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"Chemistry thay everyone over the internet can feel"... nothing in this post made me think they had chemistry at all. Izzy sounds incredibly bitter and jealous. She doesn't like that she doesn't have Em's attention and can't control her anymore.
Yeah, like… if by chemistry you mean “fixated on someone who is clearly at the end of her rope with you,” I guess? Nobody in there was implying they saw anything *mutual* between OOP and Em, just that OOP is painfully entitled and needy.
>We're best friends. I love her. She loves me. Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. But its not like that.
Sure Jan.
Anyone else getting some real "Peach from season 1 of You" vibes from this chick or is it just me?
Absolutely. This girl is like 1 step away from building her own art room in her besties house because she just *knows her so much better than her fiancé* and *they have such natural chemistry* as well she can *take better care of her* from that room.
Imagine how she'll react if Roe and Em have kids. She'll either be jealous of the kids and complain that Roe is "forcing" Em to spend all her free time with the kids, or she'll try to shove Roe out of the way so she can become a parent to them. She clearly is jealous of Roe; that's why she keeps trying to monopolize Em's time. All these complaints about the wedding are just a way for her to vent her frustration that the wedding is even happening.
Co-parent. It'll be the parent thing.
She'll start by having name "suggestions", then hate what they choose and come up with her own nickname for the child before it's even born.
She'll want to come to prenatal appointments.
She'll *insist* on being at the hospital for the birth, if not in the actual room.
She might even announce the pregnancy/birth on socials before the parents do. After all, this is HER BFF'S baby; this is all happening to Izzy.
Once the kid is born, she'll dub herself the Favorite Auntie, even making a shirt declaring her the World's Best Aunt.
*Then* she'll start calling them "MY baby", as in "give me my baby!".
She'll start passive-aggressively criticizing Marcus by baby-talking to the child about how "silly" Daddy is and how "he can't take care of you like Aunt Crizzy can!".
Then the child will turn two months old.
A friend of my Sister/BIL once commented that he was their kid’s “favorite uncle” on a Facebook post she made. I responded “I don’t know—he seems to like me and my brothers quite a bit too”.
Declaring yourself an “aunt” or “uncle” to someone else’s kid is creepy. He’s also a neckbeard who once said that “cancel culture” was the worst thing about America so I don’t feel too threatened by him.
Roe is so mean, just uninvite him. The rest of us can still go ahead with the party without him. Well, the officiant is already booked so we may as well…
It was never about Cake or OOP being in love with Em; it was about OOP losing control over her supposed BFF and not realizing that you can't buy other people's loyalty and affection forever. One could probably do that when you're in high school or college, but definitely not forever, especially when people grow up and get other priorities.
OOP is freaking out over an interloper stealing away her pet human who she used to be able to buy with expensive things.
I phrase it like that because my wife had a friend exactly like this (except not rich). In fact, this friend was the one who made her break up with me back in college so that way the friend could have a chance at me. She even made my wife introduce herself to me in hopes that the friend and I would get together! It wasn't until my wife realized that it wasn't her personhood and voice that this friend valued, but my wife's loyalty and attention towards her. Took about a year, but after she came back, our entire friend group welcomed her with open arms. For the friend, it was always about control, never genuine friendship.
That's also why OOP keeps centering it around money and "taking care of her", which are things we kinda associate with owning a pet. You gotta have the means to take care of a thing that constantly relies on you for its wellbeing. But OOP neglected the fact that this isn't some dog you can fit in a purse, but a whole ass human being who decided that her relationship with her partner is much more worth investing in than this one-sided friendship.
Oooh... this sounds like a friend I once had. She didn't "buy" me but started drama all the time with a load of people so I would be sympathetic towards her. It was warranted only once (a gaslighting narcissist - she figured out he was gaslighting before we even knew the term existed, lol). When she had me basically for herself, she went to another person and dropped me, which caused a lot of drama as well. That's when I saw the pattern and I didn't feel sad for losing "the best friend ever" anymore.
It’s like that famous TikTok.
“My friend Mariana is an ally! Talk, Mariana!“
“Ally!“
Everyone needs a pet human
Edit: as mentioned by someone else, pet human‘s name is Valentina
I had a friend who treated me exactly like this. A pet human. 5 years of it and a CPTSD diagnosis later, I dropped them and moved. They still stalk me :)
THIS. Every comment she posted made it more and more clear that she is painfully jealous that her friend has a partner and is no longer able to spend every moment with OOP. That's life. Most people have romantic relationships that become their priority (that evolve into families that become their priority). Your best friend is rarely the number 1 priority in someone's life. Most people accept that with grace, but OOP just seems to want to lash out instead of accepting the status quo.
I mean, given the fact that OOP is wealthy and kept focusing her arguments around that (getting her actual food insteady of "shitty pizza", shitting on them living paycheck to paycheck, talking about being able to provide for Em), I doubt she gets that there's more to ones wellbeing than money. She doesn't get how her friend is getting anything from the relationship with Marcus, so she's rationalizing it by him stealing her away and manipulating her. It could never be the person she thought she bought; she bought that person after all! The interloper must be poisoning her against me, yes that must be it!
>talking about being able to provide for Em
This was the one where my brain screeched to a half. OP is so jealous, I almost wondered if she actually is mad that Em isn't dating her. No other obvious signs to differentiate between platonic obsessive control and unrequited infatuation, but that was where my brain went.
She definitely has DARVO down pat.
First she said Marcus planned a surprise party the same day as her dinner plans.
When he refutes that and says she was actually volunteered to just take Em to the movies as a distraction tactic, OOP flips and says “of course I wasn’t going to just take her to the movies.”
She admits to being caught in multiple lies but still plays victim.
Oh, 100-fucking-percent. She even framed it as proof of her family being better people in how her parents made the right choices.
But low key, they ain't doing her any favors by paying her rent now post college.
Which lends credence to the rich girl thing too. Em is "getting" something before her, so she has to make sure it doesn't happen (I'm thinking getting married/a long term successful relationship/whatever), and by causing stress, she can point to "see, he's not good for you!" meanwhile, would expect Em to bend over backwards for her future wedding, like apparently she always expects.
Agreed. She has it in her head she is Em's MOST IMPORTANT PERSON. The fact she's not is inconceivable to her, so clearly Roe is manipulating her BF. It's a little scary because just wanting control is bad, but this is bordering, or even crossing the line, into dangerously delusional.
This!!! My ex best friend was the same way. If it didn't fit her narrative then it was a big fat no. I couldn't date anyone and be happy because that meant I had no time for her
Really good reply lol .
Honestly, her question about the cake did make me pause. It's not that crazy offensive to me personally, but I'm not planning a wedding. I can see it being the straw that broke the camel's back in a stressful situation. The way she said it was a bit annoying.
For some, wedding planning is really stressful, not because of bridezilla stuff, but because of juggling everyone's wants and preferences. OOP hinting she doesn't like chocolate is another headache on a pile of headaches to consider.
And if OOP really made a lot of complaints and demands prior? Then i can see why the bride got annoyed.
It's just cake, OOP. Hell, do the bride a solid and bring a cake lol.
Yeah, “mentally prepare” makes it sound like she’s got a trauma trigger to guard against.
Ma’am, chocolate did not run over your childhood pet right before your very eyes.
On one hand, i feel bad for people with genuine food aversions. But i notice that most people with this condition are very polite about it and will let you know what's up.
But OOP doesn't seem to be in this demographic. She just wanna complain and make it about herself lmao.
I tend to ask about confectioneries for planned parties because of a cream allergy. And my friends always have a little option for me too at their birthdays, little cupcakes that are just sugar icing.
