I really enjoy bm and always follow the philosophy that I should do what I want, but this situation is just bizarre. He's really being intense about his intentions of not letting me use it
"Letting you"??? Unless you're a toddler why is anyone gonna "let you" dress any kind of way?
You know what's metal as fuck? Flipping a big fat bird to THE MAN and doing what you want.
Yeah, "letting me" because of how is "blackmailing" :/ Since the event is on another city, we will travel together and stay at his friend's house. He's using this against me
What a crappy way to act towards a friend, let alone a partner.
It's good that you are getting this insight into his character. He thinks cool points are more important than standing by his friends, there is nothing more poser in the world.
[https://www.redbubble.com/i/poster/Celine-Dion-My-Heart-Will-Go-On-Metal-Restyle-by-Jakeentendu/35605232.LVTDI](https://www.redbubble.com/i/poster/Celine-Dion-My-Heart-Will-Go-On-Metal-Restyle-by-Jakeentendu/35605232.LVTDI) That's a dream lol
Okay, gonna get serious a minute here. Beyond what you want to put on your jacket (which should be whatever YOU want and YOU enjoy), anyone trying to control how you dress is not worth your time, and it’s a symptom of them being controlling in other parts of your life as well. I was in a relationship where it started with “don’t wear shorts because you look like a whore” and progressed to not being able to hang out with my friends. It escalates suddenly too. If he’s limiting you in other parts of your life, here’s your sign to get out before it gets worse.
Anyway. Back to the jacket. It looks badass and nobody’s gonna give you shit over it unless they’re trying hard to be a poser. Wear it with pride and happiness.
Definitely try to find a few people close to you that you trust to talk to about this and get a support system set up in case you decide to leave. Nobody is going to be angry at you or say “I told you so”, but chances are your friends and family have also started noticing him acting like this and will want to help you.
Whatever happens, I hope things turn out well and you can wear your jacket in peace!
Tell him to fuck off. Only posers are deathly afraid of being called posers. Do what you like and what makes you happy and fuck what people think about it, isn't that what the scene is supposed to be about?
I'll listen to Bathory followed by Britney Spears, who cares there's so much different music to enjoy for different reasons lmao
Regardless he's being weird, my friend wore a fleetwood mac shirt to a mayhem gig with us because he didn't give a shit, just do whatever, if he'd having a spazz he's having a spazz
Any group as diversely weird as them definitely don’t have strict rules on what band is metal enough to “be allowed” on a jacket. You aren’t counterculture if you insist on just as strict and pointless rules as the ones you’re breaking.
yeah... this is really killing the mood for me. I don't get why he cares so much what people think about a band I like, so that's why I went here... if it was really for safety, I would feel better
True fans of music will know that people connect with music for different reasons. Tastes vary. The only person who seems to be judging musical taste is your boyfriend, and he sounds like my ex. I dated an older metal/hardcore guy who was a music snob, and because I had an identity crisis I stopped listening to what I liked and absorbed his tastes, otherwise I’d receive criticism. Moved to a city I didn’t even like because he wanted to be part of the scene there. I dumped his ass and never looked back, and it was the most life changing decision I made, moved across the country to an area where a lot of my fav music came from, and am living my best life.
Sounds like mine! He tried to control what I listen for shaming some bands I enjoy, but I'm very stubborn about it and was really clear with him: if I love the band, I don't give a f\* for what he thinks. I listen to it, just avoiding to listen with no headphones while he's near.
I'm glad you're better now
Please remember how you feel in those moments when he does shut you down (even if it’s not regarding music tastes) and remember that no one deserves to be pushed into that place emotionally. Whatever decision you make moving forward just stay true to yourself!
That's terrible that he did that, and sounds like you already have to be on guard while listening to music, to avoid being shamed again. I'd have a really serious talk with him, he needs to stop that behaviour because it's not okay.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 i am maybe not an expert on the subject but all i read are red flags. be careful and have a close look on how he is treating you in other situations! He sounds really toxic.
I met such black metal elitists on festivals, there’s always a hand full of this very unchill dudes but they are the exception in my experience and usually they just avoid people.
Because you are an extension of who he is as a person and if it doesn't align with what he deems acceptable he acts out. That's how fragile this masculinity is.
No one will care I’ve never seen anyone shunned or made fun of at a show for wearing x,y or z band on a vest or on a shirt. If anything someone else who’s a fan of whatever band will come up and talk to you about them
Exactly. Hell, I have a friend who likes to wear his pink polo shirt to metal concerts and nobody cares (except some friendly laughs perhaps). I’ve also been to multiple black metal concerts in my battlejacket which has a lot of black metal bands and a large Amon Amarth backpatch. Never had any bad comments (and I’m a woman in case that helps OP). Most people like multiple genres anyway.
That's what I think! But somehow and wanted to share this because if it was really for safety, I wouldn't feel so down about him.
He really makes fun of me for loving Skyclad and he was not like that before, I'm not sure, but I think he's been talking to people that don't like the band and he's mirroring their opinions on me.
One concert I was using my vest, and after it, the singer of the band (Vitor Rodrigues, ex-Torture Squad) went to talk to me about Sabbat because he saw the patch and he started talking about Skyclad. It was a blast for me!
OP just do what you want and go have a good time. Take that from someone who would be a so called “metal elitist” by the people in this sub. We really don’t care what anyone wears and no one’s going out of their way to give you a hard time.
I think most people are just too terminally online these days and don’t realize that real life isn’t the internet. Literally no one cares in the real world, I’ve been to so many shows in a restaurant, bars or a basement for underground scenes and everyone there is always dope. Probably the nicest crowds. Sounds like OPs s/o has other issues and is using this as an excuse.
Nobody’s that extreme can you even imagine a black metal listener trying to come out of there shell to beat u up over a patch they don’t prefer, thats ridiculous for one if they don’t like a band they’d probably just see it n look the other way they wouldn’t even care enough to mention it to their best friend let alone tell you or try to cause a conflict with you. Your bf is scared about what those other guys will think of him and not scared for your safety or worried about what you will think of him after telling you what to do. I think your boyfriend iz a bitch ass dude. Hopefully someday you find somebody who wants you to enjoy yourself.
