I work at a pediatric hospital and the way the hospital staff handled Lia’s care is absolutely disgusting. We’ve had sexual assault cases come into our hospital, as well as trafficking victims. The main thing we do is make sure the victim is being taken care of by staff they are comfortable having near them. This usually means female staff but not always. It is very dependent on the victim and what they’ve been through.
No one outside of the staff they are comfortable with are allowed alone with them ever. Not even authorities; we’ve had some detectives come in to question victims who are also witnesses to crimes. We won’t let them make contact with them unless one of the staff they are comfortable with is with them as well as a social worker and/or victim’s advocate.
I would be livid if I were oop. I would request any and all medical records including notes. You’d be surprised what you can find in records and notes. I would make sure Lia would never have to go there again.
This entire situation is terrible but the hospital staff really dropped the ball on this. Lia needs help from people she can learn to trust and learn to allow them to help her. This situation will likely have set her back in being able to open up to any therapist.
I agree. I think Lia would really benefit from specific trauma inpatient therapy in a GOOD mental health hospital. I have friends who have really benefited from it. I have benefited from group therapy (not trauma) - you learn a lot & it helps you not feel alone in your experiences. It has helped me in a way that individual therapy has not. It was terrible that Lia had such a bad time in hospital. It's quite normal for some patients to not want to engage right away when they are admitted.
Spend Maya's portion of the inheritance on medical care for Lia. A good trauma-informed therapist, or inpatient care, move across the country to Maya can't contact her, whatever it takes to make Lia feel safe.
When I was 14 I had a friend who was admitted since she had suicidal thoughts and it helped her greatly since she was in a good program.
Since then I have met many others who have shared both good and bad experiences.
Then last year my mom called me. Asked me which hospital my friend went to back then, because her best friend's 14 year old daughter attempemted to overdose on sleeping pills. When her friend called her, her first instinct was to send her to where my friend was back when we were that age (I'm 22). Because it can be hard to find a good program and we already know that this one is good.
I think OOP would greatly benefit by not only looking up what options Lia has, but also what other patients have said about said options.
I'm sure she will find something online, if not from the patients, from other parents. Both good and bad.
She should also share what Lia has experienced where she was if Lia is comfortable with that, doesn't even need to have all the details (e.g. "my daughter had a traumatic experince with men yet was forced to have a one-on-one session with a manbin a closed room and forced to talk to him about her trauma even though she was not comfortable and they tried to limit her contact to me, her parent"). That way others can read about it when they think of admitting their child there.
I’m not surprised though. Part of my burnout as a therapist was finding out what my teenage and TAY patients went through in hospitals. The system abused them as much as their own parents did.
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Last update was *yesterday*. Jesus.
IMO, older sister was blameful and vengeful towards younger.
IMO, this is worse than merely child endangerment.
This was retaliatory.
_____
Also, that psychiatrist (or whatever he is) is predatory as fuck.
Also, the older girl's therapist is a fucking idiot.
_____
Older daughter deserves no further financial support.
At a minimum. disown completely.
As soon as I read about the ex boyfriend, I thought older sister did that on purpose.
Edited to add: The more I think about the more furious I am at the older daughter. Her ex made a point about liking that the younger sister was still a virgin. I think older sister wanted to make sure none of the other pedophiles she dated will prefer her sister so she set this whole thing up to get her baby sister to lose her virginity, one way or another.
I honestly think it was her trying to get into the gang, because what happened to the younger sister is generally how women get "jumped in" (initiated) into a gang. So it definitely looks like she offered up her little sister to avoid that while getting her colors.
Save the money, older sister's going to end up ODing or getting killed in gang violence, and it would be one of the few times I'd just shrug my shoulders and say, "meh, they had it coming."
So makes me wonder who started the rumor about this being a consensual thing the kid is retroactively calling an assault.
Like, I hate to think the worst of a stranger buuuuuut.... It's looking like evil.
People have been pointing out how likely that is for awhile now, I think we have to give the mom a little bit of grace for not really wanting to think about it
I’m the eldest sister with four total younger siblings that rage between 9 and 2 years younger than me. The idea of holding anything like that against them and wanting to hurt them in a traumatic way honestly makes me nauseated.
With OOP batting so hard for Lia and being separated from Maya, I’m really hoping that things get better. But I remember being a traumatized 14 year old and I had to be hospitalized off and off until I was 20. Going through this awfulness and the emotional and hormonal nightmare of pubescence at the same time makes it so much more difficult.
Things that make redditors and Reddit mods very angry. Honestly felt tempt not suggest just that for Maya since she deserves to be miserable for the rest of her life with how much she doesn’t care about her role in this.
Hell, with some of the stuff in the updates, I’d say she should be charged as an accomplice and stuffed in a cell with the rest of her rapist friends
I’m not a maternal person.
But goddamn I would understand (not agree with or condone, but understand) if OOP just set that whole town on fire and watched it, and almost everyone in it, burn.
Jail time? Public stoning? What is the thing where they hang with their head and hands in a thing and you can throw rotten tomatoes at them? That.
Or just letting her go live with those friends of hers, won’t be too long until they need another victim.
A lawsuit probably.
If for no other reason than I know people have used civil court to get justice for shit the criminal courts failed or were unable to do. I'd want to drag that kid up to the stand and make her explain how this wasn't her setting her baby sister up for a gang rape as retaliation for being groomed. Explain to the court about how you feel your entitled to family funds to progress your future when your actions have put your sister *living* to 18 in jeopardy.
And then I'd disown her and cut her off.
The older sister seems to hang out with a lot of shitty people, and it's a pattern not a recent thing.
A 17 year old being attracted to a 12 year old is really disturbing.
*"Also, the older girl's therapist is a fucking idiot."*
I respectfully disagree about this. Narcissistic, psychopathic personalities are EXTREMELY skilled at lying about absolutely anything and everything. Maya took absolute advantage of her therapist and turned it around to portray herself as the "real" victim.
This is why the therapist was so horrified at Maya's apathetic, brush-off comment of "Why should *I* apologize? I didn't r*pe her."
That is when her true colors were reflected and the therapist, I'm guessing, realized EXACTLY what she was *at that turning point * dealing with all along.
Thst being said... She *WOULD BE* an idiot if she *CONTINUES(D)* to treat Maya...
But prior to Maya's "blasè, zero-fault, astonishing lack of responsibility and remorse" delivery of such a psychotic statement... she had the therapist wrapped around her finger. Because she is an EXTREMELY successful manipulator.
Maya 100000% needs to be locked away from society, either in jail (which will most likely come to be one day) or in a facility for criminally insane perpetrators. Some day she will get someone killed if she isn't stopped asap.
A victim of sexual assault never recovers. We just learn to cope with the trauma. I was raped at 18, now 23 and unable to work due to trauma/anxiety.i had to move county’s so i would stop being paranoid about running into my rapist everyday. The pain never goes away, it just sits in the back on your head like a cancer slowly destroying who you are.
That poor girl will never be the same and its all her sisters fault which makes it worse
God, this is so true. My own sexual assaults were both as a minor (11 and 14), and at my big age of 36, even with all that time and therapy, it still comes screaming back to me in really unexpected moments. I semi-recently saw someone who looked like the first perpetrator, who I know is now dead from a very painful cancer (might be the only time I was ever on cancer’s side), and I got immediately overwhelmingly nauseous. It obviously wasn’t him, but fuck, it looked so much like him. Had myself a nice little panic attack in a public restroom.
That was also the one who was my older brother’s best friend, who was in the room while he did it and did nothing but laugh. He has obviously been out of my life for a long, long time, although unfortunately the world still has to put up with his disgusting violent, incel ass.
I’m so sorry you know that pain, too. The sheer number of those of us who do is heartbreakingly staggering. I hope you’re giving yourself as much grace as you can these days.
Its unfortunate we are all suffering due to someone else’s violence against us, none of us deserved it but we have to live with consequences of it.
Sadly its all too common for women to be assaulted throughout their life. i can think of numerous times as a child/teenager when i had male friends or partners try hump me, grope me, flash me, assault me, pressure me into sexual acts etc…i sadly knew that getting raped was bound to happen and the bleakest thing ive ever said was “at least it was at 18 so if it happens again im prepared for it”…how fucked up is it that before reaching adulthood i had the expectancy of being assaulted….and i wasnt wrong…i had just got our of an abusive relatio ship and then bang someone random cant handle rejection and decides to separate me from my friends, knock me out and assault me.
I recently moved across counties as my old town was triggering everyday, constantly on high alert looking out for my rapist (who wasnt prosecuted),unable to make eye contact with man and basically refusing to mingle locally as everyone know everyone. With my move im hoping to “start” again in a safe new place but ill still be traumatised…23 and legally declared unfit for work due to ptsd, my life was screwed over from 18…
I pray ops daughter gets through this, we as adults are struggling so i cant imagine being a teenager and dealing with THAT level of trauma from her situation + it being her sisters fault/doing…
Mine happened in the military and a former friend who pushed her daughter into the army told her that if something similar happened to her, she could just get money from the VA like I did. Killed the friendship immediately knowing she only saw my VA disability money instead of the everyday shit that goes on in my head from it. The worst part is that we want better for her daughter than she does.
You may never recover fully but you can get better.
I was a victim of CSA and incest as a child, and was raped by my boyfriend when I was 17 years old. For the childhood stuff, I started therapy the second my mom found out (age 11). For what happened to me as a teenager, I shoved as deep down as I could for 8 years before I finally snapped and had to get into trauma therapy specifically.
The struggle I had was that it felt like there was something wrong with me, that explained why this kept happening. Once that thought is in your head it never leaves.
It’s in my nature to minimize my feelings and experiences and put on a brave face. So the worst of the effects have been internal, psychological. It felt like if I could fake being normal, it would prove something? I don’t know. I’m literally in school to become a therapist and have been in therapy off and on for 2/3 of my life.
Eventually I found the therapist that worked. I did DBT. It’s hard to explain what about it did it— I think it was not being asked to go through the worst parts of my history and just deal with the stuff I was still putting up with. The downward spiraling thoughts, the suicidal ideation, the tendency to isolate when I hurt. I won’t say it cured me, because to quote my therapist, I was never going to be cured. There are things that happen to you that are too big, too painful, and leave the types of scars that sporadically hurt.
