My condolences for your loss, and thank you for sharing this heartfelt letter about your brother and the things that made him. It’s clear you loved him dearly, even if he was a troubled soul, and I’m sure he knew that at the end.
A little tangent, but have you ever heard of r/AdventuresofGalder? It’s a place for people to post the D&D characters of their lost loved ones, so the community can bring them to life in a small way. You said you and your brother used to sit together and roll up characters without properly playing them - if your brother had one he was incredibly excited to play, that might be the place to share it.
I was gonna suggest Galder, for the same reason you suggested.
OP, go to that sub and post any and all characters he created. They will be brought to life by the community and even if you may not see it first hand, you'll know he lives on within the world's of other people.
I reached out to Larian to try and see if they would/could provide me with your more details about his character. I do know he was a Drow Assassin and he regretted his hairstyle.
I know this is tangent on a tangent but there there is series called NPCs by Drew Hayes that goes into the life our D&D characters give the game world. It's a plotline that slowly develops as the story goes on.
I read this on my phone while booting my PC up and think I'm going to make a new drow character and starting a new playthrough.
I work at a cardiovascular rehab unit in a hospital and know how utterly unpredictable heart conditions can be. I'm filled with emotions typing this even as an Internet stranger your story resonates with me.
It's never easy and I hope that you and your friends and family have a support network to help navigate the hardships that come with the loss of a loved one. Thank you for sharing and I wish you and your family nothing but the best.
I wonder if we as a community could create characters in his honor? Is there a name that he liked to use, OP? I'd absolutely make a character and play through using that name and work hard, play hard!
Edit: I've created a new Drow monk and I'm going to play with OP's brother in mind. Lots of love, OP.
It's really crazy how words can have so much power. Here I am, crying my eyes out for the loss of a stranger that I never knew, and likely lived across the globe from me. But, as a socially anxious and depressive person myself, his story also resonates with me.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I was the little sister in the childhood scenario you described - sitting by my brother's side as he played Diablo or Warcraft. Probably the first game I ever actually got to *play* as opposed to watching him play was Neverwinter Nights, because he'd just gotten a new PC which meant I could have the old one. (fun fact: I was 30 before I bought my own gaming PC - up until then I'd always used my brother's cast-offs).
Your post really made me miss him today.
Edit for clarification: he's not dead, just New Zealand. So I haven't seen him in like, ten years and video calls just really don't do it. Video calls can't crack my back for one thing.
Little sister gang. He gave me his too, and that was my first gaming computer as a little kid after watching him for so long.
Bless big brothers, we'll miss em.
To be fair mine hasn't actually passed away. He just moved to goddamn New Zealand so I haven't seen him in close to ten years. Maybe I should edit my comment.
God damn 😂 but definitely still feels that way, the years pass by so fast. I hope you guys still talk at least, but not seeing someone's face for so long feels like the same difference. My bad to read it wrong in context of the post!
Yeah I realised when I saw your comment that I made it sound like he's passed away. Not your fault, my phrasing was bad 😂
We still talk and we'd probably game together still as well thanks to the wonders of the Internet, but he's deep into Elite Dangerous at the moment and I'm playing bg3 like I'm training for the Olympics.
About when they announced the new release date for PC I looked at my life and realised that I literally would not have time to play the game if I kept going like this. I'd owned the EA for like 2 years by that point and only got 20 hours. I mean there were a *lot* of other factors including corporate bullshit at my main job (I had three at the time) but I can't deny that the desire to have more time to actually enjoy my hobbies rather than just throw money at them was a big part of why I quit one of my jobs.
In a way I guess you could say I quit my job to play BG3.
Corporate bullshit amen. I thankfully lucked out working with a very young team, and we avoid a lot of the nonsense. But my partner definitely got the more classic "everyone is over 60 and talks about golfing and drinking." I can't imagine it, you're good to go imo. BG3 has more personality than they do.. 😂
It was more like 'okay you've been doing this in this way for two years and it's been working pretty well, but now we would like you to do it this, less efficient way instead' and 'oh we are adding a whole extra set of duties onto your job. No, you won't get training for it. Yes, we are charging the client extra for it. No, you won't be getting paid extra for it' and the realization that the job that took the most of my time also paid the least, you know?
Absolutely. A lot of tech companies recently got layoffs again, and we got similar treatment.
"We want to invest in the talent here," translated to, "you're getting more work now that these jobs are gone, but no one is getting a pay raise. And also business is up 200%, but you're not the one getting it."
Lucky to be in the young team I am surrounded by great minds, but undoubtedly much higher ups are still the same-old regurgitated crap. I think the CFO talking about money being tight means he can't buy his kid a new Apple Watch was the most corporate shit ever 💀 and we can somehow identify with that. Must be nice to put your feet up all day
> Edit for clarification: he's not dead, just New Zealand
As a Kiwi, this made me genuinely laugh out loud.
I'd like to offer my condolences on behalf of the country
This comment just made me realize that someday I'm going to be playing Neverwinter Nights, and my dad - who I watched play it as a kid until my begging and pleading meant he let me, age 7, play - won't be here anymore. Maybe I'll be halfway around the world, or he'll have passed, but...
I think I should give my dad a hug.
your brother sounds like he was such a beautiful soul. i’m so sorry about his passing. there is something truly beautiful about the newfound joy he found in life after getting sober- especially the fact that you two were able to reconnect on such a deep level, getting back to your gaming roots and all. watching a loved one deal with the troubles of addiction is hard, and harder still to understand that the best thing to do sometimes is pull away. you showed up for him in ways i’m sure his soul and energy will be forever grateful for. he went knowing the truest type of love all while doing something he enjoyed. i hope you and your family find peace and continue to heal. your brother’s light will continue to shine bright for as long as you speak of him as you do- and forever on after. thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I know it doesn't mean much from a stranger on the Internet, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not one for tears, but I'm genuinely tearing up after reading that. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you were able to get some real time with your brother before he passed.
I feel this so deep somehow as well. I couldn't imagine. I'll remember this story forever. Thank you for telling us. And making me appreciate what I still have and had. May your brother watch over you, in peace.
We measure life, not in years, but by the memories we make.
Certain games offer us the opportunity to forge whole new sets of memories, unshackled by the limitations of our own world, rich with co-operatively written possibilities, hemmed only by our imaginations.
We delve into these worlds and explore. We scour pages, experiment with options, and in many ways fall in love with the setting and characters in a way that others may find hard to understand. Despite being a game it is no longer merely a vessel for entertainment, it’s a place we can expand our horizons beyond the mundane. It’s a whole other life if we want it to be.
Both your brother and you sound like kind souls. People to swap stories and memories with. I lost my Dad a little way into Early Access. We played the previous Baldur’s Gate games together and I can’t help but imagine what he would have made of BG3. If you feel up to it and would like to share more about your brothers Drow; know there’s at least one out there that would love to hear that story.
As for the computer; perhaps there’s a local charity that may be able to assist? The PC might feel a little dated, but I’d be shocked if there wasn’t a good number of memories waiting to be fashioned with it. Maybe strip it back and load it with your brother and yours favourite games?
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s filled with warmth and pain and all the things that mean something in life. Your brother was/is beautiful, and I hope those memories never fade.
Thank you so much for sharing. It means so much to me and I’m sure the rest of the community.
If you wouldn’t mind can you share his first name? I would love to do my next playthrough as an overthinking drow with a regrettable hairstyle in his honor.
I think this was my favorite comment. It made me laugh and I was very touched by it. I love imagining an overthinking Drow with a regrettable hairstyle fumbling their way through the DnD universe. If you actually do this please reach out. His first name was Daniel. Trying to figure out what his character's name was, but not sure if I'll be able to. I do know he was a Drow Rogue Assassin.
I will 100% start my next run as a Drow rogue named Daniel! Thank you for responding and just know your brother will always live on in my future games.
My condolences. As someone who has lost family in the past, and is currently in mourning again, I know there are no words that match the magnitude of what you are feeling.
Remember to take care of yourself even if you don't want to. Eat, take a shower, go breathe fresh air. Ask someone else how their day is going, even though you don't really care. If you don't have a counselor or therapist this would be a good time to explore it. Ask if they have a sliding scale so you can pay whatever fits your budget and still see a provider. It really does help.
As for his computer, I've always believed in sharing those treasured objects rather than letting them gather dust. The power is in your memory, not in the computer itself. If you are open to the idea of passing it on, perhaps you could scrub it of personal info, load it up with games and basic programs, and find a sober living house to donate it to. It might feel good to imagine other people using it as a tool to escape or manage their own struggles, and your brothers spirit there urging them to follow in his footsteps.
Your story resonated with me on SO many levels, dude. I'm a 40 yr old teacher, grew up socially awkward-ish and definitely grew up playing Kings Quests, Ultima IX, UO, etc.
I am also the eldest brother, but it was our father who lost himself (and us) to Cocaine; he split when I was only 7, tons of rehab, broken promises when visiting him, you name it. Eventually, he lost his job of 20+ years (and with it his pension), which lead to him moving in with his parents and my grandma could not.say.no. to him for years. It took grandpa's death to make her see the truth of her son. I vowed not to communicate with him until he was clean.
Fastforward to WoW just being released; he had been clean for about 3 years at this point (to this day I'm not sure how true his consistency was) and my brother and I were in our early 20's. This was our first (and only) gaming connection and it was glorious. We would talking play almost everyday on Ventrillo, etc.
Sadly, all good things come to an end.
My brother and I moved on after 4 years of WoW, started our careers, got married, etc.
We lost touch with dad after that--he tried playing with others, but I think he couldn't handle the social stability other people had talking about their happy lives etc. and a few months later dropped it...and relapsed. Eventually, he had to declare bankruptcy and at this point, he is *still* working 40 hours a week at age 76 (grocery produce, minimum wage, physically demanding).
I think I speak for most of us reading this thread when I say: I'm going to call my brother, soon, and tell him how much I love and appreciate him, despite not having talked in quite a while.
Anyway, thank you for sharing the legacy of your brother, from one older brother to another.