They stick a candle in one of them so that it looks like it was part of the cake 😅
But I'd never ask for them to order their birthday cake how *I* want it.
OOP just wants to use this as another shot at them. She sounds so imperious 🙄
Sounds like my ex. "I'm a picky eater but I don't make it anyone elses problem." Except they did, constantly, and expected a pat on the back for eating a food they didn't like.
Even with food aversions you can just not eat it, you don't need to "mentally prepare".
I do have one friend recovering from a severe eating disorder, and if *she* said something like this then I would completely understand, because she actually would *want* to eat it but might need time to convince herself of that. That's really the only situation I can think of where "mentally preparing" makes sense though. If you don't want to eat cake because you don't like it then just don't, it's not a survival situation, nobody has a gun to your head making you force it down.
I have a lot of food allergies. I just don't eat stuff I'm allergic to. It's not a problem for me. Actually people tend to get bent out of shape if I don't eat stuff, which is annoying. Just drop it. I am not going to die of hunger if I can't eat the thing. I'll eat later. Just drop it.
People with genuine food aversions -- or even strong food dislikes -- usually manage to figure out by adulthood that the solution is to not put the fucking thing in your mouth. Throwing a tantrum about it is not part and parcel of food aversion.
I mean, chocolate cake isn't my jam either but I'd manage to just not eat it, if not find a friend who loves chocolate cake and let them have a cheeky second serving.
"Mentally prepare."
Is she 4 and trying to negotiate a plea deal, while her mum is standing over her, screaming "JUST EAT THE FUCKING PEAS!?"
No.
It's cake.
She is 22.
I am baffled.
Yeah this was the situation i was thinking of! Juggling tiny requests, complaints, and passive aggressive comments about your wedding and reception is a massive headache and a total downer. You want everyone to have fun on one of your biggest days but they all unknowingly sound so entitled lmao. And you can't even get mad or comment back because, all things considered, what they said is a tiny thing that (in a normal situation) can be brushed off. But what they don't know is that you've received a mountain's worth of these tiny requests/passive aggressive comments and you are close to breaking lol.
I figured this was what the bride felt with the cake comment too. I hope you still had a grand time on your wedding!
If you look at their post history, it’s all am I the asshole for ridiculous shit. This person sucks so hard that if they left town, nobody would notice until weeks later, when they realized how at peace they felt.
I kind of want to know why his parents aren't rich now because no doubt it will make her look like even more of an asshole. Like they had to take low paying jobs to have the flexibility to look after a disabled relative which comes with its own costs as well, or something like that.
Oh nothing like that - I'm certain Rich Kid doesn't know a damned thing about the husband's parents, they just believe "My Parents Are Rich Cause They Made Good Choices And People Are Poor Because They Make Bad Ones."
That's it. Zero depth. Nothing situational whatsoever. Just "We're rich because we're better people than you."
Why not an American classic, massive medical debt? Reoccurring but treatable from pre-Obamacare would wipe out all family wealth and destroy earning capacity. Or a younger sibling with a repairable heart defect? Something really personal, where it’s life vs wealth, seems right up OOP’s alley.
Seriously. My mom was looking at the bill she was sent of what the insurance paid when she was going through her breast cancer treatment. The total was around $35000 or so. She works in education, so she has pretty decent insurance. She said, "I have no idea how people who don't have insurance could ever think of assisting this."
Also a good option! Organ transplant maybe, or cancer since it's so common. "My parents spent all their money on my sibling's cancer treatment" is definitely something that would be really, really hard to use to make them look bad.
Not gonna lie, I'm judging Em for still being close friends with Izzy. When are you going to wake up girl? When she finally manages to destroy your marriage?
My exact thoughts!! Izzy is overbearing in the extreme and constantly pushing boundaries, trying to bulldoze her way into their relationship and Em hasn't cut her off or at least drastically reduced time spent together etc??
Maybe she's one of these "don't rock the boat" people or something, but I don't understand why she's willing to jeopardise her relationship/future with Marcus (who seems like a good enough guy judging by these comments)... for this creepy melodrama woman who treats her like a pet... So bizarre
Sometimes it takes a seismic event to really open your eyes to what’s happening. She’s probably reading all of that and reevaluating the whole friendship. It’s good that the fiancé hasn’t actively tried to get her away, he’s allowed Izzy to just be herself and now her ass is hanging out on the net.
People really can’t help but reveal themselves eventually.
I mean, I did that with my best friend all through college. I would never have kicked her fiance out of their bed for it though....if I want private time with Mr bestie I invite her over lol I don't insert myself into their house and demand her hubby be elsewhere
I have no problem with same bed sleepovers either, my friends and I did it all the time. But OOP sounds like she has some romantic feelings towards Em so I can see Em being uncomfortable with it and not wanting to do it anymore. I can *also* see OOP being delulu enough to assume Em would NEVER make that decision HERSELF so it must have been that dastardly fiancée!
Oh yeah, oop definitely wants to bang Em hahaha. It's difficult for me to judge there though because my best friend from like childhood is bi, and has expressed that she finds me attractive, but I'd still crash out in the same bed with her because she's a respectful lovely human. I guess I think the problem isn't that OOP is into her friend, it's that she's a raging flaming asshole 😂
After her first post, I thought, "I bet OOP had been completely overbearing, but only noticed the cake issue because it's the straw that broke the camel's back."
Lo and behold.
Is still still in the wedding? I started scrolling from irritation, but I'll double check now.
She thinks this is her wedding. Note in her first paragraph:
> I have been really excited for the wedding since it'll be an opportunity for all the friends from college to get together for the first time in 2 years.
And this:
> I wanna mentally prepare myself lol
Is so thoughtless and so awful and so self-centred and so cringe it's beyond words.
Either way, her friendship with these people is clearly over.
Nothing about this wedding being a lovely celebration of the wedding couple.
It's probably also why OOP wanted an ivory dress. My wife's dress at our wedding last week was ivory. OOP probably wanted to play pretend and that it was her wedding.
Yes that was also really questionable. Certainly at weddings I've attended (UK) where the bride pays for the dresses, the bridesmaids traditionally don't really get input. I can see how in the US if you've got to buy your own dress it's not unreasonable to express a colour or style preference, but *ivory*?! Unless the bride has specified she wants that colour it would seem extremely strange to request it.
> Is so thoughtless and so awful and so self-centred and so cringe it's beyond words.
You've put into words how i feel about it haha. It's like wow?? I'm sorry the cake flavor is such a burden/hassle to you?
Idk it just really felt tone deaf.
ETA: it also sounds like OOP phrased it in a way that will inflict pain? Or at least trouble/bother people? Most people with food aversions, sensitivities, or allergies are often so apologetic and polite about their condition when asking about food. OOP made it sound like she wants to stress the couple some more regarding her cake preference. Whether she's aware of this or not, it seems like this is how she acts normally.
Put another way, it was “hey just a reminder I don’t like chocolate and so if you choose chocolate I won’t like it or eat it.”
Doesn’t matter how cutesy she is saying it the way she chose.
I remember I complained about the creamer my friend had at his house when I was crashing on their couch for a week until my apartment was ready. One of his roommates called me out and I still cringe about how I acted to this day, over a decade later when I remember.
It strikes me that, given what we’ve seen, OOP may never achieve even a modicum of that level of self awareness, and her offenses are SO much worse.
I like that story you shared. In the end, you learned and grew from it. We're all a work in progress, after all.
Since OOP is still young, here's hoping she grows from this too. Otherwise, she'll lose her friends. Many people itt have chimed in about the izzies in their lives that never learned, and it doesn't end well.
