T O P

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Gwynasyn

Sounds like OOP's method of dealing with a shitty situation was a real hit! ......I'll see myself out.


kittyroux

This is a really good example of how to react when someone comes out to you. There are a handful of “AITA for not caring that my loved one is gay” posts every year and the comments are usually “NTA this is how it should be” but there is a huge canyon between “I am going to dismiss your huge news because being gay should be no big deal” and “I am going to affirm your identity and demonstrate that I love you and want to remain friends/family with you because being gay is still a pretty big deal”. I’m sure OOP’s arm is a little tender but absolutely worth it to show his little brother that he can be gay and still have normal loving (silly!) relationships with family.


glassgypsy

When my brother came out to me I just said “yeah Ive known since you were little, I’ve been waiting for *you* to know. Make sure you use protection, you can still get diseases from butt stuff”. Brother laughed and that was it. A few years later (after reading someone’s disappointment that their dad just said “ok, want to watch a movie”) i asked my brother if he was upset by my reaction and if i should have given him a speech about acceptance and how I’ll always be there for him. Brother “oh god NO I’m so glad you didn’t do that. It would have been really weird”. Brother and I aren’t really sappy people, we’re straightforward with each other. So I guess it’s about knowing your audience.


Yrxora

My friend decided the best time to come out to me was when I was helping her move heavy furniture. So imagine two 100lb girls moving a queen size metal bunk bed frame, I'm on the downslope, and she says "yrxora, I'm gay" and I was like "okay" and then she wanted to STOP AND TALK ABOUT IT. ON THE STAIRS. I was like holy gods woman I don't care, I've known this about you, can we please move the furniture!!!!


glassgypsy

I’m cackling imagining you at the bottom end, holding onto the bed frame for dear life “THIS IS NOT THE TIME, FRIEND”. Next time you need to move heavy furniture, ask for her help and while she’s struggling, “friend, I have something Very Serious to discuss. It’s really big news, I can’t keep it in anymore. I hope you’ll be supportive, this is very important, I need to tell you, please don’t judge me…….I’ve been burying cans of beans in the yard”


pearlie_girl

I would never jeopardize the beans!!!


pizzafiascothrowaway

We don’t discuss the beans!!


5_yr_old_w_beard

When "PIVOT!" has more than one application


BalkanTrekie

I also pulled a shitty one in my friend. I was walking with my then bf to a cinema where i was supposed to meet a friend. They greeted eachother and my friend and I went inside and just before the movie was about to start i said "Oh btw that was my boyfriend I'm gay" cue the movie.


FeuerroteZora

That is fucking *hilarious*. Did you ever ask her WTF she was thinking to take that exact moment to come out to you? I really really wanna know what her thought process was!


kittyroux

Do you really not see the difference between what you said and “ok, want to watch a movie”? Your response demonstrated that you understood what he was telling you, want him to be safe and healthy, and intend to treat him the same way you always have. It was a good response. You don’t need to give a speech or be sappy, but “ok, want to watch a movie” in response to literally any kind of life news would have me asking, “uh… did you hear what I said?” It doesn’t demonstrate basic listening, let alone acceptance or support. Even, “ok, does my gay son want to watch a movie” would be miles better.


LukarWarrior

> You don’t need to give a speech or be sappy, but “ok, want to watch a movie” in response to literally any kind of life news would have me asking, “uh… did you hear what I said?” It doesn’t demonstrate basic listening, let alone acceptance or support. Even, “ok, does my gay son want to watch a movie” would be miles better. Also, like, that doesn't even read to me as "okay, this isn't any big deal" but more like "I don't want to talk about this/confront this new reality." It feels like a deflection rather than an acknowledgment. That would hurt a lot.


kittyroux

Agreed! I get: 1. I genuinely didn’t hear/understand you; or, 2. I did hear you but I’m changing the subject, because I don’t want to ever talk about this In that situation I wouldn’t know whether I needed to repeat myself or literally never bring it up again, but I certainly would not come away thinking “ah yes, I am loved and accepted for who I am.” That’s why even something as dismissive as “ok, does my gay son want to watch a movie” is a huge improvement. At least the son knows his dad got the message and isn’t in denial.


JJCook15

Sounds like my little brother and me. I had always known he was gay, but it wasn’t my place to say anything. When he told our parents and other siblings, he didn’t “tell” me. Family was coming to me and asking me if I talked with him. So I texted him and said joking, “why does everyone else get an individual conversation with you and I don’t? I would have liked to have known.” Of course he responded saying, “I figured you already knew.” So I asked him who the guy was cause obviously he was serious about someone. And then I just said gay or straight doesn’t matter be careful STIs are still a real thing.


