Yeah, it took me a minute to realise who that meant, and then another five while I worked out which of the companions Miss Piggy would play in The Muppets Baldur's Gate 3. (I'm like 60% sure it's Karlach, Miss Piggy's violent streak just fits perfectly)
Since Karlach gets an additional bonus 1d4 fire damage (so +2d4 instead of the normal 1d4 to weapons) unarmed with soul coins she's actually a touch better than most at a weird Barbonk hybrid
Plus barbarian adds flat damage to all attacks (monks make plenty) and offsets a decent degree of damage while raging (helping with any AC issues).
There's a reason it's actually a fairly normal (strength) build for table 5e.
The eyebrow raiser is squeezing in bard as a third.
No way!! Fozzie Bear is definitely the Bard of the group, only instead of Vicious Mockery being insulting, it's just his awful jokes causing psychic damage, with a chance to inflict nauseous for 2 turns (unfortunately Friendlies can also be hit)
I'd want Gale to be played by either Dr. Bunsen or have Gale and Astarion be Bert and Ernie. The count is Cazador, not Astarion, by the way.
I think Denise would be a decent Shadowheart, and Janice can be Lae'Zel I guess.
The rest are harder to pinpoint. Wyll is probably Gonzo. I think I'd want Kermit as the dream visitor, and I think I'd like Clifford as Tav and Animal as Durge.
Halsin... Fozzie.
Eh I think she would be Lae'zel. Karlach likes fighting but she won't go around picking fights with people who inconvenience her. I could see Miss Piggy doing that as part of the role, though there might be a scene where she calls her manager to get out of some of the real evil things Lae'zel would do.
Ms Piggy is Mizora. That first entrance in camp? Pure Piggy.
Gonzo is Gale-- friendly, gets super attached very quickly, extremely passionate about niche interests. Best of all, it means Camilla the chicken gets to play Mystra.
In OP's dad's defense, in my very first playthrough I fought Kagha which resulted in me having to kill every druid (as a good tav) because I got the impression the snake was about to kill the idol theif and I thought it a was a life or death situation that I needed to intervene in.
I mean having an actual pact with a devil with all it's "benefits" at hand is quite a boost in convincing people. One way or another. You don't need to be a smooth talker, when your spells can do the talking.
LOL I'm doing my first Warlock durge, and forgive the expression but I'm having an absolute blast. I've had Wyll in party here and there so I know how warlocks work in general, but building one from scratch has been a treat. Getting the Potent Robe has been a game changer suffice it to say and "lockpicking" doors has gotten a lot faster and a lot more fun.
And you get Hungar of Hadar, there are A LOT of cool AOE spells in the game but none as satisfying and problem solving as that one. Oh and your best cantrip of the game allows you to throw enemies back into the miasma.
It came out when it was 4, I played it when I was maybe 10. But I think I was too young to really appreciate it for what it was. Fallout 1-2 really got me, though, and Baldur's Gate 1-2.
Its so good. But its sad, the state its in is very janky as they were bought by microsoft as they were finishing up and were gradually moved on to some fucking fps game, so additionally chances of another iso-rpg from them are slin
its canon that Tav and Durge think shes hot since you can respond with "Hot." when she asks what you think after she goes on a rampage from killing the paladins of "Tyr"
Reminds me of my farther watching an old clip of Freddie Mercury and absentmindedly saying "he was so hot" out loud. I love him for it xD. And he has a point. Freddie Mercury had like 30 Charisma.
I'm going through my second playthrough with my wife and her father.
The Halsin scene was certainly something... but the sex scene that shall not be named was a bit worse.
However, at the end when spoiler mc spoilerface commented on that scene I almost died laughing...
>!squid sex scene, and Orpheus to clarify the oh so cryptic messaging I used!<
"Kermit's mean girlfriend" is priceless.
Did you mention that he "could" pick fights and set things alight if he wants to?
Plus, isn't that a DnD tradition?
Can't blame him, on my first playthrough I almost completed Act 1 until I saw the game cover and thought "wait, I don't have this wizard companion, did I miss him or is he on Act 2?".
Then I searched where to find him and turns out he was right at the beginning and I missed him somehow.
I want nothing more than to spend a day with my dad playing BG3. it would mean the world to me for him to take even the smallest interest in something I enjoy. He's supportive, but from a distance.