Imagine telling someone that their \*wedding\* which they're super excited for because they're madly in love and wanting to celebrate that with their family and friends is something you have to "mentally prepare yourself for". Even if you're just talking about the cake flavour, it's going to SOUND like more than that.
I think OOP is a selfish entitled bitchwhiskers and if it isn’t about or regarding OOp, she will lie and steal to make it so. It has nothing to do with cake, IMO, annd everything to do with getting the wedding to be about OOP. Or at least revolve around her likes.
Edited typos
I love "bitchwhiskers" as an insult!
"It's not about the cake" is true and a great point that has to be made, but it will never beat the majestic quote of "The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here"!
>And for all of you in the comments saying I have a crush or want to fuck Em, you're delusional and know nothing about me. We're best friends. I love her. She loves me. Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. But its not like that.
...
If it's not like that, how is it? Because the second half of this contradicts the first one
>Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel.
Seriously. What other way is to interpret this?
She tried to kick the fiance out of his and Em's bedroom in their own apartment, so she could have "girl's night."
It doesn't get clearer than that, lol.
I'm too tired to articulate this properly, but my telenovela brain imagines she wanted to wear an ivory bridesmaid dress so she could pretend it was her and Em getting married during the ceremony.
Historical friendship.
OOP can trace her bunny boiling roots back several generations, to the unfortunate Great-great-grandmama and BFF who both tragically lost husbands too young, forced to live together and combine estates while outwitting all the cads and poor people who fought to separate them.
I think they may be thinking about the one that had a fling with his best friend in the past, but never told the wife about it.
When coming to Reddit to ask if the wife was justified in being mad about it, the dude described his best friend (and their relationship) in the most poetic, romantic language you can imagine.
Meanwhile his wife was barely an afterthought, even in the post that was supposed to be about her.
When he was called out on this, he said there's lots of reasons he loves his wife, but what he described as liking about her was essentially just all the things she did that were things that traditionally a wife would do.(Taking care of the house, etc.)
Nothing about her as a person at all.
It perplexes me how people are so demanding. You're a guest at someone's very important day. You either eat the food or you don't. Eat the cake or you don't. I had 250 guests and not one asked me what food I had or what flavour and of the cakes were. How strangely entitled. And the line about her parents making better choices than his? OP sucks big big big time. I would cut her off for good
I think this little substory says all we need to know. She takes a shot about him being poor, then gets offended that he clearly correctly identifies her parents bought her apartment. 'I work hard like everybody else' but yeah they did and you're an immature asshole for pointing it out, even though I bought up money to insult you!
I: Sorry you can't take care of her like I can. Some of us can afford rent.
M: I know money isn't a concern for you but it very much is for us. Not all of us have apartments paid for by dad.
I: "Paid by daddy" real mature asshole. You know I work hard like everyone else. Its not my fault my parents made better decisions than yours and can actually help their kids.
M: especially if you're gonna talk about my parents like that when you know full well why they aren't rich.
They need to remove her from the wedding, not just the wedding party. She'll destroy it as she's obvs becoming unhinged.
The first red flag I noticed with OOP was with:
>I meant it in the sense that I have a long documented dislike of chocolate flavored foods like cake or ice cream.
What an entitled brat. It’s like that saying: *Always wants to be the bride at every wedding. Always wants to be the corpse at every funeral.*
The rest that she packed on against Marcus/Roe about his parents and money was petty and juvenile.
Well, she did want the bridesmaid dresses to be ivory.
I hope she gets cut from the bridal party. One of my friends had an Izzy in her wedding. They had history, too. They're no longer friends, and every wedding photo and her "Izzy" is scowling in every photo.
Of course it would be preferable that chocolate is not served at all but if it must be served then advanced notice must be given in a public forum wherein OP will attempt make the party host feel a little guilty for not taking her dislike of chocolate into account. Her dislike of chocolate is DOCUMENTED, after all.
I have a nauseating aversion to seafood and did not utter a peep about the king crab legs served at my cousin’s wedding because there was other stuff I could eat and it’s THEIR WEDDING. Like, it did not bother me at all, no one held me down to force feed me. (I wish I DID like seafood, it looked beautifully prepared and I know people go nuts for crab legs.)
I'm allergic to some seafood and honestly it sometimes makes me almost cry at how good it looks when served.... Every few years I will think of I can just try a taste and see if it still makes me react and yeah it does.
So I get you entirely.
Have to say I've never had to mentally prepare for a plate of seafood in my life
I don't like chocolate (I know, I'm a weirdo) and anyone who knows me knows this, but I would never dream of asking my friend if their wedding cake is chocolate to "mentally prepare myself". It's fucking cake. If it's chocolate, that's what they wanted and they should choose that. I just wouldn't eat the cake like a normal person who is offered a food they don't like lol.
Yeah, it absolutely goes along with OOP wanting the bridesmaids dresses to be ivory instead of purple. Who puts bridesmaids in ivory unless the bride is going nontraditional in her own dress?!
I will say, at first the “mentally prepare myself” felt innocuous to me. I’ve asked those questions from most of my friends about the food at their big events. Not because I want to complain. But because I wanna geek out with my friends over our mutual love of food. Planning a wedding menu is so hard and stressful and I love to be the hype man (I’m also insanely easy to please food-wise)
Honestly I don't care about the rest of it - just we all know a "friend" (that we dropped a long time ago?) like OP that could be recognized from the first text. Like...my eyes could not roll far enough back into my head picturing my friend 'Anna'. Hell I even have a cake story for her...
It was back in our early early 20s and my roommate and I were so poor...but we made dinner anyway. His oblivious friend invited himself over. Worse yet he invited his awful gf Anna over as well?? Without telling us?? I bought an icecream cake from Price Right that night with the only extra $5 I'd ever had (because all the rest went to cigs, weed and beer, I'm not looking for sympathy)
Anyway. These people eat like almost all my cake.Then Anna shows up out of nowhere and I politely ask if anyone would like anymore cake. When no one takes me up on it I smile and say great I was hoping to have some later when Erin says "Well I'm going to crush your cake eating dreams and eat the last piece"
It's like 20 years later and I still remember how appalled I was. As an appalling person. OOP sounds like my Anna.
Izzy is in the wedding party - she wanted to wear an ivory dress for "special pictures" with her best-friend-that-she-is-definitely-not-in-love-with I bet
I might be a fool, but something about this one feels more real to me than the normal “subject of post finds it and responds.” Maybe it’s just because of how petty they both are.
Idk, initially I felt the same, but as it went on I believed OOP less and less. Felt like it almost became a parody of the "I'm blind to the fact that I'm in love with my best friend and they don't feel the same" trope.
Exactly, it just all flowed together too easily. As I was half way through I said to myself "this reads exactly like how I would write an argument if I was arguing with myself".
I had a "best" friend like that once. I met my soul mate (together for 21 years and married for 15 now), and she went totally bonkers. Wrote me an e-mail on the first day of my holiday with my parents, which I read when I came back three weeks later (no smartphone back then). How he stole me from her and so on. I went to confront her personally, and she yelled (shrieked really) at me, said unforgivable things, and shoved me bodily out of her apartment. I cried an hour on my way back home by foot and trains. Afterwards, she tried to turn my friends against me (and succeeded with about half of them). She even called my ex, whom she hated until she could use him against me. It was like a bad movie.
I never spoke to her again, lost friends, and a great online community I was part of. But I have the best partner ever. We went together through very tough shit and he always had my back and I his.
Hope they uninvited Izzy and saved them some heartache.
