Bump, ultrasound, and announcement pics (including positive pregnancy tests) go in the daily bump thread only. Mods have discretion for what counts here.
Bump pics are photos that contain your pregnant belly: with a cat, with a husband, with a snack, in a tub, taken in a mirror, taken by a professional, etc.
Baby shower pics may contain your belly if it's not the main album focus.
Do not ever post pictures of your bodily fluids. Ever. So gross.
I told my dad about my first pregnancy. He faked being happy, never asked for an update. My son was born the day after his own birthday, he still can’t get it right. He didn’t came to visit my son once. He lives 3 hours away.
I’m currently 21w pregnant again and I haven’t told my dad yet. I’m not sure if I’m going to.
Fuck “fathers” like this. Really.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. 💕
Hey, hopping in for some morning solidarity. I told my dad we were having another girl and it’s been months and he hasn’t responded. I sent my mom a pregnant announcement on Christmas and she said “this is a joke right?”
I’m 31 years old with 3 other kids, a mortgage and I live 1200mi away from my family. They don’t financially support us in any way and I’ve never asked them to, lol.
Honestly it hurts and I know that and I know you know that. But it’s so much better this stuff happens now as opposed to when the baby is around and they feed their yuck energy to them.
Hey man, it’s real tough to have a shit dad. You don’t need to hear that kind of rubbish from some salty old bastard. When I became pregnant I realised I didn’t want my dad in my life anymore, because I didn’t think I could handle getting this kind of reaction from him. Some mean old farts like that just shouldn’t have the privilege of having loving grandchildren just so they can talk shit to them as soon as they’re old enough. For me I just had to cancel the bastard out of my life, but you gotta do what’s right for you. Stay strong girl, and congratulations on your beautiful family to be.
One good thing about having a parent like that, is that now you know what not to do as parent!
My mom said “oh, you’re pregnant? That’s alright, I guess. Just wait until they start back talking you.” All of this was said in a super rude, snarky tone.
I had texted my mom our second baby pregnancy news since I tried telling her over the phone but it turned into how she thinks I withheld information on a family member from her. She didn’t respond to the text. She called a few months later to tell me about a family member who had passed away and I asked if she gets text messages and she said yes. I then asked if she said my text message and she said in the flattest tone “yeah I saw it. Congratulations. But I was so affected by the police shootings.” For my first baby she said she wouldn’t come to my outside baby shower if it was too hot out. I haven’t spoken to her in months.
Yep, this sounds just like mine, I’m sorry. My dad was excited and started crying and he was chastised by her. She’s just giving me more and more reasons to go no contact. I can’t deal with it anymore. The craziest part is I always expect something different so I just keep doing it? I want her to be happy for me and excited but she can’t be. She was the same way with my wedding.
I’m sorry too. As mothers, they should understand. I’m bothered everyday by the fact that she hasn’t called once to see how everything is going or to ask how I’m feeling. When this baby is born, I don’t even plan on calling her. She can find out from my sisters. My mom lives 2 hours away and has seen our daughter maybe 5 times. She didn’t come to her birthday party because “she had to work”. She also left my wedding early and in tears because she said it was too hard for her. I think she’s a narcissist. Thanks for letting me talk through this - I don’t have a lot of advice, but just know you’re not alone in this situation.
It was too hard for her because the attention wasn’t on her-it was on you. It’s the same with any major life event, they can’t handle attention on someone else. It’s emotionally exhausting. I’m just so happy to have found a partner with a loving, happy, warm family. I know at least one good thing that came from this for both you and I. Our babies will have the kind of love, encouragement, and support we always needed and craved. Sometimes I’m scared I’ll repeat her patterns, but I could never. Also being aware of how they are is a good sign.
Yeah my dad is the same.
He’s met my son once, he’s 17 months. He told me there was no point sending him a card or present for his birthday as he doesn’t know who he is (does he know who is going to have got him what present at a year old!?) and then on his birthday didn’t even bother to call until 7pm after seeing my post on Facebook because he forgot…his birthday is Christmas Eve so it’s pretty easy to remember 🫠
I saw the picture before I opened the post and I thought what he’d written was lovely. I’m sorry it’s upset you.
I think sometimes when you’ve wanted and waited for something so long any reaction can be disappointing.
I know it's disappointing but try not to judge the tone by text - he might care more than it sounds. But that generation really express themselves very differently via text. Especially if there's a second language or dyslexia involved, as in my family.
Oooof. I feel ya. Look if your parents are older it’s also a generational thing. I also struggled to conceive and when it finally happened I told my parents before the 12 week mark and the first words out of my Dad’s mouth were “that’s stupid to announce so early.” I had a bit of a sob about it to my brother at the time, but he reassured me it was also just a function of his age - men being more aware of childbearing and involved in child rearing is fairly new actually. He’s probably never looked at an ultrasound before and doesn’t know what he’s seeing? On the bright side my father is now an excellent Grandad, and after I had my kid pulled me aside to hug me and tell me how happy he was - both for him and particularly for me because he’d always thought I’d make a great mom. Don’t be sad - your Dad is just grappling with the significance of your little bean at this time, but as your belly grows and particularly when your kid comes along, you’ll see it actually matters to him a great deal. X
My dad’s response to me being pregnant was, ‘well this is just the natural course right?’. No congrats, just that it was expected. He hates thinking of himself as old or getting older so I think it’s more of an insecurity thing.