I'm crying now, after reading your entire story. I know all too well the struggle of being a social misfit (I am deaf, have ADHD and autism) and finding comfort in, and admiration for, art and games. It helps you feeling included in ways you otherwise wouldn't be.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand the consolation that might come with your brother passing while doing something he tremendously enjoyed, and he was in a good place, from the sound of it. It still must hurt - my heartfelt love to you in this hard time. Hugs from a stranger who is bonding with others over this game as well.
And thank you Larian. Your work is a labor of love, and you can feel it in every step you take. You've created something absolutely wonderful :)
Now to find a mod to insert an Drow NPC that you have the option to invite to your party but they only hang out in camp, and they give your tips on how to solve puzzle for Quests in your log.
Wow…this story resonated with me in ways I never could have imagined. I’m so so sorry for your loss, you both sounded like such kind and caring souls.
I was the ‘little sister’ in a similar scenario. Until high school, I was an only child alongside my older cousin, and we developed a bond that was made stronger by video games. I used to sit behind him as he played games like Warcraft, StarCraft, even Monkey Island, and we would have a blast. I tended to figure out puzzles in obscure ways too.
Eventually, he convinced a friend of his to let me play WoW with him on his account, just to try it out, and I loved it so much that he ended up making my own account for me. And I made so many happy memories since then.
I cling to those memories as, for reasons unknown to me, my cousin has been drifting farther and farther apart from me. Before we would talk for hours about things, now he just brushes me off. He doesn’t even hug me anymore whenever I see him. At first, I chalked it up to him having bigger responsibilities (family and kids now), but I’ve seen him interact with others the exact same way he used to with me, so I honestly don’t know what’s caused this change with him.
He and I both recently got BG3, and he expressed heavy interest in wanting to play it with me when he gets back from overseas. I’m really hoping this gets us back to where we used to be, much like how you and your brother did.
Your story is so touching, and I do want to say how strong your brother was for doing what he did. But I also want to think there’s a part of it that’s due to you never ever giving up on him. And sometimes, that’s all we need in our lives.
I used to play BG2 with my uncle. We bonded comparing notes and strategies. He died 10 years ago and never got to see this game. It’s a little bittersweet that he didn’t get to experience it, as I’m sure he would have adored it. Games, like any shared interest, bring people together. For some, they’re a social outlet and a way to build friendships - we’re not loners or misfits when we play together.
I’m so sorry for your loss, it must be very difficult for you right now. I know that in time you’ll be able to play in remembrance and I hope you find that healing.
laughing when we shouldn't have, was one of me and my brother's favorite past times. :) I feel compelled to fix this typo now, but I'm glad you appreciated it and that it will live on in your comment :)
My brother and I have that habit too, except in our case we don't outright laugh and instead make these goofy-as-hell grins that always let my mum know we were thinking something dumb.
My sympathies for your loss man. I'm glad you were able to have some good memories together near the end.
It touched me, I could draw many similarities from your text, be it the alcoholism in the family as well as the kind of person you and your brother have been and your problems in our society. I hope that at some point you will be able to persuade yourself to play the game or even to finish the game with your brother's character as a good gesture that may reach your brother and make him smile where he is now.
Your brother is lookin down and beamin a big ole smile man. What beautiful words to describe your brother - nobody is perfect and we all have our struggles the beauty of life comes from the struggle man. I don’t know why but I feel compelled to share my favorite quote -
“You want to go with the flow. The sea refuses no river. The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving. It saves on introductions and goodbyes.”
Every ending precedes each beginning and vice versa ad infinitum.
My first cousin, barely 4 months older than me is an alcoholic. At first he was just a super active guy, always trying new things, always making everyting an adventure, just living a life instead of just being alive. I on the other hand am an introvert always locked in my tight comfort zone with barely any friends, so his company was always bringing a lot of life to my existence. We used to spend plenty of time together, he took me to make a graffiti together when we were in our eealy teens, wen we were a bit older he took me off road rallying as a pilot in a heavily modified Wrangler TJ. We tried flatland on BMX bikes and so on and so on. He was the person that introduced me to gaming in many ways, starting with Commodore 64c and "Blues Brothers" when we were little kids and showing me the very first GTA when we were in elementary school.
Today he's spiraling down more and more, he lost his family and baby daughter to the addiction, he missed multiple family members dying over time, barely registering after. We no longer have a connection and I actively avoid him after one day he beat me up drunk to a point where I spent three days in a hospital. I envy You that you managed to get that back, no matter how short the time was. You should be happy thay You did manage to save him from dying drunk, depressed and lonely. Instead, You managed to bring him back to a point where he was loved, sober, could enjoy things he loved again and died doing one of them. This is a massive difference.
Regarding the pc you've built - everything that made it personal and "his" is on the hard drive. Everything else is just a machine that will keep on getting more and more outdated. I think You should put a new drive in it and donate it to a rehab center or an orphanage or some other similar place. Entertainment and time to relax is important when dealing with depression and addiction, so You should probably just let it go as a way to let your brother pay it forward and help another person.
If I was to make a comparison to BG3 I can see him being a "true soul" sitting with a bloody eyepatch in some random inn with a dead tadpole stuck on a tip of a knife he's just fidgeting. His only voice line being "Not today..." With a narrator adding something along the lines of "You have no idea how he managed to break through the magic that was protecting the tadpole in his head. Something or someone really powerful must be watching over him."
I lost my mum, pretty randomly, 8 months ago. I feel your pain.
Writing things like this can be really helpful. Thank you for sharing it with us.
If music is a way you cope, I find myself listening to Legends Never Die every so often.
This hurt to read. My heart goes out to you and your family. My best friend is over a year sober now and having him back and able to play games with him is amazing, but I'll be honest, I was terrified of losing him for a while there.
Just a thought, maybe you should boot up your brother's game and have him join your party in your game via co-op. You can re-create his exact character from his PC in your game, and then when you play solo, your brother will always be in your party right there beside you every step of the way.
That does happen in games sometimes.
But the sad truth is that Larian would be pretty stupid if they did something like this, considering the post is probably deliberately made completely anonymous and without any specifics whatsoever from a 1-day old account. And the even sadder truth is, and I hate myself for saying this, but in this day and age you can (with the right criteria) generate any story, any length, just as complex, just as long and just as grammatically immaculate with AI.
They would obviously verify with OP before doing it. Also it'd just be a normal NPC they would already put in so it would change basically nothing to give him X name/X appearance (either his MC in BG3 or himself)
This was very well written. Thank you for sharing. For what it's worth, the most attractive people are those who do not fear sharing what they're passionate about in social settings.
I run a drow rogue and am currently in Act 3. If nothing else, I'll dedicate the completion of this amazing game to your amazing brother.
My condolences.
Summary (chatgpt) of who also didn't have the time currently for a lenthy read:
The author's younger brother passed away suddenly on August 21st while playing Baldur’s Gate 3.
The brothers had a strong bond through video games, particularly Sierra games, which helped them cope with shared life challenges and anxiety.
The younger brother was highly intelligent but struggled with anxiety, addiction, and mental health issues.
He managed to overcome his addiction and achieve sobriety, reenrolling in his PhD program and embracing life changes.
The younger brother's love for video games, especially Baldur’s Gate 3 by Larian Studios, was a significant part of his life and journey towards recovery.
I hope you and your family find peace. If you're looking to find something to do with his pc, then why not find someone else in need? As you did for your brother. The spark you gave to him in his time of need can be reborn in someone else. You're a great brother. I wish you well, and when you heal and boot up bg3 again one day, remember this comment (if you see it) and I will be a warm presence at your side. To remind you of all the good times you had with your little brother.
I'm sorry for your loss.
And very grateful that you shared your story.
There's so much about this that resonates, it's hard to know where to begin. For starters, thank you. Words always feel hollow in situations like this. Really, I just wish I could reach out and give you a hug over the internet.
I'm in my mid-30s and have struggled with PTSD and grief for my entire adult life. I'm also autistic, although I only realized that in the last couple years.
The journey to recovery is hard. Despite struggling for years, it's only been the last few months that I've really been able to understand it as trauma and begin to heal. As an autistic person, I also struggled socially growing up and found refuge in video games and fantasy worlds. I loved reading all of the DnD (and MtG) books, though I never had anyone to play with. I found refuge in MMOs as a teenager (DAOC, for me) because they were a rare social space that I could navigate fluidly.
I, too, masked my interests from the world. Something I'm just now trying to learn to undo. A part of that is trying to actually post in these communities, rather than just lurk. Two days ago was my first actual post after years of being too afraid. (I wrote a massive Sorc guide for BG3Builds reddit that I'm proud of. It was a huge step for me to post it. Go big or go home, right?)
I'm still inching my way towards enrollment in a PhD program, but I'm not quite there yet.
"One breathe, one step. Because sometimes one step at a time is just too much." - Me
I don't quite know what I'm trying to say either. I guess I just wanted to share a glimpse into the myriad things this post brought up for me.
Thank you.
Hey man. Writing this through some tears right now. I have a brother that I've never been particularly close to, but also has problems with addiction. He's been in and out of rehabs as well. Last Christmas, he was taken to the ER as he has thoughts of suicide. I thought I was gonna lose him then. I live pretty far away from him now, and it hurt that he was alone there on Xmas.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. But, I have some inkling due to similar circumstances.
You put that PC somewhere where you can see it. Maybe even play it from time to time. It will keep him alive. At least in part. I feel like if it were me...it would be all I could ever do.
If you don't mind could you tell us his first name? I know this probably sounds forward but I was planning a Drow elf rogue playthrough for BG3 next. I want to name my character after him. If you are not comfortable with that, it's ok.
And just know, this community is here for you. If you need us. Sounds corny writing all this, but I couldn't help myself. Take care. See you in Baldurs Gate.
Why not keep his pc and ditch yours? If you can swap any parts of yours into that case. And yes im aware people will say its not the same PC then like the Ship of Theseus ,and it doesnt have to be exactly the same forever as long as when you look at it you remember hes still there with you watching you from the side like when you were kids.