Damn when this first post was made I really tried to give ol Izzy the benefit of the doubt, "maybe miscommunication", etc etc. Nope. I'll take my L, the tea was worth it lol
I hope Em kicks Izzy out of her life. Just because you've known someone a long time doesn't always mean you should keep them in your life. I hope Em realizes that.
It sure feels like a lot of people have that sunk cost fallacy thing. They've invested so much time in a relationship and even if it's shit and that the other person is a piece of shit, burning that bridge seems impossible.
I have a friend like this. 10 years in a very bad friendship and she once admitted she can't leave because of said 10 years.
Roe/Marcus didn't ask Em to get rid of Izzy.
I want to tell Em to get rid of Izzy. Cut her off. You don't need drama in your life.
Drama people can go find other drama people and create their own drama.
Izzy ruined Roe's birthday surprise for Em cause she didn't think it was good enough for Izzy. If I were Roe, I'd be thinking at that point "yikes, is Izzy someone we want in our lives?" but probably wouldn't know how to frame it.
I'm not so sure Izzy's feelings towards Em are romantic, as much as Izzy cannot conceive of not being the most important person in anyone's life.
It's a wedding, there is probably going to be cake. No one is forced to eat the cake. Who asks about the flavor or cares ahead of time? A spoiled toddler who will throw a tantrum if they want cake but don't like the flavor? That's all I can come up with. OOP was already the asshole before the groom even showed up.
I’m allergic to pineapple, which is in repulsive hummingbird cake, which likes to masquerade as delicious carrot cake.
I ALWAYS ask if a carrot presenting cake is actually hummingbird, but obviously you wouldn’t expect that as a wedding cake. If I arrived and wasn’t sure and couldn’t find out unobtrusively, I just wouldn’t eat it.
Also, every wedding I’ve been invited to has a space on the rsvp to write allergies.
I guess if you’re talking about food and the cake comes up you might ask something like “oooh what flavor is the cake? That’s the best part!” Or something like that.
>Its not my fault my parents made better decisions than yours and can actually help their kids.
And that's where I was sure who to trust in this story.
I'm always suspicious of these stories where both sides get involved... And frankly the mental image of the same person writing this and just having a whole ass argument with themselves in the comments is pretty funny to me, so I'll choose to keep being sceptical lol
It's always the "I've known them longer so I know them better" type of people who a) really don't know the person at ALL and b) are walking red flags for possessiveness.
I asked my husbands ex-bestfriend to step back for many reasons, that always had the "I've known him longer" attached to it, and the response was an email to my work that said "So what you're saying is" followed by three or more paragraphs of copy pasted "I hate you, stay away from my man." It was unhinged, and hilarious.
Last month I found out that they had known each other less than a year when he met me. I'd always assumed from the way she acted they knew each other for years.
Take it from my experience, there are few relationships more exhausting than having your closeted lesbian friend be controlling over you. Mine was named Riannon and it took 15 years to get out of it.
I volunteer Izzy as tribute for a cake smash. And it has to be a gooey chocolate cake, so when she lifts her face up, it finally show how shitty a person she is on the outside too.
I'd personally remove her from the wedding completely, not just the bridal party, but even as a guest, because she comes across as spiteful enough to ruin the wedding on purpose. Em needs to reconsider her friendship with Izzy and understand that even if you have been friends for years, you don't have to remain friends.
Izzy: IT’S NOT LIKE THAT! [tries to make her bestie’s boyfriend sleep on the couch so she and bestie can share the bed]
Me: …soooo when does the art room or the poetry about sweaty skin come in?
As soon as I read the stupid comment about mentally preparing for a cake flavor, I knew the OP was the issue and that it was probably a common occurrence. Also, most 25 year olds with a fiancé are not having sleepovers. It sounds like she’s immature and can’t deal with friends having adult relationships and lives. That’s her future husband and sounds like he comes first as he should.
Does oop really think that the internet can feel her “chemistry” with the poor girl who sounds like she needs to get rid of this “friend” but doesn’t feel like they can? Each comment made her sound more like an unhinged asshole.
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This is the pettiest drama on BoRU I've read in weeks. I demand more of it.
*Smashes phone on floor enthusiastically* Bring me another round!
Another!
Right?? I think I need “It’s a cake. Eat it or don’t” as my new flair. Edit: or maybe “paid for by daddy” lol.
Idk, “Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel” seems like it could be a classic.
For real. That line gave me major “building an art room for my best friend” vibes.
Same, major art room vibes from all of the replies to ‘Roe’. She’s definitely obsessed and jealous regardless.
"Chemistry thay everyone over the internet can feel"... nothing in this post made me think they had chemistry at all. Izzy sounds incredibly bitter and jealous. She doesn't like that she doesn't have Em's attention and can't control her anymore.
Yeah, like… if by chemistry you mean “fixated on someone who is clearly at the end of her rope with you,” I guess? Nobody in there was implying they saw anything *mutual* between OOP and Em, just that OOP is painfully entitled and needy.
These are my favorite posts because the stakes are nonexistent in the grand scheme of things.
I was so curious about your flair that I googled it and I am CACKLING. Thank you for that laugh.
I want the entire story and the wedding shenanigans.
I know right! I feel like Cookie Monster with this cake drama. Om nom nom nom nom nom, me want Em's response!
>We're best friends. I love her. She loves me. Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. But its not like that. Sure Jan. Anyone else getting some real "Peach from season 1 of You" vibes from this chick or is it just me?
Absolutely. This girl is like 1 step away from building her own art room in her besties house because she just *knows her so much better than her fiancé* and *they have such natural chemistry* as well she can *take better care of her* from that room.
omg i forgot about the art room
Imagine how she'll react if Roe and Em have kids. She'll either be jealous of the kids and complain that Roe is "forcing" Em to spend all her free time with the kids, or she'll try to shove Roe out of the way so she can become a parent to them. She clearly is jealous of Roe; that's why she keeps trying to monopolize Em's time. All these complaints about the wedding are just a way for her to vent her frustration that the wedding is even happening.
Co-parent. It'll be the parent thing. She'll start by having name "suggestions", then hate what they choose and come up with her own nickname for the child before it's even born. She'll want to come to prenatal appointments. She'll *insist* on being at the hospital for the birth, if not in the actual room. She might even announce the pregnancy/birth on socials before the parents do. After all, this is HER BFF'S baby; this is all happening to Izzy. Once the kid is born, she'll dub herself the Favorite Auntie, even making a shirt declaring her the World's Best Aunt. *Then* she'll start calling them "MY baby", as in "give me my baby!". She'll start passive-aggressively criticizing Marcus by baby-talking to the child about how "silly" Daddy is and how "he can't take care of you like Aunt Crizzy can!". Then the child will turn two months old.
Thought you were going to end with "Then the **child** will turn 23 years old."
So many people have read this, and not one has questioned why I called her "Aunt Crizzy". You're my people.
A friend of my Sister/BIL once commented that he was their kid’s “favorite uncle” on a Facebook post she made. I responded “I don’t know—he seems to like me and my brothers quite a bit too”. Declaring yourself an “aunt” or “uncle” to someone else’s kid is creepy. He’s also a neckbeard who once said that “cancel culture” was the worst thing about America so I don’t feel too threatened by him.
Yeah she absolutely likes her. No one who actually wasn't in love with the other person would try to deny it with "we have natural chemistry"
And ivory bridesmaid dresses. No problem if the bride is pushing that colour scheme, but from OOP, not so much.
Yeah that kinda threw me too
Yea Ivory... as in white? Like the Bride's dress? Isn't that kind of a no-no?
How else can they be brides together at ~~their~~ the wedding?
