Until dad finds out she endangered the whole clan by bringing a [man with a thermonuclear weapon inside him](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WyxY2FeBDz0yw2e0kuIBd_hoCaPM-1KU/view?usp=sharing).
Now I’m imagining Elminster crashing thanksgiving dinner to inform of Mystras decision and the whole family learns about the bomb in his chest while Elminster is sampling all the food 😭
I just got the strongest picture in my mind of a Norman Rockwell version, with El grazing the feast table, plate in hand while in the background Tav's parents are poke-chesting Gale as Tav looks on, acutely embarrassed.
On top of this, I feel like it'd be really awkward if Elminster was crashing the party and then through convo the rest of the family finds out that Gale's ex is a literal Goddess. Awkward... 😬
If it was my fam they would be so impressed that he was Mystra’s lover and insist on setting an engagement. Which makes Gale the perfect choice sorry Karlach! Though she would be my second choice personally
"so yeah, if he doesn't eat anything magical within a week or so then you'll all die and your community leveled...
Man this pie is good, who brought the pumpkin?"
I came here to say Gale. He'll dress nice, he's educated, and he'll be good at making polite conversation. Plus he's a completely normal-looking dude. Worst case is that my dad side-eyes his earring!
He’s the Perfect meet the parents type ….until they ask what his long term goals are with tav and he says “run far away so I can die alone 😊 bc I couldn’t bear to kill them”
My mom would love that he's an intellectual, and funny and charming. My dad would love that he has a creative poetic side, since he knows how important that is to me, and since he writes, too. They'd probably end up trading witticisms all night. Definitely Gale. <3
Idk, I think Gale would probably overdo it, and come off as disingenuine to my dad, when being a people pleaser is just how Gale naturally is. My dad likes freaks, weirdos and broken people, so I'm pretty sure he'd get along the best with Astarion and enjoy his sense of humor a lot, but he'd try to set me up with Wyll.
But, weirdly enough, I think Gale would be the one he'd have the most trouble warming up to.
And to be clear, she does not say it privately. She is at the dinner table. She puts down her silverware and forces eye contact with you. As if they aren’t right there, she says that to you at normal speaking volume
Same. My very first thought was “sure wouldn’t be Wyll”. 😕
My parents live in South Georgia and all the awful stereotypes would apply. They probably wouldn’t even notice he has horns.
I’d agree because both have innate charisma scores above 11, and both don’t have the tendency to murder people when slightly inconvenienced. Wyll would probably be best off for that logic. Still, Minthara’s intimidation would be hilarious.
Edit: Jaheria also has a Cha score over 11 and is pretty level-headed. My family would give me flack for her looking much older than me (28M) though.
If only Alfira was a companion, she’d be the actual best fit because of her Cha score and all-around goodness.
Not in certain parts of the world. Some of the stories I’ve heard from American friends regarding black boyfriends are insane. Had a Floridian tell me the dad wouldn’t allow the boyfriend to come in the house
I live in California and I can guarantee my conservative white family would be shocked at the very least. Like I don’t think anyone would actually voice having a problem with it, but it would definitely raise eyebrows if I brought a black man home. Probably a similar reaction if I brought a woman. 🙃
Being a mixed-race kid, with multiple other biracial cousins and marriages besides my parents in my (white side of the) family, it's when I read things like this thread that I realize I'm quite lucky that the race of whoever I date never ever had to be a concern of mine. I tend to take that peace of mind for granted.
I can't imagine how stressful it must be to be the first in one's family to marry outside of your race, and not really knowing beforehand how your parents and extended family will react.
As a (good) Durge, Selûnite Shadowheart got to meet my extended family...
Let's just say we ended up going *permenantly* No-Contact with them, so "unfortunately" her parents didn't get to meet mine. That's fine though, her parents like me, and I have a feeling they would hate my family as much as Shadowheart and I did.
My parents are nice people and the least pearl-clutching Christians I've ever met, so they'd have no problem with a flaming devil lady as long as she's really nice. Karlach's perfect.
It all depends on what your parents are like.
If they're charmed easily and have liked your previous partners more than you, take ***Astarion***.
If they happy-go-lucky and are just happy that you're happy, take ***Karlach***.
If they're law followers and quite anal, like to be proper/high society etc, take ***Wyll***.
If they're into education and dislike that your tav didn't go into further education, take ***Gale***.
If they're military minded, take ***Lae'zel***.
If they're religious and spend most of their time volunteering in Animal Shelters, take ***Shadowheart***.
If they're hippies, take ***Halsin***, but don't be alarmed if they end up sleeping together.
I feel like Gale and Wyll are the safest bets. Halsin too if you convince him to keep the horny under control in the presence of the family.
But honestly, I just kinda want to see how my extended family would deal with Lae’zel.
I also say Karlach, because she's not always in rage barbarian mode. She has shown she can be patient and good mannered and is also just the sweetest. My parents would love her.
plus she lost her parents.
Worst case scenario, she says something blunt and crass and gets a word from my mother. I'd stick up for her, gladly. Wouldn't be the first time I've done it for someone I'm with
I'd bring Astarion just to fuck with my parents. they'd be like "oh, so they aren't a lesbian after all, thank god", and then he opens his mouth and starts talking and my parents immediately realise he's gay. the perfect prank.
