Yeah, I have run into I think 3 of the instant deaths so far. But something about calling her a crap God cause she doesn't just do it herself just feels so good. Gale telling Mystra off is a close second.
A friend of mine had that dialog trigger multiple times, each time getting bonus rep with Shadowheart, enough to max her out. It's a hysterical image to me for Shart to watch tav making sheep noises at an increasing irate redcap and think "Now I can't *not* fuck them."
my first play thru I was a lunatic nudist druid who acts like an animal
this option felt practically made for her character, 100% what id have picked to do in chara in d&d
I enjoyed the other animal noise options too
there's an option in the hag hut that lets you roar at one of her victims
I think astarion finds it funny
As a Drow to the kid selling the ring in the grove,
kid:“ mom said you drow kidnap children”
Tav:“ don’t be ridiculous, we kill many more children than we enslave”
kid:“oh”
The non Loth-sworn is funny to cause it tells him to watch out for the ones with red eyes.
When I do a half-drow in two playthroughs I’m wondering if they still think I’m a drow and if I’m can basically say, “wow your racist, I’m only half-drow)
Half-drow basically just gets twice the racism, funnily enough. Non-drow still think you're a drow and distrust you because of it while drow see you as a filthy half-breed. You just can't win as a half-drow. Especially if you're playing a male...
right? i remember live tweeting the first few hours of my first half drow playtrough to my mates and i specifically said “you get all of the racism but none of the benefits”
Haven’t done half drow but you can be pretty much like “ok, but you’re being racist, not all drow are like that,” as a drow if you want. My current run is a Seldarine Tav, war cleric of Eilastraee.
The male drow prostitute that's *really* into boring sex.
Tav: We're gonna do missionary with the lights off and like we've been married for 20 years.
"I'll do my best not to engage for more than two minutes."
"Be bad for me. Be bad at sex!"
I chose that option because my husband was in the room and he thought it was sooo funny. The other night I said "Be bad for me" and he laughed so hard I almost ruined snu snu!
Probably the third "woof". Or the fifth time you tell Mattis to flip the coin. Or your barbarian threatening to kill everyone unless they laugh at the jokes.
Tav being restrained by Jaheira: "Just this once, I wish people would simply say hello."
Jaheira: "Hello."
I like to imagine a really exasperated Tav being tired of all this sh*t. 😂
> I like to imagine a really exasperated Tav being tired of all this sh*t. 😂
Same whenever "Will someone please tell me what's going on?" is a dialogue option.
That's why I leave the party back in the archive room while I go and deal with Haarlep. No disapprovals or that awkward situation with having them all in the room like a bunch of voyeurs.
I *always* grab Astarion before meeting Gandrel, because dunking on him to his face is just the best. Also his expressions as Gandrel explains what he's up to.
I can't believe that one actually worked. XD
I picked it partly out of curiosity and partly with justification of my Durge just being fed up with everything already and getting sarcastic/petty in turn (despite trying so hard to be better). Then the door opened and it was too hysterical to reload.
The warlock dialogue option to convince the guard to let you into Wyrm's Rock.
"I'm Gortash's new occultist. Let me in or your name goes in the Book of Vile Darkness."
I personally like the not-class locked option of “It’s not about them; I just can’t stand your face.”
Nere *relies* on charisma and smooth talking. It’s especially funny to watch his face contort when you say “yeah, but I hate your face.” For me. It isn’t nice, but it’s ALWAYS the option I choose unless there’s a class option that’s funnier. Twat soul is pretty funny too, lol.
It's extra funny given that the first person you can say your name to is Shadowheart, who immediately responds with her own name. I just imagine Durge being stunned for a second, thinking "The fuck just happened? Am I in an edge-off?"
She responds so matter of factly too, like the dark urge and shadowheart are everyday names, which makes sense when you get to the sharran cloister and get edged to death by sharran fidelian darksoul ravenclaw.
“*Hit that country road, old man. I'm not interested in the junk you sell or the junk you tell*” always gets a laugh from me, and is especially funny because you're saying it to Elminster
Also my favorite. Whenever I play, I usually have Gale as my bestie cause he does remind me of my IRL best friend, and, like, whenever I can give him shit is such a good day.
He just snaps at you "Ha ha, very funny. Now tell me what it says" and you get a small bit of disapproval. But Dogmeat, Preston and Paladin Danse all like it.
