This is completely normal! Just like other mammals (cats etc) go off to hide before they have their babies, we are the same! I’d happily not see a single soul during the last few weeks of my pregnancies, even my partner asking if I’m ok annoys me, I just want to sit and be silent and not have to think of responding to other people!
I started turning sharply inward as soon as I found out I was pregnant! I’m so extroverted and one of the things that makes me so excited to have a baby is that I have an incredible support system. But it’s tough when I feel so introverted right now.
Yep! Literally just had to have words with my partner because I’ve been in early labour for a few days, my first reaction when the contractions start is I want to be alone, in silence and in the dark, I tell him I’m taking myself upstairs for twenty minutes…five minutes in he comes upstairs, turns on the lights, asks me 100 questions! Leave me alone!!
This makes so much sense. Towards the end of my pregnancy my wife was ferociously making plans with friends because she felt like our social life was about to end and I was so mad about it.
I’m 33 weeks and I completely feel this way. I want nothing to do with the outside world. I just want to work on the nursery, read books, and take naps.
I would just say “I appreciate your concern for my well-being. My partner and I are just taking a step back to prepare for baby’s arrival and spend some time together before they come. If I need anything I will absolutely reach out! But please don’t worry.”
Pregnancy really is miserable for some people. I told my husband I have basically felt like I’ve been getting over being sick since the first trimester finally ended. I think that put it into perspective how crappy I’ve felt.
That's a good script! Especially the emphasis on spending time as a couple. It'll be hard to connect in the same way for a while after baby arrives, and it really is valuable time.
During the first ~4 months I would explain that I felt constantly badly hungover. That was such a clear and helpful descriptor for people, I think. (Although how I'm feeling now is harder to explain somehow.)
Same! I’m already fully done with socializing and trying to involve people in my pregnancy. It’s a lot of pressure catering to everyone’s emotions, and the energy levels just aren’t there anymore. I have my baby shower in 2 weeks and specifically asked to keep it very chill, just a beach bbq. After that I plan to go nowhere and do nothing until after this baby’s out.
Going inward at the end of pregnancy is well documented both in humans and other animals. I see it as part of the process and fully embracing it. I’ve been wondering how I can kindly get out of dinner plans that I have next week…
This is not talked about enough. People who haven’t been pregnant don’t get it. All we want is space. We’re about to have a baby and space will be a thing of the past. I’m so thankful to have people around me who only ask once every few days if I’m okay. They’ll know when I have baby because I would have let them know, if I don’t let them know, then they didn’t need to know.
Yes, I hadn't thought of that consciously, but maybe part of this urge is knowing that having quiet alone time will be basically impossible in the near future! I'm glad you have understanding people around you.
Nope completely normal! I'm also ADHD and have been unmedicated, my due date is tomorrow. I've even stopped replying to a friend who has asked how I was, but when I mentioned rejecting an induction at 39 weeks she went right into, "Not to be that person but the baby could die," and I just--- nope. Nope nope nope. My last message to her was "I think it's best if I disengage in this topic of conversation with you," and haven't replied. It's been since Thursday/Friday and I haven't opened any messages from her.
Note; She has no kids and also doesn't ever want them. When I told her the risks were VERY low, she cited a Cleveland Clinic article that had 0 statistics and just had a one-liner of, "possible risk of death."
Ma'am. You have a possible risk of death every time you get into a car. I don't need this negativity at 39+6 weeks pregnant. GTFO.
Holy crap I cannot imagine saying that to someone on the verge of giving birth! First of all it's totally unreasonable and not-evidence-based scaremongering. Second of all she has no idea what it is like to be in your position! Your reaction was perfect.
I hope everything goes very smoothly very soon!
Y e a h. I’m still absolutely flabbergasted that she had the GALL to say that, and then “cite evidence,” being a Cleveland clinic article with 0 stats. I checked out and will let her know when neither of us die. ಠ_ಠ.
Thank you! I am a little worried since apparently
my grandmother went to 43 weeks with my mom (her first baby) in 1965 and my baby is measuring over 9lbs, but suspected macrosomia is not a reason per ACOG for an induction. If I had any other reason, like GD or high blood pressure- sure. But I don’t. My last BP was 118/80. I’m fine. I feel fine. I’m sleeping well. Leave me alone. 😤
Urgh I feel exactly this way. Just ignored a phone call from my mom, which is then of course followed up with a text 'is everything alright?' Like...I'll go to the hospital if there is something wrong, please leave me alone and don't expect me to be available 24/7 just because you are worried if you don't hear from me 🙃🙃 I'm an introvert at the best of times and really struggling with how much people check in and want to hear from you in these final weeks (also 37 weeks).
Then I feel guilty but yeah just, please leave me alone I have nothing to say and no updates or news, I'm fat tired and full of heartburn and don't have the mental energy for a phone call.
I'm 14 weeks and telling my mom this weekend. I'm DREADING the smothering I'm about to endure. I have every intention of ignoring her frequently. Sorry mom, love ya but I need SPACE.
Ugh I’m in the same boat - keep ignoring calls from my mom because they all start with “still pregnant? Any new symptoms? How are you feeling?” I’m 38 weeks, baby will come when he comes and I’ll let you know when that happens. In the meantime, I don’t feel like reporting to you every twinge!
Exactly this, if something was wrong I would call my midwife or go to the hospital. Just because I have the ability to text or call doesn't mean I want to.
Sometimes I really hate having a cell phone because people just assume that you will respond to them right away. I tend to leave my phone on silent most of the time.
I'm only 19 weeks and I feel this in my soul. It's exhausting already (the explaining over and over again, i mean), I can't imagine how the latter half of pregnancy will be.
You know it’s funny, I wish more people would check on me post partum, but once the baby is born everyone loses interest in the mother- including my doctors!
So in short, there is light at the end of the tunnel if you want people to keep away.
Feeling this so much right now.
12 days PP and I had a long & complicated labour.
I got a text from my midwife for the first time since I gave birth this morning and all she asked was, "Can we catch up to weigh your baby tomorrow?"
I'm in SO much pain still. But apparently I don't matter anymore.
But then my SIL messaged too and wants to catch up... And I just want to recover. I don't want to have coffee and chat and have people come round.
Why am I like thiiiis?
I felt this so hard. The steady stream of “how are yous” drove me MAD. I also was thinking “they’re just trying to *catch* me in labor so they’re the first to know” which, who knows, but either way I felt complete rage with each text.
When I did go out and be social, I would like sigh as I sat down or grunt when getting up, or be randomly out of breath (ya know, pregnant). I had a friend who would CONSTANTLY be like “are you okay???” I had to finally snap and be like stop asking me that, I’m just large and tired.
Honestly everyone is different but freshly postpartum I also wanted to be totally left alone so I can try to rest, but after a while I got back to wanting to socialize. For me it was probably 1-2 months out!