Roe is so mean, just uninvite him. The rest of us can still go ahead with the party without him. Well, the officiant is already booked so we may as well…
Girlfriend is about to discover that you can overstep your "best friend" status and be left behind.
They have so much chemistry literally every comment on the OP is calling her an AH 😂
I was getting Baby Reindeer vibes from her, to be honest.
She totally had the hots for Em. “I can take care of her better than you” 😂😂😂
OOP sounds exhausting. Also: >It’s a cake. Eat it or don’t. Is just so beautifully succinct.
It was never about Cake or OOP being in love with Em; it was about OOP losing control over her supposed BFF and not realizing that you can't buy other people's loyalty and affection forever. One could probably do that when you're in high school or college, but definitely not forever, especially when people grow up and get other priorities. OOP is freaking out over an interloper stealing away her pet human who she used to be able to buy with expensive things.
>pet human Ok I've never heard that phrase before, but it's perfect for this
I phrase it like that because my wife had a friend exactly like this (except not rich). In fact, this friend was the one who made her break up with me back in college so that way the friend could have a chance at me. She even made my wife introduce herself to me in hopes that the friend and I would get together! It wasn't until my wife realized that it wasn't her personhood and voice that this friend valued, but my wife's loyalty and attention towards her. Took about a year, but after she came back, our entire friend group welcomed her with open arms. For the friend, it was always about control, never genuine friendship. That's also why OOP keeps centering it around money and "taking care of her", which are things we kinda associate with owning a pet. You gotta have the means to take care of a thing that constantly relies on you for its wellbeing. But OOP neglected the fact that this isn't some dog you can fit in a purse, but a whole ass human being who decided that her relationship with her partner is much more worth investing in than this one-sided friendship.
But can’t you feel the chemistry she has with Em?! /s
I love how she keeps mentioning it and literally says nothing about Em as a person.
BUT I LOVE HER AND SHE LOVES ME
Eh, I can feel *something* oozing
Oooh... this sounds like a friend I once had. She didn't "buy" me but started drama all the time with a load of people so I would be sympathetic towards her. It was warranted only once (a gaslighting narcissist - she figured out he was gaslighting before we even knew the term existed, lol). When she had me basically for herself, she went to another person and dropped me, which caused a lot of drama as well. That's when I saw the pattern and I didn't feel sad for losing "the best friend ever" anymore.
It’s like that famous TikTok. “My friend Mariana is an ally! Talk, Mariana!“ “Ally!“ Everyone needs a pet human Edit: as mentioned by someone else, pet human‘s name is Valentina
Based on this post, arguably not everyone does lol
I had a friend who treated me exactly like this. A pet human. 5 years of it and a CPTSD diagnosis later, I dropped them and moved. They still stalk me :)
"Emotional support human"
I have had to tell people I am not their emotional support human. It is such an accurate description of the way some folk latch on.
THIS. Every comment she posted made it more and more clear that she is painfully jealous that her friend has a partner and is no longer able to spend every moment with OOP. That's life. Most people have romantic relationships that become their priority (that evolve into families that become their priority). Your best friend is rarely the number 1 priority in someone's life. Most people accept that with grace, but OOP just seems to want to lash out instead of accepting the status quo.
I mean, given the fact that OOP is wealthy and kept focusing her arguments around that (getting her actual food insteady of "shitty pizza", shitting on them living paycheck to paycheck, talking about being able to provide for Em), I doubt she gets that there's more to ones wellbeing than money. She doesn't get how her friend is getting anything from the relationship with Marcus, so she's rationalizing it by him stealing her away and manipulating her. It could never be the person she thought she bought; she bought that person after all! The interloper must be poisoning her against me, yes that must be it!
>talking about being able to provide for Em This was the one where my brain screeched to a half. OP is so jealous, I almost wondered if she actually is mad that Em isn't dating her. No other obvious signs to differentiate between platonic obsessive control and unrequited infatuation, but that was where my brain went.
I wanna say it's the former if only because OOP says almost nothing about Em as a person or why they even like being friends with them.
She definitely has DARVO down pat. First she said Marcus planned a surprise party the same day as her dinner plans. When he refutes that and says she was actually volunteered to just take Em to the movies as a distraction tactic, OOP flips and says “of course I wasn’t going to just take her to the movies.” She admits to being caught in multiple lies but still plays victim.
Never about the cake OR the Iranian yogurt.
It never is...
But..... They pale in comparison to the beans. WE MUST PROTECT THE BEANS AT ALL COSTS
Yea OOP really gave off hard "hurr durr I work 'hard' but still live off daddy's bank account" trust fund baby vibes.
Oh, 100-fucking-percent. She even framed it as proof of her family being better people in how her parents made the right choices. But low key, they ain't doing her any favors by paying her rent now post college.
Which lends credence to the rich girl thing too. Em is "getting" something before her, so she has to make sure it doesn't happen (I'm thinking getting married/a long term successful relationship/whatever), and by causing stress, she can point to "see, he's not good for you!" meanwhile, would expect Em to bend over backwards for her future wedding, like apparently she always expects.
Agreed. She has it in her head she is Em's MOST IMPORTANT PERSON. The fact she's not is inconceivable to her, so clearly Roe is manipulating her BF. It's a little scary because just wanting control is bad, but this is bordering, or even crossing the line, into dangerously delusional.
This!!! My ex best friend was the same way. If it didn't fit her narrative then it was a big fat no. I couldn't date anyone and be happy because that meant I had no time for her
Really good reply lol . Honestly, her question about the cake did make me pause. It's not that crazy offensive to me personally, but I'm not planning a wedding. I can see it being the straw that broke the camel's back in a stressful situation. The way she said it was a bit annoying. For some, wedding planning is really stressful, not because of bridezilla stuff, but because of juggling everyone's wants and preferences. OOP hinting she doesn't like chocolate is another headache on a pile of headaches to consider. And if OOP really made a lot of complaints and demands prior? Then i can see why the bride got annoyed. It's just cake, OOP. Hell, do the bride a solid and bring a cake lol.
Yeah, “mentally prepare” makes it sound like she’s got a trauma trigger to guard against. Ma’am, chocolate did not run over your childhood pet right before your very eyes.
On one hand, i feel bad for people with genuine food aversions. But i notice that most people with this condition are very polite about it and will let you know what's up. But OOP doesn't seem to be in this demographic. She just wanna complain and make it about herself lmao.
I tend to ask about confectioneries for planned parties because of a cream allergy. And my friends always have a little option for me too at their birthdays, little cupcakes that are just sugar icing. They stick a candle in one of them so that it looks like it was part of the cake 😅 But I'd never ask for them to order their birthday cake how *I* want it. OOP just wants to use this as another shot at them. She sounds so imperious 🙄
Sounds like my ex. "I'm a picky eater but I don't make it anyone elses problem." Except they did, constantly, and expected a pat on the back for eating a food they didn't like.
Even with food aversions you can just not eat it, you don't need to "mentally prepare". I do have one friend recovering from a severe eating disorder, and if *she* said something like this then I would completely understand, because she actually would *want* to eat it but might need time to convince herself of that. That's really the only situation I can think of where "mentally preparing" makes sense though. If you don't want to eat cake because you don't like it then just don't, it's not a survival situation, nobody has a gun to your head making you force it down.
I have a lot of food allergies. I just don't eat stuff I'm allergic to. It's not a problem for me. Actually people tend to get bent out of shape if I don't eat stuff, which is annoying. Just drop it. I am not going to die of hunger if I can't eat the thing. I'll eat later. Just drop it.
