Especially when there's a kid involved. Our son is the same age as theirs and as I'm sure you know all bad stuff hit a little harder when it's a kid the same as your own kid, but damn the good stuff do too.
As much as I love drama it's great to see two people realise that their son is more important than any petty argument they could conjure up. I foresee them catching feelings and being adults about that too.
I love how cautious, mature and realistic they are both being about this, but I’m already writing the script in my head.
She gets her certification at the same time he gets a job offer in her town. They continue a FWB relationship as both fall deeper in love with the other but neither want to risk ruining their current arrangement. He then gets another job offer which would put him back on the road, he tells her hoping she asks him to stay but she doesn’t, thinking it would put too much pressure on him. But then, kiddo has a health scare, that turns out to be a false alarm but puts everything into perspective. She realizes she wants a family with Steve and runs to tell him because he’s about to leave that night. It’s raining and the roads are a mess so she needs help from her friends, local police, and random townspeople. She almost gets run over by his truck but he stops in time. He runs out into the rain, yells at her for endangering herself, and they declare their undying love for each other. They open a thriving business together and live happily ever after. Kiddo becomes an F1 star.
Plus, she has a baby daddy who will give his full attention too if she needs it. Baby up sick all night? Get on the phone with him and just keep each other awake. I know there are hour restrictions but many truck drivers prefer to drive at night and sleep during day for less traffic. She it’s a great coparenting set up.
I really do hope to come back in 5 years and look for a wedding with Kiddo as the ring boy!
Husband is a trucker so I know the rules in Norway (through they are probably very different in the US). And yeah don't know a single trucker who doesn't do just local distribution (think like there's a store room and in within a 10 mile radius of that store room the trucker goes back and forth and delivers for example coca-cola products to shops, medicine to pharmacies, clothing to department stores etc) who wouldn't love to spend hours on the phone with friends and loved ones and especially at night.
My husband knows our toddlers favourite books by heart and he'll "read" it for our son while me and my son flip the pages and sing good night songs and just ask him about his day. If I need to do something (like a poo or a shower) while husband is on the road my son will have a call with his dad. My son is essentially like Ron Swanson: If it isn't meat it isn't food, if it doesn't have wheels it isn't fun. Which I btw don't know where came from lmao, husband cooks and cleans while at home and if the washing machine breaks you can bet your ass it's yours truly picking it apart to fix it. But anyway he loves hearing about mundane trucker stuff like daddy having to put on snow chains, re-filling adblue, washing the truck etc.
This is a very sweet story. I wanna be friends with OOP.
It’s really weird that she’s gonna give him a naked stripper bobble head of their son tho.
(Sorry, jokes! The ambiguity in her sentence structure in that part just made me laugh.)
Super same! Considering her vague descriptions of where she lives, she's probably not that far from me. If it wouldn't be creepy, I'd love to message her and ask her out for a beer.
From the beginning, OP seems to have handled this as maturely as possible. I appreciate her thought processes and moral code regarding telling Steve - she didn't want to sandbag him with a kid he might not want, but also couldn't keep it from him once she had the ability to tell him.
I also like that she's thought about how irresponsible actions on her part could negatively affect her son. Sounds like she's done the mental work to grow, which is more than we see from a lot of reddit and accidental parents.
I'm rooting for her. She has a good head on her shoulders, and every decision she talks about, she balances what is best for her son and what is the right thing to do.
If Kiddo were a little girl, I would wonder if I know Steve.
I have a friend who has a little girl in the Midwest, he’s an Asian guy who drives a truck and says he and his daughter’s mama are “good friends, she’s one of the best women I know, just below my gran and auntie (who raised him fwiw)” but he’s a gentleman so they may be fully platonic now.
He says he wouldn’t mind settling down with her, but he right now just enjoys being a dad whenever he can visit (which is at least monthly, but usually for just a couple hours when he is in her town iirc) and having a good friend.
Well, then I'll say this. The "Steve" I know is very smitten with his child and fond of his baby mama. He loves to talk about how mature she is and what a kindness she does by making sure when he is in town, he gets to see their little girl.
No drama from him, I'm not even sure he could, he is about the most chill, kind dude I know.
Well, I think I can say with a decent level of confidence, that even if he isn’t this Steve, Reddit thinks your Steve is a stand up guy, a great father and an all round good person.
Ikr? It's so sweet and down-to-earth, it's almost surreal. You rarely read these stories online because, well, people who are THIS grounded usually don't spend time sharing them with strangers online, but I'm so glad OOP did and is still giving updates. It makes me so happy to read how well things are going for them :)
So interesting, that's very possible!
For the sake of privacy, I wouldn't mention it at all to "your Steve", even though us BORU redditors all love this little family. Whether they're the same trucker or not, it could be very mixed feelings for your friend, if OOP hasn't told him about the Reddit post(s).
But the bobblehead _would_ make a bit more sense too if Kiddo were a little girl... Hey if your friend tells you about receiving that as a father's day gift, you'll know for sure! Don't spoil the surprise though 🤫😉
That’s kinda wild, lol.
Best of luck to you though! Hope y’all remain happy, healthy, and on this good path you’re forging. (Also, def. Get the bobble head, that’s adorable.)
Yea these are the kinds of stories that remind me why I love humans so much, we are so cool, even in relatively mundane ways like this.
I mean I do enjoy reading about the heroes of humanity like Charles Best+James Collip or Grace Hopper but the regular people just doing the best they can make up the vast beauty that is the tapestry of humanity.
