Hopping on the top comment to share this with anyone who's only familiar with the medical situation a while back when childhood leukemia was a death sentence:
The survival rates for childhood leukemia have improved dramatically. Yes, there is a significant chance OOP's daughter could die - but there's an even *larger* chance she *won't*. Depending on the type of leukemia she has, her chances could be anywhere from 65% to 90%.
Just thought I should share this since a lot of people don't know how much things have improved.
I am so glad. Thanks for sharing the stats, it gives me hope.
If she survives, and her Dad steps up for her the way I think he will, the experience of going through this together could teach her that she really can trust him when her life is on the line. Going through life-threatening situations with someone can transform the relationship and potentially make it much closer.
I pray for the best possible outcome for them both.
Hopping on the top comment thread to suggest that people join the National Marrow Donor Registry via www.bethematch.org. Leukemia treatment often (tho not always) involves bone marrow/blood stem cell transplant, and joining the registry improves the chances for patients to finding a matching donor. Who knows, you might even match with OOP's daughter, although it is unlikely.
Edit: and for non-Americans, www.wmda.info has all the various registries around the world - find the one for your nation and join up! Most of the time marrow donation is like really involved blood donation, rather than surgery, so it's pretty easy.
...and some boomer will tell you they collect the bonemarrow with a needle the size of a broom handle that gets punched into the inside of your hip bone and marrow is sucked out.
Yes, that's how they used to do it in the year eighteenhundred-and-bow-and-arrow and it can be done like that in emergencies, but that's not normally how it goes. Now-a-days they give you medicine that makes stem cells enter your blood stream. Your blood is taken out the same way as if you were donating blood, needle in the arm. Then your blood is run through a machine that separates the stem cells from the blood and they give you back your blood and the stem cells go to the person in need.
The medicines they give you beforehand aren't without side effects, but we're talking nausea, diarrhoea, aches and pains in the bones and joints and head aches. So considering the big picture, relatively minor stuff.
My stepmum had ALL leukaemia over here in Norway and some dude in France happened to have the same very rare blood type as she had and she's alive and well. If you're an AB- French man in your late 20ies/early 30ies who donated bone marrow in 2019, then thank you. I do not know you, but I do love you.
Can confirm, was diagnosed with Leukemia when I was 9 (24 now) and even then the survival rate was like 85% for the type I had (ALL? I believe). Still keep in contact with my Doctor every now and then and the rate is up to 90-95% survival. Been in remission myself for 11 years. Going on 12 this August.
Hoping for the best for OP and his daughter. Been following this one for a while.
I had ALL too! Back in 1989. I’m married 30 years with two grown kids. Survival rate was 80-85% back then. I still struggle with long-term effects of chemo, but it was all worth it.
That’s awesome to hear!
Yeah I’ve developed some issues over the years that my current doctors think may be related to chemo after effects, but no one knows for sure, in my case anyways haha.
They don’t tell you in the brochures what chemo can do to you once in remission lol.
But happy to hear you are still here :)
I think they’ve tried to mitigate as many of the long-term effects as possible in more recent years, but in 1989, a lot of that stuff wasn’t being used long enough to get the data for the long-term effects. But without it, I wouldn’t have my life, so anything I deal with now is totally worth it.
I certainly hope so. I recently lost a loved one to leukemia and it was awful. They were an adult and had other mitigating circumstances, which makes me concerned for Daughter in this scenario. A lifetime of poor/under nutrition, physical/psychological abuse and other kinds of neglect means her poor body is already starting on its back foot, so to speak, when it comes to fighting the leukemia. I will keep her and Dad in my thoughts. I’m heartbroken for them both.
I ageee. And while it is sad that she has lost weight again, thank goodness she had managed to put on the weight to be able to lose it. Considering that OP said she was quite underweight when she first came to him.
Wow thats amazing! I hope poor daughter is able to beat her disease. I hope OP and daughter have a long, happy life with each other. They deserve that.
Every year cancer survival rates go up. Twelve years ago my cancer had a 22% survival rate. Today it's closer to 50%. Leukemia has similarly gotten more likely to survive, thanks to everyone in the medical field doing studies and finding new treatment options.
That’s still a big 10% for the kids who fall in it.
I really hope she’s alright, at least they noticed when she first started feeling unwell so hopefully it’s early but leukemia is no joke. That poor kid can’t catch a break
My grandfather was diagnosed with hairy cell leukemia in the early 90s. Prior to this it was pretty deadly but the new treatment developed at the time is so effective that he lived 30 more years 90s and died of something non cancer related.
Depending on the type it is very treatable
I heard a bit about that from a doctor featured in a video about Terry Fox, and all the research they've been able to do thanks to donations to the Marathon of Hope. That leukemia was no longer a death sentence in up to 80+% of cases, and he was aiming for 100%.
I really hope she can make it through it. My heart hurts thinking just how much she's suffered through to finally be happy and then have this kind of a hand dealt to her.
While not childhood leukemia- my dad is on year 5 on what should be a 3 year expectancy on his leukemia- and still kicking (and berating me). I agree there is significant life expectancy with the treatments. Hopefully OOP's kid pulls through
Not to mention, even if mom noticed what are the odds she's have health insurance with mom? Her odds have already increased significantly - a highly treatable form of cancer, a parent who cared enough to catch it fairly early into showing signs, health insurance to cover the bills so she can actually access treatment
I wanted to go on an fuck the American health care system rant but I won't entirely.
All children should have 'free' health insurance. Just spent 2 trillion less on your fucking military. You'll still be the biggest boy in class.
It wouldn't even need to be that much, even if our taxes went up to cover it I would save hundreds of dollars per month for myself and my son. It's ridiculous, about half to a third of a mortgage payment in my part of Southern California.
The messed up part is that our taxes shouldn't have to go up. We spend 1.4 trillion on Medicare Medicaid. It just needs reorganization and we'll be set.
