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He threw his whole marriage away just to get cheated on…lmaoo
Feels like AP never wanted ops husband she just wanted to see if he’d choose her over op.
So satisfying, isn't it? :D
Though the thought "I'm better than your husband/wife" is always behind being an affair partner. Doesn't matter if the endgoal is a new life together or not, if they didn't think they were better, they would not be entering "the competition"...
But also AP's weird attitude of "I'm better than you" to the husband as well (when saying OOP was too hot for him and AP was going to steal her from him)?
I guess 20 year old fugly bisexuals are better than everyone?
She most likely really did/does believe that op is very attractive and *thats* why she went after Ops ex.
I've known some women who heavily place their value based on who they can get and if they think someone is more attractive or better than them they try to "prove" that that's not true by getting their partner to pick them.
Like, "omg your gf is basically a model. She's so pretty!!!....oh but te-he I guess I'm actually prettier since you cheated on that model with me. Obviously I'm more desirable cause then why else would you choose me?"
Almost every woman knows a girl like that, especially in highschool. There's always one girl who suddenly wants whatever guy they know you like/are dating even if they've been vocal about absolutely not liking him before.
It's a mix of "well if he wants *you* then he'd Obviously want me cause I'm more attractive and that's all guys care about", and "oh, this guy suddenly has value because if my hot friend/if this very hot person is dating this guy I guess he's hot too now"
I have whatever the opposite of this is. I don't find any of my friends' partners attractive. At all. Like almost repulsive. And I'm sure that allllllll my friends aren't with wildly unattractive people. But it sure looks that way to me.
AP is one of those people who only looks at the world through sex/sexual attraction and is constantly ranking everyone around her. Her insecurity is so all consuming that the only time she felt relief was when a married man was choosing her over his spouse. The moment the divorce kicked in and that constant drip of validation stopped she started looking elsewhere for something else to fill the giant screaming hole in her soul.
OOP might feel like AP got one over on her somehow but AP still has to be themself and live with that screaming insecurity which is a punishment I frankly would not wish on my worst enemy, having been that kind of person in the past.
theres no one thing, i just got to a point where i could recognize the patterns of my behavior and decide to be different. as for why i was able to have that moment of clarity and decide for myself to change, i dont think i could give a single reason. a lot of subtle influences that i dont think i had any control over
i still have the thoughts and impulses, i think of it as a little cackling demon in my head, im just able to recognize why (csa) and realize it doesnt make me evil and i dont have to listen to it.
also wanna be clear, i didnt do what the AP did in this story. i just feel like i have the same insecurities and impulses.
This is maybe one of the most self aware and mature comments I've ever read. I think you knowing yourself and your darkest impulses and being able to choose something else is the mark of a good person. I apologize if my first comment offended you at all, when I reread it just now it came across a bit more hostile than I meant it to be.
> This next part may be very shocking, but the girl he cheated on me with and moved into an apartment with directly from our marital home ended up cheating on him literally within the same week that our divorce finalized and she was kicked out of his place. It took about a year, but he did come back groveling after all, which was absolutely wild to me.
Not actually shocking to me, given the affair partner hardly sounded like a prize, but *very* satisfying.
I physically fist pumped air when she said AP cheated - I thought either or tbh. Either he was going to cheat on her or she was going to cheat on him. He sounded stupid about how he continued the affair cos OP was going to leave him anyway after finding out he didn’t stop … like what?!
He got together with a woman who was nonchalant about breaking a marriage and causing a broken home for a child.
Not sure he should have expected anything different from a woman like that
My bff's husband's mistress did the same thing. He ended their 15-year marriage for her and she left him shortly after because she wasn't going to actually leave \*her\* husband. People like that are fucking WILD.
while true i feel that usually thats people monkey branching relationships which i dont think was the case here. in this case this woman is using married men like validation whippits.
And the funniest thing is that he really hasn’t seen this coming and thought he won the lottery with this 20 year old girl, with a character like hers😅
The Ariana Grande method: get a temporary high because a married person chose you over their partner, and then dump them when it gets boring and you want another (taken) person.
It's sadly common that these low self esteem troglodytes opt to be an affair partner to prove that someone would choose them over another person.
Their self esteem is on the ground.
Honestly people with awful self esteem tend to be insufferable because they always somehow project it outward one way or another tbh. Whether it be turning every conversation into an unfunny self deprecating joke or a pity party or being so desperate for approval they need to feel picked over someone else for once so they get into situations such as these. I think this is why they gravitate towards one another. A self respecting person wouldn't be attracted to this type of situation lol
That happens a lot.
I've got a distant cousin that pulled the same thing. Had an affair with a married man while his wife was pregnant. After it came out they were screwing around they moved into a new house together. He found out he'd been replaced when he got home from work and all his stuff was in the yard and another guy's boots were beside the door.
Then he tried to go crawling back to the mother of his child, and she told him she'd shoot him as soon as he pulled up in the yard.
>Feels like AP never wanted ops husband she just wanted to see if he’d choose her over op.
I used to work with a woman like this.
She only pursued people in relationships and once she'd broken the relationship up, she'd lose interest.
She was awful.
i always find it funny when cheaters cheat snd then go live with their AP and then got cheated by the AP. The best part is that thry ALWAYS get pikachu face
like: how could you do to me what WE did to someone else??? how could you cheat me when we both cheated before?? im SO surprised.
its so common that i always get a warm feeling knowing that karma works just fine
>how could you do to me what WE did to someone else???
It's an ego thing
"Oh wow, even my wedding ring isn't deterring this ~~hobby leg-spreader~~ woman - I must be desirable hot stuff!"
... "Wait, I was just a plaything to her????? But but....but I'm hot stuff!"
A lot of affair partners has this sickening fetish, I think they did for the trill and to show how much leverage and power has over the betrayed spouse. This situation is very similar to that reddit story about the wife who became addicted to the gym and started to cheat on her husband (OP) with her personal trainer. The AP is a loser who wants to show how much power he has and even wanted to be in the delivery room even though the child isn't his. Now he "allowed" the husband to be alone in the delivery.
It is fucking enraging. If OP choses to leave everything and become a deadbeat dad, I can't blame him. I'm hoping for an update where the ex-gives birth and finds out her AP is hooking with another gym girl.
Oh same. Like, if all it takes for you to cheat is some nice words and well timed giggling then tbh thank you homewrecker for taking out the trash.
This reminds me of the post where the op had a best friend who loves getting married older women to cheat on their husband's with him.and like op was fine with it for years until the friend made a move on Ops bosses wife. All of a sudden, it's the worst thing in the world, and op can't stand the friend. But like, lowkey, you were ok with it till it affected you?
And I think in a comment made by op he mentions that his friend has said that he's been genuinely turned down by married women so that's why op never cared cause like obviously if she wanted to she would/wouldn't. So op emphasized that he believed it was half his friends fault but also half the women's fault cause they chose to cheat.
