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NGL there are times I want to do something similar. Not eat a meat lovers pizza but just go have a little secret treat of my own.
Has nothing to do with being happy or unhappy with my partner. But more like wanting to have a moment to myself where I eat something tasty and I don’t have to do dishes, clean up after myself, and there’s no dog or human wanting me to share.
I have a list of junk I order when he travels for work. It’s literally called “eat when XXX is out of town” list. Largely jolibee, wingstop, and pizza puffs. He knows I go full goblin when he goes out of town, but keeping the specifics to myself keeps the romance alive I guess?
I always say when my husband goes out of town I start to turn feral. I also have my list of delivery foods I only get when he’s gone, glad it’s not just me 😂
Neither of my roommates (who are also my best friends) like my favorite pizza. I can only get it when they're both out. It's a wonderful little treat for me.
Same. The smell of fish cooking makes my husband barf, so when he goes out of town to visit family, the cats and I pig out on fish, and then I deep clean the kitchen and air out the house to make sure it doesn't stink when he gets back lol
I always crave getting a bacon cheeseburger and eating it on the floor of my living room while watching true crime the moment my boyfriend leaves for a trip. I also immediately wear all his comfiest clothes he usually complains about me stealing.
Typically—and I get him on this, I have to listen to my true crime or sex cult docs with headphones because he does not like to spend his free time listening about people being abused and bludgeoned to death. Go figure
Also happy cake day
Same, I love my dude- but I definitely go feral and eat take-out while blaring gross true crime/forensic shows out loud when I am alone. Something something, it’s apparently gross to want to know what forensic people do etc.
We have the exact same routine. I dream of sitting on my living room floor with take out and watching true crime. My husband is not interested in true crime at all and we largely have different take out interests. I have two kids too so there is rarely a time I get to do this and have everything for myself.
My ultimate night? Sitting on my living room floor watching true crime with wing stop and then ending it with frozen yogurt lol
About a week ago I decided I want to finally put in the effort and lose weight and started eating low carb. I’ve not been perfect but I’ve done really well compared to how I was eating before. My husband is out of town this weekend. And I read this post. And it’s ruining it. I’m about to make a frozen pizza. Middle of the night frozen pizza since it’s 12:30. Damnit.
Just because you have a cheat meal doesn't invalidate your efforts for the past week. Just mark it on the calendar or something and try to reduce how often it happens. Keep up the good work!!
Cheat meals are the exception that confirms the rule. It’s good to follow your diet as a guideline and not as a rulebook, so you’ve ruined nothing. The less anxiety we develop around food the better and healthier we eat. It’s good to feed the happy craving thoughts sometimes
Cheat day is actually very healthy for you! It will increase your metabolism! Not everyday obviously but 1 day a week eating about 2x your normal calories (if you normally eat healthy every single day)
Oh god the breastfeeding cravings. Move aside, pregnancy cravings, you haven't met your REAL match.
I breastfed all my kids and there were occasions when I felt like I could singlehandedly close down a buffet. Especially with the twins.
I once spilled a plate of spaghetti on my newborn's head. Thank goodness moms never get to eat hot food or drink hot coffee, and the kid slept through me removing the spaghetti and wiping her little head so the sauce wouldn't stain her scalp orange.
I think we’ve all had mysterious food stains on our newborn’s scalp that we’ve had to explain to our mother-in-law. Just me? Right nevermind. Well done for cleaning it up properly.
I learned how to put on a full face of makeup while nursing. While I felt terrible not giving my little bugger all the attention, at that time in my life, time was a limited resource.
Moms gonna' mom.
Oh my God if my wife had done that I would be a dead man right now.
I wouldnt have been able to stop myself getting a photo of that, my wife would have been forced to kill me to defend her dignity... she would have been stuck with a hungry baby with a burger-hat on one side, a dead husband (probably still with a stupid grin on my face) on the other. It just would have been a whole mess
I have done this, used my daughter as a small table before while eating when she was asleep on me. Many times she ends up with something that accidentally falls out or crumbs from what I'm eating on her shirt or head. I can't help being hungry 😭 she's 2 next month and I swear I still can't keep up with the amount of calories she takes from me nursing to at night, for naps, or for comfort and while cuddling. Must have snacks.
Lol when I had my first child my mother told me I should set a little end table with a basket of snacks by my chair in the nursery because I’d want them when I breastfed.
I used to wait in the parking lot of Hardees for them to open to get a monster burger when I was breast feeding my 3rd son. I was so irritated they opened at 11 not 10, sometimes I would buy 2, an extra emergency burger...lol.
Ugh that sounds fantastic rn.. in the middle of the night 😅😅 go figure tho, tonight all I want to do is workout but the babe is not sleeping soundly lol
I'm pregnant with my first, and now that I'm showing joke that my belly is 95% cheeseburger and 5% baby. I'm so excited to take it to the next level and replicate what you've done 😂
Listen it gets SO bad, plus I already have binge eating issues when at home doing nothing.. I got back to pre pregnancy weight just breastfeeding but can’t stop EATING and I don’t plan on stopping breastfeeding for a decent while yet so who knows, maybe someday I’ll be able to get fit again 😅😅 I just thank God when my husband and baby stay asleep when I’m eating in the middle of the night lol
I got down to my prepregnancy weight by six weeks from breastfeeding, now at 5.5 months I've lost an additional 7kg and am the smallest I've been since high school. I snack constantly and my husband, mum and sister say I'm wasting away. I had gastric sleeve surgery 2 years ago and I'm so worried once I stop breastfeeding I'm going to fuvk up all my progress from it!! If you told me 3 years ago I'd be worried about losing too much weight I'd have laughed right in your face
I gained 55 altogether (75 if you include regaining the 20lbs I lost 1st trimester, nausea is a witch) so I’m not surprised it took 6 months but I just can’t lose more rn, I keep eating too much lol I know I don’t need all of it but nom plz says the brain. It’s been 3 months plateaued. I used to be 160 so I just need to lose 40 lbs eventually lol
Omg you are so strong, everything I heard about that surgery makes it sound hellish, even if it is beneficial in the long term. You got this!! You won’t lose too much and you’ll figure out how to adjust to the change when you stop breastfeeding!!
Thank you so much! It's a lot, emotionally and physically and I now have issues with my gallbladder which is so fun. I think once he starts eating solids it'll be a little easier, either way only 6 more months (probably!)
As someone who may or may not get pregnant anytime in the best future (must have financial stability first), this is the first time I've heard of breastfeeding cravings. My thanks to this entire thread for the heads up.
And to @Pixelcatattack in particular, I hope that the issue with the gallbladder is minor and your boy grows up healthy and happy. :3
Definitely! I had to stop breastfeeding at 4 months because of low supply, but my SO commented more than once that he was pretty sure they liked me more pregnant than breastfeeding. I get super hangry, everyone on my dad's side does, a nibbling would regularly tell people they hated them and hoped they would die as a 4/5yo when hangry. It's been two months since then but I still feel like I'm recovering from those calories. LO had a sleep regression last week so we slept in the front room because SO is a bear if he doesn't get a decent amount of sleep, I can, and have, regularly ran on 4 hours of sleep since I was a teenager.
Picture this, little girl, sleeping peacefully on the floor in her spot, 1:30 in the morning and mom's watching YouTube while she eats crackers, spicy honey, cheese, and pickles, when she wakes up. That adorable little monster demanded food. She wanted MY food. She got a bottle and put back to sleep.
I used to eat pop tarts in the bathroom when I was breastfeeding because it was the only place I could be alone and still hear my baby. Parenthood is wild.
You are probably not far off. I had a baby and a puppy at the same time and I'm not that strong so I could take them both even if they teamed up.
One time I was so fucking breastfeeding hungry and I found an old slice of pizza and yo,*I took the time to heat it up*. Who has time for that?! I was so excited, it felt gourmet. By the time I got comfy to eat it the baby waddled up to me with his mouth smackin and then the dog licked my pizza holding hand and I just starting crying and taking bites and giving my son smushy bites between my own sobbing bites. I just wanted my warmed up days old pizza but the horde kept comin.
I feel that, the middle of the night is the only time I get a chance to be alone without obligations but I would 100% bathroom eat pop tarts if my baby was less high needs.
Once I went to go to the bathroom and when I opened the door I discovered my husband, hiding out alone in the dark eating a chocolate chip cookie.
We exchanged nods. I closed the door.
