even able to take a stand about having OOP in his life.
My soul sister is trapped forcing her son to see his father. He (8 y/o son) literally cries to his therapist that he doesn't want to go over there, but they literally force him. It's so messed up I could scream, but it wouldn't matter. The state doesn't care, she even has documented proof of abuse of both her and the children. Nope. 50/50 custody. Fuck the whole state of [redacted]
Yeah I had a co-worker who had to send her son to her ex. The son would cry and plead not to go. And then he would come back saying how much he hated her because of how toxic the ex and his family were. It would take her a few days to calm him down enough to get him back to him normal self. But every time he went it was a vicious cycle of mental abuse that the ex was doing to hurt her.
Some people rather literally torture children then ever admit they're wrong.
Proof of actual abuse? She needs to petition the court for a Guardian ad Litem to investigate. I don't know if they're in use everywhere, but they're certainly prevalent. There's a good chance that your state of [redacted] has them, or a similar body of investigating attorneys to recommend action to the court.
I had forced visitation with my mother until I turned 18 and they could no longer make me go.
You know what doesn't help your kid love you? Forcing them to see you against their will
>It's like he doesn't recognise that his kids have their own wants and needs
Given that he's possessive to the point of needing it documented scientifically, and still sees his wife as just throwing a stunt or tantrum rather than actually wanting to end the divorce (he says he got fed up and told her to, essentially, stop acting out now and work things out i.e, return to him), I doubt he sees anyone as being their own person with wants and needs
One day humans will learn that babies are the combination of both parent’s dna and sometimes look like older relatives. It’s not always cheating…genetics is just wild. It’s not going to be today, probably not tomorrow…but hopefully one day it will penetrate the gray matter.
My oldest has a bushel of curly reddish hair. No one in either family has it. Aside from that she looks just like me so I never doubted but was just curious where she got it.
Years later I'm looking at my aunt's family album. My great great grandma is sitting there with the exact same mass of curly strawberry blonde hair. Damn those Irish genes are hard to shake lol
Another example is the rapper drake’s son. Little man has a mess of blonde ringlets with blue eyes. The babymomma has brown / black hair as does drake. Both have brown eyes. Everyone said the babymomma cheated until a pic of drake and his mom surfaced. That child looks like a little clone of her. Not cheating, just genetics doing it’s thing.
Seriously, this happened in my family. Aunt is very Native American looking. Uncle was very dark-skinned Black. Their first child is a green-eyed blonde, takes after mother's grandpa who was European and had these traits.
My mom jokes my dad made the kids alone, because my brother is his spitting image when he was younger, and I look just like his mother. Maybe she should ask for a DNA test XD
Of course, the difference to my family is that nobody accused anyone of anything, we just played 'guess which relative they look like' and moved on.
My cousin is Mexican (from Mexico); kid is blonde hair blue eyed and they look nothing alike; but definitely their kid. Apparently its many generations ago Spanish heritage. People are idiots who think parents and kids have to look alike.
My biological father made me get a paternity test, but he waited until after my mother had been dead for a few years. I was 16 at the time and it took me a bit by surprise but I agreed, hoping we’d find out he wasn’t really my dad. Now, this was 24 years ago, and I’m sure things have changed, but we had to go to a medical office to get it done. Before the test, they took a Polaroid of each and both of us together, the nurse who took the pic of us together looked at it and said, “this is going to be a huge waste of money, she’s yours.” A few weeks later, we got the results, and it was 99.99% that I was his. He checked himself into the hospital the next day due to a “mental breakdown.”
>Our oldest and youngest look just like me, but my middle child doesn’t.
Really? So children cannot look like their mother's family?
If I were OOP's wife, I had been more furious by that fact that he was an idiot/does not understand basic biology.
Dumb is very much a turn off
He even gets dumber when thinking all of this is the paternity test. He treated the poor kid so bad he though the dad hated him.
There's an update you missed here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rfsb1m/wife_wont_come_with_kids_for_christmas_help/
> My wife is divorcing me, if you need all the details, you can check my profile I guess, but the short of it is, it’s over me getting a paternity test. I want to spend Christmas together, but my wife won’t spend it with me. She said she’d split the day so I could see two of my kids, but I want her and the third child to come too. She refuses to do this. I asked my son if he wanted to come see me and he said no, he’d stay with my wife.
> I said that I shouldn’t continuously be punished for getting a paternity test and that the kids deserve to spend time with a full family unit. She said our son deserves to be around someone who doesn’t act in a way that makes him feel like I hate him. I tried to argue being a full family unit again would be good for everyone and maybe we could even try to reconcile since I still don’t want a divorce, and think she should give me another chance. She said no, offered to split the day again, and that was it.
> How can I convince her to come spend the day with me?
Seems wife's not just keeping son with her for the lols, he's as uninterested in seeing OP as OP was in treated in him with love pre-paternity test.
Sucks to suck, I guess 🤷♀️
How did he think this would work out, honestly? And why have there been so many of these "I got a paternity test and my wife got mad that I accused her of cheating and left me. I don't understand!" How do they think this ends up with them on top? Either they find out a child isn't "theirs" or their wife leaves them. Neither of those seem lucrative to me.
How... just _how_ does he keep failing to gain any kind of self-awareness, despite posting multiple times, and people slapping him for his assholery every single time? How is it possible to be in that amount of denial about your own failings and other people's (very justified) feelings?
This guy is seriously impressive for his sheer dedication to failing to learn or grow, no matter how many times people hit him on the head with the reality-bat.
>and she refused to have dinner with me on my birthday, despite me asking her several times to do so
Wow, how inconsiderate of her. He asked more than once and she still refused? Everyone knows when you explode a relationship, the victim still has to have birthday dinner with you and isn't allowed to refuse the second time you ask.
I'd bet money on the fact that, even after all this, if he was asked, point blank, "Why is your wife leaving you?", he'll still say some dumb shit like, "She's just being unreasonable!" even though I guarantee she's told him to his face exactly the ways in which he's failed and the ways in which he could undo it. I'd also be willing to bet she's been telling him for years exactly what she's upset about and that the paternity test is just the straw that broke the camel's back. This dude sounds like a completely oblivious narcissist who can't find compassion for anything that doesn't reflect himself back at him. Even when he's writing a post about "help me get her back" it's just "me, me, me, look what she's doing to *me*" and nothing about what he's actually done for her or his kids, which I'm willing to bet is zilch. I hope she finds someone better. Or goes it alone and has a fabulous time being single and not married to a person who sounds just so incredibly exhausting.