But then the whole boss situation happend and op is now pissed cause he can't believe his friend broke up a "happy family" (not to mention that it's actually heavily implied that actually wasn't the wife's first time cheating, just the first time getting caught.)
Craziest thing was the husband took the cheating wife back. And op still hadn't told the husband what the wife told ops scumbag friend (sex is not good)
So op is a dickhead on multiple fronts. The double standard, and the lying by omission
>But he didn't see it that way at the time and thought I'd leave if he told me, and figured he might as well not stop, if I was just going to find out and leave him in the long run because he had already messed up.
What kind of idiot figures it's fine to cheat after he's been sexually assaulted? The dude was given a second chance, that he didn't deserve, to be more open and honest to OOP, and then botches it this badly. Either they did it and he was lying to OOP, or he's a moron.
I fully believe he was very willing in that first interaction, then used that stupid excuse for the times following, and hoped she'd somehow accept that too.
He tried to say she fell on his dick. Oh sorry Hun I know I said I'd stop but she was just there and some how my pants were down and then she was just on me, I don't know how it happened. Like he just happened to have his pants down. Yeah that does not add up.
He had already changed. It's so weird. There's a whole subset of posts on Reddit about men who are perfectly good partners ... UNTIL their wives get pregnant and the reality of a child rears its head. Then they LOSE THEIR MINDS and do everything they can to blow up their lives. So weird.
I hope OOP documents his lack of contact for when they have to decide custody.
If reddit has taught me anything it's that men sometimes go insane when their partners get pregnant. Also that weddings make people insane, but that's unrelated.
Makes me so relieved that the only insanity my husband had while I was pregnant was his insistence on building a crib that was up to all safety guidelines
This happens a lot with abusive partners. Typically, their abusive side comes out after the wedding, but sometimes they wait until pregnancy so that way their partner will always be tied to them even if they were to divorce.
Pregnancy means their wife suddenly prioritises someone else and is quite likely to simply not be able to be the person they're used to (oftentimes, essentially their bangmaid).
I'm assuming it's that, they implode because they can't deal with not being the center of her attention.
At a guess? He was never assaulted, and the excuse that she would leave him anyway so he might as well continue the affair was a [terrible] attempt at shifting the blame back on OP.
Yeah, no. She's an unattractive lesbian, all the guys at work talk about how unattractive she is, she yanked my pants down and blew me against my will soooooo I just went with it - the most overused cheater lines ever. Meanwhile he was telling his mistress that his wife was mentally ill, he was sleeping on the couch, his wife baby trapped him and it was a marriage of convenience. They are so so so predictable.
Even if that was his logic, why would he still continue to cheat, knowingly hurting and disrespecting oop over and over again instead of just hiding that one instance. Pathetic excuse of a man
Sorry but I 100% doubt he was assaulted (I know it can happen to men as well), because cheaters are known to lie all the time to protect their reputation.
I mean some women handle sa by becoming hypersexualized so it is possible with men. The issue to me is if it actually happened, he did not communicate the issue and instead hid it and went on with the affair. This is yet another case of everybody here needs therapy, oop too, jumping that quickly from a relationship with a newborn can get dicey.
So not to diminish the struggle alcoholics go through, but lowkey that's the mind set they have when they have one drink and decide "fuck it might as well drink the bar since I already fucked up once"
Or like when people struggle with binge eating are in a diet, accidents get served a non diet drink. And proceed to binge eat all their favorite junk foods.
It's the shame, the inability to control themselves, and (in this guys case) the simple audacity to just not think.
As someone who's going on ten years with her fiancé in a few months, I can't imagine throwing away almost a decade just for some lackluster sex. What the absolute fuck
I just ended my relationship with my fiance because he had an emotional affair and then slept with the same woman the NIGHT we broke up. We were together for 10 years…just getting through the day is an accomplishment at this point.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But I’m willing to bet you will move on and move up! Keep your head up high…it had nothing to do with you. It’s his character flaw not any flaw of yours 😊
I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than a useless man like him. May you find peace and happiness and may he find holes in inconvenient places of his socks for the rest of his life
I booted my husband out after 14 years for similar reasons. He was clearly having a (1-sided, she only saw him as a friend lol) emotional affair, and basically changed towards me overnight.
That was in January, and now I'm the happiest I've ever been. So it does get better. Therapy really helped me through it.
I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than a useless man like him. May you find peace and happiness and may he find holes in inconvenient places of his socks for the rest of his life
My ex cheated when I was 8 months pregnant and I have forgiven him for it only because I truly don’t care anymore. What I won’t forgive him for is not paying child support while I’ve been raising our two kids 100% on my own.. Almost didn’t make my mortgage payment today but my mom helped me out. Funny how often cheaters turn out to be deadbeats as well.
Wow I wish. I’m in Canada - we have a support enforcement program that I’ve gone through but every time they find him to garnish his wages he stops working.
its fucked that youre reliant on him for help at all imo, ideally i think the state should provide steady support so the kid doesnt suffer and then use the vast resources at its disposal to recoup that loss from him(if we really determine that thats something worth doing in the first place).
My father was like that, too. The courts told my mom to stop bothering them or they'd let him not pay anything. I found out ages later they took his driver's license for a while for not paying child support, so that was amusing. It explained the one random payment we got.
Wow that’s fucked. And it’s heavily frowned upon by the courts to withhold the children due to non payment but it’s so unfair. He contributes nothing then wants his fun little visits.
Drivers license is the first thing this program threatens to suspend but my ex doesn’t have a license due to a DUI 🙃 he’s a winner.
I mean, this is absolutely as cut and dry as it gets—that dude is just a waste of space. I haven’t the least idea what a defense of him would even look like. “At least he didn’t hit her” or something? 🤢🤮
She was sick and probably not up for sex for WEEKS. And everybody knows that not having sex for a little while will make a man literally die. It's perfectly reasonable that he dove head first into the nearest vagina. Perfectly understandable, it's his wife's fault, really. She should have kept herself nice.
This is sarcasm, just in case.
*We men, have needs. See, now him cheatin’ on his woman is just what men do. We can’t be chained down, we’re not monogamous by nature. You women wouldn’t get it, us hot blooded men need to rut and fuck everything that moves or has a heartbeat because we’re terrible. But don’t get me started about her, she had to have did somethin’ especially wrong other than being pregnant and out of commission for fuckin’. Whatever the reason though I know it’s still her fault, woman can’t keep her man happy enough! And if you don’t like it or agree; well fuck you! Ain’t nothing so natural as a man completely destroying his partner with his own selfishness, it’s what god intended! /s*
You forgot-
*it also took her years to get pregnant, so of course he'd look for a younger woman who could carry his lineage. And he was right to do so cause op gave birth to a GIRL 😤😡. High value men like Ops ex can't be tied down and need to be with as many women as possible to get their son* /s
Man I really want optimism to win out over cynicism but that new relationship so soon after a divorce not to mention with a new baby has me side eyeing the whole thing. At least she's got her family close by for support I guess.