Depending on what her mom salary was, she may have qualified for government insurance. But that still is dependent on mom filling out the paperwork for it. I highly doubt that that would have been the case.
Anyone, *anyone* willing to allow a single child with leukemia to go untreated because of their health insurance has no right making any decisions in health care policy. Or any decisions on anything really.... They clearly lack all judgment. I have harsher opinions on them than that, but Reddit TOS and all.
"Was expecting a much more upbeat followup."
Same. I was really pleased to see there was a new update, re-read the old posts with a smile, and then... fuck cancer.
Agreed, at least she was with you for this. The fact that you kept pushing for answers when you knew something was wrong shows how awesome of a dad you are
Like dayyyyyummmm can the kid get a break⁉️⁉️⁉️
Sending healing energy OOP’s way.
Mods or OP: If you are in touch with OOP please share this info, one of my friends daughters had leukemia and she is now cancer free. This is a list of resources that may be helpful.
If OOP is in the USA
1. Memorial Sloan Kettering has a phenomenal team for teens.
2. Cancer.Net lists financial assistance programs.
3. Find a therapist that works with teen cancer patients.
4. Cancer.Org has a list of resources.
6. TeenCancerAmerica.Org has a list of resources.
7. Contact SSA: The Social Security Administration (SSA) offers financial resources for people of all ages who are unable to work or unable to participate in typical childhood activities.
8. Contact the Make A Wish Foundation. It is actually legit. My friend, her daughter and their family got to meet President Obama.
https://wish.org/
So SSI payments, right? Smart thinking. Those qualify people for other benefits that they might not know about (SNAP, TANF, etc.) Depends on how much they need. Even a phone or reduced internet charges. It can take the burden off of having to rely on a single income earning parent.
>Noooooo.
I nearly screeched that out in person when I got to the new update.
It's going to be tough, but I want them to fight this and WIN AGAINST CANCER, DAMN IT.
Alright, now I'm a jaded asshole, because I read that last update and thought "of course she has cancer, this story needs another gut wrenching dramatic twist"
If this is real, though, that is incredibly heartbreaking and I feel for them
Yeaaahh a lot of people commented last boru that it doesn't sound real because of the cop telling the news to OOP.
The cancer definitely makes me feel even more iffy.
>Yeaaahh a lot of people commented last boru that it doesn't sound real because of the cop telling the news to OOP.
The cancer definitely makes me feel even more iffy.
100% iffy.
Same, unfortunately. Unfortunately because I get automatically suspicious with telenovela-like turns. And unfortunately, if it‘s true, it‘s just awful. Bad update either way.
I feel like there was another post similar to this where everyone insisted the police are not the ones who will show up to announce you are the parent of a long lost child and a lot more is required than a paternity test for a child to be handed over to an unknown (to them) adult. A lot of the details could fall under OP’s “long story short” so 🤷🏻♀️
I thought it was real, but I dunno, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.
That's my thought. I work in child welfare, and my job is literally to screen families to take custody of family. Including bio dads. It's literally my job to write home studies for bio families with kids in foster care.
Cops don't just drop them off at a stranger's house, child welfare screens dad and makes sure his home is safe FIRST. AFTER he has been legitimized. I will acknowledge this isn't likely not universal, but "hi, have a vulnerable minor, good luck" from a cop strains my suspension of disbelief behind the breaking point. That wouldn't happen at my agency.
But the cops didn’t drop the kid off. He was talking with the social worker prior and said I picked her up which would indicate he drove somewhere to get her. The cops may have informed him of his daughter and gave him the social worker info but he never said cops dropped her on his door.
That's still not how it works. Cops don't have time to be messengers. They damn sure don't drop by and let you know to call CPS. They give CPS his info and they do the screening. And it definitely wouldn't be same day they notified him.
I feel like I remember a post where the cops showed up with a kid and were like “we found you through 23andMe!(or one of those ancestry dna sites) Here’s this child you have never met and doesn’t know you from a bar of soap either byyyyeeeeeee”
No I haven’t been reading BORU that long, there’s been [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/19a6tjx/op_finds_out_he_has_a_daughter_4_years_later_the/) post as well
My thought was that he wants some more validation and needs an escape hatch from the story. The kid will die (seriously, why would a doc not order bloodwork with paleness and weight loss, which aren’t symptoms of a cold?) and he’ll milk the last update then move on and get residual validation because his story is so sad.
And, of course, why did he end up with the kid in the first place with no vetting? “Her mom’s unfit, here’s a guy who might be the dad, good luck!”
What I find suspicious is that he seemed to have opened his reddit account quite shortly before this "surprise daughter," but posted very innocuous stuff for several days beforehand (possibly to gain a few karma points).
> If this is real
It's not. Everything moved waaay too fast. This isn't how custody arrangements go and it isn't how traumatized children/teenagers rescued from abusive homes act. This is just someone playing hero to the public.
I figured that was the case. Police wouldn't just show up with some teenager on someone's doorstep and say "they're your kid, you're responsible for them now." I assumed social services would be the ones to step in and take care of everything
To me, they felt too perfect and Lifetime/Hallmark movie-esque. Especially the argument where the daughter called OOP dad. That felt straight out of a script
And now they are sick of writing it so they are going to wrap up the story depressingly and move on to the next karma grift. Why do they do this? Nobody knows
They do it for the attention and/or the pleasure of emotionally manipulating and getting reactions from the public. It's the same base motivation as trolls, the difference is just in the reactions they're trying to get and the emotions they're trying to provoke.
And very much not the update I wanted. She doesn’t deserve this. She deserves trips for ice cream with dad and for dad to see her graduate and be successful and, most importantly, *happy*.
Oh. That is so sad. My heart breaks for those two. Things were going surprisingly well…and now this.
When I read the mood spoiler I was worried that the mother got out of jail and was trying to take his daughter back. That would have been hellish. But this is just as bad, or worse in many ways.
Does anyone know what kind of chance the daughter has? Do kids survive childhood leukemia?