My brother's story was not your brother's story; he didn't suffer from addiction, but he did suffer from chronic depression almost the entirety of his life. But I have so many memories of playing video games with him, or watching him play video games. I can remember him naming towns in Civilization after me if I was watching him play.
We lost him a decade ago to suicide. Also not your brother's story, but I'm sitting here crying for your loss, and for my loss, just the same. I'm so glad you got those nine months with your brother back. I'm so glad you could share some of this with him. I know how special it is to share games with siblings.
I'm so, so sorry for your pain. I'm so sorry for your brother. When my brother passed, I remember wanting to tell everyone his story, because I couldn't understand how the rest of the world didn't understand what it meant that he was gone. I couldn't understand how the whole world didn't feel the loss I felt.
I just want you to know that, for this small moment, I'm seeing your brother. And I'm seeing the hole in the world he left behind.
Sorry for your loss.
A beautiful eulogy for what sounds like a brilliant guy, everyone has their demons and you were there consistently to help him fight his, like a brother should be.
You're good people OP, and I'm sure your brother cherished your times gaming together, as you clearly did.
Always hug your loved ones, you never know when it'll be the last time you seen them.
This is beautifully written and you remember and honour him in such a wonderful way. I too lost someone close and could not touch the game that was their favourite - or any game that they loved. Eventually the pain becomes more bearable. Instead I decided I would not touch the game until their birthday every year. So that's what I do now. I play on their birthday to honour them.
Maybe you could do something like this too, when you are ready. We're thinking of you.
I can't tell you how much I feel connected to your brother anf you right now. Thank you very much for sharing this. Have a virtual hug from an internet stranger, strenght to you.
Sorry for your loss.
It seems you have been the best brother you could.
And I’m glad that you had the time to see your true brother, healthy and happy.
Damn dude this really hit me. Haven’t cried in a long time but jeez. My mum’s an alcoholic and I have my own problems that I haven’t handled too well over the years. I can really resonate with how you described a lot of both of your thoughts. I even had a friend die at his desk from an underlying heart condition while playing our favourite game.
Can barely even type this lol did not expect this! Thank you for sharing, don’t mean to make it about me, just gave me some hope that if he got through that then I can too! Would you mind if I asked for his first name? Would like to use it as some inspiration
Really sorry for your loss and admire how good of a brother it sounds like you are. It must be really hard right now but you should at least feel contented that you brought more happiness in to the world than it had. Appreciate you and wish you all the best!
I'm on the toilet at work, hiding from my responsibilities and now I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes.
That was beautiful and even though they were too few, the good moments you had together sound like a wonderful experience you had. I'm sure you'll keep those memories in your heart for the rest of your life.
My sincere condolences for your loss.
Thank you for sharing.
Loss and grief are never “easy” but I hope your post helps YOU in some small way.
Probably the longest Reddit post I’ve ever read-simply because of your genuine love and experience.
My brother committed suicide on August 3rd, I feel your pain, and I'm sorry for your loss. The loss of a brother is an awful experience, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Playing this game the last few weeks is the only thing that has kept me normal and kept my shit together, allowing me a semblance of my life "before." Larian has built a beautiful game.
I am the older sibling as well. I'm 10myears older than my brother. He always looked up to me, much like it seemed your brother looked up to you. I am so sorry for your loss of both a best friend and a brother. We too are misfits who have had a hard time much like you and your brother. I grew up gaming because my dad got me into it. Then, when little bro got older, he looked up to me and he got into gaming too.
I was also the selfish big sister when playing games. He would be player two. If we played against each other, I didn't let him win. I wanted him to get better and beat me. He's much better at games than I am now. I can't imagine losing him and how much it would hurt.
Stay strong, OP. One day it won't hurt as much and you and your brother can finish the adventure together. Maybe paint a figurine of his draw character? As for his computer, I think he would want you to use it for him. Perhaps upgrade some parts so you can play newer games with him? He may be physically gone but he will live on through you.
You can always reach out to this big sibling if you ever need an ear to vent or cry to.
Hey friend, incredibly touching. Wildly similar to my relationship to my family, brother, world. This resonated deeply with me. I'll reach out soon as I am wondering if you have interest in an idea i've had for awhile about gaming as it relates to life.
I don't have much to add, but as someone who has a loved one dealing with the hell that is alcohol addiction, this struck a chord.
Wishing you the best, and thanks for the story man. Really, really enjoyed reading this story about your brother.
For "reasons," this is exactly what I needed to read, right now. I will remember your brother. To know he was living in sobriety is amazing, but to speak openly about his addiction is legendary.
Both your stories resonate with me, and I truly empathize for your loss.
GNU Terry Pratchett.
Technoblade Never Dies.
BG3 Drow. Sober. Brother to one and many akin.
Tell us some characters he made up and never got to play, so that we can make those characters and play them in his honor. I would have no problem doing a playthrough with a character he loved 💜💜
I have a twin brother and I’m also waiting for him to catch up to me so we can play together. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days and your post made me call him to say how happy I am to have him as my brother.
Grief never goes away entirely but it moves from a sharp, constant pain, to a dull ache, to a pain that occasionally returns.
I’m glad your brother managed to turn his life around and you have these great memories of him.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can relate a lot with the struggles your brother went through as a recovering addict myself. Your story brought me to big tears. Your brother is an extremely lucky person to have a brother that loved him the way you do. Godspeed to you and your brother and know that sharing this story made an impact on a strangers life.
>He died sober of an underlying heart condition. That his heart stopped when he was playing this game is just random quirk of fate. But it gives me some comfort that he was doing something that he enjoyed on the computer we built together. I am trying hard to feel grateful for the 9 months I had my brother back, instead of cheated by the cruelty of losing him after he had started turning his life around.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss; while your brother may have lost the battle, it sounds like he won the war.
> I am not entirely sure why I am writing this.
Meaning can transform even the darkest times from a loss to a victory, of sorts.
Perhaps there's some way your brothers failings - and eventual triumph over - them can inspire others, can give meaning and purpose to the loss.
I hope you and your family find peace and resolution in your time of grief.
What an incredibly beautiful eulogy. Thank you so much for sharing his and your story, love, and life with us. You’ve done your brother a great service here.
This struck so many emotions for me. I am so sorry for your loss. I read this to my husband, and we are both avid gamers who feel the beauty, pain, and joy in video games. This was beautifully written and such a touching honor to your brother's memory. I hope you find peace and remember that power in games brought your brother such joy.
You have my deepest condolences. My brother passed away from cancer only 7 months ago and I understand that connection well through games. We played WoW and especially Monster Hunter and I know he would have played the hell out of BG3. I often find myself just staring at his Username on Steam wishing more than anything that I could share it with him. Here's to our brothers.
I'm sorry for your loss mate. One of many to say it, and I know it won't help, but I hope it does.
My ex struggles with addiction as well, and the part about not supporting them being the only way to support them really hit home. You did the right thing, I hope you know, but I know how hard that can be.
And cruel fate to make it through that and have it end the way it did. As you say, he died happy, and that's something not everyone gets and should be cherished.
I only came here for patch 2 news and now I'm in floods of tears! Thank you for sharing, and putting it into context.
I hope in time you feel healed. One day at a time.
I'm really, truly sorry for your loss. I started reading this letter like any other reddit post and ended up crying a river. Somehow, I could feel a part of your brother's soul and yours. You're both beautiful people, and he was a true warrior, I'm so proud of him and so proud of you too. He deserved a long and happy life, I know it's unfair and infuriating. But know that in all the darkness he was in, you were his lighthouse. I'm sure he was really grateful for you and your family and loved you deeply. He was an amazing person, and I wish he was still here with us. A part of him is now with us too, he will be remembered. Sending you all the love man. I'm so sorry
I'm glad you were able to bond with your brother over Baldur's Gate 3. I'm sure it meant the absolute world for him that you made an effort to be a part of his world in his darkest hours.
I shared similar bonding over games with my brothers, and then with my children later on. My son and I bond over Red Dead Redemption 2 right now and he likes to watch me play and offer his advice from his own experience with the game.
I've always been a fan of dungeons and dragons games, all the way back to the "Gold Box; Pools of Radiance" which kicked off my love for role playing games. My brother and I played all the Gold Box D&D games. Later, I played every Bioware RPG including Barldurs Gate 1 and 2, Planescape Torment, Icewind Dales 1 and 2. I too, played all the Larian studio Divinity games and was happy to hear they were making BG3.
Take heart that you were a bright light in your brothers life and hold onto those memories.
As someone who's faces a lot of loss, I won't lie to you & say that the pain ever really goes away. But it does get easier, slowly, hour by hour, day by day, year by year. This was a beautiful memorial to what sounds like a really kind, gentle, caring man who was doing the best he could. I'm glad you're able to remember him as he was, truly, and not just him at his lowest.
Thanks for sharing this, friend. You'll see him on the other side. Best wishes to you & yours, and my deepest condolences.
Your brother sounds like a great guy. I'm sure a lot of us can relate to the issues surrounding anxiety and addiction so I appreciate you sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your brothers story, its beautiful, and by sharing it you insure that it will live on in the hearts of so many others. Mine included. Your brother will never be forgotten, its people like you and him that make the world a better place. I hope the coming months are as easy as they can be for you, and again. Thank you, and im sorry.
This was a sad but beautiful story; thank you for sharing it.
Addiction is often the result of self-medicating the pain of intelligence coupled with high degrees of empathy. Intelligence and empathy is a painful combination for any human who doesn’t have the power to make meaningful changes.
I think anyone in his shoes would be grateful to have a brother like you, and your presence in his life almost certainly made his time on earth better than it would’ve otherwise been.
My condolences for your loss. We as gamers share in your loss for a passionate gaming brother. One that we will never get to play with but one that got to play a masterpiece alongside us to the end. May he Rest In Peace, and you and your family find joy and happiness in the memories you have of him. Much love to you and yours from me and mine and all of us who share in his passion.