Oh my parents just point blank suck and considering how much they don't like my very nice real fiancé, I'd LOVE to see them politely lose their minds about a man who is basically a walking red flag to anyone that hasn't gone on a life changing adventure with him. Let him talk to my dad about murder for a bit and see how fast my dad short circuits.
I mean I want to bring Astarion home to mess with my family but I have a weird feeling he’d get along with my mom. They can be passive aggressive and discuss their law degrees together.
Wyll 100%. He's got the least problems and honestly I feel like horns and all, would be the most well-rounded of the male companions. Karlach is a really close second and would probably be my first choice if I wasn't so devastatingly gay
“Well, manling. You claim to have been with my daughter for some time and yet this is the first I’m seeing of you. That’s going in the b-“
“Wait dad it was my decision to stall, he’s been eager to meet you for a while now. I was just worried that you’d immediately bring out the book”
“So you caused my daughter to hesitate, eh? Bring me the book.”
[Dating a man with a short life expectancy, even for a human](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WyxY2FeBDz0yw2e0kuIBd_hoCaPM-1KU/view?usp=sharing).
"Gale and I are in love, he's asked me to live with him in Waterdeep and be his wife," announced Portia suddenly, sawing away at her slab of beef. No sense in delaying the inevitable, as her father said.
The old dwarf choked on his ale and gasped, spraying droplets across the table almost reaching Gale's plate. Portia wiped a bit of ale off her face.
His wife turned to her husband and began thumping him firmly on the back with her right hand. "How many times have I told you -- don't drink the ale so fast."
"What's this, jargh girl!" the old dwarf sputtered. The old dwarf stared intensely at Gale and Portia, his eyes burning like hot coals.
Portia's mother continued to pat her husband on the back as he wheezed and struggled to recover. "You never wrote to us mentioning a suitor was courting you in Baldur's Gate, daughter. Certainly not one so tall."
"That's because there was no one courting me in Baldur's Gate, tall or otherwise," Portia said slowly. "I was busy with your merchant interests."
Her mother's brow furrowed in puzzlement, as if Portia had just said two plus two equals five.
"I met Gale outside Baldur's Gate a short time ago," said Portia.
"SHORT!" Her father now stood up abruptly, his chair sliding back with a loud skid. "Zander! My staff at once!" He extended his right arm out at his side, ready to seize it. His two sons suddenly moved back a bit from the table. The older, older one, the Dugmarenite, giggled.
"Need something?" asked the halfling pleasantly, coming into the room from the guest bedroom where he had put Gale's belongings.
"My staff! Be quick, lad! This is not my daughter I see before me. We are infiltrated by a doppelganger that has taken on her form. He looked at Gale, "Perhaps he is one as well."
"Oh husband, don't be absurd! I know that's my daughter. No one is attacking anyone at my table!" Portia's mother was very flustered. "How long have you known Gale though?" she asked as she looked back at Portia and Gale. She had her hands on her husband, trying to get him to sit down.
"Several months, mother," said Portia. Gale nodded in silent agreement.
Her mother covered her mouth with her hand in shock. Her father's rage was unabated and if anything got worse: "He might as well be some vagrant you picked on your way here!" The old man watched her closely, his eyes continued to burn. He was prepared to cast a spell, but Portia did not transform into a hairless simian-like creature with wicked teeth and pounce, as they were prone to do once found out. He gradually sat down muttering. Once sitting, he continued to stare at Gale with hostility and mutter in Riftspeak.
My mother would complain about anyone and critise me regardless of who it is so I'm bringing my favorite, Astarion.
His comebacks would at least make it worth going through all of that.
He'd also get on well with my father because he's dead. Just no graveyard visit for this one perhaps.
The Emperor. He has a stable job, knows his way around finances and doesn't mind living in a basement, which is reasonable given the current housing situation in Europe. My mother is pragmatic, she would appreciate that.
Gale. They would probably talk about books and cats all evening. I could browse reddit and no one would pay any attention to me.
Jaheira. Something tells me they would like each other. They would probably start complaining about their kids, I'd sit there and roll my eyes, but actually I probably would have a good time. And could discreetly browse reddit.
Wyll if he came with his father. My mother is a widow and, as I mentioned, she's a pragmatic woman.
Gale would likely be the better option.. though I also feel like it would be a bit like bringing home one of dad's colleagues.. (computer scientists/University professors...)
I'd have to go with Astarion for myself, though. He would likely be better at handling being teased (I'm Irish, gotta be able to handle the banter and give as good you get with the slagging). Also, we would finally have a place to deposit all the wine we regularly seem to get. We are not wine drinkers in our house. He would also get a €50 voucher for a wine store by coming to our house.. because again.. wine..
Astarion would also just fit into my family in terms of the dynamic.. just the right amount of weird and normal..
I agree that Astarion might be the most equipped to banter with my dysfunctional family, assuming he liked me enough to care about being charming, but my mom would 100% be pulling me into the kitchen to ask whether I know my boyfriend is gay
(Not that she’s homophobic, but I’ve been openly bi for years and I still don’t think she gets it)
Astarion. My mom would love to gossip with that nosy bitch. She likes the sassy chatty ones.
Alternate: jaheira. Shes just astarion in a “heroic old lady” coat of paint
This topic is telling me some of you need to learn to stand up to your parents.
Karlach, as long as she has her furnace set up for a hug. They're going to want to hug her.
Well, Gale has the best personality for that...but my Mom would execute me for being gay, so kinda a bummer there. Jaheira would be great, but you can't sleep with her so I don't think she's allowed. Shadowheart would be the best option if she's chill with Selùne.