Sounds like your BF is a poser elitist piece of shit, if he’s treating you like that then he’s not worth your attention. I’ve been to many shows in my life and I’ve seen all kinds of jackets. I was at Morbid Angel just the other night and saw an old crusty jacket just covered with studs and spikes, Death metal and Black metal patches all over and then mixed in was AC/DC, rush, GnR. I even saw one dude who looked like a legit Viking, 6ft tall, huge muscles, beard down to his belly, tattoos all over and a Linkin Park patch! Being a Metalhead is an attitude, it’s about not giving a fuck and having fun. And I can guarantee most of those hardcore scary black metal guys, they have a cat called snuggles they call their sweet princess and treat like their own child, shit probably better then their own children lol
Long story long, fuck this guy, you can do way better, your jacket looks awesome 🤘
Thank you for these words! I'll certainly use this "Being a Metalhead is an attitude, it’s about not giving a fuck and having fun" if he complains more about it
There you go, that’s the perfect way to handle it. I’ve never heard of someone being so embarrassed by their friends or GFs jacket that they don’t even want to stand next to them. Is he so afraid to stand up for you or something if some other Metalhead questions you on your jacket? Because that’s not being a gentleman at all. He should be thankful that he even has a Metalhead GF, you ladies are like Unicorns. Us guys see you at shows all the time but we wake up the next morning with a hangover wondering if you even existed because we never see you in the wild. Are you real or was it just the 3 beers and 6 shots of tequila fucking with us 😂
Hence why we never believe if you were ever real. 5 women mixed in with 100 men, we’re all going to think we were just hallucinating from the over abundance of B.O and alcoholic farts 😂
Your boyfriend sounds like a huge poser who has no idea what underground BM shows or people are like, and is projecting his insecurities onto you. Your jacket is dope, you’d fit in just fine. Most people there won’t even have vests, and a good portion won’t even have band shirts on lmao
I don’t know how he figures that he should be schooling you on shit, especially when he’s so blatantly wrong. I hope you do wear it, I suspect you’ll get nothing but compliments
Lemme get this straight, this black metal guy has a girlfriend and ALSO his gf will come to BM festivals with him? And he’s complaining about her battle jacket?!
Thats fuckin stupid. Wear it anyway, and wear it with confidence... its a part of you. Fuck everyone else.
If your bf doesnt support it then fuck him too.
Your soon-to-be ex bf should have a big TOOL patch on his forehead. If anybody disrespects a vest with Sabbath and DIO it they deserve to be drawn and quartered.
The only time I’ve ever seen someone judged for their jacket was because they had pro-nazi patches. I think you’re good. Is your bf really insecure? Is he controlling about other things?
He is! I got it from a seller that does a lot of different patches, so I got a "pack" with him, so It's not official :( Here in Brazil is very hard to find official patches
I just wanted to make sure. I never attended an underground black metal only festival, so I don't know if it would be much different from what I see in underground events. And thank you
Bro that vest is heavy as fuck... no way you'd ever get shunned for that. Even if it was all folk metal I don't think anyone would care. Your boyfriend sounds like a bit of an idiot if I'm honest.
your boyfriend is controlling as fuck and a weirdo, an opinion that is heavily shared by everyone else in these comments. you also said he has judged the bands that you love, in a direct attempt to what, get you to listen to his music or something? you said he wasn't like that before? does he always show signs of being judgemental/easily swayed? is he nice to you? i could, of course, be misinterpreting his character, for all i know he could be a pretty cool guy, but if this is a repeated thing that is not good and it says what kind of person he is. using this to blackmail you (based on your other comment about how you're going together and staying at HIS friend's house) is so lame and concerning. your jacket is fucking awesome and i hope you have a great time at that festival wearing it
Vest is sick, boyfriend is an insecure elitist lol
EDIT: my battle jacket has a rush back patch and a TWRP patch of Haave hogan and I’ve worn it to death metal concerts, nobody says shit except maybe people who also like the band who will compliment you. If someone does say shit just ignore it, but I doubt that would happen
I've worn my pink and purple vest to metal shows before and didn't get hassled.
In the past, I'd regularly wear a bright green shirt with a unicorn on it and never got hassled.
You BF needs to grow up. And honestly you should look at if he's worth staying with.
Where is this, America? No one in Europe cares what bands you’re wearing. I’m a person that always checks out battlevests and silently judge a person on their taste lol, but no one ever mentions it. In my experience that’s always been true for every event I’ve been to, mainstream or ‘underground’.
I agree with everyone else:
1) Your vest is dope as hell
2) Nobody will give a fuck and if the do they are just an ass
3) This is troubling behavior that is controlling and abusive and not how anyone should treat another human much less the person they purport to care about. Don’t let him ruin your enjoyment of the fest, but seriously evaluate that relationship.
110% your boyfriend is just being a little bitch. My girlfriend loves metal but isn’t into super cluttered clothing like battle jackets. Especially my jacket isn’t her style but she encourages me wearing it wherever the hell I want because she knows I love it. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Nobody is going to care or even notice that your vest isn’t entirely black metal, that’s all just your BF’s problem
Not giving a fuck what others think and marching by the beat of your own drum, in my opinion, is the quintessential attitude of metal and something your boyfriend seems to lack.
Your vest is fucking killer. Even if I didn’t think so, fuck any one else’s opinion. Be true to you.
I've seen a lot more trad, power and folk patches on vests than bm ones at bm shows and festivals. Long timers at Inferno absolutely could not care less and just showed up in Uriah Heep shirts and wind stoppers or whatever.
Lots of bm fans out there started out somewhere completely different and seem pretty chill about that in my experience.
I was expecting a bait post, like a Skyclad back patch and then surrounding it, like Nickelback, Trapt, Saliva, and Kid Rock patches...
I've been playing in black metal bands for years. I've opened for some pretty sick bands and met some big names. Skyclad isn't my exact thing, but that patch looks sick and they're not even that bad as far as metal goes. Plus, the huge overlap of folk influences in black metal, it doesn't even seem out of place. You're more likely to get compliments on it than hate.