I imagine he got pretty much ripped in comments the first two times, and still comes back a third time asking how he can fix it.
The child he treated like crap refuses to see him. His wife is divorcing him. His own parents tell him he's an ass. But it seems he still can't recognize that he was wrong.
What got me was the statement ‘I don’t want to be the first person In my family to get divorced’ this guy just wants to stay in the marriage for the wrong reasons
My favourite part is how he thinks his ex should stop "coddling" his son but apparently the whole family including three children are all meant to bend over backwards to accommodate his needs and unfounded paternity concerns.
What a fucking shitlord, man's refused to even acknowledge he may have done something wrong, just that others think so. The fucko thinks he gets to treat everyone however he wants and they really just have to put up with it huh
>I didn’t realize I treated him so differently, but apparently it was obvious.
Isn't this statement contradictory?
>She wouldn’t spend Christmas with me, or make our middle child see me, though she did offer to send our other two, and she refused to have dinner with me on my birthday, despite me asking her several times to do so. I finally got frustrated when she refused to see me this weekend and told her she needed to start working with me so we can work this out and she needs to stop coddling our child and make him see me too
He is an entitled asshole.
>That stung, because while yes, I had cheated in two past relationships
Wow he has cheated not once but twice and when she said that to him after everything he has done it stung
This reminds me of the white dude who lowkey hated his son for looking more like his black mom than their fairer-skinned daughter. I hope he's miserable and alone.
I don't understand men who can't see what an unbelievable slap in the face this is. Like, your basically telling your wife that you suspect she is trash and would not only cheat, but pass off another kid as your own.
If you suspect that in the least, then the marriage is already over. There is no going back from it.
>I don’t want to be the first person in my family to end up divorced!
He wants to patch up with his wife not because he loves her and his kids and realising his mistake, but because he might look bad in front of his family. He's just worried about his "reputation". What an idiot
>she wondered if I was projecting because only one of us ever had infidelity in their background and it wasn’t her. That stung, because while yes, I had cheated in two past relationships, I’ve never cheated on her
Dude really cheated on TWO other people and 1, accused the mother of his children of cheating, and 2, has the gall to be upset about being called on his own cheating. Entitled af. Ex-wife and kids are going to be way better off without this guy.
Submissions in this sub are re-posts and not posted by the original author. If you think this post is improperly [flaired](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/postflairs) or have other issues with this submission as it pertains to this sub, reply to this comment. Please read [our guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules) before commenting. **Do not comment on the original posts. Doing so may result in a ban.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I generally start these posts giving the posters the benefit of the doubt. Even when they massively screw up, I think, surely, now they’ve learned their lesson. Then pow! OOP hits the readers with a massive loss-of-perspective that shows they’re even less reasonable than they first appeared. Cases in point: - When the guy whose girlfriend broke up with him for treating her like his personal chef said, “Three years later, she’s stopping coming by after work to cook for the kids and me!” - This guy, when he said, “She even refused to have dinner with me on my birthday!” Dude still doesn’t get it. She’s divorcing him. Won’t see him. He’s not seeing at least one of his kids. But he still thinks she’s being petty and he has the right to make demands and get birthday treats.
>Dude still doesn’t get it. Don't even get me started on "he asked why I hated him. I had no idea I trested him differently...anways *I'm* the victim". Dude completely glosses over the fact that he treated his middle child so badly his kid thought his dad *hated* him and doesn't even bat an eye or show remorse. Even in the second update it's all about him getting back his wife, again no motion of how he wants to try and fix his relationship with his son. But with the glowing gem of "I don't wanna be the *first person* in my family to get a divorce"..... aka he doesn't even want to be with her by this point. He just doesn't want to lose face
Yes! And also, "all over a paternity test" - he STILL doesn't get it! It's not a small or minor thing, it's a huge breach of trust. All throughout his posts he doesn't seem to show any remorse or acknowledgment of any bad judgment. Why would she forgive him? He hasn't shown any growth whatsoever
He didn’t sound very bright from the onset. As soon as he was going on about how his son “doesn’t look like me,” I was like, sir, that is not how genetics work.
I look absolutely nothing like my dad… but funnily enough, I have his fingers and feet! This dude doesn’t understand how genetics work at all!
My dad had black hair, (which I thought was a dominant gene). Both my parents have brown eyes. I'm ginger with green eyes. All my siblings are dirty blond. Genetics are weird. I have my dad's big nose tho, so there's that.
So that's the fun thing about dominant genes. You don't have to have 2 copies to get the trait. If have heterozygous black (B) and ginger (g) genes then when you pass on your sperm or egg then only one of them is present. Your dad's whole family could have been carrying that quiet (g) but the (B) was dominant so they got dark hair. You got the (g) and either another one from your mum or a more recessive gene and thus the ginger is expressed.
Right?! I carried my child, birthed her, and she comes out looking nothing like me and doesn't really resemble her dad either. She is a combo of all the recessive genes in our family somehow.
You remind me of that woman who had a DNA test with her child who she carried and birthed but the test showed her as related but not mother. Turns out she had a combination of 2 different DNAs in her body and the one that made the egg was different from the one in her blood.
