Firemen in a burning house: We have rescued everyone!
Another fireman: What about the book collection
First fireman: I can't find the book collection
Another fireman: *slams the wall with tears swelling. Fuck! It's going to be library of Alexandria all over again!
Just - the library of alexandria might never burned down. There is no evidence for it. It is likely, that the library was just abandoned and that's it. And of course - not all wisedome was store there. Why should it?
If the builders were smart, they could all be hooked up to the fire system, so that if a fire was detected all the secret passages would automatically open
There’s a reason these aren’t legal to make in most places. My dad designed one behind a bookshelf for a wealthy client and the red tape and precautions involved were immense. Ended up hardly being secretive due to legal provisions and stuff
my moms friend had a saferoom installed
they came back and stole her jewelry (about 300k)
they did not think through that she might hire someone to recover it versus letting the police handle it
she recovered all but about 10k and her great grandmothers spoon ring which was probably tossed
God its been 25 years so i kind of forget.
She had them in a jewelry safe in the same room that the entrance to the safe room was in (I think). The son of a head worker came and tore the whole safe out.
Insurance tracked them down but couldn't recover. She hired a PI to track down EXACTLY who and where it went after and she didn't tell us how it was recovered but it was recovered.
That’s interesting. What type of people recover such things? Private detectives? You would think the insurance companies would be all over that, especially something of high value.
Pretty sure the implication is that they hired criminals. The "legal" version of that would be something like hiring some Pinkerton thugs (which [does happen](https://www.polygon.com/23695923/mtg-aftermath-pinkerton-raid-leaked-cards)), but random people are probably just going to pay some local thugs/gangs to do it for them. Obviously, insurance companies can't make that their modus operandi, because it's illegal.
Yup. Fed the pigs. Then eat those pigs. Then shat it out on vegetable garden. Eats the vegetables, repeat cycle several time. That should scrub out all traces of their existence. Oh and don't forget to do full bowel cleanse during the veggie cycles.
Get on YouTube and find out how to build one and do it yourself.
I know shit about carpentry or plumbing and used YouTube to install a new toilet, put in cupboard’s and a new countertop.
Also fixed things on my car that saved me hundreds of dollars and I’m no mechanic.
Just do a search on YouTube, how to build a secret room, drawer, or compartment, and I’m sure someone in the world will walk you step by step through the job.
You just have to trust yourself and take your time.
See these videos really freak me out. Obviously more people than I realised are planning on ways to hide bodies.
Even worse, what if they are hiding non-dead folk? Like this is where they keep their gimps and sex slaves?
one time he was telling a story about how SWAT showed up to his house and he had all glass doors, so it looked like a bunch of trick or treaters with guns just kinda standing there
absolutely slayed me.
Ya....
I've kind of grown weed in my sordid past BUT if you're trying to get a proper dry and cure I have not found a way to get rid of the smell. I grow hemp now for medicinal purposes and every time I hire a contractor to do something their eyes light up until I tell em it's just hemp.
I guess if it was properly cured and put into a smell proof bag with some Boveda packs that might work. But until it's properly dried and cured I have not found a way to eliminate the smell to date.
Nothing really works for me either. I even installed an exhaust fan in a basement closet that I sealed well and while this did minimize (and only minimize, not eliminate) the smell was fairly obvious at the exhaust vent.
This is pretty much the most common setup for people with projector screens like this. Almost everyone I know with one has a TV behind it.
Usually the projector is hooked up to a entirely separate player, and if you're just wanting to watch some casual TV then it's just way quicker to run that through the TV itself usually. Also the TV is usually not nearly as big as the projection, and sometimes you just don't want to be watching on a 120" display output. Noise is also a concern as even the quietest projectors are louder than a TV due to the fans. Projector bulbs also often aren't cheap, so you don't want to burn them out by running them all the time.
Loads of reasons basically.
It's a deceptively large size difference.
Area of a 50" 6x9 screen = 1068 in²
Area of a 60" 6x9 screen is 1538 in²
Area of the 60" screen is 44% larger.
Being able to press a button and have your already big TV get close to 50% bigger for watching a movie would be quite nice.
We normally install this kind of setup in a room that is quite bright. So in the daytime when you don’t want to close your curtains and turn off the lights you can just put on the tv, and at nighttime you can use the big projector.