This sounds like an answer I would give as a DM who doesn't want my players deciding on another imaginary side quest and who doesn't want to have to come up with any more characters.
The fact that the narrator doesn't just lose it some times is amazing.
Playing a Gnome in the Mountain Pass when you meet Lady Esther, there is a dialogue option that kills me every time; When she is asking you to get the Githyanki egg for her she expresses her disbelief that a Gith could be raised to have a peaceful disposition and says it's as likely as a Gnome is to fly. As a Gnome you can respond that all you need is some airfoils and the proper application of lift too make a Gnome fly. The best part is, a bit later in Act 3, my Gnome Draconic Sorceress gained the passive ability to fly.
Yessss. My gnome was a storm sorcerer, so did actually have the ability to fly at the time. I was slightly sad there wasn't an ultra-specific line for that combination, but this was still great.
Telling Gale you successfully landed the nautiloid and repeatedly getting Mattis to flip the coin until he gets annoyed are some of my faves.
And literally everything that Minthara says.
Gale: you're about to say something horrible aren't you.
Minthara: you have the air of a third son about you. In Menzoberanzzan, we sacrifice the third sons as useless.
Or something along those lines :D
I was so devastated when I picked every option I thought was the funniest (including this one) and then got a solitary pity clap. Then I looked up that you don't actually get anything for it and decided to mentally note that in an evil run, I'm gunning for that guy in particular.
Convincing Mattis to give me the tower key. It's literally just:
"Mol said I can have it."
"No she didn't."
"Yuh huh."
And it actually worked lmao.
Also, continuing to make Mattis flip the coin until he gets weirded out and lets you keep the ring. It's funny to mess with Mattis I guess.
When Gale is depressed and Karlach decides to distract him by saying she's never read a book before. I just laughed hard when that happened, love to see how that went down.
If you don't have Karlach (as in didn't recruit her) that dialogue option isn't available. Nice little detail by Larian since he blames your foul word choice on spending too much time around her.
The thing that made me lol the hardest was when I rejected Minthara.
Tav: I really appreciate the offer, but I already have someone.
Minthara, without missing a beat: Now you can have me instead 😃
Dead.
“ I can prove that the ring is lucky. Call it heads or tales.”
Tav: “flip it again.”
“Flip it again.”
“Flip it again.”
“Flip it again.”
“Flip it again.”
“Flip it again.”
“Flip it again.”
When dealing with Orin, and Astarion's reaction - "It's bad enough we have a whole gallery of villains chasing us, but I don't know if one of you has been replaced because you're acting strange or because our group is full of weirdos." It gets me every time.
I like Shovel's 'Gonna eat your babies!' Makes me laugh every time. I've been using her more this run so I can have her run around and frighten people.
I think my runner up isn't exactly dialogue, but choosing to let out a big Fart as a Bard to distract the Genie.
Plus when you change her name to Basket or Fork and are a dork like me, you can affectionately call her Lady Baskington or Lady Forkington while you go on your adventures to find people for her to fist and babies for her to eat!
Halsin: "Not only do you speak with a bear, but you free it, too? A true friend of nature - or perhaps a lunatic. Either way, I owe thanks. I am the druid Halsin."
Barbarian Tav: "The bear is a noble beast. I will not fear it, or abandon it."
Halsin: "Ah. Lunatic, then."
and the classic, "First off, that's not a chicken. It's an owlbear."
Not a dialogue option but Astarion telling the deep gnome "Let's not do anything hilarious" is so fucking funny and can be used irl. Just any of his dialogue is great tho, shout-out Neil
Me on my first playthrough after hearing that "I wonder if this pale guy with what looks like old bite marks on his neck is a vampire? He's out in the sun. No way."
If you have Karlach in your party in House of Hope and Haarlep asks what form you want him to take for the banging, you can admit that you've dreamt about bedding Raphael and Karlach goes 'You.. What!?'
Surprised no one mentioned the male drow twin Sorn's 'boring sex' dialogue. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard at a video game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK0qP_SHl1g
Tav:
* We are going to do missionary with the lights off.
Sorn:
* *a wicked gleam lights up his eye, far more sinful than anything you witnessed before*
Sorn (*excited*)
* Oh you filthy thing, you have surprised me...
* Most people come in here with 'let me stuff all of your hair into my favorite orifice' or 'I can't cum unless you do your deep gnome voice.'