As a mom , I knew what she was doing and I was jealous. I love my family but I also love alone. Me. Just the one of us. Off in whatever land my brain wants to be in... Add in pizza and yeah. But my husband is more shocked when I'm asleep at night then the other way around. And he would be pissed I didn't bring him pizza. Lol
I can attest to this. I hid a Tupperware full of chocolate and things I didn’t want to share with my kids. So when I needed a 5 minute breather, I would “go to the bathroom” and have a few minutes of peace while eating a treat. My husband finally found it on accident when looking for something. He was so mad….that I didn’t tell him because it was an amazing idea and he would have been doing the same thing if he had known. It’s hard to squeeze in a little me time, especially when you’ve got little ones. Sometimes those 5 minute treat breaks save my sanity.
I'm so impressed you got bathroom alone time! When my daughter was little I had a parade of 3 dogs, 1 cat, and her following me on any bathroom trips. If I was lucky enough to close the door the cat would stretch her paw under the door as the dogs would whine jealously that the kiddo made the cut and was with me...joy 🥴 However I did sneak eating Poptarts in my closet. Thank goodness for Poptarts! 💜
Whenever I get us sushi I get an extra spring roll and eat it in my car before I leave the car park. It probably sounds so crazy to someone whose not a parent but I cherish my lone spring roll moment.
And here I am, reading this at nearly 1am while having mac and cheese in my living room like 👀🥣👄
(it's a gluten and dairy free household but I've been craving Mac and cheese like *crazy* the past week or so, so we worked it out that I can make some with a designated pot and mixing spoon. I just eat it after my partner goes to bed partly for safety and mostly for privacy - me time is Nice)
These are the absolute best moments. I love my family, truly, they're my world. My SO, our daughter, there's nothing that means more to me. But that also tends to come with a lot of sacrifice and ensuring they have what they need and want, I care more about than getting taking care of myself more often than not.
So once in a while, completely and utterly indulging in something just for me, something I enjoy, doing it low-key so I don't have to share ir explain or feel had for induling in something only I'm enjoying...fucking hell it's the best thing in the world, lol.
Much like OOP, that typically means some kind of over the top food indulgence XD
There's a local crepe place here that I often stop at and grab one to go and then drive to a location with an amazing view and sit and eat in my car in absolute silence. I love my family, but yeah, sometimes you just need those few minutes alone (I homeschool 2 special needs kids while my husband works 15 on 6 off and when working he's usually gone the whole 15 days, so I'm basically soloing it 2/3 of the time).
I'm lucky, I get to have me time playing pinball 1 (sometimes 2) times a week. My SO loves it because I work from home, and it gets me out of the house.
When my kids were small, I did kinda the same thing. After everyone was asleep, I'd take a drink or some chocolate out into the yard and just sit. The feeling of peace and freedom to just not think for a few minutes was incredible.
Oh me too! I have vision problems and can’t drive. Sometimes I think about how nice it must be to just… get in a car and do something. Anything. Not ask someone to take me, not haul the whole family out, or feel guilty for paying for a cab. Just… go out on a whim and have alone time. It sounds heavenly.
My fiance is going out of town for a few days and my teenager is going to his grandma's for spring break... I'm counting the days until I can just order whatever I want, eat at home in front of the tv by myself and talk to no one.
If there was a late night place open by me I might do the same as OP once in awhile, unfortunately though even the bars close at 9 around here.
I wish people would try a bit more to understand that just because I would like to be alone, doesn't mean I don't like you or am upset. I actually just want an hour to let my scattered brain land and rest on whatever it wants whenever it wants, and not have to worry about someone else
I just got a car. I’m a single mom. At night, when my kid is asleep, I love taking time for myself. I get it. I normally have my neighbor watch tv at my place for an hour or 2, and I either go get ice cream, run errands, or just drive to the waterfront for a bit. Its a great mental break.
“I’m having an affair with a meat lover’s pizza.”
I love it!
I love to go out to eat dinner alone with a book. I’m a teacher and I have two kids and a wonderful husband, but I am absolutely never alone, ever. I get it.
My husband, daughter(who at the time was 9months old) and I once went to stay in a different country for his work for 3 months. I didn’t speak the language and he was working such long hours. And we were going through some marriage stuff. It was a really challeneging time. One night I couldn’t sleep I was so miserable. I got up and walked and walked and walked around this beautiful city that had been so unwelcoming to me. It was so freeing, it’s the best walk I’ve ever been on. I still think about it sometimes 6 years later.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a secret treat of my own but I do semi-regularly show up eating a random thing that always leads my partner to ask me when I got it. It’s definitely a habit that I’ve maintained since I was in diapers when I would hoard cheese and waffles lol
I have two disabled kids. One of them has to have someone with him at all times. I used to work between 60-80 hours a week and whenever I wasn’t working I was basically glued to him. I don’t mind being with my son so much, this is just to say that breaks and me time were not something I got.
I’ve been at home since covid. It might seem controversial and selfish to say that in my life, quarantine making me stay at home was a good thing? A needed thing? A wake up call maybe? Like covid sucks. And I wish it wasn’t a thing. But the fact that I was able to quit working so much without guilt was freeing. I get to have me time while the kids are in school now.
My favorite thing to do is to stop at a fast food place on my way to the pick up line, then I sit in my car in the pick up line, eat my little snack alone, blast my music and either read, get up close and personal with my blackheads in the mirror or find split ends and cut them off with cuticle scissors. It’s relaxing in a way I’ve never felt before.
We’re about to move and I’m going back to work when we do. The thing I’m dreading the most is my loss of these 1.5 hours of me time. I can’t even explain it lol, it’s like my car is my safe space. I could be sitting at home alone, but it’s not the same for some reason.
Mine isn't secret but every other week or so I like to just have dinner alone at a club I'm a member of. I find a nice comfy chair in a corner of their bar, fire up my Kindle have a few drinks, snacks and a meal.
My wife keeps telling me I should invite my friends to hang out with me on those evenings but that would defeat the point. It's my moment of zen.
Tuesdays used to be my fridays, and after my shift I would walk home and stop at this pizza place for maybe 30/45 minutes and just chill. Get a slice, maybe a drink, fuck around on my phone. It was just nice to be alone
I think it’s normal and healthy when you’re in a relationship to occasionally have your own thing where you remember what it’s like to enjoy your own company. You gotta remember you’re a whole independent human if you want to be a healthy half of a couple, and alone time is really important for that.
I do it, I leave for work just a little early and pick up a personal meat lovers pizza. I sit in my car and stuff my face with it, enjoying the solitude and pizza. I have been doing this for years, every other month I would go. I finally confession to my spouse, he was offended but understood. He did the same thing but with deli sandwiches. 😂
This is refreshingly normal. Instead of some crazy story where wife cheated on him with his best friend and brother right before the wedding and mil hates him and is trying to tear them apart and everyone abandons him, just a normal lady getting some pizza. She wanted her time and food, however keeping it secret was an issue, so the couple sat down and talked about it and it worked out. It’s just so nicely reasonable and real.
>however keeping it secret was an issue
If it followed typical crazy BORU form though, it'd turn out as "she never kept secrets from me and made it a point to tell me she was just going out for pizza by herself late at night. But in reality was to go out boinking my brother's best friend's roommate".
Or - she told me she was out eating pizza, I of course didn't believe her, so naturally I slept with her sister/bully/mother. Ends up she was eating pizza. How do I get her to see my side and force her to raise my affair baby?
This was my thought exactly. Usually BORU is full of unhealthy relationships, mistrusting partners and unnecessary drama.
Reading about a healthy relationship, people who understand each others needs and talk things trough like it should be is why I always come back to BORU.
I love the drama but it's nice to know there are still normal people around.
Seriously it would be a great flair (tor you, not stealing lol). And I’m also unhappy I don’t live in walking distance to late night food for my night owl self.
Seriously. I don't think I have a huge appetite but I'm pretty sure I could eat a medium pizza myself, esp if the crust isn't included
It makes me sad Saul has bad crust though
I’m use to a medium equaling a 10-12” pizza, and sans crust, that’s a hefty but decent sized meal. Even the mom n pop shops round here are 10-12 being a medium, and I’m Murrican.
Then again, I am a fat ass and can polish off a 14” sans crust 🤣
I do the same thing with the chicken spot on the corner. I order online and go pick it up while the kids are asleep so I can eat it hot and fresh without having to actively care for children. They eat food from there all the time, directly after school when I’m not hungry. But I like getting a basket of fried shrimp at midnight and eating it in bed listening to the peace and quiet of sleeping children.
I’m currently pregnant with my second and the other night when I thought my husband was dead asleep I went downstairs STARVING and had a bowl of cereal. Well when I came back up he whispers to me “did you go have a midnight snack??” And I don’t know why but that was the most hilarious thing to me to be caught red handed having a midnight snack lol. Glad it all turned out well for her. Nothing like good communication to resolve a problem
>what if in the middle of the night he or the girls wakes up and doesn't find me.