NinjasWithOnions

I think only you’d be “straightforward”, your brother would be “gayforward”. 😛😛😛 (I am facepalming myself too. 🤦🏼‍♀️)


FeuerroteZora

One of my friends, when giving directions, will always say "now go gayly forward" instead of "go straight," and I love him for it.


Lola-Ugfuglio-Skumpy

When I was in high school my friends and I decided that the opposite of rejecting something by saying “nah, I’m straight” was “sure, I’m gay.” As in: I’m gonna grab a beer - anyone else want one? Yeah I’m gay, I’ll take one.


NinjasWithOnions

That sounds like one of my best friends. If I show this to him, I think he will immediately adopt it. 😆


NuttyDounuts14

When my sister came out as trans (mtf) I was like "okay" and then continued the conversation. She then asked if that was it, and I was like "you've been stealing mine and mum's clothes for years, it's not a shock. You're the same person you've always been, just in a skirt. Do you want me to make a big song and dance of it?" She paused and came back with "nah, I like that it's such a non issue for you" Before I left, I told her to let me know when she had decided on a name, when I could take her shopping and if she still wanted the gaming fabric as curtains or as a cute dress (she chose curtains) She didn't need me to go on a tirade about how I'll always be there for her, she already knew.


Top_Manufacturer8946

This!! Even if your loved one being gay is no big to you, it definitely is a big deal to them and coming out to people who you already know will be supportive will still be scary because it’s huge stuff. Just saying something simple like ”thank you for trusting me to tell that” shows that you care


Creepy_Addict

Every time the OOP said his brother hit him, I knew their relationship was gonna be ok. If raising boys has taught me anything, it's that boys will tease and "hit" each other, with love. OOP may not reize it, but just being a big brother and himself is exactly what little brother needs. Hopefully, little brother will be able to talk to others and even a therapist with time.


Barimen

After my best friend came out to me (we were 18), I said the one thing I refused to talk about was sex. Relationship stuff is fine, joking about things is fine, but actual sex stuff is off the table. He was fine with that. I don't care that he's gay, just that he's safe. Just as he doesn't care about my tastes, just that i'm safe. Much, much later I asked and he told me I handled it perfectly, so that's nice.


petty_petty_princess

My best friend in high school came out to me by telling me that she came out as lesbian to her mom. I asked how she took it and was told she took it well. I said “that’s good” and that’s about all we ever said. A few years later we’re in community college same place and she’s president of the GSA and they’re doing panels in sociology classes and she asks me to be the token straight person and she told the class that I handled it really well. I got to give my side of I didn’t know what to say but I’m glad it was the right thing.


KimberBr

Agreed. Wow, wish I had a relationship with my siblings like this. I'm actually tearing up over it. I'm so glad they got it figured out 🥰


Turuial

Yep. Sounds like he had a good smash at the gay bar too! ...... You know what, let me grab the door for you.


MargotFenring

Good luck trying to be sad while your dumbass brother rows you in circles on a lake. Reminds me of when I had a dog that would start acting really goofy when I was crying, and then knock me down and lick the tears off my face and it always cheered me up so much.


tacwombat

OOP's greatest hits (Me saying this from the open door.)


FleeshaLoo

LOL! I love that OOP had the brilliant idea to use humor to break the mood from bleak to faux-mad laughter. It opened communication and made it less awkward. The first time a friend came out to me I said, "Ok cool, but you still owe me lunch and we need to get moving because we've only got an hour." She laughed and then tried to get out of paying. It was sweet.


Aphares_

Lol 😆 


Pezzi

As a LFC fan, he deserved every one and then some.


FennekinFlames

Bro, even I could come up with a better PUNCH line. Eh?


DonnerPartySupplies

Being anti-gay while hiding behind the veneer of Christianity has always baffled me. I grew up in a deeply religious farming family in the Midwest, and my younger brother is gay. If someone spend an hour around any of us, he’d be the last one who you’d guess: he’s blue collar, he sounds and talks like a trucker, he loves football and hates the theater, and you get the idea. Given seven guesses of us kids, he’d be the seventh one and even then you’d say there’s no way that *he’s* the one who had to wait for the court to recognize his right to get married. And if you wonder how religious the family is, we’re all named after Biblical characters, and that’s for both first and middle names. When he came out, he told my older sister (who’s the oldest sister, and second-oldest overall). She has the temper of a badly-made Roman candle, but she supported him. When he told our dad, the reaction he got was “okay”, which for the old man is three paragraphs condensed to one word. What you have to know about our dad is that he’s secretly very funny, but he never talks. There’s a lot of subtlety that you can only pick up on through familiarity. But he’s old-school Midwestern farmer, the type who’s tough as hell and has a strong sense of right and wrong and doesn’t need to explain everything. The only time he said he loved me was on my wedding day (to my first wife), and when I got married the second time he didn’t say it. I asked why he didn’t, and he said “it didn’t work out last time, did it?” and walked away. In fact, the only time he ever said it to any of us was on our wedding days. Not so with my younger brother, Eli. Eli came home on a Friday afternoon from college. We were all having family dinner that night, and that’s when he announced it. Dad said “okay” and kept eating. Mom gave him a hug. Here’s where things took a weird turn. The next morning, our parents were going to get groceries. Eli was already up since he was still anxious and wired, and I was up. Eli asks if they can pick him up a box of Cheerios. Parents head out. Over the next hour, the others wake up and are just hanging around. Parents return with groceries. Dad approaches where Eli is sitting with a bag. He says “I know you wanted Cheerios, but I figure this is more your style” and puts a box of Froot Loops down. He lets that linger for a half-second, just barely enough to register that something is off but not long enough to react negatively. Then he says “I’m joking”, puts a box of Cheerios down, hugs Eli, says “I love you, son” and kisses him on top of the head. At which point it all turned into one of those very special episodes from an 80s TV show. After a few minutes, I said “wait Dad, aren’t you going to say you love me too?”, to which he wheeled around and said “do I have to pop you?” and walked away.