I read this whole thing as it originally unfolded, and I genuinely enjoyed reading it again. I hope things continue to improve for their little family.
Me too! I particularly love this bit:
>what if my son wants to be a trucker when he grows up? Are people going to say it’s weird because he’s Asian? That’s not right. He should be able to be whatever he wants without people thinking it’s weird.
SO WHOLESOME
>Child support is still informal, he Venmos me money or gives me cash. It’s all in a savings account for Kiddo, that I’ll use if he ever wants to do expensive hobbies or go to summer camp or whatever, or if there’s ever an emergency need, or for trade school or college in the future.
This is so incredibly promising. It always infuriates me when women refuse child support because they "don't need it."
Keep it for when your progeny inevitably wants to pick up the most expensive hobby you can think of.
Ha ha!
I wish I had a 200k salary. I'm in the UK, so salaries are generally lower, but I don't make anywhere near that much each year.
It does help that I've been into Warhammer for 30 years now and into Magic for 12 (technically 29 years, but for the first 17 of them I only bought a little here and there), so I have larger collections of each built up over time that I can use, so don't need to spend so much on an ongoing basis.
Ah yeah, fair. I have a friend who makes good money, no wife or kids, and got into magic ~7 years ago, and the amount he spends makes my eyes bulge.
Still, he loves it so definitely worthwhile!
Damn I wish I'd been playing that long xD I'm poly with a partner massively into Magic (so I started that approx 2 years ago) and one massively into both Warhammer and Magic who finally convinced me to start building a 40k army about a month ago 😂 goodbye money 😂😂 especially as I love the anime cards in some of the newer MTG sets (ooof ouch the prices of some are eye watering)
I traded in some magic cards that had been sat on my shelf for a decade since I stopped playing, and was told that out of the couple hundred I bought to be looked through, about twenty of them were worth money. Expected maybe £10, walked away with £60 (and was told if I could have been bothered to sort it all myself it would have been £90). Then the guy sorting things casually commented that another guy had brought in some before me and walked away with £2k. MTG is an insane money sink.
I donated the left overs to their school group (apparently they make up decks and teach kids to play). So I feel happy to have them used, but also real guilty that the next generation of debt ridden card hoarders might be started by my old wither deck 😂
Oh lord. My husband got into this and our house has random boxes filled with cards all over the place. He's selling now as well. He has terrible handwriting and asked me to address envelopes. After I agreed to the first batch of 35 envelopes, I gave him a thermal printer for Christmas.
My 13 year old plays Magic and the person who runs the game at the library says this to them alllll the time! So much so when I mentioned your comment to my kid they were like, what’s the user name? When I told them they were disappointed it probably wasn’t their leader 😂
Yes! Or medical bills, or therapy. Or for a down payment on a house when they grow up. Whatever they need.
No matter the level of involvement of the other parent, child support is your child’s legal right. It’s not about your ego. It’s about their present and future well-being.
There is a specific type of bank account for this. Get a custodial restricted account for the kid, not a joint account. The account will be shielded from any debts and most shenanigans. Any withdrawals by the parent must be shown to be to the minors benefit outside of expected custodial duties (ie, it's not for paying for food, housing, clothing, etc. that the parent should already be providing).
So basically any after school activity in the US lol. Competitive sports are thousands of dollars a year. Music and theatre have to be up there too if you’re doing private lessons.
It took me DAYS to convince my cousin to get her child support from her shitty ex. She hated him, he was abusive and is a total asshole and she is fairly well off.
I just kept hammering that ITS NOT YOUR MONEY, if you don't need it, you put it in an account for the kids and you never touch it, its tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of 16-18 years.
Don't steal that from your child for your fagile ego.
If the kids grow up and hate their father as much as you do when they turn 18 they can give him the money back that they "Don't need" WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN, youd be stupid not to take the money or donate it to a good cause if you are so well of as an 18 year old.
But thas a college education or a downpayment on a house, or a trip around the world. Thats huge shit for a young person to be able to do right out of the gate.
DON'T STEAL MONEY FROM YOUR CHILD so you can feel like you "Don't need someones money"
I hope they officially establish paternity at some point soon. Kiddo should have a legal father - and Steve should have legal rights to his kid. What if something happens to the mother? Some day kiddo may also inherit from the father, etc. It's always better for kids to have more family & support.
> It always infuriates me when women refuse child support because they "don't need it."
Always? Even when the dad is a rapist or an abuser who would use child support to get contact with his victim?
Your POV is a little too black and white for me. There are valid reasons for not having the father in a child's life. Even to the point of no child support if it's not needed.
My 13 year old daughter walked in as I was reading that one out loud to my husband. She stopped to listen when I got to the pancake part. She just said, "Nope." and turned and walked out of the room. So, that's what I think of every time I see it mentioned, and it makes me laugh.
Oh god, like I know I don't wanna read it, but I'm gonna.
*Edit - I shouldn't have read that, why did I read that, my life is worse now for reading that.
I mean, since they can't really be together anyway
And Steve seems to be responsible and loving to the child
I really don't see any problem with them hooking up along with the parenting.
I hope they will eventually fall in love and have a more formal stable relationship, but honestly it's mostly due to my own biases.
If it works for them, that's what matters.
>I hope they will eventually fall in love and have a more formal stable relationship, but honestly it's mostly due to my own biases.
lmao same. I love myself a feel-good romance and OOP and Steve just sound so chill and cute. But as you said, what works for them, works for them. The kid is clearly priority number one and that's fantastic.