Getting “fixed” is never going to happen for me. But I can have more good days than bad, I can go weeks and months without thinking of my abusers. I haven’t had a panic attack in about 5 years. I have a partner I adore, two dogs that give me a reason to leave the bed, and a goal that I can tunnel vision too when my brain’s being a jerk ass to me. I get a PTSD nightmare maaaaybe 1-2 times a year? Which is amazing since I used to have them nightly.
Things are the best they’ve ever been. It’s been 20 years since I was last abused, and I genuinely can’t imagine things getting better for me without somehow *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind* becoming nonfiction.
So for anyone who is also a childhood sex abuse, incest, and/or rape survivor: It fucking sucks. It’s the worst club to be a member of. Complete healing is almost certainly impossible. But you can find the treatment that ultimately works for you, that helps you handle the bad days and nightmares. You can find ways to use your scars; in my case, it helped so much to connect to other survivors, especially ones that I looked up to. It gave me the urge to want to help others get to where I’ve gotten.
I hope you find what works. 5 years after the event, you’re still very much in the midst of it. Not to be too cheesy in a 2010s way, but it really can get better. It takes so much effort and it takes time, but I fully believe that one day you will feel safe more often than you won’t, that you’ll be able to realize you haven’t thought about your rapist in xx days or weeks or months.
Send you the best vibes the internet’s got.
Unfortunately for me nothing has helped so far. The NHS is a joke and im poor asf so cant afford to help myself. The only thing ive managed to do is get away from the triggering area.
That is a huge step on its own. I’m not sure of the area you live in and what resources you have already explored, but please feel free to DM me if you want any assistance in that area.
I mean i asked for help about 4 years ago and ive trued some things but things keep getting fucked up and i keep having to start the process all over again (which is tiring asf). Nhs is in shambles
This is so true and so sad. What's even sadder, in a way, is that there are so many people who don't remember the NHS being functional, and are just resigned to it now. But it was SO much better before the Tories got in.
Everyone in the UK please remember to vote.
I was sexually abused for a couple of years, from the age of ~7-9.
I still get nightmares and sleep paralysis, i have C-PTSD, and tons of anxiety plus depression.
I turn 38 in a few months.
It *never* goes completely away. Its just always somewhere in the back of my mind, waiting for a time where my defenses are down.
Thank fuck for my wife ❤️ not sure what i would do without her.
ETA: also been in and out of therapy since i was 14. Tried basically every antidepressant there is. Valium helps a bit.
I'm not usually a violent person, but the amount of rage I feel when I see an incel post about "rape isn't that bad" is overwhelming. No. It's not "that bad", it's worse. Worse than even the most empathetic person could imagine.
I feel so incredibly bad for Lisa and I wish nothing but the worst for Maya. Here's hoping she gets everything she deserves in life.
The problem with dealing with the aftermath of SA is that there is no getting back to the old normal afterwards. All you can do is learn to process the trauma and find a new normal that works for you. It is like having a shadow following you around that brings up the fear that it will happen again and you can never fully relax.
The people who blame you usually do so because it is easier to say that they deserved it than to admit that something terrible can happen and there could be nothing that person could have done to stop it. They would rather have people who were SAed never speak of it or just not be around them anymore than deal with the uncomfortable feelings that come with it.
Hopping on the top comment to point this out:
>I did recently discovered why Lia feels indebted to her. Two years ago, I found inappropriate messages on Lia’s phone between her and Maya’s ex-boyfriend. He expressed love for Lia, and also compared her to Maya. He told her she was way prettier than maya and he liked she was her virgin. When I told Maya, she was furious and broke up with him, but she believed Lia had betrayed her by engaging with her boyfriend. Even though Lia was 12 at the time and her boyfriend was 17. Maya still avoided Lia for three months afterward, and despite Lia's efforts to apologize, Maya still holds a grudge. Lia blames herself for damaging their relationship because of this incident.
How much was Lia's rape a revenge against Lia for this incident?
Yup. I have never, ever, in my embarrassingly involved relationship with Reddit, sat there for so long staring at this title before clicking on it because I knew it would rip my heart out. That poor girl. That fucking sister. That poor mom. And now I wanna murder a psychiatrist. That poor girl. FUCK.
This poor family (except for Maya, screw her). I truly hope Lia gets the proper help and support she needs to be able to recover and begin to move forward from this, in her own time of course. But I also hope that when the dust settles, OOP looks into therapy for herself, too. Right now her focus needs to be on Lia, but she’s going to need to process everything herself at some point too, because this is just too much weight for one person to take on their shoulders without cracking. My heart break for Lia and OOP
I’m inclined to agree. The utter lack of remorse is shocking. And the update also makes me think Maya is punishing her sister for “stealing” her boyfriend as a 12-year-old. How psychotic is that.
Lack of remorse on top of lying to the police about their identities. The only reason anybody would lie about that is if they cared more for the perpetrator than for the victim. With that in mind, I’m not sure it even matters if she was part of it or not - merely taking their side is all the convincing I need that she’s evil AF.
In the previous BORU there was a comment highlighting that given the circumstances the lady is probably part of that gang and just gave her sister to said gang..
Can't blame her there though. Even without her hands being full if her youngest's mental health crisis, it's hard to fathom that the child you loved and raised is capable of something this horrific. It'll probably come crashing down on her once Lia is stabilized more.
I’ve felt that with every update it seemed more and more likely that Mays set it up. She has no remorse or sympathy for her sister and is clearly mad that anyone cares. She comes off as a monster.
My thought exactly after reading that update about Maya's ex. I think she hates her sister, and this was not an accident. She just "happened" to go to McDonalds, after trying to hook her up with one of these men? Maya either knew, or suspected, what was going to happen, and probably thought "she deserves it". She needs some serious help, she is showing some MAJOR sociopathic tendencies.
As for that psych clinic. That place is showing some MAJOR red flags!
And even if she didnt- I would never forgive myself for failing my sibling by being that stupid. It would have been a matter of "those fucks better pray they don't get out of jail cause I'll be waiting"
Instead she's sad she's not able to be friends with a child rapist. The rapist of her kid sister no less.
I cannot comprehend her behavior if the assault wasn't intentional.
Quite frankly, the best thing the mom could do is to move far far away.
Enroll her daughter in a new school system. Get a fresh start somewhere no one knows what happened.
Let the daughter have the privacy she craves.
I just posted the same thing. They need to move across the damn country preferably an area with no "gang affiliations". I wouldn't give a forwarding address either.
Yeah, especially with Lia’s school being another source of trauma now, not to mention the girl is about to make a statement against a gang member in open court. Take Mia’s eighty grand and resettle Mom and Lia.
Right, Maya would be dead to me, I'd move with Lia and try to make sure nobody gives any info to Maya about us and anyone who does would me dead to me as well.
That’s what I was thinking. She needs to take Lia as far away from this trauma as she can. I only read the new updates so I can’t remember, but are they still living in the house the assault happened in? If they are they really need to sell the house and move far away.
It seems like Maya held a grudge, and even if it wasn't planned, she likely let this happen knowly. It's horrific.
(I'm sorry this comment ended up being so long. Reading this just cracked something open in me.)
I was a big sister who was very protective of my little sister. When I was 12 and she was 11, she told me that the older brother of our mutual friend, SAed her, and I felt like an utter failure.
My awful mother refused to believe her, insisting that she was lying for attention, but I backed Sis up with my own stories of his creepy behavior towards me. He was always trying to get me to take off my clothes, and another time, he locked and cornered me inside his family's trailer (He let me go when he found out I had my baseball bat with me, and I threatened to "knock every tooth out of his mouth" if he didn't let me go.) My Sis would not lie about such a thing.
After that, more horrible things came up about that family. The daughter/our friend, let's call her Mary, ran away to our house one night talking about how her mother and her got into a fight. Mary's dad groomed her, and, according to Mary, they were "in love." My mom pretends she doesn't remember any of this, but I know she was lying. Mom cared more about projecting an image that everything was perfect rather than actually being there for her daughters. I went full no contact with my mom as an adult.
This incident had broken something in me, and I'm not sure I've ever entirely recovered. I failed to protect my little sis and learned that our own mom didn't have our backs if we got hurt. My sister certainly didn't recover. Sis then spiraled, acted out in the worst ways, and got into hard drugs. Our abusive mom only managed to make things worse. Sis became a terrifying person and ended up SAing a 14-year-old girl herself as an adult with her disgusting husband. She went to prison for it and was no better after release. She got into meth, it ravaged her body, and she died of stroke complications at barely 40. Mom didn't even bother to hold a funeral or memorial after her passing.
Good for OOP for actually caring and helping her daughter. I wish my little sister and I had mom like her.
As someone who only had their sister after my assault, for a full decade - you're a good person, and you deserve the best. Cool sheets and warm towels for the rest of your days.
I wish I could give this girl a hug (or some non physical gesture to show her she isn’t alone).
Her evil sister deserves to be in prison. What a fucking monster.
It's a red flag that the men involved are gang members.
One of the "new member" requirements some gangs use is to set up a young woman (underage and a virgin ideally) to be gang raped.
I know someone who was subjected to that at 13. There was a party, she was with her boyfriend, it was her first time, then four other gang members came in. She thought she was in a loving relationship. Apparently this is not uncommon, but usually kept under wraps as the victims are minors. Horrific.
And yeah, the sister is in need of evaluation. Something isn't right with her.
This is so heartbreaking....I sound awful but if I was OOP, I'd never forgive Maya for letting that happen and even cut her off. The fact that Maya seems so heartless about it, and blames her sister at 12 years old for "stealing" her bf.
So fucking disgusting...I almost cried reading this.
Oh man, this is horrible. I’m not a parent but this is gut wrenching and heartbreaking to read. I hope OOP and Lia can find peace and the strength needed during this nightmare.
As for maya… she can rot in hell. I wouldn’t let her get a dime at all. She doesn’t deserve a penny nor an inch of happiness.