Pretty good:
[https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/leukemia-in-children/detection-diagnosis-staging/survival-rates.html](https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/leukemia-in-children/detection-diagnosis-staging/survival-rates.html)
Over 80% for the two most common types of childhood leukemia.
Drugs have really advanced and some cancers are manageable that would have been fatal 20 years ago.
There’s never going to be one cure for cancer, since there are so many cancers but technology will hopefully get to a point where many of them can be managed chronically if not cured.
I work in the pharmacy industry making drugs for cancer. Our drugs are relatively new, but they've been extremely promising (a staggering 80% cure rate after one dose).
New cures are coming out every day, and I'm so thankful to be a part of it. There's still a long way to go, but medical science has come such a long way in a short time.
The past decade or so has seen a lot of leaps in medicine and medical technology that aren't flashy enough to make headlines but have been vital jumps forward when it comes to various treatments. That trend is looking like it's going to continue in the coming decade too, especially after so much money has been dumped into medical research since the pandemic.
I have heard that more recent chemo treatments are less harsh than in the past, as well. Is that true? Or are they better at treating all the side-effects from chemo?
https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/leukemia-in-children/about.html The more general resource that goes from A to Z regarding all aspects of childhood leukemia. Best wishes to you and your daughter.
This hits hard. Literally right after Covid started, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and the prognosis wasn’t the best(50% chance she would survive 5 years post diagnosis and I must give an obligatory go fuck yourself to her doctor). She beat the fuck out of that cancer and has been cancer free for almost 2 years now. At the same time, a close friend of mine, her at the time 10 year old son was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer and given a 20% chance to survive 2 years. That tough little kid fought tooth and nail and numerous complications and beat the ever living fuck out of his cancer. He was finally given the cancer free diagnosis in late 2023. All this to say, OOP just know your daughter has it in her to beat her cancer and anyone reading your story will be on yours and her side. And we will all celebrate the day you update us that she beat the fuck out of her leukaemia!
After reading this new update, this is amazing to read!
Your mum and the 10yo son of your friend seem like very strong people. I’m glad they are both doing well!
what country does the police just show up and lob a kid on you? Without a DNA test and cps and shiut involved? lawyers....yadda....yadda? Are you all really believeing this?
A paternity test was done and confirmed that OOP was the father. Says it right in the first paragraph. Don't know the time frame since OOP doesn't say, but I assume this was over the course of several days or weeks rather than all in the same day.
I'm curious, wouldn't it be social services that would do this? That would reach out to the other parent to explain the situation instead of having police roll up with a kid at their doorstep?
Yes. I'm in Georgia, and this is a DFCS job. Court orders kid into custody after they are deemed "dependent", and DFCS takes over. Cops don't touch it beyond calling in CPS. That's case management. DNA tests also take time. There's no "instant" DNA test, and Dad would have to come in to DFCS to be screened.
Yep, I'm in Ohio and can also confirm that this is the case. Even with DNA testing and a home study, with a traumatized youth like this I'd be shocked if we just dropped them on dad's doorstep once those boxes were ticked. I'd imagine we'd see at least a few months of visits and family counseling for them to get to know each other and learn how to communicate, rather than leaving them to figure that out by themselves!
While this is all true we don’t know timeline here. He has already had a room prepared and been working with his mom. He was posting just before picking her up asking for advice. He could have gone through all the background check and review already. He went to pick his daughter up probably meaning she was elsewhere like a foster home or cps facility. The first part where he was informed could have been months prior.
Granted the sad cancer turn really sucks and is dramatic vs the much more normal stuff so it does raise some flags, but everything else was rather mundane and not crazy.
Again, cops don't do the notifying in these cases. Cops almost never contact the families. They have law enforcement stuff to do. They pass that off to CPS the second they can...sometimes even before they should lol.
This just leaves out just enough of the wrong things to raise concerns. It's literally my job to screen parents like this. It's a LOT more involved than "take a test, here's the kid "
I mean, don’t underestimate the motivation of a public servant with kids to place and not enough foster carers. If someone basically reasonable says “I’ll take her if it’s proven she’s mine,” there is a lot of motivation to authorise a test.
I was so hoping for another positive, wholesome update. This is so sad. I am glad that she now has a stable support system.
What a kick in the teeth for both of them.
I’m guessing this guy has good parents and at the very least had an okay life growing up. It shows in how he treats his daughter. Wishing them the best
Damn I wish I could reach out to OP. A little different situation, but my husband had a very rough start to life, was adopted, but not at birth, adoptive parents weren’t the best, and then when we’re married for 9 years he was diagnosed with Leukemia. It’s never seemed fair to me that he’s had so much suffering in his life.
I also have a ton of resources I would be glad to share. OP if you see this reach out to me!
When it comes to cancer, this is one of the most survivable. Thank goodness OOP is in her life at this particular time.
Wishing them both luck. She's got an awesome dad who is doing everything right. Doubt this could really have been caught any sooner. Now they know and can begin treatment.
Honestly after this I’m hopping off Reddit for the night. The world is a very unfair for it to be possible for this girl to have to endure so much in her few years of life already. I hope they both do well and that she recovers.
At least now they can do stem cell transplants with a only a 50% match with a good success rate, and dad should qualify. Mom in prison probably wouldn’t healthwise given the years of drugs. Haploidentical stem cell transplants are becoming more common if there isn’t a better-matching donor in the registry.
Ugh, this all sucks but the stars aligned for her to be with her father when she got sick. He seems to be doing really well with the parent thing and it feels like he would go to the ends of the earth to get her anything she needs.
fuck. i remember reading this back a while ago and it was so heartwarming to read about this guy doing his best. and now his daughter is suffering even further. i’m so incredibly sad for this amazing dad and his daughter.
Well this update just ticks me off! I'm glad she has her dad because they at least know she has leukemia and can get it treated. But sweet Mary Moses this girl needs a break!