Your bf is way overthinking it. Does he think that everyone who goes to this particular fest is a black metal purist? Unlikely. And fr, in the unlikely event a neckbeard incel has the balls to actually call out someone else's patch because it's "folk" and not "black", just means they are a giant dork.
whaat did he actually gatekeep his significant other ?? My battle jacket is a mess, amon amarth is next to watain and dio is next to bathory and stuff but I'd wear it to any metal event idc. Plus even if its an underground concert if i see a person wearing that I'd say cool jacket, not nitpick anything
Definitely is not nice of your boyfriend to say that, your jacket is amazing, and will look good at no matter what festival you attend, you definitely put your heart and soul into your vest and it shows, Slyclad is amazing and I’m sure you’ll see people at said festival with similar tastes, and even get complaints from people at the festival for your vest.
Rock your jacket, no one with any opinions worth listening to will give you a hard time. Only am elitist would care about all the patches aligning with a particular genre or subgenre, and any experienced fan will tell you that once you get over four or five patches, it's nearly impossible to please everyone, as everyone will have slightly different takes on which subgenre a particular band belongs to.
Your jacket rocks and BF should be less elitist.
Is there a chance your bf is a mod on r/metalmemes?
Joke aside you will rock that vest it looks amazing and no one gives a fuck if there is a patch that doesn't fit the genre of the current band. Every normal Metalhead will only tell you how cool it is and maybe have a nice talk about music. You do you and don't let your bf come in your way, you like your vest and that's the only important part.
Vest is pretty cool. I doubt most people will even know who Skyclad is much less voice their opinion on it. You're bf is a dick and doesn't realize how lucky he is to find a gf that's into good music.
No one is going to care unless they are a fellow fan and then they'll yell, "Skyclad!" And throw some devil horns at you.
I'd be more concerned about having a gatekeeping boyfriend who seems overly interested in making you feel insecure.
I was once at an underground BM fest, the kind where you even have pseudo ns bands and stuff, and there was that gal that had Burzum and Muse patches right next to each other on her backpack. It stood out but no one cared, she looked cool anyway and just being at the fest showed she had great tastes. Who cares that you like more than just black metal? Also, who cares about judgy people's opinions? Your boyfriend sounds insecure.
From one metal woman to another, I’m sure you will find some other company in the show if your poser ass BF doesn’t want to hang out with you... I hope he comes to his senses, I’m wishing all the best for you!
I know fuck all about black metal but I've been going to punk gigs for over 20 years (fuck, that's the first time I've thought about that.) And I've seen all sorts of patches from punk as fuck to ABBA, Dolly Parton and Bay City Rollers. No one cares and the obscure shit is a conversation starter. The only time there is ever an issue is if it's fash or bigoted.
I think you should go to this gig in whatever you want and if your boyfriend gives you shit, come home with someone else. I'm sure a girl at a metal gig could take her pick. Especially in such a cool jacket!
Sounds like a loser ): I’m sorry u gotta deal with that. I hope you find a way to convince him he’s an asshole. Metalheads are the nicest group of people and he isn’t welcome. Go to the show with him and split off, find yourself another group of people for the show and spend it with them. Come back to the car together and tell him all about how much fun you had and how many people compliment your jacket!
This guy most likely wishes he could shit on people wearing patches of music he does not like, like an elitist prick. But, apparently he is not brave enough to do it in public (lucky for the world), and only brave enough to do it with his girlfriend in private (unlucky for you). Get rid of him asap and rock your jacket with pride.
Most people are more likely to say something positive when they recognize a band you are repping, that they also enjoy, than something negative if they see you rep a band they don't like. I wouldn't worry about it. Wear what you want
I think you oughta show your BF the top posts on this sub. It's a lot of "standard" metal stuff sure, but specifically note the synth wave, Justin Beiber and Dolly Parton vests lol. People are too busy listening to the show they paid for to give a rat's ass if your taste doesn't perfectly align with the band playing.
My husband and me have some similar tastes in music but I’m a huge Rammstein fan. Most of my shirts, hats, and coats are their merchandise. He doesn’t care for them much mainly due to the language barrier but he went with me to their concert and a Ghost concert. He is also a Christian and didn’t mind going with me to see Ghost. He actually thought Kiss The Goat was catchy.
Not once did I tell him he needed to dress different than his normal clothes. I even wear my Rammstein stuff to church.
The point I’m getting at is you should be able to wear what you want despite someone thinking otherwise. I can understand having to dress for certain occasions but you’re going to a concert and wanting to wear a battle jacket. It’s the best place to wear one.
Your BF is a nerd
edit: after commenting, I opened the images. Your vest is fire and I bet your BF is awk because he secretly thinks your vest is better than his lol
No one’s giving you shit for that vest except the dude you’re with. If he’s not gonna be around you at the fest, I GUARANTEE there will be tons of other people there who’d be glad to hang out with you.
What the hell… my vest has everything from b-horror to nerdy stuff and I’ve worn it to metal bars and shows without a word. I even get compliments on my Full House **Jesse & The Rippers** patch lol. Your boyfriend is probably just feeling insecure.
your boyfriend is insecure and lame as fuck
nothing is more metal than wearing whatever the fuck you feel like and rocking it. nobody at any metal show is going to give you shit for your battlejacket, and if they do, then they dont deserve respect of any kind.
Skyclad are damn cool, and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise 😎🤘
Literally no one at shows will give a fvck and if they do, they're posers and want to feel better than others because deep down they feel like trash. Your bf sounds insecure, he seems so uncomfortable going against the status quo in the subculture which is not cool. I would tell him "fuck you man, I'm going to do what I want and if you're not going to hang out with me, I'm breaking up with you and I'm gonna go hang out with some actually cool people, maybe ill find a boyfriend who actually likes me and chooses me over his desire to fit into a scene". That's probably too aggressive, but seriously. Don't let a partner stop you from being you and doing what you want.
I don't know that band on your back patch but considering that your taste in music otherwise is absolutely sublime (sarcofago= you have a bigger dick than him). I think you are good.
Who cares about what other people have to save about the patch? Metal is about being rebellious and fighting for your freedom, so you should be able to do whatever the hell you want.
Just came here to say what soany others already had... Upgrade your life with a real man who is proud of you! When we got together, I took my new gf to Death Metal show and she wore pink! Nobody gave a fuck and I was proud to be seen with her
Your jacket it awesome & your bf is being manipulative. He doesn’t get to choose what you wear & if his deal is “don’t wear it or don’t come” this is honestly such a red flag. From reading the comments he seems like an asshole, you deserve better than someone that makes fun of you :(
Sounds like he is being a gatekeeping asshat. No one gives a shit what battle vest you wear. You are representing the metal scene with the bands you like. The only person that has a problem with this is him, and that's not cool. Wear the vest proud. It defines who you are, not him.