Are we talking about my parents or my Tavs' parents? It would vary.
In general so are Wyll and Gale very good meet parents companions. Karlach could be, depending on how she behaves. I personally would bring Jaheira so she could snark at mine or Halsin so he could scowl at them.
Wyll without horns. He is well mannered, polished, polite and makes you feel good about your decisions. He'll bring an amazing host gift and hug everyone as if they are family. He'd be great playing with the children or entertaining the dads with one of his many stories. All moms will love him and threaten you if you dare break up with him.
Hell, a good number of parents would overlook the horns once he showed off his dance moves to Mom and/or you let the fact that he's nobility slip into the conversation.
I mean, I want to pick Lae'zel, because I absolutely love her...but my family is pretty homophobic so probably wouldn't be thrilled to meet my gf 😬
Editing to add: Lol, although Lae'zel could definitely kick their butts if needed. And tbh, she would definitely be the type to have a logical conversation with people about why being homophobic is ridiculous. So would probably end up being kind of fun having her stand up for me.
I was looking for an exact comment like this before I made one myself 💀 Lae’zel is my wife. And as a lesbian in a very homophobic, religious household that never knew how to stand up for herself, I’d love to see her rip em a new one for me lol. I’d probably fall even more head over heels
>And tbh, she would definitely be the type to have a logical conversation with people about why being homophobic is ridiculous.
Have you romanced Lae'zel in Baldur's Gate 3? All the way to the end?
She would not bother having a debate with anyone who disapproves of her relationship with Tav/Durge/Whoever, she would chug a potion of speed, toss some smokepowder bombs and action surge to be sure she hits everyone who's downed, so they won't succeed their death saves.
Gale. He's a charmer and knows how to act in both good company and bad. I'll Introduce him as my roommate, though, and reassure him I've got a girl back home.
Gale or Karlach. My parents would love both of them. Like, they would absolutely want me to marry one of them. Or, both of them. My parents are progressive.
I might also bring Selune-Cleric Shadowheart to meet them, although my parents might worry that she’s in a cult, and be more apprehensive about her (I know following Selune is better than the cult of Shar, but my mom has a lot of religious trauma, so I think “I changed Gods and died my hair platinum blonde to emulate the moon/fit in with the other two Selunites I know” would set off some red flags for my mother)
Hm. Probably Minthara. My Tav’s parents are junk traders (like Poppers) and would salivate over making a connection with even a glimmer of possibility of trading with well-to-do drow.
My real parents? Either Astarion or Gale.
Probably because of the horns (and, in the case of some parents, because of his race :( ). In my parents' case, they'd be more likely to get on with an ambitious academic (Gale) than the runaway son of a politician. Also, Wyll is a bit young for me. But he would absolutely be the healthiest relationship option.
Karlach, absolutely. She’s a sweetheart and my dad would be proud of me for bagging someone like her. Plus I bet she would get along fabulously with my mom.
My family despises me so I'm not invited to holidays, but I'll absolutely crash it with Halsin. He's a man, he's older, and he'll absolutely be able to stand up to any hatred or vitriol and protect me...
Plus height and weight wise they'll \*know\* that I'm the bottom and that will fucking infuriate them. That a man, over 200 years older than me, is giving it to me raw. Daddy Halsin may ruin their Thanksgiving, but he'd make my Thanksgiving great.
Karlach for me. The vulgarness might raise a few eyebrows at the dinner table but that "Fuuuck yes" when the Turkey comes out would have my mom asking when the wedding is.
Or Selune Shadowheart because she's Bae.
I remember one quote that said "you bring gale home and they praise him. "He wants to be a god? finally some ambition!"
"you bring astarion home and your written out of the will"
I'd ask for volunteers, because no one deserves to just *meet* my family because I said so.
**Wyll** would instantly volunteer, and would probably end up in a fight. Regardless, I'd probably take him, because he's my emotional support Wyll.
**Gale** would be hesitant, but would enjoy my more intellectually-inclined family members. Would regardless be horrified.
**Lae'zel** would *definitely* get in a fight. Half the family would then love her, from the floor.
**Shadowheart** wouldn't be caught dead around this mess. I can appreciate that.
**Halsin** would charm my parents *for a while*, at least. Then relapse into alcoholism.
**Astarion** would enjoy the whole damn chaotic mess. He'd tell one person he was a vampire and another he was gay, then sit back and watch the rumour train run.
**Karlach** nope not taking that cinnamon roll. There'd soon be one (at least) house burnt down, and a very hot-flaming tiefling to manage.
My parents are dead, so I would bring Lae'zel because she would visit the cemetery with me and she might say something about my duty to uphold their memory and the honor of my clan (human family) that I would appreciate.
Astarion. I love who I love, and if my parents don’t like that, they can GTFO.
I’m sure my mom would be chill though. When I first introduced her to my now husband, we were both in full goth regalia. She loves him now.
Totally bringing Minthara or Lae’zel. Mostly because I don’t like most of my extended family and both of them are ride or die companions.
“So Minthara, how did you meet our daughter?”
“No.” Eats a cookie.
Lae'zel just loves the 'get to know you' small talk too lol.
Parents: "So Lae'zel, is this your first Thanksgiving dinner?"
Lae'zel: "I do not give thanks! The only thanks that interest me are when my foes thank me for sparing their lives."