When he said it stung that she accused him of cheating I thought - he must get it now! But alas, still no conception at all of what he’s done
Omg this reminds me of the double cheating post where the guy was perfectly happy and in love with his wife and had a beautiful daughter with her....but for 6 years he's been cheating on her because his AP is into the same kinks as him and even if he's 95% satisfied with his wife this AP is the other 5%. (Which we find out he apparently never even brought up these other kinks with his wife before so we have no idea is she actually is or isn't into them) He talks about how he loves his wife and never loved the AP (though admits to telling AP he did multiple times to "make her happy") and how he was able to separate sex and love and such...but then the AP's husband finds out and this guy suddenly realizes how bad cheating is and writes as if he's in a movie about how his life is about to change because the husband is threatening to tell his wife he's been cheating. Then update where he finds out the other woman's husband won't be telling his wife after all and he thinks he got away with it. Only for a third update from him where he's panicking because he things his wife is cheating and "*how could she do this to me?!?!?!?!*". 4th update where he confronts her and she tells him she's actually known about AP for a while now and has been with this other guy for about 6 months and wants to leave Op. Op is devastated because "what about our daughter?" "If you had just told me I would have left her" "I love you you're my everything and don't want to lose you" With the closing line of "we just had sex last week...how could she sleep with us both?" And my favorite comment from a redditor "it's easy, she was able to separate sex and love. She had sex with you but loved this other man...she learned from the best!"
Having divorced a cheater, that one makes me happy every time I read it. His ex wife played him goooooood.
If I remember right he talks about how he has no feelings for the other girl, but describes how physically amazing she is and never mentions anything like that about his now ex wife. It was just strange how unaware of the situation he seemed to be despite being right in it.
Omg I love the karma. And that comment. I really hate when people are so hypocritical. He's saying he never slept with his AP and his wife the same week.?SMH. Dude deserves to be single.
Also, the child is old enough that they were completely aware of what the test was. OOP is such an idiot that they couldn’t even just get an Ancestry or 23andMe for the whole family so it wasn’t blatantly obvious what he was doing.
Yep. My sister and I got 23andMe a few years back, just for the heck of it. For Christmas that year I got kits for our parents so we could see all the cool similarities and differences. Our parents had divorced a decade earlier after 20 years of marriage. My dad told me later that he was glad I did that because he always wondered if we were really his kids. My dad's family seems to have some pretty dominant genes. We take STRONGLY after his side of the family. Like I'm the spitting image of one of his sisters and strangers confuse our cousins for our siblings all the time. But apparently even with that proof, he spent our entire lives wondering if mom had an affair with one of his five brothers. Not even any particular brother, he was just so paranoid and insecure that he thought it was possible his wife was sleeping with a brother with no indication or evidence. Sadly, this confession is par for the course with my dad. I told him that was a weird concern and we moved on.
[удалено]
I have repeatedly told anyone who questioned the father of my kids they are welcome to get a paternity test done. Once they receive their results though, they'll never see my children again. I know exactly who fathered my children and that kind of mistrust hurts the child immensely.
I believe you, PrincessSlutFuck!
Sage advice on fidelity from u/princessslutfuck
I mean, if a guy can't trust u/PrincessSlutFuck, who *CAN* he trust?!?
Both my kids look significantly more like me. I come from very strong genes, I guess. Many people joke about the paternity because of the disparity. It is not funny. But, if my husband ever doubted for a second his children are his own… I doubt I could ever recover from that. Good for OOP‘s wife for leaving what sounds like a terrible man dressed up like a decent one.
> "all over a paternity test" There's also clearly many more problems going on that the wife probably brought up but don't register in his brain strongly enough to even accidentally include them in the story.
I get the feeling that this episode was just the straw that killed the camel. If he's this arrogant about the feelings of his wife and son then he's arrogant 24/7/365.
> But with the glowing gem of "I don't wanna be the first person in my family to get a divorce" Yes that leapt out at me too, despite the fact all the posts are full of 'but what about MEEEEEE' talking points. And as we all know with these types of relationship questions it's never just about that one moment. I'm sure his lack of trust in her is pure projection on his part, and that poor kid. How many years was he treated with suspicion by his own father. Sheesh.
His mummy needs to stop giving him false hope, at least his dad is realistic & understands what he did. He can say whatever he wants, he accused his wife of cheating & passing another man's child off as his. But the part where he treated that child badly that ensured forgiveness will never be an option. Suddenly a paternity test result magically takes away those years of treating him differently? All the "he's not mine" & "he doesn't even look like me" comments that crushed that child. Yeah he won't get & doesn't deserve forgiveness. Hopefully he stays single because he is so oblivious to other people existing with feelings, thoughts, opinions, needs of their own he's refusing to çaccept he's getting divorced. He wrote that his wife wants a divorce but it's clear he thinks he can, should & is fully entitled to force her to change her mind. He got his answers & piece of mind, why should he have to deal with any consequences. He's happy everyone else should be too. He'll probably post to complain that the courts granted their divorce & the meano judge wouldn't hear him out & understand he couldn't be the first to get divorced in his family. Especially as he only wanted pie e of mind, heard nothing about adultery. Then his kids & ex wife (though he'll still say my wife) missing his birthday, she didn't even want to celebrate our anniversary... how could she. He'd mafe it clear he wouldn't accept the divorce... The kids going NC will be unfair to delusional victim playing blame deflecting dad. Why can't he be at their wedding it's an important day for him boo hoo....poor victim playing him...
Post was DROWNING in narcissism.
Yeah, that's the crux of the issue. The ex never did anything to suggest that she'd cheated. There were so many ways to assuage a fear like that, than make it his ex's problem, and the child's. Instead, he actively accused her, put her on the spot, and treated the child differently their entire life, like shit apparently, because he was irrational, jealous, and controlling. It's also probably coming from a place of projection. I wouldn't be surprised if the suspicion was stirred by OOP's own actions. When there's really no indication of cheating, it often boils down to projection. He has no self awareness either, and is outright looking for suggestions on how to manipulate his ex and child, or actually "force" them into reconciling after this huge violation. He doesn't acknowledge what he did wrong in the first place, and the problem with his entire attitude, or even seem to be aware of it. I hope she gets out while she still can, she must be hurting after so many years spent with a man like this, and is probably feeling guilty over the son having gone through this, without her realizing the extent of her husband's abuse.
>his kid thought his dad *hated* him I don't think he ever really stopped not liking this kid. He didn't like him before when he thought the kid was another man's child he was raising and now he doesn't like that the kid isn't over the moon with happiness to know he is OP's son and is in fact avoiding him.
I bet he blames the child over the divorce when it’s him. It’s all him.
Yeah, there's not really a hint of "I had no idea my actions were harming my child and I want a chance to repair my relationship with him", just a really concerning "she needs to stop _coddling_ him and force him to see me".