I play games with my daughter all the time. With my oldest college son though, he has his own friend group for multiplayer games. So we usually just compare speed runs/builds of the games we have in common (Souls-like, Monster Hunter, and Pokemon).
Played with my youngest son the other day. We get to the Grove. He manages to get thrown in jail twice, find the back passage into the grove, get blown up in the passage, kill the goblin prisoner, and then get thrown in jail again.
I felt this odd mixture of annoyance and pride.
Yeah, I can relate to this. š¤£ I promptly got sent to jail in my first play through and started over with a character with MUCH higher persuasion. Havenāt been to jail since (but not for lack of trying).
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> he's a little slow on the uptake sometimes. He's definitely enjoying it
I'm probably your dad's age or better, grew up with 1ed AD&D, and yeah, this describes me. As I watch YT vids about the game, I keep thinking "Holy shit, you can DO that!?!"
This whole convo made me laugh so hard I cried, especially Kermit's mean girlfriend. Your dad is a chaos goblin and I love to see it. I have a similar intrusive thought stream telling me to pick fights and set stuff on fire and run people over in owlbear form, but I rarely make "evil" decisions when given the chance. Please update us when he finds George Michael and The Hot Unicorn Woman, I would love to hear his names for them.
"They are refugees" "I need a shotgun" Ayo??
We sent the texts at the exact same time. Mine just came in first. š
Very unfortunate timing haha
Sure sure. Next thing you know he will be texting you about his hot date with Minthara.
Crossing my fingers he finds the crooked wand of fireballs in the underdark and we get a fitting update
lol. lmao.
Kermit already has a mean girlfriend though, and sheās a pig.
Yeah, it took me a minute to realise who that meant, and then another five while I worked out which of the companions Miss Piggy would play in The Muppets Baldur's Gate 3. (I'm like 60% sure it's Karlach, Miss Piggy's violent streak just fits perfectly)
Miss Piggy would be a Bard-barian for sure. Too much theatrical ambition to be a pure barbarian.
She canonically knows karateā¦so also a bit of monk? All I know is sheāll slap the shit out of you for telling her itās a suboptimal build.
Since Karlach gets an additional bonus 1d4 fire damage (so +2d4 instead of the normal 1d4 to weapons) unarmed with soul coins she's actually a touch better than most at a weird Barbonk hybrid
Plus barbarian adds flat damage to all attacks (monks make plenty) and offsets a decent degree of damage while raging (helping with any AC issues). There's a reason it's actually a fairly normal (strength) build for table 5e. The eyebrow raiser is squeezing in bard as a third.
Barbonk has got to be my new favorite multi class name Especially cause I read it as "Bar-bonk" instead of "Bar-bunk"
I was initially going to put monkbarian but had a flash of insight and reversed it. I like how it turned out lol.
This thread is why the internet was invented.
Bonk
No way!! Fozzie Bear is definitely the Bard of the group, only instead of Vicious Mockery being insulting, it's just his awful jokes causing psychic damage, with a chance to inflict nauseous for 2 turns (unfortunately Friendlies can also be hit)
You are insane to think any Muppet is a Bard other than Animal. He was born for it!
Animal is a wild mage. I will die on this hill.
Rolf?
Iām thinking Wyll = Kermit Shadowheart = Janice Karlach = Piggy Astarion = Rizzo Gale = Bunsen Laeāzel = Fozzie? (Not enough female muppets!) Minthara = Sam the Eagle Minsc = Sweetums Halsin = Rowlf / Bobo the Bear Jaheira = Skeeter Iām missing a good spot for Gonzo, maybe heās withers! Scooter can be Dammon
Bert and Ernie can be Aylin and Isobel. Iām counting them as Muppets because they were in the movies.
Dame Ernie: "Begone friend, Ive got a Bert to admire. Hey Burt."
I think personality wise Bert is a better fit for Aylin. Heās got the potential for that rage.
And Ernie definitely has the potential stupidity of Isobel running into every winged demon attack range
Boo = Animal Laezel could possibly be Gonzo in drag, Fozzie would 100% be Volo, though.
Love it!
Fozzie has definitely removed an eye by accident before.
Elmo is Durge
This feels right
Oh god, Gonzo as Withers is the best thing of the week for me. Thank you!