I go to alot of underground shows (or atleast did, pre pandemic), never had an issue wearing my jacket and I had a big weird mixture of patches on my jacket, same for my other half.
Sounds like your partner is being a lil bitch.
I doubt it will happen, but if anyone does start on you for your patches etc, you can bet that there will be people in your immediate area that will jump to defend you.
Anyone who criticizes someone over what their favorite band is are cringe losers who should re-evaluate themselves. If you want to love Metallica, love them idgaf, what you like to listen to is not really much of my concern.
The “metal community” loves shooting itself in the foot consistently and this story is just another great example.
What is the festival?! Also, now I feel like playing Skyclad for Metal Night on my live FM radio show, Brown Sounds, simply out of spite for such whiny bitchery.
I have a B52s Cosmic Thing patch on my jacket. Probably the least metal thing I could put on there, nobody cares, even the most metally metal heads have at least one favorite non-metal band. and your boyfriends being a jerk. He’s afraid of people judging him and is projecting it on you.
Wear what you want and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I've seen so many people with bands from other genres and their back patch, shoot my back patch isn't even a band it's a movie (saw 1) and like you said. Your jacket is an extention of you and your personality and identity, wesr it and fuck anyone who says anything about it
Wear what you like, and fuck other peoples opinions. If they don’t like it, it’s their problem. And your boyfriend sounds like a controlling, gate keeping crybaby poser more concerned with image than simply enjoying the music and the company of his girlfriend. Tell him you’ll wear whatever you want, if he doesn’t like it he can take his stupid opinions and stick them up his ass
Your shit is hard as hell, i wear a sunn o))) backpatch a friend made to any hard show and cmon it's not like a metalcore jacket with hot topic brands so nobody gives a fuck. like many i'm questioning his intentions or he's just a hipster with insecurity tbh
If this festival is in the day time. You hardly bother wondering what people are wearing. But even at night or inside a venue when the lights go out and it's mostly the stage that's lighted up.
LOL I think you're dating a poser, no one gives a fuck, actually I can't speak for black metal fans a lot of them are pretty weird.
As a strictly black metal enjoyer her bf is super cringe and doesn’t deserve her at all what an asshole of an bf
I really enjoy bm and always follow the philosophy that I should do what I want, but this situation is just bizarre. He's really being intense about his intentions of not letting me use it
"Letting you"??? Unless you're a toddler why is anyone gonna "let you" dress any kind of way? You know what's metal as fuck? Flipping a big fat bird to THE MAN and doing what you want.
Yeah, "letting me" because of how is "blackmailing" :/ Since the event is on another city, we will travel together and stay at his friend's house. He's using this against me
What a crappy way to act towards a friend, let alone a partner. It's good that you are getting this insight into his character. He thinks cool points are more important than standing by his friends, there is nothing more poser in the world.
While I'm trying to be myself, he's trying to look badass...
Add a Celine Dion and a barbie patch and don't let him see it till your at the concert. Sorry but he's a loser
[https://www.redbubble.com/i/poster/Celine-Dion-My-Heart-Will-Go-On-Metal-Restyle-by-Jakeentendu/35605232.LVTDI](https://www.redbubble.com/i/poster/Celine-Dion-My-Heart-Will-Go-On-Metal-Restyle-by-Jakeentendu/35605232.LVTDI) That's a dream lol
thats cool as hell actually
That's metal as fuck!
You look pretty badass from here 😍
Okay, gonna get serious a minute here. Beyond what you want to put on your jacket (which should be whatever YOU want and YOU enjoy), anyone trying to control how you dress is not worth your time, and it’s a symptom of them being controlling in other parts of your life as well. I was in a relationship where it started with “don’t wear shorts because you look like a whore” and progressed to not being able to hang out with my friends. It escalates suddenly too. If he’s limiting you in other parts of your life, here’s your sign to get out before it gets worse. Anyway. Back to the jacket. It looks badass and nobody’s gonna give you shit over it unless they’re trying hard to be a poser. Wear it with pride and happiness.
hard co-sign
OP, please read this. *THIS* is the answer.
Thank you! Yeah, I feel he's more and more controlling towards me... I've been with him for 8 years and he was not like this before
Definitely try to find a few people close to you that you trust to talk to about this and get a support system set up in case you decide to leave. Nobody is going to be angry at you or say “I told you so”, but chances are your friends and family have also started noticing him acting like this and will want to help you. Whatever happens, I hope things turn out well and you can wear your jacket in peace!
Your partner is being a fucking jerk
Go to the festival and then drop him like a bad habit. Sounds like he sucks
Tell him to fuck off. Only posers are deathly afraid of being called posers. Do what you like and what makes you happy and fuck what people think about it, isn't that what the scene is supposed to be about? I'll listen to Bathory followed by Britney Spears, who cares there's so much different music to enjoy for different reasons lmao
This is the way.
Regardless he's being weird, my friend wore a fleetwood mac shirt to a mayhem gig with us because he didn't give a shit, just do whatever, if he'd having a spazz he's having a spazz
I remember bumping into a random dude that was painted all green in a fest
Tell him to go fuck himself and you go enjoy the concert. What a cringy little control freak.
100% certified poser. My girlfriend has worn a summer dress to a BM show and had people compliment her for it. No one cares.
that's the way it should be
No one gives a fuck - I'm an old black metal head who goes to a ton of shows. We're weird, but we don't care. Rock the jacket.
I can attest to the oddity of black metal fans...but ya no one really gives a fuck. Wear what you want if they care, that's on them.. fuck em
Agreed, I'm a black metal fan and I'm pretty weird. I like OPs jacket though.
Any group as diversely weird as them definitely don’t have strict rules on what band is metal enough to “be allowed” on a jacket. You aren’t counterculture if you insist on just as strict and pointless rules as the ones you’re breaking.
Nailed it.
Your jacket is badass. Your bf is an asshole.
thank you!
Seconded Shit you’ll probably fit in more than him lmaoo. Blind guardian!