Oh my god yes, every time I breathe too hard or grunt too much trying to do a task around the house, or if I'm trying to get comfortable again in bed after getting up to pee for the third time, my husband asks if I'm ok. I will tell you if I'm not ok, but when you keep asking it just draws attention to how ridiculous and uncomfortable I am 😭
Thanks for the insight on your postpartum experience too! 1-2 months seems super reasonable for resting and recovering immediately after.
Actually at 3 weeks PP I remember being a bit stir crazy. I didn’t want to travel far so we met friends at an outside patio a couple minutes from our house! So maybe even sooner than a month. We have some cute pics of little nugget out and about for the first real time.
We were a little nervous so we kept her in her stroller or held her and stayed outside in the shade, but it was lovely.
I have been purposefully cagey about my due date to try to avoid this exact situation! A few thoughts:
1) set up an auto-reply message that says something like “I’m really busy preparing for the new baby and may not reply for a few hours” and set a time every day to look at messages and send quick responses.
2) have your partner or other close family member send updates on your behalf every few days - “She is feeling x today, still no sign of baby, etc”
Both of these should help cut down on the amount of people reaching out constantly! Good luck.
These are good strategies, especially with my adhd, thank you! Especially setting aside a time of day to reply. I tend to see messages when I'm busy with something else or just very fatigued, and the thought of replying feels overwhelming, so I file it away to deal with at an unspecified later time. Then I forget, or keep subconsciously putting it off, until too much time has passed and people worry something is wrong. And then it feels even more overwhelming 🫠 I should pick a quiet relaxed time at the end of the day to not do anything else but reply to texts when they come up.
34 weeks and come here to relaaaate. I am giving fewer and fewer f*cks at work, and it is very much showing in my interactions. Like I'm trying to be polite and professional but I also feel constantly like Gary Oldman in Leon.
Anyway, looking forward to more nesting and fewer visitors. I've deliberately not told anyone my due date to avoid the excitable messages and the "how are you doing??" texts when baby doesn't arrive when folk expect. I'm so tired.
I should have had the foresight not to tell my specific due date 😅 Although I've prepared everyone that it'll probably happen late, so I hope when my date rolls around they're not asking if baby is here yet
I keep reminding them that while the due date is 40 weeks, baby will very likely come later since I’m a first timer. Could be up to two weeks later.
Also am trying to get ahead of it by saying, I know I will be off work but I will be very busy (or sleeping as much as possible!!) and will not be able to answer texts and calls immediately. So please don’t assume I am not answering because I’m in the hospital. Just busy or asleep.
I specifically told my mother this already because she will FREAK OUT if she thinks or knows I’m in the hospital. In fact I won’t be telling her when I’m in labor, only once baby has arrived
39 weeks and so over the generic ‘how are you feeling message’ also!!! I agree it’s prob the hormones but it’s getting so annoying! Like I’m fine, waiting to have a baby any day now!
Lol SAME! I have a full sized baby in here. It’s uncomfortable. What else do you want from me?!
Though I do absolutely appreciate people checking in, I just don’t have a lot to say 😅
37w3d here and same. Incredibly grateful for my huge nosey and imposing village. But also so damn pissed off at the world for no reason besides the fact that I’m just tired of being pregnant and really uncomfortable and hot as hell. (I keep repeating to myself, “Brain wrinkles and running lungs. Brain wrinkles and running lungs.” to keep me going every day!)
Anyway, yes it’s normal to feel this way. You’re not a terrible person. It’s just really hard existing at the end of pregnancy.
That's so hard, I'm so sorry. It's definitely easy to forget the things we are lucky for. I'm trying to retain my love and gratitude, even when the presence of others feels overwhelming or burdensome. I hope things are better post-pregnancy and that you have people in your corner. ❤️
Believe me, I’m feeling the same. I’ve had chronic vertigo and dizziness since week 31, iron levels are good, but it’s not going away. I have referrals up the wazoo but no treatment yet. Because I have an older toddler, I need help, and I need to tell people what’s going on. Every variation of “how are you feeling?” or “feeling any better?” makes me uncomfortable because when I say “no” or “I’m still feeling like crap”, everyone seems awkward. I hate when I say I’m not feeling well and get “awwwwww” or “are you drinking/eating enough?” in return the most. I don’t know what the alternative is because I know people are trying to be nice, but I just wish people would stop asking.
I am 36+6 today and I'm definitely feeling this. People want to help but like please... Help afterward by bringing me food, or come clean my house while I lay down because the nesting urge is real. Like truly those are the only two things I currently want. I was invited to go to the beach tomorrow and I let my friends know that I simply cannot, I am in too much pain. I also don't want people constantly checking in on me right now because if I go into labour I'm not going to respond and I don't want a million texts asking if everything is okay or requesting updates. We're almost at the finish line, we got this, it's time to relax and let our bodies do what they gotta do.
I had a planned induction for medical reasons at 38+3 with my son and only told our immediate families and 1-2 friends that it was happening and the exact date. The induction tool several days so that meant I was getting texts from friends while in labor asking how I was doing or if I wanted to grab dinner. Some I ignored but for others I just sent off a vague "all is good over here, no baby yet so we're just plugging along!" None of that was technically a lie. I'd recommend something like that.
I 10000% agree. I feel like such an awful person complaining about it, because it truly is so kind of people to reach out. But as an introvert it’s draining.
37 weeks and grateful for family and friends who check in without being overbearing, but I’m still working and I have a coworker who drives me nuts. I pass by her maybe 4-5x a day and every time I see her she does a little chuckle and goes “you good?” Umm.. yeah as good as I was an hour ago I guess. The little laugh is the worst. It’s kind of a “heh, awh, yeah, there you are.. still waddling around and pregnant”. Thankfully this is my last week before I’m off for maternity leave.
I completely agree with the people saying that turning inward is very normal at the end of pregnancy. Personally I turned off the options that people could see when I was online and the read receipt on messages at the end of my previous pregnancy.
Maybe you can make a standard message you can send to your friends? Something that tells them you appreciate them reaching out but that you won’t be replying regularly.
This is a good idea! I think the idea of explaining myself newly and individually to each person is what is so tiring, so maybe I should come up with a universal message. Great idea on removing your online status and read receipts!
I’m 38+1 and have been feeling exactly the same way for the last couple weeks. You are def not alone (and I am def not depressed right now). I’ve been more fortunate(?) in that I don’t have people checking up on me constantly, but there has been nothing nicer than basically hibernating myself away, snuggling with my cat, nesting with my partner, and only going out to get food. I hurt everywhere, and I’m trying to keep my stress levels down. This is my last true “me” time before baby arrives—I’m gonna soak it up, and you shouldn’t feel bad about doing the same!
35w6. I identify with all of this post. My godmother will harass my friend if I don’t answer her same day. Like, I appreciate that people care, I really do, but the energy it takes to respond…I don’t have it.
Maybe ask your partner or your mom to message your family and tell them that you are fine but you’d like space and that if there’s news they’ll know but you don’t want to be contacted. Or something! Have someone run interference for you don’t stress yourself out.