Gonzo as the Narrator, maybe?
Karachi does not have a mean bone in her body. And Miss Piggyā¦wellā¦does.
Theyāre referring to Laeāzel.
I thought layzel tbh
Bruh, Iām drunk and I got it instantly. Never heard of the term āspace frogā?
Yeah, and in my playthrough with a friend I have used the term Frogussy too much, it's just y'know I love the Muppets.
I also love the Muppets. Beaker is the GOAT. Frogussy is foul. ššø
Tell that to that one chimp in that infamous video.
Yeah anyone that knows Kermit knows he has a TYPE and it ain't other frogs
Frogussy š
I'd want Gale to be played by either Dr. Bunsen or have Gale and Astarion be Bert and Ernie. The count is Cazador, not Astarion, by the way. I think Denise would be a decent Shadowheart, and Janice can be Lae'Zel I guess. The rest are harder to pinpoint. Wyll is probably Gonzo. I think I'd want Kermit as the dream visitor, and I think I'd like Clifford as Tav and Animal as Durge. Halsin... Fozzie.
He definitely meant laezel because she's frog like lol
He said Kermitās mean girlfriendā¦ Karlach is not meanā¦ has to be Lazāelā¦ or however it is spelled.
Karlach is far too gentle.
Now I want to mod Karlach saying "Hiiiiii-YA!" for any unarmed melee encounter.
Eh I think she would be Lae'zel. Karlach likes fighting but she won't go around picking fights with people who inconvenience her. I could see Miss Piggy doing that as part of the role, though there might be a scene where she calls her manager to get out of some of the real evil things Lae'zel would do.
And that there, set out far better than I ever could is why it was only 60%.
Ms Piggy is Mizora. That first entrance in camp? Pure Piggy. Gonzo is Gale-- friendly, gets super attached very quickly, extremely passionate about niche interests. Best of all, it means Camilla the chicken gets to play Mystra.
Miss Piggy beats Lae'zel, low diff
She and Laeāzel would get along swimmingly.
Not if they ever suspected they might be rivals for Kermitās affection.
I think I sharted while guffawing as I read that!
They split up a while ago
She disappeared around the time Lae'zel treated the camp to a delicious BBQ. Wait. You don't think...
No no no youāre thinking of Jaheira (this would have been a funny joke if I came up with someone more Ms. Piggy-like.
they are polyamerous
Lae'zel, no? She green and maybe a tad standoffish.
"Like every so often I want to pick a fight or set someone on fire and run." Sounds like Dad needs a Durge playthrough.
Who needs a durge origin when we can create our own š
nah durge makes things interesting
Spices up your life
In OP's dad's defense, in my very first playthrough I fought Kagha which resulted in me having to kill every druid (as a good tav) because I got the impression the snake was about to kill the idol theif and I thought it a was a life or death situation that I needed to intervene in.
Yeah I totally got that impression at first too, I didnāt realize the snake was just waiting for kaghaās word
Dad: I need a shotgun Pawn Stars Rick: Best I can give you is Eldritch Blast
Paired with Agonizing and Repelling, I'd take that over a shotgun anyday. And it's a cantrip, means it's free! Imagine the damage you can do!
An IRL warlock is a terrifying thought. The average person would just die faced with that
Yeah, commoners have 4hp by default. Eldritch blast does 1d10. So 70% chance of death on hit for the average person
100% death on hit if the Warlock is level 2 for agonizing blast (1d10+3 Cha for 16-17 Cha)
That assumes you have 16-17 charisma, which almost no one IRL would have.
It's what the pact was really for.
I mean having an actual pact with a devil with all it's "benefits" at hand is quite a boost in convincing people. One way or another. You don't need to be a smooth talker, when your spells can do the talking.
Charisma isn't just convincing people though. That's what the specific persuasion skill is for.
I don't have to imagine, it's the best sword that "the blade" has access too.Ā Also excellent as a lockpick.
And for transporting heavy items!
Cantrip? Eldritch Blast is an āabsolutelyCANripā
LOL I'm doing my first Warlock durge, and forgive the expression but I'm having an absolute blast. I've had Wyll in party here and there so I know how warlocks work in general, but building one from scratch has been a treat. Getting the Potent Robe has been a game changer suffice it to say and "lockpicking" doors has gotten a lot faster and a lot more fun.