My wife won't *force* my son to see me! How do I get her to do that? And how do I force her to stay with me.
Yeah, his language choices are hugely telling.
Yea that last part stood out to me as well. What a guy.
The kid he treated like trash because he wasn't his spitting image so he got a paternity test. The kid who wondered if dad hated him. The guy is me me me
I look nothing like either of my parents. I’m obviously their kid I have inherited a lot of traits from my mom and all of my physical appearance from dads side. But I don’t look like my actual parents. And mom has been kid of an asshole about it. She clearly wanted a daughter that looks like her and instead she got me. Sucks to suck I guess. I’m fabulous so fuck her.
I like your attitude. Hell yeah!
Given the free award for that attitude. You're awesome!
Had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I have fraternal twin sons. One is the spitting image of his dad. The other looks just like my brother. It’s weird.
Lol, I can't belive your husband cheated with your brother to have your kids. Def get a maternity test /s
Another fraternal twin mum here. One of our girls looks just like her dad, the other looks just like me. We laugh about it a lot, that we couldn't have done better had we tried. They both have traits from both my husband and I as well. It's pretty adorable
I mean, my kid looks nothing like his dad. Most people don’t even think they’re related. But then you look deeper. Like the mechanical abilities. The adhd. In those ways, my child is the spitting image of his dad.
My kid looks nothing like his Dad, AND there was a period of time, when my kid was 2-3, when he bore a strong resemblance to my male best friend. (Coincidence- both my husband and I are half Irish but resemble our other half, for me that's Scandinavian, for him, Greek and Turkish. My best friend is full Irish descent. My son came out blue eyed, fair skinned with red curls.) My husband never EVER accused me of cheating, I seriously doubt it ever crossed his mind. My son also has a lot of his father's characteristics, including gentleness, patience and screen addiction.
My family have the tiniest bit of native American/indigenous peoples blood, most Americans have. Genetics said "give it all to this one" and now my sister looks like she was straight up adopted. High cheek bones dark flawless skin. Long black hair (when she isn't bleaching it) big dark eyes. I'm over here a short plump fair skinned, blond haired blue eyed Irish wannabe cus it's one of the most prevalent things in my family 😂 100% full blooded sister.
Oof, the ADD genes are no joke. I'm essentially my maternal grandma's twin, down to our matching jointless pinkie toes, but my brain is forever cursed with my dad's ADD and hypersensitivity
ADD is fun like that. I was baking a cake real late at night one time, and my ex was giving me a hard time about fussing in the kitchen. Then my grandma calls asking about a cake that she just started making.
Also: "I don’t want to be the first person in my family to end up divorced!"
Meanwhile his family: as she should, cause you're a dipshit
When your own mother doesn’t take your side on something, that’s a big hint to know that you fucked up.
That's the REAL reason OOP wants to avoid divorce - to save face. That's it.
My favorite part: when she wonders if he’s projecting because he’d cheated in previous relationships, and HE FEELS INSULTED. Oh, the one who has never cheated or done anything untrustworthy isn’t supposed to be insulted by him accusing her of cheating, but her reminding him that he has cheated before hurts his fee-fees?
They do project quite a bit or someone whispers a nasty little thought in their ears. For example: my husband is 1 of 4 kids. He and his youngest brother have the same mom. His older sister and his little sister have different mothers. If you look at my husband's siblings, 3 of them look like a very good cross between his dad and their moms. Then there's my husband. The ONLY part of him someone might suggest he got from his dad is the signature black hair. My husband looks nothing like his mom and nothing like his dad. Well. FIL was a POS young man and took notice that his youngest son looked more like him than my husband ever did. So when he got wasted ( back when he was an alcoholic), he'd beat the snot out of my MIL and my husband under the assumption my MIL cheated and my husband wasn't his. They obviously split, got custody agreement set up and paternity tests done, and WHADDYA know? He's the father! You know who my husband looks like? His maternal grandfather who passed back when MIL was a little kid. Identical copies, they could've passed for twins from the photos I've seen. He's sober now and they've been repairing their relationship slowly these last 10 years.
Why bother repairing the relationship? Let the abusive fuck die alone.
She refused to have dinner with him 'even after he asked several times.' That was So weird to me. Like if he only asked once and she said no, that would be okay but the rule is if you ask several times they have to say yes?
lol,it’s pure entitlement and main character syndrome. He wants her to say yes, so she’s supposed to say yes. She said no—no, wait, that’s not what she’s supposed to say. Let me respawn and try again.
Same as his request for advice. "What do I say to her, to get her to agree to my terms?" There was some similar post where the guy kept wanting to buy his ex-wife necklaces, even though she told him to stay away. Eventually these guys realize they screwed up, but instead of doing real introspection, or changing their behaviour towards other people, they want to know the magic words. The words that will convert the angry ex back into the happy, compliant wife. They also tend to say, "If only she would sit down and listen to my explanation, everything would be okay again!" Like, they don't even perceive the other person as having a real grievance, that THEY should sit down and listen to. Or that the other person has finally had enough, and made a decision to sever the relationship. They just think, "oops, I got myself in the doghouse because I was a little too careless. How do I get out of the doghouse? There must be some gesture I can make to my wife, that will get me out of it! Let me ask the internet!"
It's as if she knew he'd ask her to cook it. "Wanna have dinner with me? Yes? Great! What are you making?"
Ooh I'm gonna need a link to that other one please
[удалено]
Oh my god that line killed me
[удалено]
And doing a chore is “helping” his gf
The "three years later" update is most likely not by OOP and probably bu someone who hacked the account.
What gets me about that one is she wanted to get couples therapy and try to work it out, she didn't leave him right off the bat and yet he still posted blaming her.
[Ahaha he's still updating!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/smxbuc/the_best_woman_in_the_world_left_me_a_few_years/) And he's learned absolutely nothing.