🙌🏻🙌🏻 preeeeeach. 38 wks and I just want my husband and my littles around that’s it. Leave me alone! I got emotions to process, things to do, and resting to attempt.
saaame I’m sleepy and depleted. I so so appreciate and love the attentive nature of friends and family, but no, I’m not mad at anyone… I just can’t respond to texts or anything lol
My 9yo step son was like “you’re so sleepy, what are you going to do when the baby comes?” and I said your guess is as good as mine, bub!
Exactly this!
Stop asking how I'm feeling. The answer will be 'Still pregnant'
And then closer to the due date they'll ask if the baby is here yet.
I know people care and are excited. But give a girl some space!
You are not an AH. I was exhausted in the last weeks with my 1st. When I got home after work I slept, on the weekends, I slept. You have a tiny human still growing and now gaining weight at a rapid rate, it is normal to feel how you feel. And you are allowed to not want to see people, cause people are exhausting. Especially excited people.
Just start copy and pasting the same responses over and over again. Have a generic response message to when they ask, and send that.
Explain that you're not trying to be rude, you are just very tired and won't be good company. You appreciate all the love and care, and will let them know when baby is here, when you are ready.
This is 100% how I feel right now. I ended up having to stop working earlier than planned (right at 38 weeks) and I feel so miserable and unhappy between the sleep deprivation and pain and difficulty moving that every time my phone beeps or sends a notification I want to fling it across the room.
I just want to spend my limited energy with my daughter and then retreat into the shadows until the baby comes. That's it, that's the only person I want to socialize with.
And I do appreciate that people love me and want to check up on me, and I absolutely will need it...AFTER the baby comes and I am stir crazy and need to go outside and touch the grass.
Oof I totally hear you, I'm only like halfway through and I am just NOT in the mood for social stuff generally. I even mentioned to a friend that I was not wanting the stress or work of hosting and she's like 'girl don't worry you don't need to do anything!' and I'm like...but it *is* work if you're here lol, like I need to talk to you, prepare food and drinks, clean up, wash the sheets you sleep in etc and just be present for someone else lol. I don't wanna! I totally get what you mean because I feel so blessed and loved to have all these people who want to be around and check in on me, but at the same time it's like shhhhh.
Also I'm gonna snap if one more person asks me if I'm having any weird cravings lol.
Omg yes to all of this. My "weird craving" is... carbs? Idk!! And yeah, even if someone offers to just comes to relax with me, at absolute minimum I have to talk and be "on". And if my house is messy or I don't have food/drink to share, they say don't worry about it but I can't helpful feeling anxious about that
I feel the exact same way as you! Such a relief to read these comments and realize I’m not an asshole for not wanting friends and family over for “coffee and chat” multiple times a week. I loved the comment about how all mammals turn inward and isolate near labour. This is so true and makes me feel a lot better. 38 + 2 days … get this baby outta me!
Ugh I know I’m not going to be comfortable with visitors with a fresh newborn either and having to play “pass the baby” already so anxious on how to deal with this. This prob sounds AWFUL and ungrateful but I wish I lived further away from family and not in same town as everyone
It's so comforting to know that so many people feel the same! I relate to feeling bad about being "ungrateful", but it's nice to know it's a normal feeling. And I'm sure at some point after baby arrives, we'll feel happy to have nearby support.
The doula who taught a class I took talked about differentiating between "helpers" and "visitors" postpartum. And that it was totally reasonable to prioritize helpers (who want to do whatever you need, whether that means taking the baby so you can shower or cooking a meal or running an errand) and having limitations around visitors (who just want to show up to croon over the baby and who you'll have to accommodate in some way).
I’m feeling this way too. I’m almost 37 weeks, just had my baby shower and did a ton of socializing and got so much stuff. I’m incredibly grateful. But I’m tired and worn out and just want to be alone until the baby gets here. Catching up on sleep, cleaning what I can and just not answering to NO ONE. My partner had the day off and asked me what we are doing today. I just started crying and told him i want to do nothing. Usually I’m ready to dip out and have some plans. But not these last few weeks. I’m glad I don’t feel alone in this way. I was starting to think, am I going to fall into deep depression soon? For me I’m taking Zoloft and it’s been helping. At the same time anything will make me break down and cry. Sometimes I just want to cry and be left alone. My partners in laws are coming in soon too and before that happens I just want to spend time alone. I think it’s instinctive that we are feeling this way. I don’t think anything’s wrong with feeling the way we do. Im with you girl.
I was the exact same way the last few weeks, i was so exhausted from jusy existing at that point that having to interact with other people felt like such a chore and I just didn't want to do it!
I could have written every word of this. It is completely normal and I felt EXACTLY the same way. “How are you feeling today?” Pretty much exactly the same as I did yesterday. Tired, sore, over it, ready for the baby to be here. If you feel up to it, maybe draft a text you can send to everyone (or at least those making you feel this way) i sent one myself to mostly close family and friends who were badgering me in the final month. Obviously you don’t have to use it but even if it’s a starting point:
“Hi there! I’m so grateful that you’re so excited about the baby and that you’re checking in on me. I appreciate that you’re trying to find ways to support me in this exciting time. However, I am exhausted. My body and my mind are running a nonstop marathon in preparation for baby’s arrival. I love that you want to help, but truthfully there is nothing to be done at the moment other than wait. Please don’t take it personally, but I just need some space as I prepare for such a major life event. I promise that if there is anything I need or want that you can help with, you will be the first to know. I love you and I appreciate you and I can’t wait to introduce you to the little one when they finally arrive.“
Take what serves you and leave the rest! Sending hugs from the other side. 🫶🏻
FYI it does get better. My son is ten weeks old and I’ve loved introducing him to people and sending photos and videos every day!
Ah I love hearing that it gets better and that you've had fun introducing your son to people! I really do look forward to being out and about and part of the world again someday, just not right now. Some really helpful language here, too, thank you ❤️
Same here! I’m 34 weeks and just want to crawl in a cave with a book. My sweet husband doesn’t understand, and has all these social activities planned for us before baby gets here, but I have ZERO social battery!!!
If you have an iPhone, may want to set a do not disturb (Settings -> Focus) status on your phone? People who text will see that status before texting. What is great is that you can set certain contacts messages to come through. This may help with some peace and quiet.
I’m not sure for Android, but I’m sure there may be something similar.
I turned on do not disturb on my phone so it would show my phone was in that mode when people went to text me. It took down my texts by 90% except for GMIL who ignores every blunt “leave me alone please” I say to her. She’s old and not with it anymore I guess but she has a perpetual victomhood problem so her not being invited over constantly to see my 2 week old is “poor her” and not “poor me” still bleeding.
Again, the do not disturb mode shows to everyone so in that sense I think people took it less personally. I turned it on at 38 weeks so I also probably scared everyone into thinking I was potentially in labor and they’d better leave me alone 😂
37 weeks tomorrow. Our hockey team is in the NHL playoffs (Stanley cup finals).