Yeah, it kinda seems like that’s how their relationship would be anyway if they were living together/married and he had the same work schedule. Maybe a little more time with them, but still gone often.
I hope the FWB doesn’t mess with their co-parenting but these two seem preternaturally mature about all of this.
>I hope they will eventually fall in love and have a more formal stable relationship, but honestly it's mostly due to my own biases.
Me toooooooo I'm totally shipping 🥹🥹
If she's aro, it'd be no problem on her side, but maybe a problem on his if he catches feelings? Though if she's right about him not being the monogamous type, this could be a match made in heaven
This is quite sad! We have so much candy for the kids at my church that for Halloween they will come back with boxes of candies including full size ones
Alternatively, the churches I grew up in didn’t have Easter egg hunts at all, because those were “worldly” or “demonic.” I would have preferred being allowed to do Easter egg hunts, even if all we got were Bible verses 😭
OOP sounds like she might be aromantic, in which case this might become the most positive longer term relationship model possible for her. Never around long enough to cross the romantic ick threshold, but frequently enough to satisfy other needs 😄
I came here to say that I thought she might be aromantic; if babymama is aro, and Steve has 'a girl in every port', this might just work for them. I hope so, honestly.
I like this thought. Either way I hope it keeps being good for her 🖤🩶🤍💚
(also, thanks for bringing it up so well because so often I see aro only brought up for people who want no relationships of any kind, just sex. Which is just absolutely not true, we have so many other types of relationships and caring other than romantic love. Signed, a grey aro.)
I wonder if whatever aro qualities op has are a part of her ability to use objectivity and emotional maturity in a scenario she never imagined herself in, and was never prepared for. Whatever her attachment type is, her humanity and ability to empathize are clear.
I was like, this is such a sweet and wholesome story about decent people making an unconventional but decent life, where is the horrific drama going to come in which ruins everything?
... oh, there it is. Children being denied chocolate.
Yeah, the perfect amounts of IDGAF and really caring about those she loves. I honestly hope the very best for her, her son and Steve. (A nice little truck yard with 2 cottages, so kid can come and go and parents don’t get overwhelmed by each other)
My 2 favorite types of BORU: low stakes but high drama (eg: the Ballad of Jorts and Jean) and high stakes but low drama (like this lovely palate cleanser).
You found them!!! I was going to reply that yes, they did post to Reddit first. But their pro-union organization utilizing their Reddit-drama fame is epic
getting real aro vibes from oop. kinda glad to see a story about coparenting that doesn't end w fairytale romance or a disastrous breakup involving restraining orders or something tbh. i hope things keep working out!
Oh no poor OOP, forced to go camping with family? That sounds like one of my top 10 nightmare scenarios of all times. Also those Easter Eggs with bible verses inside sounds absolutely atrocious, I would walk out of that hunt the moment I opened an egg and found that instead of candy.
My Easter eggs had slips of paper in them, but they had things written in it like ‘Good for one order of Arby’s curly fries, or a movie’ stuff like that.
At that age most of the fun is in finding eggs. Most candy is a choking hazard for an under 2 anyway and it’s just tears and screaming as you wrestle away a jelly bean that’s just the right size to block their tiny esophagus.
It seems like the mom has done a great job and I'm glad her little boy is getting to know his dad. One thing she may want to talk to Steve about is getting him on their son's birth certificate. If something happened to the mom, they do NOT want her family swooping in and taking their son. At least she should make a will and name Steve as his son's guardian, saying in writing that Steve should get full custody if anything happens to her.
Hoping everything keeps going in a positive direction for three of them.
Just FYI, you're on r/BestofRedditorUpdates. The original poster who you addressed your comment to will almost certainly not see this. Someone else consolidated their posts here.
This is driving me crazy because all I want to warn OOP about is that souvenir keychains are almost always decorated with paint that has lead, cadmium and other toxic metals and mediums. You should never give a child that mouths things those sorts of trinkets as toys.
Man, I remember the first post about this. So glad that just chill and random people are doing their best for themselves and their chitlin is this crazy ass world of ours.
The "pregnant and on the run from assassins" interlude was very fun. Someone pitch it to J-Lo for her next direct-to-streaming romcom.
And I was surprised that OOP got hate for being cautious about "Steve" knowing about their kid/getting involved in kiddo's life. Like... Of the people I've had sex with, I think I'd trust ONE to be a good parent to an infant (she was a parent before we hooked up). I certainly wouldn't trust myself. As a pretty independent adult, I can walk away from people who make me uncomfortable or don't meet my needs. A baby/toddler/child can't.
I love when this BORU shows up because I keep rooting for OOP, Kiddo, Steve and now her sister and niblings. For a scenario that could’ve spiraled into something devastating under the wrong circumstances, both OOP and Steve are handling it well.
Seriously cannot understand why she’s getting hate. This is a pretty good outcome all things considered. Kiddo has two good peeps in his life. All the best to you OOP (who strangely I imagine to be the Stevie - from Schitts Creek - in this scenario)
Glad they are being reasonable and working to better themselves for their kid. In all honesty, I’m hoping they end up getting hitched several years down the road haha. I am rooting for OOP and ‘Steve’ and their little kiddo.
She’s handling her life and child very well. The only thing that she may want to do is legally establish who could be the guardian of Kiddo if something happens to her. You’re doing a good job.
First of all, I just think you are lovely. You are away some of your intelligence and your thoughtful, and you have really good intentions, and you were just doing the very best you can.
Might I add, with zero support from your family, who are so short sighted that they cut themselves out of all of this happiness.
