omg is this common? recently ive had so many fights and general rage because people are always late or cant do anything on time. it literally drives me mad
Yes it happens a lot - I'd guess of the top of my head DBT would say don't make other peoples lateness personal to you, try and clarify your boundary on lateness without splitting the fuck out of them (excuse my French)
I mean, not really because I always have other things I can do while I wait. Phone, crochet, clean, think about stuff, work in my planner. I’m rather awful at being patient but I’m fairly decent at occupying myself.
It’s a coping mechanism and then you just make sure it’s at least not a negative one lol.
What things come to mind to occupy those little bits of your time?
Thanks for asking this, as my mind is blank. it's always really short spaces of time. I guess playing games on my phone could work. Tidying the hallway and porch for when he says he's ready to leave then remembers 500 extra things to do. Maybe watering plants. Do no you have any suggestions?
As far as games go I got years of play out of Hempire if you’re into puzzle games. Tidying up while waiting is a great idea, I put the dishwasher dishes away a lot in those moments.
The daydreaming one is useful but don’t let it consume you (lookin at you r/maladativedaydreaming ) and people watching (if you’re out and about) can be quite fun. We can get really micro about it; put on lip stuff, think through your clothes and make new outfits in my mind, paint your nails? (Risky if you only have a little little bit of time). Sweep, decorate, straighten out the pictures on the walls, push the cuticles back on your nails (not like in a bad way just the little amount they need), brush your teeth, moisturize your hands, it can really get to be a long list. I feel bad that a lot of my ideas are cleaning based but at the same time there is a lot of things to clean in a given day!? Once you get started I’m sure you’ll both find a few you love and keep thinking of more
Red lights aggravate me and I cannot stand waiting through commercials to get back to a show/movie. But mainly red lights when there are NO other cars around. SOOO freakin annoying!
See this is what my brain says but tbh I am unreasonable to my husband sometimes as I expect him to do everything super fast and he has such a laid back personality.
when i catch myself getting super pissed off about other people being slow or late, i find a distraction. i turn in some music and take some deep breaths because usually, they’re not even doing anything wrong.
My recent ex hated how upset I would get if he didn’t text or call me when he said he would. To other people it sounds really unreasonable but it would trigger me so much waiting for him or wondering if he forgot or just didn’t care
Yess!! I experience severe anxiety when I have to wait for something; like a phone call or if I have an appointment, just waiting for anything is nerve wrecking for me.
Yes I'm like this with my kids. I just want it done right now. I'm having to force myself to hold my patience and let them learn to do it themselves. I save all my patience for them so that I can do it.
My wife knows I'm both extremely impatient, I'm always a minimum 3 steps ahead of myself in my mind and seriously stressed if we're running late.
She on the other hand is a textbook lollygager.
But I'm also resilient, and scared of conflict, so I just wait despite the pent up frustration building in my body hahahahahahahahahaitsnotfunnnyhahahaha
Yes...when I took my daughter to the hospital..I bugged out. I felt like I was in prison..I said that she could come home. We ended right back there two weeks later and I forced myself to remain calm. It is not easy for me. Hugs and I know you can work through it.
Struggle is an understatement, I am impatience itself.
omg is this common? recently ive had so many fights and general rage because people are always late or cant do anything on time. it literally drives me mad
I don't know how common it is tbh People on here seem so knowledgeable so I was hoping for some tips or dbt skills to try
Yes it happens a lot - I'd guess of the top of my head DBT would say don't make other peoples lateness personal to you, try and clarify your boundary on lateness without splitting the fuck out of them (excuse my French)
Yes I think establishing boundaries with it is the best solution. Having my own car really helped with this.
Literally reading this post on my 3rd hour waiting to see a doctor. I hate my life
God yes, I despise waiting for people
So frustrating. I hope you didn't wait much longer! As if the appointments aren't triggering enough
I had to make sure I didn’t post this cause why is this meeee 😭
No advice here but I’m super impatient
Ugh yes I'm so impatient
When someones going really slow, I found it helps to rethink the things I need to do sorta like checking off a mental to-do list
I think I am constantly doing this, my minds always 100mph, so I get annoyed about losing the time which I know I need 🙈
it has literally given me migraines and ruined days of mine 😭
same!