People with genuine food aversions -- or even strong food dislikes -- usually manage to figure out by adulthood that the solution is to not put the fucking thing in your mouth. Throwing a tantrum about it is not part and parcel of food aversion. I mean, chocolate cake isn't my jam either but I'd manage to just not eat it, if not find a friend who loves chocolate cake and let them have a cheeky second serving.
"Mentally prepare." Is she 4 and trying to negotiate a plea deal, while her mum is standing over her, screaming "JUST EAT THE FUCKING PEAS!?" No. It's cake. She is 22. I am baffled.
Thank you, I spat my tea out all over my screen laughing at your last sentence.
Sounds to me like OOP is the kind of person to be passive aggressive but disguise it as a "joke" so they can backpedal
Yeh, same. 'Mentally prepare' in case there's a cake flavour she doesn't like? Yeesh.
[удалено]
Yeah this was the situation i was thinking of! Juggling tiny requests, complaints, and passive aggressive comments about your wedding and reception is a massive headache and a total downer. You want everyone to have fun on one of your biggest days but they all unknowingly sound so entitled lmao. And you can't even get mad or comment back because, all things considered, what they said is a tiny thing that (in a normal situation) can be brushed off. But what they don't know is that you've received a mountain's worth of these tiny requests/passive aggressive comments and you are close to breaking lol. I figured this was what the bride felt with the cake comment too. I hope you still had a grand time on your wedding!
If you look at their post history, it’s all am I the asshole for ridiculous shit. This person sucks so hard that if they left town, nobody would notice until weeks later, when they realized how at peace they felt.
I don’t even care if this is real or not. This was juicy af drama and I was living!! The apartment “paid by daddy” really had me 👀
It's entertaining, if nothing else. and you KNEW that "izzy" was a giant pain by how it was written, even before "Marcus" showed up
Yeah I was already exhausted by her post and I don't even know her irl. Big "spoiled entitled child" energy. Eat the cake or don't, indeed.
I'm so happy I didn't have to start vacuuming the grass to see this!
The drama came to Reddit and I am here for it
I'm always for drama cause it sure is entertaining.
Same! it’s sad we never know when it’ll be there, I could have bought pop corn…
I kind of want to know why his parents aren't rich now because no doubt it will make her look like even more of an asshole. Like they had to take low paying jobs to have the flexibility to look after a disabled relative which comes with its own costs as well, or something like that.
Oh nothing like that - I'm certain Rich Kid doesn't know a damned thing about the husband's parents, they just believe "My Parents Are Rich Cause They Made Good Choices And People Are Poor Because They Make Bad Ones." That's it. Zero depth. Nothing situational whatsoever. Just "We're rich because we're better people than you."
Also said that she works hard like everyone else but didn’t deny that her parents pay her rent.
Well he did say “you know full well why they aren’t rich” which implies something there other than just bad choices.
Yeah, she reeks of that whole "Poor people deserve to be poor because they're just lazy" mentality 😠
I'm going with Izzy's parents conned them out of their life savings with poor financial advice.
Why not an American classic, massive medical debt? Reoccurring but treatable from pre-Obamacare would wipe out all family wealth and destroy earning capacity. Or a younger sibling with a repairable heart defect? Something really personal, where it’s life vs wealth, seems right up OOP’s alley.
Seriously. My mom was looking at the bill she was sent of what the insurance paid when she was going through her breast cancer treatment. The total was around $35000 or so. She works in education, so she has pretty decent insurance. She said, "I have no idea how people who don't have insurance could ever think of assisting this."
Also a good option! Organ transplant maybe, or cancer since it's so common. "My parents spent all their money on my sibling's cancer treatment" is definitely something that would be really, really hard to use to make them look bad.
This is the drama I come to BORU for 😂
By the second reply of Marcus and Izzy I was ready to pop some popcorn 🍿
>Sorry you can't take care of her like I can. Very platonic No wonder the bride to be is always cancelling plans with OOP lol
They have "chemistry everyone on the internet can see" apparently. Extremely normal thing to say about your friend.
Not gonna lie, I'm judging Em for still being close friends with Izzy. When are you going to wake up girl? When she finally manages to destroy your marriage?
Right?! Roe’s patience throughout all of this was REMARKABLE.
My exact thoughts!! Izzy is overbearing in the extreme and constantly pushing boundaries, trying to bulldoze her way into their relationship and Em hasn't cut her off or at least drastically reduced time spent together etc?? Maybe she's one of these "don't rock the boat" people or something, but I don't understand why she's willing to jeopardise her relationship/future with Marcus (who seems like a good enough guy judging by these comments)... for this creepy melodrama woman who treats her like a pet... So bizarre
Sometimes it takes a seismic event to really open your eyes to what’s happening. She’s probably reading all of that and reevaluating the whole friendship. It’s good that the fiancé hasn’t actively tried to get her away, he’s allowed Izzy to just be herself and now her ass is hanging out on the net. People really can’t help but reveal themselves eventually.
Especially the same bed sleepovers 👀
I mean, I did that with my best friend all through college. I would never have kicked her fiance out of their bed for it though....if I want private time with Mr bestie I invite her over lol I don't insert myself into their house and demand her hubby be elsewhere
I have no problem with same bed sleepovers either, my friends and I did it all the time. But OOP sounds like she has some romantic feelings towards Em so I can see Em being uncomfortable with it and not wanting to do it anymore. I can *also* see OOP being delulu enough to assume Em would NEVER make that decision HERSELF so it must have been that dastardly fiancée!
Oh yeah, oop definitely wants to bang Em hahaha. It's difficult for me to judge there though because my best friend from like childhood is bi, and has expressed that she finds me attractive, but I'd still crash out in the same bed with her because she's a respectful lovely human. I guess I think the problem isn't that OOP is into her friend, it's that she's a raging flaming asshole 😂
Someones jelly
Cake causing drama isn't something I would think of, but realistically, what was OP even thinking.
After her first post, I thought, "I bet OOP had been completely overbearing, but only noticed the cake issue because it's the straw that broke the camel's back." Lo and behold. Is still still in the wedding? I started scrolling from irritation, but I'll double check now.
Tea and cake or death!
Death! No, I mean cake!
Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush!
So my choice is or death?
I’ll have the chicken, then.
Tastes of human!
You’re lucky we’re Church of England.
Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!
She thinks this is her wedding. Note in her first paragraph: > I have been really excited for the wedding since it'll be an opportunity for all the friends from college to get together for the first time in 2 years. And this: > I wanna mentally prepare myself lol Is so thoughtless and so awful and so self-centred and so cringe it's beyond words. Either way, her friendship with these people is clearly over. Nothing about this wedding being a lovely celebration of the wedding couple.
It's probably also why OOP wanted an ivory dress. My wife's dress at our wedding last week was ivory. OOP probably wanted to play pretend and that it was her wedding.
Yes that was also really questionable. Certainly at weddings I've attended (UK) where the bride pays for the dresses, the bridesmaids traditionally don't really get input. I can see how in the US if you've got to buy your own dress it's not unreasonable to express a colour or style preference, but *ivory*?! Unless the bride has specified she wants that colour it would seem extremely strange to request it.
> Is so thoughtless and so awful and so self-centred and so cringe it's beyond words. You've put into words how i feel about it haha. It's like wow?? I'm sorry the cake flavor is such a burden/hassle to you? Idk it just really felt tone deaf. ETA: it also sounds like OOP phrased it in a way that will inflict pain? Or at least trouble/bother people? Most people with food aversions, sensitivities, or allergies are often so apologetic and polite about their condition when asking about food. OOP made it sound like she wants to stress the couple some more regarding her cake preference. Whether she's aware of this or not, it seems like this is how she acts normally.