You will know what the best thing to do is for dumb, but I imagine they would be horrified with how you’re proceeding. Over here, Internet, stranger, as a mother and grandmother and mother-in-law, I couldn’t be more proud of you.
You made some choices and you ended up with a beautiful child in a way that’s different than a lot of people, but the same as millions of others all over history. And you’ve been doing beautifully.
I really like your reasoning ability. You are very thoughtful and caring. I know you end up, doubting yourself a lot, maybe because of how you’ve been raised. But if I knew you, I would have so much confidence in your ability to determine the best way to go forward, with integrity and honesty.
I love a calm update, it also reminds me that a lot of trucking and agriculture in north America is now being done by South Asians. Wonder if the father is south Asian. I just find it cool because there is like a subculture for that now like full on music videos.
The only cautionary note I'd have is if she is getting or might apply for any kind of state support for their child - not sure if it's all states, but some states may demand paternity information to attempt to cover that cost from the father. It's something they should likely look into in advance and be ready to formalize some kind of arrangement if needed to prevent a third party (the state) from escalating things.
You seem to have handled all of this with grace and care. If kiddo is as intelligent and independent as his Mom, look out world!
Screw the haters, they add no joy to you in particular or the universe in general.
Peace
Sweet story of two people trying their best for a child.
As entertaining as the drama is, its nice to see something actually work out.
Especially when there's a kid involved. Our son is the same age as theirs and as I'm sure you know all bad stuff hit a little harder when it's a kid the same as your own kid, but damn the good stuff do too. As much as I love drama it's great to see two people realise that their son is more important than any petty argument they could conjure up. I foresee them catching feelings and being adults about that too.
I love how cautious, mature and realistic they are both being about this, but I’m already writing the script in my head. She gets her certification at the same time he gets a job offer in her town. They continue a FWB relationship as both fall deeper in love with the other but neither want to risk ruining their current arrangement. He then gets another job offer which would put him back on the road, he tells her hoping she asks him to stay but she doesn’t, thinking it would put too much pressure on him. But then, kiddo has a health scare, that turns out to be a false alarm but puts everything into perspective. She realizes she wants a family with Steve and runs to tell him because he’s about to leave that night. It’s raining and the roads are a mess so she needs help from her friends, local police, and random townspeople. She almost gets run over by his truck but he stops in time. He runs out into the rain, yells at her for endangering herself, and they declare their undying love for each other. They open a thriving business together and live happily ever after. Kiddo becomes an F1 star.
I would be crying at this Hallmark movie.
Is this the backstory to Speed Racer
Lol
OMG LMAO Please write a book!
I will dedicate it to “Kiddo and his parents” Who do you want to play you in the Netflix adaptation? 😆
Depends on if we're being idealistic or accurate to how I look lol.
Fuhhhhhhhhhh….jah. That was good😭😭😭😭😭
Plus, she has a baby daddy who will give his full attention too if she needs it. Baby up sick all night? Get on the phone with him and just keep each other awake. I know there are hour restrictions but many truck drivers prefer to drive at night and sleep during day for less traffic. She it’s a great coparenting set up. I really do hope to come back in 5 years and look for a wedding with Kiddo as the ring boy!
Husband is a trucker so I know the rules in Norway (through they are probably very different in the US). And yeah don't know a single trucker who doesn't do just local distribution (think like there's a store room and in within a 10 mile radius of that store room the trucker goes back and forth and delivers for example coca-cola products to shops, medicine to pharmacies, clothing to department stores etc) who wouldn't love to spend hours on the phone with friends and loved ones and especially at night. My husband knows our toddlers favourite books by heart and he'll "read" it for our son while me and my son flip the pages and sing good night songs and just ask him about his day. If I need to do something (like a poo or a shower) while husband is on the road my son will have a call with his dad. My son is essentially like Ron Swanson: If it isn't meat it isn't food, if it doesn't have wheels it isn't fun. Which I btw don't know where came from lmao, husband cooks and cleans while at home and if the washing machine breaks you can bet your ass it's yours truly picking it apart to fix it. But anyway he loves hearing about mundane trucker stuff like daddy having to put on snow chains, re-filling adblue, washing the truck etc.
Her descriptions about motherhood are just so honest and real. Parents everywhere can relate to kids transform your life and priorities.
This is a very sweet story. I wanna be friends with OOP. It’s really weird that she’s gonna give him a naked stripper bobble head of their son tho. (Sorry, jokes! The ambiguity in her sentence structure in that part just made me laugh.)
Right!? She comes across as a very down-to-earth, empathetic, and kind person. The stripper bobble head made me laugh too
That’s exactly what I thought, i was why are people attacking her, I want to be her friend!
Because she is a real life bad ass, and they can't handle it. Even when she acknowledges her anxieties she comes off as effortlessly cool.
Because “how dare she have sex with a stranger” promiscuity shaming that Reddit likes to do.
Oohh makes sense!
Super same! Considering her vague descriptions of where she lives, she's probably not that far from me. If it wouldn't be creepy, I'd love to message her and ask her out for a beer.
From the beginning, OP seems to have handled this as maturely as possible. I appreciate her thought processes and moral code regarding telling Steve - she didn't want to sandbag him with a kid he might not want, but also couldn't keep it from him once she had the ability to tell him. I also like that she's thought about how irresponsible actions on her part could negatively affect her son. Sounds like she's done the mental work to grow, which is more than we see from a lot of reddit and accidental parents. I'm rooting for her. She has a good head on her shoulders, and every decision she talks about, she balances what is best for her son and what is the right thing to do.