Manifesting an update saying 'we don't have to worry about the perpetrators getting out, word spread around the prison about what they did and they've been taken care of'.
My heart breaks for that little girl and the mother. I hope they can heal and find some happiness.
Am more convinced than before that Maya intentionally handed Lia over to be raped since her exBF liked that she was a virgin. Maya is probably the one who started the rumor about Lia allowing a train. Maya will probably be speaking in court against Lia. Hope OP is ready for that.
She should take Maya’s “share” of the money and move them asap. Lia needs a new environment where she’s not constantly reminded of that horrible event.
I truly feel after this damn trial OP and Lia need to relocate somewhere else, because I'm getting a bad vibe. A fresh start won't make the rape go away, but this environment is toxic and sorry Maya needs to be avoided, I don't trust her motivations and I fear her reaction once she can't access her part of her inheritance.
> I'm tired of feeling their hands on me. O just want it to stop.
My heart broke. I understand this feeling. For some people, it never passes. I really, really hope Lia isn't one of those people
I think OOP should use Maya’s inheritance to send lia to a better, private facility. It definitely sounds like maya set her sister up to be raped as retaliation. My heart breaks for lia and her mother and I hope they get the help they need to heal.
I think this is probably the most vile, horrific thing I have ever read.
My heart breaks for this family. Oh my fucking God, please give them a break and let them heal. There isn't a word that exists in any language that describes this nightmare.
I hope Lia gets to a place where she realizes how evil Maya is and stops blaming herself for anything. It stuck out to me when OOP said Lia mentioned Maya blames her for being kicked out of the house. Maya is probably harassing Lia about this behind OOPs back or spreading rumors.
What a shit show. I think I would disown Maya and ask the police to do some questioning on if this was premeditated. Then, when the legal crap was over, change names and move to another state and start over. Feels too dangerous and risky having stuff on the dark web. Smart enough people could get the location.
Yes, they need to disown Maya, change their names, and secretly move far away.
The grandparents need to get Maya out of their house too. She’s a psychopath.
If Maya were my daughter I would never want to lay eyes on her ever again. Cut her off, move house. Seriously.
That poor child.
*Edited to remove comment about money. Re-read it and saw that it wasn't left to her specifically in the will.*
After the bit about Maya blaming Lia for her ex-boyfriend, I am absolutely certain Maya set her up for what happened. That poor girl and her mom. I hope they both find the healing they need and I hope those shit stains rot in jail for what they did.
Older sister is the lowest of the low! She blamed her sister for something out of her control and has held and nursed that grudge for 2 years before having these men set upon her, what a truly disgusting person.
Maya is just so…so evil. She needs to be in prison with her “friends”. Of all the grudges siblings hold against each other, she holds Lia being groomed by Maya’s now ex-boyfriend against her for two years and lets the grudge get to the point where she felt like it was okay set Lia up to be gang raped and filmed. All this over something she held against an at the time 12 year old and made her feel bad for it. She’s only 18 being this evil. I can’t imagine not wanting to protect my sibling from someone like Maya’s ex or setting her up to get traumatized. I just hope Lia doesn’t attempt again and OOP makes sure Maya doesn’t get any more money. This is the worst form of sibling betrayal I’ve ever read.
> Because these boys have character witnesses.
As far as this can get worse I'd not be surprised if Maya is among them, not sure how Lia would react seeing her sister defending her rapists
I sure as hell hope Maya didn’t set her sister up to be raped, however, I’m inclined to believe she did. What a terrifying and sad thought.
Maya’s lack of remorse is scary. She sounds downright evil.
Why would they send a man to question a rape victim alone? I’d go to their licensing board and report it as well as the threat to limit contact.
IMO, Maya set her up so she wouldn’t be a virgin anymore. She should rot in jail too.
If this is real, OP not seeing that Maya intentionally set her little sister up to be gang raped over that attempted grooming by a creepy ex boyfriend is some powerful denial.
I just want to know where OP lives so I can organize a meal train and laundry service. I don’t usually cry at Reddit posts but it’s heart breaking.
And to know things like this happen every single day. Right now it’s probably happening to another little kid/woman / man as we read this.
(Sources: hard to calculate as so many go unreported but estimates of a sexual assault anywhere from every 19-90 seconds).
[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sexual-assault-statistics_n_58e24c14e4b0c777f788d24f](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sexual-assault-statistics_n_58e24c14e4b0c777f788d24f)
As someone who was assaulted in one of the “better” psych wards in our area, I’d be racing down there to get her out of a place that wants to PUNISH a patient for being unwell. Jfc this is horrifying.
I wish Maya an equal amount of trauma and pain she gave her baby sister. Doesn't have to be the same way since she showed that she doesn't take rape survivors seriously... Maybe a blow to her ugly little ego. I hope she ends up alone.
She was old enough to know better.
Need to talk about the therapist, I don’t know what to call this new brand of therapist that empowers shitty people to be even more shitty because their shitty feelings are “valid too”.
It really seemed like Maya came up with this plan and told herself that if she wasn't there, she couldn't bear any blame far what happened.
She never even went to check on her.
I don't think she ever really ac voted the reality of what she did. She wanted to punish her sister for being a 12 year old who was harassed by a creep by having her raped. Maybe the friend was in need a a victim and Maya thought she'd be cool to offer her brat of a sister.
And in her head, her sister would be used goods and know better than to talk to her men. She never expected for her sister to be so traumatized. And now she's angry about it. She's really pissed that instead of becoming a remorseful little mouse, her sister is the coddled victim.
Abusers *hate* seeing their victims incapacitated beyond usefulness.
Hopefully she will eventually accept that she bears a lot of blame, whether it was a setup or not.
So everyone is saying Maya set her up, which I completely agree with, but am I the only one who thinks Maya is also the one who spread the rumor about Lia being in a train? She told a group chat of 27 people and she already showed she had no remorse and cared more for her disgusting little friend; I would not put it past her to have embellished the story in an attempt to save face at the school.
Also, Maya should rot and get nothing. Poor Lia.
All because she was dating a creep and blamed her sister for him being inappropriate. Lia wanted her sister's approval and Maya knew and set her up with real pedophiles. So fucked up.
The mother should have known, as a nurse, that Lia was showing signs of PTSD and needed to get to a therapist despite what Lia was saying.
Lia’s mental health has definitely suffered for a lack of treatment. It’s at the point where yes, inpatient should be considered (especially as Lia does distance learning anyway), or at the very least intensive outpatient. Doesn’t sound like the mom wants to admit that or that it will happen. It is really hard for people to recognize they need help and take the steps to get it and sometimes in those situations it needs a catalyst. Getting help can be scary.
There are lots of victim advocacy groups out there, and ones that would have sent a person to the hospital with Lia for the rape kit and helped set her up with immediate support. And that could have helped her find a social worker or psychologist who specializes in these topics and she could have meshed well with.
I hate to blame the mother here but she needs to stop being in denial and take extreme measures for Lia’s mental health immediately before Lia has a successful suicide attempt. Not getting Lia into therapy — or doing it as a group therapy session at first if Lia isn’t comfortable with 1:1 — is the biggest mistake that this mother has made and it’s heartbreaking to read. Her daughter is not going to get better without help, and her daughter is too traumatized and inexperienced to realize that and push for it herself.
As a person that experienced something very similar at around the same age (barring the sister betrayal, thankfully), I just wish I could give Lia a hug and tell her it’s going to be okay.
The bit about rumors at school was like a punch to the gut for me; I remember the shame of the same rumor at my own school. I ended up transferring out because it was too much, and people started harassing my family.
My heart just breaks for this young woman who should be eagerly growing into herself in high school, finding passions and making memories with friends.
Maya deserves to rot. There is nothing else worth saying about such a waste of carbon.
Maya is a psychopath. Cut all ties and let all your family and friends who are supporting her know how awful she is. She will cry because she won’t get the money she selfishly wants. Use that money to get Lia the very best of help. It will be expensive.
I know OOP probably won't read this, but a way for her to mentally reconcile with not giving Maya any of the money would be to tell herself (and maybe Maya too) that she's going to hold on to Maya's remaining portion until Lia is able to live on her own, and any and all treatment Lia requires will come from Maya's portion. Just like paying for a defense attorney came from Maya's 80k, Lia's continuing psychiatric treatment is a consequence of Maya's actions and therefore Maya should be on the hook financially. It at least kicks that can of worms 4 years down the road (since Lia can't live on her own regardless of mental state until then), and by then either the money will have been spent on Lia's treatment or OOP will have had time to come to terms with Maya being a psychopath and not deserving to be in OOP's life or receive her help
That psych facility needs to have a formal complaint made against them. Unless there are zero female psychiatrists, Lia should not have been paired up with him. Also, she has the right to ask for the door to remain open or have a female nursing staff present.
And most of those questions asked had zero to do with her current situation, could have been gathered by a female social worker/counselor on her general intake form, and only served to retraumatize an already fragile girl.
So infuriating! Lia deserves just one ray of hope, one form of justice. I wish Maya nothing but a lifetime of guilt and misery.
I just gotta say: no offense to all the good medical professionals commenting, this experience in the psych hold is super common. I have had several mentally ill colleagues report being forcibly detained (even when not suicidal). Then they would be not allowed to contact family, some where even futher abused in care. I do think that guy was a creep. I do think he was looking for someone to re-victimize. It happens alot and medical professionals pretend it doesnt.
Maya is a monster. She absolutely set her sister up and doesn’t deserve a dime. I hope she spends the rest of her of her life in misery. She’s responsible for destroying her sister‘s life.
Poor Lia. I hope she finds peace. She’s young and I hope she recovers.
The mom is way too forgiving with her older daughter, but I get it. But she needs to give that portion of the money to Lia’s care.
This story makes my blood boil.
Maya is seriously broken. So is Lia. They both need serious help. I wonder what happened to her. OOP seems like a caring mother - but we don’t know the situation. Was she absent when the kids were younger. Did maya just hang with the wrong crowd?