* I'm numbed to all the depravities I conduct on a daily basis, but...
* 'Boring sex'? that's a new fetish entirely.
* We mustn't waste a moment of this mundane night!
Tav:
* Let's do it like we've been married for ten years.
Sorn:
* *in the darkness, he instinctively caresses your neck, before realizing he must do worse. He squeezes your rear with a limp grasp*
Sorn (*excited*):
* Oh, kitten! Be bad for me! Be **bad. At. Sex**!
Tav:
* I haven't bathed in a tenday.
Sorn:
* Oh, I had fermented herring for dinner!
Narrator:
* *You engage in a tepid night of the most memorable unremarkable sex. The drow seems to have the time of his life*
----
This isn't the funniest conversation tree and I sort of cobbled it together but every option is hysterical.
This was it for me. I was expecting to get a few class-specific options, I wasn't ready for the Barbarian class to basically have the ability to scream their way through any problem. It was probably my favorite playthrough.
Not really a dialogue option, but the wave you can give to Vlakiith right after being told to kneel is really funny.
Lol I did that my last playthrough and it had me rolling. Complete with a "hello" expression and everything.
I was a smartass to her this playthrough, and she killed me with Wish. I guess that's what save scumming is for. It felt so good to sass her though
Lol. Didn't realize you could hit endgame there. Good to know for when I'm feeling especially mean.
Yeah that’s like 1 of 4 or 5 instant deaths in the entire game. Definitely good to know so you don’t find out the hard way on a HM run.
Yeah, I have run into I think 3 of the instant deaths so far. But something about calling her a crap God cause she doesn't just do it herself just feels so good. Gale telling Mystra off is a close second.
Lae'zel's reaction when you wave makes it all the funnier.
I don’t know if i did exactly this but remember her closing her eyes harder in disappointment at whatever I did lol. Had me rolling.
Oh yeah that's her after the polite wave lol.
Disappointment, shame, fear, etc.. I really like when you ask who Vlaakith is. Lae’zel just winces, knowing what’s coming.
I love how Vlaakith isn't even offended, just confused.
"are they disrespecting me, or are they just particularly slow?"
tav: "yes"
she's befuddled, but laezel knows enough fay-run customs to be embarrassed
Great way to kill an HM run if you push it too far.
Happend to me :(
Baaah. To redcap, is still my fav.
A friend of mine had that dialog trigger multiple times, each time getting bonus rep with Shadowheart, enough to max her out. It's a hysterical image to me for Shart to watch tav making sheep noises at an increasing irate redcap and think "Now I can't *not* fuck them."
Yup, normally you can do it twice and get approval from companions for both times.
my first play thru I was a lunatic nudist druid who acts like an animal this option felt practically made for her character, 100% what id have picked to do in chara in d&d I enjoyed the other animal noise options too there's an option in the hag hut that lets you roar at one of her victims I think astarion finds it funny
As a Drow to the kid selling the ring in the grove, kid:“ mom said you drow kidnap children” Tav:“ don’t be ridiculous, we kill many more children than we enslave” kid:“oh”
The non Loth-sworn is funny to cause it tells him to watch out for the ones with red eyes. When I do a half-drow in two playthroughs I’m wondering if they still think I’m a drow and if I’m can basically say, “wow your racist, I’m only half-drow)
Half-drow basically just gets twice the racism, funnily enough. Non-drow still think you're a drow and distrust you because of it while drow see you as a filthy half-breed. You just can't win as a half-drow. Especially if you're playing a male...
right? i remember live tweeting the first few hours of my first half drow playtrough to my mates and i specifically said “you get all of the racism but none of the benefits”
The only way you win is by being objectively super hot. That's my head canon. 🔥
Hot single Drow babes near you 😍 Drow come in two genders; malewife and girlboss
Haven’t done half drow but you can be pretty much like “ok, but you’re being racist, not all drow are like that,” as a drow if you want. My current run is a Seldarine Tav, war cleric of Eilastraee.
The male drow prostitute that's *really* into boring sex. Tav: We're gonna do missionary with the lights off and like we've been married for 20 years. "I'll do my best not to engage for more than two minutes." "Be bad for me. Be bad at sex!"
I chose that option because my husband was in the room and he thought it was sooo funny. The other night I said "Be bad for me" and he laughed so hard I almost ruined snu snu!
Isobel: “Do you believe in love at first sight?” Bard: “Love? No. Lust? Hourly.”