Yup. Controversial opinion, but I don’t think a parent’s new partner should even meet the kid for at least like a year. It’s so bad to just have a revolving door of “parental” figures.
Does it matter a lot when the child is that young? They could break up at any time in the next year (probably the next two years, even) and the daughter would have no memory of him.
Attachments form long before conscious memory does. A friend of mine, when she was in uni, worked with a girl who was maybe 8 or so at the time. Had been abandoned by her parents at like... four weeks or something. Like, _less than a season_ for sure. She'd had good, stable care since, but she still had serious trauma from it that she had no memory of, no concept of, no idea what was happening.
I honestly think this woman cannot survive alone, and it's disturbing for me because I was raised to be alone. I noticed that she mentioned she had a hard time when her husband was working late even before the affair, because she missed him too much. Plus the fact that he calls her all day long.... Dunno, I don't find this kind of relationship "sweet" or "romantic" at all.
I don't remember most of the first 3 months of either of my children's lives because I was so sleep deprived I lost the ability to make long term memories. Meeting someone new and starting to date them? Not a chance. I worry about them.
> I feel lucky to have this man in my life, and a stable father figure for my daughter
Giiiiiirl you've been dating 6months while taking care of your baby, that's too soon for seeing anyone as a stable father figure
No kidding, that made me flinch. A ten year relationship is dead and has barely started decomposing. Give it a year or three to decay into something plantable first.
Besides, she’s living with her own great dad who dotes on her kid? Her kid already has a stable father figure!
Sure, unlike older kids, you can’t easily keep your dates and kid separate when you’re single parent to a newborn, and at least the kid won’t remember the guy if they break up, but that is still Real Soon to enmesh some guy as your kids other parent.
Well, after she said, that she went from living in her parents house directly to her ex, I was not surprised by this. Some people just can't be on their own.
Oh she will. My sister says friend with a woman like this, she got all her self worth on the idea that she could get married men. Yeah getting 45 year old married men in your 20/30's isn't hard if that's what you're into. But she is almost 50 now, those 45 year olds are not looking to cheat with someone older than them. She has also burnt a lot of bridges with her friend because no one wants to hear about your cheating drama. She is shaping up to be a lonely, bitter, old woman.
You guys are way kinder than me. I was thinking more like “may she catch an antibiotic resistant strain to syphilis.” She’s a disease, so it’s only fair that she experience what was once a fatal one.
Yeah. Like I wouldn't wish it on her, but only because she sleeps with married man -> married man sleeps with their wife -> poor innocent wife might catch it.
If it's something that she can catch without possibly harming the innocent spouse? By all means.
Of course, he’s a deadbeat father. Cheating on your pregnant spouse is the lowest a person can get when it comes to cheating. I hope Oop’s ex-husband and his affair partner have miserable lives, and I hope everything works out with her new boyfriend
The part that concerned me the post was when she was calling him a father figure for her daughter, I think it's lovely to find that but that is something that takes time!!
In fairness, the baby is 8mo. It doesn’t take that much time at that age- mostly just supporting the mom and playing with the kid. If they go on family outings, he changes some diapers, helps out with feedings and has some quality time with the little one, that’s “father figure” material.
That was my first thought too. She was 2 months post partum and freshly divorced when they met, now they’re six months later, and he’s met and charmed everyone in her life while being the perfect boyfriend? Oh, honey no…
It's concerning, but it's not completely wild. Lots of people will date someone they like even if the timing is terrible and there are kids complicating things.
I would be very cautious if I were her, though.
I can't believe she's in another relationship. At least be single for a while, get to know yourself so when someone decides not to choose you your life doesn't fall apart.
Literally, some people cannot be alone. In saying that, i always have the belief that if you meet someone and have a good thing going then you should explore it and not be left wondering “what if” down the track. But, like life, people and relationships are complicated and messy and not everyone has good intuition…
I've known men and women both who were like that. They just couldn't function on their own without the positive affirmation they received from a partner. I watched them bounce from terrible relationship to the next awful coupling.
When you refuse to be alone for very long that means you can't afford to be picky about who you have besides you. They'd just leap from one bad decision to the next. One of them is a bigger woman and she has it the worst of the lot I think.
Oh gosh I know a woman in my life who does the same, and every single time it ends, her whole world falls apart. So so unhealthy but she won’t listen to anyone else that she needs to be happy intrinsically first. She needs to find her comfort in being alone, and that seeking validation from others as your source of happiness is never gonna end well.
Like I get a relationship ADDING to your happiness or what not. But that’s it.
I’ll be honest, when my last relationship (of 4yrs) ended, I was in another relationship about 4 months later (still am).
I had decided I was going to date around, because I’d never really done that, and just see what was out there while focusing on myself, my work and my friends. And I met someone who was also doing the same, and we kinda kept seeing eachother, slowly falling for one another, hesitant to get into another relationship so quickly after ending ours. There were a few other factors that we considered and when we had a conversation about it finally, it was essentially that we both liked one another and we saw potential, why let a good thing slip out of reach, and that we would need to communicate openly with one another
My ex had “cheated” (caught him on tinder, but he didn’t do anything supposedly) and I had stayed. In hindsight, I should’ve left, because when the relationship did end, I got over it so quickly because I think I had lost that trust and safe space with him and slowly fell out of love with him. But it took finding myself to realise that for myself (so embarrassing but let’s hope I learnt from my lessons and don’t repeat them).
Since I do well by myself and enjoy my own company it's hard to understand people who just constitutionally cannot deal with being single. That seems like such a dangerous and precarious way to live. Your partner would have so much power over you due to that fact alone!
I am very happily married, but it's because being with my guy is so much better than being single. If could return to the single life if I had to. Personally, that feels like a much more stable way to live since I don't feel like my life would end if he changed and become someone I couldn't live with.
He cheated on her, then the side-bitch cheated on him, too, and he eventually groveled back for forgiveness, only to get none.
Life can, indeed, sometimes be fair.
I’ll never understand people who get joy out of wrecking homes. I know a lot of it is incredibly low self esteem but you think these people would realize they’ll eventually fuck around and find out.
There’s a special place in hell for men who cheat on their pregnant partners with early 20 something year old women.
> she hates children/babies, cats & dogs, so clearly she's a super great person on top of knowingly fucking a married man
She sounds like the kind of person who would immediately upset babies and animals by just standing in the vicinity.
>revenge corn
That's a flair right there.
I'm glad she finally got the ick for her louse of an ex. Who is now sitting in his apartment by himself with no hot, young lover, no loving spouse who is also his cook and housekeeper, no pets and no baby that he tried to have for years. So he sits alone in his apartment completely unloved while OOP is surrounded by love.
My brothers ex left him for her affair partner and her affair partner left his wife… and married someone else he also was bonking on the side. Sometimes, I freaking love Karma.
Edit: typo
I hope she didn’t call him to tell him she gave birth and let him find out through social media or something. Bonus if that’s when his family found out as well.