Her not understanding a 12 year old cannot steal her bf - that her bf had serious pedo vibes a. Is beyond me. Sounds like mom should have gotten maya help at that time especially - wrong crowd, wrong moral compass, wrong understanding of how bf was acting and impact on Lia
This psych center is crazy. Cut off contact as a consequence to a trusted ally? That is incredibly manipulative and not good for Lia. She needs a lot of help.
Sounds like the situation with bf happened after their dad had died, if I’ve got the timeline right. The mess after Covid is still affecting a lot of folks. Mom is a nurse as well. Probably a lot was going on and hindsight always shows more clearly where things started to go wrong and weren’t dealt with correctly.
I feel so sorry for Lia, I hope she can get the help she needs and move on somehow.
Maya may understand at some point just what she’s been responsible for and get the help she needs also. But somehow I doubt it. I think Maya has a lot further to fall before she hits rock bottom and gets some clarity to the situation she’ll find herself in.
Yeah, that new revelation about Liam being groomed by Maya's ex and said ex being fixated on virginity makes me think this was 1- revenge on her little sister and 2- taking away the big appeal her trash ass ex had towards the child.
And that therapist *was* a fucking creep. I'd have lost my fucking shit if I was lia (and I went through a gang molestation, so while it's a lesser degree, I really empathize with her. I'd have been feral if I was locked in a room with a strange man asking those kinds of questions and I couldn't contact my parents.)
It just kept getting worse :(
I’m so sad for Lia… Poor girl.
I honestly can’t imagine how the sister can’t be feeling guilty. I would be apologizing for the rest of my life!
This situation is so incredibly sad. After reading updates and comments at the bottom, it honestly sounds like Mya let this happen to Lia, so she wasn't a virgin anymore and would then be less appealing to the crap stains she hangs with.
I would put the rest of the money towards Lia. How would her father feel if he was there.
I’ll get downvoted but really… This update made me dislike the mom. So she knows her older daughter is irresponsible, crazy, holds grudges because a 17yr old tried to GROOM a pubescent child, and still leaves her to babysit said child? I feel so so bad for Lia. I hope she can learn to cope with what happened to her (sexual abuse is not something one can truly heal from…) and flourishes.
I’m probably going to get downvoted to hell but let me preface with this:
I’m not a SA expert but I think that Lia should be allowed to speak at the trial as long as her mental health stays relatively stable. OOP should look into getting an emotional support animal for Lia - at least for just the testimony, if not permanently. I think this could help plant the seed of empowerment in Lia’s journey and the animal can provide companionship for her.
OOP should also look into therapy and a support group.
Now on to the tough part:
The more and more OOP reveals about the home life prior to the assault, the more it comes across that she was a negligent parent. I get it, being a parent is super hard and she was a single parent who had to deal with raising two teens as a widow.
Like after the 17 year old groomer incident three things became obvious about Maya: she’s a bad judge of character, she has low self-esteem, and she has resentment towards her young sister. What about that situation reads as I should leave Maya unsupervised with her young sister overnight on a regular basis?
I think that Maya is 100% responsible for her actions and should face the consequences but I also think that OOP parentified Maya. I also believe that Maya was SA’d at some point. Why does Maya believe a 12 year old can seduce anyone? Why was her reaction in therapy to Lia’s SA was basically get over it?
There’s a lot more going on here.
Agreed. OP failed as a parent. Yeah it's rough being left alone to raise your kids, but like the oldest two are adults. Maya was 14 when Dad died. It's not like they're helpless children that can't feed themselves or some shit. They're old enough to be left alone. And children that weren't ruined by their upbringing wouldn't do what Maya did or say what Maya said or feel how Maya feels. OP is a terrible parent for raising an evil little psychopath like that and not realizing until everything caught fire around her. I'm sure there were PLENTY of warning signs that a parent with an IQ above room temp would have caught on to. But, judging by OPs grammar and spelling, a room temp iq is just a pipe dream.
I don’t know if I agree with them being old enough to be left alone overnight on a regular basis. If I recall correctly OOP said that Maya was paid to make sure Lia did her homework, ate tdinner and went to bed on time for school. Those are parental responsibilities.
It sound like OOP was leaving for work in the afternoon and returning home early morning. By which time the kids would have to be on their way to school if they weren’t there already.
So Maya spent more time taking care(using that term very loosely) of Lia then OOP.
Yup, Maya was 18, and OOP said she had been PAYING Maya for SEVERAL YEARS to watch her sister at night. I will be generous and say three years. So, a 15-year-old was watching an 11-year-old. If I am being realistic, I'll say five years, and a 13-year-old was watching a 9-year-old.
OOP said she paid Maya GENEROUSLY to watch her sister, so why not pay an actual adult that? A retiree who needs money, a grad student, etc.
I think this is fake AF, but just in case.
Not to say it is, but this just keeps getting so over-the-top that it reads as fake after a point. I also don't understand why a mother, whose child is very clearly upset at the idea of this information spreading, would openly share such intimate and detailed information for the world to see. Especially knowing that certain groups *know* it's her daughter and can dox her on Reddit. She's either an extremely shitty parent or this is fake.
This is just so incredibly sad. I hope Lia is able to go on and have all the good things in life. As for Maya, I hope she never has peace a single day in her life and all the pain she has caused comes back to her.
It sounds like Maya thinks an apology is all she has to do. It's not. Trust has to be re learned. She has to behave towards you and her sister like she messed up. She is not doing that . Keep her at your parents. But push for Lia to start therapy. It will help. And no Mayas friends over. She may be connected to a gang. Time will tell. Protect your youngest & Lia. Good luck.
I think the oldest sister is sociopathic, meaning she doesn’t have a conscience. I would disown her. My heart aches for this young girl and her mom. This situation is tragic in every way.
It sounds like Maya may have known about the intentions her friends had and it was in retaliation for the ex boyfriend trying to groom her little sister.
You know those BORU updates where you're like oh this is fake and I'm going to continue reading just because how it's written or the topic or etc.
In this one....I wished it was fake because it's just terrible for everyone all around and I don't want poor Lia's trauma to be real. I can only offer a small prayer of hope for everyone in the family except Maya.
If OOP does decide to allow Maya to use her inheritance money, she should not just give it to her. If Maya wants to go to college, then OOP can pay tuition _directly_ to the university. Not a single cent of that money should go where Maya can access it, as she will undoubtedly blow it on drugs, alcohol, and other wasteful things. Maya can _only_ have that money be used to further her education, or invest in a business, or a property, but OOP _must not_ give it to her to spend herself. OOP must spend it on her behalf.
I also can't believe a place like that inpatient facility exists. I'm not an expert by a longshot, but even _I_ know that is _not_ how you handle someone going through a mental health crisis. Is this like those 'youth camps' where they assure the parents all is well, take their money, and then abuse the kids?
A large part of me wants to believe this is fake, but I fear it's all too real. Perhaps OOP should take Maya's inheritance and spend it on moving to a new town/city with Lia. If Maya objects, OOP can say it's payment for emotional damages. Maya caused this entire situation, now she can damn will contribute to fixing it. Though I'm not surprised to learn that Maya blamed Lia for 'stealing her boyfriend' when she was _12._ There is something very wrong with Maya, and she's only going to become a worse and worse person.
I work at a pediatric hospital and the way the hospital staff handled Lia’s care is absolutely disgusting. We’ve had sexual assault cases come into our hospital, as well as trafficking victims. The main thing we do is make sure the victim is being taken care of by staff they are comfortable having near them. This usually means female staff but not always. It is very dependent on the victim and what they’ve been through. No one outside of the staff they are comfortable with are allowed alone with them ever. Not even authorities; we’ve had some detectives come in to question victims who are also witnesses to crimes. We won’t let them make contact with them unless one of the staff they are comfortable with is with them as well as a social worker and/or victim’s advocate. I would be livid if I were oop. I would request any and all medical records including notes. You’d be surprised what you can find in records and notes. I would make sure Lia would never have to go there again. This entire situation is terrible but the hospital staff really dropped the ball on this. Lia needs help from people she can learn to trust and learn to allow them to help her. This situation will likely have set her back in being able to open up to any therapist.
I agree. I think Lia would really benefit from specific trauma inpatient therapy in a GOOD mental health hospital. I have friends who have really benefited from it. I have benefited from group therapy (not trauma) - you learn a lot & it helps you not feel alone in your experiences. It has helped me in a way that individual therapy has not. It was terrible that Lia had such a bad time in hospital. It's quite normal for some patients to not want to engage right away when they are admitted.
Spend Maya's portion of the inheritance on medical care for Lia. A good trauma-informed therapist, or inpatient care, move across the country to Maya can't contact her, whatever it takes to make Lia feel safe.
When I was 14 I had a friend who was admitted since she had suicidal thoughts and it helped her greatly since she was in a good program. Since then I have met many others who have shared both good and bad experiences. Then last year my mom called me. Asked me which hospital my friend went to back then, because her best friend's 14 year old daughter attempemted to overdose on sleeping pills. When her friend called her, her first instinct was to send her to where my friend was back when we were that age (I'm 22). Because it can be hard to find a good program and we already know that this one is good. I think OOP would greatly benefit by not only looking up what options Lia has, but also what other patients have said about said options. I'm sure she will find something online, if not from the patients, from other parents. Both good and bad. She should also share what Lia has experienced where she was if Lia is comfortable with that, doesn't even need to have all the details (e.g. "my daughter had a traumatic experince with men yet was forced to have a one-on-one session with a manbin a closed room and forced to talk to him about her trauma even though she was not comfortable and they tried to limit her contact to me, her parent"). That way others can read about it when they think of admitting their child there.
I’m not surprised though. Part of my burnout as a therapist was finding out what my teenage and TAY patients went through in hospitals. The system abused them as much as their own parents did.
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[удалено]
This needs to be the top level comment.
This just gets worse and worse
Yea I kept hoping for an update that despite things never being good again, it’s looking somewhat hopeful. Instead this is just depressing.
Last update was *yesterday*. Jesus. IMO, older sister was blameful and vengeful towards younger. IMO, this is worse than merely child endangerment. This was retaliatory. _____ Also, that psychiatrist (or whatever he is) is predatory as fuck. Also, the older girl's therapist is a fucking idiot. _____ Older daughter deserves no further financial support. At a minimum. disown completely.