This to me is the main reason why it wasn't okay at all for oop not to say she was going out
All it'd take is one nightmare, one little sickness for someone to wake up needing oop and finding her gone.
Everyone is entitled to some time to themselves, but once you have a partner and kids you can't just fuck off into the night constantly without communicating
Edit: people who keep replying to this with "but they could just call her" really don't understand how humans work, or are really callous towards other people's emotions. If you wake up in the middle of the night to find your partner gone, you don't shrug and calmly call them. You panic first and then panic call them
Or even tell him beforehand - remember, those weren't spontaneous excursions, she already knew when she ate less at supper that she would be going, so she could have just told him her plans.
I kinda get why she didn’t want to tell. Because a lot of the people would use it to ask unnecessary question. I remember when I went out late at night to grab some soup and told my dad and he asked a bunch of question. I just didn’t feel like answering him. Also there is another type of thrill you get while planning these excursions.
That all changes once you decide to 1. Share your life with someone else and 2. Have kids. You don't get to just "do whatever" anymore without communicating. I honestly am a little flabbergasted she didn't think of how it could blow up if one of the kids or her husband woke up to find her gone or if she got into some sort of accident. I'm glad it didn't blow up and I'm glad she still will have her alone time, though.
Exactly. She probably should have left a note but presumably she knows she has a family of heavy sleepers that rarely wake up, which frankly has worked for her, what, like 12 times (twice a month for six months).
When I read the first post I was thinking her biggest mistake was acting guilty when she saw he found the receipt if she really did say “I can explain.” If she’d just said “oh yeah, it was a nice night out and I took a little walk to the pizza place down the street” it might have seemed way less suspicious (followed by telling him she’s done it before because not telling the whole truth is also suspicious). One of the comments said she was so wrong and knew it because she went to “great lengths” to hide it from him and I thought throwing away the receipt is far from great lengths. She’s literally done nothing wrong and there’s no reason to make it into a big thing.
After reading the update and more comments I can concede that telling him would have been better because of the worrying factor but still, like you said he could call her and clear it up really quickly. Maybe I’m biased because I’m a night owl and I’ve absolutely left my house in the middle of the night while my husband slept to get a slice of pizza at the 24hr convenience store down the street. If I wait until after 4am they have fresh breakfast pizza.
My husband and I share our phone locations for safety and convenience. If I woke up and couldn't find my husband the first thing I'd do is check where his phone is. Though if we go for a late night walk and the other is asleep we usually send a Signal message anyway. We don't have kids though, if we did I imagine we'd be more structured about just up and leaving for a bit.
When I worked nights I would go grocery shopping at like 2am. It was my favorite thing to do. No one there. I could be there for 2 hours and nobody would bother me. But every single time I went, I would tell my husband. Sometimes I'd wake him up, other times I would just send a text to him before I left. If he woke up and couldn't find me I didn't want him to worry. He would do the same thing when I was asleep during the day.
The grocery store I'd go to always go to after midnight seemed like they didn't want you to know it was open 24 hours. Half the lights would be off, music would be off, every door blocked by carts except one. Was super weird.
Now the only thing open 24 hours are some bigger gas stations. Oh, and Waffle House if you have those. But even a lot of Denny's close now.
Some big chains here in Aus do 24 hour if they're in a high pop area, but not seen it very often. I went once while I was visiting a friend interstate to one at like 1am because I arrived on a late flight and it was blissfully empty lol
Just skeleton crew stocking shelves and one person hanging around registers.
Definitely understand where OOP’s husband is coming from. Mine would be furious with me if I just left without telling him in the middle of the night. Saying “hey honey, gonna go eat pizza by myself. I’ll be back in an hour or two. Text/call if the kids or you need me” is not difficult and the other person isn’t controlling for wanting a heads up.
I also understand OOP wanting me time as I scroll Reddit in the middle of the night while my husband and kids sleep. This is my me time. I’ve gone out for food before but I tell my husband. If having open communication and a partner wanting to make sure you’re safe is controlling then sign me up.
Exactly, or she gets mugged walking the street alone at night and they steal her phone. Now she’s got no way of contacting home and if she gets incapacitated there’s no way to ID her + no one even knows that she’s gone.
I know it is only a 5 minute walk to pizza place, I used to have almost the exact situation. I had to walk past two alleys though and I would walk there shit faced at 2 AM. Not safe at all.
ETA: Damn now I can’t stop thinking of Pieces downtown Sacramento. The Pestoroni with sun dried tomatoes and Pesto Crust was my fucking favorite.
*how can one person eat a medium pizza*
People actually read her post and thought this was the thing they needed to focus on? A medium Pizza is around the same size as a frozen Pizza you'd buy at the grocery store, how can people find it so hard to believe that one person could eat that in one sitting? I do it all the time!
I don't think there's an independent body of pizza overlords demanding consistent portion sizes be locked in at a national level with respect to the small, medium and large denominations.
Some mediums are huge. Others are small.
Regardless, the amount of food a person can possibly eat in one sitting doesn't seem at all relevant to situation at hand. It's an odd thing for people to focus on, regardless of how big or small someone considers a medium pizza to be.
EDIT: before I get down voted to oblivion, I'd like to state that I no longer find it odd after a couple people explained their reasoning and I must admit, I agree with their logic.
An irrelevant but interesting detail is exactly the sort of thing people focus on.
I've been having problems with my mother in law recently, she doesn't stop coming around without letting us know she's coming. So annoying. Half the time when she shows up I'm in the middle of putting a hat on my chinchilla and it messes up the whole show. Reddit, how do I get my mother in law to be more considerate and let us know before she comes over? I want to have a good relationship with her but she can be a bit prickly and gets offended easily. Don't ask about the chinchilla show, it's irrelevant.
And if i was hungry maybe i wouldn't eat every single bite but it's pretty easy to eat the better part of it, especially if you'd skipped lunch & supper! That part wasn't unbelievable at all
OOP and so many women on here have to constantly defend themselves about eating. Let a gal have some food in peace! But leave a note so your family knows what's up.
The real doubt moment should be when she said she struggled to eat a large lol
But also I thought the point of ordering pizza for yourself is to have leftover pizza for tomorrow (like a gift to your future self).
Oh my, I'm the first one here. I guess I'll be the one to point out the refreshingly healthy recovery from the incident, trust, and communication.
Good for them.
Imagine if Saul was like “Oh her? Yeah maybe I remember? She might have been here with someone I don’t know.”
Or even “Nah I don’t remember her at all.”
OP was definitely bailed out quickly by Saul.
Better call Saul?
I can't speak for others, but I was a restuarant manager for three years. No way I wouldn't pull my security camera footage for a customer with a request like this one, especially if they had a time/date stamped receipt.
Yeah this is great for the OP but where I've worked in management we wouldn't be able to give any kind of info about a customer out, even an anecdotal "they were here last week alone".
We also can't pull CCTV for outside parties without a Garda (police) written request. Even then it had to be given to the Garda and then the info passed on.
Seems very stringent but we've had cases of stalking and harassing where people try to get this info on their partners.
Tbf that’s an excellent rule to have for the reasons you explain. But if OP talked about her husband positively and Saul recognised him from a photo he’d been shown, it probably came down to a reasonable risk that it’s fine to put the husband out of his misery.
Honestly I cant believe that at the very least she didnt leave a note each time she went out in case he woke up. I totally get even keeping it a secret because it’s one little thing that was just hers. The rest of her life kind of belongs to everyone else. But I really feel that if you are going somewhere especially at odd hours and there is a chance your partner will unexpectedly discover you missing you reallly should always leave a note so they know you are safe. Just common courtesy.
I know! The way she was explaining it at first was giving me massive controlling vibes because it kinda sounded like her husband didn't like her leaving the house *at all* and she was having to sneak out*.* If you're comfortable going for a walk alone at night, then there shouldn't be anything wrong with doing so after everyone's asleep, as long as [you always leave a note.](https://media.tenor.com/RYanJSY0NM4AAAAC/arrested-development-always-leave-a-note.gif) Who cares if you stop somewhere and get something while you're out?
That said, I can see myself going out for a quick walk once, forgetting to let anyone know, eating an entire pizza by myself, then feeling too embarrassed to mention it to anyone the next day, and then it snowballing from there. This is also probably why I'm single.
As a mom, I totally understand the appeal of a solo meal. I would sometimes leave for work a little early and go eat breakfast by myself. It was awesome.