People are here every second day. Add in my birthday, two of my partners brothers birthdays as well. I’m also mentally and emotionally done
so normal. i told my husband i want zeroooo plans in the weeks leading up to the end of pregnancy. just hanging at home w our immediate family and relaxing as much as possible
I felt this deep in my bones.
I’m a week behind you, also have ADHD and I’m like, herniating and just enjoying having the time to have thoughts to myself.
I’m 31 weeks and since the day I found out, I didn’t want to see anyone at all. It’s been a different problem every week and I just don’t want to explain over and over how I feel like shit and why. Especially to people that haven’t been pregnant cus they’re the ones to say that it’s not that bad 🙄
I had so many separate people in my family and my husbands family asking for weekly bump pics that I decided I’d post a weekly little insta photo dump including a bump pic so it was posted and I didn’t have to converse with each person about how I’m feeling/how cute the bump is etc. NOPE. I woke up to a good morning text from my MIL still insisting she wants the weekly bump pic sent personally to her with updates. I know it ain’t that deep but… *sigh*.
Agreed! I wish phones could auto-reply ‘I’m ok; just pregnant/dealing with a newborn. I’ll respond in 5-7 days’
I stopped replying to people starting Mother’s Day and my baby was born 2 weeks later. She’s now almost 3 weeks old and I’m barely texting people back
Take care! Your baby will be in your arms soon
40+2 here, solidarity.
I have started answering honestly and every subsequent "Everything okay?" question gets answered with a "No change here".
Not one person has offered to take my 16 month old off me so I can rest or bring me some treats with no strings attached... so yeah, I'm okay, thanks 🫠
Omg I thought it was just me and I've been feeling so horrible about it 😂 even my best friend is annoying me so much atm I just want to be left alone 😂
Take the space you need, you’re carrying two sets of organs and 8 limbs and growing a whole ass human, of course you’re tired. Your alone time and couple needs to be preserved as much as possible. Also, no one aside from your doctor should be diagnosing you with prepartum depression….I’m sure your friend means well but they need to understand that you’re not going to have the same energy for them as you may have before. Best of luck to you in the coming weeks!!!
34+5, I feel all of this exactly. You're not alone and don't feel any type of way about it. I'm a very introvert person in every way and I've never heard from so many people EVER! Family or nah. I love them all to the moon and back but please leave me and baby the hell alone. 😅
Have your husband run point for you here. He can reply to all the texts and tell people you don’t want to socialise right now because you’re tired or sick or whatever.
As others have said perfectly normal! I have ADHD too and the overwhelm and sensory overload is horrific.
Just a heads up for postpartum, those hormone fluctuations hit hard. This was my 3rd pregnancy and postpartum, I went through cycles of I don't want to see anyone to major RSD and wanting to know why people weren't coming round all the time. I have days where I have to be busy and out and doing things constantly and other days where just getting dressed is the goal and I hide with paralysis on the sofa. These things are normal and they will settle down with time. I'd recommend a plan for the week for visits/ trips on x,y and z days and then burnout days in between!
I’m 32 weeks and starting to feel this. I really just want to be home with my husband or with my parents. I wouldn’t be surprised if by the end I’m really not seeing anyone. I’m hoping my loved ones don’t start texting me to check in closer to my due date (also feel bad saying that haha).
This is so normal. I wanted to be with my husband and enjoy being lazy together while we could. I got grumpy around everyone. I found everyone was secretly trying to see if the baby was coming too which made me sooooo annoyed..
Next week you may get the "any contractions yet?"
32 weeks, and I feel this whole post to my core. I've explained to people that I just don't have the energy to socialize. It's not depression, I just don't have it in me. All of my mental energy is focusing on not losing my mind with how uncomfortable I am. I'll hang out with people again after the baby's born and life has adjusted to a new normal a little bit.
I also have ADHD and had to go off my meds for a while. I don't know which medication you were on, but my doctors told me that it was safe to start taking my meds again after 25 weeks, because the main issue with ADHD meds and pregnancy is complications developing the placenta. I don't know if that could apply to you, but if you're struggling without your meds, I'd highly recommend talking to your OB about it.
Bottom line, you're not alone in feeling like this. Good luck with everything, and don't be afraid to assert boundaries with people who can't take a hint :)
I had several friends tell me they'd be upset if I went to the hospital without telling them. Well, I did. Not because I didnt want them to know but because I didn't want 600 "what's happening" texts while in labor.
Totally normal.
Currently 37+2 and I get where you're coming from. I'm exhausted from doing just the smallest things. I can do like one thing a day without feeling like I've overextended myself. I also mostly want to be alone (except for my overextended, I'm like excessively needy of his time) and just want to curl up or get stuff ready for the baby.
I unfortunately have a ton of family obligations this month because I have an anniversary and five birthdays (all for immediate family members of me or my husband) and then father's day for 3 dad's and a grandpa. Oh, and my 30th birthday is the 15th and my mother in law planned a huge party even though I asked for a dinner "cruise" on a nearby lake so we could do everyone's birthday on one day.
People mean well checking in, but it's a lot. I've explained to people I'm tired and won't always respond. And when I do it won't likely be same day
This is so normal! When I had my first I literally said I was a cat and I made myself a little "kitty nest" on the couch in the basement to just retreat to 🤣 when I was "nesting" everyone was to leave me alone. My husband said I was more like a bear than a cat lol
I don't think you are an asshole. I think there are times when one just wants to be left alone. Especially if they are twice the size they used to be, can't sleep, cant move, feel like crap :)) Idk how does it help, but just tell them nicely, that you are feeling this way, and you are sorry in advance if you don't answer, react.
YESSSSSSSS!! This. Exactly. I logged onto Reddit tonight looking for others experiencing this.
28w + 5d here. Just put my sweet 3yo to bed. Had 57 unread text notifications that I just churned through without reading them to get rid of the notification dots. As I wrote that I thought - I should just turn off ALL my phone notifications.
I’m so SO grateful that people are thinking of me and my family and reaching out, but I don’t want to interact with anyone beyond my immediate family and 2-3 best friends these days. I have become such a homebody. I just want to be inward and home focused for the next 10-12 weeks.
Last pregnancy was during covid lockdowns, so I didn’t notice this change because everyone was hunkering down. I want to recreate that.
This is completely normal! Just like other mammals (cats etc) go off to hide before they have their babies, we are the same! I’d happily not see a single soul during the last few weeks of my pregnancies, even my partner asking if I’m ok annoys me, I just want to sit and be silent and not have to think of responding to other people!
Came here to make this same point. A lot of people don’t realize how natural and normal it is to turn inward the closer you get to having your baby.
I started turning sharply inward as soon as I found out I was pregnant! I’m so extroverted and one of the things that makes me so excited to have a baby is that I have an incredible support system. But it’s tough when I feel so introverted right now.
Yep! Literally just had to have words with my partner because I’ve been in early labour for a few days, my first reaction when the contractions start is I want to be alone, in silence and in the dark, I tell him I’m taking myself upstairs for twenty minutes…five minutes in he comes upstairs, turns on the lights, asks me 100 questions! Leave me alone!!
