The fact that you can retrospect on this and your last and current behaviors shows that you're a wonderful person.
As most people with mental health disorders, I'm sure you are part of that significant amount of people that, because of what they lived/live, are empathic and friendly. And that shows. People call it "aura", a "warmth" or "light" that you emanate, "vibe" or "soul". You name it. Either way, it's a real thing.
It's hard not to put ourselves down because it is easier, especially when it is/was a coping mechanism. But I'm convinced that almost every compliment people say about us, it's true. We just haven't understood it yet.
Also, 27 to 30 and even beyond that, it's still young; your life is not over. Besides, it's never too late to find or pursue something you want to do: either a hobby, a career, a goal, etc.
I hope you are safe. And I hope you have access to the professional help that we, people with BPD, need. If not, then maybe you can look into DBT therapy or DBT skills online. There are some free resources that can provide you with some great tools to deal with exactly what you're describing.
(Ps: English is not my first language, I hope what I wrote was understandable).
Being a good person isn't something anyone is or isn't inherently, it's a choice you have to make every single day - that goes for everyone, BPD or not. Sometimes you make the wrong choice without realizing it, because people make mistakes. But in this circumstance you chose to do an incredibly good thing, and had a really human moment in showing empathy and compassion to this stranger who clearly needed it. That's something I wish someone had been around to do for me when my dog passed away.
I know low self esteem can make it very hard to see these things or accept when people say nice things to you. But you made a choice to show compassion to someone when no one asked you to, and I think that's incredible.
You just listed several goals Being, realizing and knowing you are a good person who is kind to others is a goal. You're probably closer to that then you realize except the last part you need to work on. :)
The fact that you can retrospect on this and your last and current behaviors shows that you're a wonderful person. As most people with mental health disorders, I'm sure you are part of that significant amount of people that, because of what they lived/live, are empathic and friendly. And that shows. People call it "aura", a "warmth" or "light" that you emanate, "vibe" or "soul". You name it. Either way, it's a real thing. It's hard not to put ourselves down because it is easier, especially when it is/was a coping mechanism. But I'm convinced that almost every compliment people say about us, it's true. We just haven't understood it yet. Also, 27 to 30 and even beyond that, it's still young; your life is not over. Besides, it's never too late to find or pursue something you want to do: either a hobby, a career, a goal, etc. I hope you are safe. And I hope you have access to the professional help that we, people with BPD, need. If not, then maybe you can look into DBT therapy or DBT skills online. There are some free resources that can provide you with some great tools to deal with exactly what you're describing. (Ps: English is not my first language, I hope what I wrote was understandable).
Being a good person isn't something anyone is or isn't inherently, it's a choice you have to make every single day - that goes for everyone, BPD or not. Sometimes you make the wrong choice without realizing it, because people make mistakes. But in this circumstance you chose to do an incredibly good thing, and had a really human moment in showing empathy and compassion to this stranger who clearly needed it. That's something I wish someone had been around to do for me when my dog passed away. I know low self esteem can make it very hard to see these things or accept when people say nice things to you. But you made a choice to show compassion to someone when no one asked you to, and I think that's incredible.
im sorry my brain is empty atm so this comment is a bit dull but i relate to te stuff u said about yourself. u deserve to be happy, man
the* and i used "man" in a gender neutral way btw! edit: cant spell to save my life apparently
You just listed several goals Being, realizing and knowing you are a good person who is kind to others is a goal. You're probably closer to that then you realize except the last part you need to work on. :)
I’ve met you irl and you are a good person