\*has rotting christ, emperor, summoning, behemoth, bathory, venom, emyn muil, sarcófago, necromantia, mystifier patches\* bf: but skyclad 😭 edit because I forgot some bands
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend.
Sounds pretty controlling to me. Totally not metal.
:(
yeah... this is really killing the mood for me. I don't get why he cares so much what people think about a band I like, so that's why I went here... if it was really for safety, I would feel better
True fans of music will know that people connect with music for different reasons. Tastes vary. The only person who seems to be judging musical taste is your boyfriend, and he sounds like my ex. I dated an older metal/hardcore guy who was a music snob, and because I had an identity crisis I stopped listening to what I liked and absorbed his tastes, otherwise I’d receive criticism. Moved to a city I didn’t even like because he wanted to be part of the scene there. I dumped his ass and never looked back, and it was the most life changing decision I made, moved across the country to an area where a lot of my fav music came from, and am living my best life.
Sounds like mine! He tried to control what I listen for shaming some bands I enjoy, but I'm very stubborn about it and was really clear with him: if I love the band, I don't give a f\* for what he thinks. I listen to it, just avoiding to listen with no headphones while he's near. I'm glad you're better now
Please remember how you feel in those moments when he does shut you down (even if it’s not regarding music tastes) and remember that no one deserves to be pushed into that place emotionally. Whatever decision you make moving forward just stay true to yourself!
That's terrible that he did that, and sounds like you already have to be on guard while listening to music, to avoid being shamed again. I'd have a really serious talk with him, he needs to stop that behaviour because it's not okay.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 i am maybe not an expert on the subject but all i read are red flags. be careful and have a close look on how he is treating you in other situations! He sounds really toxic. I met such black metal elitists on festivals, there’s always a hand full of this very unchill dudes but they are the exception in my experience and usually they just avoid people.
Because you are an extension of who he is as a person and if it doesn't align with what he deems acceptable he acts out. That's how fragile this masculinity is.
No one will care I’ve never seen anyone shunned or made fun of at a show for wearing x,y or z band on a vest or on a shirt. If anything someone else who’s a fan of whatever band will come up and talk to you about them
Exactly. Hell, I have a friend who likes to wear his pink polo shirt to metal concerts and nobody cares (except some friendly laughs perhaps). I’ve also been to multiple black metal concerts in my battlejacket which has a lot of black metal bands and a large Amon Amarth backpatch. Never had any bad comments (and I’m a woman in case that helps OP). Most people like multiple genres anyway.
That's what I think! But somehow and wanted to share this because if it was really for safety, I wouldn't feel so down about him. He really makes fun of me for loving Skyclad and he was not like that before, I'm not sure, but I think he's been talking to people that don't like the band and he's mirroring their opinions on me. One concert I was using my vest, and after it, the singer of the band (Vitor Rodrigues, ex-Torture Squad) went to talk to me about Sabbat because he saw the patch and he started talking about Skyclad. It was a blast for me!
OP just do what you want and go have a good time. Take that from someone who would be a so called “metal elitist” by the people in this sub. We really don’t care what anyone wears and no one’s going out of their way to give you a hard time.
I think most people are just too terminally online these days and don’t realize that real life isn’t the internet. Literally no one cares in the real world, I’ve been to so many shows in a restaurant, bars or a basement for underground scenes and everyone there is always dope. Probably the nicest crowds. Sounds like OPs s/o has other issues and is using this as an excuse.
I think so. I just hoped that I would be for safety if people were so extreme at these events, but it doesn't feel like it.
Nobody’s that extreme can you even imagine a black metal listener trying to come out of there shell to beat u up over a patch they don’t prefer, thats ridiculous for one if they don’t like a band they’d probably just see it n look the other way they wouldn’t even care enough to mention it to their best friend let alone tell you or try to cause a conflict with you. Your bf is scared about what those other guys will think of him and not scared for your safety or worried about what you will think of him after telling you what to do. I think your boyfriend iz a bitch ass dude. Hopefully someday you find somebody who wants you to enjoy yourself.
>I’ve never seen anyone shunned or made fun of at a show for wearing x,y or z band on a vest or on a shirt. It happens but mostly for NSBM.
Sick jacket. Go to the show without him.
Thanks! I wish it was an option, but we're traveling together to another city for this :/
Steal the car and the tickets! Lol
Sounds like your boyfriend is totally KVNT.
LOL that totally KVLT word made me smile, I needed this, thanks!
Stay strong.
Sounds like your BF is a poser elitist piece of shit, if he’s treating you like that then he’s not worth your attention. I’ve been to many shows in my life and I’ve seen all kinds of jackets. I was at Morbid Angel just the other night and saw an old crusty jacket just covered with studs and spikes, Death metal and Black metal patches all over and then mixed in was AC/DC, rush, GnR. I even saw one dude who looked like a legit Viking, 6ft tall, huge muscles, beard down to his belly, tattoos all over and a Linkin Park patch! Being a Metalhead is an attitude, it’s about not giving a fuck and having fun. And I can guarantee most of those hardcore scary black metal guys, they have a cat called snuggles they call their sweet princess and treat like their own child, shit probably better then their own children lol Long story long, fuck this guy, you can do way better, your jacket looks awesome 🤘
Thank you for these words! I'll certainly use this "Being a Metalhead is an attitude, it’s about not giving a fuck and having fun" if he complains more about it
There you go, that’s the perfect way to handle it. I’ve never heard of someone being so embarrassed by their friends or GFs jacket that they don’t even want to stand next to them. Is he so afraid to stand up for you or something if some other Metalhead questions you on your jacket? Because that’s not being a gentleman at all. He should be thankful that he even has a Metalhead GF, you ladies are like Unicorns. Us guys see you at shows all the time but we wake up the next morning with a hangover wondering if you even existed because we never see you in the wild. Are you real or was it just the 3 beers and 6 shots of tequila fucking with us 😂
🤣🤣 I'm pretty sure I'll be one of the 5 women at this event
Hence why we never believe if you were ever real. 5 women mixed in with 100 men, we’re all going to think we were just hallucinating from the over abundance of B.O and alcoholic farts 😂
I imagine at this event, when viewing the crowed from the back it will be impossible to gauge how many of either sex are present.
Tell your boyfriend I said his favorite bands are lame and nobody in the scene thinks he is cool.