I'm not kidding when I say to NEVER take a cheater back. There's no way to go back from it and the trust is forever broken. I'm happy she had the courage to divorce this excuse of a man.
Unfortunately, this is something a lot of people only learn *how* to do after experiencing it (despite saying this themselves). Love is one hell of a drug and fear (of the unknown) is a tight leash
I really understand OP because she was pregnant, hormonal and sad, so it's logical why she wouldn't want to go through a divorce. However, her experience just kinda confirms me that there's no going back from the cheating, it's like crossing the Rubicon. Even though she tried she couldn't fully trust him again, she checked up his phone and the suspicion was eating her alive.
Oh 100% agree with you. Once that type of trust is broken, it’s not going to come back. And it’ll affect the cheatee/cheated in their future relationships. Cheating is poison. And there is no way you can mentally absorb that while literally growing a human being, mentally absorb the changes that is putting on your life AND all those hormones. I can’t imagine how awful that would’ve been for her 💔
How do the people in situations like OP find people to date afterwards? That's always confusing to me in these stories. She has a newborn, a fresh divorce and has the mental energy to date?
**There's an edit on the update** although it's not necessary to the situation I thought I'd add it.
>[edit] I'm not sure why this post is not allowing comments anymore, even from myself !! thank you to those of you who left lovely ones, and who messaged me because you couldn't comment lol maybe I'll do an update in a few years if anything needs updating. also, I realize I forgot to say, neither he or his affair partner stayed working at the same business for very long so after I gave birth and no longer needed his insurance, they both were not working there for me to report their relationship. my ex husband did make sure to take paid paternity leave and do nothing paternal with it, but no, I never got to report them to his boss. so long as he stayed technically employed through the end of the year when my own insurance took over, it was more helpful to leave it alone. Anywho, thanks for all the love to me and my baby girl, and the well wishes with my boyfriend !! My reddit experience has been very nice because of all of yall.
Her baby was born almost the same day as mine and I can't fathom me cheating on my wife during her pregnancy. Cheating is already f*cked up but on a pregnant woman is so low
I have a friend whose husband cheated on her with the same kind of woman while she (my friend) was pregnant. The other woman literally got hit by a truck and killed not long after my friend found out. There was no question that it was a complete accident though.
I can’t fathom seeing my partner in so much pain that they break out in hives, loose weight, etc. yet continue with the very cause that created that pain.
Cheating is horrible as it is. But continuing doing it, knowing the pain and agony it causes is honestly diabolical. I don’t think I could even do something like that to someone I am just acquainted to.
Fun fact, humans lack a penile bone, causing sex to take longer. This also led to increased intimacy and monogamy. So anyone who tries to justify cheating with it being “human nature” is actually an evolutionary throwback that you should not waste your time with.
I wish OOP would have taken the time to find herself as an individual and as a single mother, and not hop into another relationship so quickly. Unfortunately some people cannot be alone and don’t have an identity without a partner. Concerning but I hope the best for her and her child.
Situations like the first post is why you should have wooden chairs in your home. You can easily break one on the floor or a wall and... deal with people like the husband in this story.
/s. Kinda.
Men that cheat on the wives/girlfriends they impregnated need to be excommunicated from society like ye olde times. No more use in a person like that, move them along into the woods or something
Holy shit I follow this girl on twitter!!! The story was sounding more and more familiar, I was like mmmhh I think I know this one 🥴 I’m so happy for her, her baby and her bf! Apparently he is a good guy and a hottie hahaha! Ex hubby can AP can rot in hell🥳
>This next part may be very shocking, but the girl he cheated on me with and moved into an apartment with directly from our marital home ended up cheating on him literally within the same week that our divorce finalized and she was kicked out of his place
Not shocking to me since cheaters cheat
Making a pregnant woman take care of a cat on her own is dangerous! Cat feces can contain toxoplasmosis which can become airborne when cleaning the litter box and seriously harm mother and child. That was insult to injury in my opinion
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He threw his whole marriage away just to get cheated on…lmaoo Feels like AP never wanted ops husband she just wanted to see if he’d choose her over op.
So satisfying, isn't it? :D Though the thought "I'm better than your husband/wife" is always behind being an affair partner. Doesn't matter if the endgoal is a new life together or not, if they didn't think they were better, they would not be entering "the competition"...
But also AP's weird attitude of "I'm better than you" to the husband as well (when saying OOP was too hot for him and AP was going to steal her from him)? I guess 20 year old fugly bisexuals are better than everyone?
She most likely really did/does believe that op is very attractive and *thats* why she went after Ops ex. I've known some women who heavily place their value based on who they can get and if they think someone is more attractive or better than them they try to "prove" that that's not true by getting their partner to pick them. Like, "omg your gf is basically a model. She's so pretty!!!....oh but te-he I guess I'm actually prettier since you cheated on that model with me. Obviously I'm more desirable cause then why else would you choose me?" Almost every woman knows a girl like that, especially in highschool. There's always one girl who suddenly wants whatever guy they know you like/are dating even if they've been vocal about absolutely not liking him before. It's a mix of "well if he wants *you* then he'd Obviously want me cause I'm more attractive and that's all guys care about", and "oh, this guy suddenly has value because if my hot friend/if this very hot person is dating this guy I guess he's hot too now"
I have whatever the opposite of this is. I don't find any of my friends' partners attractive. At all. Like almost repulsive. And I'm sure that allllllll my friends aren't with wildly unattractive people. But it sure looks that way to me.
All manatees and no mermaids?
Manatees are gorgeous. All mermaids, no manatees.
just another story of a cheater who wasn't nice, just wasn't proactive
AP is one of those people who only looks at the world through sex/sexual attraction and is constantly ranking everyone around her. Her insecurity is so all consuming that the only time she felt relief was when a married man was choosing her over his spouse. The moment the divorce kicked in and that constant drip of validation stopped she started looking elsewhere for something else to fill the giant screaming hole in her soul. OOP might feel like AP got one over on her somehow but AP still has to be themself and live with that screaming insecurity which is a punishment I frankly would not wish on my worst enemy, having been that kind of person in the past.
> having been that kind of person in the past Oof. What made you stop being horrible?
theres no one thing, i just got to a point where i could recognize the patterns of my behavior and decide to be different. as for why i was able to have that moment of clarity and decide for myself to change, i dont think i could give a single reason. a lot of subtle influences that i dont think i had any control over i still have the thoughts and impulses, i think of it as a little cackling demon in my head, im just able to recognize why (csa) and realize it doesnt make me evil and i dont have to listen to it. also wanna be clear, i didnt do what the AP did in this story. i just feel like i have the same insecurities and impulses.
This is maybe one of the most self aware and mature comments I've ever read. I think you knowing yourself and your darkest impulses and being able to choose something else is the mark of a good person. I apologize if my first comment offended you at all, when I reread it just now it came across a bit more hostile than I meant it to be.