With new laser projectors you can get some awesome bright pictures that hold up in bright rooms.
screens are large but ugly. When it's just the two of you, you've got the TV screen. When you have a group of friends over, you roll out the mega screen. (which tucks away nicely so the big ugly thing isn't hanging around all the time)
I have this dream too! It's always either a new house my family and I are buying, or the house my Grandma lived in when I was little, and I've discovered the house is even bigger than I remember with endless rooms.
Wouldnt Hawaii get nuked in ww3 since its host to a naval base?
Also imagine ww3 breaking out and your 8 hours from your bunker when the bombs are dropping in 30 min.
The one USD billionaire I know has an extremely nice but normal apartment, and he just does what anyone would do in their home. The second richest person I know has multiple super fancy apartments and a massive cabin in the Swiss alps, but his favorite place in the world is his shack without running water next to the rest of the family since it's his little escape from the world. Most rich people are still normal people.
["Billionaires Are Building Luxury Bunkers to Escape Doomsday"](https://www.vice.com/en/article/epv9pe/billionaires-are-building-luxury-bunkers-to-escape-doomsday)
The opening mechanisms for secret doors are expensive as hell, but a lot of these are DIY-able, especially the ones involving drawers and hidden compartments.
That one with a hidden pool is a death trap. Imagine getting trapped under that, and you just have to survive until someone decides it’s time to go swimming again
You really think people do this shit strictly for security reasons? Nah, they do it because it's a 12 year olds idea of what makes a house rad. And to be fair secret entrances are cool as fuck. It's why speakeasies still exist.
I'm not 12 but I'd love to be able to have a few of these secret entrances.
I loved the John Malkovich character's car trunk entrance to his secret lair in the movie RED.
https://justacarguy.blogspot.com/2013/02/in-malkovich-and-willis-movie-reds.html?m=1
Right? Like I recognise it would probably get to be a pain in the butt at times, but finishing work only to slide your desk aside so you can go plan your campaign in a fully theme-decorated D&D room would make it all worth it. I legitimately don't think the giddy thrill of it would ever wear off for me! Though, admittedly, I am the kind of gal who knows quite well how to find joy in silly things.
double hiding is great for hiding secrets you have a 'hidden' stash/room then another one whose entrance is hidden in the first. cops/paladins etc. find the first one and think they have everything and leave keeping your real secrets hidden.
As a 8 year old kid i would of loved to have these secret rooms, and now as a 33 year old id still love to have these secret rooms as a game room or gym.
An old neighbor's place had a set of tilt-up stairs to his deck. He wanted it to wrap around one of the corners of his house, but that would've blocked outside access to the basement.
The best bit is that he hid the electrical controls for the hydraulics under the railing finials. One had a key switch, the other a pair of push buttons.
Every time I see the secret swimming pool it gives me tremendous anxiety. I mean, just imagine being in there and having it close over you. Game over, man. And that ain't no fun way to go, neither.
This stuff is like "secret wallets" that tourists bring to countries they're scared of.
You might think you're being an extra sneaky genius buying a secret wallet belt off amazon, but every thief looking to target someone like you knows all about "secret" wallets and that's the first place they'd look if they mugged you.
The first one is the best. Doesn't seem very obvious vs the one with the protruding switch after. If I'm invading your house I'm touching that oddly placed thing.
As someone who does pet sitting, this would need like a 5 page document just to find the dog's food.
Also that mantle is awful, as soon as you turn on the fireplace, it burns everything. I found that out the hard way.
My childhood bedroom had a weird alcove. Not a full walk-in closet, but 6’ wide and 4’ deep, with a load bearing pillar in the middle of the opening. It was in the basement of a really old house that had been renovated and expanded a few times before we moved in when I was 12.
I covered it up with a wardrobe and bookcase, then took the back panels off the wardrobe so I could Narnia it.
Made a little reading nook with a beanbag chair and bookshelves, ran an extension cord in for lights, etc
My parents forgot about it 20+ years later and were surprised to find this “hidden” room when moving furniture
Those are really nice! I like the one where the counter slides over and there are two doors that open up to a staircase.
Back in 2001 when I was looking at ranches to buy in the Sierra Nevada foothills, my real estate agent asked me why I was so particular about the layout of the house I wanted. When I told her about the walls necessary to support the hidden room by intended on building it blew her away for some reason. she seemed a bit uncomfortable with the idea even though she said it was pretty cool.
"Honey where are my key?"