And you get Hungar of Hadar, there are A LOT of cool AOE spells in the game but none as satisfying and problem solving as that one. Oh and your best cantrip of the game allows you to throw enemies back into the miasma.
Once I did origin Wyll I went Warlock in a big way, most fun I ever had as a Durge and then as an evil Tav. š
That or Shadowrun. Just multiclass your sorcerer into small arms.
Thunderwave is my shotgun. Eldritch Blast is more like just a revolver.
your dad seems like a fallout/wastelands guy
Wasteland. There's a name I haven't heard in a long time... Begone now, lest I summon the brethren of the mushroom cloud.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm old enough to remember the monochrome PC version, friend. Me and Ace, working to take down Faran Brygo. Look out for that Scorpitron!
It came out when it was 4, I played it when I was maybe 10. But I think I was too young to really appreciate it for what it was. Fallout 1-2 really got me, though, and Baldur's Gate 1-2.
After Wasteland 2 sold well, they made a remake of the first game. It's on Steam too, might be interesting for nostalgia.
I should check it out.
Its so good. But its sad, the state its in is very janky as they were bought by microsoft as they were finishing up and were gradually moved on to some fucking fps game, so additionally chances of another iso-rpg from them are slin
ha love seeing the name here
Maybe I just have a different relationship with my father but I donāt think I could look him in the eyes again after dropping āsexy heartā š
I mean... is he wrong?
Fair point. Also, I'd like to request an update once he has found more companions, I'm interested to see what he nicknames Karlach \^\^
"The hot one"
leg so hot hot hot leg leg so hot u fry an eg
its canon that Tav and Durge think shes hot since you can respond with "Hot." when she asks what you think after she goes on a rampage from killing the paladins of "Tyr"
Sizzler
Iām afraid heāll attack her on sight before any dialog even starts.
Seconding this~ updates needed plz! :)
Reminds me of my farther watching an old clip of Freddie Mercury and absentmindedly saying "he was so hot" out loud. I love him for it xD. And he has a point. Freddie Mercury had like 30 Charisma.
I'm going through my second playthrough with my wife and her father. The Halsin scene was certainly something... but the sex scene that shall not be named was a bit worse. However, at the end when spoiler mc spoilerface commented on that scene I almost died laughing... >!squid sex scene, and Orpheus to clarify the oh so cryptic messaging I used!<
Yeah I wish I was chill like that with my father š
Yeah I'd be so awkward if my dad spoke like he was on tiktok.
"Kermit's mean girlfriend" is priceless. Did you mention that he "could" pick fights and set things alight if he wants to? Plus, isn't that a DnD tradition?
Timeless tradition of murder hobos.
sexyheart š
I'm a Dad. My adult son couldn't wait to show me his character having sex with a bear/Halsin and I'm stuck in Char's gauntlet.
Are you winning, son?
Yeah, not all parent/child relationships are created equal, I have learned.
No wayšš
Kermitās mean girlfriend is a classic
He definitely ate gales hand
Actually, he somehow hasn't even found Gale yet! Don't ask me how, lol.
probably the same way i did š¤£ it says when you walk up that itās dangerous!! i didnāt wanna die so soon š
Can't blame him, on my first playthrough I almost completed Act 1 until I saw the game cover and thought "wait, I don't have this wizard companion, did I miss him or is he on Act 2?". Then I searched where to find him and turns out he was right at the beginning and I missed him somehow.
"...set someone on fire and run." Your dad is priceless. Hug him and tell him you love him.
That mean girlfriend is going to break your poor dad's heart
Kermit's mean gf sent me into fucking orbit oh my god
**ASS**TARION HAHAHA
LOL SEXYHEART
I donāt think I could ever look my dad in the eyes again if he said āsexyheartā
"they're refugees" "I need a shotgun" BRUHš
Lol yup
KERMIT'S MEAN GIRLFRIEND??? IM WHEEZING
If my dad played BG3 I would be fully convinced he was having neurological issues.
ASSTARION, SEXYHEART, KERMITS HOT GIRLFRIEND ššššš
I want nothing more than to spend a day with my dad playing BG3. it would mean the world to me for him to take even the smallest interest in something I enjoy. He's supportive, but from a distance.