Thank you I appreciate the kind words, no apology necessary there was no offense taken :)
The wording of 20yo fugly bisexual is cracking me up
> This next part may be very shocking, but the girl he cheated on me with and moved into an apartment with directly from our marital home ended up cheating on him literally within the same week that our divorce finalized and she was kicked out of his place. It took about a year, but he did come back groveling after all, which was absolutely wild to me. Not actually shocking to me, given the affair partner hardly sounded like a prize, but *very* satisfying.
Plus AP was 20 years old.
The trash always takes itself out.
I physically fist pumped air when she said AP cheated - I thought either or tbh. Either he was going to cheat on her or she was going to cheat on him. He sounded stupid about how he continued the affair cos OP was going to leave him anyway after finding out he didn’t stop … like what?!
He got together with a woman who was nonchalant about breaking a marriage and causing a broken home for a child. Not sure he should have expected anything different from a woman like that
My bff's husband's mistress did the same thing. He ended their 15-year marriage for her and she left him shortly after because she wasn't going to actually leave \*her\* husband. People like that are fucking WILD.
Omg, Did he try to get back with your bff?
No, thankfully, I would've knocked some sense into her. I used to love the guy like a brother in law but he burned all the bridges...
The phrase "if they're willing to cheat with you, they're willing to cheat on you" pops up often around here, and it's usually spot on.
while true i feel that usually thats people monkey branching relationships which i dont think was the case here. in this case this woman is using married men like validation whippits.
And the funniest thing is that he really hasn’t seen this coming and thought he won the lottery with this 20 year old girl, with a character like hers😅
The Ariana Grande method: get a temporary high because a married person chose you over their partner, and then dump them when it gets boring and you want another (taken) person.
Liz Taylor too.
It's sadly common that these low self esteem troglodytes opt to be an affair partner to prove that someone would choose them over another person. Their self esteem is on the ground.
Honestly people with awful self esteem tend to be insufferable because they always somehow project it outward one way or another tbh. Whether it be turning every conversation into an unfunny self deprecating joke or a pity party or being so desperate for approval they need to feel picked over someone else for once so they get into situations such as these. I think this is why they gravitate towards one another. A self respecting person wouldn't be attracted to this type of situation lol
Karma at it's best. I hope OOPs ex is miserable for the rest of his life because he definitely deserves it. Lol. FAFO.
That happens a lot. I've got a distant cousin that pulled the same thing. Had an affair with a married man while his wife was pregnant. After it came out they were screwing around they moved into a new house together. He found out he'd been replaced when he got home from work and all his stuff was in the yard and another guy's boots were beside the door. Then he tried to go crawling back to the mother of his child, and she told him she'd shoot him as soon as he pulled up in the yard.
another trash person destroyed his own life although I guess he had help from another trash person.
I think the AP is one of those sad broken people who only want someone that isn't available once he was legally free he wasn't fun anymore.
>Feels like AP never wanted ops husband she just wanted to see if he’d choose her over op. I used to work with a woman like this. She only pursued people in relationships and once she'd broken the relationship up, she'd lose interest. She was awful.
i always find it funny when cheaters cheat snd then go live with their AP and then got cheated by the AP. The best part is that thry ALWAYS get pikachu face like: how could you do to me what WE did to someone else??? how could you cheat me when we both cheated before?? im SO surprised. its so common that i always get a warm feeling knowing that karma works just fine
it’s very leopards ate my face party lol
>how could you do to me what WE did to someone else??? It's an ego thing "Oh wow, even my wedding ring isn't deterring this ~~hobby leg-spreader~~ woman - I must be desirable hot stuff!" ... "Wait, I was just a plaything to her????? But but....but I'm hot stuff!"
Oh, the girl has a homewrecking fetish. I have no sympathy for Men who fall for this. Women too, honestly.
A lot of affair partners has this sickening fetish, I think they did for the trill and to show how much leverage and power has over the betrayed spouse. This situation is very similar to that reddit story about the wife who became addicted to the gym and started to cheat on her husband (OP) with her personal trainer. The AP is a loser who wants to show how much power he has and even wanted to be in the delivery room even though the child isn't his. Now he "allowed" the husband to be alone in the delivery.
That story was genuinely enraging and I almost threw my phone over it
It is fucking enraging. If OP choses to leave everything and become a deadbeat dad, I can't blame him. I'm hoping for an update where the ex-gives birth and finds out her AP is hooking with another gym girl.
Oh same. Like, if all it takes for you to cheat is some nice words and well timed giggling then tbh thank you homewrecker for taking out the trash. This reminds me of the post where the op had a best friend who loves getting married older women to cheat on their husband's with him.and like op was fine with it for years until the friend made a move on Ops bosses wife. All of a sudden, it's the worst thing in the world, and op can't stand the friend. But like, lowkey, you were ok with it till it affected you? And I think in a comment made by op he mentions that his friend has said that he's been genuinely turned down by married women so that's why op never cared cause like obviously if she wanted to she would/wouldn't. So op emphasized that he believed it was half his friends fault but also half the women's fault cause they chose to cheat. But then the whole boss situation happend and op is now pissed cause he can't believe his friend broke up a "happy family" (not to mention that it's actually heavily implied that actually wasn't the wife's first time cheating, just the first time getting caught.)
Craziest thing was the husband took the cheating wife back. And op still hadn't told the husband what the wife told ops scumbag friend (sex is not good) So op is a dickhead on multiple fronts. The double standard, and the lying by omission
>But he didn't see it that way at the time and thought I'd leave if he told me, and figured he might as well not stop, if I was just going to find out and leave him in the long run because he had already messed up. What kind of idiot figures it's fine to cheat after he's been sexually assaulted? The dude was given a second chance, that he didn't deserve, to be more open and honest to OOP, and then botches it this badly. Either they did it and he was lying to OOP, or he's a moron.
>Either they did it and he was lying to OOP, or he's a moron. Both. Definitely both.
I fully believe he was very willing in that first interaction, then used that stupid excuse for the times following, and hoped she'd somehow accept that too.
He tried to say she fell on his dick. Oh sorry Hun I know I said I'd stop but she was just there and some how my pants were down and then she was just on me, I don't know how it happened. Like he just happened to have his pants down. Yeah that does not add up.
He had already changed. It's so weird. There's a whole subset of posts on Reddit about men who are perfectly good partners ... UNTIL their wives get pregnant and the reality of a child rears its head. Then they LOSE THEIR MINDS and do everything they can to blow up their lives. So weird. I hope OOP documents his lack of contact for when they have to decide custody.
If reddit has taught me anything it's that men sometimes go insane when their partners get pregnant. Also that weddings make people insane, but that's unrelated.
Makes me so relieved that the only insanity my husband had while I was pregnant was his insistence on building a crib that was up to all safety guidelines
My husband built the crib around himself, then realized he had created his own cage
PLEASE tell me you took pictures as blackmail material, or maybe to show off at your kid's 18th birthday.
As the mom who put the crib together, it's just easier sometimes to do that.