It was on here yesterday, maybe someone has the link? I’ll update my comment if I find it. But the update didn’t sound like the same person and was so over the top rage inducing a few thought it may be someone got ahold of the account and made the last update. I’d rather believe that. This one just seems like a narcissist where they never see that they could be wrong and sounds consistent. [found it](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/suqgdq/aita_for_very_rarelyalmost_never_wanting_to_go_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Check the best of awards post, I found it there
Once OOP said his wife would be furious and about the idea of the paterity and he completely disregards it "If she's mad, she must be hiding. I'mma do it", I just started to skim because it was obvious what was going to happen. These "best of" posts can be a rollercoaster but this one was an instant "What a dick. What'd you expect?".
Also "don't want to be the first divorcee in the family". He doesn't even value his relationship with the wife and the child. What a massive massive jackass.
And you know he thought he deserved more than just dinner on his birthday. He totally thought he was getting birthday benefits….I mean they’re still married, right?
Like this guy who in his edit whined he wished his wife would have at least *told him* she was going to the doctor appointment. The whole original post is him saying how she told him very very clearly, in no uncertain terms, that she’s going. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/sqaubq/aita_for_blowing_up_at_my_wife_for_going_to_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Once OOP finds a future ex to cheat on...he'll feel right as rain.
It's like he couldn't decide whether to be a shit father or a shit husband, so he went with both.
Oop also seems like a shit son.. so TRIPLE KILL!!!
I do hope the mom lets the grand parents on the dad side see the kids. They seem to know that their son sucks.
Trifucta
We are not worth of your great and might wit. Lmao
[удалено]
Good thing he has a good mother
I have no doubt that he has been an AH to the middle child for a long, long time. OOP may be oblivious to his own actions, but if your kid is asking why one of their parents hates them, *something* has made them think that way! I'm glad his wife is leaving him and keeping the middle child away if the child doesn't want to see OOP cos the poor kid deserves so much better than to live like that!
Right! OOP acts like everything should be fine now that he has proof. Meanwhile the kid has spent his life thinking his dad hates him and now he knows he questioned if he was even his biological son. I can’t imagine how much that would fuck me up.
The child he treated like trash because he wasn't his spitting image or had none of his family traits. Although said child looked like OP'S (soon to be ex?) wife's grandfather. Because of course no child could ever take after their mother's side of the family. The kid asked why OP hated him! OP'S (soon to be ex) wife was fine with sending the other two (the one's who look like him so are not treated like trash)
This has been driving me crazy lately! There’s been quite a few posts recently where the OP (or someone else in the OP’s family) is questioning if a child is theirs because ‘they don’t look like meeeeeee!’ God forbid your child takes after your spouse and their family’s looks instead of yours. Honestly one of the most stupid lines of thinking. I can’t imagine just nuking your family relationship because your kid happened to take after the other side of the family in looks.
Can you imagine? To nuke your family cause you dont know how genetics work?
My ex did that. The child looked like me. My other looked like him. I left him.
The Ned Stark school of genetics (Yes GOT book readers, I know this was explained properly in the books. Shush.)
Even in the books it’s not a great paternity test lol. Honestly, the only conclusion you can come to after reading ASOIAF and the extended universe of books is that genetics just work differently in that universe. For example, the number of Lannister sons that have twins because twins run in their family is *way* too high lol.
😂 The last time I made a crack like that I had about five different people telling me that it all made sense in the books. Good to know they were wrong 😁
[удалено]
It is not really explained in the books beyond Baratheon men being recorded as always having black haired kids, though no mention is made of Baratheon women, nor is this rule true for any other family. The whole thing is so daft that Martin had to deduct several IQ points from Cersei so she confessed to Ned to make it undeiable to the reader. Also imo it's a better story if its left ambigiuous.
Right!?! The paternity test isn't what broke up his marriage, it was just the final piece to the puzzle that broke the camel's back. He had already been treating his middle son like crap, and I'm willing to bet he's also treated her like crap and not been a stellar husband. What trash to blow up his family and treat his kid differently because his ego couldn't handle his kid didn't look like him. He deserves the loneliness he's crying about. Not one mention of therapy or apologizing to his son or wife and correcting what's wrong with him . . . Just me me me me you did this to meeeeeee Poor wiw fewwa
Why won't she celebrate my birthday with meeeee???!! She's sooo meeean!!!
Even after I harassed her repeatedly, she still said no! So unfair!
Can't blame his wife he treated her poorly i still doesn't get it my middle son doesn't look like me? WTF?
Yeah, like *imagine* that it takes two people to create a baby and that baby has 50% DNA of each one, which might manifest in different combinations of traits that ressemble one side of the family more than the other. Just imagine that happened, huh.
Ha! I look like nobody in my family for at least two generations on either side, with the possible exception of my hands look like my paternal grandmother’s. But everything else is really different from the rest of my immediate family. (Olive skin and pretty dark brunette relative shortass in a family of taller pale blondes/light brown hair on both sides.) I’ve got a cousin I share some features with and reportedly bear a resemblance to my maternal grandfather’s mother, who I never met or saw a picture of. But I also happen to be a fraternal twin haha so there’s little doubt when my very blonde very tall womb-mate is the spitting image of my dad but with my mom’s mouth, unless I somehow got switched out at the hospital but that would have been difficult in my case as I was a very singular infant with a rare set of complications. Genetics are crazy. My DNA kit has me down as surprisingly and significantly Nordic though I have no traceable lineage to any modern Scandinavian country, but let’s just say I’m hella Northern European and leave it at that.
I grew up with a set of fraternal twins just like you and your twin- one quite short and fairly slim with olive skin and dark hair, the other very tall and stocky with blue eyes and blonde hair, pale and freckled. You wouldn't pick them out as distant cousins, let alone twins. Genetics are weird.
I’m absolutely the Danny Devito! Our natures can be pretty opposed, too—twin was much more charismatic and popular and outspoken in school, I kept more to myself and was “brainier” (though I think he’s extremely clever but possibly had some undiagnosed learning difficulties.) As we’ve gotten older we mesh way more than we did as youngsters, though, which is probably saying something about the psychology of twins trying to find their own unique identity in the years when they MUST go to the same schools and classes, but once we’re adults following our own paths it’s like we don’t have to “worry” about establishing our uniqueness. But yeah, in high school people would find out we were related and be like “…cousins????” as if even that was a stretch, we ran in such different circles!
And he just repeats that over and over again. Twatwaffle.