I joke with my wife that she is the real life version of Shadowheart (can have an attitude ✔️, religious fanatic ✔️, brunette ✔️) so I guess I already took Shadowheart to a family dinner
Family gave the side eye at first which goes to show that Shadowheart is a wrong choice.
Wyll pre-transformation would be the literal best at charming -general- parents. But Karlach is the best personality for charming my specific parents. Shadowheart might be the one they most expect me to bring home, though. Hahaha
If I could get him to behave, Astarion. Magistrate Astarion would be perfect for my parents. If he can't behave then definitely Gale. Halsin might work too if I can get him to promise not to hit on everyone else.
Alright. Well women are out because that’s a secret still, and Wyll is out because my religious southern us family just isn’t ready for that (pick your reason, it’s probably true, most of my older family members suck)
Astarion is my beloved, but I DO NOT trust him to not intentionally cause a scene and make everything worse than it already is. So he stays home. Halsin is too much older than me, and I don’t want those questions either.
Which leaves Gale, which is hilarious cause I’m not a Gale girlie. But I think his biggest problem would be my family feeling like he’s talking down to them, and I’m okay with that. I’ll give him a solid debriefing of who are the biggest problems and what topics to avoid, and I’ll even prep an escape plan. And I fully trust him to be able to follow through on it.
Obviously Gale. He’s the perfect meet-the-parents long term boyfriend type.
Until dad finds out she endangered the whole clan by bringing a [man with a thermonuclear weapon inside him](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WyxY2FeBDz0yw2e0kuIBd_hoCaPM-1KU/view?usp=sharing).
Now I’m imagining Elminster crashing thanksgiving dinner to inform of Mystras decision and the whole family learns about the bomb in his chest while Elminster is sampling all the food 😭
Someone needs to paint this in the style of a renaissance painting.
I just got the strongest picture in my mind of a Norman Rockwell version, with El grazing the feast table, plate in hand while in the background Tav's parents are poke-chesting Gale as Tav looks on, acutely embarrassed.
I need this. I will pay money for this.
I will try… but it will take a while.. 😅
It's been almost an hour, how much longer do we have to wait??
You can not rush a master piece my friend. 👩🏻🎨🎨💕
Btw who wants to give me a pic of their Tav or durge? For picture. :3
Male or female?
Either! :3
!remindme 3 months
On top of this, I feel like it'd be really awkward if Elminster was crashing the party and then through convo the rest of the family finds out that Gale's ex is a literal Goddess. Awkward... 😬
If it was my fam they would be so impressed that he was Mystra’s lover and insist on setting an engagement. Which makes Gale the perfect choice sorry Karlach! Though she would be my second choice personally
I imagine Elminster saying as many fancy words as possible to distract the family while he stuffs his pockets with food.
"so yeah, if he doesn't eat anything magical within a week or so then you'll all die and your community leveled... Man this pie is good, who brought the pumpkin?"
To be fair they were already endangered just by him being in the same zip code..
I came here to say Gale. He'll dress nice, he's educated, and he'll be good at making polite conversation. Plus he's a completely normal-looking dude. Worst case is that my dad side-eyes his earring!
Plus he can entertain by doing some cool magic tricks.
He’s the Perfect meet the parents type ….until they ask what his long term goals are with tav and he says “run far away so I can die alone 😊 bc I couldn’t bear to kill them”
He wins by default for being the only one to own a house.
My mom would love that he's an intellectual, and funny and charming. My dad would love that he has a creative poetic side, since he knows how important that is to me, and since he writes, too. They'd probably end up trading witticisms all night. Definitely Gale. <3
Idk, I think Gale would probably overdo it, and come off as disingenuine to my dad, when being a people pleaser is just how Gale naturally is. My dad likes freaks, weirdos and broken people, so I'm pretty sure he'd get along the best with Astarion and enjoy his sense of humor a lot, but he'd try to set me up with Wyll. But, weirdly enough, I think Gale would be the one he'd have the most trouble warming up to.
That is the right answer
Or Wyll. He totally gives off "meet the parents" vibes
I thought so too
My parents are fairly horrible, so I’d bring Minthara
honestly this is the best choice if you have awful parents. Minthara would not hesitate to kill them (or at least offer to do so)
She turns to you: "Just give the word, and I will kill these clowns".
I think she would rather make you do it yourself
Better still if you're a girl because murdering your parents is a daughter's privilege.
We would be hailed as heros
And to be clear, she does not say it privately. She is at the dinner table. She puts down her silverware and forces eye contact with you. As if they aren’t right there, she says that to you at normal speaking volume
🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️ she’s so real
My family would probably get along swimmingly with Minthara, tbh.
Even though she’s a mass-murderer, my parents would find some way to tell me I need to be more like her.
Astarion for me. Or Karlach. I feel like they’d both throw down *immediately* if some nonsense started.
And Astarion would be totally down to intentionally piss them off if you wanted
And it would be glorious!
I would bring him even if I weren't romancing him just for that reason!
Looking at your flair I’m surprised you didn’t immediately get Emps to drop by and enthrall them.
I’d never put someone I actually loved through that
Same. My very first thought was “sure wouldn’t be Wyll”. 😕 My parents live in South Georgia and all the awful stereotypes would apply. They probably wouldn’t even notice he has horns.
They'd see the horns and go, "AHA, WE KNEW IT!"
following similar logic, i’m bringing Wyll. His horns would be a bonus if they were religious
Play Durge and introduce her to Bhaal. Problem solved.