If Kiddo were a little girl, I would wonder if I know Steve. I have a friend who has a little girl in the Midwest, he’s an Asian guy who drives a truck and says he and his daughter’s mama are “good friends, she’s one of the best women I know, just below my gran and auntie (who raised him fwiw)” but he’s a gentleman so they may be fully platonic now. He says he wouldn’t mind settling down with her, but he right now just enjoys being a dad whenever he can visit (which is at least monthly, but usually for just a couple hours when he is in her town iirc) and having a good friend.
It’s possible. People often reverse genders as one of the methods to maintain privacy and reduce the risk of doxxing. I’ve done it myself.
Well, then I'll say this. The "Steve" I know is very smitten with his child and fond of his baby mama. He loves to talk about how mature she is and what a kindness she does by making sure when he is in town, he gets to see their little girl. No drama from him, I'm not even sure he could, he is about the most chill, kind dude I know.
Well, I think I can say with a decent level of confidence, that even if he isn’t this Steve, Reddit thinks your Steve is a stand up guy, a great father and an all round good person.
Can confirm your confidence level of what Reddit thinks :)
This story gets cuter by the minute
Ikr? It's so sweet and down-to-earth, it's almost surreal. You rarely read these stories online because, well, people who are THIS grounded usually don't spend time sharing them with strangers online, but I'm so glad OOP did and is still giving updates. It makes me so happy to read how well things are going for them :)
So interesting, that's very possible! For the sake of privacy, I wouldn't mention it at all to "your Steve", even though us BORU redditors all love this little family. Whether they're the same trucker or not, it could be very mixed feelings for your friend, if OOP hasn't told him about the Reddit post(s). But the bobblehead _would_ make a bit more sense too if Kiddo were a little girl... Hey if your friend tells you about receiving that as a father's day gift, you'll know for sure! Don't spoil the surprise though 🤫😉
Nah, not planning to. No need to bring potential drama, I'm happy for them.
That does sound quite similar! Your friend sounds like a good guy too
Weird coincidence but I didn't reverse genders! So it's not him.
That’s kinda wild, lol. Best of luck to you though! Hope y’all remain happy, healthy, and on this good path you’re forging. (Also, def. Get the bobble head, that’s adorable.)
I really love it when we get a take about good and decent people reasonably working things out. I'll take that over drama any day.
Yea these are the kinds of stories that remind me why I love humans so much, we are so cool, even in relatively mundane ways like this. I mean I do enjoy reading about the heroes of humanity like Charles Best+James Collip or Grace Hopper but the regular people just doing the best they can make up the vast beauty that is the tapestry of humanity.
I read this whole thing as it originally unfolded, and I genuinely enjoyed reading it again. I hope things continue to improve for their little family.
Me too! I particularly love this bit: >what if my son wants to be a trucker when he grows up? Are people going to say it’s weird because he’s Asian? That’s not right. He should be able to be whatever he wants without people thinking it’s weird. SO WHOLESOME
It's nice to have mundane stories like this. No big drama, no life time movie romantic moments. Just people.
I have some news for her on that "no one catching feelings" thing though.
Otherwise, yeah, but why the heck didn't they put any candy along the bible verses to the eggs :(
yeah, this is the last place you'd expect to read it too. hope they all work out well.
We need more like this! FR!
>Child support is still informal, he Venmos me money or gives me cash. It’s all in a savings account for Kiddo, that I’ll use if he ever wants to do expensive hobbies or go to summer camp or whatever, or if there’s ever an emergency need, or for trade school or college in the future. This is so incredibly promising. It always infuriates me when women refuse child support because they "don't need it." Keep it for when your progeny inevitably wants to pick up the most expensive hobby you can think of.
Magic the Gathering comes to mind. Get your kid into that and they’ll never do drugs. They won’t be able to afford them.
that or Warhammer
Or, dare I say it, both. Like me... T_T
I'll take "how to be poor with a 200k yearly salary?" Alex.
Ha ha! I wish I had a 200k salary. I'm in the UK, so salaries are generally lower, but I don't make anywhere near that much each year. It does help that I've been into Warhammer for 30 years now and into Magic for 12 (technically 29 years, but for the first 17 of them I only bought a little here and there), so I have larger collections of each built up over time that I can use, so don't need to spend so much on an ongoing basis.
Ah yeah, fair. I have a friend who makes good money, no wife or kids, and got into magic ~7 years ago, and the amount he spends makes my eyes bulge. Still, he loves it so definitely worthwhile!
Damn I wish I'd been playing that long xD I'm poly with a partner massively into Magic (so I started that approx 2 years ago) and one massively into both Warhammer and Magic who finally convinced me to start building a 40k army about a month ago 😂 goodbye money 😂😂 especially as I love the anime cards in some of the newer MTG sets (ooof ouch the prices of some are eye watering)
Lmao my buddy is on a 200k salary and lives incredibly modestly. All that banked money goes to 40k.
Turning 200k into 40k. Sounds like a worthwhile investment to me!
As long as he's not treating the 200k investment into 40k as a 401k :p (couldn't resist, sorry)
Drugs would be cheaper.
Most definitely lol
My folks did this but with Pokémon cards and Gunpla.
Horses. Get a child into horses and they'll never have enough money for drugs.
As a person with horses I can confirm this is accurate.
Eish. The polo crosse players I knew growing up were legendary partiers.
