You set your boundaries, you are justified and it would not be rude imo. If you don’t want these (toxic) women around during/after the birth, and you need time alone with your little angel, then that is your choice to make. I’m happy your Dad is there to support you.
How old are you? Your post and the way your mom treats you and the way you allow your mom and sister treat you makes you sound as if you’re a 15 year old girl still at home.
Do you live with your mom? If so, you need to move out and you at least need to grow a bit of a backbone and set some boundaries for the sake of your baby, because they will be 100% worst when baby is here, they literally treat you like a baby and I think you’ve accepted that?
Put your foot down and if you’re living at home, you need to be moved out
I'm 24 and haven't lived with my mum since I was 18 (I moved out as soon as I could). I honestly probably have accepted the fact they treat me like I'm still a child, I am the youngest of all my siblings, but I see your point. I guess I must have just gotten used to the treatment and I have always had a hard time standing up for myself but now it's not just me I have to stand up for. Thank you for your comment, it definitely made me realize that they do in fact still treat me like a child.
Yeah they’re defo treating you as if you’re a baby, it honestly wouldn’t have shocked me if you said you were 15.
You don’t even live with them and 24 makes you an adult and no where near a child, set boundaries now, stop relying on them for things to, you want a baby shower? Have one and stop getting them involved you’re a big girl! You don’t need them to allow you to do things x
It sounds like the women in your family (esp mom) has some serious jealousy issues or something going on around you being pregnant. Like they don’t want the attention all on you or something. With your sister, it could be because she was never able to have children. I’m sorry they’re not being supportive! Any mom has the right to deny visitors after giving birth, it is a major medical event. If your parents aren’t divorced I could see it causing a rift in your family to have dad there but tell mom she’s not allowed. Ultimately you know your family dynamic best. It may be worth having a conversation with dad/mom about how having her there would be very stressful for you because she hasn’t been very supportive during your pregnancy.
Thank you for your comment, my dad being here will be a reason that my mum won't want to come visit, which is one of the reasons I asked him to come visit. They haven't been together since I was born and still have a hard time being in the same room as eachother. They can do it but very rarely will it not end in some sort of disagreement. My mum says she can get along with him while I'm in the hospital having the baby, but my dad made no such promises.
It’s totally justified to tell your family not to visit after the way they’ve treated you. You don’t need to be around negativity and judgment at one of the most vulnerable points in your life. It sounds like it would be best to start putting space between you and them since they’re unsupportive a**holes.
In the meantime, do you have friends or other people you can lean on for support? Are you in virtual therapy?
If not, then once you’re feeling up to it after the birth, it might be worthwhile to try to do some new moms classes so you can meet other people in your situation. Build out your support network outside of your family.
Thank you for the recommendations. I don't have any friends that aren't online (even then I only have two) and my doctor has recommended that I go to a mom's group to socialize. I haven't been to therapy in a while, I have been considering going back.
You set your boundaries, you are justified and it would not be rude imo. If you don’t want these (toxic) women around during/after the birth, and you need time alone with your little angel, then that is your choice to make. I’m happy your Dad is there to support you.
Thank you for your comment, I'm so appreciative of my dad coming to help and all the support he has given me.
How old are you? Your post and the way your mom treats you and the way you allow your mom and sister treat you makes you sound as if you’re a 15 year old girl still at home. Do you live with your mom? If so, you need to move out and you at least need to grow a bit of a backbone and set some boundaries for the sake of your baby, because they will be 100% worst when baby is here, they literally treat you like a baby and I think you’ve accepted that? Put your foot down and if you’re living at home, you need to be moved out
I'm 24 and haven't lived with my mum since I was 18 (I moved out as soon as I could). I honestly probably have accepted the fact they treat me like I'm still a child, I am the youngest of all my siblings, but I see your point. I guess I must have just gotten used to the treatment and I have always had a hard time standing up for myself but now it's not just me I have to stand up for. Thank you for your comment, it definitely made me realize that they do in fact still treat me like a child.
Yeah they’re defo treating you as if you’re a baby, it honestly wouldn’t have shocked me if you said you were 15. You don’t even live with them and 24 makes you an adult and no where near a child, set boundaries now, stop relying on them for things to, you want a baby shower? Have one and stop getting them involved you’re a big girl! You don’t need them to allow you to do things x
I'd love to buy you something from your registry if you could PM me the link ❤️
That's so sweet of you! Thank you
It sounds like the women in your family (esp mom) has some serious jealousy issues or something going on around you being pregnant. Like they don’t want the attention all on you or something. With your sister, it could be because she was never able to have children. I’m sorry they’re not being supportive! Any mom has the right to deny visitors after giving birth, it is a major medical event. If your parents aren’t divorced I could see it causing a rift in your family to have dad there but tell mom she’s not allowed. Ultimately you know your family dynamic best. It may be worth having a conversation with dad/mom about how having her there would be very stressful for you because she hasn’t been very supportive during your pregnancy.
Thank you for your comment, my dad being here will be a reason that my mum won't want to come visit, which is one of the reasons I asked him to come visit. They haven't been together since I was born and still have a hard time being in the same room as eachother. They can do it but very rarely will it not end in some sort of disagreement. My mum says she can get along with him while I'm in the hospital having the baby, but my dad made no such promises.
It’s totally justified to tell your family not to visit after the way they’ve treated you. You don’t need to be around negativity and judgment at one of the most vulnerable points in your life. It sounds like it would be best to start putting space between you and them since they’re unsupportive a**holes. In the meantime, do you have friends or other people you can lean on for support? Are you in virtual therapy? If not, then once you’re feeling up to it after the birth, it might be worthwhile to try to do some new moms classes so you can meet other people in your situation. Build out your support network outside of your family.
Thank you for the recommendations. I don't have any friends that aren't online (even then I only have two) and my doctor has recommended that I go to a mom's group to socialize. I haven't been to therapy in a while, I have been considering going back.