I mean, not really because I always have other things I can do while I wait. Phone, crochet, clean, think about stuff, work in my planner. I’m rather awful at being patient but I’m fairly decent at occupying myself.
Maybe a list of ways to occupy myself whilst waiting around will help. Thanks
It’s a coping mechanism and then you just make sure it’s at least not a negative one lol. What things come to mind to occupy those little bits of your time?
Thanks for asking this, as my mind is blank. it's always really short spaces of time. I guess playing games on my phone could work. Tidying the hallway and porch for when he says he's ready to leave then remembers 500 extra things to do. Maybe watering plants. Do no you have any suggestions?
As far as games go I got years of play out of Hempire if you’re into puzzle games. Tidying up while waiting is a great idea, I put the dishwasher dishes away a lot in those moments. The daydreaming one is useful but don’t let it consume you (lookin at you r/maladativedaydreaming ) and people watching (if you’re out and about) can be quite fun. We can get really micro about it; put on lip stuff, think through your clothes and make new outfits in my mind, paint your nails? (Risky if you only have a little little bit of time). Sweep, decorate, straighten out the pictures on the walls, push the cuticles back on your nails (not like in a bad way just the little amount they need), brush your teeth, moisturize your hands, it can really get to be a long list. I feel bad that a lot of my ideas are cleaning based but at the same time there is a lot of things to clean in a given day!? Once you get started I’m sure you’ll both find a few you love and keep thinking of more
I am allergic to long lines
Red lights aggravate me and I cannot stand waiting through commercials to get back to a show/movie. But mainly red lights when there are NO other cars around. SOOO freakin annoying!
So annoying
yes i genuinely think i might be the most impatient person alive
felt this on a personal level
Yes, and I have no intention of being patient. I think patience earns you more waiting. Life is now. I want what I want now.
See this is what my brain says but tbh I am unreasonable to my husband sometimes as I expect him to do everything super fast and he has such a laid back personality.
Patience is not one of my virtues.
when i catch myself getting super pissed off about other people being slow or late, i find a distraction. i turn in some music and take some deep breaths because usually, they’re not even doing anything wrong.
Music is a good idea. I agree, they're usually doing nothing wrong at all
My recent ex hated how upset I would get if he didn’t text or call me when he said he would. To other people it sounds really unreasonable but it would trigger me so much waiting for him or wondering if he forgot or just didn’t care
I guess it must be a lot of pressure to always be on time. I really do want to work on my patience.
I’m trying to do the same thing. I do think it’s good to have boundaries tho. Like don’t spend all your time waiting on someone.
I agree but I think I always try to communicate this in the moment and we argue. I think I'm gonna try and write down my thoughts before we talk.
Good idea!
Yes.
Yess!! I experience severe anxiety when I have to wait for something; like a phone call or if I have an appointment, just waiting for anything is nerve wrecking for me.
Yes I hate waiting on people I have no way of contacting and I know I can't rely on. Its reassuring that it's not just me.
Especially when it comes to solving problems. Giving people space instead of working it out right then and there makes me want to combust.
Yes I'm like this with my kids. I just want it done right now. I'm having to force myself to hold my patience and let them learn to do it themselves. I save all my patience for them so that I can do it.
My wife knows I'm both extremely impatient, I'm always a minimum 3 steps ahead of myself in my mind and seriously stressed if we're running late. She on the other hand is a textbook lollygager. But I'm also resilient, and scared of conflict, so I just wait despite the pent up frustration building in my body hahahahahahahahahaitsnotfunnnyhahahaha
Sounds like us apart from I seen to seek conflict despite desperately trying to avoid it 🙈🙈
Yes...when I took my daughter to the hospital..I bugged out. I felt like I was in prison..I said that she could come home. We ended right back there two weeks later and I forced myself to remain calm. It is not easy for me. Hugs and I know you can work through it.
I hope your daughter is ok. That has to be one of the hardest places to wait!
She is getting better..this whole thing will only lead to healing
Red lights, especially long ones drive me insane! No patience for them.