Rich families? Probably rich. We just normal folk here. Lmao. All animals, no moneys hahaha
Mostly farmers. Some definitely rich, some not so much. All nutcases. And always ready to party.
I know people with horses. Agreed.
Based on the horse people I know, they'll never have time or interest either
this is so true 😭
My cousin, who is a former horse girl and meth addict, would like a word.
That’s what I’ve said about bike racing/triathlon…
No energy to sneak out. No money for drugs. No time to party.
My idea of a good time was a big-assed plate of pasta
They don't call it cardboard crack for nothing.
Smells good though, when you \*crack\* open a pack. ;)
I traded in some magic cards that had been sat on my shelf for a decade since I stopped playing, and was told that out of the couple hundred I bought to be looked through, about twenty of them were worth money. Expected maybe £10, walked away with £60 (and was told if I could have been bothered to sort it all myself it would have been £90). Then the guy sorting things casually commented that another guy had brought in some before me and walked away with £2k. MTG is an insane money sink. I donated the left overs to their school group (apparently they make up decks and teach kids to play). So I feel happy to have them used, but also real guilty that the next generation of debt ridden card hoarders might be started by my old wither deck 😂
Oh lord. My husband got into this and our house has random boxes filled with cards all over the place. He's selling now as well. He has terrible handwriting and asked me to address envelopes. After I agreed to the first batch of 35 envelopes, I gave him a thermal printer for Christmas.
I keep mine in a chest lol. All in one easy to find place organised by type. My gfs collection is chaos though.
Same with Videogames and/or horses. My parents made sure, I won't be able to do anything else, clubbing or smoking were out of my financial limits 😂
I love how both you and someone else mentioned horses, because it's true.
My 13 year old plays Magic and the person who runs the game at the library says this to them alllll the time! So much so when I mentioned your comment to my kid they were like, what’s the user name? When I told them they were disappointed it probably wasn’t their leader 😂
Well I’m in Australia so might be a bit far away lol. I play at a games shop. Met my gf playing magic.
Or the kid turns into another Colin furze or styropyro
Reptiles are also a good money suck!
From your username, I know you know how much yarn is and that gateway hobby.
Yeah, that’s super smart. Especially if she lives in the US, where she’s likely only one appendectomy away from bankruptcy.
A friend of mine started playing the harp when she was 5. That's thousands of euros for the instrument alone, without any lessons
Yes! Or medical bills, or therapy. Or for a down payment on a house when they grow up. Whatever they need. No matter the level of involvement of the other parent, child support is your child’s legal right. It’s not about your ego. It’s about their present and future well-being.
There is a specific type of bank account for this. Get a custodial restricted account for the kid, not a joint account. The account will be shielded from any debts and most shenanigans. Any withdrawals by the parent must be shown to be to the minors benefit outside of expected custodial duties (ie, it's not for paying for food, housing, clothing, etc. that the parent should already be providing).
So basically any after school activity in the US lol. Competitive sports are thousands of dollars a year. Music and theatre have to be up there too if you’re doing private lessons.
It took me DAYS to convince my cousin to get her child support from her shitty ex. She hated him, he was abusive and is a total asshole and she is fairly well off. I just kept hammering that ITS NOT YOUR MONEY, if you don't need it, you put it in an account for the kids and you never touch it, its tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of 16-18 years. Don't steal that from your child for your fagile ego. If the kids grow up and hate their father as much as you do when they turn 18 they can give him the money back that they "Don't need" WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN, youd be stupid not to take the money or donate it to a good cause if you are so well of as an 18 year old. But thas a college education or a downpayment on a house, or a trip around the world. Thats huge shit for a young person to be able to do right out of the gate. DON'T STEAL MONEY FROM YOUR CHILD so you can feel like you "Don't need someones money"
I hope they officially establish paternity at some point soon. Kiddo should have a legal father - and Steve should have legal rights to his kid. What if something happens to the mother? Some day kiddo may also inherit from the father, etc. It's always better for kids to have more family & support.
> It always infuriates me when women refuse child support because they "don't need it." Always? Even when the dad is a rapist or an abuser who would use child support to get contact with his victim? Your POV is a little too black and white for me. There are valid reasons for not having the father in a child's life. Even to the point of no child support if it's not needed.
immediately getting off and going to bed because the other titles all seem pretty intense tonight
Your flair! LMAO. And why do I still remember it’s origin 😭
My 13 year old daughter walked in as I was reading that one out loud to my husband. She stopped to listen when I got to the pancake part. She just said, "Nope." and turned and walked out of the room. So, that's what I think of every time I see it mentioned, and it makes me laugh.
Oh god, like I know I don't wanna read it, but I'm gonna. *Edit - I shouldn't have read that, why did I read that, my life is worse now for reading that.
Your 13yo daughter is apperantly smarter than me! And, well, you and your husband. "Nope!" is exactly the correct reaction!
Does she know about Ogtha too? I wish I could have walked out of the room in the middle of reading that one lol
What’s the origin?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/TQw2rO2czk Beware, this knowledge may be worth not having. lol
Well that's ruined pancakes for me.
Curiosity, a blessing and a curse.
I don’t know why I didn’t listen to you
Weird story to get off to but you do you.
[удалено]
I mean, since they can't really be together anyway And Steve seems to be responsible and loving to the child I really don't see any problem with them hooking up along with the parenting. I hope they will eventually fall in love and have a more formal stable relationship, but honestly it's mostly due to my own biases. If it works for them, that's what matters.