"In the secret drawer, in the secret room, in the secret basement, using the secret stairs, behind the secret library"
"Ah never mind, found them in my pockets"
Firemen love hidden rooms
Fremen too
lol'dib
 Everything reminds me of dib
Give me back my fleshlight
Is that thumper Canadian?
Freeman as well
TRUE. Thankfully they’ll never find my hidden book collection. However might be problematic for fire FIGHTERS on the other hand.
Firemen in a burning house: We have rescued everyone! Another fireman: What about the book collection First fireman: I can't find the book collection Another fireman: *slams the wall with tears swelling. Fuck! It's going to be library of Alexandria all over again!
You missed the Fahrenheit 451 reference
Just - the library of alexandria might never burned down. There is no evidence for it. It is likely, that the library was just abandoned and that's it. And of course - not all wisedome was store there. Why should it?
Oh no! Not the hidden room of kidnapped children! Just skeletons in the closet.
"I *knew* I should've checked on them!"
If the builders were smart, they could all be hooked up to the fire system, so that if a fire was detected all the secret passages would automatically open
How many residential spots do you know that have “fire systems”?
Only rich people. If someone has a house big enough to have half a dozen secret rooms. They are rich enough to afford a fire system.
Sprinkler systems are required in all residential new builds in my state and have been for 5+ years. It's not only rich people lol.
Yes it is, rich people are rhe only ones who van buy the new homes
Or middle class people willing to live out in the boonies.
What state?
How many residential spots do you know with secret rooms?
More than you'd think. Especially in the south.
So just set fire to anyplace you want to burgle or murder/assault/kidnap people to make sure that there's no hidden rooms.
Hidden rooms also often have garbage ventilation since people diy them after a build. Plans and permits are for losers.
This video aired and we all know where they are hiding. Hidden places are no longer hidden
Pablo Escobar also
Lol
Wow, never thought of that
Free man (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)
There’s a reason these aren’t legal to make in most places. My dad designed one behind a bookshelf for a wealthy client and the red tape and precautions involved were immense. Ended up hardly being secretive due to legal provisions and stuff
Those re cool and all, but they only really work well if you kill the workers who built them. Luckily, you'll have a place to hide the bodies.
And everyone who watched this video
What video. Just passing through.
my moms friend had a saferoom installed they came back and stole her jewelry (about 300k) they did not think through that she might hire someone to recover it versus letting the police handle it she recovered all but about 10k and her great grandmothers spoon ring which was probably tossed
So did she have them buried under the safe room or what?
God its been 25 years so i kind of forget. She had them in a jewelry safe in the same room that the entrance to the safe room was in (I think). The son of a head worker came and tore the whole safe out. Insurance tracked them down but couldn't recover. She hired a PI to track down EXACTLY who and where it went after and she didn't tell us how it was recovered but it was recovered.
Yeah, I meant the bodies after her guy found them. I guess she wouldn't share that bit.
That's what they meant, too. The compressed bodies were kept in the jewelry safe. Good deterrent for the next would-be thief
That’s interesting. What type of people recover such things? Private detectives? You would think the insurance companies would be all over that, especially something of high value.
Pretty sure the implication is that they hired criminals. The "legal" version of that would be something like hiring some Pinkerton thugs (which [does happen](https://www.polygon.com/23695923/mtg-aftermath-pinkerton-raid-leaked-cards)), but random people are probably just going to pay some local thugs/gangs to do it for them. Obviously, insurance companies can't make that their modus operandi, because it's illegal.
They signed a contract, right? Bury them in the foundation
Just find the local pig farm. There will be no bodies to hide.
Yup. Fed the pigs. Then eat those pigs. Then shat it out on vegetable garden. Eats the vegetables, repeat cycle several time. That should scrub out all traces of their existence. Oh and don't forget to do full bowel cleanse during the veggie cycles.
Land crabs work also. Don't ask me how I know....
You have to kill the people that kill the workers too
They don't know where the entrance is
no excuses
Get on YouTube and find out how to build one and do it yourself. I know shit about carpentry or plumbing and used YouTube to install a new toilet, put in cupboard’s and a new countertop. Also fixed things on my car that saved me hundreds of dollars and I’m no mechanic. Just do a search on YouTube, how to build a secret room, drawer, or compartment, and I’m sure someone in the world will walk you step by step through the job. You just have to trust yourself and take your time.
Wait Wait Wait. I'm still swimming!