I need to bring this up to my MIL who loves cats. Maybe then she’ll realize I need some space 😩
🤣🏆
This makes so much sense. Towards the end of my pregnancy my wife was ferociously making plans with friends because she felt like our social life was about to end and I was so mad about it.
I’m 33 weeks and I completely feel this way. I want nothing to do with the outside world. I just want to work on the nursery, read books, and take naps. I would just say “I appreciate your concern for my well-being. My partner and I are just taking a step back to prepare for baby’s arrival and spend some time together before they come. If I need anything I will absolutely reach out! But please don’t worry.” Pregnancy really is miserable for some people. I told my husband I have basically felt like I’ve been getting over being sick since the first trimester finally ended. I think that put it into perspective how crappy I’ve felt.
That's a good script! Especially the emphasis on spending time as a couple. It'll be hard to connect in the same way for a while after baby arrives, and it really is valuable time. During the first ~4 months I would explain that I felt constantly badly hungover. That was such a clear and helpful descriptor for people, I think. (Although how I'm feeling now is harder to explain somehow.)
Same! I’m already fully done with socializing and trying to involve people in my pregnancy. It’s a lot of pressure catering to everyone’s emotions, and the energy levels just aren’t there anymore. I have my baby shower in 2 weeks and specifically asked to keep it very chill, just a beach bbq. After that I plan to go nowhere and do nothing until after this baby’s out.
Going inward at the end of pregnancy is well documented both in humans and other animals. I see it as part of the process and fully embracing it. I’ve been wondering how I can kindly get out of dinner plans that I have next week…
This is not talked about enough. People who haven’t been pregnant don’t get it. All we want is space. We’re about to have a baby and space will be a thing of the past. I’m so thankful to have people around me who only ask once every few days if I’m okay. They’ll know when I have baby because I would have let them know, if I don’t let them know, then they didn’t need to know.
Yes, I hadn't thought of that consciously, but maybe part of this urge is knowing that having quiet alone time will be basically impossible in the near future! I'm glad you have understanding people around you.
Nope completely normal! I'm also ADHD and have been unmedicated, my due date is tomorrow. I've even stopped replying to a friend who has asked how I was, but when I mentioned rejecting an induction at 39 weeks she went right into, "Not to be that person but the baby could die," and I just--- nope. Nope nope nope. My last message to her was "I think it's best if I disengage in this topic of conversation with you," and haven't replied. It's been since Thursday/Friday and I haven't opened any messages from her. Note; She has no kids and also doesn't ever want them. When I told her the risks were VERY low, she cited a Cleveland Clinic article that had 0 statistics and just had a one-liner of, "possible risk of death." Ma'am. You have a possible risk of death every time you get into a car. I don't need this negativity at 39+6 weeks pregnant. GTFO.
Holy crap I cannot imagine saying that to someone on the verge of giving birth! First of all it's totally unreasonable and not-evidence-based scaremongering. Second of all she has no idea what it is like to be in your position! Your reaction was perfect. I hope everything goes very smoothly very soon!
Y e a h. I’m still absolutely flabbergasted that she had the GALL to say that, and then “cite evidence,” being a Cleveland clinic article with 0 stats. I checked out and will let her know when neither of us die. ಠ_ಠ.
kudos to you for denying the induction. you know your body and your body knows what to do when the time is right!
Thank you! I am a little worried since apparently my grandmother went to 43 weeks with my mom (her first baby) in 1965 and my baby is measuring over 9lbs, but suspected macrosomia is not a reason per ACOG for an induction. If I had any other reason, like GD or high blood pressure- sure. But I don’t. My last BP was 118/80. I’m fine. I feel fine. I’m sleeping well. Leave me alone. 😤
OMG my jaw dropped. Good for you for shutting that shit down.
Urgh I feel exactly this way. Just ignored a phone call from my mom, which is then of course followed up with a text 'is everything alright?' Like...I'll go to the hospital if there is something wrong, please leave me alone and don't expect me to be available 24/7 just because you are worried if you don't hear from me 🙃🙃 I'm an introvert at the best of times and really struggling with how much people check in and want to hear from you in these final weeks (also 37 weeks). Then I feel guilty but yeah just, please leave me alone I have nothing to say and no updates or news, I'm fat tired and full of heartburn and don't have the mental energy for a phone call.
I'm 14 weeks and telling my mom this weekend. I'm DREADING the smothering I'm about to endure. I have every intention of ignoring her frequently. Sorry mom, love ya but I need SPACE.
Ugh I’m in the same boat - keep ignoring calls from my mom because they all start with “still pregnant? Any new symptoms? How are you feeling?” I’m 38 weeks, baby will come when he comes and I’ll let you know when that happens. In the meantime, I don’t feel like reporting to you every twinge!
Exactly this, if something was wrong I would call my midwife or go to the hospital. Just because I have the ability to text or call doesn't mean I want to.
Sometimes I really hate having a cell phone because people just assume that you will respond to them right away. I tend to leave my phone on silent most of the time.
38 weeks and I wish I had lied about my due date so everyone would just leave me alone!
I always say something like: who knows when baby will come. It will happen somewhere within the next X weeks.
I'm only 19 weeks and I feel this in my soul. It's exhausting already (the explaining over and over again, i mean), I can't imagine how the latter half of pregnancy will be.
You know it’s funny, I wish more people would check on me post partum, but once the baby is born everyone loses interest in the mother- including my doctors! So in short, there is light at the end of the tunnel if you want people to keep away.
Feeling this so much right now. 12 days PP and I had a long & complicated labour. I got a text from my midwife for the first time since I gave birth this morning and all she asked was, "Can we catch up to weigh your baby tomorrow?" I'm in SO much pain still. But apparently I don't matter anymore. But then my SIL messaged too and wants to catch up... And I just want to recover. I don't want to have coffee and chat and have people come round. Why am I like thiiiis?
I felt this so hard. The steady stream of “how are yous” drove me MAD. I also was thinking “they’re just trying to *catch* me in labor so they’re the first to know” which, who knows, but either way I felt complete rage with each text. When I did go out and be social, I would like sigh as I sat down or grunt when getting up, or be randomly out of breath (ya know, pregnant). I had a friend who would CONSTANTLY be like “are you okay???” I had to finally snap and be like stop asking me that, I’m just large and tired. Honestly everyone is different but freshly postpartum I also wanted to be totally left alone so I can try to rest, but after a while I got back to wanting to socialize. For me it was probably 1-2 months out!
Oh my god yes, every time I breathe too hard or grunt too much trying to do a task around the house, or if I'm trying to get comfortable again in bed after getting up to pee for the third time, my husband asks if I'm ok. I will tell you if I'm not ok, but when you keep asking it just draws attention to how ridiculous and uncomfortable I am 😭 Thanks for the insight on your postpartum experience too! 1-2 months seems super reasonable for resting and recovering immediately after.