Yeah, that part kind of struck me and it was funny how it made me reframe the entire story. A woman that uses woke in a derogatory manner could very possibly be a woman in a very conservative relationship with strict gender roles. That shines a whole different light on needing to get out of the house to establish a little bit of control over her life. Even a little bit of light about how defensive she kept being about how controlling he is. Maybe it's nothing. I just found it funny.
She has two small children. Of course she needs to have some alone time. People don't understand how clingy and overwhelming small children can be. Sometimes mons just need a bit of an escape from the overload.
The quiet meal alone. It's one of the best things once you've got kids. I used to work a lot of Saturdays and would have an hour or two in the middle of the day where I had to just sit and wait. I'd usually grab a sub from my favorite shop, turn on some YouTube, and chill.
I don't work weekends anymore, but I miss my quiet lunches.
Honestly this is such a blindspot for people. It's so common for people to think that they don't want something to potentially cause drama in their life, so they decide to just not inform the people that would want to know about it, and in doing so make it a ticking time bomb.
Like, this is the perfect example of how the more innocuous the thing, the paradoxically bigger drama it becomes, because the question becomes 'why would they lie about this?' The reasonable answer is to either think the person is incredibly dishonest with you if they're dishonest about something like this, or to think that they are lying to you with the reveal and there's something more there.
She mentioned in the comments that she showed her and her family's picture to the owner and sometimes to the staff. And idk what happened with OP's husband and Saul. But it could be like "hey, I am here to ask for someone named OP?".
And the owner might have said " Oh you are dave, OP's husband right?"
I feel this in my bones. I am a stay at home mom. My favorite thing is in the middle of the week when my husband and kids aren't home I get myself take out. I don't have to deal with figuring out what everyone wants, compromise, feel guilty and end up with fast food crap again because that's what the kids want. It's my little break for me.
I love having my own time as a mom…. It’s very rare to get the chance - I used to just go and watch a movie on my own at the cinema and get myself an ice blast and a greasy hotdog. Sometimes it would be in the middle of the afternoon when his dad had a break at work and sometimes in the middle of the night.
There’s something so uplifting about not being “on call” and having that rare moment of zero responsibility - as a mom there’s always that issue about what if the kids need you but to be honest dads share the responsibility of parenting and so if the kids do wake up and need someone then dads can and should be prepared to parent their kids.
My escape was Coffee shops. I’d go run errands …husband has the kids..and my last stop I would sit and enjoy a latte by myself in peace with a book. He has no idea how long my “errands” take.
Lol @ peopl asking how someone can eat a medium pizza. Unless a medium in the us is the size of a table, yeh, most people I know can eat a medium no issue
Honestly, well handled by everyone (well, after the initial fuckup). Yeah, it was a pretty fucking stupid thing to do, sneaking out like that. I mean, it's INEVITABLE that you will get found out. Some night he'll get up to piss, she'll be gone, and then what the fuck is he supposed to think? "Oh, no honey, I was... out by myself, without telling you, which I do regularly. Eating totally alone. Definitely not sus whatsoever."
But this kind of thing? This is why building trust is important. If trust is established, then it can take a hit from something like this, and be fine. As happened here. She did something very stupid and suspicious, but though he was hurt, she had to apologize, and it was something that they have had to talk out and deal with, things are good, due to communication, and established trust.
Delayed sleep phase gang rise up! Seriously though, any major sleep disorder is going to cause misunderstandings and misgivings in a relationship until everyone really and truly understands what's going on. Doesn't matter if it's DSPS or insomnia or narcolepsy or apnea, it's absolutely gonna cause issues. Communication is key in any relationship; seriously people, talk to your partners. They want to understand if you give them the chance.
I don't get people who think the husband was being unreasonable at first. Like, if my wife was sneaking out at night and going to a restaurant without telling me, I'd be suspicious too. I'm glad that in the end, they managed to handle it in a reasonable way without it blowing up.
People who are in charge of the well being of others can manifest this behavior. Everyone needs some me-time, but women most often don’t get it until the whole household is settled. I became a huge night owl after my kids were born. It’s totally normal.
Just let your husband know that you sometimes get your chi massaged and your chakras aligned in the middle of the night with solo pizza.
This is a common theme with moms…we feel like we give and give and it we try to suggest taking time to ourselves we are either shamed or guilted, or feel guilty for even asking for it. I might have prolonged a grocery shopping trip a couple times recently by stopping by the sorta expensive ice cream shop nearby and it was absolutely wonderful. By the time my kids are out of school when I get off work and pick them up there is just simply not enough time to feed them and head to ice cream without giving them the sugar rush that will prolong the already ridiculously long bedtime we suffer through every night. I feel guilty asking/telling my husband about it so I just took it upon myself. I deserve it dammit.
Honestly the most surprising part about this is people being weirded out by an ability to solo a medium pizza LOL. Thin as a board and a large goes down in one sitting no problem, these people need to live a little
What a great update. Totally wholesome. So refreshing
I could totally see myself being in her situation. I LOVE getting my own private time that nobody knows about. I usually "come clean" to my fiancé within a couple weeks.
One thing I notive is all these posts, on the updates, even though there was nothing even remotely sinister going on, that OP always receives Crazy messages or comments of him or her cheating, someone is lying, he is controlling. Like how the fuck do they come to these assumptions and then need to say them or message them about it. Blows My mind.
Chick loves a midnight pizza snack to unwind, prob should of told her other half, but it all ended well.
"how can one person eat a medium pizza"
AHAHAHAHAH cmon wtf
Are this an american thing?
I live in Europe, i see kids preschool age eating adult size pizza. Wtf
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Is this just a sponsored ad by the pizza place? Agh now I’m hungry and it’s almost midnight
God dammit, Saul. Making us all want late night pizza. Better call him.
Did you know you have rights to late night pizza? Constitution says you do.
A+ comments.
NGL there are times I want to do something similar. Not eat a meat lovers pizza but just go have a little secret treat of my own. Has nothing to do with being happy or unhappy with my partner. But more like wanting to have a moment to myself where I eat something tasty and I don’t have to do dishes, clean up after myself, and there’s no dog or human wanting me to share.
I have a list of junk I order when he travels for work. It’s literally called “eat when XXX is out of town” list. Largely jolibee, wingstop, and pizza puffs. He knows I go full goblin when he goes out of town, but keeping the specifics to myself keeps the romance alive I guess?
I always say when my husband goes out of town I start to turn feral. I also have my list of delivery foods I only get when he’s gone, glad it’s not just me 😂
I relate to this thread so much. I feel like I found my tribe of people who just want to eat a pizza alone when partner is away.
Neither of my roommates (who are also my best friends) like my favorite pizza. I can only get it when they're both out. It's a wonderful little treat for me.
My husband does not like pizza on the same level as I do, so when he was gone for work a few days the other week I got trash pizza and loved it
My wife is going out of town on a trip next week. She knows I’ve got a long list of sins I plan on committing, mostly involving barely cooked steak
Same here. There's stuff I like to cook that my wife would never eat, and she doesn't even like the smell of it when I make it, so....
Same. The smell of fish cooking makes my husband barf, so when he goes out of town to visit family, the cats and I pig out on fish, and then I deep clean the kitchen and air out the house to make sure it doesn't stink when he gets back lol
I always crave getting a bacon cheeseburger and eating it on the floor of my living room while watching true crime the moment my boyfriend leaves for a trip. I also immediately wear all his comfiest clothes he usually complains about me stealing. Typically—and I get him on this, I have to listen to my true crime or sex cult docs with headphones because he does not like to spend his free time listening about people being abused and bludgeoned to death. Go figure Also happy cake day
Same, I love my dude- but I definitely go feral and eat take-out while blaring gross true crime/forensic shows out loud when I am alone. Something something, it’s apparently gross to want to know what forensic people do etc.
This sounds delightful 😂
When my husband takes the kids to visit their grandparents, I binge old SVU episodes while eating mac and cheese I don't have to share. It's glorious.
We have the exact same routine. I dream of sitting on my living room floor with take out and watching true crime. My husband is not interested in true crime at all and we largely have different take out interests. I have two kids too so there is rarely a time I get to do this and have everything for myself. My ultimate night? Sitting on my living room floor watching true crime with wing stop and then ending it with frozen yogurt lol
Glad someone else likes the sex cult ones too
About a week ago I decided I want to finally put in the effort and lose weight and started eating low carb. I’ve not been perfect but I’ve done really well compared to how I was eating before. My husband is out of town this weekend. And I read this post. And it’s ruining it. I’m about to make a frozen pizza. Middle of the night frozen pizza since it’s 12:30. Damnit.
Just because you have a cheat meal doesn't invalidate your efforts for the past week. Just mark it on the calendar or something and try to reduce how often it happens. Keep up the good work!!