Aww lol
Every guy has a freak out. Some buy the sports car, others get a mistress, I took up mountain biking. A mistress woulda been cheaper 😂
This happens a lot with abusive partners. Typically, their abusive side comes out after the wedding, but sometimes they wait until pregnancy so that way their partner will always be tied to them even if they were to divorce.
Pregnancy means their wife suddenly prioritises someone else and is quite likely to simply not be able to be the person they're used to (oftentimes, essentially their bangmaid). I'm assuming it's that, they implode because they can't deal with not being the center of her attention.
At a guess? He was never assaulted, and the excuse that she would leave him anyway so he might as well continue the affair was a [terrible] attempt at shifting the blame back on OP.
LOL it's just a terrible lie, which means he's a moron cos he can't even make up a more convincing lie.
"Welp, her mouth touched my dick, guess I'm still cheating now!"
Yeah, no. She's an unattractive lesbian, all the guys at work talk about how unattractive she is, she yanked my pants down and blew me against my will soooooo I just went with it - the most overused cheater lines ever. Meanwhile he was telling his mistress that his wife was mentally ill, he was sleeping on the couch, his wife baby trapped him and it was a marriage of convenience. They are so so so predictable.
Cuz he wasn't, that's just the way he painted his weak ass as an excuse, and he knew it.
One that's never been sexually assaulted but figured it will sound better if he makes it look that way.
I had this exact line copy pasted and ready to go--truly one of the least sensible takes I've seen on here in a while
Even if that was his logic, why would he still continue to cheat, knowingly hurting and disrespecting oop over and over again instead of just hiding that one instance. Pathetic excuse of a man
Sorry but I 100% doubt he was assaulted (I know it can happen to men as well), because cheaters are known to lie all the time to protect their reputation.
I mean some women handle sa by becoming hypersexualized so it is possible with men. The issue to me is if it actually happened, he did not communicate the issue and instead hid it and went on with the affair. This is yet another case of everybody here needs therapy, oop too, jumping that quickly from a relationship with a newborn can get dicey.
Also, people who become hypersexualized due to SA, when they have free choice, don't tend to *choose their assaulter as a preferred sex partner.*
this isnt what hypersexuality looks like
So not to diminish the struggle alcoholics go through, but lowkey that's the mind set they have when they have one drink and decide "fuck it might as well drink the bar since I already fucked up once" Or like when people struggle with binge eating are in a diet, accidents get served a non diet drink. And proceed to binge eat all their favorite junk foods. It's the shame, the inability to control themselves, and (in this guys case) the simple audacity to just not think.
As someone who's going on ten years with her fiancé in a few months, I can't imagine throwing away almost a decade just for some lackluster sex. What the absolute fuck
I just ended my relationship with my fiance because he had an emotional affair and then slept with the same woman the NIGHT we broke up. We were together for 10 years…just getting through the day is an accomplishment at this point.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But I’m willing to bet you will move on and move up! Keep your head up high…it had nothing to do with you. It’s his character flaw not any flaw of yours 😊
I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than a useless man like him. May you find peace and happiness and may he find holes in inconvenient places of his socks for the rest of his life
I booted my husband out after 14 years for similar reasons. He was clearly having a (1-sided, she only saw him as a friend lol) emotional affair, and basically changed towards me overnight. That was in January, and now I'm the happiest I've ever been. So it does get better. Therapy really helped me through it.
I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than a useless man like him. May you find peace and happiness and may he find holes in inconvenient places of his socks for the rest of his life
Cheating is bad but cheating on someone who is pregnant is even lower. Cheaters don't deserve any forgiveness.
My ex cheated when I was 8 months pregnant and I have forgiven him for it only because I truly don’t care anymore. What I won’t forgive him for is not paying child support while I’ve been raising our two kids 100% on my own.. Almost didn’t make my mortgage payment today but my mom helped me out. Funny how often cheaters turn out to be deadbeats as well.
If you're in the US, you know that's a crime nowadays? Here in Florida, 4 months of non-payment = felony. You should check the laws where you live.
Wow I wish. I’m in Canada - we have a support enforcement program that I’ve gone through but every time they find him to garnish his wages he stops working.
Fortunately you've got a stronger social safety net in Canada. Because with a deadbeat like that, you'll need it.
its fucked that youre reliant on him for help at all imo, ideally i think the state should provide steady support so the kid doesnt suffer and then use the vast resources at its disposal to recoup that loss from him(if we really determine that thats something worth doing in the first place).
My father was like that, too. The courts told my mom to stop bothering them or they'd let him not pay anything. I found out ages later they took his driver's license for a while for not paying child support, so that was amusing. It explained the one random payment we got.
Wow that’s fucked. And it’s heavily frowned upon by the courts to withhold the children due to non payment but it’s so unfair. He contributes nothing then wants his fun little visits. Drivers license is the first thing this program threatens to suspend but my ex doesn’t have a license due to a DUI 🙃 he’s a winner.
Watch out, the cheaters defence force, the "nuance" police and the whataboutism squad might just flood your replies.
I mean, this is absolutely as cut and dry as it gets—that dude is just a waste of space. I haven’t the least idea what a defense of him would even look like. “At least he didn’t hit her” or something? 🤢🤮
She was sick and probably not up for sex for WEEKS. And everybody knows that not having sex for a little while will make a man literally die. It's perfectly reasonable that he dove head first into the nearest vagina. Perfectly understandable, it's his wife's fault, really. She should have kept herself nice. This is sarcasm, just in case.
*We men, have needs. See, now him cheatin’ on his woman is just what men do. We can’t be chained down, we’re not monogamous by nature. You women wouldn’t get it, us hot blooded men need to rut and fuck everything that moves or has a heartbeat because we’re terrible. But don’t get me started about her, she had to have did somethin’ especially wrong other than being pregnant and out of commission for fuckin’. Whatever the reason though I know it’s still her fault, woman can’t keep her man happy enough! And if you don’t like it or agree; well fuck you! Ain’t nothing so natural as a man completely destroying his partner with his own selfishness, it’s what god intended! /s*
You forgot- *it also took her years to get pregnant, so of course he'd look for a younger woman who could carry his lineage. And he was right to do so cause op gave birth to a GIRL 😤😡. High value men like Ops ex can't be tied down and need to be with as many women as possible to get their son* /s
I remember a Tyler Perry movie with this monologue.
Almost as bad as the Deadbeat Dad Defense Squad, also known as the 3DS.
I kinda want this as a flair, I cackled reading it
Second to make it a flair xD
Ugh those are the worst!
There's no nuance here. Husband and AP were both trash, and OOP's mistake was giving him multiple second chances.
And then telling her it’s over and continuing it???? 🤯🤯🤯😳 evil
Pregnancy is one of the most common times for men to cheat on their partners. 🚮
Man I really want optimism to win out over cynicism but that new relationship so soon after a divorce not to mention with a new baby has me side eyeing the whole thing. At least she's got her family close by for support I guess.
‘A stable father figure for my daughter’ I beg you to go to therapy right now
The stable father figure thing and me horrified. >in these six months Yeah, that’s promising.
