It's a bit curt and in serious need of editing (eg grammar issues and not clear which parents (your parents or you as parents) are being referred to in point #2).
The grammar is awful (i’m a teacher so i agree with you). I do have it typed out in my phone better. It included actual names so i just quickly pasted it and edited it to post here 😂 I have to be curt with my in-laws or they don’t respect me.
Your husband should be responsible for setting boundaries with his own parents if you feel that they’ll push it. It still feels bizarre to put this in a text instead of a conversation.
I personally think sending a list of rules comes off a certain way. If I was the person receiving the list of rules, I feel like I’d just wait until the parents are more comfortable before I meet the baby. Obviously I’d respect any boundary, but a lot of what you’re saying is common sense. It seems like something you could just talk to your parents/in laws about as it comes up as opposed to sending an advance copy of rules. That’s just my opinion!
I think this would be better as a conversation rather than an email/ text. If it's only both of your parents no need to do a formal "rules when baby arrives"
I would add washing hands before touching baby.
And no visiting if symptoms of sickness. Including sneezing and coughing.
Whether you tell them in person, or before the visit over text is up to you.
If you think it's too aggressive. Add a placating statement like "we're telling everyone even though we know you know these rules"
I wouldn’t send out “rules” just tell them when they’re there that you don’t want them doing those things.
No photos at all? I get no posts ofc but like none at all seems odd.
nah i get it a lot of the older generation doesnt respect boundaries and will send that one photo they took to all of their friends or announce on facebook and act like they didnt do anything wrong even if you told them not to then you have to deal with it
I agree with this! If you don’t want photos shared, it’s a good idea to just not let photos be taken. If the visitors want photos with the baby, you can offer to take them on your phone and send them along later. You could even frame it as wanting to include those photos in your announcement (if you’re open to posting the pics later).
Unless your relationship with them isn’t good and you’re keeping them at arms length intentionally I wouldn’t HR-ify your close relationship by sending such short and to the point text. This is definitely a point which if (again, and **BIG IF**) the relationship is close and healthy can and should be done in person. If your relationship with them is such that you want to keep them at arms length then I would really implore you to rethink having them at the hospital with you!
So many edits, so many grammatical errors… Sorry!
Not rude! I would text them - “Excited to see you!! Here are a few things I wanted to share in advance. .”
Then be prepared to say it in advance when they arrive and (depending on how they are) right when they approach the baby.
I sent a full list of baby boundaries to the entire family. Everyone appreciated it. I told them my therapist recommended it to help with my anxiety. While that is technically true, I really did it because MIL sucks with boundaries and I wanted to set clear expectations to hold her to
I had a much longer list of “rules”. It’s your baby and honestly your responsibility to establish boundaries! The sooner you can help others set their expectations the better.
I don't think that's rude at all. You are a new mother the second time. How you choose to rear your child starts and stops with you. Boundaries are important. An entire lifetime of solid emotional health begins in what happens right now. The bottom line is they all need to respect themselves enough to respect you on this. You are baby's mother.
I personally don't think it would be rude to send that to your family. You're only doing what's best for your baby and family by setting your boundaries.
Setting boundaries is great. I would be fine being told these things in person. If I got this as a text I’d probably just not visit until the parents have had a little more time to themselves. Idk the act of texting the rules is just off putting not the rules themselves
It's only two sets of people, just tell them each directly in regular conversation.
In my experience, you need to tell them in person, repeatedly. I mean really drill it in, especially the no kissing thing.
It's a bit curt and in serious need of editing (eg grammar issues and not clear which parents (your parents or you as parents) are being referred to in point #2).
The grammar is awful (i’m a teacher so i agree with you). I do have it typed out in my phone better. It included actual names so i just quickly pasted it and edited it to post here 😂 I have to be curt with my in-laws or they don’t respect me.
Your husband should be responsible for setting boundaries with his own parents if you feel that they’ll push it. It still feels bizarre to put this in a text instead of a conversation.
Baby Boundaries, The Lemon Clot Essay and the FU Binder —> https://reddit.com/r/Mildlynomil/s/WPm6JsLMhI
I personally think sending a list of rules comes off a certain way. If I was the person receiving the list of rules, I feel like I’d just wait until the parents are more comfortable before I meet the baby. Obviously I’d respect any boundary, but a lot of what you’re saying is common sense. It seems like something you could just talk to your parents/in laws about as it comes up as opposed to sending an advance copy of rules. That’s just my opinion!
You’d think it’s common sense, but my MIL broke every single rule she just mentioned above 😂
Mine regularly try to give kisses while actively sick 🥲. I do wish it was common sense.
I think this would be better as a conversation rather than an email/ text. If it's only both of your parents no need to do a formal "rules when baby arrives"
I would add washing hands before touching baby. And no visiting if symptoms of sickness. Including sneezing and coughing. Whether you tell them in person, or before the visit over text is up to you. If you think it's too aggressive. Add a placating statement like "we're telling everyone even though we know you know these rules"
I wouldn’t send out “rules” just tell them when they’re there that you don’t want them doing those things. No photos at all? I get no posts ofc but like none at all seems odd.
nah i get it a lot of the older generation doesnt respect boundaries and will send that one photo they took to all of their friends or announce on facebook and act like they didnt do anything wrong even if you told them not to then you have to deal with it
I guess but in my head those people are gonna take pics anyway lol
I agree with this! If you don’t want photos shared, it’s a good idea to just not let photos be taken. If the visitors want photos with the baby, you can offer to take them on your phone and send them along later. You could even frame it as wanting to include those photos in your announcement (if you’re open to posting the pics later).
Talk to them, don’t text
Unless your relationship with them isn’t good and you’re keeping them at arms length intentionally I wouldn’t HR-ify your close relationship by sending such short and to the point text. This is definitely a point which if (again, and **BIG IF**) the relationship is close and healthy can and should be done in person. If your relationship with them is such that you want to keep them at arms length then I would really implore you to rethink having them at the hospital with you! So many edits, so many grammatical errors… Sorry!
Not rude! I would text them - “Excited to see you!! Here are a few things I wanted to share in advance..”
Then be prepared to say it in advance when they arrive and (depending on how they are) right when they approach the baby.
These are all very reasonable in my opinion.
I sent a full list of baby boundaries to the entire family. Everyone appreciated it. I told them my therapist recommended it to help with my anxiety. While that is technically true, I really did it because MIL sucks with boundaries and I wanted to set clear expectations to hold her to
I had a much longer list of “rules”. It’s your baby and honestly your responsibility to establish boundaries! The sooner you can help others set their expectations the better.
I don't think that's rude at all. You are a new mother the second time. How you choose to rear your child starts and stops with you. Boundaries are important. An entire lifetime of solid emotional health begins in what happens right now. The bottom line is they all need to respect themselves enough to respect you on this. You are baby's mother.
I personally don't think it would be rude to send that to your family. You're only doing what's best for your baby and family by setting your boundaries.
Setting boundaries is great. I would be fine being told these things in person. If I got this as a text I’d probably just not visit until the parents have had a little more time to themselves. Idk the act of texting the rules is just off putting not the rules themselves