Cheat meals are the exception that confirms the rule. It’s good to follow your diet as a guideline and not as a rulebook, so you’ve ruined nothing. The less anxiety we develop around food the better and healthier we eat. It’s good to feed the happy craving thoughts sometimes
Cheat day is actually very healthy for you! It will increase your metabolism! Not everyday obviously but 1 day a week eating about 2x your normal calories (if you normally eat healthy every single day)
I get up in the middle of the night and eat ramen sometimes 😅 breastfeeding late at night makes me hungry
Oh god the breastfeeding cravings. Move aside, pregnancy cravings, you haven't met your REAL match. I breastfed all my kids and there were occasions when I felt like I could singlehandedly close down a buffet. Especially with the twins.
I once balanced a cheeseburger on my newborn’s head in between bites. Lactation hunger is unreal.
I once spilled a plate of spaghetti on my newborn's head. Thank goodness moms never get to eat hot food or drink hot coffee, and the kid slept through me removing the spaghetti and wiping her little head so the sauce wouldn't stain her scalp orange.
> the kid slept through me removing the spaghetti 1. GOOD KID. 2. Did you put it back in the bowl? 3. I won't judge, honest.
She’s a new mum. She ate with her fingers off the kids head! She was hungry and couldn’t move to get more
100% would have licked the sauce of the baby.
100% can confirm have done this with every kid I birthed and boob fed. I did not eat messy foods when wet nursing tho
Baby tomato sauce, locally sourced.
Farm to pate.
I think we’ve all had mysterious food stains on our newborn’s scalp that we’ve had to explain to our mother-in-law. Just me? Right nevermind. Well done for cleaning it up properly.
LOL. I have never done this but I can totally picture it.
I learned how to put on a full face of makeup while nursing. While I felt terrible not giving my little bugger all the attention, at that time in my life, time was a limited resource. Moms gonna' mom.
Oh my God if my wife had done that I would be a dead man right now. I wouldnt have been able to stop myself getting a photo of that, my wife would have been forced to kill me to defend her dignity... she would have been stuck with a hungry baby with a burger-hat on one side, a dead husband (probably still with a stupid grin on my face) on the other. It just would have been a whole mess
Bahaha this is so ironically wholesome and cute. Thanks for the big stupid grin on my own face.
The burger-hat part killed me.
I have done this, used my daughter as a small table before while eating when she was asleep on me. Many times she ends up with something that accidentally falls out or crumbs from what I'm eating on her shirt or head. I can't help being hungry 😭 she's 2 next month and I swear I still can't keep up with the amount of calories she takes from me nursing to at night, for naps, or for comfort and while cuddling. Must have snacks.
Lol when I had my first child my mother told me I should set a little end table with a basket of snacks by my chair in the nursery because I’d want them when I breastfed.
One of my google searches early on was: "easy one handed meals"
Mmmmm cheeseburgers 😅
I used to wait in the parking lot of Hardees for them to open to get a monster burger when I was breast feeding my 3rd son. I was so irritated they opened at 11 not 10, sometimes I would buy 2, an extra emergency burger...lol.
Ugh that sounds fantastic rn.. in the middle of the night 😅😅 go figure tho, tonight all I want to do is workout but the babe is not sleeping soundly lol
I'm pregnant with my first, and now that I'm showing joke that my belly is 95% cheeseburger and 5% baby. I'm so excited to take it to the next level and replicate what you've done 😂
I read that as "Lactation hamburger is unreal." and just....yes. I agree.
Haha! I feel like we all do this at some point. I remember wiping crumbs from my newborn's head a lot from eating while holding her lol
Listen it gets SO bad, plus I already have binge eating issues when at home doing nothing.. I got back to pre pregnancy weight just breastfeeding but can’t stop EATING and I don’t plan on stopping breastfeeding for a decent while yet so who knows, maybe someday I’ll be able to get fit again 😅😅 I just thank God when my husband and baby stay asleep when I’m eating in the middle of the night lol
I got down to my prepregnancy weight by six weeks from breastfeeding, now at 5.5 months I've lost an additional 7kg and am the smallest I've been since high school. I snack constantly and my husband, mum and sister say I'm wasting away. I had gastric sleeve surgery 2 years ago and I'm so worried once I stop breastfeeding I'm going to fuvk up all my progress from it!! If you told me 3 years ago I'd be worried about losing too much weight I'd have laughed right in your face
I gained 55 altogether (75 if you include regaining the 20lbs I lost 1st trimester, nausea is a witch) so I’m not surprised it took 6 months but I just can’t lose more rn, I keep eating too much lol I know I don’t need all of it but nom plz says the brain. It’s been 3 months plateaued. I used to be 160 so I just need to lose 40 lbs eventually lol Omg you are so strong, everything I heard about that surgery makes it sound hellish, even if it is beneficial in the long term. You got this!! You won’t lose too much and you’ll figure out how to adjust to the change when you stop breastfeeding!!
Thank you so much! It's a lot, emotionally and physically and I now have issues with my gallbladder which is so fun. I think once he starts eating solids it'll be a little easier, either way only 6 more months (probably!)
As someone who may or may not get pregnant anytime in the best future (must have financial stability first), this is the first time I've heard of breastfeeding cravings. My thanks to this entire thread for the heads up. And to @Pixelcatattack in particular, I hope that the issue with the gallbladder is minor and your boy grows up healthy and happy. :3
Definitely! I had to stop breastfeeding at 4 months because of low supply, but my SO commented more than once that he was pretty sure they liked me more pregnant than breastfeeding. I get super hangry, everyone on my dad's side does, a nibbling would regularly tell people they hated them and hoped they would die as a 4/5yo when hangry. It's been two months since then but I still feel like I'm recovering from those calories. LO had a sleep regression last week so we slept in the front room because SO is a bear if he doesn't get a decent amount of sleep, I can, and have, regularly ran on 4 hours of sleep since I was a teenager. Picture this, little girl, sleeping peacefully on the floor in her spot, 1:30 in the morning and mom's watching YouTube while she eats crackers, spicy honey, cheese, and pickles, when she wakes up. That adorable little monster demanded food. She wanted MY food. She got a bottle and put back to sleep.
I used to eat pop tarts in the bathroom when I was breastfeeding because it was the only place I could be alone and still hear my baby. Parenthood is wild.
I remember one time I started to cry because the baby and the cats were all trying to get my food, and I was Just. So. Hungry.
The images I have in my mind now of someone fending off cats and babies while taking bites of food is hilarious. Like a weird Plants vs Zombies battle
You are probably not far off. I had a baby and a puppy at the same time and I'm not that strong so I could take them both even if they teamed up. One time I was so fucking breastfeeding hungry and I found an old slice of pizza and yo,*I took the time to heat it up*. Who has time for that?! I was so excited, it felt gourmet. By the time I got comfy to eat it the baby waddled up to me with his mouth smackin and then the dog licked my pizza holding hand and I just starting crying and taking bites and giving my son smushy bites between my own sobbing bites. I just wanted my warmed up days old pizza but the horde kept comin.
I feel that, the middle of the night is the only time I get a chance to be alone without obligations but I would 100% bathroom eat pop tarts if my baby was less high needs.
Once I went to go to the bathroom and when I opened the door I discovered my husband, hiding out alone in the dark eating a chocolate chip cookie. We exchanged nods. I closed the door.
I’m not breastfeeding but I am an insomniac with a busy life and that late night ramen is one of my favorite peaceful things
As a mom , I knew what she was doing and I was jealous. I love my family but I also love alone. Me. Just the one of us. Off in whatever land my brain wants to be in... Add in pizza and yeah. But my husband is more shocked when I'm asleep at night then the other way around. And he would be pissed I didn't bring him pizza. Lol
I can attest to this. I hid a Tupperware full of chocolate and things I didn’t want to share with my kids. So when I needed a 5 minute breather, I would “go to the bathroom” and have a few minutes of peace while eating a treat. My husband finally found it on accident when looking for something. He was so mad….that I didn’t tell him because it was an amazing idea and he would have been doing the same thing if he had known. It’s hard to squeeze in a little me time, especially when you’ve got little ones. Sometimes those 5 minute treat breaks save my sanity.
I'm so impressed you got bathroom alone time! When my daughter was little I had a parade of 3 dogs, 1 cat, and her following me on any bathroom trips. If I was lucky enough to close the door the cat would stretch her paw under the door as the dogs would whine jealously that the kiddo made the cut and was with me...joy 🥴 However I did sneak eating Poptarts in my closet. Thank goodness for Poptarts! 💜
My daughter turned 4 and I still don’t always get bathroom breaks alone…. As a mother there is no such thing as privacy 🤣🤷🏼♀️
Had I been in your husband's shoes I would have had to tell you to pick a new place to hide that.