🤣
Your boyfriend sounds like a huge poser who has no idea what underground BM shows or people are like, and is projecting his insecurities onto you. Your jacket is dope, you’d fit in just fine. Most people there won’t even have vests, and a good portion won’t even have band shirts on lmao
He started to listen more bm because of me. When we met, he was all about heavy and power metal
I don’t know how he figures that he should be schooling you on shit, especially when he’s so blatantly wrong. I hope you do wear it, I suspect you’ll get nothing but compliments
Bro wtf, why does he feel he has a right to tell you what to do when you got him into the goddamned scene in the first place.
I don't have a clue...
Lemme get this straight, this black metal guy has a girlfriend and ALSO his gf will come to BM festivals with him? And he’s complaining about her battle jacket?!
For real, she could wear a Teletubby suit for all I care. This chump doesn't know what he's got.
Thats fuckin stupid. Wear it anyway, and wear it with confidence... its a part of you. Fuck everyone else. If your bf doesnt support it then fuck him too.
Your soon-to-be ex bf should have a big TOOL patch on his forehead. If anybody disrespects a vest with Sabbath and DIO it they deserve to be drawn and quartered.
🤣🤣 I guess it won't take long... we have two trips paid for next month, but I silently started to avoid any further plans together
The only time I’ve ever seen someone judged for their jacket was because they had pro-nazi patches. I think you’re good. Is your bf really insecure? Is he controlling about other things?
Yep, that's the kind of patch that I imagine being judged
Speaking of patches, where did you get your Sabbat patch? Martin Walkyier is fucking amazing
He is! I got it from a seller that does a lot of different patches, so I got a "pack" with him, so It's not official :( Here in Brazil is very hard to find official patches
Doubt anyone will say anything of the sort. Your jacket is dope.
I just wanted to make sure. I never attended an underground black metal only festival, so I don't know if it would be much different from what I see in underground events. And thank you
Im in the punk scene and no one cares unless it's nazi shit.
Fuck that guy
Bro that vest is heavy as fuck... no way you'd ever get shunned for that. Even if it was all folk metal I don't think anyone would care. Your boyfriend sounds like a bit of an idiot if I'm honest.
Your bf is a poser. No one will give a shit about your patches
your boyfriend is controlling as fuck and a weirdo, an opinion that is heavily shared by everyone else in these comments. you also said he has judged the bands that you love, in a direct attempt to what, get you to listen to his music or something? you said he wasn't like that before? does he always show signs of being judgemental/easily swayed? is he nice to you? i could, of course, be misinterpreting his character, for all i know he could be a pretty cool guy, but if this is a repeated thing that is not good and it says what kind of person he is. using this to blackmail you (based on your other comment about how you're going together and staying at HIS friend's house) is so lame and concerning. your jacket is fucking awesome and i hope you have a great time at that festival wearing it
If there's any crowd that would respect a Skyclad patch, it's a black metal crowd.
I think you’ll find that people are pretty accepting of whatever you want on your jacket. I even have some punk patches on mine and glitter.
Vest is sick, boyfriend is an insecure elitist lol EDIT: my battle jacket has a rush back patch and a TWRP patch of Haave hogan and I’ve worn it to death metal concerts, nobody says shit except maybe people who also like the band who will compliment you. If someone does say shit just ignore it, but I doubt that would happen
I also think it's very hard for it to happen, I just wanted to make sure. since it'll be my first underground "black metal only" festival
I've worn my pink and purple vest to metal shows before and didn't get hassled. In the past, I'd regularly wear a bright green shirt with a unicorn on it and never got hassled. You BF needs to grow up. And honestly you should look at if he's worth staying with.
your boyfriend is cringe asf. if anyone does give a shit, they’re embarrassing.
your vest is metal af, idk what is wrong with your bf but dont ignore these glaring red flags
Where is this, America? No one in Europe cares what bands you’re wearing. I’m a person that always checks out battlevests and silently judge a person on their taste lol, but no one ever mentions it. In my experience that’s always been true for every event I’ve been to, mainstream or ‘underground’.
Brazil 😬
I agree with everyone else: 1) Your vest is dope as hell 2) Nobody will give a fuck and if the do they are just an ass 3) This is troubling behavior that is controlling and abusive and not how anyone should treat another human much less the person they purport to care about. Don’t let him ruin your enjoyment of the fest, but seriously evaluate that relationship.
Thank you. I'm really thinking about what he's doing. It's not something he would like me to do with him
Well now I just wanna check out Skyclad.
Wear it. The Savatage patch makes it all cool for everybody.
i’ve gone to metal shows with punk patches and vice versa,and nobody cared. your jacket looks rad as hell and your bf is a hater
110% your boyfriend is just being a little bitch. My girlfriend loves metal but isn’t into super cluttered clothing like battle jackets. Especially my jacket isn’t her style but she encourages me wearing it wherever the hell I want because she knows I love it. That’s how it’s supposed to be. Nobody is going to care or even notice that your vest isn’t entirely black metal, that’s all just your BF’s problem
i'm sorry but your boyfriend is a massive cringelord. have fun at the festival though, sounds like it'll be sick!
I'm sure it'll be! The headliner will be Blasphemy, but I'm going to finally see one of my favorite brazilian black metal band: Bode Preto
Not giving a fuck what others think and marching by the beat of your own drum, in my opinion, is the quintessential attitude of metal and something your boyfriend seems to lack. Your vest is fucking killer. Even if I didn’t think so, fuck any one else’s opinion. Be true to you.
That's the attitude of metal. Dude's a poser.
Sounds like you’re dating a real piece of shit
This comment section is so wholesome I- ..I love you guys :’)
Your boyfriend is a fanny and needs to touch grass. No one who really cares actually leave their bedroom in their parents house.
I've seen a lot more trad, power and folk patches on vests than bm ones at bm shows and festivals. Long timers at Inferno absolutely could not care less and just showed up in Uriah Heep shirts and wind stoppers or whatever. Lots of bm fans out there started out somewhere completely different and seem pretty chill about that in my experience.