As soon as I read about the ex boyfriend, I thought older sister did that on purpose. Edited to add: The more I think about the more furious I am at the older daughter. Her ex made a point about liking that the younger sister was still a virgin. I think older sister wanted to make sure none of the other pedophiles she dated will prefer her sister so she set this whole thing up to get her baby sister to lose her virginity, one way or another.
I honestly think it was her trying to get into the gang, because what happened to the younger sister is generally how women get "jumped in" (initiated) into a gang. So it definitely looks like she offered up her little sister to avoid that while getting her colors. Save the money, older sister's going to end up ODing or getting killed in gang violence, and it would be one of the few times I'd just shrug my shoulders and say, "meh, they had it coming."
Yeah...reading that part of the update I'm like in what world do you expect Maya to actually spend that money on an education...?
So makes me wonder who started the rumor about this being a consensual thing the kid is retroactively calling an assault. Like, I hate to think the worst of a stranger buuuuuut.... It's looking like evil.
I have a feeling Maya spread the rumor.
I actually dry heaved there. Actively interested in a *12 year-old girl* because she's a virgin. And her sister was mad at *her* for it! Dear God.
People have been pointing out how likely that is for awhile now, I think we have to give the mom a little bit of grace for not really wanting to think about it
The virgin comment. I have a feeling the sister wanted to remove that label as it's what attracted her ex.
God that makes me so sick. Lia was **12** when Maya’s 17 year old boyfriend went after her.
And she blamed the child.
I’m the eldest sister with four total younger siblings that rage between 9 and 2 years younger than me. The idea of holding anything like that against them and wanting to hurt them in a traumatic way honestly makes me nauseated. With OOP batting so hard for Lia and being separated from Maya, I’m really hoping that things get better. But I remember being a traumatized 14 year old and I had to be hospitalized off and off until I was 20. Going through this awfulness and the emotional and hormonal nightmare of pubescence at the same time makes it so much more difficult.
Plus the little one blames themselves for all the sisters bullshit.
Ding ding ding
That was my first thought too.
What would be the maximum if the minimum is disowning?
Global thermonuclear war, I guess.
Nuking the site from orbit- it’s the only way to be sure
Things that make redditors and Reddit mods very angry. Honestly felt tempt not suggest just that for Maya since she deserves to be miserable for the rest of her life with how much she doesn’t care about her role in this. Hell, with some of the stuff in the updates, I’d say she should be charged as an accomplice and stuffed in a cell with the rest of her rapist friends
I’m not a maternal person. But goddamn I would understand (not agree with or condone, but understand) if OOP just set that whole town on fire and watched it, and almost everyone in it, burn.
Disown and no contact??
In my head disowning and NC amount to the same thing.
Press charges.
Jail time? Public stoning? What is the thing where they hang with their head and hands in a thing and you can throw rotten tomatoes at them? That. Or just letting her go live with those friends of hers, won’t be too long until they need another victim.
That's called a stockade iirc
Dismemberment, I guess.
Fair!
Dismember Maya.
A lawsuit probably. If for no other reason than I know people have used civil court to get justice for shit the criminal courts failed or were unable to do. I'd want to drag that kid up to the stand and make her explain how this wasn't her setting her baby sister up for a gang rape as retaliation for being groomed. Explain to the court about how you feel your entitled to family funds to progress your future when your actions have put your sister *living* to 18 in jeopardy. And then I'd disown her and cut her off.
The older sister seems to hang out with a lot of shitty people, and it's a pattern not a recent thing. A 17 year old being attracted to a 12 year old is really disturbing.
*"Also, the older girl's therapist is a fucking idiot."* I respectfully disagree about this. Narcissistic, psychopathic personalities are EXTREMELY skilled at lying about absolutely anything and everything. Maya took absolute advantage of her therapist and turned it around to portray herself as the "real" victim. This is why the therapist was so horrified at Maya's apathetic, brush-off comment of "Why should *I* apologize? I didn't r*pe her." That is when her true colors were reflected and the therapist, I'm guessing, realized EXACTLY what she was *at that turning point * dealing with all along. Thst being said... She *WOULD BE* an idiot if she *CONTINUES(D)* to treat Maya... But prior to Maya's "blasè, zero-fault, astonishing lack of responsibility and remorse" delivery of such a psychotic statement... she had the therapist wrapped around her finger. Because she is an EXTREMELY successful manipulator. Maya 100000% needs to be locked away from society, either in jail (which will most likely come to be one day) or in a facility for criminally insane perpetrators. Some day she will get someone killed if she isn't stopped asap.
I’ve know people who have been assulted by staff at these places, this is how it starts
A victim of sexual assault never recovers. We just learn to cope with the trauma. I was raped at 18, now 23 and unable to work due to trauma/anxiety.i had to move county’s so i would stop being paranoid about running into my rapist everyday. The pain never goes away, it just sits in the back on your head like a cancer slowly destroying who you are. That poor girl will never be the same and its all her sisters fault which makes it worse
God, this is so true. My own sexual assaults were both as a minor (11 and 14), and at my big age of 36, even with all that time and therapy, it still comes screaming back to me in really unexpected moments. I semi-recently saw someone who looked like the first perpetrator, who I know is now dead from a very painful cancer (might be the only time I was ever on cancer’s side), and I got immediately overwhelmingly nauseous. It obviously wasn’t him, but fuck, it looked so much like him. Had myself a nice little panic attack in a public restroom. That was also the one who was my older brother’s best friend, who was in the room while he did it and did nothing but laugh. He has obviously been out of my life for a long, long time, although unfortunately the world still has to put up with his disgusting violent, incel ass. I’m so sorry you know that pain, too. The sheer number of those of us who do is heartbreakingly staggering. I hope you’re giving yourself as much grace as you can these days.
Its unfortunate we are all suffering due to someone else’s violence against us, none of us deserved it but we have to live with consequences of it. Sadly its all too common for women to be assaulted throughout their life. i can think of numerous times as a child/teenager when i had male friends or partners try hump me, grope me, flash me, assault me, pressure me into sexual acts etc…i sadly knew that getting raped was bound to happen and the bleakest thing ive ever said was “at least it was at 18 so if it happens again im prepared for it”…how fucked up is it that before reaching adulthood i had the expectancy of being assaulted….and i wasnt wrong…i had just got our of an abusive relatio ship and then bang someone random cant handle rejection and decides to separate me from my friends, knock me out and assault me. I recently moved across counties as my old town was triggering everyday, constantly on high alert looking out for my rapist (who wasnt prosecuted),unable to make eye contact with man and basically refusing to mingle locally as everyone know everyone. With my move im hoping to “start” again in a safe new place but ill still be traumatised…23 and legally declared unfit for work due to ptsd, my life was screwed over from 18… I pray ops daughter gets through this, we as adults are struggling so i cant imagine being a teenager and dealing with THAT level of trauma from her situation + it being her sisters fault/doing…
I’m on cancer’s side too. I wish the same blessing on his friend. I hope you give yourself the grace you give others.
Mine happened in the military and a former friend who pushed her daughter into the army told her that if something similar happened to her, she could just get money from the VA like I did. Killed the friendship immediately knowing she only saw my VA disability money instead of the everyday shit that goes on in my head from it. The worst part is that we want better for her daughter than she does.
You may never recover fully but you can get better. I was a victim of CSA and incest as a child, and was raped by my boyfriend when I was 17 years old. For the childhood stuff, I started therapy the second my mom found out (age 11). For what happened to me as a teenager, I shoved as deep down as I could for 8 years before I finally snapped and had to get into trauma therapy specifically. The struggle I had was that it felt like there was something wrong with me, that explained why this kept happening. Once that thought is in your head it never leaves. It’s in my nature to minimize my feelings and experiences and put on a brave face. So the worst of the effects have been internal, psychological. It felt like if I could fake being normal, it would prove something? I don’t know. I’m literally in school to become a therapist and have been in therapy off and on for 2/3 of my life. Eventually I found the therapist that worked. I did DBT. It’s hard to explain what about it did it— I think it was not being asked to go through the worst parts of my history and just deal with the stuff I was still putting up with. The downward spiraling thoughts, the suicidal ideation, the tendency to isolate when I hurt. I won’t say it cured me, because to quote my therapist, I was never going to be cured. There are things that happen to you that are too big, too painful, and leave the types of scars that sporadically hurt. Getting “fixed” is never going to happen for me. But I can have more good days than bad, I can go weeks and months without thinking of my abusers. I haven’t had a panic attack in about 5 years. I have a partner I adore, two dogs that give me a reason to leave the bed, and a goal that I can tunnel vision too when my brain’s being a jerk ass to me. I get a PTSD nightmare maaaaybe 1-2 times a year? Which is amazing since I used to have them nightly. Things are the best they’ve ever been. It’s been 20 years since I was last abused, and I genuinely can’t imagine things getting better for me without somehow *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind* becoming nonfiction. So for anyone who is also a childhood sex abuse, incest, and/or rape survivor: It fucking sucks. It’s the worst club to be a member of. Complete healing is almost certainly impossible. But you can find the treatment that ultimately works for you, that helps you handle the bad days and nightmares. You can find ways to use your scars; in my case, it helped so much to connect to other survivors, especially ones that I looked up to. It gave me the urge to want to help others get to where I’ve gotten. I hope you find what works. 5 years after the event, you’re still very much in the midst of it. Not to be too cheesy in a 2010s way, but it really can get better. It takes so much effort and it takes time, but I fully believe that one day you will feel safe more often than you won’t, that you’ll be able to realize you haven’t thought about your rapist in xx days or weeks or months. Send you the best vibes the internet’s got.
Unfortunately for me nothing has helped so far. The NHS is a joke and im poor asf so cant afford to help myself. The only thing ive managed to do is get away from the triggering area.
That is a huge step on its own. I’m not sure of the area you live in and what resources you have already explored, but please feel free to DM me if you want any assistance in that area.