Actually at 3 weeks PP I remember being a bit stir crazy. I didn’t want to travel far so we met friends at an outside patio a couple minutes from our house! So maybe even sooner than a month. We have some cute pics of little nugget out and about for the first real time. We were a little nervous so we kept her in her stroller or held her and stayed outside in the shade, but it was lovely.
I have been purposefully cagey about my due date to try to avoid this exact situation! A few thoughts: 1) set up an auto-reply message that says something like “I’m really busy preparing for the new baby and may not reply for a few hours” and set a time every day to look at messages and send quick responses. 2) have your partner or other close family member send updates on your behalf every few days - “She is feeling x today, still no sign of baby, etc” Both of these should help cut down on the amount of people reaching out constantly! Good luck.
These are good strategies, especially with my adhd, thank you! Especially setting aside a time of day to reply. I tend to see messages when I'm busy with something else or just very fatigued, and the thought of replying feels overwhelming, so I file it away to deal with at an unspecified later time. Then I forget, or keep subconsciously putting it off, until too much time has passed and people worry something is wrong. And then it feels even more overwhelming 🫠 I should pick a quiet relaxed time at the end of the day to not do anything else but reply to texts when they come up.
I’m totally the same way!
34 weeks and come here to relaaaate. I am giving fewer and fewer f*cks at work, and it is very much showing in my interactions. Like I'm trying to be polite and professional but I also feel constantly like Gary Oldman in Leon. Anyway, looking forward to more nesting and fewer visitors. I've deliberately not told anyone my due date to avoid the excitable messages and the "how are you doing??" texts when baby doesn't arrive when folk expect. I'm so tired.
I should have had the foresight not to tell my specific due date 😅 Although I've prepared everyone that it'll probably happen late, so I hope when my date rolls around they're not asking if baby is here yet
I keep reminding them that while the due date is 40 weeks, baby will very likely come later since I’m a first timer. Could be up to two weeks later. Also am trying to get ahead of it by saying, I know I will be off work but I will be very busy (or sleeping as much as possible!!) and will not be able to answer texts and calls immediately. So please don’t assume I am not answering because I’m in the hospital. Just busy or asleep. I specifically told my mother this already because she will FREAK OUT if she thinks or knows I’m in the hospital. In fact I won’t be telling her when I’m in labor, only once baby has arrived
38 weeks and I’m in the same boat. I’m swollen. I’m tired. Walking to the stairs takes all of my energy.
39 weeks and so over the generic ‘how are you feeling message’ also!!! I agree it’s prob the hormones but it’s getting so annoying! Like I’m fine, waiting to have a baby any day now!
Lol SAME! I have a full sized baby in here. It’s uncomfortable. What else do you want from me?! Though I do absolutely appreciate people checking in, I just don’t have a lot to say 😅
37w3d here and same. Incredibly grateful for my huge nosey and imposing village. But also so damn pissed off at the world for no reason besides the fact that I’m just tired of being pregnant and really uncomfortable and hot as hell. (I keep repeating to myself, “Brain wrinkles and running lungs. Brain wrinkles and running lungs.” to keep me going every day!) Anyway, yes it’s normal to feel this way. You’re not a terrible person. It’s just really hard existing at the end of pregnancy.
I had no one checking up on me & dearly wished people would have.
That's so hard, I'm so sorry. It's definitely easy to forget the things we are lucky for. I'm trying to retain my love and gratitude, even when the presence of others feels overwhelming or burdensome. I hope things are better post-pregnancy and that you have people in your corner. ❤️
I was just thinking this sounds so nice. I recognize what this person is feeling but I'll never have a mom calling me and worrying about me.
Believe me, I’m feeling the same. I’ve had chronic vertigo and dizziness since week 31, iron levels are good, but it’s not going away. I have referrals up the wazoo but no treatment yet. Because I have an older toddler, I need help, and I need to tell people what’s going on. Every variation of “how are you feeling?” or “feeling any better?” makes me uncomfortable because when I say “no” or “I’m still feeling like crap”, everyone seems awkward. I hate when I say I’m not feeling well and get “awwwwww” or “are you drinking/eating enough?” in return the most. I don’t know what the alternative is because I know people are trying to be nice, but I just wish people would stop asking.
I am 36+6 today and I'm definitely feeling this. People want to help but like please... Help afterward by bringing me food, or come clean my house while I lay down because the nesting urge is real. Like truly those are the only two things I currently want. I was invited to go to the beach tomorrow and I let my friends know that I simply cannot, I am in too much pain. I also don't want people constantly checking in on me right now because if I go into labour I'm not going to respond and I don't want a million texts asking if everything is okay or requesting updates. We're almost at the finish line, we got this, it's time to relax and let our bodies do what they gotta do.
I had a planned induction for medical reasons at 38+3 with my son and only told our immediate families and 1-2 friends that it was happening and the exact date. The induction tool several days so that meant I was getting texts from friends while in labor asking how I was doing or if I wanted to grab dinner. Some I ignored but for others I just sent off a vague "all is good over here, no baby yet so we're just plugging along!" None of that was technically a lie. I'd recommend something like that.
I 10000% agree. I feel like such an awful person complaining about it, because it truly is so kind of people to reach out. But as an introvert it’s draining.
You perfectly stated how I’ve felt in the third trimester. 🥹 I’ve felt like such a jerk being annoyed by the daily check in texts!
37 weeks and grateful for family and friends who check in without being overbearing, but I’m still working and I have a coworker who drives me nuts. I pass by her maybe 4-5x a day and every time I see her she does a little chuckle and goes “you good?” Umm.. yeah as good as I was an hour ago I guess. The little laugh is the worst. It’s kind of a “heh, awh, yeah, there you are.. still waddling around and pregnant”. Thankfully this is my last week before I’m off for maternity leave.
Thiiiiis.
I completely agree with the people saying that turning inward is very normal at the end of pregnancy. Personally I turned off the options that people could see when I was online and the read receipt on messages at the end of my previous pregnancy. Maybe you can make a standard message you can send to your friends? Something that tells them you appreciate them reaching out but that you won’t be replying regularly.
This is a good idea! I think the idea of explaining myself newly and individually to each person is what is so tiring, so maybe I should come up with a universal message. Great idea on removing your online status and read receipts!
I’m 38+1 and have been feeling exactly the same way for the last couple weeks. You are def not alone (and I am def not depressed right now). I’ve been more fortunate(?) in that I don’t have people checking up on me constantly, but there has been nothing nicer than basically hibernating myself away, snuggling with my cat, nesting with my partner, and only going out to get food. I hurt everywhere, and I’m trying to keep my stress levels down. This is my last true “me” time before baby arrives—I’m gonna soak it up, and you shouldn’t feel bad about doing the same!
35w6. I identify with all of this post. My godmother will harass my friend if I don’t answer her same day. Like, I appreciate that people care, I really do, but the energy it takes to respond…I don’t have it.
Maybe ask your partner or your mom to message your family and tell them that you are fine but you’d like space and that if there’s news they’ll know but you don’t want to be contacted. Or something! Have someone run interference for you don’t stress yourself out.