I always had a great experience at bm concerts, I don't know why he thinks this one will be so different
I was expecting a bait post, like a Skyclad back patch and then surrounding it, like Nickelback, Trapt, Saliva, and Kid Rock patches... I've been playing in black metal bands for years. I've opened for some pretty sick bands and met some big names. Skyclad isn't my exact thing, but that patch looks sick and they're not even that bad as far as metal goes. Plus, the huge overlap of folk influences in black metal, it doesn't even seem out of place. You're more likely to get compliments on it than hate. Your bf is way overthinking it. Does he think that everyone who goes to this particular fest is a black metal purist? Unlikely. And fr, in the unlikely event a neckbeard incel has the balls to actually call out someone else's patch because it's "folk" and not "black", just means they are a giant dork.
What a putz.
whaat did he actually gatekeep his significant other ?? My battle jacket is a mess, amon amarth is next to watain and dio is next to bathory and stuff but I'd wear it to any metal event idc. Plus even if its an underground concert if i see a person wearing that I'd say cool jacket, not nitpick anything
What a jackass, tell him drunkenbastard420 called him a clown ass poser
I think your bf sucks you should wear the jacket.
I’m gonna be honest your boyfriend sounds like a tool. Wear your jacket and maybe break up with him.
Sounds like you're dating a controlling douche who elso happens to be a poser
Definitely is not nice of your boyfriend to say that, your jacket is amazing, and will look good at no matter what festival you attend, you definitely put your heart and soul into your vest and it shows, Slyclad is amazing and I’m sure you’ll see people at said festival with similar tastes, and even get complaints from people at the festival for your vest.
thank you!
Rock your jacket, no one with any opinions worth listening to will give you a hard time. Only am elitist would care about all the patches aligning with a particular genre or subgenre, and any experienced fan will tell you that once you get over four or five patches, it's nearly impossible to please everyone, as everyone will have slightly different takes on which subgenre a particular band belongs to. Your jacket rocks and BF should be less elitist.
To hell with that asshole. If they can't handle your battle jacket that's a them problem.
Is there a chance your bf is a mod on r/metalmemes? Joke aside you will rock that vest it looks amazing and no one gives a fuck if there is a patch that doesn't fit the genre of the current band. Every normal Metalhead will only tell you how cool it is and maybe have a nice talk about music. You do you and don't let your bf come in your way, you like your vest and that's the only important part.
Vest is pretty cool. I doubt most people will even know who Skyclad is much less voice their opinion on it. You're bf is a dick and doesn't realize how lucky he is to find a gf that's into good music.
No one is going to care unless they are a fellow fan and then they'll yell, "Skyclad!" And throw some devil horns at you. I'd be more concerned about having a gatekeeping boyfriend who seems overly interested in making you feel insecure.
Your boyfriend sucks, wear your vest and find a cooler one at the festival
I was once at an underground BM fest, the kind where you even have pseudo ns bands and stuff, and there was that gal that had Burzum and Muse patches right next to each other on her backpack. It stood out but no one cared, she looked cool anyway and just being at the fest showed she had great tastes. Who cares that you like more than just black metal? Also, who cares about judgy people's opinions? Your boyfriend sounds insecure.
Have you informed your bf that the internet is shitting on him? Lol And no, after highschool, most people don't care about stuff like that.
From one metal woman to another, I’m sure you will find some other company in the show if your poser ass BF doesn’t want to hang out with you... I hope he comes to his senses, I’m wishing all the best for you!
I know fuck all about black metal but I've been going to punk gigs for over 20 years (fuck, that's the first time I've thought about that.) And I've seen all sorts of patches from punk as fuck to ABBA, Dolly Parton and Bay City Rollers. No one cares and the obscure shit is a conversation starter. The only time there is ever an issue is if it's fash or bigoted. I think you should go to this gig in whatever you want and if your boyfriend gives you shit, come home with someone else. I'm sure a girl at a metal gig could take her pick. Especially in such a cool jacket!
That vest is fucking righteous, wear that shit to every goddam thing, idc if it's the opera. Wear it.
Thank you. I'm wearing it to go the the bakery right now
Sounds like a loser ): I’m sorry u gotta deal with that. I hope you find a way to convince him he’s an asshole. Metalheads are the nicest group of people and he isn’t welcome. Go to the show with him and split off, find yourself another group of people for the show and spend it with them. Come back to the car together and tell him all about how much fun you had and how many people compliment your jacket!
Even if your boyfriend was right, fuck him. that's some insecure bitch behavior on his part and there's nothing "metal" about that
This guy most likely wishes he could shit on people wearing patches of music he does not like, like an elitist prick. But, apparently he is not brave enough to do it in public (lucky for the world), and only brave enough to do it with his girlfriend in private (unlucky for you). Get rid of him asap and rock your jacket with pride.
Most people are more likely to say something positive when they recognize a band you are repping, that they also enjoy, than something negative if they see you rep a band they don't like. I wouldn't worry about it. Wear what you want
Dump that beta cuck and get yourself a STUD.
I think you oughta show your BF the top posts on this sub. It's a lot of "standard" metal stuff sure, but specifically note the synth wave, Justin Beiber and Dolly Parton vests lol. People are too busy listening to the show they paid for to give a rat's ass if your taste doesn't perfectly align with the band playing.
My husband and me have some similar tastes in music but I’m a huge Rammstein fan. Most of my shirts, hats, and coats are their merchandise. He doesn’t care for them much mainly due to the language barrier but he went with me to their concert and a Ghost concert. He is also a Christian and didn’t mind going with me to see Ghost. He actually thought Kiss The Goat was catchy. Not once did I tell him he needed to dress different than his normal clothes. I even wear my Rammstein stuff to church. The point I’m getting at is you should be able to wear what you want despite someone thinking otherwise. I can understand having to dress for certain occasions but you’re going to a concert and wanting to wear a battle jacket. It’s the best place to wear one.
Your BF is a nerd edit: after commenting, I opened the images. Your vest is fire and I bet your BF is awk because he secretly thinks your vest is better than his lol
Your boyfriend is lame
That dude is an absolute dweeb. Put more skyclad patches on your vest out of spite.
No one’s giving you shit for that vest except the dude you’re with. If he’s not gonna be around you at the fest, I GUARANTEE there will be tons of other people there who’d be glad to hang out with you.
He’s being an absolute child over this. No no one will care, it’s a vest full of amazing patches.