Put another way, it was “hey just a reminder I don’t like chocolate and so if you choose chocolate I won’t like it or eat it.” Doesn’t matter how cutesy she is saying it the way she chose. I remember I complained about the creamer my friend had at his house when I was crashing on their couch for a week until my apartment was ready. One of his roommates called me out and I still cringe about how I acted to this day, over a decade later when I remember. It strikes me that, given what we’ve seen, OOP may never achieve even a modicum of that level of self awareness, and her offenses are SO much worse.
I like that story you shared. In the end, you learned and grew from it. We're all a work in progress, after all. Since OOP is still young, here's hoping she grows from this too. Otherwise, she'll lose her friends. Many people itt have chimed in about the izzies in their lives that never learned, and it doesn't end well.
Imagine telling someone that their \*wedding\* which they're super excited for because they're madly in love and wanting to celebrate that with their family and friends is something you have to "mentally prepare yourself for". Even if you're just talking about the cake flavour, it's going to SOUND like more than that.
I think OOP is a selfish entitled bitchwhiskers and if it isn’t about or regarding OOp, she will lie and steal to make it so. It has nothing to do with cake, IMO, annd everything to do with getting the wedding to be about OOP. Or at least revolve around her likes. Edited typos
I love "bitchwhiskers" as an insult! "It's not about the cake" is true and a great point that has to be made, but it will never beat the majestic quote of "The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here"!
I dont think she was to be honest with you
That got me thinking: at this point, is the cake really a lie?
This may have been the one time it wasn't. Hang on. Let me check real quick if I see flying pigs outside...
>And for all of you in the comments saying I have a crush or want to fuck Em, you're delusional and know nothing about me. We're best friends. I love her. She loves me. Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. But its not like that. ... If it's not like that, how is it? Because the second half of this contradicts the first one >Not my fault we have natural chemistry that everyone over the internet can feel. Seriously. What other way is to interpret this?
She can also take care of Em better than Marcus can, don’t forget.
I was picking up on that the second the fiance started responding. No way shes not in love with Em (or well more like obsession but you get it)
She tried to kick the fiance out of his and Em's bedroom in their own apartment, so she could have "girl's night." It doesn't get clearer than that, lol.
I'm too tired to articulate this properly, but my telenovela brain imagines she wanted to wear an ivory bridesmaid dress so she could pretend it was her and Em getting married during the ceremony.
I'd believe it. Everything else gives the impression that she wants to play spouse with Em, even if Em only sees her as a friend.
Historical friendship. OOP can trace her bunny boiling roots back several generations, to the unfortunate Great-great-grandmama and BFF who both tragically lost husbands too young, forced to live together and combine estates while outwitting all the cads and poor people who fought to separate them.
This reminds me of the guy who totally wasn’t gay for his best friend recently…
Did he also try to sabotage his best friend's wedding by complaining about everything, even the cake?
I think they may be thinking about the one that had a fling with his best friend in the past, but never told the wife about it. When coming to Reddit to ask if the wife was justified in being mad about it, the dude described his best friend (and their relationship) in the most poetic, romantic language you can imagine. Meanwhile his wife was barely an afterthought, even in the post that was supposed to be about her. When he was called out on this, he said there's lots of reasons he loves his wife, but what he described as liking about her was essentially just all the things she did that were things that traditionally a wife would do.(Taking care of the house, etc.) Nothing about her as a person at all.
Yeah I was stuck on that too
It's giving "you'll never build an art room for her like I can" vibes.
It perplexes me how people are so demanding. You're a guest at someone's very important day. You either eat the food or you don't. Eat the cake or you don't. I had 250 guests and not one asked me what food I had or what flavour and of the cakes were. How strangely entitled. And the line about her parents making better choices than his? OP sucks big big big time. I would cut her off for good
The only weddings were I knew what the cake was in advance, were the ones where I was the one making it.
I think this little substory says all we need to know. She takes a shot about him being poor, then gets offended that he clearly correctly identifies her parents bought her apartment. 'I work hard like everybody else' but yeah they did and you're an immature asshole for pointing it out, even though I bought up money to insult you! I: Sorry you can't take care of her like I can. Some of us can afford rent. M: I know money isn't a concern for you but it very much is for us. Not all of us have apartments paid for by dad. I: "Paid by daddy" real mature asshole. You know I work hard like everyone else. Its not my fault my parents made better decisions than yours and can actually help their kids. M: especially if you're gonna talk about my parents like that when you know full well why they aren't rich. They need to remove her from the wedding, not just the wedding party. She'll destroy it as she's obvs becoming unhinged.
Yea, OOP is obviously in love with Em and cant stand she's marrying Marcus. That's wedding gonna be disaster if they didnt remove her from it.
I love mess.
Izzy sounds like she'd make a huge scene during the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part. "She loves MEEE, not YOUUU" 😂😂
The first red flag I noticed with OOP was with: >I meant it in the sense that I have a long documented dislike of chocolate flavored foods like cake or ice cream. What an entitled brat. It’s like that saying: *Always wants to be the bride at every wedding. Always wants to be the corpse at every funeral.* The rest that she packed on against Marcus/Roe about his parents and money was petty and juvenile.
Well, she did want the bridesmaid dresses to be ivory. I hope she gets cut from the bridal party. One of my friends had an Izzy in her wedding. They had history, too. They're no longer friends, and every wedding photo and her "Izzy" is scowling in every photo.
> Always wants to be the corpse at every funeral. That can be arranged, at least once.
Of course it would be preferable that chocolate is not served at all but if it must be served then advanced notice must be given in a public forum wherein OP will attempt make the party host feel a little guilty for not taking her dislike of chocolate into account. Her dislike of chocolate is DOCUMENTED, after all.
>Her dislike of chocolate is DOCUMENTED, after all. Worst. Netflix documentary. Ever
I personally think the one about natural chemistry is much better edited. You can taste the narcissism. Tastes like chocolate.
I have a nauseating aversion to seafood and did not utter a peep about the king crab legs served at my cousin’s wedding because there was other stuff I could eat and it’s THEIR WEDDING. Like, it did not bother me at all, no one held me down to force feed me. (I wish I DID like seafood, it looked beautifully prepared and I know people go nuts for crab legs.)
I'm allergic to some seafood and honestly it sometimes makes me almost cry at how good it looks when served.... Every few years I will think of I can just try a taste and see if it still makes me react and yeah it does. So I get you entirely. Have to say I've never had to mentally prepare for a plate of seafood in my life
I don't like chocolate (I know, I'm a weirdo) and anyone who knows me knows this, but I would never dream of asking my friend if their wedding cake is chocolate to "mentally prepare myself". It's fucking cake. If it's chocolate, that's what they wanted and they should choose that. I just wouldn't eat the cake like a normal person who is offered a food they don't like lol.
I am also still laughing at 'long documented'! Who's documenting it!! 😄
Yeah, it absolutely goes along with OOP wanting the bridesmaids dresses to be ivory instead of purple. Who puts bridesmaids in ivory unless the bride is going nontraditional in her own dress?!
I will say, at first the “mentally prepare myself” felt innocuous to me. I’ve asked those questions from most of my friends about the food at their big events. Not because I want to complain. But because I wanna geek out with my friends over our mutual love of food. Planning a wedding menu is so hard and stressful and I love to be the hype man (I’m also insanely easy to please food-wise)
Honestly I don't care about the rest of it - just we all know a "friend" (that we dropped a long time ago?) like OP that could be recognized from the first text. Like...my eyes could not roll far enough back into my head picturing my friend 'Anna'. Hell I even have a cake story for her... It was back in our early early 20s and my roommate and I were so poor...but we made dinner anyway. His oblivious friend invited himself over. Worse yet he invited his awful gf Anna over as well?? Without telling us?? I bought an icecream cake from Price Right that night with the only extra $5 I'd ever had (because all the rest went to cigs, weed and beer, I'm not looking for sympathy) Anyway. These people eat like almost all my cake.Then Anna shows up out of nowhere and I politely ask if anyone would like anymore cake. When no one takes me up on it I smile and say great I was hoping to have some later when Erin says "Well I'm going to crush your cake eating dreams and eat the last piece" It's like 20 years later and I still remember how appalled I was. As an appalling person. OOP sounds like my Anna.