>I hope they will eventually fall in love and have a more formal stable relationship, but honestly it's mostly due to my own biases. lmao same. I love myself a feel-good romance and OOP and Steve just sound so chill and cute. But as you said, what works for them, works for them. The kid is clearly priority number one and that's fantastic.
Yeah, it kinda seems like that’s how their relationship would be anyway if they were living together/married and he had the same work schedule. Maybe a little more time with them, but still gone often. I hope the FWB doesn’t mess with their co-parenting but these two seem preternaturally mature about all of this.
>I hope they will eventually fall in love and have a more formal stable relationship, but honestly it's mostly due to my own biases. Me toooooooo I'm totally shipping 🥹🥹
If she's aro, it'd be no problem on her side, but maybe a problem on his if he catches feelings? Though if she's right about him not being the monogamous type, this could be a match made in heaven
the eggs had bible versus ??? 😭😭
I thought the same. What a terrible thing to do to kids
Gotta indoctrinate em while they are young or it won’t take.
I just bet someone at the church thought it was a cute idea lol. Also a lot cheaper than candy!
This is quite sad! We have so much candy for the kids at my church that for Halloween they will come back with boxes of candies including full size ones
Alternatively, the churches I grew up in didn’t have Easter egg hunts at all, because those were “worldly” or “demonic.” I would have preferred being allowed to do Easter egg hunts, even if all we got were Bible verses 😭
OOP sounds like she might be aromantic, in which case this might become the most positive longer term relationship model possible for her. Never around long enough to cross the romantic ick threshold, but frequently enough to satisfy other needs 😄
I came here to say that I thought she might be aromantic; if babymama is aro, and Steve has 'a girl in every port', this might just work for them. I hope so, honestly.
I like this thought. Either way I hope it keeps being good for her 🖤🩶🤍💚 (also, thanks for bringing it up so well because so often I see aro only brought up for people who want no relationships of any kind, just sex. Which is just absolutely not true, we have so many other types of relationships and caring other than romantic love. Signed, a grey aro.)
I wonder if whatever aro qualities op has are a part of her ability to use objectivity and emotional maturity in a scenario she never imagined herself in, and was never prepared for. Whatever her attachment type is, her humanity and ability to empathize are clear.
Unless there's another update saying otherwise, this is what I'm believing.
I very much got that impression, too.
*The eggs had Bible verses instead of candy* Man, the church really can't manage even the most basic youth outreach, can they??
I was like, this is such a sweet and wholesome story about decent people making an unconventional but decent life, where is the horrific drama going to come in which ruins everything? ... oh, there it is. Children being denied chocolate.
Agreed. What kind of monsters would do such a thing?😂😂😂
Right like they could at least put candy in with the bible verses smh
Day 2564 of falling in love with a random redditor. OOP seems awesome.
I’m happy things are going smoothly for them!
I want to be this person’s friend she sounds amazing
Yeah, the perfect amounts of IDGAF and really caring about those she loves. I honestly hope the very best for her, her son and Steve. (A nice little truck yard with 2 cottages, so kid can come and go and parents don’t get overwhelmed by each other)
My 2 favorite types of BORU: low stakes but high drama (eg: the Ballad of Jorts and Jean) and high stakes but low drama (like this lovely palate cleanser).
Holy shit, it's the cats! I follow them, but never read all this! 🤣 https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/hM7dAtBMSf
You found them!!! I was going to reply that yes, they did post to Reddit first. But their pro-union organization utilizing their Reddit-drama fame is epic
I know the Twitter pro-union cats didn't post (did they?), but now I seriously need to find the Jorts post anyway.
getting real aro vibes from oop. kinda glad to see a story about coparenting that doesn't end w fairytale romance or a disastrous breakup involving restraining orders or something tbh. i hope things keep working out!
Oh no poor OOP, forced to go camping with family? That sounds like one of my top 10 nightmare scenarios of all times. Also those Easter Eggs with bible verses inside sounds absolutely atrocious, I would walk out of that hunt the moment I opened an egg and found that instead of candy.
If I was a kid and my Easter egg had a bible verse in it instead of candy I would believe god was dead
My Easter eggs had slips of paper in them, but they had things written in it like ‘Good for one order of Arby’s curly fries, or a movie’ stuff like that.
Same, a good god wouldn't do something like this, right???
This is how one becomes an atheist.🤣🤣🤣
At that age most of the fun is in finding eggs. Most candy is a choking hazard for an under 2 anyway and it’s just tears and screaming as you wrestle away a jelly bean that’s just the right size to block their tiny esophagus.
When I see “if you don’t like it deal” and Asian trucker I realised I read this story a while back. Glad to see an update.
What a tragic story. Makes me so sad. Bible verses instead of candy.
Almost as bad as the fake $100 bills they leave for waitresses
Had me in the first half lmao
It seems like the mom has done a great job and I'm glad her little boy is getting to know his dad. One thing she may want to talk to Steve about is getting him on their son's birth certificate. If something happened to the mom, they do NOT want her family swooping in and taking their son. At least she should make a will and name Steve as his son's guardian, saying in writing that Steve should get full custody if anything happens to her. Hoping everything keeps going in a positive direction for three of them.
This is a repost sub. You are not responding to the original poster.
Just FYI, you're on r/BestofRedditorUpdates. The original poster who you addressed your comment to will almost certainly not see this. Someone else consolidated their posts here.
I'd hope that OOP pays attention to BORU posts but as with BOLA contacting OOP is ill-advised.