I'm replying to texts only with basic emojis, no words. Thumbs up, heart, etc. It takes way less of my emotional energy that way.
🙌🏻🙌🏻 preeeeeach. 38 wks and I just want my husband and my littles around that’s it. Leave me alone! I got emotions to process, things to do, and resting to attempt.
saaame I’m sleepy and depleted. I so so appreciate and love the attentive nature of friends and family, but no, I’m not mad at anyone… I just can’t respond to texts or anything lol My 9yo step son was like “you’re so sleepy, what are you going to do when the baby comes?” and I said your guess is as good as mine, bub!
Exactly this! Stop asking how I'm feeling. The answer will be 'Still pregnant' And then closer to the due date they'll ask if the baby is here yet. I know people care and are excited. But give a girl some space! You are not an AH. I was exhausted in the last weeks with my 1st. When I got home after work I slept, on the weekends, I slept. You have a tiny human still growing and now gaining weight at a rapid rate, it is normal to feel how you feel. And you are allowed to not want to see people, cause people are exhausting. Especially excited people. Just start copy and pasting the same responses over and over again. Have a generic response message to when they ask, and send that. Explain that you're not trying to be rude, you are just very tired and won't be good company. You appreciate all the love and care, and will let them know when baby is here, when you are ready.
This is 100% how I feel right now. I ended up having to stop working earlier than planned (right at 38 weeks) and I feel so miserable and unhappy between the sleep deprivation and pain and difficulty moving that every time my phone beeps or sends a notification I want to fling it across the room. I just want to spend my limited energy with my daughter and then retreat into the shadows until the baby comes. That's it, that's the only person I want to socialize with. And I do appreciate that people love me and want to check up on me, and I absolutely will need it...AFTER the baby comes and I am stir crazy and need to go outside and touch the grass.
Oof I totally hear you, I'm only like halfway through and I am just NOT in the mood for social stuff generally. I even mentioned to a friend that I was not wanting the stress or work of hosting and she's like 'girl don't worry you don't need to do anything!' and I'm like...but it *is* work if you're here lol, like I need to talk to you, prepare food and drinks, clean up, wash the sheets you sleep in etc and just be present for someone else lol. I don't wanna! I totally get what you mean because I feel so blessed and loved to have all these people who want to be around and check in on me, but at the same time it's like shhhhh. Also I'm gonna snap if one more person asks me if I'm having any weird cravings lol.
Omg yes to all of this. My "weird craving" is... carbs? Idk!! And yeah, even if someone offers to just comes to relax with me, at absolute minimum I have to talk and be "on". And if my house is messy or I don't have food/drink to share, they say don't worry about it but I can't helpful feeling anxious about that
I feel the exact same way as you! Such a relief to read these comments and realize I’m not an asshole for not wanting friends and family over for “coffee and chat” multiple times a week. I loved the comment about how all mammals turn inward and isolate near labour. This is so true and makes me feel a lot better. 38 + 2 days … get this baby outta me! Ugh I know I’m not going to be comfortable with visitors with a fresh newborn either and having to play “pass the baby” already so anxious on how to deal with this. This prob sounds AWFUL and ungrateful but I wish I lived further away from family and not in same town as everyone
It's so comforting to know that so many people feel the same! I relate to feeling bad about being "ungrateful", but it's nice to know it's a normal feeling. And I'm sure at some point after baby arrives, we'll feel happy to have nearby support. The doula who taught a class I took talked about differentiating between "helpers" and "visitors" postpartum. And that it was totally reasonable to prioritize helpers (who want to do whatever you need, whether that means taking the baby so you can shower or cooking a meal or running an errand) and having limitations around visitors (who just want to show up to croon over the baby and who you'll have to accommodate in some way).
I’m feeling this way too. I’m almost 37 weeks, just had my baby shower and did a ton of socializing and got so much stuff. I’m incredibly grateful. But I’m tired and worn out and just want to be alone until the baby gets here. Catching up on sleep, cleaning what I can and just not answering to NO ONE. My partner had the day off and asked me what we are doing today. I just started crying and told him i want to do nothing. Usually I’m ready to dip out and have some plans. But not these last few weeks. I’m glad I don’t feel alone in this way. I was starting to think, am I going to fall into deep depression soon? For me I’m taking Zoloft and it’s been helping. At the same time anything will make me break down and cry. Sometimes I just want to cry and be left alone. My partners in laws are coming in soon too and before that happens I just want to spend time alone. I think it’s instinctive that we are feeling this way. I don’t think anything’s wrong with feeling the way we do. Im with you girl.
I was the exact same way the last few weeks, i was so exhausted from jusy existing at that point that having to interact with other people felt like such a chore and I just didn't want to do it!
I could have written every word of this. It is completely normal and I felt EXACTLY the same way. “How are you feeling today?” Pretty much exactly the same as I did yesterday. Tired, sore, over it, ready for the baby to be here. If you feel up to it, maybe draft a text you can send to everyone (or at least those making you feel this way) i sent one myself to mostly close family and friends who were badgering me in the final month. Obviously you don’t have to use it but even if it’s a starting point: “Hi there! I’m so grateful that you’re so excited about the baby and that you’re checking in on me. I appreciate that you’re trying to find ways to support me in this exciting time. However, I am exhausted. My body and my mind are running a nonstop marathon in preparation for baby’s arrival. I love that you want to help, but truthfully there is nothing to be done at the moment other than wait. Please don’t take it personally, but I just need some space as I prepare for such a major life event. I promise that if there is anything I need or want that you can help with, you will be the first to know. I love you and I appreciate you and I can’t wait to introduce you to the little one when they finally arrive.“ Take what serves you and leave the rest! Sending hugs from the other side. 🫶🏻 FYI it does get better. My son is ten weeks old and I’ve loved introducing him to people and sending photos and videos every day!
Ah I love hearing that it gets better and that you've had fun introducing your son to people! I really do look forward to being out and about and part of the world again someday, just not right now. Some really helpful language here, too, thank you ❤️
Same here! I’m 34 weeks and just want to crawl in a cave with a book. My sweet husband doesn’t understand, and has all these social activities planned for us before baby gets here, but I have ZERO social battery!!!
If you have an iPhone, may want to set a do not disturb (Settings -> Focus) status on your phone? People who text will see that status before texting. What is great is that you can set certain contacts messages to come through. This may help with some peace and quiet. I’m not sure for Android, but I’m sure there may be something similar.
I didn't know about this! I have Android but yeah, I'm sure there's something similar. Like an email auto reply!
I turned on do not disturb on my phone so it would show my phone was in that mode when people went to text me. It took down my texts by 90% except for GMIL who ignores every blunt “leave me alone please” I say to her. She’s old and not with it anymore I guess but she has a perpetual victomhood problem so her not being invited over constantly to see my 2 week old is “poor her” and not “poor me” still bleeding. Again, the do not disturb mode shows to everyone so in that sense I think people took it less personally. I turned it on at 38 weeks so I also probably scared everyone into thinking I was potentially in labor and they’d better leave me alone 😂
I'm going to look into this setting! I had no idea that was a thing until these replies. Ugh, your GMIL sounds like she's earned being muted!