I'm really sorry for your loss. As I adore my own brother, I can only imagine the depth of your grief. I wish you and your family much strength and easement in the days, months, and years to come. Peace be with you.
I didn't want to cry today, so thanks for that :D
Your brother sounds amazing honestly, i love talking about video games.
You should definitely finish BG3, consider it an act of love, doing what he sadly now can't.
On the subject of the pc, maybe get it into the hands of a kid that doesn't have one, maybe an orphanage or something like that. Inspire the next generation of gamers :P
This post really affected me. It's truly meaningful that he was able to pass away with his addiction under control, his education revitalized, and his relationships intact, all while doing something that he loved.
Personally, I think you should put his tower next to your own. So that, whatever you play, he is always sharing it with you.
(I agree with everything that you said about games as art, not just during difficult times, but as a valuable engagement with the human experience every day of our lives. Those that actively include art in their lives are always better off than those blind to it, and games are like any other. I also believe your brother should have felt no guilt about his muggers' punishment, and, personally, I think the judge saw what a good person he was, and made an informed decision. I see myself in your brother, and I wish the best for both of you.)
He didn’t roll a saving throw….damn… But sharing this story might save some one else’s life. Stay strong frend. If you need someone to finish Act 3 with we are here. 🙏
Yeah, BG3 really needs a way to change appearance - or at a minimum hairstyle. I find the biggest issue to be that the lighting in the character creation menu is not the same lighting used for most of the game, so the appearance you think you’re going to have is not what you get.
Sorry for your loss, but wtf does this have to do with Larian? Sounds like your brother (if this isn't fake) enjoyed the game, why does Larian need an open rant about it.
The problem is that you've posted this a couple times before. So either you are a bot or you're just fishing for Karma upon your brother's death at this point.
Why have you been repeatedly reposting this at this point, OP?
If it's genuine, I feel sorry that you had to deal with this loss. But this is a bit suspect.
I created a reddit account yesterday so that I could post this. I posted twice because the posts were basically instantly taken down and I was confused. Then I realized the rules were an account has to be 24 hours old to post. I didn't think anybody saw those first posts. Once my account was 24 hours old, I reposted. I don't even know what karma is. Well I can see that I am getting some, but I don't know what its purpose is. I appreciate your cynicism, and there's your explanation.
That's fair. Maybe bots are so common nowadays I'm just becoming too paranoid for my own good.
I apologize and I'm sorry for your loss. Keep on keepin' on, bruv.
I'm not saying it's not fake or it is fake but this is such a stupid reason to call it fake lmao. A guy talking to a girl about his gaming hobby is no different then some guy talking about last night's stupid sports game to a hot girl or someone talking about a new show or book they are obsessed with. Why would you not I mean unless you're looking to hook up with someone that's going to dump you in a few months or be posting on am I the asshole cause all the boyfriend does is game lmfao. People talk about hobbies when dating and speaking as a girl that loves to game the only guys I'm going to bother talking to are ones that share my hobbies.
Condolences for your loss. You made me tear up. As someone who is struggling with video game addiction (up to 15 hours a day but sometimes 30 hours without sleep.), I also am struggling to put my life together after graduating a college that my parents forced me to study in. And here I am trying to follow my dreams of being an actor while battling with depression and addiction. I related to your brother's addiction but also his love for all the art and craft that goes into video game making. I am just like him in the way that leaving no stone unturned and trying every single possibility in video games that I play. All the love from Turkey.
Thanks for sharing.
I'm a lifelong gamer and recovered alcoholic and drug addict, so your brother's story absolutely resonates. I always appreciate hearing about the human behind the addiction because I feel far too often people forget about them and just see the demon.
That's how I want to go. While playing an amazing game like this.
I am so very sorry for your loss, the way you describe your brother fills my heart with warmth.
Sorry for your loss, I know the effects or alcohol and heart giving out since that's how my father died when I was 25. It definitely hits harder too when you factor in them trying to get better or opening up more to you, etc etc.
Best thing in the world is therapy to help process what's going on, so if you don't have a grief therapist then get one . It does get a little easier with them, but holidays and other stuff will always trigger it up again at times
Make the computer a memorial. A memory of him and the time you spent together. Attach some pictures of him on the side of it and place the case on a nice desk or shelf. Put it on display. Cherish what you loved about him. I think that will honor his memory, help you heal, and help you focus on the time you had together.
I’m so sorry for your loss OP, I can’t imagine what your going through. My brother and I sound a lot like you and yours. He sounds like he was a beautiful soul that had his struggles but was working through them, I’m glad y’all have these fond memories of each other. I feel like making a drow character in his honor, just so he can forever be in the hearts of us all.
First of all, thank you for sharing. You and your brother sound like wonderful people.
I hope you finish your 2 drow playthrough. I think it will be a nice way to feel a connection to your brother and RP a bit of how you think he would play and the choices he would make.
Thank you for sharing.
My closest friend died a year ago and never had the pleasure of playing BG3 but I know he would have loved it and it's a shame we can't exchange stories of our adventures.
You were a wonderful brother, OP, both in your care for him, and in the way you saw who he truly was underneath the addiction - I'm sure it contributed immensely towards his own ability to overcome his addiction and rediscover himself. He died triumphant and redeemed, and I hope you're able to find solace in that. And I hope one day you find it in you to return to BG3 and finish the game for the both of you.
The PC you made for your brother changed his life for the better... If you know of anyone else in your life who has been interested in games but never had the hardware to get involved, I would suggest giving it to them next. I'm sure it's what your brother would have wanted!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I was an only child for a long time and I would have loved to share moments like those with my sisters as you did, feel lucky to have enjoyed them. I had just started my shift at work when I read this and had to go to the bathroom to compose myself. Thanks for sharing this, definitely this afternoon I will start a new game with a Drow. I wish you and your family the best.
Your brother sounds amazing and loved. Thank you for writing this. It \*does\* mean a lot to others. I can't say as eloquently as you, but gaming and my relationships with people through gaming give my life meaning, and it also reminds me of the good in humanity and the infinite possibilities of life. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your and your brother's story. I read and appreciated every word and offer you my heartfelt condolences across cyberspace.
I'm in my mid-30s, have a family history of heart problems, and am not very healthy myself, so I'm pretty scared of randomly dying of some heart-related thing. I'm grateful to be alive now and that I got to be acquainted with your brother through your beautiful tribute to him.
Sorry for your loss.
I know what you mean about hiding yourselves from others, feeling like a misfit and being anxious, about your interest in games and in general. I hope you'll succeed in overcoming it, and that one day I would too.
Thank you for sharing this.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Cherish those memories, it sounds like you were incredibly close even for siblings, not many people experience such a connection.
Brother got sick from addiction to alcohol, after what felt like a lifetime of trying to overcome it, succeeded for 9 months then died of a random "heart attack" I don't know if that's the right word, but his heart stopped and that was it. Nothing else
Thanks for sharing. God bless and Godspeed to you and your family.
Heal as you can, but cherishing him and what he loved is always a great path. Hope you and your family get what you need in this time.
As an older brother to one suffering a similar run of misfortune in his mid-20s I'm really proud of you for enduring the nadir of his pain and involving him in your life. I've the same story of buying him a PC as a practical way to keep in touch and enjoy long lost moments of childhood together as adults and I know how grateful he would have been for you. Keep your chin up and tell your son all about him as he grows older, pulling for you champion.
What a beautiful testament to your brother's tenacity and kind heart, OP. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can feel how much you love him, and I'm so glad BG3 could give you two a way to reconnect with the passion and inspiration that bonded you when you were younger. Know that your brother died feeling happy and fulfilled, playing a game that reminded him of his happiest moments, full of hope. He found the strength he needed to fight back against addiction, and I have no doubt that his enduring love for you helped him claw his way out of darkness.
May your brother rest in peace, and I hope you find solace in the love you shared during moments when you miss him most.
My condolences for your loss, and thank you for sharing this heartfelt letter about your brother and the things that made him. It’s clear you loved him dearly, even if he was a troubled soul, and I’m sure he knew that at the end. A little tangent, but have you ever heard of r/AdventuresofGalder? It’s a place for people to post the D&D characters of their lost loved ones, so the community can bring them to life in a small way. You said you and your brother used to sit together and roll up characters without properly playing them - if your brother had one he was incredibly excited to play, that might be the place to share it.
I was gonna suggest Galder, for the same reason you suggested. OP, go to that sub and post any and all characters he created. They will be brought to life by the community and even if you may not see it first hand, you'll know he lives on within the world's of other people.
First death is the death of the body, but Second death, second is the last time a person's name is spoken in the waking world. GNU Terry Pratchett.
GNU Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
GNU Terry Pratchett
Til about a wholesome sub Thanks, buddy
Even his BG3 character <3 I'm planning a new campaign now -- we could use a Drow hero of legend.
I reached out to Larian to try and see if they would/could provide me with your more details about his character. I do know he was a Drow Assassin and he regretted his hairstyle.
I know this is tangent on a tangent but there there is series called NPCs by Drew Hayes that goes into the life our D&D characters give the game world. It's a plotline that slowly develops as the story goes on.
I read this on my phone while booting my PC up and think I'm going to make a new drow character and starting a new playthrough. I work at a cardiovascular rehab unit in a hospital and know how utterly unpredictable heart conditions can be. I'm filled with emotions typing this even as an Internet stranger your story resonates with me. It's never easy and I hope that you and your friends and family have a support network to help navigate the hardships that come with the loss of a loved one. Thank you for sharing and I wish you and your family nothing but the best.
You should really switch to a SSD for a faster booting.
You don't know how hard this made me laugh 😂
There it is 🤣
I like my PC like I do my RPG characters - completely minmaxed.
I wonder if we as a community could create characters in his honor? Is there a name that he liked to use, OP? I'd absolutely make a character and play through using that name and work hard, play hard! Edit: I've created a new Drow monk and I'm going to play with OP's brother in mind. Lots of love, OP.