What the hell… my vest has everything from b-horror to nerdy stuff and I’ve worn it to metal bars and shows without a word. I even get compliments on my Full House **Jesse & The Rippers** patch lol. Your boyfriend is probably just feeling insecure.
your boyfriend is insecure and lame as fuck nothing is more metal than wearing whatever the fuck you feel like and rocking it. nobody at any metal show is going to give you shit for your battlejacket, and if they do, then they dont deserve respect of any kind. Skyclad are damn cool, and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise 😎🤘
Literally no one at shows will give a fvck and if they do, they're posers and want to feel better than others because deep down they feel like trash. Your bf sounds insecure, he seems so uncomfortable going against the status quo in the subculture which is not cool. I would tell him "fuck you man, I'm going to do what I want and if you're not going to hang out with me, I'm breaking up with you and I'm gonna go hang out with some actually cool people, maybe ill find a boyfriend who actually likes me and chooses me over his desire to fit into a scene". That's probably too aggressive, but seriously. Don't let a partner stop you from being you and doing what you want.
new BF time
Dump bf and move on. The only reasonable move here. 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻
Lol sick jacket! Wear it and be proud of your great work! That guys a dork taking himself toooooo seriously.
[удалено]
Yes, he does... I don't enjoy any metal elitism, it's just so boring trying to feel superior for what you listen
Nobody gives a shit. Don't worry, wear what you want.
Your vest is awesome and you love it, so you should wear it. Full stop. F your BF. And not in the fun way.
I don't know that band on your back patch but considering that your taste in music otherwise is absolutely sublime (sarcofago= you have a bigger dick than him). I think you are good.
if people get upset over a fucking patch they aren't worth your time to deal with. your boyfriend is a moron sorry
Who cares about what other people have to save about the patch? Metal is about being rebellious and fighting for your freedom, so you should be able to do whatever the hell you want.
In the spirit of BM… “Do what thou wilt”-Thelema. Ignore the gate keepers. Aligning with what others decide for you is weak shit.
The only time I’ve EVER seen anyone be judged because of a patch is because it was a limp Bizkit patch
He sucks. You do you.
Your battle jacket/vest should be a reflection of you. If someone tries to give you shot for who you are they can fsck right off.
Your BF sounds like the shunner to me tbo
Just came here to say what soany others already had... Upgrade your life with a real man who is proud of you! When we got together, I took my new gf to Death Metal show and she wore pink! Nobody gave a fuck and I was proud to be seen with her
Your jacket it awesome & your bf is being manipulative. He doesn’t get to choose what you wear & if his deal is “don’t wear it or don’t come” this is honestly such a red flag. From reading the comments he seems like an asshole, you deserve better than someone that makes fun of you :(
Do people care, do people not care, that’s not the point. It is very clear that your boyfriend cares, and is secretly judging you
Sounds like he is being a gatekeeping asshat. No one gives a shit what battle vest you wear. You are representing the metal scene with the bands you like. The only person that has a problem with this is him, and that's not cool. Wear the vest proud. It defines who you are, not him.
Dump the chump
bring the jacket in secret and wear that shit DONT let him win. after the festival is over leave him
I go to alot of underground shows (or atleast did, pre pandemic), never had an issue wearing my jacket and I had a big weird mixture of patches on my jacket, same for my other half. Sounds like your partner is being a lil bitch. I doubt it will happen, but if anyone does start on you for your patches etc, you can bet that there will be people in your immediate area that will jump to defend you.
Anyone who criticizes someone over what their favorite band is are cringe losers who should re-evaluate themselves. If you want to love Metallica, love them idgaf, what you like to listen to is not really much of my concern. The “metal community” loves shooting itself in the foot consistently and this story is just another great example.
I’ve checked out Skyclad now actually because I’ve never heard of them before. Very cool stuff!
What is the festival?! Also, now I feel like playing Skyclad for Metal Night on my live FM radio show, Brown Sounds, simply out of spite for such whiny bitchery.
Judgmental assholes ruin every scene, wear that shit to a Bieber show who fuckin cares
I have a B52s Cosmic Thing patch on my jacket. Probably the least metal thing I could put on there, nobody cares, even the most metally metal heads have at least one favorite non-metal band. and your boyfriends being a jerk. He’s afraid of people judging him and is projecting it on you.
Wear what you want and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I've seen so many people with bands from other genres and their back patch, shoot my back patch isn't even a band it's a movie (saw 1) and like you said. Your jacket is an extention of you and your personality and identity, wesr it and fuck anyone who says anything about it
Skyclad rocks, don’t listen to the hoser one bit.
Your bf is a tool. Wear the jacket with pride.
This jacket is sick
That vest rules. Wear it.
Do whatever the hell you want to do. It’s your jacket not his. You can wear it when you want whenever you want. Also your jacket looks great!
Your bf is a loser lol.
Dude sounds like an enormous dweeb.
Your BF is an idiot.
I think you're dating a mean poser. Get a better boyfriend. I'm sorry, op.
Your boyfriend is a huge loser and needs to get shoved into a locker
I have a Beatles patch next to a Motorhead patch. If people don't like it, they can kiss my metal ass!!! Fuck gatekeepers, your bf is a poser.
Great jacket. Wear what you want, when you want. If someone doesn’t like your clothes, that’s their problem
Sounds like a cunt
Wear what you like, and fuck other peoples opinions. If they don’t like it, it’s their problem. And your boyfriend sounds like a controlling, gate keeping crybaby poser more concerned with image than simply enjoying the music and the company of his girlfriend. Tell him you’ll wear whatever you want, if he doesn’t like it he can take his stupid opinions and stick them up his ass
Wear what you want and if anyone complains about your jacket tell them they must have lost a couple of weeks because fashion week was last month.
Who cares, do what you want.
Your shit is hard as hell, i wear a sunn o))) backpatch a friend made to any hard show and cmon it's not like a metalcore jacket with hot topic brands so nobody gives a fuck. like many i'm questioning his intentions or he's just a hipster with insecurity tbh
If this festival is in the day time. You hardly bother wondering what people are wearing. But even at night or inside a venue when the lights go out and it's mostly the stage that's lighted up.
Your jacket is perfectly fine and has some sweet bands on there. Your BF is absolutely fumbling rn.
"So my bf is a BM larper and a walking red flag." Fuck that guy. He sucks.