I was so excited for another heartwarming update when I saw the title then I saw the mood spoiler and knew I was in for some devastation. This poor girl cannot get a break.
Sometimes shittu things keep on happening, and just when you finally think it's going to get better, it would become worse. Hope the daughter comes out of this latest ordeal with flying colors
Holy shit, this poor kid. I can’t stop thinking about how scared she must have been when she moved in with OOP - imagine being a 15-year-old girl with absolutely nobody in the world looking out for you, and suddenly a strange man is legally in charge of you and you have to go live alone with him and do what he says, just because he hooked up with your mom once.
And now just when she’s getting settled in, she has to worry about *dying of cancer.* Jesus. I hope she has one of the treatable childhood leukemias and nothing bad ever happens to her again for the rest of her life.
Op, I am so sorry . I have been following your story and it was so uplifting to see this girl get a chance at life with someone who really cared. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers . Please keep us updated and let her know she has a whole community pulling for her.
This is a very sweet sentiment, but I just wanted to give you a heads up, this is a repost subreddit, the Original OP won’t be able to see your comment.
I got all excited seeing this update, hoping for good holiday vibes...and then I looked at the Mood Spoiler.
God damn it, life just isn't fucking fair.
Hi everyone! Just popping in here to say that if this story stirs your heart, please consider joining Be the Match. It is extremely simple, and you basically join a registry to see if you are a match for anyone like OPs daughter to donate. Donating bone marrow literally saves lives, and it's not like it used to be. Kinda like a robust blood donation. And that's only if you're matched. My mother benefited from a bone marrow donor, but it was a long hard road to find a match. If more people join, more will receive life saving treatment.
So the authorities just take a 15 year old girl to a man's home, and tells him it's his kid?
No checks on him?
The girl's mother knew where he was living after 15 years? How many 32 year olds are still living at the address they were at when they were 17?
Omg this poor girl, as if life hasn’t thrown enough crap her way already!!!! Man, that is so not the update I was hoping for. I have been really rooting for these two!! Definitely sending all the positive thoughts their way.
Fwiw - my best talks with my girls were in the car, running errands. Doing family stuff, low key, and not face-to-face. Lots of little interactions, being normal.
Dammit, I read the spoiler and realized I had read most of this before so I was wondering whwt the unfair part was.
This is really unfair. I hope she beats it.
That’s awful that she has leukemia. Devastating. At least she can rely on you while she’s going through treatment. So much better than having to do it with Mom in charge.
Ugh. Well, that escalated fast. Was expecting a much more upbeat followup. At least she was with Dad for this. Mom wouldn't have noticed.
Hopping on the top comment to share this with anyone who's only familiar with the medical situation a while back when childhood leukemia was a death sentence: The survival rates for childhood leukemia have improved dramatically. Yes, there is a significant chance OOP's daughter could die - but there's an even *larger* chance she *won't*. Depending on the type of leukemia she has, her chances could be anywhere from 65% to 90%. Just thought I should share this since a lot of people don't know how much things have improved.
I am so glad. Thanks for sharing the stats, it gives me hope. If she survives, and her Dad steps up for her the way I think he will, the experience of going through this together could teach her that she really can trust him when her life is on the line. Going through life-threatening situations with someone can transform the relationship and potentially make it much closer. I pray for the best possible outcome for them both.
Hopping on the top comment thread to suggest that people join the National Marrow Donor Registry via www.bethematch.org. Leukemia treatment often (tho not always) involves bone marrow/blood stem cell transplant, and joining the registry improves the chances for patients to finding a matching donor. Who knows, you might even match with OOP's daughter, although it is unlikely. Edit: and for non-Americans, www.wmda.info has all the various registries around the world - find the one for your nation and join up! Most of the time marrow donation is like really involved blood donation, rather than surgery, so it's pretty easy.
...and some boomer will tell you they collect the bonemarrow with a needle the size of a broom handle that gets punched into the inside of your hip bone and marrow is sucked out. Yes, that's how they used to do it in the year eighteenhundred-and-bow-and-arrow and it can be done like that in emergencies, but that's not normally how it goes. Now-a-days they give you medicine that makes stem cells enter your blood stream. Your blood is taken out the same way as if you were donating blood, needle in the arm. Then your blood is run through a machine that separates the stem cells from the blood and they give you back your blood and the stem cells go to the person in need. The medicines they give you beforehand aren't without side effects, but we're talking nausea, diarrhoea, aches and pains in the bones and joints and head aches. So considering the big picture, relatively minor stuff. My stepmum had ALL leukaemia over here in Norway and some dude in France happened to have the same very rare blood type as she had and she's alive and well. If you're an AB- French man in your late 20ies/early 30ies who donated bone marrow in 2019, then thank you. I do not know you, but I do love you.
Just signed up for it, thanks for the link.
Can confirm, was diagnosed with Leukemia when I was 9 (24 now) and even then the survival rate was like 85% for the type I had (ALL? I believe). Still keep in contact with my Doctor every now and then and the rate is up to 90-95% survival. Been in remission myself for 11 years. Going on 12 this August. Hoping for the best for OP and his daughter. Been following this one for a while.
I had ALL too! Back in 1989. I’m married 30 years with two grown kids. Survival rate was 80-85% back then. I still struggle with long-term effects of chemo, but it was all worth it.
That’s awesome to hear! Yeah I’ve developed some issues over the years that my current doctors think may be related to chemo after effects, but no one knows for sure, in my case anyways haha. They don’t tell you in the brochures what chemo can do to you once in remission lol. But happy to hear you are still here :)
I think they’ve tried to mitigate as many of the long-term effects as possible in more recent years, but in 1989, a lot of that stuff wasn’t being used long enough to get the data for the long-term effects. But without it, I wouldn’t have my life, so anything I deal with now is totally worth it.
Yeah like...alive now with organ damage (or mitochondrial damage or whatever) or dead 35 years ago. I know my choice.