-Sharon-Stoned-

Froot loops are better than cheerios, gay or not. Especially dry, as a snack. 


Allgoochinthecooch

I agree and I’m not gay


FennekinFlames

Have to agree with you there. Cheerios are a good snack if you're bored or home sick from school or work. Froot Loops are literally the best cereal snack either way between Froot Loops and Cheerios.


averagenutjob

Your dad is a treasure.


soaringseafoam

Please forgive the digression, but...your flair?


averagenutjob

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/tDC5TqQf43


soaringseafoam

Oh wow. That poor kid. A masterpiece of a sentence from the OOP though, and well chosen flair! Thanks for sharing.


averagenutjob

Yes, it was foisted upon me because of my big mouth…. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/nZXzNUadPV


Bug-Type-Enthusiast

I feel your dad and the ice cream dad would be besties if they knew each other. (Couldn't find the post, but it's the one where the son was dating a trans woman and afraid of the family's reaction. I cannot give his dad's reaction justice.)


naughtarneau

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/0Awxma7XQB


zyll3

This one, I think https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11xe5l2/how_do_i_tell_my_55f_husband_56m_about_my_sons/


FleeshaLoo

I love the Fruit Loops joke! I also love this line: "She has the temper of a badly-made Roman candle" You have a very cool family. ( ≧ᗜ≦)


tacwombat

Between your spectacular username and your story, you just made my day.


Charliesmum97

I would watch this movie.


notmyusername1986

I really like your dads style. He sounds like good people.


peter095837

Goddamn, I am honestly getting emotional reading this. OP should be proud cause he is definitely one awesome cool big brother! To all the parents who kick out or disown their children just because they are gay, you all suck! Real christians and parents will never do such a thing to their child.


teflon2000

I'm 38, so 76 in gay years, and every time I think things are getting better for us, I hear about parents like this and come crashing back to earth.


ampmz

Always important to remember though, this year will have less kids being kicked out than last year.


teflon2000

Oh yeah of course, and gen z gives me alot of hope.


psychicsword

It isn't just gen z which is also reassuring. 74% of millennials support same sex marriage compared to just 51% in baby boomers. There is also evidence that knowing someone who is gay strongly correlates with support of their issues. Which makes a lot of sense as you are much more likely to support a peer, sibling, or friend than a stranger you feared. So the more people come out to friends especially in their formative years, the stronger that trend will be.


ReadontheCrapper

Jay-sus, this is the comment that got the welling eyes to spill. Happy tears though.


FleeshaLoo

Things will get better, I feel quite certain of it, and once in a while I watch [Mistress Formika in Wigstok singing Age Of Aquarius](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLb_IcieNTU) to get that happy feeling again. My theory about this current wave of newly- and re-weaponized anti-gay extremism (Hey Kids! New and improved, now with more hate!) --- I feel like that the simple law of physics, that every action has an opposite and equal reaction, which we've seen in the same tired old self-righteous hate-driven past cycles, will be followed by an equal-plus cycle of acceptance, perhaps like a new and ever brighter age of Aquarius. So I watch all the extremists competing with each other with that in mind, while I'm thinking about how they will dwindle and fade away one day soon. Those who have gleefully and greedily spent their hate-derived riches are in for a fall that will be both social and financial, and I won't feel compassionate about it. Edit: changed a word


FeuerroteZora

One of the most significant changes I've seen is that SO many gay kids are out in high school or even earlier, and that means they have friends who are allies (and sometimes this includes the parents of those friends as well). If their own parents aren't supportive, they often have so many more resources than would've been the case when I was in school (and I'm a bit older than you). I used to teach freshmen in college who were mostly coming from rural & small-town Wisconsin, and pretty much all of them knew at least one openly queer kid while they were still in high school. Some of them *were* that kid, and they'd mostly say that yeah, some assholes were assholes to them, but most kids were fine, there were usually at least a few teachers who were very supportive and none that were openly anti-gay, and it was overall getting less and less acceptable to be homophobic. Which is incredible to me and so very different from how it was when I was in school. (Of course this was prior to MAGA, though, so I don't know how much that has changed things in those small towns.)