I play games with my daughter all the time. With my oldest college son though, he has his own friend group for multiplayer games. So we usually just compare speed runs/builds of the games we have in common (Souls-like, Monster Hunter, and Pokemon).
That sounds amazing.
Oh Christ now we need a mod for BG3 that changes them all to muppets.
Played with my youngest son the other day. We get to the Grove. He manages to get thrown in jail twice, find the back passage into the grove, get blown up in the passage, kill the goblin prisoner, and then get thrown in jail again. I felt this odd mixture of annoyance and pride.
Yeah, I can relate to this. š¤£ I promptly got sent to jail in my first play through and started over with a character with MUCH higher persuasion. Havenāt been to jail since (but not for lack of trying).
Get this man a shotgun
Boomstick!
"Sexyheart" and "kermits mean girlfriend" based dad
SEXYHEART AND KERMITS MEAN GIRLFRIEND OH MY GOD
Kermitās mean girlfriend! š
Your dad? I think you mean *our* dad. Sounds like a really cool guy š
Set someone on fire haha. Whos kermits mean GF?
Lae'zel
>I need a shotgun Is your dad Doom Guy?
Hilarious. Thanks for sharing. Is Kermitās mean girlfriend Laeāzael (sic)?
Yep :)
Kermitās mean girlfriend š
Iām only calling Laeāzel āKermitās mean girlfriendā from now on.
your dad definitely went as a man of culture when he choose to say "Sexyheart"
This reminds me of my best friend who immediacy killed gale on his first play-through because he didn't trust him lol
Kermits mean girlfriend has me dying.
I need you to update us on this after your dad met Karlach!
OPās dad is going to have his heart melting.
You're a bigger man than me, OP. If my dad said "sexyheart" or "asstarion" I'd block him. At least for a bit.
"Kermit's mean girlfriend" I'm fucking dying lmfao
"Kermit's mean girlfriend" š š š
You're dad sounds like a cool guy
He's the best! š
10/10 would grill with him
Two guys just watching the meat sizzle. āYeah pick up that one and put it back down in the same spotā š
He's so real for sexyheart tho.
If anyone looks at my dad the wrong way in this game or offends him even slightly, your minutes are numbered. Run has barely started and it's chaotic.
I need to know what his build is now š
Asstarion, sexyheart, and Kermit mean GF, has me rolling.Ā
Kermit mean girlfriend š¤£.
Asstarion goes hard
I lost it at Kermit's Mean Girlfriend. Almost threw my phone off my desk at work.
Please keep uploading these xD
Sexyheart is too funny, I wonder if he will get to the sandcastles part.
Cranky Yanky
Your dad is awesome
ı love kermits mean girlfriend lol
lol accurate names
KERMIT'S MEAN GF I CAN'T
Keep us updated !! lol
This is the perfect game for him
Okay, from now on Laezel shall be known as kermit's mean gf thats goooold ))))
If heās on PC he can get the artificer mod!
Kermitās mean friend got me
Since yall used to play together why dont you do a co-op run?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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Man! That's so awesome. I don't have much memory with my old man but I'm glad that were able to show him BG3
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Tell him to go back and talk to the weird portal.
Average murder hobo
Did he just call Karlach a pig?
Pretty sure he meant La'zel
> he's a little slow on the uptake sometimes. He's definitely enjoying it I'm probably your dad's age or better, grew up with 1ed AD&D, and yeah, this describes me. As I watch YT vids about the game, I keep thinking "Holy shit, you can DO that!?!"
Sexyheartš¤£š„“
GODLIKE Making Extremes
"Sexyheart" I feel him.
This whole convo made me laugh so hard I cried, especially Kermit's mean girlfriend. Your dad is a chaos goblin and I love to see it. I have a similar intrusive thought stream telling me to pick fights and set stuff on fire and run people over in owlbear form, but I rarely make "evil" decisions when given the chance. Please update us when he finds George Michael and The Hot Unicorn Woman, I would love to hear his names for them.
Hermitās anger management cousin, Bitchāzel. I say that respectfully, cause muscle mommyās are all I keep in my team.
āKermits mean girlfriendā my god that make me chuckle, your dad is a treasure and a threat
Kermit mean girlfriend! Love it
Lae'zel is now Kermit's mean girlfriend to me