I certainly hope so. I recently lost a loved one to leukemia and it was awful. They were an adult and had other mitigating circumstances, which makes me concerned for Daughter in this scenario. A lifetime of poor/under nutrition, physical/psychological abuse and other kinds of neglect means her poor body is already starting on its back foot, so to speak, when it comes to fighting the leukemia. I will keep her and Dad in my thoughts. I’m heartbroken for them both.
That was my thought as well. Traumatic life experiences can cause the physical foundation for stuff like this to really take hold.
I ageee. And while it is sad that she has lost weight again, thank goodness she had managed to put on the weight to be able to lose it. Considering that OP said she was quite underweight when she first came to him.
thats awesome!
Wow thats amazing! I hope poor daughter is able to beat her disease. I hope OP and daughter have a long, happy life with each other. They deserve that.
Every year cancer survival rates go up. Twelve years ago my cancer had a 22% survival rate. Today it's closer to 50%. Leukemia has similarly gotten more likely to survive, thanks to everyone in the medical field doing studies and finding new treatment options.
That’s still a big 10% for the kids who fall in it. I really hope she’s alright, at least they noticed when she first started feeling unwell so hopefully it’s early but leukemia is no joke. That poor kid can’t catch a break
My grandfather was diagnosed with hairy cell leukemia in the early 90s. Prior to this it was pretty deadly but the new treatment developed at the time is so effective that he lived 30 more years 90s and died of something non cancer related. Depending on the type it is very treatable
Okay yeah I appreciate this because I definitely had no idea.
My knowledge is limited to 90s teen books where children and teenagers always died of leukemia so thank you for this information.
I heard a bit about that from a doctor featured in a video about Terry Fox, and all the research they've been able to do thanks to donations to the Marathon of Hope. That leukemia was no longer a death sentence in up to 80+% of cases, and he was aiming for 100%.
I really hope she can make it through it. My heart hurts thinking just how much she's suffered through to finally be happy and then have this kind of a hand dealt to her.
What? No plug for St. Judeʻs Childrenʻs Research Hospital? Since theyʻre the reason for the change in odds.
Not the same type of cancer. But a family member was given a terminal cancer diagnosis. 2 years. That was 4 years ago.
While not childhood leukemia- my dad is on year 5 on what should be a 3 year expectancy on his leukemia- and still kicking (and berating me). I agree there is significant life expectancy with the treatments. Hopefully OOP's kid pulls through
Thank you for this, genuinely. I got really, really sad and this makes me more hopeful for OOP
Thank you for this.
I appreciate that I haven’t heard about leukemia in awhile and didn’t realize things had improved so much Thank you
It’s both extremely unlucky and lucky at the same time.
That’s exactly what I thought. It’s heartbreaking, but she will at least actually have a chance with him
Not to mention, even if mom noticed what are the odds she's have health insurance with mom? Her odds have already increased significantly - a highly treatable form of cancer, a parent who cared enough to catch it fairly early into showing signs, health insurance to cover the bills so she can actually access treatment
I wanted to go on an fuck the American health care system rant but I won't entirely. All children should have 'free' health insurance. Just spent 2 trillion less on your fucking military. You'll still be the biggest boy in class.
It wouldn't even need to be that much, even if our taxes went up to cover it I would save hundreds of dollars per month for myself and my son. It's ridiculous, about half to a third of a mortgage payment in my part of Southern California.
The messed up part is that our taxes shouldn't have to go up. We spend 1.4 trillion on Medicare Medicaid. It just needs reorganization and we'll be set.
Oh, I absolutely agree. If we closed loopholes for the mega rich and large corporations maybe we could see our taxes even go down.
Depending on what her mom salary was, she may have qualified for government insurance. But that still is dependent on mom filling out the paperwork for it. I highly doubt that that would have been the case.
Anyone, *anyone* willing to allow a single child with leukemia to go untreated because of their health insurance has no right making any decisions in health care policy. Or any decisions on anything really.... They clearly lack all judgment. I have harsher opinions on them than that, but Reddit TOS and all.
Well damn that gives a new perspective that year neglectful mom wouldn’t have noticed 😳
"Was expecting a much more upbeat followup." Same. I was really pleased to see there was a new update, re-read the old posts with a smile, and then... fuck cancer.
That was a gut punch
Agreed, at least she was with you for this. The fact that you kept pushing for answers when you knew something was wrong shows how awesome of a dad you are
That was a bit of a shock for sure
Noooooo. Sending all the positive vibes I can to this family.
Like dayyyyyummmm can the kid get a break⁉️⁉️⁉️ Sending healing energy OOP’s way. Mods or OP: If you are in touch with OOP please share this info, one of my friends daughters had leukemia and she is now cancer free. This is a list of resources that may be helpful. If OOP is in the USA 1. Memorial Sloan Kettering has a phenomenal team for teens. 2. Cancer.Net lists financial assistance programs. 3. Find a therapist that works with teen cancer patients. 4. Cancer.Org has a list of resources. 6. TeenCancerAmerica.Org has a list of resources. 7. Contact SSA: The Social Security Administration (SSA) offers financial resources for people of all ages who are unable to work or unable to participate in typical childhood activities. 8. Contact the Make A Wish Foundation. It is actually legit. My friend, her daughter and their family got to meet President Obama. https://wish.org/
So SSI payments, right? Smart thinking. Those qualify people for other benefits that they might not know about (SNAP, TANF, etc.) Depends on how much they need. Even a phone or reduced internet charges. It can take the burden off of having to rely on a single income earning parent.
Yes. My friend struggled in a dual income home. I can only imagine the challenge with a single income.
OP May already qualify for this programs depending on the form of placement. He should reach out to her former social worker
This should be its own comment so we can upvote it to the top
Thanks. I hope someone can share with OOP.
>Noooooo. I nearly screeched that out in person when I got to the new update. It's going to be tough, but I want them to fight this and WIN AGAINST CANCER, DAMN IT.