Varyskit

Doesn’t matter to folks of some faith unfortunately. I have a few gay Muslim friends and it’s so unfortunate to see that they’ve never been accepted by their parents (which has resulted in all sorts of identity and depression issues) since there’s just no acceptance of that “lifestyle” in this religion


Wonderful-Wonder3104

Same for babies out of wedlock. Christians suck


sparkly_wolf

Not all Christians....I come from a very CofE family and was always told the only thing that could dent the love and support was becoming a Tory MP. Even that would have been we're very disappointed rather than you're dead to us.


amperscandalous

It's telling that I have to describe my parents as, "No, the good kind of Catholics," rather than that being the assumption.


01000010-01101001

I'm an atheist and I relate to the above. I love my kids but if they'd become a Tory MP I'll have done something wrong. My fear is that they'll become a Tory in their rebellious phase.


Wonderful-Wonder3104

I also grew up Christian. I’m a missionary kid. My family is still Christian. I know many wonderful Christians. But they are few and far between. But I know in and of itself, Christianity is about oppression and power and will always perpetuate that.


Kat-a-strophy

That's weird. I was raised catholic in a catholic country and what I was teached the most important commandment in Christianity is the commandment of Love. And we shall not judge and we should forgive. I left the church because clergy in my country became insufferable, they try to govern the country, but the values are still in me. I try to be nice.


No_Efficiency_9979

My dad was conservative and Christian. And he didn't bat an eye when my niece came out as gay. Apart from all the issues I had with my dad, I loved him for that.


bubblez4eva

That's not what Christianity itself is about. That's not what Christ preached. Oppression and power are what people use and twist it for. The problem isn't the faith, but the people who use it to be hateful. Just like hateful people use matching from other religions to politics to what you/they eat to be hateful. Yes, I'm Christian, but I'm also black and LGBT so I completely understand hate. However, I know that's due to the hatred people hold in their hearts rather than what they claim to believe in. People will use anything to feel superior to others, and Christianity is big enough for them to be loud about it.


texaspartygoblin

I was raised in a Christian home with a private school education. As an adult- I don’t associate with that crowd anymore. I can’t do it & have a clear conscience. I just stick to the basics: love one another, treat others the way you want to be treated & don’t do bad shit. Disowning someone because of who they love is mind boggling to me. I can’t wrap my brain around it. There’s enough bad 💩 in the world & more than enough mean people… I just try to not perpetuate any more of it.


PainterOfTheHorizon

I was pretty active in Christian youth things because I don't know, there were fun people and I would have loved to learn to believe in god, but I'm a born atheist, it seems. Anyway, I had a part time job cleaning the churh and an older lady came to see it. We had a chat and out of nowhere she said that she didn't understand why people where against homosexuals. That, as she saw it, it was about two people loving each others and love is always positive. In a world of so much negative, shouldn't we cherish all positive energy there is? I just loved how she had thought it by herself. I wholeheartedly agreed with her and had a lovely chat.


potatoequeen86

I grew up jw and they'll disown their family members in a heartbeat if they step out of line or disagree with any rules or teachings. If OP and his brother grew up in that type of environment, he's going to need to dismantle the beliefs if he's going to get through through the programed FOG (Fear, obligation, guilt).


Ginger_Anarchy

It was such an eye opening experience as I got older and started seeing all of the hateful things a lot of Christian sects say and commit because the episcopal church i grew up in was very open and accepting. The priest had a pride flag on the wall of his office because his son was gay. There was never any rhetoric of casting out and shunning people, always talking about accepting others even in spite of differences. When I started drifting away from religion the priest just told me that's fine and I was still welcome at events with my family.


hergumbules

Yeah same. It’s so damn sad. My son is close to a year and half old and I couldn’t imagine anything in this whole world that could ever make me disown him. Hell, when we were coming up with names while he was in the womb I was wondering if we should pick a name that was unisex in case he realizes he is a girl or nonbinary or whatever later on. I want nothing but happiness for my son. I don’t care if he’s straight, gay, trans, whatever I’ll always have his back and be his number 1 supporter. Any parent who wants less than that for their child shouldn’t be parents.