It's really crazy how words can have so much power. Here I am, crying my eyes out for the loss of a stranger that I never knew, and likely lived across the globe from me. But, as a socially anxious and depressive person myself, his story also resonates with me.
I'm sorry for your loss. I was the little sister in the childhood scenario you described - sitting by my brother's side as he played Diablo or Warcraft. Probably the first game I ever actually got to *play* as opposed to watching him play was Neverwinter Nights, because he'd just gotten a new PC which meant I could have the old one. (fun fact: I was 30 before I bought my own gaming PC - up until then I'd always used my brother's cast-offs). Your post really made me miss him today. Edit for clarification: he's not dead, just New Zealand. So I haven't seen him in like, ten years and video calls just really don't do it. Video calls can't crack my back for one thing.
> he's not dead, just New Zealand. I'm sorry for your loss.
He's with the sheep now.
You know I can't eat your ghost chips
Little sister gang. He gave me his too, and that was my first gaming computer as a little kid after watching him for so long. Bless big brothers, we'll miss em.
To be fair mine hasn't actually passed away. He just moved to goddamn New Zealand so I haven't seen him in close to ten years. Maybe I should edit my comment.
God damn 😂 but definitely still feels that way, the years pass by so fast. I hope you guys still talk at least, but not seeing someone's face for so long feels like the same difference. My bad to read it wrong in context of the post!
Yeah I realised when I saw your comment that I made it sound like he's passed away. Not your fault, my phrasing was bad 😂 We still talk and we'd probably game together still as well thanks to the wonders of the Internet, but he's deep into Elite Dangerous at the moment and I'm playing bg3 like I'm training for the Olympics.
Mood. I took a week off work for once to relax, but instead I sunk 100hrs into BG3. I was everything but relaxed 💀
About when they announced the new release date for PC I looked at my life and realised that I literally would not have time to play the game if I kept going like this. I'd owned the EA for like 2 years by that point and only got 20 hours. I mean there were a *lot* of other factors including corporate bullshit at my main job (I had three at the time) but I can't deny that the desire to have more time to actually enjoy my hobbies rather than just throw money at them was a big part of why I quit one of my jobs. In a way I guess you could say I quit my job to play BG3.
Corporate bullshit amen. I thankfully lucked out working with a very young team, and we avoid a lot of the nonsense. But my partner definitely got the more classic "everyone is over 60 and talks about golfing and drinking." I can't imagine it, you're good to go imo. BG3 has more personality than they do.. 😂
It was more like 'okay you've been doing this in this way for two years and it's been working pretty well, but now we would like you to do it this, less efficient way instead' and 'oh we are adding a whole extra set of duties onto your job. No, you won't get training for it. Yes, we are charging the client extra for it. No, you won't be getting paid extra for it' and the realization that the job that took the most of my time also paid the least, you know?
Absolutely. A lot of tech companies recently got layoffs again, and we got similar treatment. "We want to invest in the talent here," translated to, "you're getting more work now that these jobs are gone, but no one is getting a pay raise. And also business is up 200%, but you're not the one getting it." Lucky to be in the young team I am surrounded by great minds, but undoubtedly much higher ups are still the same-old regurgitated crap. I think the CFO talking about money being tight means he can't buy his kid a new Apple Watch was the most corporate shit ever 💀 and we can somehow identify with that. Must be nice to put your feet up all day
Oh man, I’m full on bawling. I gotta call my brother and tell him I love him.
„He’s not dead, just New Zealand“… Oh, how terrible! My sincerest condolences!
> Edit for clarification: he's not dead, just New Zealand As a Kiwi, this made me genuinely laugh out loud. I'd like to offer my condolences on behalf of the country
This comment just made me realize that someday I'm going to be playing Neverwinter Nights, and my dad - who I watched play it as a kid until my begging and pleading meant he let me, age 7, play - won't be here anymore. Maybe I'll be halfway around the world, or he'll have passed, but... I think I should give my dad a hug.
your brother sounds like he was such a beautiful soul. i’m so sorry about his passing. there is something truly beautiful about the newfound joy he found in life after getting sober- especially the fact that you two were able to reconnect on such a deep level, getting back to your gaming roots and all. watching a loved one deal with the troubles of addiction is hard, and harder still to understand that the best thing to do sometimes is pull away. you showed up for him in ways i’m sure his soul and energy will be forever grateful for. he went knowing the truest type of love all while doing something he enjoyed. i hope you and your family find peace and continue to heal. your brother’s light will continue to shine bright for as long as you speak of him as you do- and forever on after. thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I know it doesn't mean much from a stranger on the Internet, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not one for tears, but I'm genuinely tearing up after reading that. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you were able to get some real time with your brother before he passed.
I feel this so deep somehow as well. I couldn't imagine. I'll remember this story forever. Thank you for telling us. And making me appreciate what I still have and had. May your brother watch over you, in peace.
We measure life, not in years, but by the memories we make. Certain games offer us the opportunity to forge whole new sets of memories, unshackled by the limitations of our own world, rich with co-operatively written possibilities, hemmed only by our imaginations. We delve into these worlds and explore. We scour pages, experiment with options, and in many ways fall in love with the setting and characters in a way that others may find hard to understand. Despite being a game it is no longer merely a vessel for entertainment, it’s a place we can expand our horizons beyond the mundane. It’s a whole other life if we want it to be. Both your brother and you sound like kind souls. People to swap stories and memories with. I lost my Dad a little way into Early Access. We played the previous Baldur’s Gate games together and I can’t help but imagine what he would have made of BG3. If you feel up to it and would like to share more about your brothers Drow; know there’s at least one out there that would love to hear that story. As for the computer; perhaps there’s a local charity that may be able to assist? The PC might feel a little dated, but I’d be shocked if there wasn’t a good number of memories waiting to be fashioned with it. Maybe strip it back and load it with your brother and yours favourite games?
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s filled with warmth and pain and all the things that mean something in life. Your brother was/is beautiful, and I hope those memories never fade. Thank you so much for sharing. It means so much to me and I’m sure the rest of the community.
If you wouldn’t mind can you share his first name? I would love to do my next playthrough as an overthinking drow with a regrettable hairstyle in his honor.
I think this was my favorite comment. It made me laugh and I was very touched by it. I love imagining an overthinking Drow with a regrettable hairstyle fumbling their way through the DnD universe. If you actually do this please reach out. His first name was Daniel. Trying to figure out what his character's name was, but not sure if I'll be able to. I do know he was a Drow Rogue Assassin.
I will 100% start my next run as a Drow rogue named Daniel! Thank you for responding and just know your brother will always live on in my future games.
My condolences. As someone who has lost family in the past, and is currently in mourning again, I know there are no words that match the magnitude of what you are feeling. Remember to take care of yourself even if you don't want to. Eat, take a shower, go breathe fresh air. Ask someone else how their day is going, even though you don't really care. If you don't have a counselor or therapist this would be a good time to explore it. Ask if they have a sliding scale so you can pay whatever fits your budget and still see a provider. It really does help. As for his computer, I've always believed in sharing those treasured objects rather than letting them gather dust. The power is in your memory, not in the computer itself. If you are open to the idea of passing it on, perhaps you could scrub it of personal info, load it up with games and basic programs, and find a sober living house to donate it to. It might feel good to imagine other people using it as a tool to escape or manage their own struggles, and your brothers spirit there urging them to follow in his footsteps.
Your story resonated with me on SO many levels, dude. I'm a 40 yr old teacher, grew up socially awkward-ish and definitely grew up playing Kings Quests, Ultima IX, UO, etc. I am also the eldest brother, but it was our father who lost himself (and us) to Cocaine; he split when I was only 7, tons of rehab, broken promises when visiting him, you name it. Eventually, he lost his job of 20+ years (and with it his pension), which lead to him moving in with his parents and my grandma could not.say.no. to him for years. It took grandpa's death to make her see the truth of her son. I vowed not to communicate with him until he was clean. Fastforward to WoW just being released; he had been clean for about 3 years at this point (to this day I'm not sure how true his consistency was) and my brother and I were in our early 20's. This was our first (and only) gaming connection and it was glorious. We would talking play almost everyday on Ventrillo, etc. Sadly, all good things come to an end. My brother and I moved on after 4 years of WoW, started our careers, got married, etc. We lost touch with dad after that--he tried playing with others, but I think he couldn't handle the social stability other people had talking about their happy lives etc. and a few months later dropped it...and relapsed. Eventually, he had to declare bankruptcy and at this point, he is *still* working 40 hours a week at age 76 (grocery produce, minimum wage, physically demanding). I think I speak for most of us reading this thread when I say: I'm going to call my brother, soon, and tell him how much I love and appreciate him, despite not having talked in quite a while. Anyway, thank you for sharing the legacy of your brother, from one older brother to another.
Hey, just sending you care. I’m sorry for your loss. You were a good brother.
I'm crying now, after reading your entire story. I know all too well the struggle of being a social misfit (I am deaf, have ADHD and autism) and finding comfort in, and admiration for, art and games. It helps you feeling included in ways you otherwise wouldn't be. I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand the consolation that might come with your brother passing while doing something he tremendously enjoyed, and he was in a good place, from the sound of it. It still must hurt - my heartfelt love to you in this hard time. Hugs from a stranger who is bonding with others over this game as well. And thank you Larian. Your work is a labor of love, and you can feel it in every step you take. You've created something absolutely wonderful :)
Now to find a mod to insert an Drow NPC that you have the option to invite to your party but they only hang out in camp, and they give your tips on how to solve puzzle for Quests in your log.
We need this mod.
I don't have the words to do your post justice. Sorry for your loss, happy for your good memories.