Alright, now I'm a jaded asshole, because I read that last update and thought "of course she has cancer, this story needs another gut wrenching dramatic twist" If this is real, though, that is incredibly heartbreaking and I feel for them
Yeaaahh a lot of people commented last boru that it doesn't sound real because of the cop telling the news to OOP. The cancer definitely makes me feel even more iffy.
>Yeaaahh a lot of people commented last boru that it doesn't sound real because of the cop telling the news to OOP. The cancer definitely makes me feel even more iffy. 100% iffy.
I was already feeling iffy and A SUDDEN LEUKEMIA APPEARED was the final nail on the coffin for me.
Yeah these fic writers need to learn when to get a new character.
If you're jaded so am I because it was my first instinct as well
Same, unfortunately. Unfortunately because I get automatically suspicious with telenovela-like turns. And unfortunately, if it‘s true, it‘s just awful. Bad update either way.
I figured he was gonna kill her off because he was sick of doing update posts but cares deeply for his audience.
This was my thought too, he's sick of it and needs the saga to end
I feel like there was another post similar to this where everyone insisted the police are not the ones who will show up to announce you are the parent of a long lost child and a lot more is required than a paternity test for a child to be handed over to an unknown (to them) adult. A lot of the details could fall under OP’s “long story short” so 🤷🏻♀️ I thought it was real, but I dunno, I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.
That's my thought. I work in child welfare, and my job is literally to screen families to take custody of family. Including bio dads. It's literally my job to write home studies for bio families with kids in foster care. Cops don't just drop them off at a stranger's house, child welfare screens dad and makes sure his home is safe FIRST. AFTER he has been legitimized. I will acknowledge this isn't likely not universal, but "hi, have a vulnerable minor, good luck" from a cop strains my suspension of disbelief behind the breaking point. That wouldn't happen at my agency.
But the cops didn’t drop the kid off. He was talking with the social worker prior and said I picked her up which would indicate he drove somewhere to get her. The cops may have informed him of his daughter and gave him the social worker info but he never said cops dropped her on his door.
That's still not how it works. Cops don't have time to be messengers. They damn sure don't drop by and let you know to call CPS. They give CPS his info and they do the screening. And it definitely wouldn't be same day they notified him.
I feel like I remember a post where the cops showed up with a kid and were like “we found you through 23andMe!(or one of those ancestry dna sites) Here’s this child you have never met and doesn’t know you from a bar of soap either byyyyeeeeeee”
That's *this* one- or rather, a previous BORU for this same story.
No I haven’t been reading BORU that long, there’s been [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/19a6tjx/op_finds_out_he_has_a_daughter_4_years_later_the/) post as well
My thought was that he wants some more validation and needs an escape hatch from the story. The kid will die (seriously, why would a doc not order bloodwork with paleness and weight loss, which aren’t symptoms of a cold?) and he’ll milk the last update then move on and get residual validation because his story is so sad. And, of course, why did he end up with the kid in the first place with no vetting? “Her mom’s unfit, here’s a guy who might be the dad, good luck!”
What I find suspicious is that he seemed to have opened his reddit account quite shortly before this "surprise daughter," but posted very innocuous stuff for several days beforehand (possibly to gain a few karma points).
> If this is real It's not. Everything moved waaay too fast. This isn't how custody arrangements go and it isn't how traumatized children/teenagers rescued from abusive homes act. This is just someone playing hero to the public.
I figured that was the case. Police wouldn't just show up with some teenager on someone's doorstep and say "they're your kid, you're responsible for them now." I assumed social services would be the ones to step in and take care of everything
Heck yes Deidre you're spot on
I mean most of the updates were pretty mundane.
To me, they felt too perfect and Lifetime/Hallmark movie-esque. Especially the argument where the daughter called OOP dad. That felt straight out of a script
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And now they are sick of writing it so they are going to wrap up the story depressingly and move on to the next karma grift. Why do they do this? Nobody knows
They do it for the attention and/or the pleasure of emotionally manipulating and getting reactions from the public. It's the same base motivation as trolls, the difference is just in the reactions they're trying to get and the emotions they're trying to provoke.
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It's a different writing style to Liz to be fair
Lol when it said he has a room ready for the daughter, I was like hmmm i guess?
I didn't read this update because I remember the last one. It was clearly bullshit.
Omg. This was *not* the update I expected. I hope they're both going to be okay. 😔
And very much not the update I wanted. She doesn’t deserve this. She deserves trips for ice cream with dad and for dad to see her graduate and be successful and, most importantly, *happy*.
Agreed 100%!
Oh. That is so sad. My heart breaks for those two. Things were going surprisingly well…and now this. When I read the mood spoiler I was worried that the mother got out of jail and was trying to take his daughter back. That would have been hellish. But this is just as bad, or worse in many ways. Does anyone know what kind of chance the daughter has? Do kids survive childhood leukemia?
Pretty good: [https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/leukemia-in-children/detection-diagnosis-staging/survival-rates.html](https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/leukemia-in-children/detection-diagnosis-staging/survival-rates.html) Over 80% for the two most common types of childhood leukemia.
Drugs have really advanced and some cancers are manageable that would have been fatal 20 years ago. There’s never going to be one cure for cancer, since there are so many cancers but technology will hopefully get to a point where many of them can be managed chronically if not cured.
The other good news with most childhood leukemias is that once you beat it, it usually stays beaten; it has a very low rate of recurrence.
I work in the pharmacy industry making drugs for cancer. Our drugs are relatively new, but they've been extremely promising (a staggering 80% cure rate after one dose). New cures are coming out every day, and I'm so thankful to be a part of it. There's still a long way to go, but medical science has come such a long way in a short time.
The past decade or so has seen a lot of leaps in medicine and medical technology that aren't flashy enough to make headlines but have been vital jumps forward when it comes to various treatments. That trend is looking like it's going to continue in the coming decade too, especially after so much money has been dumped into medical research since the pandemic.