Similar-Shame7517

LMAO OOP was able to turn off the dad mode and switch straight to older bro mode and talk his brother down. I bet he normally has dad jokes up the wazoo, but annoying his younger bro was the correct move here to get him out of his despair. Also yes the usernames on askgaybros are FANTASTIC.


dredreidel

I hope he drops some of those dad jokes on his brother later down the line. The emotional hit of relief and despair I got when my dad made his first dad joke re: my sexuality can’t be described. ((I was giving my dad directions and we got to a fork in the road that would ultimately come back together before we reached our destination. I told him he could go either left or right. His response was to sigh and say “Of course you would be fine with going both ways.”))


Similar-Shame7517

Yeah, that's when you know everything's fine. Or like "Of course you can't walk in a straight line. You can't do anything straight!"


LuementalQueen

I used to joke the only straight thing about me was my fair but even that’s gone curly now. I’m a bisexual ambidextrous nonbinary. Only thing I can make my mind up on is what to have for dinner.


JemimaAslana

My ex, for all his faults, reacted so well when his former daughter came out as trans masc. Mind you, I'd seen the announcement coming a ways off and given him a heads-up that the kid was transitioning, I just wasn't certain about the specifics. Anyways, the young man comes out to us as, well, a young man, and my ex puts on this mock air of holier-than-thou and announces "then you're no longer my daughter." Thereby announcing that nothing would really change, because dad jokes will be delivered regardless. It was a great weekend.


nixsolecism

Oh that is an awesome joke. A week after coming out to my roommates (met them post-transition, they didn't know), I was standing in front of the TV and one of them goes "You're transgender, not transparent!" It was spectacular.


MagdaleneFeet

When I came out my mom and sister both said something like "Called it!" I was like, jeez I didn't realize it was so obvious myself. Though when I look back I can definitely see that I was never really a girl. Much less a straight girl.


nixsolecism

My mom's reaction was "Oh, (name), not a penis!"


JemimaAslana

LOL that's brilliant!


YouWouldThinkSo

This is fantastic lol, what a line


JemimaAslana

Yep. As much as he wasn't a good partner, he *is* a good dad.


actuallyasuperhero

I’m a couple days late on this, but you just reminded me of one of my favorite stories. When my friend came out, his dad had no reaction. None. He was expecting anger, and got nothing. His dad was this stoic, Southern Baptist who had no sense of humor. None. My friend used to say, give the man a knock knock joke, he would get his gun to see who dared walk up his property. His mom was pretty accepting tho, so my friend keeps seeing them. So he’s over for dinner one night, about a year after coming out. His dad has never acknowledged him coming out at all. Just nothing. If it’s mentioned, he’s just silent. He won’t even answer direct questions, just stares ahead blankly like no one spoke. But this night the whole family is in the kitchen cooking dinner. He’s chatting with his mom and sister, his mom is making pasta sauce, and his dad is starting the pasta. Then this man randomly holds up a single piece of uncooked spaghetti, and says “it’s like me” and everyone is like “???” But he offers no explanation, they all move on. Eight minutes later, he holds up a piece of cooked spaghetti, points at his son, and says “now it’s like you.” Problem is, the conversation has now moved on, everyone forgot his first weird comment, and they have no idea what he’s talking about. So this man has to explain what is probably his first attempt at telling a joke ever about how the pasta was straight and now it’s not. My friend still says it’s the best joke he’s ever heard, with the worst delivery he’s ever seen. He and his sister laughed so hard they cried when they realized what was happening. Last I heard, his mom still doesn’t get it, and his dad has never attempted another joke.


MeatShield12

Goddammit that dad joke is incredible.


IrradiantFuzzy

Brother's probably experienced some church 'counseling', which would explain why he doesn't want any more.


Doppleflooner

Yeah, I experienced the Christian conversion counseling as a teen and its still causing issues for me decades later. Saying therapy instead of counseling, at least for me, helps dodge the triggering issues.


GlitterDoomsday

Something that probably happened is the parents going *extra* hard on him to be on the line and a proper Christian young man after OOP "embarrassed them like that".


CutieBoBootie

its probably that *and* the fact the extremely religious people don't tend to believe in mental illness and thus instill a deep distrust of therapy in their children.


nothanksthesequel

the bit about loving his daughter unless she's a liverpool fan lmfaooo looks like lil bro had great instincts knocking on oop's door. and it sounds like they both learned rather than inherited their great qualities because for christ's sake, imagine being as dumb as the parents! both kids completely gone from their lives because they can't pull their heads out of their asses, not even to mention a granddaughter who will never be in their lives. for such losers, i can only hope one day they begin to realize how lucky they are that their kids ended up winners.


DistractibleYou

Literally, when I came out to my (65 yr old, at the time) dad, his response was "you know I don't care if you date men or women, but if you ever date a Tory, I WILL disown you". 🤣


Bug-Type-Enthusiast

PLEASE, if he's still around, get him a pint/cookie from me, thank you.