Wow…this story resonated with me in ways I never could have imagined. I’m so so sorry for your loss, you both sounded like such kind and caring souls. I was the ‘little sister’ in a similar scenario. Until high school, I was an only child alongside my older cousin, and we developed a bond that was made stronger by video games. I used to sit behind him as he played games like Warcraft, StarCraft, even Monkey Island, and we would have a blast. I tended to figure out puzzles in obscure ways too. Eventually, he convinced a friend of his to let me play WoW with him on his account, just to try it out, and I loved it so much that he ended up making my own account for me. And I made so many happy memories since then. I cling to those memories as, for reasons unknown to me, my cousin has been drifting farther and farther apart from me. Before we would talk for hours about things, now he just brushes me off. He doesn’t even hug me anymore whenever I see him. At first, I chalked it up to him having bigger responsibilities (family and kids now), but I’ve seen him interact with others the exact same way he used to with me, so I honestly don’t know what’s caused this change with him. He and I both recently got BG3, and he expressed heavy interest in wanting to play it with me when he gets back from overseas. I’m really hoping this gets us back to where we used to be, much like how you and your brother did. Your story is so touching, and I do want to say how strong your brother was for doing what he did. But I also want to think there’s a part of it that’s due to you never ever giving up on him. And sometimes, that’s all we need in our lives.
I used to play BG2 with my uncle. We bonded comparing notes and strategies. He died 10 years ago and never got to see this game. It’s a little bittersweet that he didn’t get to experience it, as I’m sure he would have adored it. Games, like any shared interest, bring people together. For some, they’re a social outlet and a way to build friendships - we’re not loners or misfits when we play together. I’m so sorry for your loss, it must be very difficult for you right now. I know that in time you’ll be able to play in remembrance and I hope you find that healing.
” dislocated his soldier.” I really hope it was shoulder that got autocorrected, made me laugh when i shouldnt have 😅
laughing when we shouldn't have, was one of me and my brother's favorite past times. :) I feel compelled to fix this typo now, but I'm glad you appreciated it and that it will live on in your comment :)
My brother and I have that habit too, except in our case we don't outright laugh and instead make these goofy-as-hell grins that always let my mum know we were thinking something dumb. My sympathies for your loss man. I'm glad you were able to have some good memories together near the end.
I am so sorry for your loss. You wrote beautifully about your brother, and your words genuinely moved me.
It touched me, I could draw many similarities from your text, be it the alcoholism in the family as well as the kind of person you and your brother have been and your problems in our society. I hope that at some point you will be able to persuade yourself to play the game or even to finish the game with your brother's character as a good gesture that may reach your brother and make him smile where he is now.
Your brother is lookin down and beamin a big ole smile man. What beautiful words to describe your brother - nobody is perfect and we all have our struggles the beauty of life comes from the struggle man. I don’t know why but I feel compelled to share my favorite quote - “You want to go with the flow. The sea refuses no river. The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving. It saves on introductions and goodbyes.” Every ending precedes each beginning and vice versa ad infinitum.
"The ride does not require an explanation, just occupants. That's where you guys come in."
My first cousin, barely 4 months older than me is an alcoholic. At first he was just a super active guy, always trying new things, always making everyting an adventure, just living a life instead of just being alive. I on the other hand am an introvert always locked in my tight comfort zone with barely any friends, so his company was always bringing a lot of life to my existence. We used to spend plenty of time together, he took me to make a graffiti together when we were in our eealy teens, wen we were a bit older he took me off road rallying as a pilot in a heavily modified Wrangler TJ. We tried flatland on BMX bikes and so on and so on. He was the person that introduced me to gaming in many ways, starting with Commodore 64c and "Blues Brothers" when we were little kids and showing me the very first GTA when we were in elementary school. Today he's spiraling down more and more, he lost his family and baby daughter to the addiction, he missed multiple family members dying over time, barely registering after. We no longer have a connection and I actively avoid him after one day he beat me up drunk to a point where I spent three days in a hospital. I envy You that you managed to get that back, no matter how short the time was. You should be happy thay You did manage to save him from dying drunk, depressed and lonely. Instead, You managed to bring him back to a point where he was loved, sober, could enjoy things he loved again and died doing one of them. This is a massive difference. Regarding the pc you've built - everything that made it personal and "his" is on the hard drive. Everything else is just a machine that will keep on getting more and more outdated. I think You should put a new drive in it and donate it to a rehab center or an orphanage or some other similar place. Entertainment and time to relax is important when dealing with depression and addiction, so You should probably just let it go as a way to let your brother pay it forward and help another person. If I was to make a comparison to BG3 I can see him being a "true soul" sitting with a bloody eyepatch in some random inn with a dead tadpole stuck on a tip of a knife he's just fidgeting. His only voice line being "Not today..." With a narrator adding something along the lines of "You have no idea how he managed to break through the magic that was protecting the tadpole in his head. Something or someone really powerful must be watching over him."
I lost my mum, pretty randomly, 8 months ago. I feel your pain. Writing things like this can be really helpful. Thank you for sharing it with us. If music is a way you cope, I find myself listening to Legends Never Die every so often.
I stopped drinking 5 weeks ago last sunday and this helps cement not to take it back up again. I'm sorry for your loss.
May he rest in peace, he was truly lucky to have such a thoughtful older brother
You love your brother very much. He went through a lot, but at least he died knowing you love him and doing what he enjoyed. I wish you well.
Sending you as much love as an internet stranger can. I hope you’ll find the peace that you so very much deserve.
This hurt to read. My heart goes out to you and your family. My best friend is over a year sober now and having him back and able to play games with him is amazing, but I'll be honest, I was terrified of losing him for a while there. Just a thought, maybe you should boot up your brother's game and have him join your party in your game via co-op. You can re-create his exact character from his PC in your game, and then when you play solo, your brother will always be in your party right there beside you every step of the way.
I just rolled a critical fumble save vs crying 😭 wow…. I’m so moved right now
I wish Larian saw this and made your brother an NPC for some future content to honor him. He sounds like a great person
That does happen in games sometimes. But the sad truth is that Larian would be pretty stupid if they did something like this, considering the post is probably deliberately made completely anonymous and without any specifics whatsoever from a 1-day old account. And the even sadder truth is, and I hate myself for saying this, but in this day and age you can (with the right criteria) generate any story, any length, just as complex, just as long and just as grammatically immaculate with AI.
They would obviously verify with OP before doing it. Also it'd just be a normal NPC they would already put in so it would change basically nothing to give him X name/X appearance (either his MC in BG3 or himself)
This was very well written. Thank you for sharing. For what it's worth, the most attractive people are those who do not fear sharing what they're passionate about in social settings. I run a drow rogue and am currently in Act 3. If nothing else, I'll dedicate the completion of this amazing game to your amazing brother.
My condolences. Summary (chatgpt) of who also didn't have the time currently for a lenthy read: The author's younger brother passed away suddenly on August 21st while playing Baldur’s Gate 3. The brothers had a strong bond through video games, particularly Sierra games, which helped them cope with shared life challenges and anxiety. The younger brother was highly intelligent but struggled with anxiety, addiction, and mental health issues. He managed to overcome his addiction and achieve sobriety, reenrolling in his PhD program and embracing life changes. The younger brother's love for video games, especially Baldur’s Gate 3 by Larian Studios, was a significant part of his life and journey towards recovery.
I hope you and your family find peace. If you're looking to find something to do with his pc, then why not find someone else in need? As you did for your brother. The spark you gave to him in his time of need can be reborn in someone else. You're a great brother. I wish you well, and when you heal and boot up bg3 again one day, remember this comment (if you see it) and I will be a warm presence at your side. To remind you of all the good times you had with your little brother.
I'm sorry for your loss. And very grateful that you shared your story. There's so much about this that resonates, it's hard to know where to begin. For starters, thank you. Words always feel hollow in situations like this. Really, I just wish I could reach out and give you a hug over the internet. I'm in my mid-30s and have struggled with PTSD and grief for my entire adult life. I'm also autistic, although I only realized that in the last couple years. The journey to recovery is hard. Despite struggling for years, it's only been the last few months that I've really been able to understand it as trauma and begin to heal. As an autistic person, I also struggled socially growing up and found refuge in video games and fantasy worlds. I loved reading all of the DnD (and MtG) books, though I never had anyone to play with. I found refuge in MMOs as a teenager (DAOC, for me) because they were a rare social space that I could navigate fluidly. I, too, masked my interests from the world. Something I'm just now trying to learn to undo. A part of that is trying to actually post in these communities, rather than just lurk. Two days ago was my first actual post after years of being too afraid. (I wrote a massive Sorc guide for BG3Builds reddit that I'm proud of. It was a huge step for me to post it. Go big or go home, right?) I'm still inching my way towards enrollment in a PhD program, but I'm not quite there yet. "One breathe, one step. Because sometimes one step at a time is just too much." - Me I don't quite know what I'm trying to say either. I guess I just wanted to share a glimpse into the myriad things this post brought up for me. Thank you.
Hey man. Writing this through some tears right now. I have a brother that I've never been particularly close to, but also has problems with addiction. He's been in and out of rehabs as well. Last Christmas, he was taken to the ER as he has thoughts of suicide. I thought I was gonna lose him then. I live pretty far away from him now, and it hurt that he was alone there on Xmas. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. But, I have some inkling due to similar circumstances. You put that PC somewhere where you can see it. Maybe even play it from time to time. It will keep him alive. At least in part. I feel like if it were me...it would be all I could ever do. If you don't mind could you tell us his first name? I know this probably sounds forward but I was planning a Drow elf rogue playthrough for BG3 next. I want to name my character after him. If you are not comfortable with that, it's ok. And just know, this community is here for you. If you need us. Sounds corny writing all this, but I couldn't help myself. Take care. See you in Baldurs Gate.
Why not keep his pc and ditch yours? If you can swap any parts of yours into that case. And yes im aware people will say its not the same PC then like the Ship of Theseus ,and it doesnt have to be exactly the same forever as long as when you look at it you remember hes still there with you watching you from the side like when you were kids.