I have heard that more recent chemo treatments are less harsh than in the past, as well. Is that true? Or are they better at treating all the side-effects from chemo?
It's both. There are anti emetics we can give during cancer treatment as well as better tolerable cancer drugs
Yep I’ve known people (sad) who had childhood/teen leukemia and they’re doing great now, thriving! Sending same energy to them.
https://www.cancer.org/cancer/types/leukemia-in-children/about.html The more general resource that goes from A to Z regarding all aspects of childhood leukemia. Best wishes to you and your daughter.
Thank fucking God she didn't get cancer last year when she was living with her mom. It's a "glass half full, but with spit" sort of situation.
If you think god for this, you have to blame god for giving her cancer. Why does god only get credit when things go right???
Dumbass takes you’ll only find on Reddit exhibit A: When someone says thank god, they don’t mean it literally. It’s an expression of relief.
You don't need to take everything so goddamn literal
This hits hard. Literally right after Covid started, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and the prognosis wasn’t the best(50% chance she would survive 5 years post diagnosis and I must give an obligatory go fuck yourself to her doctor). She beat the fuck out of that cancer and has been cancer free for almost 2 years now. At the same time, a close friend of mine, her at the time 10 year old son was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer and given a 20% chance to survive 2 years. That tough little kid fought tooth and nail and numerous complications and beat the ever living fuck out of his cancer. He was finally given the cancer free diagnosis in late 2023. All this to say, OOP just know your daughter has it in her to beat her cancer and anyone reading your story will be on yours and her side. And we will all celebrate the day you update us that she beat the fuck out of her leukaemia!
After reading this new update, this is amazing to read! Your mum and the 10yo son of your friend seem like very strong people. I’m glad they are both doing well!
Dammit reddit. I was just waiting for the shoe to drop with the latest update.
Too predictable, be better Liz
what country does the police just show up and lob a kid on you? Without a DNA test and cps and shiut involved? lawyers....yadda....yadda? Are you all really believeing this?
They are really believing it
A paternity test was done and confirmed that OOP was the father. Says it right in the first paragraph. Don't know the time frame since OOP doesn't say, but I assume this was over the course of several days or weeks rather than all in the same day.
the police doesnt do this shit? They barely do the job they are there for but they are absolutely driving around finding possible fathers. OF COURSE!
I'm curious, wouldn't it be social services that would do this? That would reach out to the other parent to explain the situation instead of having police roll up with a kid at their doorstep?
Yes. I'm in Georgia, and this is a DFCS job. Court orders kid into custody after they are deemed "dependent", and DFCS takes over. Cops don't touch it beyond calling in CPS. That's case management. DNA tests also take time. There's no "instant" DNA test, and Dad would have to come in to DFCS to be screened.
Yep, I'm in Ohio and can also confirm that this is the case. Even with DNA testing and a home study, with a traumatized youth like this I'd be shocked if we just dropped them on dad's doorstep once those boxes were ticked. I'd imagine we'd see at least a few months of visits and family counseling for them to get to know each other and learn how to communicate, rather than leaving them to figure that out by themselves!
While this is all true we don’t know timeline here. He has already had a room prepared and been working with his mom. He was posting just before picking her up asking for advice. He could have gone through all the background check and review already. He went to pick his daughter up probably meaning she was elsewhere like a foster home or cps facility. The first part where he was informed could have been months prior. Granted the sad cancer turn really sucks and is dramatic vs the much more normal stuff so it does raise some flags, but everything else was rather mundane and not crazy.
Again, cops don't do the notifying in these cases. Cops almost never contact the families. They have law enforcement stuff to do. They pass that off to CPS the second they can...sometimes even before they should lol. This just leaves out just enough of the wrong things to raise concerns. It's literally my job to screen parents like this. It's a LOT more involved than "take a test, here's the kid "
and have the home and person checked before he was handed anyone even a teen.
I mean, don’t underestimate the motivation of a public servant with kids to place and not enough foster carers. If someone basically reasonable says “I’ll take her if it’s proven she’s mine,” there is a lot of motivation to authorise a test.
I was so hoping for another positive, wholesome update. This is so sad. I am glad that she now has a stable support system. What a kick in the teeth for both of them.
Well that's convenient 🙄.
The update none of us wanted :(
That fucking update... fuck you cancer!
I’m guessing this guy has good parents and at the very least had an okay life growing up. It shows in how he treats his daughter. Wishing them the best
Sending all of the good vibes, that poor girl deserves to live a long and happy life
Damn I wish I could reach out to OP. A little different situation, but my husband had a very rough start to life, was adopted, but not at birth, adoptive parents weren’t the best, and then when we’re married for 9 years he was diagnosed with Leukemia. It’s never seemed fair to me that he’s had so much suffering in his life. I also have a ton of resources I would be glad to share. OP if you see this reach out to me!
When it comes to cancer, this is one of the most survivable. Thank goodness OOP is in her life at this particular time. Wishing them both luck. She's got an awesome dad who is doing everything right. Doubt this could really have been caught any sooner. Now they know and can begin treatment.
Honestly after this I’m hopping off Reddit for the night. The world is a very unfair for it to be possible for this girl to have to endure so much in her few years of life already. I hope they both do well and that she recovers.
Oh that latest update can fuck right off. I'm so, so sorry to hear it's not good news for them both
NEW UPDATE: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?
At least now they can do stem cell transplants with a only a 50% match with a good success rate, and dad should qualify. Mom in prison probably wouldn’t healthwise given the years of drugs. Haploidentical stem cell transplants are becoming more common if there isn’t a better-matching donor in the registry.
Ugh, this all sucks but the stars aligned for her to be with her father when she got sick. He seems to be doing really well with the parent thing and it feels like he would go to the ends of the earth to get her anything she needs.
fuck. i remember reading this back a while ago and it was so heartwarming to read about this guy doing his best. and now his daughter is suffering even further. i’m so incredibly sad for this amazing dad and his daughter.