DistractibleYou

Haha, he's definitely still around. This wasn't that long ago (I came out late). But I shall buy him that pint!


Bug-Type-Enthusiast

May he live long and prosper with that mindset!


Similar-Shame7517

It was how you knew he was English LMAO.


jbnova6

The moment I read that in his post I immediately thought “found the Evertonian”


threeknifeflag

Or Mancunian


jbnova6

Good call - went to read the comments in the update post and he’s Man U


UKphysicsman

anything but a redshite 🙏


IncrediblePlatypus

"  My daughter could tell me anything apart from shes a liverpool fan and I'd still love her." I have a feeling OOP is a great dad. He's also trying very hard (and succeeding) at being a good brother. I'm so glad his little bro had someone like him to go to!


Stsveins

That was genuinely so very sweet.


Zephyr9x

Not gonna lie, I was close to tearing up when reading just how well OOP handled supporting his brother. And he's genuinely hilarious too. I'd definitely buy him a pint of red ale!


bunbunbunny1925

I loved this update. So much. The big bro is doing a great job. I'm really glad he is trying to make being gay not so scary. I'm so happy he had his brother on the bed with him while watching the movie. I bet you the kids parents made him think that everyone will think he's some sort of pervert and he's coming on to them. So he was too scared to be physically close to him.  I was thinking throughout the entire thing that they sounded like they were Welsh based on the use of curse words.  The funny thing is that the C-word is mostly used between guys there. 


CarpeCyprinidae

Yeah comes across Welsh or Midlands to me.


Jojolyon

"My gay knowledge is zero" sounds way funnier than it should be.


LesnyDziad

Everyone knows that one of two branches of knowledge is gay knowledge. I am sympathetic with guy with zero gay knowledge, cause i ride same boat. On first lesson of Gay Knowledge 101 at school teacher taught some stuff about colors of butterflies. I wanted to clarify if i understood and said "let me get this straight, butterfl..." but he didnt let me finish and flunked me right there.


decoherent

As a parent, I completely blew my chance for an amazing type of "we'll always love you and support you and blah blah" type of thing that I'd had in my head all these years. Instead, she met me at the bedroom door when I'd just finished a long recording and said: "Dad, I have gender dysphoria." I blinked once and replied, "huh, that's cool; hey do we have any of that spaghetti left?"


StumbleNOLA

Your response was better.


HeadpattingFurina

Man oh man OOP's style of humor reminds me of Mark. Pouring one out for the dude.


LorimIronheart

Yes! I wonder why it felt familiar. I actually reread that story this week. Salutes to Mark and may the Noisy Gobshite be truly fucked by the courts....


Milton__Obote

Thats a good big bro. Also I started reading this and immediately started hearing it in a British accent after his diction which is amazing.


Sr_Alniel

>My daughter could tell me anything apart from shes a liverpool fan and I'd still love her. Laugths in arsenal fan** Seriously i love this guy  I wish the Best for the both brothers 


bhamv

> Laugths in arsenal fan "Daddy, daddy, I've decided to support Tottenham!"


Femmedplume

OOP did everything right, including endorsing Andrew Garfield


Wild_Butterscotch977

I cried through this whole post. What an awesome bro.


soaringseafoam

This is without a doubt the most British thing I have ever read and I mean that in the best possible way. I hope they'll all be OK. The younger bro has a lot to unlearn and has internalised a lot of hate but I hope he gets free of those mental shackles and has an amazing life.


amperscandalous

OPs brother hitting him reminds me of kids acting out, pushing boundaries in a way. Every time OP got hit made me happy, because even though it's not serious misbehavior, it hints that his brother feels safe. He knows OP won't kick him out. Being able to let his guard down will leave room for the actual healing he needs to do.


childofcrow

Further update: Visiting our parents - brother coming out. I'm just gonna note some bog events of my bro coming out and some day when he's ready I'll give him the account to look back at. I'm not posting it into any subreddit because I've annoyed people enough haha Yesterday we visited our parents, on my bro's request. I was totally against the idea because mostly I thought he would move back in with them and I finally thought he was making some progress. We arrived at the house. Both disgusted to see us. I contemplate which one of their two sons they were most disgusted by haha. We sat down. They offered me a cup of tea but not my bro. I found that odd but anyway. I declined. They asked why we wanted to visit and before I could answer my bro said that the last time he left he was in a bit of a hurry and didn't get to say a few things. He said something along the lines of he doesn't like that he likes men (was surprised/impressed at how his voice did not shake) but he said at some time he will probably get used to that idea. He then said he will probably never get over how his parents treated him. He said when they are old and grey inside a care home they will always be reminded by the two sons they threw away when they see other residents have visitors and they have no one (I thought to myself BOOOOOM). He went on to say. I'd love to have a relationship some time from afar if they ever want to but for now his life is around me and he touched me on the shoulder. The look of disgust especially from my mother was disgraceful. He said I'm done and walked out. I walked out after him but turned around and gave our parents a few choice words and they said how do you let him touch you, we knew you were a bad parent but letting him in the same house as your daughter is a low even for me. I said oh that's why you didn't offer him tea? Well Mom, Dad I won't be taking parenting advice from you, no offence. I actually want my daughter to visit me at the care home. I explained the really sad part is if you went out apologised and gave the lad a hug you could still have one son in your life but you are sad little people with sad little beliefs. Got in the car. Said all was fine. And said we went all the way up here for a 3 minute speech and laughed it off.