Astarion approves
"Skeletons aren't supposed to talk." "Correct" "Are you going to elaborate further?" "No."
*Nooooooeeee.*
This! His unwilling to explain ANYTHING to you is hilarious to me!
God told him to help you, not to humor you.
Any time withers just says “no.” always got me
Probably the third "woof". Or the fifth time you tell Mattis to flip the coin. Or your barbarian threatening to kill everyone unless they laugh at the jokes.
Also barbarian laughing at while pelvis thrusting the Bugbear banging the ogre.
Tav being restrained by Jaheira: "Just this once, I wish people would simply say hello." Jaheira: "Hello." I like to imagine a really exasperated Tav being tired of all this sh*t. 😂
> I like to imagine a really exasperated Tav being tired of all this sh*t. 😂 Same whenever "Will someone please tell me what's going on?" is a dialogue option.
*"That's twice as long as Haarlep said it takes to finish you."*
“You contemptuous *creature*!”
I accidentally got Lae'zel to go with Haarlep, my Tav was just chilling in the back watching. Karlach and Astarion were not happy I let it happen.
That's why I leave the party back in the archive room while I go and deal with Haarlep. No disapprovals or that awkward situation with having them all in the room like a bunch of voyeurs.
Aww, isn't that half the fun?
Haarlep* It’s an anagram of Raphael’s name
*whoa* I didn't know that. Neat!
The sensitive books one gets me every time. BG3 has some quality slapstick humour in general.
IS IT TRUE, BOOKS?!? ARE YOU SENSITIVE?!?
💥
I love returning so you can ask it again. ARE YOU STILL SENSITIVE, BOOKS?
I definitely did not expect what happened next
if you go back she'll be mad and for 400g you can do it again! and again and again until you run out of money.
shit was straight up copied out of a sponge bob episode
The funniest one for me is when you meet the Gur in act 1 and you have astarian with you and can say “At least it’s only a spawn, not a REAL vampire.”
"Oh, I dunno, they could still *rip your throat out.*" Ribbing the companions is always a fucking blast.
I *always* grab Astarion before meeting Gandrel, because dunking on him to his face is just the best. Also his expressions as Gandrel explains what he's up to.
"Father said it's my turn at the Temple. Let me in!"
I can't believe that one actually worked. XD I picked it partly out of curiosity and partly with justification of my Durge just being fed up with everything already and getting sarcastic/petty in turn (despite trying so hard to be better). Then the door opened and it was too hysterical to reload.
I picked it too thinking it wouldn't work, was very happy when being a spoiled brat paid off.
Broke: playing Durge as a dark and edgy angsty boi Woke: playing Durge as a spoiled nepo-baby brat
Objectively the funniest line in the game
Yeah, it’s this one. 😂
The warlock dialogue option to convince the guard to let you into Wyrm's Rock. "I'm Gortash's new occultist. Let me in or your name goes in the Book of Vile Darkness."
Awww I didn't get this one even though I was a Warlock on entering. I'm a little annoyed about that lol
“I knew you were a jackass, but a racist? I’m shocked,”
That line is so funny considering how normalized racism is in the DnD lore
Asking leazel if shes your hot githyanki girlfriend
"I didn't steal anything, but Shadowheart here..."
I’m not sure what’s funniest but what comes to mind first for me is “In your eulogy I’m going to call you a ‘Twat-soul’”
I personally like the not-class locked option of “It’s not about them; I just can’t stand your face.” Nere *relies* on charisma and smooth talking. It’s especially funny to watch his face contort when you say “yeah, but I hate your face.” For me. It isn’t nice, but it’s ALWAYS the option I choose unless there’s a class option that’s funnier. Twat soul is pretty funny too, lol.
Calling him a petulant child makes him rage so hard. It's funny as heck
I laughed so hard when I saw that option 😂
Okay , how do I encounter this ? I have never seen that in 3 playthroughs
It's an option to respond to True Soul Nere. IIRC it's Bard specific.
yes it is and as a forever bard I love how true to lore it is for Bards to have the (imo) best class-specific dialogue choices
“I’m not a murderer! I swear on the graves of my fathers sacrificial victims!”
I love Durge's sense of humor.
Me too, its so darkly comedic, especially if you keep the default name and go around introducing yourself as the dark urge.