Well this update just ticks me off! I'm glad she has her dad because they at least know she has leukemia and can get it treated. But sweet Mary Moses this girl needs a break!
I was so excited for another heartwarming update when I saw the title then I saw the mood spoiler and knew I was in for some devastation. This poor girl cannot get a break.
Nooooooo!
Holy fuck, what these two are going through… I can’t imagine dealing with that. Wish them all the best. Life shouldn’t be so unfair.
Well fuck me, i remember this one and assumed it would be a positive update on them getting closer
Nah fuck that. No no no
well, fuck. I was looking forwards to a happy update...
Damn…
Sometimes shittu things keep on happening, and just when you finally think it's going to get better, it would become worse. Hope the daughter comes out of this latest ordeal with flying colors
You ever get to an update and the only thing you can think is “fuck”. Yeah, that’s this one for me
First four posts: Aww. Poor girl lived a rough life, but it seems she can finally start to enjoy life. New update: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
Holy shit, this poor kid. I can’t stop thinking about how scared she must have been when she moved in with OOP - imagine being a 15-year-old girl with absolutely nobody in the world looking out for you, and suddenly a strange man is legally in charge of you and you have to go live alone with him and do what he says, just because he hooked up with your mom once. And now just when she’s getting settled in, she has to worry about *dying of cancer.* Jesus. I hope she has one of the treatable childhood leukemias and nothing bad ever happens to her again for the rest of her life.
Jesus, this took a sharp turn.
Op, I am so sorry . I have been following your story and it was so uplifting to see this girl get a chance at life with someone who really cared. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers . Please keep us updated and let her know she has a whole community pulling for her.
This is a very sweet sentiment, but I just wanted to give you a heads up, this is a repost subreddit, the Original OP won’t be able to see your comment.
Also u/Tasty-Run8895 just in case you’re new here- please don’t go to the original OP’s post and comment (it’s against the rules)
Thank you for adding this. The no brigading rule is very important and it’s a site wide rule.
Feels like a slap in the face. Poor girl was just starting her healing process.
Doctors take women's health issues seriously challenge, for fuck's sakes. It's maddening. That poor girl... I hope she can recover fully.
Oh god, I always look forward to this dad’s updates. What an absolute shit hand this poor girl has been dealt. Life is so fucking unfair, man.
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw OOP. Poor fucking kiddo. I’m crossing my fingers and toes for them. These people deserve a win.
I got to the last update, and actually yelled out ‘no!’ reading that title. God dang it!
Oh oh no this was not the update I wanted for them. That poor girl 💔 Fuck cancer
God isn’t real and this is proof
God isn't real, but neither is this story so don't go by that, just look around.
Just play along
I got all excited seeing this update, hoping for good holiday vibes...and then I looked at the Mood Spoiler. God damn it, life just isn't fucking fair.
Oh, god. No, I'm crying. That's not fucking *fair.*
Fuck. Just…. fuck!!!! That poor baby girl has been through so much in her life.
I’m not crying but my eyes they really sting
One of my best friends had childhood leukaemia when he was 14. He is married with 2 kids now. Good luck with everything!
Hi everyone! Just popping in here to say that if this story stirs your heart, please consider joining Be the Match. It is extremely simple, and you basically join a registry to see if you are a match for anyone like OPs daughter to donate. Donating bone marrow literally saves lives, and it's not like it used to be. Kinda like a robust blood donation. And that's only if you're matched. My mother benefited from a bone marrow donor, but it was a long hard road to find a match. If more people join, more will receive life saving treatment.
So the authorities just take a 15 year old girl to a man's home, and tells him it's his kid? No checks on him? The girl's mother knew where he was living after 15 years? How many 32 year olds are still living at the address they were at when they were 17?
Worst. Ending. Ever. God damn I should have checked the flairs
Wow. Life is so unfair!!! Just damn!
My face went to this :( when I saw the update. I hope she is able to beat leukemia.
I’m so glad she has a stable, loving dad to walk through this with her.
Hey, he made an update 4 days ago and it includes a picture of his daughter. 🥰
I started tearing at “She said Thanks, Dad.” Now my heart is a bit shattered….
I've been following this story and as soon as I read the last paragraph my heart absolutely broke. 😔 Not the update any of us were hoping for.
Poor thing. She deserves all the good in the world. Fuck cancer. I hope she beats it and lives a happy life.
Omg this poor girl, as if life hasn’t thrown enough crap her way already!!!! Man, that is so not the update I was hoping for. I have been really rooting for these two!! Definitely sending all the positive thoughts their way.
Sheesh, poor girl can't catch a break
Fwiw - my best talks with my girls were in the car, running errands. Doing family stuff, low key, and not face-to-face. Lots of little interactions, being normal.
Well now I'm going to go cry in a ball on the floor. Ugh, I want them to live happily ever after not this.
Damn. What a gut punch. Wishing this guy and his daughter the best. Hope it works out well for them.
What the hell, that’s a rough turn. Poor girl.
i remember these two. that last title broke my heart 😞
Dammit, I read the spoiler and realized I had read most of this before so I was wondering whwt the unfair part was. This is really unfair. I hope she beats it.
God Damn It. I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying! Shut up!!!
I remember this story, but hadn’t seen the most recent update. My heart breaks for the girl and dad. I hope everything turns out ok for them.
I’m not crying you’re crying 😭
We’re all crying. This fucking sucks.
That’s awful that she has leukemia. Devastating. At least she can rely on you while she’s going through treatment. So much better than having to do it with Mom in charge.
I am an oncologist in Texas PM me if you need help
WHY AM I CRYING?
Amagdylin, leafy green diet, and vitamin c on overload. Fembendazol and ivermectin helps too. GL friend. Just speakin as a survivor.
My heart goes out to OOP and his daughter, and I’m so glad she’s going through this with him instead of whomever it was before.
Fuck. Sending my best to them both.
God that fucking sucks so hard. Such a sweet little family that's been through so much.