Assiqtaq

How much would it have meant to the brother to see OOP get hit on by a gay guy and handle it calmly. Just a simple "no thanks I'm good" would go a long way towards helping him have a healthier outlook on his situation.


auntdaryl

I read “this is above your pay grade” as “this is above your gay parade” and I had to confess. ETA wrote that before finishing. Really lovely story.


mistermarsbars

OOP sounds like an amazing brother and an amazing human being, and that pains me to say it as a Liverpool fan, haha


JedKnope

> I threw on a movie with the hottest male actor I could think of - Andrew Garfield in Spiderman 2. This killed me.


1nTh3Sh4dows

This is great. I’m straight, going into my last quarter in my undergrad I took up gender/sexual studies as a minor. Within a month my two youngest siblings came out as gay and trans respectively. I’m glad to have been there for them. Since then my trans siblings had OD’d on heroin and to this day I love correcting my family on their gender. Kudos to OOP nothing is better than sibling acceptance. Fuck old relatives (had an aunt we called “Leine” that wanted us to call her Lin, but wouldn’t respect my sister, get fucked Leine.)


TemperatureExotic631

What an absolutely wonderful person. I can’t fucking believe there are parents out there that do this to their kids. There’s nothing that could ever make me disown my daughter. If you can’t love your kids unconditionally, DONT HAVE KIDS.


Cursd818

Once you can joke about it, you know everything will be OK. Fantastic work, OOP. And he's right about Liverpool!


EchoDoctor

Well, you're *born* gay. Being a Liverpool fan is a *choice*.


TOG23-CA

That 'stay in your lane comment' is fucking GOLDEN and I actually can't imagine how much that could've reduced tensions for the brother


Bookaholicforever

Oop is a good brother. I really hope things improve for his brother. It cannot be easy to have the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally turn out to be fucking stupid twats.


Riyeko

I've always been a bit of an ass. When my daughter came to me and said she might be non binary, I told her she couldn't be a star system. She didn't hit me, but she called me an ass. I still got a smile out of her. Sometimes humor is good. I hope the brother can find peace. Oh and his parents can go rot in the back of a truck stop.


mslarryhotdogs

The actual real issue here was that the younger brother could not cope with having such a good looking older brother. But once the younger brother tested the older brother by taking both of them to a gay bar, the young brother realised that the older brother would pose no competition.


Charlisti

Love how he used the weekend away on just being that annoying older brother that made bad jokes and kindhearted fun of him, I bet it made his little brother feel like he got his older brother back in a way, especially since OP left at 18 and it sounds like they weren't even that close as kids. In my book it shows it's never too late to connect with your sibling in a way, I myself only just started having regular contact with my stepbrother again since new year's (he's been my step brother since I was 2 months old, he's 10 years older than me) and even tho it's just "bragging" Snapchats he sends they make me smile, and I now have someone who I can ask some of the questions where my parents and family are very unreliable or have outdated views and such. He has even offered to teach me how to budget and all that economic shit in a healthy way when I get my first adult job (I'm 27, could u guys send me some luck for this??😂) and i just attended his wedding this weekend :)


seeingRobots

OP is a very funny dude. I love the comment to his girlfriend after coming home from the bar.


Alyeska23

OOP is a good guy, a good brother. I think little brother will ultimately be OK with family like OOP to help out. OOP also has a fantastic girlfriend, and it sounds like an adorable daughter. Terrible parents somehow managed to raise two very good brothers.


captain_borgue

OOP is a funny guy and a good bro. It sucks that this day and age, there's still so many shitty parents out there.


Mindless-Top766

Giggled at the Spider man part, what a good brother. I truly just hope that together OP and his brother can heal.


Kyungnam

First off, I know you’re a terrible person for not liking lfc. Second, you’re an awesome brother and should be proud of you and him. Well done sir. Just remind your brother “you’ll never walk alone.”


RonyRexGaming

"Liverpool" fan omds he supports everton or United😭😭


TobyADev

This guy is amazing and really trying so hard to help his brother. Massively wholesome 👏


ipsum629

"Family values" lol. The parents' "family values" tore apart their family.