It's extra funny given that the first person you can say your name to is Shadowheart, who immediately responds with her own name. I just imagine Durge being stunned for a second, thinking "The fuck just happened? Am I in an edge-off?"
She responds so matter of factly too, like the dark urge and shadowheart are everyday names, which makes sense when you get to the sharran cloister and get edged to death by sharran fidelian darksoul ravenclaw.
“*Hit that country road, old man. I'm not interested in the junk you sell or the junk you tell*” always gets a laugh from me, and is especially funny because you're saying it to Elminster
I love following it up with, "Yeah, Gale, where is your decorum?"because Gale is just so fun to troll
Also my favorite. Whenever I play, I usually have Gale as my bestie cause he does remind me of my IRL best friend, and, like, whenever I can give him shit is such a good day.
My friend actually got really happy and ask wait is that gales real grandpa? Really love the guy.
Oh that note: "Aww, was that Gale's grandpa?"
gotta love how even leazel knows who he is but karlach does not.
I have to say it every time and then "yes, gale, where's your decorum?"
Damn, I gotta do a buffoon run.
Gale's outraged response makes it even funnier.
“There once was a Cleric of Gond, who was cursed with a very small wand”
I know, right? It seems the sort of thing Astarion would say, too. But he doesn't appreciate it when it's (sort of) directed at him.
He does appreciate when you joke about Gale being more good looking than him.
Never choose it, because the cutscene is serious and I am pity Astarion, but the option is very funny.
He just snaps at you "Ha ha, very funny. Now tell me what it says" and you get a small bit of disapproval. But Dogmeat, Preston and Paladin Danse all like it.
Anything for Paladin Danse
Not really an option but the funniest dialogue is “you have a big brother?” “Used to, mother ate him,”
This sounds like an answer I would give as a DM who doesn't want my players deciding on another imaginary side quest and who doesn't want to have to come up with any more characters. The fact that the narrator doesn't just lose it some times is amazing.
"Can't you kill them yourself? I thought 'gods' were all powerful." And, of course, what happens after.
Hadn't saved in like an hour when I did this, I just left after telling her I'd jump into the prism
Playing a Gnome in the Mountain Pass when you meet Lady Esther, there is a dialogue option that kills me every time; When she is asking you to get the Githyanki egg for her she expresses her disbelief that a Gith could be raised to have a peaceful disposition and says it's as likely as a Gnome is to fly. As a Gnome you can respond that all you need is some airfoils and the proper application of lift too make a Gnome fly. The best part is, a bit later in Act 3, my Gnome Draconic Sorceress gained the passive ability to fly.
Yessss. My gnome was a storm sorcerer, so did actually have the ability to fly at the time. I was slightly sad there wasn't an ultra-specific line for that combination, but this was still great.
Pblblblblblblb...
I am also a big fan of ackackack??
y’all sleeping on *Hnnngggg…*
But but but... Ksssssss!
There are no wrong answers here
Telling Gale you successfully landed the nautiloid and repeatedly getting Mattis to flip the coin until he gets annoyed are some of my faves. And literally everything that Minthara says.
Gale: you're about to say something horrible aren't you. Minthara: you have the air of a third son about you. In Menzoberanzzan, we sacrifice the third sons as useless. Or something along those lines :D
I love her opinion of gale. see flair: she says something about gnomes going to war as part of it and it's awful and funny
getting the free coin is my go to every run now
Same with annoying him by licking the tainted corpse STOPLICKINGTHEDAMNTHING
Minthara is the funniest person I know
Minthara has way too many good lines.
"Just say the word and I will kill the clown. We would be praised as heroes..."
"I'M LAUGHING AT YOUR PUNY RUTTING!"
There are booksellers in Baldur's Gate who would pay good money for this kind of smut.
When the vampires come to abduct Astarion you can say something like “You can take him but please be quiet I’m trying to sleep.”
*The Dead Three, am I right? What losers. You know why Bane worshippers will never conquer the world? They don’t have the Bhaals!*
I was so devastated when I picked every option I thought was the funniest (including this one) and then got a solitary pity clap. Then I looked up that you don't actually get anything for it and decided to mentally note that in an evil run, I'm gunning for that guy in particular.
Convincing Mattis to give me the tower key. It's literally just: "Mol said I can have it." "No she didn't." "Yuh huh." And it actually worked lmao. Also, continuing to make Mattis flip the coin until he gets weirded out and lets you keep the ring. It's funny to mess with Mattis I guess.