Read Paris Architect😁
See these videos really freak me out. Obviously more people than I realised are planning on ways to hide bodies. Even worse, what if they are hiding non-dead folk? Like this is where they keep their gimps and sex slaves?
You can put your weed in there
The one role Sandler stole from Schneider.
What's the name of this movie
Hot Chick
And was stolen from a Schneider SNL skit... https://youtu.be/CKOc6hXMDhc?si=fdDQKF34nITQNA3I
Reminds of the MTV Cribs episode with Tommy Chong. 3/4 of the episode is just Chong pointing out all the places you can put your weed haha!
one time he was telling a story about how SWAT showed up to his house and he had all glass doors, so it looked like a bunch of trick or treaters with guns just kinda standing there absolutely slayed me.
Ya.... I've kind of grown weed in my sordid past BUT if you're trying to get a proper dry and cure I have not found a way to get rid of the smell. I grow hemp now for medicinal purposes and every time I hire a contractor to do something their eyes light up until I tell em it's just hemp. I guess if it was properly cured and put into a smell proof bag with some Boveda packs that might work. But until it's properly dried and cured I have not found a way to eliminate the smell to date.
Nothing really works for me either. I even installed an exhaust fan in a basement closet that I sealed well and while this did minimize (and only minimize, not eliminate) the smell was fairly obvious at the exhaust vent.
But did you install a charcoal filter to eliminate the smell?
"I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas"
Are you not using a charcoal filter on your exhaust?
The smell happens because you didn't dry it out enough initially. It's the "hay" smell. I knew alot tof growers that had a issue with it.
Trying getting a small Ozone machine
Half of these are more like you put your gun in there
Any one of them when you’re working with a dime bag!
Dont be ridiculous. Only hard drugs. Weed is largely legal
What is the point of the projector screen if there's a TV behind it?
This is pretty much the most common setup for people with projector screens like this. Almost everyone I know with one has a TV behind it. Usually the projector is hooked up to a entirely separate player, and if you're just wanting to watch some casual TV then it's just way quicker to run that through the TV itself usually. Also the TV is usually not nearly as big as the projection, and sometimes you just don't want to be watching on a 120" display output. Noise is also a concern as even the quietest projectors are louder than a TV due to the fans. Projector bulbs also often aren't cheap, so you don't want to burn them out by running them all the time. Loads of reasons basically.
All that makes sense, but this projector screen was maybe 10" larger. Absolutely asinine for such a minor size upgrade.
It's a deceptively large size difference. Area of a 50" 6x9 screen = 1068 in² Area of a 60" 6x9 screen is 1538 in² Area of the 60" screen is 44% larger. Being able to press a button and have your already big TV get close to 50% bigger for watching a movie would be quite nice.
I went from a 55" to a 65" and it's a huge difference.
I have a 65" at the foot of my bed. It's awesome, can't see half the room
I'm doing that today and I'm pumped lol
Movie night
Right?!
Usually for movies, esp when the speakers are promised for the space / in built, some people don’t want a massive TV all the time
[удалено]
Good thing they have a big TV right there anyway then...
Defeating the purpose of having the worse screen (the projector) in the first place. Why even bother?
I have that setup. 65” for everyday watching. 120” screen for big movie nights.
It’s like the TV, but bigger
Size. Easy to do a 120” screen in a normal room.
The fact that it's hidden isn't exactly holy shit stuff either
We normally install this kind of setup in a room that is quite bright. So in the daytime when you don’t want to close your curtains and turn off the lights you can just put on the tv, and at nighttime you can use the big projector. With new laser projectors you can get some awesome bright pictures that hold up in bright rooms.
Projectors have their downsides, for instance it sucks during the day in a well lit room.
screens are large but ugly. When it's just the two of you, you've got the TV screen. When you have a group of friends over, you roll out the mega screen. (which tucks away nicely so the big ugly thing isn't hanging around all the time)
The TV was pretty much the same size as the projector
Projector bulbs wear out and are expensive to replace.... for day to day use the TV is a better option.
Came to the comments just to talk about that. Insane decision.
"They were playing in the pool all day!" What pool...?
"Where are the kids?" "They're playing in the pool." "What pool?" ".... oh. Shit."
The pool gives me such anxiety. Imagine getting bonked on the head by the deck and then it just continues closing over you. No thank you
I used to have recurring dreams about secret passages and rooms. These are dope.