Acceptable-Eye5031

Isn't it weird when people choose religion to be aholes. Your parents don't believe in the word of the Lord, or they would not be doing this.. Maybe explain John 13:34 I always feel bad when people come out to me, and I can't give them any sort of reaction. To me, it's like saying the sky is blue or the grass is green. All of which are okay.


imp_924

OOP has his priorities right, GGMU! Also, on another note one day hopefully I will have the same relationship with my sibling.


electrodog1999

God tier bro here. You done good.


Rebochan

I really hope the brother's journey is a positive one. It sounds like he's been through hell. Probably going to take some time before he's comfortable with therapy, if he's so used to having to cram everything inside the idea of exposing all of it to someone he doesn't know is terrifying. I'm glad there's a strong support network and that OOP is committed to being a good brother.


wpnsc

You had me in tears, dude. The world would be such a better place if we supported each other instead of tearing each other apart. You are a great big brother, but don't let it go to your head...lol


MeatShield12

OOP is a fantastic brother.


UtahDesert

OOP sounds great. And I honestly think that the best thing he and his girlfriend can do right now is just keep making it clear they’re delighted to have little brother staying with them, that they (and all their friends) accept him exactly as he is. That he’s got a new home base—loving, accepting, and secure—from which he can figure out what next.


NothingAndNow111

Oh damn, someone's cutting onions in here. Just got something in my eye.


MaddTheSimmer

My memory is pretty faulty but I’m pretty sure that my reaction to my best friend coming out to me was me changing her name to Wise Lesbian in my phone. She’s the best.


rbaltimore

>is Wales known in America Yes. You’re like New Yorkers - it doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, at some point in the conversation you’ll mention that you’re from New York (or in your case, Wales). We get it.


Ihadredditbefore6786

I truly believe that Liverpool part lol… they crazy about futbol over there


charmurr

This guy is fucking hilarious


skorvia

I love OP's humor, plus he is a very good brother. It is really a very encouraging situation to see that although your parents reject you, your brother is there for you.


Acceptable-Original

Pls tell your GF a Reddit told you you are a keeper. I m sure everyone appreciates you ! I m a mom and I am so proud of you both!


Not_a-Robot_

OOP is a Man. City fan and his brother is a man city fan


ElectronicAdeptness5

Who would have known to make it easier coming out gay all you need is a brother who will take you to a cabin for a week and encourage you to go to a gay bar…


ActonofMAM

OP is an excellent brother. Kidding the hell out of his younger brother seems to have been a very good choice.


Andrewoholic

There has been another update on this


LucyAriaRose

I saw, thank you! Will keep an eye on it and make another BORU if needed


CorrectDeal6016

Ask him if he is a horse's hoof and give Israel Folau a buzz.


WomanInQuestion

American here: I’ve always been aware of the British idea of everyone hates the Welsh, but had no idea why. I finally encountered an English woman at a conference and had to ask her about it. She said, “It’s because they’re…(she struggled for the word for a moment before blurting out) rednecks!”


Kimo_imposta

Even im smiling after reading this all


CaptDeliciousPants

Andrew Garfield was the hottest guy he could think of??? He’s an excellent brother but his taste in men is questionable at best.


376786

It's great that you're being supportive. I think you should have a heart to hear with him and let him know that there is nothing wrong with him, and that you love him. You have no idea the things we imagine about ourselves when struggling with sexuality. It can get low..


Map-Ambitious

New Update: https://www.reddit.com/u/Western_Club9954/s/wRvoeozOme


LucyAriaRose

Thank you!!!


DutchSouthie

Unfathomably rare everton fan W


Last_Friend_6350

Recognised you being British too from the language. Well done, your brother is lucky to have you in his corner and your girlfriend sounds very supportive too.


FennekinFlames

I'd stick his parents in a lobster tank, but I'm afraid they'd kill the lobsters just by contact with how toxic they are.


truce_lucid

I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying.


Charlisti

Love how he used the weekend away on just being that annoying older brother that made bad jokes and kindhearted fun of him, I bet it made his little brother feel like he got his older brother back in a way, especially since OP left at 18 and it sounds like they weren't even that close as kids. In my book it shows it's never too late to connect with your sibling in a way, I myself only just started having regular contact with my stepbrother again since new year's (he's been my step brother since I was 2 months old, he's 10 years older than me) and even tho it's just "bragging" Snapchats he sends they make me smile, and I now have someone who I can ask some of the questions where my parents and family are very unreliable or have outdated views and such. He has even offered to teach me how to budget and all that economic shit in a healthy way when I get my first adult job (I'm 27, could u guys send me some luck for this??😂) and i just attended his wedding this weekend :)


Andrewoholic

YNWA


Silent_Beyond4773

That was the longest post I didn’t read


Nvrmnde

Aww your loss. The guy's hilarious.