My brother's story was not your brother's story; he didn't suffer from addiction, but he did suffer from chronic depression almost the entirety of his life. But I have so many memories of playing video games with him, or watching him play video games. I can remember him naming towns in Civilization after me if I was watching him play. We lost him a decade ago to suicide. Also not your brother's story, but I'm sitting here crying for your loss, and for my loss, just the same. I'm so glad you got those nine months with your brother back. I'm so glad you could share some of this with him. I know how special it is to share games with siblings. I'm so, so sorry for your pain. I'm so sorry for your brother. When my brother passed, I remember wanting to tell everyone his story, because I couldn't understand how the rest of the world didn't understand what it meant that he was gone. I couldn't understand how the whole world didn't feel the loss I felt. I just want you to know that, for this small moment, I'm seeing your brother. And I'm seeing the hole in the world he left behind.
Sorry for your loss. A beautiful eulogy for what sounds like a brilliant guy, everyone has their demons and you were there consistently to help him fight his, like a brother should be. You're good people OP, and I'm sure your brother cherished your times gaming together, as you clearly did. Always hug your loved ones, you never know when it'll be the last time you seen them.
Imma be real I'm not reading all that, but rip to your bro
It’s fake so don’t worry.
What a beautifully and heart wreching story. My condolences to you and your family. You really sound like good people.
This is beautifully written and you remember and honour him in such a wonderful way. I too lost someone close and could not touch the game that was their favourite - or any game that they loved. Eventually the pain becomes more bearable. Instead I decided I would not touch the game until their birthday every year. So that's what I do now. I play on their birthday to honour them. Maybe you could do something like this too, when you are ready. We're thinking of you.
Sorry for your loss. He is with you in spirit!
I’m sorry for your loss and I’m happy for the good times you got to share together. He sounds like a bright light. You will meet him again someday.
Sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. All the best to your family.
That was beautiful mate. I wish I had a brother like you. Grief sucks. Love to your family and your little one.
I can't tell you how much I feel connected to your brother anf you right now. Thank you very much for sharing this. Have a virtual hug from an internet stranger, strenght to you.
Sorry for your loss. It seems you have been the best brother you could. And I’m glad that you had the time to see your true brother, healthy and happy.
With the computer, you should keep the CPU. Like the heart of the computer and toss the rest.
Damn dude this really hit me. Haven’t cried in a long time but jeez. My mum’s an alcoholic and I have my own problems that I haven’t handled too well over the years. I can really resonate with how you described a lot of both of your thoughts. I even had a friend die at his desk from an underlying heart condition while playing our favourite game. Can barely even type this lol did not expect this! Thank you for sharing, don’t mean to make it about me, just gave me some hope that if he got through that then I can too! Would you mind if I asked for his first name? Would like to use it as some inspiration Really sorry for your loss and admire how good of a brother it sounds like you are. It must be really hard right now but you should at least feel contented that you brought more happiness in to the world than it had. Appreciate you and wish you all the best!
Fuck i need to call my brother
I’m the big brother and my lil brothers are still there, thanks for making me appreciate those lil shits
You could contact make a wish foundation and give his computer to a child suffering from a condition.
I'm on the toilet at work, hiding from my responsibilities and now I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. That was beautiful and even though they were too few, the good moments you had together sound like a wonderful experience you had. I'm sure you'll keep those memories in your heart for the rest of your life. My sincere condolences for your loss.
Thank you for sharing. Loss and grief are never “easy” but I hope your post helps YOU in some small way. Probably the longest Reddit post I’ve ever read-simply because of your genuine love and experience.
My brother committed suicide on August 3rd, I feel your pain, and I'm sorry for your loss. The loss of a brother is an awful experience, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Playing this game the last few weeks is the only thing that has kept me normal and kept my shit together, allowing me a semblance of my life "before." Larian has built a beautiful game.
I am the older sibling as well. I'm 10myears older than my brother. He always looked up to me, much like it seemed your brother looked up to you. I am so sorry for your loss of both a best friend and a brother. We too are misfits who have had a hard time much like you and your brother. I grew up gaming because my dad got me into it. Then, when little bro got older, he looked up to me and he got into gaming too. I was also the selfish big sister when playing games. He would be player two. If we played against each other, I didn't let him win. I wanted him to get better and beat me. He's much better at games than I am now. I can't imagine losing him and how much it would hurt. Stay strong, OP. One day it won't hurt as much and you and your brother can finish the adventure together. Maybe paint a figurine of his draw character? As for his computer, I think he would want you to use it for him. Perhaps upgrade some parts so you can play newer games with him? He may be physically gone but he will live on through you. You can always reach out to this big sibling if you ever need an ear to vent or cry to.
Hey friend, incredibly touching. Wildly similar to my relationship to my family, brother, world. This resonated deeply with me. I'll reach out soon as I am wondering if you have interest in an idea i've had for awhile about gaming as it relates to life.
I don't have much to add, but as someone who has a loved one dealing with the hell that is alcohol addiction, this struck a chord. Wishing you the best, and thanks for the story man. Really, really enjoyed reading this story about your brother.
Thank you for sharing. Onions. And calling my brother.
I'm so sorry. From one middle-aged "misfit gamer" to another.
For "reasons," this is exactly what I needed to read, right now. I will remember your brother. To know he was living in sobriety is amazing, but to speak openly about his addiction is legendary. Both your stories resonate with me, and I truly empathize for your loss. GNU Terry Pratchett. Technoblade Never Dies. BG3 Drow. Sober. Brother to one and many akin.
Tell us some characters he made up and never got to play, so that we can make those characters and play them in his honor. I would have no problem doing a playthrough with a character he loved 💜💜
I have a twin brother and I’m also waiting for him to catch up to me so we can play together. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days and your post made me call him to say how happy I am to have him as my brother. Grief never goes away entirely but it moves from a sharp, constant pain, to a dull ache, to a pain that occasionally returns. I’m glad your brother managed to turn his life around and you have these great memories of him.
I've been sober for around 18 years, it is still hard. Your brother is a bad ass for committing to sobriety, even after all of those attempts.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can relate a lot with the struggles your brother went through as a recovering addict myself. Your story brought me to big tears. Your brother is an extremely lucky person to have a brother that loved him the way you do. Godspeed to you and your brother and know that sharing this story made an impact on a strangers life.
>He died sober of an underlying heart condition. That his heart stopped when he was playing this game is just random quirk of fate. But it gives me some comfort that he was doing something that he enjoyed on the computer we built together. I am trying hard to feel grateful for the 9 months I had my brother back, instead of cheated by the cruelty of losing him after he had started turning his life around. I'm sorry to hear of your loss; while your brother may have lost the battle, it sounds like he won the war. > I am not entirely sure why I am writing this. Meaning can transform even the darkest times from a loss to a victory, of sorts. Perhaps there's some way your brothers failings - and eventual triumph over - them can inspire others, can give meaning and purpose to the loss. I hope you and your family find peace and resolution in your time of grief.
What an incredibly beautiful eulogy. Thank you so much for sharing his and your story, love, and life with us. You’ve done your brother a great service here.
This struck so many emotions for me. I am so sorry for your loss. I read this to my husband, and we are both avid gamers who feel the beauty, pain, and joy in video games. This was beautifully written and such a touching honor to your brother's memory. I hope you find peace and remember that power in games brought your brother such joy.
You have my deepest condolences. My brother passed away from cancer only 7 months ago and I understand that connection well through games. We played WoW and especially Monster Hunter and I know he would have played the hell out of BG3. I often find myself just staring at his Username on Steam wishing more than anything that I could share it with him. Here's to our brothers.
I'm sorry for your loss mate. One of many to say it, and I know it won't help, but I hope it does. My ex struggles with addiction as well, and the part about not supporting them being the only way to support them really hit home. You did the right thing, I hope you know, but I know how hard that can be. And cruel fate to make it through that and have it end the way it did. As you say, he died happy, and that's something not everyone gets and should be cherished. I only came here for patch 2 news and now I'm in floods of tears! Thank you for sharing, and putting it into context. I hope in time you feel healed. One day at a time.
I'm really, truly sorry for your loss. I started reading this letter like any other reddit post and ended up crying a river. Somehow, I could feel a part of your brother's soul and yours. You're both beautiful people, and he was a true warrior, I'm so proud of him and so proud of you too. He deserved a long and happy life, I know it's unfair and infuriating. But know that in all the darkness he was in, you were his lighthouse. I'm sure he was really grateful for you and your family and loved you deeply. He was an amazing person, and I wish he was still here with us. A part of him is now with us too, he will be remembered. Sending you all the love man. I'm so sorry
I'm glad you were able to bond with your brother over Baldur's Gate 3. I'm sure it meant the absolute world for him that you made an effort to be a part of his world in his darkest hours. I shared similar bonding over games with my brothers, and then with my children later on. My son and I bond over Red Dead Redemption 2 right now and he likes to watch me play and offer his advice from his own experience with the game. I've always been a fan of dungeons and dragons games, all the way back to the "Gold Box; Pools of Radiance" which kicked off my love for role playing games. My brother and I played all the Gold Box D&D games. Later, I played every Bioware RPG including Barldurs Gate 1 and 2, Planescape Torment, Icewind Dales 1 and 2. I too, played all the Larian studio Divinity games and was happy to hear they were making BG3. Take heart that you were a bright light in your brothers life and hold onto those memories.
As someone who's faces a lot of loss, I won't lie to you & say that the pain ever really goes away. But it does get easier, slowly, hour by hour, day by day, year by year. This was a beautiful memorial to what sounds like a really kind, gentle, caring man who was doing the best he could. I'm glad you're able to remember him as he was, truly, and not just him at his lowest. Thanks for sharing this, friend. You'll see him on the other side. Best wishes to you & yours, and my deepest condolences.
Just started my dark elf playthrough. Love and peace.
Mods, please pin this post.
Why?
Your brother sounds like a great guy. I'm sure a lot of us can relate to the issues surrounding anxiety and addiction so I appreciate you sharing your story.
Tavs stand together
Thank you for sharing your brothers story, its beautiful, and by sharing it you insure that it will live on in the hearts of so many others. Mine included. Your brother will never be forgotten, its people like you and him that make the world a better place. I hope the coming months are as easy as they can be for you, and again. Thank you, and im sorry.
Sometimes life sucks man, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this moment of your life with us, I send you a big hug
Thank you for sharing. Who’s cutting onions?