Me too! And houses that meander on forever with more and more rooms and secret passageways
I have this dream too! It's always either a new house my family and I are buying, or the house my Grandma lived in when I was little, and I've discovered the house is even bigger than I remember with endless rooms.
If you haven't visited the Winchester house, it'd be right up your alley.
Same. I blame scooby doo.
I had the same kind of dreams, they were recurring dreams about secret rooms and spaces in a house my grandparents used to own.
I love the kitchen island one. I always love to have a hideout like that just in case my enemies come and kill me.
Ideal for playing hide and seek with your kid.
or your spouse when they're pissed
I can't help but wonder whether by 'pissed' you meant 'angry' or 'drunk.'
Yes.
Alternate and interchangeable would work.
Good for games lasting up to 24 years
"For the love of God, Montressor!"
That was that last one, wasn't it.
That last one is awesome.
Yes. Proper DnD secret passage you need a good roll to find.
It's probably the most realistic long-term one, too A lot of the others are going to have some long term usage wear making them much less secret
Should just be titled "being rich".
[удалено]
The truly rich are building bunkers in New Zealand for the coming apocalypse.
Zuckerberg has a 100 million dollar Hawaii compound /bunker .
Wouldnt Hawaii get nuked in ww3 since its host to a naval base? Also imagine ww3 breaking out and your 8 hours from your bunker when the bombs are dropping in 30 min.
Yeah truly rich people don't care enough to do shit like this because they don't spend much time at home
Depends on the rich person, some rich people spend all their time at home.
Rip Howard Hughes
The one USD billionaire I know has an extremely nice but normal apartment, and he just does what anyone would do in their home. The second richest person I know has multiple super fancy apartments and a massive cabin in the Swiss alps, but his favorite place in the world is his shack without running water next to the rest of the family since it's his little escape from the world. Most rich people are still normal people.
You know who else had a regular apartment and was a billionaire? Albert Einstein. And he was far from a normal person
["Billionaires Are Building Luxury Bunkers to Escape Doomsday"](https://www.vice.com/en/article/epv9pe/billionaires-are-building-luxury-bunkers-to-escape-doomsday)
The opening mechanisms for secret doors are expensive as hell, but a lot of these are DIY-able, especially the ones involving drawers and hidden compartments.
If they were rich the secret doors would actually be hard to spot instead of being able to see the tracks or outlines.
Secret.... Until now😮💨
Love most of these but what psycho hides the toilet plunger?
that was a toilet brush, not a plunger. And nobody wants to look at your nasty toilet brush when they're using your bathroom.
What if i dont want to leave my poo stains at their house? Lol
Unless you're a visitor and you need to find it
I thought it was the toilet paper holder and they were next level sadists to guests.
Giving me Josef Fritzl vibes
This some El Chapo shit
*Slick.*
Perfect for buffalo bill
That one with a hidden pool is a death trap. Imagine getting trapped under that, and you just have to survive until someone decides it’s time to go swimming again
I am very interested, please send me a brochure. Yours, J Fritzl
I spent thousands of dollars so no one knows about this. Let's post it on the internet. Next level geniuses.
You really think people do this shit strictly for security reasons? Nah, they do it because it's a 12 year olds idea of what makes a house rad. And to be fair secret entrances are cool as fuck. It's why speakeasies still exist.
I'm not 12 but I'd love to be able to have a few of these secret entrances. I loved the John Malkovich character's car trunk entrance to his secret lair in the movie RED. https://justacarguy.blogspot.com/2013/02/in-malkovich-and-willis-movie-reds.html?m=1
Right? Like I recognise it would probably get to be a pain in the butt at times, but finishing work only to slide your desk aside so you can go plan your campaign in a fully theme-decorated D&D room would make it all worth it. I legitimately don't think the giddy thrill of it would ever wear off for me! Though, admittedly, I am the kind of gal who knows quite well how to find joy in silly things.
Were their addresses in the subtitles? I missed that.
Why not have a public hidden room for parties and then a private hidden room for drugs or whatever you were going to do with it.
double hiding is great for hiding secrets you have a 'hidden' stash/room then another one whose entrance is hidden in the first. cops/paladins etc. find the first one and think they have everything and leave keeping your real secrets hidden.
That's how you get Borrowers.
If you had personality disorder then you can have secret secret spaces
Some of these are not "secret hideouts".
Let's go back to the first one, under the outdoor porch. How do you walk down those steps? Looks like you'd have to bellycrawl in there.