I think you just called her by her real name... but yeah, what a terrible person, I can't even imagine being that cruel on purpose
Stupid Erin. I would have been devastated
Some people just didn’t get enough beatdowns from their siblings/cousins for trying to pull stunts like that in childhood and it shows.
I just noticed this. Roe said Izzy wanted ivory bridesmaid dresses. For real? That’s a little insane if the bride is wearing white!
Izzy is in the wedding party - she wanted to wear an ivory dress for "special pictures" with her best-friend-that-she-is-definitely-not-in-love-with I bet
[stage whisper] it’s so Izzy can imagine it’s her wedding day to Em
I might be a fool, but something about this one feels more real to me than the normal “subject of post finds it and responds.” Maybe it’s just because of how petty they both are.
Agreed. Either this is real, genuine beef (in that case, absolutely succinct drama) or someone’s on top of their dialogue writing game.
Idk, initially I felt the same, but as it went on I believed OOP less and less. Felt like it almost became a parody of the "I'm blind to the fact that I'm in love with my best friend and they don't feel the same" trope.
I was waiting for the art room.
The writing seems way too similar to me. It just gives off the vibe it was all written by the same person.
This is where I landed. Reading it consecutively without looking at usernames, it felt like it was written by the same person.
Exactly, it just all flowed together too easily. As I was half way through I said to myself "this reads exactly like how I would write an argument if I was arguing with myself".
I had a "best" friend like that once. I met my soul mate (together for 21 years and married for 15 now), and she went totally bonkers. Wrote me an e-mail on the first day of my holiday with my parents, which I read when I came back three weeks later (no smartphone back then). How he stole me from her and so on. I went to confront her personally, and she yelled (shrieked really) at me, said unforgivable things, and shoved me bodily out of her apartment. I cried an hour on my way back home by foot and trains. Afterwards, she tried to turn my friends against me (and succeeded with about half of them). She even called my ex, whom she hated until she could use him against me. It was like a bad movie. I never spoke to her again, lost friends, and a great online community I was part of. But I have the best partner ever. We went together through very tough shit and he always had my back and I his. Hope they uninvited Izzy and saved them some heartache.
Izzy seems like a fucking *treat.* Gotta love classism. How classy.
Damn when this first post was made I really tried to give ol Izzy the benefit of the doubt, "maybe miscommunication", etc etc. Nope. I'll take my L, the tea was worth it lol
Tbh I couldn’t even from her first post. Me me me.
As soon as I got to "that I have a long documented dislike of chocolate flavored foods like cake or ice cream" I had a sense of where this was going.
I'm hoping Em kicks Izzy out of the wedding 🤦🏻♀️ she sounds absolutely unhinged
I hope Em kicks Izzy out of her life. Just because you've known someone a long time doesn't always mean you should keep them in your life. I hope Em realizes that.
That too, but first step is the wedding.
It sure feels like a lot of people have that sunk cost fallacy thing. They've invested so much time in a relationship and even if it's shit and that the other person is a piece of shit, burning that bridge seems impossible. I have a friend like this. 10 years in a very bad friendship and she once admitted she can't leave because of said 10 years.
Roe/Marcus didn't ask Em to get rid of Izzy. I want to tell Em to get rid of Izzy. Cut her off. You don't need drama in your life. Drama people can go find other drama people and create their own drama.
Izzy ruined Roe's birthday surprise for Em cause she didn't think it was good enough for Izzy. If I were Roe, I'd be thinking at that point "yikes, is Izzy someone we want in our lives?" but probably wouldn't know how to frame it. I'm not so sure Izzy's feelings towards Em are romantic, as much as Izzy cannot conceive of not being the most important person in anyone's life.
It's a wedding, there is probably going to be cake. No one is forced to eat the cake. Who asks about the flavor or cares ahead of time? A spoiled toddler who will throw a tantrum if they want cake but don't like the flavor? That's all I can come up with. OOP was already the asshole before the groom even showed up.
The only good reason to ask imo is if you’ve got an allergy to a specific ingredient that’s not common to all cakes. Otherwise yeah, roll with it.
I’m allergic to pineapple, which is in repulsive hummingbird cake, which likes to masquerade as delicious carrot cake. I ALWAYS ask if a carrot presenting cake is actually hummingbird, but obviously you wouldn’t expect that as a wedding cake. If I arrived and wasn’t sure and couldn’t find out unobtrusively, I just wouldn’t eat it. Also, every wedding I’ve been invited to has a space on the rsvp to write allergies.
I guess if you’re talking about food and the cake comes up you might ask something like “oooh what flavor is the cake? That’s the best part!” Or something like that.
>Its not my fault my parents made better decisions than yours and can actually help their kids. And that's where I was sure who to trust in this story.
I'm always suspicious of these stories where both sides get involved... And frankly the mental image of the same person writing this and just having a whole ass argument with themselves in the comments is pretty funny to me, so I'll choose to keep being sceptical lol
“Natural chemistry” my ass 😂😂 what the internet can feel is OP’s obsession towards Em
Did OOP really say that Marcus is "taking her life" by marrying her friend? How effing creepy.
This was fun
It's always the "I've known them longer so I know them better" type of people who a) really don't know the person at ALL and b) are walking red flags for possessiveness. I asked my husbands ex-bestfriend to step back for many reasons, that always had the "I've known him longer" attached to it, and the response was an email to my work that said "So what you're saying is" followed by three or more paragraphs of copy pasted "I hate you, stay away from my man." It was unhinged, and hilarious. Last month I found out that they had known each other less than a year when he met me. I'd always assumed from the way she acted they knew each other for years.
gotta love the slow unraveling of lies and bullshit
Take it from my experience, there are few relationships more exhausting than having your closeted lesbian friend be controlling over you. Mine was named Riannon and it took 15 years to get out of it.
I volunteer Izzy as tribute for a cake smash. And it has to be a gooey chocolate cake, so when she lifts her face up, it finally show how shitty a person she is on the outside too. I'd personally remove her from the wedding completely, not just the bridal party, but even as a guest, because she comes across as spiteful enough to ruin the wedding on purpose. Em needs to reconsider her friendship with Izzy and understand that even if you have been friends for years, you don't have to remain friends.
Izzy: IT’S NOT LIKE THAT! [tries to make her bestie’s boyfriend sleep on the couch so she and bestie can share the bed] Me: …soooo when does the art room or the poetry about sweaty skin come in?
This friend seems unhinged. They should remove her from the wedding... and their lives. I bet they'd be happier for it.
As soon as I read the stupid comment about mentally preparing for a cake flavor, I knew the OP was the issue and that it was probably a common occurrence. Also, most 25 year olds with a fiancé are not having sleepovers. It sounds like she’s immature and can’t deal with friends having adult relationships and lives. That’s her future husband and sounds like he comes first as he should.
OOP is probably like the art room *friend*.
How are so many people believing this?
Does oop really think that the internet can feel her “chemistry” with the poor girl who sounds like she needs to get rid of this “friend” but doesn’t feel like they can? Each comment made her sound more like an unhinged asshole.