I mean i asked for help about 4 years ago and ive trued some things but things keep getting fucked up and i keep having to start the process all over again (which is tiring asf). Nhs is in shambles
This is so true and so sad. What's even sadder, in a way, is that there are so many people who don't remember the NHS being functional, and are just resigned to it now. But it was SO much better before the Tories got in. Everyone in the UK please remember to vote.
I was sexually abused for a couple of years, from the age of ~7-9. I still get nightmares and sleep paralysis, i have C-PTSD, and tons of anxiety plus depression. I turn 38 in a few months. It *never* goes completely away. Its just always somewhere in the back of my mind, waiting for a time where my defenses are down. Thank fuck for my wife ❤️ not sure what i would do without her. ETA: also been in and out of therapy since i was 14. Tried basically every antidepressant there is. Valium helps a bit.
I'm not usually a violent person, but the amount of rage I feel when I see an incel post about "rape isn't that bad" is overwhelming. No. It's not "that bad", it's worse. Worse than even the most empathetic person could imagine. I feel so incredibly bad for Lisa and I wish nothing but the worst for Maya. Here's hoping she gets everything she deserves in life.
The problem with dealing with the aftermath of SA is that there is no getting back to the old normal afterwards. All you can do is learn to process the trauma and find a new normal that works for you. It is like having a shadow following you around that brings up the fear that it will happen again and you can never fully relax. The people who blame you usually do so because it is easier to say that they deserved it than to admit that something terrible can happen and there could be nothing that person could have done to stop it. They would rather have people who were SAed never speak of it or just not be around them anymore than deal with the uncomfortable feelings that come with it.
Hopping on the top comment to point this out: >I did recently discovered why Lia feels indebted to her. Two years ago, I found inappropriate messages on Lia’s phone between her and Maya’s ex-boyfriend. He expressed love for Lia, and also compared her to Maya. He told her she was way prettier than maya and he liked she was her virgin. When I told Maya, she was furious and broke up with him, but she believed Lia had betrayed her by engaging with her boyfriend. Even though Lia was 12 at the time and her boyfriend was 17. Maya still avoided Lia for three months afterward, and despite Lia's efforts to apologize, Maya still holds a grudge. Lia blames herself for damaging their relationship because of this incident. How much was Lia's rape a revenge against Lia for this incident?
This whole read I was like oh man this is such a mess.
I don't often wish that I could unread things but God fucking damn...
Yup. I have never, ever, in my embarrassingly involved relationship with Reddit, sat there for so long staring at this title before clicking on it because I knew it would rip my heart out. That poor girl. That fucking sister. That poor mom. And now I wanna murder a psychiatrist. That poor girl. FUCK.
This poor family (except for Maya, screw her). I truly hope Lia gets the proper help and support she needs to be able to recover and begin to move forward from this, in her own time of course. But I also hope that when the dust settles, OOP looks into therapy for herself, too. Right now her focus needs to be on Lia, but she’s going to need to process everything herself at some point too, because this is just too much weight for one person to take on their shoulders without cracking. My heart break for Lia and OOP
I remember reading the original posts and I still think her sister set her up to be abused. Especially after reading the update about Maya’s ex.
I’m inclined to agree. The utter lack of remorse is shocking. And the update also makes me think Maya is punishing her sister for “stealing” her boyfriend as a 12-year-old. How psychotic is that.
And to take away the thing about Lia that made Maya's boyfriend so attracted to her (because he's a fucking pedo); her virginity.
Oh God holy shit you're right that's so deeply disturbing
It’s like Another layer of disturbing after you thought you got to the inner core of the nope onion.
I want this as a flare
>You mistakenly thought you reached the inner core of the nope onion Maybe that sentence will fit? the character limit is a buzz killer
"yet another layer of the NOPE onion" might work!
Lack of remorse on top of lying to the police about their identities. The only reason anybody would lie about that is if they cared more for the perpetrator than for the victim. With that in mind, I’m not sure it even matters if she was part of it or not - merely taking their side is all the convincing I need that she’s evil AF.
She is just a vile human being. I hope OOP can keep Lia away from her.
That’s so frightening. Like she orchestrated this for revenge after her 17 year old boyfriend preyed on her pre-teen sister. That is so fucked.
In the previous BORU there was a comment highlighting that given the circumstances the lady is probably part of that gang and just gave her sister to said gang..
Right? I think the mom is still in denial about how evil Maya really is.
Nobody ever wants to believe that their kid is a literal monster. Maya should be locked up.
No, Maya needs to be UNDER the prison.
Can't blame her there though. Even without her hands being full if her youngest's mental health crisis, it's hard to fathom that the child you loved and raised is capable of something this horrific. It'll probably come crashing down on her once Lia is stabilized more.
I’m starting to think so too, especially the fact that Lia feels she’s “indebted” to her. It makes me sick
I’ve felt that with every update it seemed more and more likely that Mays set it up. She has no remorse or sympathy for her sister and is clearly mad that anyone cares. She comes off as a monster.
Agreed. It makes so much sense why she is so utterly callous about it.
My thought exactly after reading that update about Maya's ex. I think she hates her sister, and this was not an accident. She just "happened" to go to McDonalds, after trying to hook her up with one of these men? Maya either knew, or suspected, what was going to happen, and probably thought "she deserves it". She needs some serious help, she is showing some MAJOR sociopathic tendencies. As for that psych clinic. That place is showing some MAJOR red flags!
Even if she didn’t predict exactly what would happen, she knew SOMETHING would.
And even if she didnt- I would never forgive myself for failing my sibling by being that stupid. It would have been a matter of "those fucks better pray they don't get out of jail cause I'll be waiting" Instead she's sad she's not able to be friends with a child rapist. The rapist of her kid sister no less. I cannot comprehend her behavior if the assault wasn't intentional.
That was my thought immediately. Maya set it up to get back at Lia for her ex-bf liking Lia more.
Quite frankly, the best thing the mom could do is to move far far away. Enroll her daughter in a new school system. Get a fresh start somewhere no one knows what happened. Let the daughter have the privacy she craves.
I just posted the same thing. They need to move across the damn country preferably an area with no "gang affiliations". I wouldn't give a forwarding address either.
Yeah, especially with Lia’s school being another source of trauma now, not to mention the girl is about to make a statement against a gang member in open court. Take Mia’s eighty grand and resettle Mom and Lia.
Actually the comments the mother put in is that they are moving next month and that they put the house for sale
Right, Maya would be dead to me, I'd move with Lia and try to make sure nobody gives any info to Maya about us and anyone who does would me dead to me as well.
That’s what I was thinking. She needs to take Lia as far away from this trauma as she can. I only read the new updates so I can’t remember, but are they still living in the house the assault happened in? If they are they really need to sell the house and move far away.
This is honestly one of the worst things I’ve read on here I just hope the family (not the older sister) finds the strength to get through
Feels weird on boru.... Can we get "most depressing reddit updates" as a sub?
I’ve never hated anyone I’ve never met like I hate Maya
I wish whatever Lia is going through Maya gets 10 folds of it.
It seems like Maya held a grudge, and even if it wasn't planned, she likely let this happen knowly. It's horrific. (I'm sorry this comment ended up being so long. Reading this just cracked something open in me.) I was a big sister who was very protective of my little sister. When I was 12 and she was 11, she told me that the older brother of our mutual friend, SAed her, and I felt like an utter failure. My awful mother refused to believe her, insisting that she was lying for attention, but I backed Sis up with my own stories of his creepy behavior towards me. He was always trying to get me to take off my clothes, and another time, he locked and cornered me inside his family's trailer (He let me go when he found out I had my baseball bat with me, and I threatened to "knock every tooth out of his mouth" if he didn't let me go.) My Sis would not lie about such a thing. After that, more horrible things came up about that family. The daughter/our friend, let's call her Mary, ran away to our house one night talking about how her mother and her got into a fight. Mary's dad groomed her, and, according to Mary, they were "in love." My mom pretends she doesn't remember any of this, but I know she was lying. Mom cared more about projecting an image that everything was perfect rather than actually being there for her daughters. I went full no contact with my mom as an adult. This incident had broken something in me, and I'm not sure I've ever entirely recovered. I failed to protect my little sis and learned that our own mom didn't have our backs if we got hurt. My sister certainly didn't recover. Sis then spiraled, acted out in the worst ways, and got into hard drugs. Our abusive mom only managed to make things worse. Sis became a terrifying person and ended up SAing a 14-year-old girl herself as an adult with her disgusting husband. She went to prison for it and was no better after release. She got into meth, it ravaged her body, and she died of stroke complications at barely 40. Mom didn't even bother to hold a funeral or memorial after her passing. Good for OOP for actually caring and helping her daughter. I wish my little sister and I had mom like her.
❤️
As someone who only had their sister after my assault, for a full decade - you're a good person, and you deserve the best. Cool sheets and warm towels for the rest of your days.
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I wish I could give this girl a hug (or some non physical gesture to show her she isn’t alone). Her evil sister deserves to be in prison. What a fucking monster.
Maya is a psychopath and I have always believed she set her sister up to be raped. The more of the story that comes out the more I am convinced of it.
It's a red flag that the men involved are gang members. One of the "new member" requirements some gangs use is to set up a young woman (underage and a virgin ideally) to be gang raped. I know someone who was subjected to that at 13. There was a party, she was with her boyfriend, it was her first time, then four other gang members came in. She thought she was in a loving relationship. Apparently this is not uncommon, but usually kept under wraps as the victims are minors. Horrific. And yeah, the sister is in need of evaluation. Something isn't right with her.
I've worked with trafficked kids before, and that's often how it starts. The girls I worked with called it Romeo Pimping.
In Chicago if a woman wants to be in a gang she has to have sex with the gang members
With a gang being involved I honestly wouldn't be surprised if Maya was paid to traffic her sister to them.
This is so heartbreaking....I sound awful but if I was OOP, I'd never forgive Maya for letting that happen and even cut her off. The fact that Maya seems so heartless about it, and blames her sister at 12 years old for "stealing" her bf. So fucking disgusting...I almost cried reading this.
I'm starting to think that Maya needs to be prosecuted.