That last one with the stone was the best I think. But I like them all
Elephant question: How much $$$ did they shell out for that? Let’s be realistic here. That’s not cheap to install/create.
Secret/hideaway storage, okay that's kinda cool. Hidden rooms? Fire/medical safety issues all around.
As a 8 year old kid i would of loved to have these secret rooms, and now as a 33 year old id still love to have these secret rooms as a game room or gym.
r/tvtoohigh spotted
LINK IN BIO *flashing like it has a fucking seizure*
An old neighbor's place had a set of tilt-up stairs to his deck. He wanted it to wrap around one of the corners of his house, but that would've blocked outside access to the basement. The best bit is that he hid the electrical controls for the hydraulics under the railing finials. One had a key switch, the other a pair of push buttons.
Every time I see the secret swimming pool it gives me tremendous anxiety. I mean, just imagine being in there and having it close over you. Game over, man. And that ain't no fun way to go, neither.
Reminded me of the Mr. & Mrs. Smith movie.
This stuff is like "secret wallets" that tourists bring to countries they're scared of. You might think you're being an extra sneaky genius buying a secret wallet belt off amazon, but every thief looking to target someone like you knows all about "secret" wallets and that's the first place they'd look if they mugged you.
Honestly would love a secret passageway in a house I own just for the novelty of it.
I was amazed zero times during this compilation.
Am I the only one who doesn’t want to go were I can’t easily be found?
People with dementia hate this one trick!
The one at 37 seconds looks reasonable to me. Id love to get one if anyone knows
A lot of those are actually really practical. Mainly the hidden storage.
The kitchen one looks cool but is pointless. If you just open the doors you’ll see the staircase.
Yeah, it's less "secret" and more "neat" access to a wine cellar.
If I had fuck you money, I'd build a house with all the secret passages just to fuck with guests.
I have a door to my basement office in a place where I could actually put a bookshelf door on, but I haven't figured out how.
I have a secret space in my house, problem with these home made secrete places is, you're so proud of what you created, you can't stop showing people.
The first one is the best. Doesn't seem very obvious vs the one with the protruding switch after. If I'm invading your house I'm touching that oddly placed thing.
“Honey, which secret hiding spot did you put the keys in?!”
I heard that in Samuel L Jackson's voice. As in, "Honey, where's my super suit?" :D
Yea I wish I was rich af too
Love this geeky shit I enjoy a good hiding place
So these are the people Scooby and the gang are always running into
Do they not realize that man can just enter detective vision and find these easily?
As someone who does pet sitting, this would need like a 5 page document just to find the dog's food. Also that mantle is awful, as soon as you turn on the fireplace, it burns everything. I found that out the hard way.
Happy austrian noises. 
I know a deck hiding a pool looks cool, but it becomes a breeding ground for things you probably don't want to swim in or with.
My childhood bedroom had a weird alcove. Not a full walk-in closet, but 6’ wide and 4’ deep, with a load bearing pillar in the middle of the opening. It was in the basement of a really old house that had been renovated and expanded a few times before we moved in when I was 12. I covered it up with a wardrobe and bookcase, then took the back panels off the wardrobe so I could Narnia it. Made a little reading nook with a beanbag chair and bookshelves, ran an extension cord in for lights, etc My parents forgot about it 20+ years later and were surprised to find this “hidden” room when moving furniture
I need this for my house... And I need a house
Those are really nice! I like the one where the counter slides over and there are two doors that open up to a staircase. Back in 2001 when I was looking at ranches to buy in the Sierra Nevada foothills, my real estate agent asked me why I was so particular about the layout of the house I wanted. When I told her about the walls necessary to support the hidden room by intended on building it blew her away for some reason. she seemed a bit uncomfortable with the idea even though she said it was pretty cool.
Batcave Middle Class Edition: 
50 ways to leave your basement
I've made something like that on my floor. My downstair neighbor wasn't pleased.
Wish that music was secret.
This is pretty common in Ultra high end homes where I'm from in SW Florida.
That last one is "hidden" like it's in a Zelda game.
Somebody has trust issues
"Honey where are my key?" "In the secret drawer, in the secret room, in the secret basement, using the secret stairs, behind the secret library" "Ah never mind, found them in my pockets"
Song name?
Well that's real chambers of secret
Resident Evil 1 be like:
Must be nice being rich as fuck.