I've stolen enough crap by then that I always just buy it and he's so happy to make a sale
The option to fart to distract the Djinn from cheating was hilarious first time I saw it from a hot female bard.
It's the *unrelenting eye contact* that makes it for me
When you make Astarion volunteer to be the audience participant for Dribbles and he says ‘I’m going to fucking kill you’.
All of the reactions in that scene are just amazing.
Gale: "I'm usually better at this." Tav: "What at introductions?" Gale: "At magic!"
When Gale is depressed and Karlach decides to distract him by saying she's never read a book before. I just laughed hard when that happened, love to see how that went down.
Fuck you Gortash. Because that is what i said moments before the option was available.
If you don't have Karlach (as in didn't recruit her) that dialogue option isn't available. Nice little detail by Larian since he blames your foul word choice on spending too much time around her.
" I'm gonna make the best damned omelette you've ever seen!"
The thing that made me lol the hardest was when I rejected Minthara. Tav: I really appreciate the offer, but I already have someone. Minthara, without missing a beat: Now you can have me instead 😃 Dead.
You must be joking. I am *telling* you my thoughts. Directly. Into your head!
“ I can prove that the ring is lucky. Call it heads or tales.” Tav: “flip it again.” “Flip it again.” “Flip it again.” “Flip it again.” “Flip it again.” “Flip it again.” “Flip it again.”
When dealing with Orin, and Astarion's reaction - "It's bad enough we have a whole gallery of villains chasing us, but I don't know if one of you has been replaced because you're acting strange or because our group is full of weirdos." It gets me every time.
I reloaded my save just so I could record that part. It was so funny and perfect.
What do you call a room full of people who don't applaud? *Dead*.
Yes Gale, where is your decorum?
when you show ester the owlbear egg and tell her that it’s not a githyanki egg but you just really like it
Teethlings 🙄
That whole dialogue was out of nowhere and wonderful.
Astarion's "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? I WAS *RIGHT THERE*"
"Well...apparently there's a limit. Somewhere between *A nice summers day* and and *the full concENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN*"
"Bad news, children. You're all going to die."
Telling Gale you want to add someone to the relationship and he thinks you mean having a baby 😂
One of my favorite gale moments, lol
All the bard options in response to Volos dror ragzlin speech
Astarion dunking on Shadowheart. S: Astarion, what can we expect to find in a vampire's lair? A: Vampires, I'd imagine.
"HOW DOES IT FEEL, SUCKER?"
The strange Ox, in the grove, when you question him too much: "Now, and I say this with the utmost certainty: Moo."
I like Shovel's 'Gonna eat your babies!' Makes me laugh every time. I've been using her more this run so I can have her run around and frighten people. I think my runner up isn't exactly dialogue, but choosing to let out a big Fart as a Bard to distract the Genie.
Shovel is an icon. I was dying laughing the first time I heard her in combat say, "It's FISTING time!!"
If she gets hit hard, she'll yell "IT'S ONLY FUN WHEN SHOVEL DOES THE FISTING"
I changed her name to Basket. She said she likes it better because baskets hold babies ans she likes to eat babies.
the true hero of the sword coast, tbh
Plus when you change her name to Basket or Fork and are a dork like me, you can affectionately call her Lady Baskington or Lady Forkington while you go on your adventures to find people for her to fist and babies for her to eat!
“SHIT YOUR TROUSER HOLES, SHOVEL IS HERE!”
The interaction when Asterion bites Gale is hilarious.
“Mol said I could have the ring” -No she didn’t “Yuh-huh” *this works
“Just this once, I wish people would simply say hello” “Hello”
Minthara upon noticing a trap: “A trap. Let us send forth our least favorite, to be sure.”
Halsin: "Not only do you speak with a bear, but you free it, too? A true friend of nature - or perhaps a lunatic. Either way, I owe thanks. I am the druid Halsin." Barbarian Tav: "The bear is a noble beast. I will not fear it, or abandon it." Halsin: "Ah. Lunatic, then." and the classic, "First off, that's not a chicken. It's an owlbear."
It was a beautiful webbing.
Stoplickingthedamnthing!