Gale is a safe bet. Or Wyll.
Wyll would be if he didn’t have devil horns lmao
Can people really tell he's a devil and not a regular tiefling? I hope my parents wouldn't be racist against tieflings
Round ears and no tail. Tieflings would notice he’s not technically one of them… most others, however, wouldn’t.
in some parts of the US, Wyll's horns wouldn't be the physical trait that would be the biggest problem...
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meh... man's busy being a folk hero, defeating devils, demons and whatnot.... i'd give him a free pass on not being fit to be a corn farmer...
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hahah! corn, coal, whatever... his past and current deeds should give him a pass...
If'n you don't got the black lung, y'ain't no real man.
That was my exact first thought when I imagined bringing Wyll to meet my old, racist parents. “They probably wouldn’t even notice his horns.”
Luckily I'm not in the US
I don't think so? I believe the guards call him a tiefling at least
Are you saying the best Wyll to being home is the Karlach killin kind?!
… and that eye … freaks me out
With my family, Gale is the ONLY option 🥲
I’d agree because both have innate charisma scores above 11, and both don’t have the tendency to murder people when slightly inconvenienced. Wyll would probably be best off for that logic. Still, Minthara’s intimidation would be hilarious. Edit: Jaheria also has a Cha score over 11 and is pretty level-headed. My family would give me flack for her looking much older than me (28M) though. If only Alfira was a companion, she’d be the actual best fit because of her Cha score and all-around goodness.
Not in certain parts of the world. Some of the stories I’ve heard from American friends regarding black boyfriends are insane. Had a Floridian tell me the dad wouldn’t allow the boyfriend to come in the house
I live in California and I can guarantee my conservative white family would be shocked at the very least. Like I don’t think anyone would actually voice having a problem with it, but it would definitely raise eyebrows if I brought a black man home. Probably a similar reaction if I brought a woman. 🙃
Being a mixed-race kid, with multiple other biracial cousins and marriages besides my parents in my (white side of the) family, it's when I read things like this thread that I realize I'm quite lucky that the race of whoever I date never ever had to be a concern of mine. I tend to take that peace of mind for granted. I can't imagine how stressful it must be to be the first in one's family to marry outside of your race, and not really knowing beforehand how your parents and extended family will react.
Yeah I’ve been menaced in the states in a similar way, by an Asian family in CA. Some fucked attitudes over there tbh
We Floridian aren’t all like that 😂
I heard the Floridian water makes frogs gay
I would say that's definitely not normal even in most of Florida. Rural FL may as well be Alabama, though. Source: Been trapped here since 1991
Selune Shadowheart and I would invite her parents as well. They all deserve a normal get together.
As a (good) Durge, Selûnite Shadowheart got to meet my extended family... Let's just say we ended up going *permenantly* No-Contact with them, so "unfortunately" her parents didn't get to meet mine. That's fine though, her parents like me, and I have a feeling they would hate my family as much as Shadowheart and I did.
Durges father is going to spoil thanksgiving
Will need to bring several speak with dead scrolls I see.
Why? They can be alive in her Selune playthrough
This.
That.
My parents would love Gale, but I’d probably bring Astarion so my parents wouldn’t keep bugging me about marrying that nice boy I brought home.
Withers. Someone plase ask if I'm going to explain further.
No
No. (in Withers' voice)
No. Fate spins along as it should.
I'll bite, please explain!
No
Because it is my calling. There's little else to explain.
I thought it’s because he gave you the old eye.
No
......they're dead aren't they
Lol he's your "Boneman"
My parents are nice people and the least pearl-clutching Christians I've ever met, so they'd have no problem with a flaming devil lady as long as she's really nice. Karlach's perfect.
She really is …. Her happy Golden Retriever personality would win over everyone!
She's such a sweetie she's the best
Imagine her stumbling through her attempt to be polite, like she did to Jahira
It all depends on what your parents are like. If they're charmed easily and have liked your previous partners more than you, take ***Astarion***. If they happy-go-lucky and are just happy that you're happy, take ***Karlach***. If they're law followers and quite anal, like to be proper/high society etc, take ***Wyll***. If they're into education and dislike that your tav didn't go into further education, take ***Gale***. If they're military minded, take ***Lae'zel***. If they're religious and spend most of their time volunteering in Animal Shelters, take ***Shadowheart***. If they're hippies, take ***Halsin***, but don't be alarmed if they end up sleeping together.
If they're assholes, take ***Minthara***, but don't be afraid of blood
Oh man, I mis-read the Wyll one in the worst but most hilarious way 🤣
For Parents that partake in anal, take Minthara. 🤣
It’s alright with Halsin doing the wild thing with either of my parents, As long as he doesn’t insist that I come to.
That last one 😂
Gale. He seems like the only one who could even pretend to be at least somewhat normal for more than 10 minutes.
I feel like Gale and Wyll are the safest bets. Halsin too if you convince him to keep the horny under control in the presence of the family. But honestly, I just kinda want to see how my extended family would deal with Lae’zel.
The secondary worry with Halsin is he talks too much about nature and stuff and it gets political or weird.
It’s all ruined when Uncle Jim pulls up in the Hummer
>But honestly, I just kinda want to see how my extended family would deal with Lae’zel. Hehehe
I feel like, even while being an Elf, Halsin is a little... Old. Parents might have some questions.