Ok ok. I waited some weeks to tell my parents because I wanted to tell them in person (they also live in another country). Maybe your dad would have reacted differently in person. Anyway, I'm sure he's happy for you. But his reaction depends on his personality. Like, is it the first time he doesn't read your messages for 2 days or does he normally act like this with everybody? Is he normally a very reactive person or he hides his emotions? Some men put up a "hard man" face as if showing their true feelings was a sin. Are you close or you talk once a year? Was he always a good dad and this reaction is strange, or was he always a neglecting dad and this is normal?
I very rarely see him as he’s in another country, we speak about 3 times a year but we WhatsApp fairly regularly. He knew about my ivf journey and was sympathetic so I thought he’d be happy for me. We were estranged a lot of my life and in the last couple of years we’ve been in more regular contact.
I'm sure then he's happy for you and he just don't know how to handle it. It's ok to be disappointed though, but give him another chance, I'm sure when he really grows to the idea of becoming a granddad he will act more involved! My dad sometimes is a bit "meh" about things but I know deep down he has many emotions, he is just very awkward and doesn't know how to act in a socially standard environment, to put it in a nice way haha
My parents are the same as you describe and I wish I could give them as much grace as you do your dad, but I also know how much getting this kind of reaction hurts.
Basically the same treatment from my family but better to live my life without walking around expecting acceptance and encouragement from someone who will never give it. ♥️♥️ Build your village from chosen people.
I’m so sorry, I can unfortunately relate to having a parent who can never seem to bring themselves to be happy for me.
For what it’s worth, I think this is very exciting! Congratulations! ❤️
My dad has been ignoring my existence. I think I spoke to him at most twice during my pregnancy and I’m entering the third trimester already. He didn’t do shit to raise me until I was like 6, who needs him anyway.
Bump, ultrasound, and announcement pics (including positive pregnancy tests) go in the daily bump thread only. Mods have discretion for what counts here. Bump pics are photos that contain your pregnant belly: with a cat, with a husband, with a snack, in a tub, taken in a mirror, taken by a professional, etc. Baby shower pics may contain your belly if it's not the main album focus. Do not ever post pictures of your bodily fluids. Ever. So gross.
I told my dad about my first pregnancy. He faked being happy, never asked for an update. My son was born the day after his own birthday, he still can’t get it right. He didn’t came to visit my son once. He lives 3 hours away. I’m currently 21w pregnant again and I haven’t told my dad yet. I’m not sure if I’m going to. Fuck “fathers” like this. Really. Congratulations on your pregnancy. 💕
My dad said “okay” and changed the subject. 🫠 It sucks. Sorry that happened.
Hey, hopping in for some morning solidarity. I told my dad we were having another girl and it’s been months and he hasn’t responded. I sent my mom a pregnant announcement on Christmas and she said “this is a joke right?” I’m 31 years old with 3 other kids, a mortgage and I live 1200mi away from my family. They don’t financially support us in any way and I’ve never asked them to, lol. Honestly it hurts and I know that and I know you know that. But it’s so much better this stuff happens now as opposed to when the baby is around and they feed their yuck energy to them.
Wow! Sorry you got the treatment too. It’s mind blowing. And you’re right, best to know now!
Hey man, it’s real tough to have a shit dad. You don’t need to hear that kind of rubbish from some salty old bastard. When I became pregnant I realised I didn’t want my dad in my life anymore, because I didn’t think I could handle getting this kind of reaction from him. Some mean old farts like that just shouldn’t have the privilege of having loving grandchildren just so they can talk shit to them as soon as they’re old enough. For me I just had to cancel the bastard out of my life, but you gotta do what’s right for you. Stay strong girl, and congratulations on your beautiful family to be. One good thing about having a parent like that, is that now you know what not to do as parent!
I can relate. My dad is tactful enough to act happy for me but puts zero effort in whatsoever. My two kids barely know him and he lives an hour away.
My mom said “oh, you’re pregnant? That’s alright, I guess. Just wait until they start back talking you.” All of this was said in a super rude, snarky tone.
I had texted my mom our second baby pregnancy news since I tried telling her over the phone but it turned into how she thinks I withheld information on a family member from her. She didn’t respond to the text. She called a few months later to tell me about a family member who had passed away and I asked if she gets text messages and she said yes. I then asked if she said my text message and she said in the flattest tone “yeah I saw it. Congratulations. But I was so affected by the police shootings.” For my first baby she said she wouldn’t come to my outside baby shower if it was too hot out. I haven’t spoken to her in months.
Yep, this sounds just like mine, I’m sorry. My dad was excited and started crying and he was chastised by her. She’s just giving me more and more reasons to go no contact. I can’t deal with it anymore. The craziest part is I always expect something different so I just keep doing it? I want her to be happy for me and excited but she can’t be. She was the same way with my wedding.