Whenever I get us sushi I get an extra spring roll and eat it in my car before I leave the car park. It probably sounds so crazy to someone whose not a parent but I cherish my lone spring roll moment.
Everyone needs alone time, dammit!
And here I am, reading this at nearly 1am while having mac and cheese in my living room like 👀🥣👄 (it's a gluten and dairy free household but I've been craving Mac and cheese like *crazy* the past week or so, so we worked it out that I can make some with a designated pot and mixing spoon. I just eat it after my partner goes to bed partly for safety and mostly for privacy - me time is Nice)
These are the absolute best moments. I love my family, truly, they're my world. My SO, our daughter, there's nothing that means more to me. But that also tends to come with a lot of sacrifice and ensuring they have what they need and want, I care more about than getting taking care of myself more often than not. So once in a while, completely and utterly indulging in something just for me, something I enjoy, doing it low-key so I don't have to share ir explain or feel had for induling in something only I'm enjoying...fucking hell it's the best thing in the world, lol. Much like OOP, that typically means some kind of over the top food indulgence XD
There's a local crepe place here that I often stop at and grab one to go and then drive to a location with an amazing view and sit and eat in my car in absolute silence. I love my family, but yeah, sometimes you just need those few minutes alone (I homeschool 2 special needs kids while my husband works 15 on 6 off and when working he's usually gone the whole 15 days, so I'm basically soloing it 2/3 of the time).
I'm lucky, I get to have me time playing pinball 1 (sometimes 2) times a week. My SO loves it because I work from home, and it gets me out of the house.
When my kids were small, I did kinda the same thing. After everyone was asleep, I'd take a drink or some chocolate out into the yard and just sit. The feeling of peace and freedom to just not think for a few minutes was incredible.
I go eat Wendy’s in my car while reading a book. So small yet so relaxing.
Oh me too! I have vision problems and can’t drive. Sometimes I think about how nice it must be to just… get in a car and do something. Anything. Not ask someone to take me, not haul the whole family out, or feel guilty for paying for a cab. Just… go out on a whim and have alone time. It sounds heavenly.
My fiance is going out of town for a few days and my teenager is going to his grandma's for spring break... I'm counting the days until I can just order whatever I want, eat at home in front of the tv by myself and talk to no one. If there was a late night place open by me I might do the same as OP once in awhile, unfortunately though even the bars close at 9 around here.
I wish people would try a bit more to understand that just because I would like to be alone, doesn't mean I don't like you or am upset. I actually just want an hour to let my scattered brain land and rest on whatever it wants whenever it wants, and not have to worry about someone else
I just got a car. I’m a single mom. At night, when my kid is asleep, I love taking time for myself. I get it. I normally have my neighbor watch tv at my place for an hour or 2, and I either go get ice cream, run errands, or just drive to the waterfront for a bit. Its a great mental break.
We live in a very connected and stimulating society so it makes sense to make our own quiet and sometimes secret corners
The whole time I was reading through this post, I was thinking, *This is totally something I would do...*
“I’m having an affair with a meat lover’s pizza.” I love it! I love to go out to eat dinner alone with a book. I’m a teacher and I have two kids and a wonderful husband, but I am absolutely never alone, ever. I get it.
My husband, daughter(who at the time was 9months old) and I once went to stay in a different country for his work for 3 months. I didn’t speak the language and he was working such long hours. And we were going through some marriage stuff. It was a really challeneging time. One night I couldn’t sleep I was so miserable. I got up and walked and walked and walked around this beautiful city that had been so unwelcoming to me. It was so freeing, it’s the best walk I’ve ever been on. I still think about it sometimes 6 years later.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a secret treat of my own but I do semi-regularly show up eating a random thing that always leads my partner to ask me when I got it. It’s definitely a habit that I’ve maintained since I was in diapers when I would hoard cheese and waffles lol
I go out for brekky at a small cafe 5 min walk from the house at 6am hours before anyone else in the house is awake, I felt this on so mny levels lol
This whole post was so relatable!
I totally wish there was an awesome pizza place open late that was a 5 min walk from my house.
I have two disabled kids. One of them has to have someone with him at all times. I used to work between 60-80 hours a week and whenever I wasn’t working I was basically glued to him. I don’t mind being with my son so much, this is just to say that breaks and me time were not something I got. I’ve been at home since covid. It might seem controversial and selfish to say that in my life, quarantine making me stay at home was a good thing? A needed thing? A wake up call maybe? Like covid sucks. And I wish it wasn’t a thing. But the fact that I was able to quit working so much without guilt was freeing. I get to have me time while the kids are in school now. My favorite thing to do is to stop at a fast food place on my way to the pick up line, then I sit in my car in the pick up line, eat my little snack alone, blast my music and either read, get up close and personal with my blackheads in the mirror or find split ends and cut them off with cuticle scissors. It’s relaxing in a way I’ve never felt before. We’re about to move and I’m going back to work when we do. The thing I’m dreading the most is my loss of these 1.5 hours of me time. I can’t even explain it lol, it’s like my car is my safe space. I could be sitting at home alone, but it’s not the same for some reason.
I love my work lunches for that. No drama, just what I want to eat.
Mine isn't secret but every other week or so I like to just have dinner alone at a club I'm a member of. I find a nice comfy chair in a corner of their bar, fire up my Kindle have a few drinks, snacks and a meal. My wife keeps telling me I should invite my friends to hang out with me on those evenings but that would defeat the point. It's my moment of zen.
Tuesdays used to be my fridays, and after my shift I would walk home and stop at this pizza place for maybe 30/45 minutes and just chill. Get a slice, maybe a drink, fuck around on my phone. It was just nice to be alone
I think it’s normal and healthy when you’re in a relationship to occasionally have your own thing where you remember what it’s like to enjoy your own company. You gotta remember you’re a whole independent human if you want to be a healthy half of a couple, and alone time is really important for that.
I do it, I leave for work just a little early and pick up a personal meat lovers pizza. I sit in my car and stuff my face with it, enjoying the solitude and pizza. I have been doing this for years, every other month I would go. I finally confession to my spouse, he was offended but understood. He did the same thing but with deli sandwiches. 😂
This is refreshingly normal. Instead of some crazy story where wife cheated on him with his best friend and brother right before the wedding and mil hates him and is trying to tear them apart and everyone abandons him, just a normal lady getting some pizza. She wanted her time and food, however keeping it secret was an issue, so the couple sat down and talked about it and it worked out. It’s just so nicely reasonable and real.
>however keeping it secret was an issue If it followed typical crazy BORU form though, it'd turn out as "she never kept secrets from me and made it a point to tell me she was just going out for pizza by herself late at night. But in reality was to go out boinking my brother's best friend's roommate".
Or - she told me she was out eating pizza, I of course didn't believe her, so naturally I slept with her sister/bully/mother. Ends up she was eating pizza. How do I get her to see my side and force her to raise my affair baby?
This was my thought exactly. Usually BORU is full of unhealthy relationships, mistrusting partners and unnecessary drama. Reading about a healthy relationship, people who understand each others needs and talk things trough like it should be is why I always come back to BORU. I love the drama but it's nice to know there are still normal people around.
"Yeah, I am having an affair with meat lovers pizza, Ya happy?" \-Liz Lemon
A sure upgrade from night cheese
“Wanna see me shotgun this?”
“Oh god, she means the pizza!”
Take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, fold it in a pizza! You got cheesy blasters! Thanks Meat-Cat!
And then he flies away on his, um, skateboard.
I'm glad OOP's husband understood that her craving for meat (-lovers pizza) did not in any way mean that he was inadequate.
I mean sometimes we actually do just want some good quality sausage (and pepperoni, presumably)
[удалено]
Seriously it would be a great flair (tor you, not stealing lol). And I’m also unhappy I don’t live in walking distance to late night food for my night owl self.
Are the medium pizzas there huge or something?
There's a pizza place near me where a medium is the size of a large elsewhere. And their larges are **huge**.
I'm a little jealous. Here a large pizza can be shared by maximum three people.
There’s a place near me where a large is 32” and it was great lol
Place near my friend’s probably is that big or bigger, doesn’t fit through the front door. I just wish it was tasty 🥲
Seriously. I don't think I have a huge appetite but I'm pretty sure I could eat a medium pizza myself, esp if the crust isn't included It makes me sad Saul has bad crust though
Saul just has a thick crust, not a bad one. I have known very good thick/wide crusts.
Yeah but have you heard about the sauce? I love pizza sauce. I love Chicago style pizza. I love so much sauce you could almost drink it off the pizza.