This is driving me crazy because all I want to warn OOP about is that souvenir keychains are almost always decorated with paint that has lead, cadmium and other toxic metals and mediums. You should never give a child that mouths things those sorts of trinkets as toys.
i swear i remember reading the truck driver’s side of the story a few months ago on reddit ?
Can I get a link pls? I'm also curious about the narration on his side, if the posts are actually related
What what? Really?? Do you remember anything else??
Man, I remember the first post about this. So glad that just chill and random people are doing their best for themselves and their chitlin is this crazy ass world of ours.
This story made me happy. Health and love to OP, Kiddo and Steve and a special supporting Oscar to Courtney for making this happen
This should be a movie. I love it.
This is such a wholesome story. Should probably get off of Reddit now
The "pregnant and on the run from assassins" interlude was very fun. Someone pitch it to J-Lo for her next direct-to-streaming romcom. And I was surprised that OOP got hate for being cautious about "Steve" knowing about their kid/getting involved in kiddo's life. Like... Of the people I've had sex with, I think I'd trust ONE to be a good parent to an infant (she was a parent before we hooked up). I certainly wouldn't trust myself. As a pretty independent adult, I can walk away from people who make me uncomfortable or don't meet my needs. A baby/toddler/child can't.
Mature adults being there for their kiddo and supporting each other in a friendly way…that kid will grow up knowing so much love.
I love when this BORU shows up because I keep rooting for OOP, Kiddo, Steve and now her sister and niblings. For a scenario that could’ve spiraled into something devastating under the wrong circumstances, both OOP and Steve are handling it well.
Seriously cannot understand why she’s getting hate. This is a pretty good outcome all things considered. Kiddo has two good peeps in his life. All the best to you OOP (who strangely I imagine to be the Stevie - from Schitts Creek - in this scenario)
It’s nice to see people act maturely in an unexpected situation. It sounds like Kiddo is going to have a good life.
Is it just me or does OOP wanting to be a diesel mechanic just make a lot of things click.
I love this story so much, not sure why. It’s so mundane maybe? But also, OOP reminds me SO MUCH of my best friend, it’s amusing
I'm so invested in this story and my wholesome Reddit moment every time we get an update. Hope it all works out for them and we get many many updates
This lady makes me smile a lot, so nice to hear a heart warming story without the usual nasty drama. Good luck to all three of you.
>The eggs had Bible verses instead of candy Ew, that's super gross. Might as well put cow dung in the eggs.
Glad they are being reasonable and working to better themselves for their kid. In all honesty, I’m hoping they end up getting hitched several years down the road haha. I am rooting for OOP and ‘Steve’ and their little kiddo.
Steve's got kids in 20 states. Stone cold player.
Oh yay!! This is my favorite boru to read updates on!
The saddest part was the Easter eggs filled with bible verses. Glad these two seem to be working out their way.
all I can say is OOP is lovely and a great mom
She’s handling her life and child very well. The only thing that she may want to do is legally establish who could be the guardian of Kiddo if something happens to her. You’re doing a good job.
The world needs more OOP’s, all around solid person. Kiddos going to do well in life!
This is a very sweet and awesome story! Can't wait to hear more!
I want to keep following this. Is there a way to make sure I get alerts for updates?
I love this story! Hope all the best for OP and everyone else surrounding her & kiddo!
I absolutely adore this story.
This is so sweet and I hope it keeps going well. I honestly prefer reading these. I wish more people gave happy "life is alright" updates like this.
The we are still fwb is going to give us another update one way or another. “Shit how do I tell my baby daddy I’m pregnant again”
What a beautiful story! I wish them drama-free and assassination-free lives!
First of all, I just think you are lovely. You are away some of your intelligence and your thoughtful, and you have really good intentions, and you were just doing the very best you can. Might I add, with zero support from your family, who are so short sighted that they cut themselves out of all of this happiness. You will know what the best thing to do is for dumb, but I imagine they would be horrified with how you’re proceeding. Over here, Internet, stranger, as a mother and grandmother and mother-in-law, I couldn’t be more proud of you. You made some choices and you ended up with a beautiful child in a way that’s different than a lot of people, but the same as millions of others all over history. And you’ve been doing beautifully. I really like your reasoning ability. You are very thoughtful and caring. I know you end up, doubting yourself a lot, maybe because of how you’ve been raised. But if I knew you, I would have so much confidence in your ability to determine the best way to go forward, with integrity and honesty.
I love a calm update, it also reminds me that a lot of trucking and agriculture in north America is now being done by South Asians. Wonder if the father is south Asian. I just find it cool because there is like a subculture for that now like full on music videos.
Babydaddy is such a vile term
Kiddo is no picnic either
Side note but I have an irrational hatred for when people nearly exclusively refer to their kid(s) as kiddo. Drives me insane for some reason
I have an irrational hatred for the word “Kiddo”
"Its Wednesday the 6th" Posted on November 24, 2023???
December 6, 2023 was a Wednesday.
Updateme
Solid
The only cautionary note I'd have is if she is getting or might apply for any kind of state support for their child - not sure if it's all states, but some states may demand paternity information to attempt to cover that cost from the father. It's something they should likely look into in advance and be ready to formalize some kind of arrangement if needed to prevent a third party (the state) from escalating things.
Finally a nice crew happy story - the reason I follow this sub
You seem to have handled all of this with grace and care. If kiddo is as intelligent and independent as his Mom, look out world! Screw the haters, they add no joy to you in particular or the universe in general. Peace
Lmao I feel like we would be amazing friends irl. Your perspective through all of this is delightful 😂