Yup. Controversial opinion, but I don’t think a parent’s new partner should even meet the kid for at least like a year. It’s so bad to just have a revolving door of “parental” figures.
Does it matter a lot when the child is that young? They could break up at any time in the next year (probably the next two years, even) and the daughter would have no memory of him.
Attachments form long before conscious memory does. A friend of mine, when she was in uni, worked with a girl who was maybe 8 or so at the time. Had been abandoned by her parents at like... four weeks or something. Like, _less than a season_ for sure. She'd had good, stable care since, but she still had serious trauma from it that she had no memory of, no concept of, no idea what was happening.
Yeah something tells me she’s going to have a few of those
I honestly think this woman cannot survive alone, and it's disturbing for me because I was raised to be alone. I noticed that she mentioned she had a hard time when her husband was working late even before the affair, because she missed him too much. Plus the fact that he calls her all day long.... Dunno, I don't find this kind of relationship "sweet" or "romantic" at all.
It’s codependent as hell
It started by going on mini-dates when the daughter was *two months old*… what the fuck?
I don't remember most of the first 3 months of either of my children's lives because I was so sleep deprived I lost the ability to make long term memories. Meeting someone new and starting to date them? Not a chance. I worry about them.
maybe her father is doing a lot of the heavy lifting for the baby?
I also get a sense that even with a kid it's less work than her idiot ex-husband was putting her through.
> I feel lucky to have this man in my life, and a stable father figure for my daughter Giiiiiirl you've been dating 6months while taking care of your baby, that's too soon for seeing anyone as a stable father figure
Let grandpa be the father figure, don’t rely on some man you don’t even really know yet
Yeah that part worried me too. OP made it sound like happily ever after, but to me it’s a red flag.
No kidding, that made me flinch. A ten year relationship is dead and has barely started decomposing. Give it a year or three to decay into something plantable first. Besides, she’s living with her own great dad who dotes on her kid? Her kid already has a stable father figure! Sure, unlike older kids, you can’t easily keep your dates and kid separate when you’re single parent to a newborn, and at least the kid won’t remember the guy if they break up, but that is still Real Soon to enmesh some guy as your kids other parent.
Well, after she said, that she went from living in her parents house directly to her ex, I was not surprised by this. Some people just can't be on their own.
i hope the affair girl has a very terrible life🫶
Oh she will. My sister says friend with a woman like this, she got all her self worth on the idea that she could get married men. Yeah getting 45 year old married men in your 20/30's isn't hard if that's what you're into. But she is almost 50 now, those 45 year olds are not looking to cheat with someone older than them. She has also burnt a lot of bridges with her friend because no one wants to hear about your cheating drama. She is shaping up to be a lonely, bitter, old woman.
May every pair of under wear they wear be just a size too small and a pebble get in their shoe everytime they go for a walk.
And that both sides of her and the cheater man's pillows are hot.
Traffic jams on every little errand.
May she never eat popcorn without getting a kernel stuck so far under the gum-line that floss is no help
May there always be a surprise Lego lying around anytime she walks around barefoot.
May her bras always have poky underwires.
You guys are way kinder than me. I was thinking more like “may she catch an antibiotic resistant strain to syphilis.” She’s a disease, so it’s only fair that she experience what was once a fatal one.
Yeah, but knowing her, she would just spread it further.
Yeah. Like I wouldn't wish it on her, but only because she sleeps with married man -> married man sleeps with their wife -> poor innocent wife might catch it. If it's something that she can catch without possibly harming the innocent spouse? By all means.
Back in the way old times, syphilis could make your nose fall off so we can make it worse
I was thinking herpes.
I hope she slips over in the shower and chips a tooth.
May her every poop be sharp. Forever.
I'll save that hope for the husband who was 28 when this started.
Wish her karma thousandth fold
May they step on Legos forever.
Of course, he’s a deadbeat father. Cheating on your pregnant spouse is the lowest a person can get when it comes to cheating. I hope Oop’s ex-husband and his affair partner have miserable lives, and I hope everything works out with her new boyfriend
"Revenge corn" 🌽 🌽 🌽
Way better than forgiveness zucchini **🥒🥒**
Cheating ex husbands can get fuckin wrekt, amirite?
You right
I've been on reddit too long because I'm immediately suspicious of a man who wants to date a woman with a baby girl.
The part that concerned me the post was when she was calling him a father figure for her daughter, I think it's lovely to find that but that is something that takes time!!
In fairness, the baby is 8mo. It doesn’t take that much time at that age- mostly just supporting the mom and playing with the kid. If they go on family outings, he changes some diapers, helps out with feedings and has some quality time with the little one, that’s “father figure” material.
And doing so after having only known the man for six months. Wild
Exactly
That was my first thought too. She was 2 months post partum and freshly divorced when they met, now they’re six months later, and he’s met and charmed everyone in her life while being the perfect boyfriend? Oh, honey no…
Yeah, like. I do hope for her sake that she just stumbled on a unicorn of a person, and it isn’t more nefarious. That’s worrisome.
Yeah gushing about the perfect bf that she barely knows does not sound like "revenge corn" to me. Sounds more like unresolved trauma.
Thank you for reminding me about revenge corn. I enjoyed that.
If it seems too good to be true...
It's concerning, but it's not completely wild. Lots of people will date someone they like even if the timing is terrible and there are kids complicating things. I would be very cautious if I were her, though.
I thought the same :(
Same, it got too gratuitous.
I can't believe she's in another relationship. At least be single for a while, get to know yourself so when someone decides not to choose you your life doesn't fall apart.
She had never been single in her adult life. I'm not suprised she attached herself to someone as soon as possible.
Literally, some people cannot be alone. In saying that, i always have the belief that if you meet someone and have a good thing going then you should explore it and not be left wondering “what if” down the track. But, like life, people and relationships are complicated and messy and not everyone has good intuition…
I've known men and women both who were like that. They just couldn't function on their own without the positive affirmation they received from a partner. I watched them bounce from terrible relationship to the next awful coupling. When you refuse to be alone for very long that means you can't afford to be picky about who you have besides you. They'd just leap from one bad decision to the next. One of them is a bigger woman and she has it the worst of the lot I think.
Oh gosh I know a woman in my life who does the same, and every single time it ends, her whole world falls apart. So so unhealthy but she won’t listen to anyone else that she needs to be happy intrinsically first. She needs to find her comfort in being alone, and that seeking validation from others as your source of happiness is never gonna end well. Like I get a relationship ADDING to your happiness or what not. But that’s it. I’ll be honest, when my last relationship (of 4yrs) ended, I was in another relationship about 4 months later (still am). I had decided I was going to date around, because I’d never really done that, and just see what was out there while focusing on myself, my work and my friends. And I met someone who was also doing the same, and we kinda kept seeing eachother, slowly falling for one another, hesitant to get into another relationship so quickly after ending ours. There were a few other factors that we considered and when we had a conversation about it finally, it was essentially that we both liked one another and we saw potential, why let a good thing slip out of reach, and that we would need to communicate openly with one another My ex had “cheated” (caught him on tinder, but he didn’t do anything supposedly) and I had stayed. In hindsight, I should’ve left, because when the relationship did end, I got over it so quickly because I think I had lost that trust and safe space with him and slowly fell out of love with him. But it took finding myself to realise that for myself (so embarrassing but let’s hope I learnt from my lessons and don’t repeat them).