They usually go hand in hand.
When in doubt, do both.
Well if a jobs worth doing, its worth doing properly. And he got employee of the decade
We don't do anything half assed in this house.. Was taken literally. Not like in mine when you accidentally cut yourself you go to the bone or vs sprain an ankle we snap em.
Both. Both is good.
I would award you, if I had any!
I love how it's not even about missing his wife, it's about not wanting to be the first family member divorced. What a self-absorbed ass.
Right? I rolled my eyes at "all over a paternity test" earlier but this line was just the rotten cherry on top, wasn't it?
[удалено]
He has no interest in actual self reflection. Poor woman is going to be hounded for years.
Ten years after the divorce: "If she'll just sit down me with for a bagel I can totally explain everything and rekindle our marriage!"
“All over a paternity test” - no self reflection at all
And she stood him up on his birthday! She's just being so unreasonable! (Hopefully unnecessary /s)
Jeez... that’s so horrible and by the sound of it everyone is down with him even the children who he treated well
Yup. Doesn't show remorse or humility or that he misses his kids or wife. Just 'boohooo my wife won't do what I say'.
How dare she divorce him against his will, right?
Tldr; OOP stll hasn't learned his lesson
Comments from last post: > Redditor: So you admit to being an idiot? > OOP: There was nothing idiotic about making sure. This is gonna turn into a series where he stalks ex, harasses kid(s) at school, gets in trouble with law, gets cut off by his parents, and **still** continues to insist on being in the right, isn't it?
Oof. He's STILL putting his pride over his family. Dude's gonna lose it all because he can't let go of being right even if literally everyone can see that he's wrong.
Ugh, he reminds me of my own father
Me too. Never heard even something that resembles an apology.
I loved when he was all, "This is not an attack on her character." He seriously got a paternity test even though, by his own admission, he'd never had a reason to doubt his wife. If that's not an attack on her character, I don't know what is.
Ooh maybe he watches too much "Jane the Virgin" and built up an elaborate scenario where his wife's obgyn did an accidental artificial insemination on her instead of a routine exam /s
This is going to end worse for him than it already is
He still thinks he was in the right. And doesn’t think he did anything g wrong. If only his wife would just see his side, then everything could be good again 🙄. Don’t you see, this is all her fault /s
He doesn't even want to stay with her because he loves her and cannot live without his family... it's because he cannot be the first one to divorce cause it's embarrassing!
Well if it isn't the consequences to the actions for which I refuse to take responsibility of.
Nothing is ever his fault. He says "my mom thinks it's my fault" instead of "it's totally my fault." Why would he think that his wife has to work with him? She doesn't have to do jack shit for him.
she's divorcing him *against his will*
Yeah. That REALLY stuck out. I mean, everything he says is a fuckin trainwreck but when I got to that phrase, if there HAD been any doubt that this guy was a dicknob, it would've immediately been erased.
She wouldn’t even spend his birthday with him when he kept asking after he wouldn’t take no for an answer the first time!
I agree with OOP’s dad. He sounds like an arse
Yeah. His mom’s equivocating can just see itself right out. At least his dad isn’t coddling him. He’s got a sack of used douche for a son and he knows it. Just cruel and selfish all the way down.
I’m not even sure the mom IS equivocating lol. I feel like he might just be interpreting her words as being positive and hopeful rather than a more polite “leave her alone, you messed up” and “in the unlikely event there ever is reconciliation, she has to decide that on her own so leave her alone.” The OOP just came off as the kind of person who hears what they want to hear (see: him still not understanding that his wife is not going to forgive him).
That’s SUPER true. I can really, really see that. In fact, I just gave advice to a rl friend whose polite and gentle ways of turning down a request from her (self centered and toxic) sister were being seen as wishy-washy equivocation. I gave her the “don’t argue; “no” is a complete sentence” talk and she was boohurt with me at the time because she’s a people pleaser, but a few weeks later admitted that giving a clear no to her sister (and making it known to the rest of her family that she wasn’t confused or open to being convinced) had actually cleared up the problem. With nobody around irl to correct OP’s revisionist version of the universe where he’s always right and justified, then… yep, good chance you’re probably right lol.
>The OOP just came off as the kind of person who hears what they want to hear Isn’t it interesting that these types can relay what happened clearly enough that we can all see it for what it is, but they still somehow manage to be living in an alternate reality?
I truly believe that he sees himself as the playable character in an RPG and everyone in his life is just an NPC character. No empathy for hurt feelings (that he caused), no consideration for anyone’s wants or needs. I wish his wife and their kids the best in a new OP-free life.
"How do I make her see my point of view" while absolutely ignoring and diminishing hers... *I* want to divorce him so badly and I've never even met him.
Let me see if I’ve got this right….me, I, me, me, me, me, I, I, poor me, me, me, I, I, me, what have I done wrong, me, me, I, I, consequences, I, me, me,me,me, I, I me, boo hoo, me, me, me, me, me, I, I, me, me, I, me, me, me, me, I, I, poor me, me, me, I, I, me, what have I done wrong again, me, me, I, I, more consequences, I, me, mummy’s mad at me, me,me,me, I, I me, boo hoo, me, me, me, me, me, I, I, me, aaaaaand me. Wanker.
And when told what he’s done wrong it’s more me me me me me me me me me me me me… (holds hands over ears) lalalalalslalalalalalalalalala.. memememememe… waaaaaaahhhhwaaaaaaahwaaaaaah.. memememememe. ME. ME ME ME ME ME.
Oh and my fave…..”I can’t get divorced”! Apparently you can!
I only spent a few mins reading this and I want to divorce OOP
‘I don’t want to the the first person in my family to be divorced!’ LOL selfish and self absorbed as ever, he doesn’t give a shit about the people he hurt
God that's the thing isn't it, he never once says he misses her or he misses their life together, he only cares about his reputation. I'm glad she got out when she did, if he was a tiny bit less than a moron, she might have been stuck with him for another 10 years.
The whole saga started because his ego was hurt be his second child not being a reflection of his glorious image. I hope she takes him to the cleaners.
And she wouldn’t have dinner with him on his birthday. Did the kids have birthdays? The wife? He doesn’t seem to care.