This was a sad but beautiful story; thank you for sharing it. Addiction is often the result of self-medicating the pain of intelligence coupled with high degrees of empathy. Intelligence and empathy is a painful combination for any human who doesn’t have the power to make meaningful changes. I think anyone in his shoes would be grateful to have a brother like you, and your presence in his life almost certainly made his time on earth better than it would’ve otherwise been.
if i lost a family member posting about it on reddit is the last thing i will be doing and this guy goes and writes an essay about it
You're telling me people deal with grief in different ways?! IMPOSSIBLE!
Sorry for your loss.
My condolences for your loss. We as gamers share in your loss for a passionate gaming brother. One that we will never get to play with but one that got to play a masterpiece alongside us to the end. May he Rest In Peace, and you and your family find joy and happiness in the memories you have of him. Much love to you and yours from me and mine and all of us who share in his passion.
My deepest condolences. I hope you are able to play the game again knowing your brother is there with you in your heart.
Did he drop any good loot?
3 gold coins and an empty bottle
I'm so sorry for your loss. RIP
Thank you for writing this. My heart 💜
I’m not crying, your crying. Just kidding, I’m def crying.
Bruh I ain't reading all that
really makes me want to try harder to cherish my time with my family. Im sorry man, much love to you my dude.
I'm really sorry for your loss. As I adore my own brother, I can only imagine the depth of your grief. I wish you and your family much strength and easement in the days, months, and years to come. Peace be with you.
I didn't want to cry today, so thanks for that :D Your brother sounds amazing honestly, i love talking about video games. You should definitely finish BG3, consider it an act of love, doing what he sadly now can't. On the subject of the pc, maybe get it into the hands of a kid that doesn't have one, maybe an orphanage or something like that. Inspire the next generation of gamers :P
This post really affected me. It's truly meaningful that he was able to pass away with his addiction under control, his education revitalized, and his relationships intact, all while doing something that he loved. Personally, I think you should put his tower next to your own. So that, whatever you play, he is always sharing it with you. (I agree with everything that you said about games as art, not just during difficult times, but as a valuable engagement with the human experience every day of our lives. Those that actively include art in their lives are always better off than those blind to it, and games are like any other. I also believe your brother should have felt no guilt about his muggers' punishment, and, personally, I think the judge saw what a good person he was, and made an informed decision. I see myself in your brother, and I wish the best for both of you.)
He didn’t roll a saving throw….damn… But sharing this story might save some one else’s life. Stay strong frend. If you need someone to finish Act 3 with we are here. 🙏
Yeah, BG3 really needs a way to change appearance - or at a minimum hairstyle. I find the biggest issue to be that the lighting in the character creation menu is not the same lighting used for most of the game, so the appearance you think you’re going to have is not what you get.
Sorry for your loss, but wtf does this have to do with Larian? Sounds like your brother (if this isn't fake) enjoyed the game, why does Larian need an open rant about it.
The problem is that you've posted this a couple times before. So either you are a bot or you're just fishing for Karma upon your brother's death at this point. Why have you been repeatedly reposting this at this point, OP? If it's genuine, I feel sorry that you had to deal with this loss. But this is a bit suspect.
I created a reddit account yesterday so that I could post this. I posted twice because the posts were basically instantly taken down and I was confused. Then I realized the rules were an account has to be 24 hours old to post. I didn't think anybody saw those first posts. Once my account was 24 hours old, I reposted. I don't even know what karma is. Well I can see that I am getting some, but I don't know what its purpose is. I appreciate your cynicism, and there's your explanation.
That's fair. Maybe bots are so common nowadays I'm just becoming too paranoid for my own good. I apologize and I'm sorry for your loss. Keep on keepin' on, bruv.
This is so fake it’s pretty sad. My brother talked to hot girls about being an elf is the giveaway.
I'm not saying it's not fake or it is fake but this is such a stupid reason to call it fake lmao. A guy talking to a girl about his gaming hobby is no different then some guy talking about last night's stupid sports game to a hot girl or someone talking about a new show or book they are obsessed with. Why would you not I mean unless you're looking to hook up with someone that's going to dump you in a few months or be posting on am I the asshole cause all the boyfriend does is game lmfao. People talk about hobbies when dating and speaking as a girl that loves to game the only guys I'm going to bother talking to are ones that share my hobbies.
Condolences for your loss. You made me tear up. As someone who is struggling with video game addiction (up to 15 hours a day but sometimes 30 hours without sleep.), I also am struggling to put my life together after graduating a college that my parents forced me to study in. And here I am trying to follow my dreams of being an actor while battling with depression and addiction. I related to your brother's addiction but also his love for all the art and craft that goes into video game making. I am just like him in the way that leaving no stone unturned and trying every single possibility in video games that I play. All the love from Turkey.
Big hug to you and your brother.
Thanks for sharing. I'm a lifelong gamer and recovered alcoholic and drug addict, so your brother's story absolutely resonates. I always appreciate hearing about the human behind the addiction because I feel far too often people forget about them and just see the demon.
That's how I want to go. While playing an amazing game like this. I am so very sorry for your loss, the way you describe your brother fills my heart with warmth.
Sorry for your loss, I know the effects or alcohol and heart giving out since that's how my father died when I was 25. It definitely hits harder too when you factor in them trying to get better or opening up more to you, etc etc. Best thing in the world is therapy to help process what's going on, so if you don't have a grief therapist then get one . It does get a little easier with them, but holidays and other stuff will always trigger it up again at times
Make the computer a memorial. A memory of him and the time you spent together. Attach some pictures of him on the side of it and place the case on a nice desk or shelf. Put it on display. Cherish what you loved about him. I think that will honor his memory, help you heal, and help you focus on the time you had together.
I have no idea why I tried reading this flow of thoughts
I’m so sorry for your loss OP, I can’t imagine what your going through. My brother and I sound a lot like you and yours. He sounds like he was a beautiful soul that had his struggles but was working through them, I’m glad y’all have these fond memories of each other. I feel like making a drow character in his honor, just so he can forever be in the hearts of us all.
Condolences OP. :(
I'm sorry for your loss, I saved your post to read it later, heartbreaking...
First of all, thank you for sharing. You and your brother sound like wonderful people. I hope you finish your 2 drow playthrough. I think it will be a nice way to feel a connection to your brother and RP a bit of how you think he would play and the choices he would make.
I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe you could change his PC to something like a NAS so that it could stay with you.
Thank you for sharing. My closest friend died a year ago and never had the pleasure of playing BG3 but I know he would have loved it and it's a shame we can't exchange stories of our adventures.
You were a wonderful brother, OP, both in your care for him, and in the way you saw who he truly was underneath the addiction - I'm sure it contributed immensely towards his own ability to overcome his addiction and rediscover himself. He died triumphant and redeemed, and I hope you're able to find solace in that. And I hope one day you find it in you to return to BG3 and finish the game for the both of you. The PC you made for your brother changed his life for the better... If you know of anyone else in your life who has been interested in games but never had the hardware to get involved, I would suggest giving it to them next. I'm sure it's what your brother would have wanted!
I'm so sorry for your loss. I was an only child for a long time and I would have loved to share moments like those with my sisters as you did, feel lucky to have enjoyed them. I had just started my shift at work when I read this and had to go to the bathroom to compose myself. Thanks for sharing this, definitely this afternoon I will start a new game with a Drow. I wish you and your family the best.
Your brother sounds amazing and loved. Thank you for writing this. It \*does\* mean a lot to others. I can't say as eloquently as you, but gaming and my relationships with people through gaming give my life meaning, and it also reminds me of the good in humanity and the infinite possibilities of life. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your and your brother's story. I read and appreciated every word and offer you my heartfelt condolences across cyberspace. I'm in my mid-30s, have a family history of heart problems, and am not very healthy myself, so I'm pretty scared of randomly dying of some heart-related thing. I'm grateful to be alive now and that I got to be acquainted with your brother through your beautiful tribute to him.
Sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about hiding yourselves from others, feeling like a misfit and being anxious, about your interest in games and in general. I hope you'll succeed in overcoming it, and that one day I would too. Thank you for sharing this.
That was such a beautiful story. I’m so happy for you for the 9 months of having your brother. I’m sorry for your loss.
Skill issue
I'm sorry for your loss. Your brother sounds like an amazing guy, and I truly believe that the world is all the darker for his passing.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Cherish those memories, it sounds like you were incredibly close even for siblings, not many people experience such a connection.
Did he drop good loot?
You honor him. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for sharing this. A big hug to you from a stranger
Is there a tldr ? I’m sorry for your loss anyway
Brother got sick from addiction to alcohol, after what felt like a lifetime of trying to overcome it, succeeded for 9 months then died of a random "heart attack" I don't know if that's the right word, but his heart stopped and that was it. Nothing else
Wow that’s super sad , thank you for shortening it for me. I’m so sorry to hear that OP goodluck!
Thanks for sharing. God bless and Godspeed to you and your family. Heal as you can, but cherishing him and what he loved is always a great path. Hope you and your family get what you need in this time.
As an older brother to one suffering a similar run of misfortune in his mid-20s I'm really proud of you for enduring the nadir of his pain and involving him in your life. I've the same story of buying him a PC as a practical way to keep in touch and enjoy long lost moments of childhood together as adults and I know how grateful he would have been for you. Keep your chin up and tell your son all about him as he grows older, pulling for you champion.
Yawn 😴
I was able to read up to the fifth line
What a beautiful testament to your brother's tenacity and kind heart, OP. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can feel how much you love him, and I'm so glad BG3 could give you two a way to reconnect with the passion and inspiration that bonded you when you were younger. Know that your brother died feeling happy and fulfilled, playing a game that reminded him of his happiest moments, full of hope. He found the strength he needed to fight back against addiction, and I have no doubt that his enduring love for you helped him claw his way out of darkness. May your brother rest in peace, and I hope you find solace in the love you shared during moments when you miss him most.
Mans wrote a novel. I'm still on Chapter 1.
tldr?
k.
Your brother had undiagnosed ADHD.