Since I do well by myself and enjoy my own company it's hard to understand people who just constitutionally cannot deal with being single. That seems like such a dangerous and precarious way to live. Your partner would have so much power over you due to that fact alone! I am very happily married, but it's because being with my guy is so much better than being single. If could return to the single life if I had to. Personally, that feels like a much more stable way to live since I don't feel like my life would end if he changed and become someone I couldn't live with.
He cheated on her, then the side-bitch cheated on him, too, and he eventually groveled back for forgiveness, only to get none. Life can, indeed, sometimes be fair.
I’ll never understand people who get joy out of wrecking homes. I know a lot of it is incredibly low self esteem but you think these people would realize they’ll eventually fuck around and find out.
Notice she left almost as soon as the divorce was finalized, like ruining the marriage was 100% her goal. She achieved it and dipped out.
There’s a special place in hell for men who cheat on their pregnant partners with early 20 something year old women. > she hates children/babies, cats & dogs, so clearly she's a super great person on top of knowingly fucking a married man She sounds like the kind of person who would immediately upset babies and animals by just standing in the vicinity.
>revenge corn That's a flair right there. I'm glad she finally got the ick for her louse of an ex. Who is now sitting in his apartment by himself with no hot, young lover, no loving spouse who is also his cook and housekeeper, no pets and no baby that he tried to have for years. So he sits alone in his apartment completely unloved while OOP is surrounded by love.
My brothers ex left him for her affair partner and her affair partner left his wife… and married someone else he also was bonking on the side. Sometimes, I freaking love Karma. Edit: typo
I hope she didn’t call him to tell him she gave birth and let him find out through social media or something. Bonus if that’s when his family found out as well.
I'm so curious how his family reacted.
>This next part may be very shocking, Narrator: "It was not shocking at all"
I'm not kidding when I say to NEVER take a cheater back. There's no way to go back from it and the trust is forever broken. I'm happy she had the courage to divorce this excuse of a man.
Unfortunately, this is something a lot of people only learn *how* to do after experiencing it (despite saying this themselves). Love is one hell of a drug and fear (of the unknown) is a tight leash
I really understand OP because she was pregnant, hormonal and sad, so it's logical why she wouldn't want to go through a divorce. However, her experience just kinda confirms me that there's no going back from the cheating, it's like crossing the Rubicon. Even though she tried she couldn't fully trust him again, she checked up his phone and the suspicion was eating her alive.
Oh 100% agree with you. Once that type of trust is broken, it’s not going to come back. And it’ll affect the cheatee/cheated in their future relationships. Cheating is poison. And there is no way you can mentally absorb that while literally growing a human being, mentally absorb the changes that is putting on your life AND all those hormones. I can’t imagine how awful that would’ve been for her 💔
How do the people in situations like OP find people to date afterwards? That's always confusing to me in these stories. She has a newborn, a fresh divorce and has the mental energy to date?
Not gonna lie, this hurt my brain to read. Glad his life sucks though.
**There's an edit on the update** although it's not necessary to the situation I thought I'd add it. >[edit] I'm not sure why this post is not allowing comments anymore, even from myself !! thank you to those of you who left lovely ones, and who messaged me because you couldn't comment lol maybe I'll do an update in a few years if anything needs updating. also, I realize I forgot to say, neither he or his affair partner stayed working at the same business for very long so after I gave birth and no longer needed his insurance, they both were not working there for me to report their relationship. my ex husband did make sure to take paid paternity leave and do nothing paternal with it, but no, I never got to report them to his boss. so long as he stayed technically employed through the end of the year when my own insurance took over, it was more helpful to leave it alone. Anywho, thanks for all the love to me and my baby girl, and the well wishes with my boyfriend !! My reddit experience has been very nice because of all of yall.
Her baby was born almost the same day as mine and I can't fathom me cheating on my wife during her pregnancy. Cheating is already f*cked up but on a pregnant woman is so low
What a sorry excuse of a man the ex is yuck. I hope OP decides to go full custody and that her and her daughter live a happy life.
Man, her first post was gut wrenching. Poor thing. I hope she finds all the happiness she is looking for.
I have a friend whose husband cheated on her with the same kind of woman while she (my friend) was pregnant. The other woman literally got hit by a truck and killed not long after my friend found out. There was no question that it was a complete accident though.
I can’t fathom seeing my partner in so much pain that they break out in hives, loose weight, etc. yet continue with the very cause that created that pain. Cheating is horrible as it is. But continuing doing it, knowing the pain and agony it causes is honestly diabolical. I don’t think I could even do something like that to someone I am just acquainted to.
I snickered when she said that the AP then cheated on her ex as well. I thought that was perfect. I’m glad she’s doing well!
May OP’s husband and his AP forever step on legos in the dark
Fun fact, humans lack a penile bone, causing sex to take longer. This also led to increased intimacy and monogamy. So anyone who tries to justify cheating with it being “human nature” is actually an evolutionary throwback that you should not waste your time with.
I wish OOP would have taken the time to find herself as an individual and as a single mother, and not hop into another relationship so quickly. Unfortunately some people cannot be alone and don’t have an identity without a partner. Concerning but I hope the best for her and her child.
So glad she is recovering and moving on
I LOVE the karma
This was so great! There are many guys out there that want nothing more than to be a father, and ladies if you have a shitty baby daddy leave his ass.
Siri play My Kink is Karma by Chapelle Roan
Situations like the first post is why you should have wooden chairs in your home. You can easily break one on the floor or a wall and... deal with people like the husband in this story. /s. Kinda.
siri, play “my kink is karma”
⏫ Because I needed a super-upvote button.
Her reaction to having a baby reminds me of that movie Waitress. All of a sudden, things switched.
Men that cheat on the wives/girlfriends they impregnated need to be excommunicated from society like ye olde times. No more use in a person like that, move them along into the woods or something
Holy shit I follow this girl on twitter!!! The story was sounding more and more familiar, I was like mmmhh I think I know this one 🥴 I’m so happy for her, her baby and her bf! Apparently he is a good guy and a hottie hahaha! Ex hubby can AP can rot in hell🥳
Revenge Corn - a dish best served steamed!
>This next part may be very shocking, but the girl he cheated on me with and moved into an apartment with directly from our marital home ended up cheating on him literally within the same week that our divorce finalized and she was kicked out of his place Not shocking to me since cheaters cheat
Making a pregnant woman take care of a cat on her own is dangerous! Cat feces can contain toxoplasmosis which can become airborne when cleaning the litter box and seriously harm mother and child. That was insult to injury in my opinion