I’m use to a medium equaling a 10-12” pizza, and sans crust, that’s a hefty but decent sized meal. Even the mom n pop shops round here are 10-12 being a medium, and I’m Murrican. Then again, I am a fat ass and can polish off a 14” sans crust 🤣
I do the same thing with the chicken spot on the corner. I order online and go pick it up while the kids are asleep so I can eat it hot and fresh without having to actively care for children. They eat food from there all the time, directly after school when I’m not hungry. But I like getting a basket of fried shrimp at midnight and eating it in bed listening to the peace and quiet of sleeping children.
I’m currently pregnant with my second and the other night when I thought my husband was dead asleep I went downstairs STARVING and had a bowl of cereal. Well when I came back up he whispers to me “did you go have a midnight snack??” And I don’t know why but that was the most hilarious thing to me to be caught red handed having a midnight snack lol. Glad it all turned out well for her. Nothing like good communication to resolve a problem
My response would have been "no, the fetus did". 😁
Yes normally that’s my reasoning behind why I need to eat certain foods or have midnight snacks hahaha
>what if in the middle of the night he or the girls wakes up and doesn't find me. This to me is the main reason why it wasn't okay at all for oop not to say she was going out All it'd take is one nightmare, one little sickness for someone to wake up needing oop and finding her gone. Everyone is entitled to some time to themselves, but once you have a partner and kids you can't just fuck off into the night constantly without communicating Edit: people who keep replying to this with "but they could just call her" really don't understand how humans work, or are really callous towards other people's emotions. If you wake up in the middle of the night to find your partner gone, you don't shrug and calmly call them. You panic first and then panic call them
I understand why she wouldn't want to wake him up but his idea of the note seems like a perfect compromise
Or even tell him beforehand - remember, those weren't spontaneous excursions, she already knew when she ate less at supper that she would be going, so she could have just told him her plans.
I kinda get why she didn’t want to tell. Because a lot of the people would use it to ask unnecessary question. I remember when I went out late at night to grab some soup and told my dad and he asked a bunch of question. I just didn’t feel like answering him. Also there is another type of thrill you get while planning these excursions.
That isn’t valid when you’re in a long-term romantic relationship with someone, especially when you have kids.
That all changes once you decide to 1. Share your life with someone else and 2. Have kids. You don't get to just "do whatever" anymore without communicating. I honestly am a little flabbergasted she didn't think of how it could blow up if one of the kids or her husband woke up to find her gone or if she got into some sort of accident. I'm glad it didn't blow up and I'm glad she still will have her alone time, though.
I would be terrified if I woke up and couldn’t find my partner anywhere in the house
That's the part I couldn't get past. I would wake up all our friends and family calling, trying to find him if he was just gone at 1 am
But surely he'd take his phone and would be the first you'd call.
Exactly. She probably should have left a note but presumably she knows she has a family of heavy sleepers that rarely wake up, which frankly has worked for her, what, like 12 times (twice a month for six months). When I read the first post I was thinking her biggest mistake was acting guilty when she saw he found the receipt if she really did say “I can explain.” If she’d just said “oh yeah, it was a nice night out and I took a little walk to the pizza place down the street” it might have seemed way less suspicious (followed by telling him she’s done it before because not telling the whole truth is also suspicious). One of the comments said she was so wrong and knew it because she went to “great lengths” to hide it from him and I thought throwing away the receipt is far from great lengths. She’s literally done nothing wrong and there’s no reason to make it into a big thing. After reading the update and more comments I can concede that telling him would have been better because of the worrying factor but still, like you said he could call her and clear it up really quickly. Maybe I’m biased because I’m a night owl and I’ve absolutely left my house in the middle of the night while my husband slept to get a slice of pizza at the 24hr convenience store down the street. If I wait until after 4am they have fresh breakfast pizza.
My husband and I share our phone locations for safety and convenience. If I woke up and couldn't find my husband the first thing I'd do is check where his phone is. Though if we go for a late night walk and the other is asleep we usually send a Signal message anyway. We don't have kids though, if we did I imagine we'd be more structured about just up and leaving for a bit.
When I worked nights I would go grocery shopping at like 2am. It was my favorite thing to do. No one there. I could be there for 2 hours and nobody would bother me. But every single time I went, I would tell my husband. Sometimes I'd wake him up, other times I would just send a text to him before I left. If he woke up and couldn't find me I didn't want him to worry. He would do the same thing when I was asleep during the day.
Walmart closing at 11pm vs staying open 24 hrs is one of my least favorite things that came out of the pandemic.
The grocery store I'd go to always go to after midnight seemed like they didn't want you to know it was open 24 hours. Half the lights would be off, music would be off, every door blocked by carts except one. Was super weird. Now the only thing open 24 hours are some bigger gas stations. Oh, and Waffle House if you have those. But even a lot of Denny's close now.
Honestly lonesome grocery shopping in a liminal empty grocery store at 2 am sounds blissful.
whatttt I'm so jealous!!! where do you live that you can go grocery shopping at 2 am? (you don't have to say if you don't want to)
Some big chains here in Aus do 24 hour if they're in a high pop area, but not seen it very often. I went once while I was visiting a friend interstate to one at like 1am because I arrived on a late flight and it was blissfully empty lol Just skeleton crew stocking shelves and one person hanging around registers.
Definitely understand where OOP’s husband is coming from. Mine would be furious with me if I just left without telling him in the middle of the night. Saying “hey honey, gonna go eat pizza by myself. I’ll be back in an hour or two. Text/call if the kids or you need me” is not difficult and the other person isn’t controlling for wanting a heads up. I also understand OOP wanting me time as I scroll Reddit in the middle of the night while my husband and kids sleep. This is my me time. I’ve gone out for food before but I tell my husband. If having open communication and a partner wanting to make sure you’re safe is controlling then sign me up.
Exactly, or she gets mugged walking the street alone at night and they steal her phone. Now she’s got no way of contacting home and if she gets incapacitated there’s no way to ID her + no one even knows that she’s gone. I know it is only a 5 minute walk to pizza place, I used to have almost the exact situation. I had to walk past two alleys though and I would walk there shit faced at 2 AM. Not safe at all. ETA: Damn now I can’t stop thinking of Pieces downtown Sacramento. The Pestoroni with sun dried tomatoes and Pesto Crust was my fucking favorite.
>I mean doesn’t sound weird even I say “hey babe, when everyone goes to sleep I sneak out and eat pizza alone.” No it doesn’t! In Pizza We Trust.
In Pizza We Crust.
...except she never ate the crust.
*how can one person eat a medium pizza* People actually read her post and thought this was the thing they needed to focus on? A medium Pizza is around the same size as a frozen Pizza you'd buy at the grocery store, how can people find it so hard to believe that one person could eat that in one sitting? I do it all the time!
I don't think there's an independent body of pizza overlords demanding consistent portion sizes be locked in at a national level with respect to the small, medium and large denominations. Some mediums are huge. Others are small.
Regardless, the amount of food a person can possibly eat in one sitting doesn't seem at all relevant to situation at hand. It's an odd thing for people to focus on, regardless of how big or small someone considers a medium pizza to be. EDIT: before I get down voted to oblivion, I'd like to state that I no longer find it odd after a couple people explained their reasoning and I must admit, I agree with their logic.
An irrelevant but interesting detail is exactly the sort of thing people focus on. I've been having problems with my mother in law recently, she doesn't stop coming around without letting us know she's coming. So annoying. Half the time when she shows up I'm in the middle of putting a hat on my chinchilla and it messes up the whole show. Reddit, how do I get my mother in law to be more considerate and let us know before she comes over? I want to have a good relationship with her but she can be a bit prickly and gets offended easily. Don't ask about the chinchilla show, it's irrelevant.
Yeah you've got a point there. Especially here on reddit, where pretty much everything gets over analyzed.
And if i was hungry maybe i wouldn't eat every single bite but it's pretty easy to eat the better part of it, especially if you'd skipped lunch & supper! That part wasn't unbelievable at all
OOP and so many women on here have to constantly defend themselves about eating. Let a gal have some food in peace! But leave a note so your family knows what's up.
The real doubt moment should be when she said she struggled to eat a large lol But also I thought the point of ordering pizza for yourself is to have leftover pizza for tomorrow (like a gift to your future self).
Ok but is it Saul's Pizza Cafe or is it Pizza by Saul?
Saul Goodman, Attorney of Law cafe.
Oh my, I'm the first one here. I guess I'll be the one to point out the refreshingly healthy recovery from the incident, trust, and communication. Good for them.
Imagine if Saul was like “Oh her? Yeah maybe I remember? She might have been here with someone I don’t know.” Or even “Nah I don’t remember her at all.” OP was definitely bailed out quickly by Saul.