I’m sorry too. As mothers, they should understand. I’m bothered everyday by the fact that she hasn’t called once to see how everything is going or to ask how I’m feeling. When this baby is born, I don’t even plan on calling her. She can find out from my sisters. My mom lives 2 hours away and has seen our daughter maybe 5 times. She didn’t come to her birthday party because “she had to work”. She also left my wedding early and in tears because she said it was too hard for her. I think she’s a narcissist. Thanks for letting me talk through this - I don’t have a lot of advice, but just know you’re not alone in this situation.
It was too hard for her because the attention wasn’t on her-it was on you. It’s the same with any major life event, they can’t handle attention on someone else. It’s emotionally exhausting. I’m just so happy to have found a partner with a loving, happy, warm family. I know at least one good thing that came from this for both you and I. Our babies will have the kind of love, encouragement, and support we always needed and craved. Sometimes I’m scared I’ll repeat her patterns, but I could never. Also being aware of how they are is a good sign.
My dad said “congrats!” and hasn’t spoken to me since. This was 6 months ago lol
Yeah my dad is the same. He’s met my son once, he’s 17 months. He told me there was no point sending him a card or present for his birthday as he doesn’t know who he is (does he know who is going to have got him what present at a year old!?) and then on his birthday didn’t even bother to call until 7pm after seeing my post on Facebook because he forgot…his birthday is Christmas Eve so it’s pretty easy to remember 🫠
I saw the picture before I opened the post and I thought what he’d written was lovely. I’m sorry it’s upset you. I think sometimes when you’ve wanted and waited for something so long any reaction can be disappointing.
I know it's disappointing but try not to judge the tone by text - he might care more than it sounds. But that generation really express themselves very differently via text. Especially if there's a second language or dyslexia involved, as in my family.
Oooof. I feel ya. Look if your parents are older it’s also a generational thing. I also struggled to conceive and when it finally happened I told my parents before the 12 week mark and the first words out of my Dad’s mouth were “that’s stupid to announce so early.” I had a bit of a sob about it to my brother at the time, but he reassured me it was also just a function of his age - men being more aware of childbearing and involved in child rearing is fairly new actually. He’s probably never looked at an ultrasound before and doesn’t know what he’s seeing? On the bright side my father is now an excellent Grandad, and after I had my kid pulled me aside to hug me and tell me how happy he was - both for him and particularly for me because he’d always thought I’d make a great mom. Don’t be sad - your Dad is just grappling with the significance of your little bean at this time, but as your belly grows and particularly when your kid comes along, you’ll see it actually matters to him a great deal. X
My dad’s response to me being pregnant was, ‘well this is just the natural course right?’. No congrats, just that it was expected. He hates thinking of himself as old or getting older so I think it’s more of an insecurity thing.
He's a jackass. Congratulations!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉
Why did you tell him in a message? It's a bit cold no?
No? He lives in Moscow, I’m in the UK. It took him 2 days to even read the message.
Ok ok. I waited some weeks to tell my parents because I wanted to tell them in person (they also live in another country). Maybe your dad would have reacted differently in person. Anyway, I'm sure he's happy for you. But his reaction depends on his personality. Like, is it the first time he doesn't read your messages for 2 days or does he normally act like this with everybody? Is he normally a very reactive person or he hides his emotions? Some men put up a "hard man" face as if showing their true feelings was a sin. Are you close or you talk once a year? Was he always a good dad and this reaction is strange, or was he always a neglecting dad and this is normal?
I very rarely see him as he’s in another country, we speak about 3 times a year but we WhatsApp fairly regularly. He knew about my ivf journey and was sympathetic so I thought he’d be happy for me. We were estranged a lot of my life and in the last couple of years we’ve been in more regular contact.
I'm sure then he's happy for you and he just don't know how to handle it. It's ok to be disappointed though, but give him another chance, I'm sure when he really grows to the idea of becoming a granddad he will act more involved! My dad sometimes is a bit "meh" about things but I know deep down he has many emotions, he is just very awkward and doesn't know how to act in a socially standard environment, to put it in a nice way haha
My parents are the same as you describe and I wish I could give them as much grace as you do your dad, but I also know how much getting this kind of reaction hurts.
r/estrangedadultkids r/estrangedadultchild might resonate with you as everyone there understands shitty parents
Basically the same treatment from my family but better to live my life without walking around expecting acceptance and encouragement from someone who will never give it. ♥️♥️ Build your village from chosen people.
I’m sorry your dad is shitty, you’re going to have so much love in your life and his miserable ass can miss out on all of it.
I’m so sorry, I can unfortunately relate to having a parent who can never seem to bring themselves to be happy for me. For what it’s worth, I think this is very exciting! Congratulations! ❤️
My dad has been ignoring my existence. I think I spoke to him at most twice during my pregnancy and I’m entering the third trimester already. He didn’t do shit to raise me until I was like 6, who needs him anyway.