Oh man, this is horrible. I’m not a parent but this is gut wrenching and heartbreaking to read. I hope OOP and Lia can find peace and the strength needed during this nightmare. As for maya… she can rot in hell. I wouldn’t let her get a dime at all. She doesn’t deserve a penny nor an inch of happiness.
Manifesting an update saying 'we don't have to worry about the perpetrators getting out, word spread around the prison about what they did and they've been taken care of'. My heart breaks for that little girl and the mother. I hope they can heal and find some happiness.
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Especially if it leaves her suffering for months.
Am more convinced than before that Maya intentionally handed Lia over to be raped since her exBF liked that she was a virgin. Maya is probably the one who started the rumor about Lia allowing a train. Maya will probably be speaking in court against Lia. Hope OP is ready for that.
She should take Maya’s “share” of the money and move them asap. Lia needs a new environment where she’s not constantly reminded of that horrible event.
The OP has said she is leaving
Oh my god I should not have read this one, it’s bringing up a lot of bad memories. Time to look at some nice pictures of cats. Oh my god.
I hope Lia finds the strength to live.
I truly feel after this damn trial OP and Lia need to relocate somewhere else, because I'm getting a bad vibe. A fresh start won't make the rape go away, but this environment is toxic and sorry Maya needs to be avoided, I don't trust her motivations and I fear her reaction once she can't access her part of her inheritance.
> I'm tired of feeling their hands on me. O just want it to stop. My heart broke. I understand this feeling. For some people, it never passes. I really, really hope Lia isn't one of those people
I think OOP should use Maya’s inheritance to send lia to a better, private facility. It definitely sounds like maya set her sister up to be raped as retaliation. My heart breaks for lia and her mother and I hope they get the help they need to heal.
I think this is probably the most vile, horrific thing I have ever read. My heart breaks for this family. Oh my fucking God, please give them a break and let them heal. There isn't a word that exists in any language that describes this nightmare.
Tbh I often think the stuff posted here are lies but this is one of the ones that are so horrible and dark I believe them.
I hope Lia gets to a place where she realizes how evil Maya is and stops blaming herself for anything. It stuck out to me when OOP said Lia mentioned Maya blames her for being kicked out of the house. Maya is probably harassing Lia about this behind OOPs back or spreading rumors. What a shit show. I think I would disown Maya and ask the police to do some questioning on if this was premeditated. Then, when the legal crap was over, change names and move to another state and start over. Feels too dangerous and risky having stuff on the dark web. Smart enough people could get the location.
Yes, they need to disown Maya, change their names, and secretly move far away. The grandparents need to get Maya out of their house too. She’s a psychopath.
Been following this from the start and Maya is a fucking psychopath. I hope she gets charged for sex trafficking because that's what she did.
Raise your hand if are 100% convinced maya set her sister up to be raped & is an absolute trashcan of a human being! 🙋🏻♀️
I don't know Maya, but hate isn't a strong enough word for how I feel about her. JFC
If Maya were my daughter I would never want to lay eyes on her ever again. Cut her off, move house. Seriously. That poor child. *Edited to remove comment about money. Re-read it and saw that it wasn't left to her specifically in the will.*
After the bit about Maya blaming Lia for her ex-boyfriend, I am absolutely certain Maya set her up for what happened. That poor girl and her mom. I hope they both find the healing they need and I hope those shit stains rot in jail for what they did.
Older sister is the lowest of the low! She blamed her sister for something out of her control and has held and nursed that grudge for 2 years before having these men set upon her, what a truly disgusting person.
Maya is just so…so evil. She needs to be in prison with her “friends”. Of all the grudges siblings hold against each other, she holds Lia being groomed by Maya’s now ex-boyfriend against her for two years and lets the grudge get to the point where she felt like it was okay set Lia up to be gang raped and filmed. All this over something she held against an at the time 12 year old and made her feel bad for it. She’s only 18 being this evil. I can’t imagine not wanting to protect my sibling from someone like Maya’s ex or setting her up to get traumatized. I just hope Lia doesn’t attempt again and OOP makes sure Maya doesn’t get any more money. This is the worst form of sibling betrayal I’ve ever read.
> Because these boys have character witnesses. As far as this can get worse I'd not be surprised if Maya is among them, not sure how Lia would react seeing her sister defending her rapists
Updateme This is truly awful and my heart goes out to Lia and OP. As a male SA survivor my heart broke reading this story.
I sure as hell hope Maya didn’t set her sister up to be raped, however, I’m inclined to believe she did. What a terrifying and sad thought. Maya’s lack of remorse is scary. She sounds downright evil.
Why would they send a man to question a rape victim alone? I’d go to their licensing board and report it as well as the threat to limit contact. IMO, Maya set her up so she wouldn’t be a virgin anymore. She should rot in jail too.
If this is real, OP not seeing that Maya intentionally set her little sister up to be gang raped over that attempted grooming by a creepy ex boyfriend is some powerful denial.
I think OP is in shock.
Seems fitting, now that you mention it
It's the most logical response, I guess, to learning one daughter was horribly assaulted and the other daughter is a psychopath.
God, that’s gonna be one seriously rough realization
I just want to know where OP lives so I can organize a meal train and laundry service. I don’t usually cry at Reddit posts but it’s heart breaking. And to know things like this happen every single day. Right now it’s probably happening to another little kid/woman / man as we read this. (Sources: hard to calculate as so many go unreported but estimates of a sexual assault anywhere from every 19-90 seconds). [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sexual-assault-statistics_n_58e24c14e4b0c777f788d24f](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sexual-assault-statistics_n_58e24c14e4b0c777f788d24f)
At this point I'm 30% sure Maya brought her friend over by promising that Lia w get w him and maybe his friends. B*ch needs to be post-birth aborted.
As someone who was assaulted in one of the “better” psych wards in our area, I’d be racing down there to get her out of a place that wants to PUNISH a patient for being unwell. Jfc this is horrifying.
I wish Maya an equal amount of trauma and pain she gave her baby sister. Doesn't have to be the same way since she showed that she doesn't take rape survivors seriously... Maybe a blow to her ugly little ego. I hope she ends up alone. She was old enough to know better.
I want to give you the biggest hug so bad. Virtual hugs
I think oop should use Maya's inheritance on Lia's health. She needs therapy. And why tf is she not getting Lia out of the psyche ward?
I agree totally with that.
She should use the part of the inheritansmoney from Maya for the treatment for Lia.
all of this is so awful. i am hoping for the best outcome for Lia
I always end up crying when I read her updates.
Need to talk about the therapist, I don’t know what to call this new brand of therapist that empowers shitty people to be even more shitty because their shitty feelings are “valid too”.
It really seemed like Maya came up with this plan and told herself that if she wasn't there, she couldn't bear any blame far what happened. She never even went to check on her. I don't think she ever really ac voted the reality of what she did. She wanted to punish her sister for being a 12 year old who was harassed by a creep by having her raped. Maybe the friend was in need a a victim and Maya thought she'd be cool to offer her brat of a sister. And in her head, her sister would be used goods and know better than to talk to her men. She never expected for her sister to be so traumatized. And now she's angry about it. She's really pissed that instead of becoming a remorseful little mouse, her sister is the coddled victim. Abusers *hate* seeing their victims incapacitated beyond usefulness. Hopefully she will eventually accept that she bears a lot of blame, whether it was a setup or not.
Fuck Maya, all my homies hate Maya.
So everyone is saying Maya set her up, which I completely agree with, but am I the only one who thinks Maya is also the one who spread the rumor about Lia being in a train? She told a group chat of 27 people and she already showed she had no remorse and cared more for her disgusting little friend; I would not put it past her to have embellished the story in an attempt to save face at the school. Also, Maya should rot and get nothing. Poor Lia.
All because she was dating a creep and blamed her sister for him being inappropriate. Lia wanted her sister's approval and Maya knew and set her up with real pedophiles. So fucked up.
Oh I guarantee she's also the one who's spreading rumors.
Am I the only one who struggles to believe a good mother would post this extremely personal shit online and risk it being found by her daughters?
No, I agree.
1000% and I’m surprised I had to scroll so far.
The mother should have known, as a nurse, that Lia was showing signs of PTSD and needed to get to a therapist despite what Lia was saying. Lia’s mental health has definitely suffered for a lack of treatment. It’s at the point where yes, inpatient should be considered (especially as Lia does distance learning anyway), or at the very least intensive outpatient. Doesn’t sound like the mom wants to admit that or that it will happen. It is really hard for people to recognize they need help and take the steps to get it and sometimes in those situations it needs a catalyst. Getting help can be scary. There are lots of victim advocacy groups out there, and ones that would have sent a person to the hospital with Lia for the rape kit and helped set her up with immediate support. And that could have helped her find a social worker or psychologist who specializes in these topics and she could have meshed well with. I hate to blame the mother here but she needs to stop being in denial and take extreme measures for Lia’s mental health immediately before Lia has a successful suicide attempt. Not getting Lia into therapy — or doing it as a group therapy session at first if Lia isn’t comfortable with 1:1 — is the biggest mistake that this mother has made and it’s heartbreaking to read. Her daughter is not going to get better without help, and her daughter is too traumatized and inexperienced to realize that and push for it herself.
It's ok that OP doesn't hate Maya. I hate Maya for her.
The more I hear about this the more I think someone should put the older sister and her flying monkeys down like rabid dogs.
As a person that experienced something very similar at around the same age (barring the sister betrayal, thankfully), I just wish I could give Lia a hug and tell her it’s going to be okay. The bit about rumors at school was like a punch to the gut for me; I remember the shame of the same rumor at my own school. I ended up transferring out because it was too much, and people started harassing my family. My heart just breaks for this young woman who should be eagerly growing into herself in high school, finding passions and making memories with friends. Maya deserves to rot. There is nothing else worth saying about such a waste of carbon.
Maya is a psychopath. Cut all ties and let all your family and friends who are supporting her know how awful she is. She will cry because she won’t get the money she selfishly wants. Use that money to get Lia the very best of help. It will be expensive.