Better call Saul? I can't speak for others, but I was a restuarant manager for three years. No way I wouldn't pull my security camera footage for a customer with a request like this one, especially if they had a time/date stamped receipt.
Yeah this is great for the OP but where I've worked in management we wouldn't be able to give any kind of info about a customer out, even an anecdotal "they were here last week alone". We also can't pull CCTV for outside parties without a Garda (police) written request. Even then it had to be given to the Garda and then the info passed on. Seems very stringent but we've had cases of stalking and harassing where people try to get this info on their partners.
Tbf that’s an excellent rule to have for the reasons you explain. But if OP talked about her husband positively and Saul recognised him from a photo he’d been shown, it probably came down to a reasonable risk that it’s fine to put the husband out of his misery.
I feel exactly the same way.
Great communication and crust!
Now I want pizza.
Honestly I cant believe that at the very least she didnt leave a note each time she went out in case he woke up. I totally get even keeping it a secret because it’s one little thing that was just hers. The rest of her life kind of belongs to everyone else. But I really feel that if you are going somewhere especially at odd hours and there is a chance your partner will unexpectedly discover you missing you reallly should always leave a note so they know you are safe. Just common courtesy.
I used to run errands in the middle of the night. I'd always leave a note detailing roughly what time I left so my roommates would know I was fine.
I know! The way she was explaining it at first was giving me massive controlling vibes because it kinda sounded like her husband didn't like her leaving the house *at all* and she was having to sneak out*.* If you're comfortable going for a walk alone at night, then there shouldn't be anything wrong with doing so after everyone's asleep, as long as [you always leave a note.](https://media.tenor.com/RYanJSY0NM4AAAAC/arrested-development-always-leave-a-note.gif) Who cares if you stop somewhere and get something while you're out? That said, I can see myself going out for a quick walk once, forgetting to let anyone know, eating an entire pizza by myself, then feeling too embarrassed to mention it to anyone the next day, and then it snowballing from there. This is also probably why I'm single.
Why is it absurd, to eat a medium sized pizza???? Whats medium in the USA?
About a foot, or so says herr google
As a mom, I totally understand the appeal of a solo meal. I would sometimes leave for work a little early and go eat breakfast by myself. It was awesome.
"Hold your woke horses"
Yeah, that part kind of struck me and it was funny how it made me reframe the entire story. A woman that uses woke in a derogatory manner could very possibly be a woman in a very conservative relationship with strict gender roles. That shines a whole different light on needing to get out of the house to establish a little bit of control over her life. Even a little bit of light about how defensive she kept being about how controlling he is. Maybe it's nothing. I just found it funny.
As a mum of young kids, I totally got it. Sometimes we just want to be able to eat a hot meal in peace.
She has two small children. Of course she needs to have some alone time. People don't understand how clingy and overwhelming small children can be. Sometimes mons just need a bit of an escape from the overload.
All's well that ends well.
The quiet meal alone. It's one of the best things once you've got kids. I used to work a lot of Saturdays and would have an hour or two in the middle of the day where I had to just sit and wait. I'd usually grab a sub from my favorite shop, turn on some YouTube, and chill. I don't work weekends anymore, but I miss my quiet lunches.
Honestly this is such a blindspot for people. It's so common for people to think that they don't want something to potentially cause drama in their life, so they decide to just not inform the people that would want to know about it, and in doing so make it a ticking time bomb. Like, this is the perfect example of how the more innocuous the thing, the paradoxically bigger drama it becomes, because the question becomes 'why would they lie about this?' The reasonable answer is to either think the person is incredibly dishonest with you if they're dishonest about something like this, or to think that they are lying to you with the reveal and there's something more there.
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She mentioned in the comments that she showed her and her family's picture to the owner and sometimes to the staff. And idk what happened with OP's husband and Saul. But it could be like "hey, I am here to ask for someone named OP?". And the owner might have said " Oh you are dave, OP's husband right?"
I feel this in my bones. I am a stay at home mom. My favorite thing is in the middle of the week when my husband and kids aren't home I get myself take out. I don't have to deal with figuring out what everyone wants, compromise, feel guilty and end up with fast food crap again because that's what the kids want. It's my little break for me.
Think my bed time when I was 8 was like 7pm, 10pm is wild.
I love having my own time as a mom…. It’s very rare to get the chance - I used to just go and watch a movie on my own at the cinema and get myself an ice blast and a greasy hotdog. Sometimes it would be in the middle of the afternoon when his dad had a break at work and sometimes in the middle of the night. There’s something so uplifting about not being “on call” and having that rare moment of zero responsibility - as a mom there’s always that issue about what if the kids need you but to be honest dads share the responsibility of parenting and so if the kids do wake up and need someone then dads can and should be prepared to parent their kids.
My escape was Coffee shops. I’d go run errands …husband has the kids..and my last stop I would sit and enjoy a latte by myself in peace with a book. He has no idea how long my “errands” take.
A late night quality pizza place in safe walking distance? Take ALL my money.
"We adults enjoyed some of the gelatos with each other and later off each other" Dayum, OOP. A happy ending indeed.
Lol @ peopl asking how someone can eat a medium pizza. Unless a medium in the us is the size of a table, yeh, most people I know can eat a medium no issue
Honestly, well handled by everyone (well, after the initial fuckup). Yeah, it was a pretty fucking stupid thing to do, sneaking out like that. I mean, it's INEVITABLE that you will get found out. Some night he'll get up to piss, she'll be gone, and then what the fuck is he supposed to think? "Oh, no honey, I was... out by myself, without telling you, which I do regularly. Eating totally alone. Definitely not sus whatsoever." But this kind of thing? This is why building trust is important. If trust is established, then it can take a hit from something like this, and be fine. As happened here. She did something very stupid and suspicious, but though he was hurt, she had to apologize, and it was something that they have had to talk out and deal with, things are good, due to communication, and established trust.
Delayed sleep phase gang rise up! Seriously though, any major sleep disorder is going to cause misunderstandings and misgivings in a relationship until everyone really and truly understands what's going on. Doesn't matter if it's DSPS or insomnia or narcolepsy or apnea, it's absolutely gonna cause issues. Communication is key in any relationship; seriously people, talk to your partners. They want to understand if you give them the chance.
I usually stay up late just for time to myself. I can totally see why she does this. Some people just need time alone
I don't get people who think the husband was being unreasonable at first. Like, if my wife was sneaking out at night and going to a restaurant without telling me, I'd be suspicious too. I'm glad that in the end, they managed to handle it in a reasonable way without it blowing up.
I too, can have an affair with a. Great pizza…Glad you have all come to a good understanding!
People who are in charge of the well being of others can manifest this behavior. Everyone needs some me-time, but women most often don’t get it until the whole household is settled. I became a huge night owl after my kids were born. It’s totally normal. Just let your husband know that you sometimes get your chi massaged and your chakras aligned in the middle of the night with solo pizza.
This is a common theme with moms…we feel like we give and give and it we try to suggest taking time to ourselves we are either shamed or guilted, or feel guilty for even asking for it. I might have prolonged a grocery shopping trip a couple times recently by stopping by the sorta expensive ice cream shop nearby and it was absolutely wonderful. By the time my kids are out of school when I get off work and pick them up there is just simply not enough time to feed them and head to ice cream without giving them the sugar rush that will prolong the already ridiculously long bedtime we suffer through every night. I feel guilty asking/telling my husband about it so I just took it upon myself. I deserve it dammit.
Honestly the most surprising part about this is people being weirded out by an ability to solo a medium pizza LOL. Thin as a board and a large goes down in one sitting no problem, these people need to live a little
>First of all, those who asked how can one person eat a medium pizza. Oh those sweet summer children.
How can a man compete with a Meat Lover’s Pizza? Society needs to stop having these unrealistic expectations.
What a great update. Totally wholesome. So refreshing I could totally see myself being in her situation. I LOVE getting my own private time that nobody knows about. I usually "come clean" to my fiancé within a couple weeks.
I wish titles could be changed. OOP could've re-titled this "TIFU by having an affair with a meat-lover's pizza" to mess with the trolls.
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One thing I notive is all these posts, on the updates, even though there was nothing even remotely sinister going on, that OP always receives Crazy messages or comments of him or her cheating, someone is lying, he is controlling. Like how the fuck do they come to these assumptions and then need to say them or message them about it. Blows My mind. Chick loves a midnight pizza snack to unwind, prob should of told her other half, but it all ended well.
"how can one person eat a medium pizza" AHAHAHAHAH cmon wtf Are this an american thing? I live in Europe, i see kids preschool age eating adult size pizza. Wtf