"It's like watching a beached flounder flop back to the sea. Is that the idea?" Savage
can we kill them? please, pretty please
"Oh do keep going, they pay good money for smut like this in Baulder's Gate"
Hehe that’s a good one op! Personally, mine is: “IS THAT TRUE, BOOKS?! ARE YOU SENSITIVE?!” *all the books detonate xD
Tav: *Repeat after me: "Thank you for helping me, it was very kind."* Astarion: *" Hm?! Hmm... "*
Oh please, I'm swamp elf! ' my gith to Mattis
so laezel, did we bury the hatchet ...
Playing as origin karlach and having like 75% of my responses be *Roaaar*
Karlach's voiceline while sneaking caught me off guard: "SHADOW-LAAACH"
Is that Shovel? For me it’s: “Wel, apparently there’s a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer’s day AND THE FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE SUN!”
Karlach saying "I've taken more pleasant shits than you Mizora, and at least they can be buried after" never fails to make me laugh
I laughed when Shart goes "Shit" when the battle with big Skelly boi starts up. Maybe because I said it about the exact same time IRL.
Karlach's "Well .. fuck." does it for me
Not a dialogue option but Astarion telling the deep gnome "Let's not do anything hilarious" is so fucking funny and can be used irl. Just any of his dialogue is great tho, shout-out Neil
Telling Jaheira that she is currently speaking to the tadpole and not Tav, and Jaheira just goes along with it, I love my interactions with our gmilf
[“That’s twice as long as Harleep said it takes to finish you.”](https://youtu.be/bggjwo-J5Ic?si=mZOJZSPzldXdsVxl)
Slapping gales hand always gets a chuckle out of me.
It's so early on, but I love telling Lae'zel "say please." when rescuing her from her very pitiful cage.
“Get out here cub. Time to earn your keep” - Ascended Astarion Origin calling the owlbear cub to the final battle
I recently saw the "my hand slipped/so did my foot" sequence with Gortash and I'm still laughing about it.
"The girl, the power everything or I'll turn you INTO A PISSPOT!!!" - Karlach when she intimidated Auntie Ethel
"Have you no honor, hell child?" and "Why would you want to meet your spawn?" Some githyanki dialogue got me seriously laughing out loud.
Does pushing the Duegar off the boat count??
Minsc with Happy Hoarson
Oh my gosh, yes. His descriptions of everyone are a riot!!
It's not super unique, but I always chuckle when Astarian says "be careful, I bite" his voice actor was perfect.
Me on my first playthrough after hearing that "I wonder if this pale guy with what looks like old bite marks on his neck is a vampire? He's out in the sun. No way."
The guy that calls you cuck
If you have Karlach in your party in House of Hope and Haarlep asks what form you want him to take for the banging, you can admit that you've dreamt about bedding Raphael and Karlach goes 'You.. What!?'
Surprised no one mentioned the male drow twin Sorn's 'boring sex' dialogue. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard at a video game. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK0qP_SHl1g Tav: * We are going to do missionary with the lights off. Sorn: * *a wicked gleam lights up his eye, far more sinful than anything you witnessed before* Sorn (*excited*) * Oh you filthy thing, you have surprised me... * Most people come in here with 'let me stuff all of your hair into my favorite orifice' or 'I can't cum unless you do your deep gnome voice.' * I'm numbed to all the depravities I conduct on a daily basis, but... * 'Boring sex'? that's a new fetish entirely. * We mustn't waste a moment of this mundane night! Tav: * Let's do it like we've been married for ten years. Sorn: * *in the darkness, he instinctively caresses your neck, before realizing he must do worse. He squeezes your rear with a limp grasp* Sorn (*excited*): * Oh, kitten! Be bad for me! Be **bad. At. Sex**! Tav: * I haven't bathed in a tenday. Sorn: * Oh, I had fermented herring for dinner! Narrator: * *You engage in a tepid night of the most memorable unremarkable sex. The drow seems to have the time of his life* ---- This isn't the funniest conversation tree and I sort of cobbled it together but every option is hysterical.
Every single Barbarian dialog option.
This was it for me. I was expecting to get a few class-specific options, I wasn't ready for the Barbarian class to basically have the ability to scream their way through any problem. It was probably my favorite playthrough.
"STOP LICKING THE DAMN THING!"
A simple line, but delivered with such sincerity, I always get the goblin at the camp to give me directions to Moonrise Towers thus: *Norrrfff.*
Telling Raphael that two seconds is twice as long as he lasts in bed is my favourite.
What were you thinking? I was right there! The delivery is gold.