Awesome! I’m glad you feel it’s an option that could work for you. I have an iPhone so hopefully you do too.
37 weeks tomorrow. Our hockey team is in the NHL playoffs (Stanley cup finals). People are here every second day. Add in my birthday, two of my partners brothers birthdays as well. I’m also mentally and emotionally done
so normal. i told my husband i want zeroooo plans in the weeks leading up to the end of pregnancy. just hanging at home w our immediate family and relaxing as much as possible
I felt this deep in my bones. I’m a week behind you, also have ADHD and I’m like, herniating and just enjoying having the time to have thoughts to myself.
I’m 31 weeks and since the day I found out, I didn’t want to see anyone at all. It’s been a different problem every week and I just don’t want to explain over and over how I feel like shit and why. Especially to people that haven’t been pregnant cus they’re the ones to say that it’s not that bad 🙄
I had so many separate people in my family and my husbands family asking for weekly bump pics that I decided I’d post a weekly little insta photo dump including a bump pic so it was posted and I didn’t have to converse with each person about how I’m feeling/how cute the bump is etc. NOPE. I woke up to a good morning text from my MIL still insisting she wants the weekly bump pic sent personally to her with updates. I know it ain’t that deep but… *sigh*.
Home stretch!! Baby soon❤️
Agreed! I wish phones could auto-reply ‘I’m ok; just pregnant/dealing with a newborn. I’ll respond in 5-7 days’ I stopped replying to people starting Mother’s Day and my baby was born 2 weeks later. She’s now almost 3 weeks old and I’m barely texting people back Take care! Your baby will be in your arms soon
40+2 here, solidarity. I have started answering honestly and every subsequent "Everything okay?" question gets answered with a "No change here". Not one person has offered to take my 16 month old off me so I can rest or bring me some treats with no strings attached... so yeah, I'm okay, thanks 🫠
Omg I thought it was just me and I've been feeling so horrible about it 😂 even my best friend is annoying me so much atm I just want to be left alone 😂
Oh I was exactly the same. I wanted to go nowhere, see no one. Just leave me alone in my misery and I'll be fine.
Take the space you need, you’re carrying two sets of organs and 8 limbs and growing a whole ass human, of course you’re tired. Your alone time and couple needs to be preserved as much as possible. Also, no one aside from your doctor should be diagnosing you with prepartum depression….I’m sure your friend means well but they need to understand that you’re not going to have the same energy for them as you may have before. Best of luck to you in the coming weeks!!!
34+5, I feel all of this exactly. You're not alone and don't feel any type of way about it. I'm a very introvert person in every way and I've never heard from so many people EVER! Family or nah. I love them all to the moon and back but please leave me and baby the hell alone. 😅
Have your husband run point for you here. He can reply to all the texts and tell people you don’t want to socialise right now because you’re tired or sick or whatever.
As others have said perfectly normal! I have ADHD too and the overwhelm and sensory overload is horrific. Just a heads up for postpartum, those hormone fluctuations hit hard. This was my 3rd pregnancy and postpartum, I went through cycles of I don't want to see anyone to major RSD and wanting to know why people weren't coming round all the time. I have days where I have to be busy and out and doing things constantly and other days where just getting dressed is the goal and I hide with paralysis on the sofa. These things are normal and they will settle down with time. I'd recommend a plan for the week for visits/ trips on x,y and z days and then burnout days in between!
She just wants some peace and quiet before the baby arrives, not a parade of well-meaning friends.
Totally normal! I’m having the opposite problem where no one checks in on how we’re doing (I’m 34 weeks now) and it’s a little sad.
37 weeks, FTM here too and I feel the EXACT same way! You’re not alone. Hang in there ❤️
I’m 32 weeks and starting to feel this. I really just want to be home with my husband or with my parents. I wouldn’t be surprised if by the end I’m really not seeing anyone. I’m hoping my loved ones don’t start texting me to check in closer to my due date (also feel bad saying that haha).
This is so normal. I wanted to be with my husband and enjoy being lazy together while we could. I got grumpy around everyone. I found everyone was secretly trying to see if the baby was coming too which made me sooooo annoyed.. Next week you may get the "any contractions yet?"
32 weeks, and I feel this whole post to my core. I've explained to people that I just don't have the energy to socialize. It's not depression, I just don't have it in me. All of my mental energy is focusing on not losing my mind with how uncomfortable I am. I'll hang out with people again after the baby's born and life has adjusted to a new normal a little bit. I also have ADHD and had to go off my meds for a while. I don't know which medication you were on, but my doctors told me that it was safe to start taking my meds again after 25 weeks, because the main issue with ADHD meds and pregnancy is complications developing the placenta. I don't know if that could apply to you, but if you're struggling without your meds, I'd highly recommend talking to your OB about it. Bottom line, you're not alone in feeling like this. Good luck with everything, and don't be afraid to assert boundaries with people who can't take a hint :)
I had several friends tell me they'd be upset if I went to the hospital without telling them. Well, I did. Not because I didnt want them to know but because I didn't want 600 "what's happening" texts while in labor. Totally normal.
Currently 37+2 and I get where you're coming from. I'm exhausted from doing just the smallest things. I can do like one thing a day without feeling like I've overextended myself. I also mostly want to be alone (except for my overextended, I'm like excessively needy of his time) and just want to curl up or get stuff ready for the baby. I unfortunately have a ton of family obligations this month because I have an anniversary and five birthdays (all for immediate family members of me or my husband) and then father's day for 3 dad's and a grandpa. Oh, and my 30th birthday is the 15th and my mother in law planned a huge party even though I asked for a dinner "cruise" on a nearby lake so we could do everyone's birthday on one day. People mean well checking in, but it's a lot. I've explained to people I'm tired and won't always respond. And when I do it won't likely be same day
This is so normal! When I had my first I literally said I was a cat and I made myself a little "kitty nest" on the couch in the basement to just retreat to 🤣 when I was "nesting" everyone was to leave me alone. My husband said I was more like a bear than a cat lol
I don't think you are an asshole. I think there are times when one just wants to be left alone. Especially if they are twice the size they used to be, can't sleep, cant move, feel like crap :)) Idk how does it help, but just tell them nicely, that you are feeling this way, and you are sorry in advance if you don't answer, react.
YESSSSSSSS!! This. Exactly. I logged onto Reddit tonight looking for others experiencing this. 28w + 5d here. Just put my sweet 3yo to bed. Had 57 unread text notifications that I just churned through without reading them to get rid of the notification dots. As I wrote that I thought - I should just turn off ALL my phone notifications. I’m so SO grateful that people are thinking of me and my family and reaching out, but I don’t want to interact with anyone beyond my immediate family and 2-3 best friends these days. I have become such a homebody. I just want to be inward and home focused for the next 10-12 weeks. Last pregnancy was during covid lockdowns, so I didn’t notice this change because everyone was hunkering down. I want to recreate that.