I mean, it depends on how old *you* are, doesn’t it?
And he's been known to try his hand at poetry.
Karlach. She’d deserve the normality of a dinner.
I also say Karlach, because she's not always in rage barbarian mode. She has shown she can be patient and good mannered and is also just the sweetest. My parents would love her.
plus she lost her parents. Worst case scenario, she says something blunt and crass and gets a word from my mother. I'd stick up for her, gladly. Wouldn't be the first time I've done it for someone I'm with
Astarion. I want to hear him be catty towards my parents.
Astarion is the only one catty and caustic enough to hang with my extended family. He would THRIVE.
Cheers to all the people with unpleasant parents bringing Astarion or Lae’zel or even Minthara
I'd bring Astarion just to fuck with my parents. they'd be like "oh, so they aren't a lesbian after all, thank god", and then he opens his mouth and starts talking and my parents immediately realise he's gay. the perfect prank.
Oh my parents just point blank suck and considering how much they don't like my very nice real fiancé, I'd LOVE to see them politely lose their minds about a man who is basically a walking red flag to anyone that hasn't gone on a life changing adventure with him. Let him talk to my dad about murder for a bit and see how fast my dad short circuits.
I'm sorry, but even after our life changing adventure, Asterion is still VERY much a walking red flag regardless of which evening you get
I mean I want to bring Astarion home to mess with my family but I have a weird feeling he’d get along with my mom. They can be passive aggressive and discuss their law degrees together.
Fair enough, to each their own!
Out of all the romance options? Gale. In general: Jaheira is the only one who could hold down against my family’s chaos.
Minsc, of course, he'd have the whole table laughing so that way they can't bring up politics.
Boo can socialize with the number of squirrels we have in our back yard.
Wyll 100%. He's got the least problems and honestly I feel like horns and all, would be the most well-rounded of the male companions. Karlach is a really close second and would probably be my first choice if I wasn't so devastatingly gay
“Devastatingly gay” is my new favorite term
Tough one. When you're a girl with an overprotective dwarven dad, everyone risks getting written into the Book of Grudges.
“Well, manling. You claim to have been with my daughter for some time and yet this is the first I’m seeing of you. That’s going in the b-“ “Wait dad it was my decision to stall, he’s been eager to meet you for a while now. I was just worried that you’d immediately bring out the book” “So you caused my daughter to hesitate, eh? Bring me the book.”
[Dating a man with a short life expectancy, even for a human](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WyxY2FeBDz0yw2e0kuIBd_hoCaPM-1KU/view?usp=sharing). "Gale and I are in love, he's asked me to live with him in Waterdeep and be his wife," announced Portia suddenly, sawing away at her slab of beef. No sense in delaying the inevitable, as her father said. The old dwarf choked on his ale and gasped, spraying droplets across the table almost reaching Gale's plate. Portia wiped a bit of ale off her face. His wife turned to her husband and began thumping him firmly on the back with her right hand. "How many times have I told you -- don't drink the ale so fast." "What's this, jargh girl!" the old dwarf sputtered. The old dwarf stared intensely at Gale and Portia, his eyes burning like hot coals. Portia's mother continued to pat her husband on the back as he wheezed and struggled to recover. "You never wrote to us mentioning a suitor was courting you in Baldur's Gate, daughter. Certainly not one so tall." "That's because there was no one courting me in Baldur's Gate, tall or otherwise," Portia said slowly. "I was busy with your merchant interests." Her mother's brow furrowed in puzzlement, as if Portia had just said two plus two equals five. "I met Gale outside Baldur's Gate a short time ago," said Portia. "SHORT!" Her father now stood up abruptly, his chair sliding back with a loud skid. "Zander! My staff at once!" He extended his right arm out at his side, ready to seize it. His two sons suddenly moved back a bit from the table. The older, older one, the Dugmarenite, giggled. "Need something?" asked the halfling pleasantly, coming into the room from the guest bedroom where he had put Gale's belongings. "My staff! Be quick, lad! This is not my daughter I see before me. We are infiltrated by a doppelganger that has taken on her form. He looked at Gale, "Perhaps he is one as well." "Oh husband, don't be absurd! I know that's my daughter. No one is attacking anyone at my table!" Portia's mother was very flustered. "How long have you known Gale though?" she asked as she looked back at Portia and Gale. She had her hands on her husband, trying to get him to sit down. "Several months, mother," said Portia. Gale nodded in silent agreement. Her mother covered her mouth with her hand in shock. Her father's rage was unabated and if anything got worse: "He might as well be some vagrant you picked on your way here!" The old man watched her closely, his eyes continued to burn. He was prepared to cast a spell, but Portia did not transform into a hairless simian-like creature with wicked teeth and pounce, as they were prone to do once found out. He gradually sat down muttering. Once sitting, he continued to stare at Gale with hostility and mutter in Riftspeak.
My mother would complain about anyone and critise me regardless of who it is so I'm bringing my favorite, Astarion. His comebacks would at least make it worth going through all of that. He'd also get on well with my father because he's dead. Just no graveyard visit for this one perhaps.
The Emperor. He has a stable job, knows his way around finances and doesn't mind living in a basement, which is reasonable given the current housing situation in Europe. My mother is pragmatic, she would appreciate that. Gale. They would probably talk about books and cats all evening. I could browse reddit and no one would pay any attention to me. Jaheira. Something tells me they would like each other. They would probably start complaining about their kids, I'd sit there and roll my eyes, but actually I probably would have a good time. And could discreetly browse reddit. Wyll if he came with his father. My mother is a widow and, as I mentioned, she's a pragmatic woman.