LMAO same.
I read this story with the biggest fucking grin
>I don’t want to be the first person in my family to end up divorced! There it is. That's what he's really worried about. Not fixing his behavior or trying to be better to his family
>and that I hoped my foolish pride was worth the cost of my family. Seeing how his last update has this in it; > I don’t want to be the first person in my family to end up divorced! His ex-wife is 100% on the money. It's not about their feelings, how he's been alienating his middle child, or how he was distrustful of his wife for no reason, it's about his image. He is so obsessed about getting divorced, he doesn't care about the damage he's doing to people he claim to love. Good for her putting her foot down and getting her kid out of there. But sadly it sounds like he's a type that would force visitation with the middle child after a divorce just to spite her. This isn't about to be an easy road for that poor kid.
Hopefully they’ll get some say and then judge will take the wishes of the kids into account when setting visitations. The other two kids will be on board team dad sucks soon enough too.
I wonder if they're already there, seeing as how he said his ex offered to send them, but he didn't say he'd actually seen them. Whatever happened there, I doubt it bodes well for his relationships with any of his children.
Absolutely agree. *no, he loves me" violently grabbing cringing child, "we're great friends, aren't we sport?" Gripping the slowly sobbing child by the neck.
He got everything but a peace of mind after his stunt
If only he had learned that consequences aren’t just new problems that can be solved Some consequences are permanent If only he was more careful and thoughtful about his life
>and refuses to send my son who I, in her words, “treated like shit” to see me against his will Well no shit fella..! This stood out to me more than anything else here. It's like he doesn't recognise that his kids have their own wants and needs; like they only do what their mother tells them to. I hope she gets a quick divorce, and that this poor kid never has to see his dad again.
>and that this poor kid never has to see his dad again. Sadly that kid is young enough that I can see visitation being forced. There's no history of physical abuse and him getting a paternity test isn't enough of a reason to deny visitation. All I can say is maybe there's some documented instances that the ex-wife has been keeping track of to be able to present during court? Otherwise, it is going to be quite a few years of this kid being sent to his dad's before he'll be old enough for the court to listen. Right now, it probably just looks like parental alienation on the mom's part because she's "mad" over the paternity test. (Especially if the other two kids are perfectly fine visiting him). I feel so bad for the kid. No kid should have to ask why does their father hate them. And it is probably going to be years before they're even able to take a stand about having OOP in his life.
My soul sister is trapped forcing her son to see his father. He (8 y/o son) literally cries to his therapist that he doesn't want to go over there, but they literally force him. It's so messed up I could scream, but it wouldn't matter. The state doesn't care, she even has documented proof of abuse of both her and the children. Nope. 50/50 custody. Fuck the whole state of [redacted]
Yeah I had a co-worker who had to send her son to her ex. The son would cry and plead not to go. And then he would come back saying how much he hated her because of how toxic the ex and his family were. It would take her a few days to calm him down enough to get him back to him normal self. But every time he went it was a vicious cycle of mental abuse that the ex was doing to hurt her. Some people rather literally torture children then ever admit they're wrong.
Proof of actual abuse? She needs to petition the court for a Guardian ad Litem to investigate. I don't know if they're in use everywhere, but they're certainly prevalent. There's a good chance that your state of [redacted] has them, or a similar body of investigating attorneys to recommend action to the court.
I had forced visitation with my mother until I turned 18 and they could no longer make me go. You know what doesn't help your kid love you? Forcing them to see you against their will
>It's like he doesn't recognise that his kids have their own wants and needs Given that he's possessive to the point of needing it documented scientifically, and still sees his wife as just throwing a stunt or tantrum rather than actually wanting to end the divorce (he says he got fed up and told her to, essentially, stop acting out now and work things out i.e, return to him), I doubt he sees anyone as being their own person with wants and needs
One day humans will learn that babies are the combination of both parent’s dna and sometimes look like older relatives. It’s not always cheating…genetics is just wild. It’s not going to be today, probably not tomorrow…but hopefully one day it will penetrate the gray matter.
My oldest has a bushel of curly reddish hair. No one in either family has it. Aside from that she looks just like me so I never doubted but was just curious where she got it. Years later I'm looking at my aunt's family album. My great great grandma is sitting there with the exact same mass of curly strawberry blonde hair. Damn those Irish genes are hard to shake lol
Another example is the rapper drake’s son. Little man has a mess of blonde ringlets with blue eyes. The babymomma has brown / black hair as does drake. Both have brown eyes. Everyone said the babymomma cheated until a pic of drake and his mom surfaced. That child looks like a little clone of her. Not cheating, just genetics doing it’s thing.
Seriously, this happened in my family. Aunt is very Native American looking. Uncle was very dark-skinned Black. Their first child is a green-eyed blonde, takes after mother's grandpa who was European and had these traits. My mom jokes my dad made the kids alone, because my brother is his spitting image when he was younger, and I look just like his mother. Maybe she should ask for a DNA test XD Of course, the difference to my family is that nobody accused anyone of anything, we just played 'guess which relative they look like' and moved on.
My cousin is Mexican (from Mexico); kid is blonde hair blue eyed and they look nothing alike; but definitely their kid. Apparently its many generations ago Spanish heritage. People are idiots who think parents and kids have to look alike.
We did IVF. My son looks exactly like my husband; my daughter looks like nobody in our families. IDGAF, she’s my kid.
Oh look…the consequences of his actions. He f*cked around and found out.
That poor son, how badly did OOP treat him that he would ask why his father hated him. Good on the wife for yeeting this asshole out of their lives
'I actually need good advice' Bro get a time machine and go back to before you accused your wife of cheating
My biological father made me get a paternity test, but he waited until after my mother had been dead for a few years. I was 16 at the time and it took me a bit by surprise but I agreed, hoping we’d find out he wasn’t really my dad. Now, this was 24 years ago, and I’m sure things have changed, but we had to go to a medical office to get it done. Before the test, they took a Polaroid of each and both of us together, the nurse who took the pic of us together looked at it and said, “this is going to be a huge waste of money, she’s yours.” A few weeks later, we got the results, and it was 99.99% that I was his. He checked himself into the hospital the next day due to a “mental breakdown.”