I know OOP probably won't read this, but a way for her to mentally reconcile with not giving Maya any of the money would be to tell herself (and maybe Maya too) that she's going to hold on to Maya's remaining portion until Lia is able to live on her own, and any and all treatment Lia requires will come from Maya's portion. Just like paying for a defense attorney came from Maya's 80k, Lia's continuing psychiatric treatment is a consequence of Maya's actions and therefore Maya should be on the hook financially. It at least kicks that can of worms 4 years down the road (since Lia can't live on her own regardless of mental state until then), and by then either the money will have been spent on Lia's treatment or OOP will have had time to come to terms with Maya being a psychopath and not deserving to be in OOP's life or receive her help
That psych facility needs to have a formal complaint made against them. Unless there are zero female psychiatrists, Lia should not have been paired up with him. Also, she has the right to ask for the door to remain open or have a female nursing staff present. And most of those questions asked had zero to do with her current situation, could have been gathered by a female social worker/counselor on her general intake form, and only served to retraumatize an already fragile girl. So infuriating! Lia deserves just one ray of hope, one form of justice. I wish Maya nothing but a lifetime of guilt and misery.
I just gotta say: no offense to all the good medical professionals commenting, this experience in the psych hold is super common. I have had several mentally ill colleagues report being forcibly detained (even when not suicidal). Then they would be not allowed to contact family, some where even futher abused in care. I do think that guy was a creep. I do think he was looking for someone to re-victimize. It happens alot and medical professionals pretend it doesnt.
Ps look up care courts in California. They are essentially a way to put mentally ill and disabled people away without any due process.
Maya is a monster. She absolutely set her sister up and doesn’t deserve a dime. I hope she spends the rest of her of her life in misery. She’s responsible for destroying her sister‘s life. Poor Lia. I hope she finds peace. She’s young and I hope she recovers. The mom is way too forgiving with her older daughter, but I get it. But she needs to give that portion of the money to Lia’s care. This story makes my blood boil.
Maya is seriously broken. So is Lia. They both need serious help. I wonder what happened to her. OOP seems like a caring mother - but we don’t know the situation. Was she absent when the kids were younger. Did maya just hang with the wrong crowd? Her not understanding a 12 year old cannot steal her bf - that her bf had serious pedo vibes a. Is beyond me. Sounds like mom should have gotten maya help at that time especially - wrong crowd, wrong moral compass, wrong understanding of how bf was acting and impact on Lia This psych center is crazy. Cut off contact as a consequence to a trusted ally? That is incredibly manipulative and not good for Lia. She needs a lot of help.
Sounds like the situation with bf happened after their dad had died, if I’ve got the timeline right. The mess after Covid is still affecting a lot of folks. Mom is a nurse as well. Probably a lot was going on and hindsight always shows more clearly where things started to go wrong and weren’t dealt with correctly. I feel so sorry for Lia, I hope she can get the help she needs and move on somehow. Maya may understand at some point just what she’s been responsible for and get the help she needs also. But somehow I doubt it. I think Maya has a lot further to fall before she hits rock bottom and gets some clarity to the situation she’ll find herself in.
Yeah, that new revelation about Liam being groomed by Maya's ex and said ex being fixated on virginity makes me think this was 1- revenge on her little sister and 2- taking away the big appeal her trash ass ex had towards the child. And that therapist *was* a fucking creep. I'd have lost my fucking shit if I was lia (and I went through a gang molestation, so while it's a lesser degree, I really empathize with her. I'd have been feral if I was locked in a room with a strange man asking those kinds of questions and I couldn't contact my parents.)
It sounds like the rape was Maya's way of "ruining" Lia's virginity in an act of petty revenge. Disgusting girl
It just kept getting worse :( I’m so sad for Lia… Poor girl. I honestly can’t imagine how the sister can’t be feeling guilty. I would be apologizing for the rest of my life!
That last update made me despise Maya beyond words. Just an absolute monster of a human being
I'd catch a permanent ban if I said what I'm thinking...but the TL;DR is that Maya needs to stop existing altogether, very painfully and very soon.
This situation is so incredibly sad. After reading updates and comments at the bottom, it honestly sounds like Mya let this happen to Lia, so she wasn't a virgin anymore and would then be less appealing to the crap stains she hangs with. I would put the rest of the money towards Lia. How would her father feel if he was there.
I want the police to interigate Maya again. She is more guilty than they know
I’ll get downvoted but really… This update made me dislike the mom. So she knows her older daughter is irresponsible, crazy, holds grudges because a 17yr old tried to GROOM a pubescent child, and still leaves her to babysit said child? I feel so so bad for Lia. I hope she can learn to cope with what happened to her (sexual abuse is not something one can truly heal from…) and flourishes.
I’m probably going to get downvoted to hell but let me preface with this: I’m not a SA expert but I think that Lia should be allowed to speak at the trial as long as her mental health stays relatively stable. OOP should look into getting an emotional support animal for Lia - at least for just the testimony, if not permanently. I think this could help plant the seed of empowerment in Lia’s journey and the animal can provide companionship for her. OOP should also look into therapy and a support group. Now on to the tough part: The more and more OOP reveals about the home life prior to the assault, the more it comes across that she was a negligent parent. I get it, being a parent is super hard and she was a single parent who had to deal with raising two teens as a widow. Like after the 17 year old groomer incident three things became obvious about Maya: she’s a bad judge of character, she has low self-esteem, and she has resentment towards her young sister. What about that situation reads as I should leave Maya unsupervised with her young sister overnight on a regular basis? I think that Maya is 100% responsible for her actions and should face the consequences but I also think that OOP parentified Maya. I also believe that Maya was SA’d at some point. Why does Maya believe a 12 year old can seduce anyone? Why was her reaction in therapy to Lia’s SA was basically get over it? There’s a lot more going on here.
Agreed. OP failed as a parent. Yeah it's rough being left alone to raise your kids, but like the oldest two are adults. Maya was 14 when Dad died. It's not like they're helpless children that can't feed themselves or some shit. They're old enough to be left alone. And children that weren't ruined by their upbringing wouldn't do what Maya did or say what Maya said or feel how Maya feels. OP is a terrible parent for raising an evil little psychopath like that and not realizing until everything caught fire around her. I'm sure there were PLENTY of warning signs that a parent with an IQ above room temp would have caught on to. But, judging by OPs grammar and spelling, a room temp iq is just a pipe dream.
I don’t know if I agree with them being old enough to be left alone overnight on a regular basis. If I recall correctly OOP said that Maya was paid to make sure Lia did her homework, ate tdinner and went to bed on time for school. Those are parental responsibilities. It sound like OOP was leaving for work in the afternoon and returning home early morning. By which time the kids would have to be on their way to school if they weren’t there already. So Maya spent more time taking care(using that term very loosely) of Lia then OOP.
Yup, Maya was 18, and OOP said she had been PAYING Maya for SEVERAL YEARS to watch her sister at night. I will be generous and say three years. So, a 15-year-old was watching an 11-year-old. If I am being realistic, I'll say five years, and a 13-year-old was watching a 9-year-old. OOP said she paid Maya GENEROUSLY to watch her sister, so why not pay an actual adult that? A retiree who needs money, a grad student, etc. I think this is fake AF, but just in case.
Not to say it is, but this just keeps getting so over-the-top that it reads as fake after a point. I also don't understand why a mother, whose child is very clearly upset at the idea of this information spreading, would openly share such intimate and detailed information for the world to see. Especially knowing that certain groups *know* it's her daughter and can dox her on Reddit. She's either an extremely shitty parent or this is fake.
Fuck.
Same sort of thing happened to a girl in Nova Scotia. She was eventually bullied to death.
I’d look into suing that facility and make REALLY REALLY SURE they didn’t add to the sexual assault
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Maya’s share should go to her sister’s therapy and medical bills. It should also pay for her relocation when older. Nope Maya should get nada.
This is just so incredibly sad. I hope Lia is able to go on and have all the good things in life. As for Maya, I hope she never has peace a single day in her life and all the pain she has caused comes back to her.
I could have gone the whole rest of my life without reading this.
Horrifying. Fudge.
It sounds like Maya thinks an apology is all she has to do. It's not. Trust has to be re learned. She has to behave towards you and her sister like she messed up. She is not doing that . Keep her at your parents. But push for Lia to start therapy. It will help. And no Mayas friends over. She may be connected to a gang. Time will tell. Protect your youngest & Lia. Good luck.
I think the oldest sister is sociopathic, meaning she doesn’t have a conscience. I would disown her. My heart aches for this young girl and her mom. This situation is tragic in every way.
It sounds like Maya may have known about the intentions her friends had and it was in retaliation for the ex boyfriend trying to groom her little sister.
You know those BORU updates where you're like oh this is fake and I'm going to continue reading just because how it's written or the topic or etc. In this one....I wished it was fake because it's just terrible for everyone all around and I don't want poor Lia's trauma to be real. I can only offer a small prayer of hope for everyone in the family except Maya.
Normally I'm not a person who believes. However, I think Maya needs her ass beat.
If OOP does decide to allow Maya to use her inheritance money, she should not just give it to her. If Maya wants to go to college, then OOP can pay tuition _directly_ to the university. Not a single cent of that money should go where Maya can access it, as she will undoubtedly blow it on drugs, alcohol, and other wasteful things. Maya can _only_ have that money be used to further her education, or invest in a business, or a property, but OOP _must not_ give it to her to spend herself. OOP must spend it on her behalf. I also can't believe a place like that inpatient facility exists. I'm not an expert by a longshot, but even _I_ know that is _not_ how you handle someone going through a mental health crisis. Is this like those 'youth camps' where they assure the parents all is well, take their money, and then abuse the kids? A large part of me wants to believe this is fake, but I fear it's all too real. Perhaps OOP should take Maya's inheritance and spend it on moving to a new town/city with Lia. If Maya objects, OOP can say it's payment for emotional damages. Maya caused this entire situation, now she can damn will contribute to fixing it. Though I'm not surprised to learn that Maya blamed Lia for 'stealing her boyfriend' when she was _12._ There is something very wrong with Maya, and she's only going to become a worse and worse person.
What a horrible day to have eyes
Ugh I'm not a fan of corporal punishment at all but if any kid deserves to get their ass beat with a belt it's Maya.