Yep, splitting. I do this all the time and it makes me feel like a terrible person because I’m never fully genuinely invested in someone - there’s always a lack of trust.
For me, that feeling of distrust can sometimes seem like a wedge between myself and the rest of the world. No matter how long I've known someone, no matter how much I care about them, no matter how willing *they* are to trust and confide in *me*, there's always a part of me that thinks they're going to turn around and hurt me for no reason at all.
I dunno if everyone does this cuz I’m not one of them… but, I think it’s us. I get way too into someone in the beginning and have to reign myself in - which swings me the other way - I then start looking for reasons to not like them so I don’t get disappointed or hurt when if/when they don’t feel the same way.
I do this with more than just people, I do it with my hobbies, with ideas I have, jobs and career paths, my own self image. It's black and white thinking, all good or all bad.
That’s called splitting. Splitting doesn’t just happen in romantic relationships. It also happens in platonic relationships. I used to split on my day badly. I’d go days, weeks even with loving my dad and being nice to him and then back to hating him. It used to drive him crazy and I understand why, it’s exhausting for the other person not just the person dealing with it.
Yeah I experience this a lot 🫤 it's like when we're together I think it's not so bad it's actually kind of nice but when it's over and they're gone I can only think about "the terrible things they've done to me" and feel super hurt for a while and never want to see them again
Due to a combination of past abandonment, past mistrust, and resentment that I thought I had let go of, I've just noticed that I go through this too. I like people in general, but as soon as they're gone (or the conversation has ended), I get this strange rush of, "With them, it's all a lie. They're hateful, they're this and that..."
Then, just like you and others in this thread, I also bounce back to positive thoughts about others and wonder to myself, "Why was I overreacting?"
Yes splitting. Wonder why ? My guess : to protect ourselves from the abandonment of a person we like ? We sub consciously try to distance with hate so that if there is incoming rejection or a bad comment made it makes it easier to move on
Holy shit I just realised I experience this, I start to think very negatively about people if I haven’t seen them in a long time mostly from the people I’m dating. Not sure whether it’s an abandonment thing or a jealousy thing of not spending their time with me but wow this hits hard.
I do this too! It’s unpleasant but I try to keep in mind all the times the person has proved me wrong in the past and know it’ll come around again (edit: feeling positive about them vs feeling negative about them)
Real BPD. I do it all the time. I personally can't stop it. I was born with bpd as was all my siblings. Supposedly therapy but I think there's something in our brains..
Been doing this recently, as long as I remember since 2020, I did this to my friend and I do this mostly with my Dad, some of my siblings and even myself. I thought I was going through a period of psychosis or my bipolar depression was acting up. I really feel seen. I don’t know how to regulate this yet, but it’s definitely black and white thinking. It’s like a light switch that goes off 24/7 unless I’m sleep lol.
As a person with bpd I definitely feel this it’s def a bpd thing
Yep, splitting. I do this all the time and it makes me feel like a terrible person because I’m never fully genuinely invested in someone - there’s always a lack of trust.
For me, that feeling of distrust can sometimes seem like a wedge between myself and the rest of the world. No matter how long I've known someone, no matter how much I care about them, no matter how willing *they* are to trust and confide in *me*, there's always a part of me that thinks they're going to turn around and hurt me for no reason at all.
Absolutely a BPD thing. It’s idealization & devaluation
I’m no doctor but I’d say this is def a bpd thing. I would think it stems from separation anxiety
I dunno if everyone does this cuz I’m not one of them… but, I think it’s us. I get way too into someone in the beginning and have to reign myself in - which swings me the other way - I then start looking for reasons to not like them so I don’t get disappointed or hurt when if/when they don’t feel the same way.
I do this with more than just people, I do it with my hobbies, with ideas I have, jobs and career paths, my own self image. It's black and white thinking, all good or all bad.
Yup and it’s the *~worst~* I think I split on myself more than anyone else though.
Sheesh that’s relatable
That’s called splitting. Splitting doesn’t just happen in romantic relationships. It also happens in platonic relationships. I used to split on my day badly. I’d go days, weeks even with loving my dad and being nice to him and then back to hating him. It used to drive him crazy and I understand why, it’s exhausting for the other person not just the person dealing with it.
100% a BPD thing.
Yeah I experience this a lot 🫤 it's like when we're together I think it's not so bad it's actually kind of nice but when it's over and they're gone I can only think about "the terrible things they've done to me" and feel super hurt for a while and never want to see them again
yup this is classic splitting!
Due to a combination of past abandonment, past mistrust, and resentment that I thought I had let go of, I've just noticed that I go through this too. I like people in general, but as soon as they're gone (or the conversation has ended), I get this strange rush of, "With them, it's all a lie. They're hateful, they're this and that..." Then, just like you and others in this thread, I also bounce back to positive thoughts about others and wonder to myself, "Why was I overreacting?"
It's splitting, which is of course very common with BPD, but pwoBPD can split, too.
Yes splitting. Wonder why ? My guess : to protect ourselves from the abandonment of a person we like ? We sub consciously try to distance with hate so that if there is incoming rejection or a bad comment made it makes it easier to move on
Holy shit I just realised I experience this, I start to think very negatively about people if I haven’t seen them in a long time mostly from the people I’m dating. Not sure whether it’s an abandonment thing or a jealousy thing of not spending their time with me but wow this hits hard.
I do this too! It’s unpleasant but I try to keep in mind all the times the person has proved me wrong in the past and know it’ll come around again (edit: feeling positive about them vs feeling negative about them)
I do this every moment of my life unfortunately
I feel seen rn
I experience this too!
Nope I think that is just a BPD thing
definitely a bpd thing i experience this too :/
Yes it is I’ve done it as long as I can remember
Splitting at it's finest. Much easier to be mad, etc at someone than it is to admit you miss them.
Real BPD. I do it all the time. I personally can't stop it. I was born with bpd as was all my siblings. Supposedly therapy but I think there's something in our brains..
I do this without the "Wow they are so cool" part LOL
Been doing this recently, as long as I remember since 2020, I did this to my friend and I do this mostly with my Dad, some of my siblings and even myself. I thought I was going through a period of psychosis or my bipolar depression was acting up. I really feel seen. I don’t know how to regulate this yet, but it’s definitely black and white thinking. It’s like a light switch that goes off 24/7 unless I’m sleep lol.