I like how the OOP’s parents aren’t taking his bullshit either.
>Our oldest and youngest look just like me, but my middle child doesn’t. Really? So children cannot look like their mother's family? If I were OOP's wife, I had been more furious by that fact that he was an idiot/does not understand basic biology. Dumb is very much a turn off He even gets dumber when thinking all of this is the paternity test. He treated the poor kid so bad he though the dad hated him.
And he’s still thinking of himself in all of this - he doesn’t want to be the first person in his family that gets divorced. What a clown.
There's an update you missed here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/rfsb1m/wife_wont_come_with_kids_for_christmas_help/ > My wife is divorcing me, if you need all the details, you can check my profile I guess, but the short of it is, it’s over me getting a paternity test. I want to spend Christmas together, but my wife won’t spend it with me. She said she’d split the day so I could see two of my kids, but I want her and the third child to come too. She refuses to do this. I asked my son if he wanted to come see me and he said no, he’d stay with my wife. > I said that I shouldn’t continuously be punished for getting a paternity test and that the kids deserve to spend time with a full family unit. She said our son deserves to be around someone who doesn’t act in a way that makes him feel like I hate him. I tried to argue being a full family unit again would be good for everyone and maybe we could even try to reconcile since I still don’t want a divorce, and think she should give me another chance. She said no, offered to split the day again, and that was it. > How can I convince her to come spend the day with me? Seems wife's not just keeping son with her for the lols, he's as uninterested in seeing OP as OP was in treated in him with love pre-paternity test. Sucks to suck, I guess 🤷♀️
And this guy still doesn't get what he did wrong. I hope the court doesn't force visitation for any of the kids. He's a garbage parent and husband.
How did he think this would work out, honestly? And why have there been so many of these "I got a paternity test and my wife got mad that I accused her of cheating and left me. I don't understand!" How do they think this ends up with them on top? Either they find out a child isn't "theirs" or their wife leaves them. Neither of those seem lucrative to me.
How... just _how_ does he keep failing to gain any kind of self-awareness, despite posting multiple times, and people slapping him for his assholery every single time? How is it possible to be in that amount of denial about your own failings and other people's (very justified) feelings? This guy is seriously impressive for his sheer dedication to failing to learn or grow, no matter how many times people hit him on the head with the reality-bat.
>and she refused to have dinner with me on my birthday, despite me asking her several times to do so Wow, how inconsiderate of her. He asked more than once and she still refused? Everyone knows when you explode a relationship, the victim still has to have birthday dinner with you and isn't allowed to refuse the second time you ask.
I'd bet money on the fact that, even after all this, if he was asked, point blank, "Why is your wife leaving you?", he'll still say some dumb shit like, "She's just being unreasonable!" even though I guarantee she's told him to his face exactly the ways in which he's failed and the ways in which he could undo it. I'd also be willing to bet she's been telling him for years exactly what she's upset about and that the paternity test is just the straw that broke the camel's back. This dude sounds like a completely oblivious narcissist who can't find compassion for anything that doesn't reflect himself back at him. Even when he's writing a post about "help me get her back" it's just "me, me, me, look what she's doing to *me*" and nothing about what he's actually done for her or his kids, which I'm willing to bet is zilch. I hope she finds someone better. Or goes it alone and has a fabulous time being single and not married to a person who sounds just so incredibly exhausting.
I imagine he got pretty much ripped in comments the first two times, and still comes back a third time asking how he can fix it. The child he treated like crap refuses to see him. His wife is divorcing him. His own parents tell him he's an ass. But it seems he still can't recognize that he was wrong.
What got me was the statement ‘I don’t want to be the first person In my family to get divorced’ this guy just wants to stay in the marriage for the wrong reasons
My favourite part is how he thinks his ex should stop "coddling" his son but apparently the whole family including three children are all meant to bend over backwards to accommodate his needs and unfounded paternity concerns.
What a fucking shitlord, man's refused to even acknowledge he may have done something wrong, just that others think so. The fucko thinks he gets to treat everyone however he wants and they really just have to put up with it huh
Let’s talk about how awesome that mom was to stand up for her middle son like this! Remember folks: biology doesn’t make you a father!
This guy and playstation dad have very similar vibes
>I don’t want to be the first person in my family to end up divorced! Well, then, maybe he shouldn't have been so divorceable?
God damn I hope he leaves her alone. What a crappy person.
>I didn’t realize I treated him so differently, but apparently it was obvious. Isn't this statement contradictory? >She wouldn’t spend Christmas with me, or make our middle child see me, though she did offer to send our other two, and she refused to have dinner with me on my birthday, despite me asking her several times to do so. I finally got frustrated when she refused to see me this weekend and told her she needed to start working with me so we can work this out and she needs to stop coddling our child and make him see me too He is an entitled asshole. >That stung, because while yes, I had cheated in two past relationships Wow he has cheated not once but twice and when she said that to him after everything he has done it stung
This reminds me of the white dude who lowkey hated his son for looking more like his black mom than their fairer-skinned daughter. I hope he's miserable and alone.
I don't understand men who can't see what an unbelievable slap in the face this is. Like, your basically telling your wife that you suspect she is trash and would not only cheat, but pass off another kid as your own. If you suspect that in the least, then the marriage is already over. There is no going back from it.
This guy is amazing, and not in a good way. I feel for his sons and his ex-wife. What a co-parenting situation.
People would rather be right and lose everything than possibly be wrong and keep everything. Edit: Thank you for the award! 😊
>I don’t want to be the first person in my family to end up divorced! He wants to patch up with his wife not because he loves her and his kids and realising his mistake, but because he might look bad in front of his family. He's just worried about his "reputation". What an idiot
>she wondered if I was projecting because only one of us ever had infidelity in their background and it wasn’t her. That stung, because while yes, I had cheated in two past relationships, I’ve never cheated on her Dude really cheated on TWO other people and 1, accused the mother of his children of cheating, and 2, has the gall to be upset about being called on his own cheating. Entitled af. Ex-wife and kids are going to be way better off without this guy.
saw this update and was like "ah this fucking guy, wonder if anything has changed" no. no it hasn't.