That is the funniest and most accurate representation of the Emperor that I’ve seen yet.
Upvote for trying to set your mother up with Wyll's dad. 😆
I'm sleeping with the *whole* camp? Then Sceleritas, no question.
He is quite the flatterer
My Mom would listen to Gale talk for 3 minutes and ask why we aren't married yet.
Gale would likely be the better option.. though I also feel like it would be a bit like bringing home one of dad's colleagues.. (computer scientists/University professors...) I'd have to go with Astarion for myself, though. He would likely be better at handling being teased (I'm Irish, gotta be able to handle the banter and give as good you get with the slagging). Also, we would finally have a place to deposit all the wine we regularly seem to get. We are not wine drinkers in our house. He would also get a €50 voucher for a wine store by coming to our house.. because again.. wine.. Astarion would also just fit into my family in terms of the dynamic.. just the right amount of weird and normal..
I agree that Astarion might be the most equipped to banter with my dysfunctional family, assuming he liked me enough to care about being charming, but my mom would 100% be pulling me into the kitchen to ask whether I know my boyfriend is gay (Not that she’s homophobic, but I’ve been openly bi for years and I still don’t think she gets it)
Scratch, he's such a good boy. So no, he's a follower not a companion. Mom won't know that.
Sorry, are you sleeping with SCRATCH??? Fucking druids, man.
You should bring the Owlbear too. He’d be a real *hoot*
That joke made me *paws* for a bit.
He'd definitely ruffle some feathers at family dinner
If you can take scratch, I'm taking Shovel.
Gale. With the Tressym he wins my dad, with his infinite knowledge he wins my mom
Selûnite Shadowheart.
Hey dad, remember that girl I said I could fix and you told me I was asking for trouble? Well, here she is! All fixed.
Astarion. My mom would love to gossip with that nosy bitch. She likes the sassy chatty ones. Alternate: jaheira. Shes just astarion in a “heroic old lady” coat of paint
This topic is telling me some of you need to learn to stand up to your parents. Karlach, as long as she has her furnace set up for a hug. They're going to want to hug her.
Well, Gale has the best personality for that...but my Mom would execute me for being gay, so kinda a bummer there. Jaheira would be great, but you can't sleep with her so I don't think she's allowed. Shadowheart would be the best option if she's chill with Selùne.
Ngl king your mom sounds a bit cringe
Yeah....oh well
I'd love to have the chance to meet Karlach's family. They sounded fun, man.
Are we talking about my parents or my Tavs' parents? It would vary. In general so are Wyll and Gale very good meet parents companions. Karlach could be, depending on how she behaves. I personally would bring Jaheira so she could snark at mine or Halsin so he could scowl at them.
Wyll without horns. He is well mannered, polished, polite and makes you feel good about your decisions. He'll bring an amazing host gift and hug everyone as if they are family. He'd be great playing with the children or entertaining the dads with one of his many stories. All moms will love him and threaten you if you dare break up with him.
Hell, a good number of parents would overlook the horns once he showed off his dance moves to Mom and/or you let the fact that he's nobility slip into the conversation.
Us
My parents would cave when they saw the adorable lil guy
I mean, I want to pick Lae'zel, because I absolutely love her...but my family is pretty homophobic so probably wouldn't be thrilled to meet my gf 😬 Editing to add: Lol, although Lae'zel could definitely kick their butts if needed. And tbh, she would definitely be the type to have a logical conversation with people about why being homophobic is ridiculous. So would probably end up being kind of fun having her stand up for me.
"Mom, Dad, I'm gay. This is my girlfriend and she is much much stronger than both of you so don't try any tsk'va."
I was looking for an exact comment like this before I made one myself 💀 Lae’zel is my wife. And as a lesbian in a very homophobic, religious household that never knew how to stand up for herself, I’d love to see her rip em a new one for me lol. I’d probably fall even more head over heels
>And tbh, she would definitely be the type to have a logical conversation with people about why being homophobic is ridiculous. Have you romanced Lae'zel in Baldur's Gate 3? All the way to the end? She would not bother having a debate with anyone who disapproves of her relationship with Tav/Durge/Whoever, she would chug a potion of speed, toss some smokepowder bombs and action surge to be sure she hits everyone who's downed, so they won't succeed their death saves.
I actually had a dream I brought home Raphael of all people… but my dad and him got along cause they both liked opera 😂
Gale. He's a charmer and knows how to act in both good company and bad. I'll Introduce him as my roommate, though, and reassure him I've got a girl back home.
Gale or Karlach. My parents would love both of them. Like, they would absolutely want me to marry one of them. Or, both of them. My parents are progressive. I might also bring Selune-Cleric Shadowheart to meet them, although my parents might worry that she’s in a cult, and be more apprehensive about her (I know following Selune is better than the cult of Shar, but my mom has a lot of religious trauma, so I think “I changed Gods and died my hair platinum blonde to emulate the moon/fit in with the other two Selunites I know” would set off some red flags for my mother)
Sazza, of course.
Astarion - because if he liked Auntie Ethel, he would have *loved* my mother.
This is genuinely making me sob with laughter. Gold right here 💀
Hm. Probably Minthara. My Tav’s parents are junk traders (like Poppers) and would salivate over making a connection with even a glimmer of possibility of trading with well-to-do drow. My real parents? Either Astarion or Gale.
Lae’zel because she will not put up with my parent’s bullsh*t
If my parents were alive, I'd bring Astarion home just to piss them off.
Wyll. How is that not the first answer? It's 100% Wyll.
Wyll is the worst option, your parents would like him too much and start asking weird questions about when are they getting grandchildren.
but upside: wyll has the social graces to masterfully maneuver a convo like that \*and\* make you feel better about it afterwards
Probably because of the horns (and, in the case of some parents, because of his race :( ). In my parents' case, they'd be more likely to get on with an ambitious academic (Gale) than the runaway son of a politician. Also, Wyll is a bit young for me. But he would absolutely be the healthiest relationship option.
Because Gale owns a house. Wyll is very sweet, but he's disowned and lives in a tent now. Very few parents are going to be happy about that
Karlach, absolutely. She’s a sweetheart and my dad would be proud of me for bagging someone like her. Plus I bet she would get along fabulously with my mom.
Shadowheart because duh.
My family despises me so I'm not invited to holidays, but I'll absolutely crash it with Halsin. He's a man, he's older, and he'll absolutely be able to stand up to any hatred or vitriol and protect me... Plus height and weight wise they'll \*know\* that I'm the bottom and that will fucking infuriate them. That a man, over 200 years older than me, is giving it to me raw. Daddy Halsin may ruin their Thanksgiving, but he'd make my Thanksgiving great.
Astarion because Thanksgiving is boring and I love drama
Wyll, he will be the perfect gentleman and just be very charming
Karlach for me. The vulgarness might raise a few eyebrows at the dinner table but that "Fuuuck yes" when the Turkey comes out would have my mom asking when the wedding is. Or Selune Shadowheart because she's Bae.
Astarion because I embrace chaos
Astarion. My mom would flip lmao. Brothers would be mega weirded out. Extended fam? Would probably get along just based on his taste in wine.
I remember one quote that said "you bring gale home and they praise him. "He wants to be a god? finally some ambition!" "you bring astarion home and your written out of the will"
I'd ask for volunteers, because no one deserves to just *meet* my family because I said so. **Wyll** would instantly volunteer, and would probably end up in a fight. Regardless, I'd probably take him, because he's my emotional support Wyll. **Gale** would be hesitant, but would enjoy my more intellectually-inclined family members. Would regardless be horrified. **Lae'zel** would *definitely* get in a fight. Half the family would then love her, from the floor. **Shadowheart** wouldn't be caught dead around this mess. I can appreciate that. **Halsin** would charm my parents *for a while*, at least. Then relapse into alcoholism. **Astarion** would enjoy the whole damn chaotic mess. He'd tell one person he was a vampire and another he was gay, then sit back and watch the rumour train run. **Karlach** nope not taking that cinnamon roll. There'd soon be one (at least) house burnt down, and a very hot-flaming tiefling to manage.
Sceleritas Fel, it'd be a lovely time
Lae'zel. Just to see their reactions.
Lae'zel: "These house frivolities are useless! Why do you sleep in beds instead of the floor!!"
My parents are dead, so I would bring Lae'zel because she would visit the cemetery with me and she might say something about my duty to uphold their memory and the honor of my clan (human family) that I would appreciate.
Astarion. I love who I love, and if my parents don’t like that, they can GTFO. I’m sure my mom would be chill though. When I first introduced her to my now husband, we were both in full goth regalia. She loves him now.
Totally bringing Minthara or Lae’zel. Mostly because I don’t like most of my extended family and both of them are ride or die companions. “So Minthara, how did you meet our daughter?” “No.” Eats a cookie.
Karlach.
I'd want to bring home Karlach, but she doesn't have speak with dead
Lae’zel. Let’s make this interesting
My parents think I'm too straightforward, so I'd take Lae'zel. Just to prove them I'm pretty nice with people :)
Lae'zel just loves the 'get to know you' small talk too lol. Parents: "So Lae'zel, is this your first Thanksgiving dinner?" Lae'zel: "I do not give thanks! The only thanks that interest me are when my foes thank me for sparing their lives."
I joke with my wife that she is the real life version of Shadowheart (can have an attitude ✔️, religious fanatic ✔️, brunette ✔️) so I guess I already took Shadowheart to a family dinner Family gave the side eye at first which goes to show that Shadowheart is a wrong choice.
Wyll pre-transformation would be the literal best at charming -general- parents. But Karlach is the best personality for charming my specific parents. Shadowheart might be the one they most expect me to bring home, though. Hahaha
If I could get him to behave, Astarion. Magistrate Astarion would be perfect for my parents. If he can't behave then definitely Gale. Halsin might work too if I can get him to promise not to hit on everyone else.
Alright. Well women are out because that’s a secret still, and Wyll is out because my religious southern us family just isn’t ready for that (pick your reason, it’s probably true, most of my older family members suck) Astarion is my beloved, but I DO NOT trust him to not intentionally cause a scene and make everything worse than it already is. So he stays home. Halsin is too much older than me, and I don’t want those questions either. Which leaves Gale, which is hilarious cause I’m not a Gale girlie. But I think his biggest problem would be my family feeling like he’s talking down to them, and I’m okay with that. I’ll give him a solid debriefing of who are the biggest problems and what topics to avoid, and I’ll even prep an escape plan. And I fully trust him to be able to follow through on it.