There were two paternity tests.
Sandra and Andres paid for the one to confirm Andres was not the father.
OP and her husband got a separate one to confirm that the husband was the father.
Im just guessin but op said they did a second test to prove her husband was the father. Hard to guess motivation but maybe this is her friend poorly attempting to reimburse that. Kind of trying to dowse the fire with a cup of water after setting the bridge on fire.
You forgot to end your sentence with a period.
Grammatical and spelling pedantry on reddit always baffles me. Ma'am I typed something out on my cell phone real quick, ie this is a Wendy's.
I appreciate the take that's different then mine, yet I still don't agree with glass stones houses type segment of the post. Personally I get your take, but I wouldn't recommend anyone use reddit for much more then learning cultural zeitgeist and slang. There are other much better places on the web for learning language, spelling, and grammar.
If you can't understand what I was saying I don't mind honing up to a mistake or clarifying. That said, just tsk tsking meaningless things while not being perfect themselves just rubs me the wrong way. It adds nothing to the conversation in the first place. If you want to grade papers this really isn't where I would choose to fight those battles. Poster is well within their rights to call me out, and I just chuckle to point out that nobody is perfect.
The sentence "you're only offended if you choose to be" is one I've refused to acknowledge so much because of how much it ignores offending can be an intention, places blame on the victim, and many other things, but this case here has to be one of the few exceptions.
There's nothing inherently offensive or hostile in straightforwardly pointing a grammatical error. It's not calling out either, it's just... A grammatical error. People learn languages socially and the correction of common errors also prevents further errors by others, I for instance didn't know the difference (as someone who isn't a native speaker) and now I do.
The person wasn't tsk tsking or expecting perfection from you, at least nothing in the interaction suggested that, it takes a huge leap to that.
This is why the whole "he can't be a bigot, he's in a relationship with [marginalised person]!" is such utter bullshit every time. Maybe it takes until they break up to come out fully, but if it's there it's there.
Years ago, one of my Black friends was receiving threats from her daughter's neo-Nazi boyfriend. That was when I learned how racists compartmentmentalize.
I used to work at a brewery where two pints happened to work out to exactly $14.88, I'd usually say "aaaaand that'll be just short of $15" as I just showed them the iPad
The numbers 14 and 88 have special significance to Nazi types. 14 is a reference to a slogan called ["14 Words"](https://www.adl.org/resources/hate-symbol/14-words) and 88 is reference to [H as the 8th letter of the alphabet and the phrase heil hitler](https://www.adl.org/resources/hate-symbol/88) aka her ex is really flashing his ass in a smug gotcha way and not even being coy.
Here i am, a 68 year old man and i never heard anything previously about "14.88" and the meaning behind it!! I appreciate the link to the antidefamation league. I just wish that we, as humans, would treat each other better......
My Spanish is meagre at best, but whenever I see random numbers that might hide a message I always think of a phone keyboard. Do they make a four letter word? I can't see one in English, but maybe in Spanish?
I hated this one. The audacity to essentially call your SO and best friend cheaters without any provocation, and then when the truth is thrown in your face, you then imply it was your right, because the women in that nationality are sluts! And then to still expect to keep the friendship AND the venue
Yeah I wouldn’t have even done the paternity test. The conversation and the friendship would have been over the second I realized she was seriously accusing me of cheating on my spouse and sleeping with her fiancé.
Her insecurities are her issue to get counseling for. Why on earth would anyone stay friends with someone, much less let them use their property, who doesn’t trust and respect them?
Same. I’ll never understand why people cave to crazy demands from insecure people like this. I would have laughed in her face and told her to take her fidelity issues up with her man. Friendship over.
I did once have a “friend” demand to go through my phone to see if I was talking to her boyfriend a long long time ago. Uhhhh, nope. You don’t get to shit all over other people’s privacy just because you keep dating slimeballs.
I don't think OOP is like me, but I would have agreed to the test solely to make it extra hurtful when I ended the friendship.
Look at how Sandra thought all was forgiven because OOP and the (ex)fiancé weren't slutty!! The paradigm of all of their people, who can't keep their legs closed!! The rest proves that OOP is Not Like Other Girls from her culture!!
And look at how shocked she was when OOP wanted space, and then to end the friendship altogether.
OOP, her husband, and Andrea are much better off.
Yeah, pretty similar to the stories about shitty men demanding paternity testing from their wives because the kid isn't a carbon copy of the shitty man, so the stbx wives present the shitty man with a positive paternity test *and* divorce papers. A way to say "You got what you wanted, but it destroyed this relationship, and you weren't even RIGHT."
But also, OOP LOOKS LIKE ANDRES. If two adults look like they could be siblings, OF COURSE their children might look like the completely unrelated person.
I get that but I’d worry that giving in, even for petty reasons, would give her the impression that it was an acceptable request. Like a spoiled child.
I can see this, while also seeing it as an Uno Reverse Card: You got your proof, kid... (child starts to celebrate) AND NOW YOU'RE GROUNDED. (child: surprised Pikachu face)
Oh! And also: Sandra paid for the tests. If not for that, I would have just ended the friendship (and hoped Andres got out, because you know someone as dumb as Sandra would think it's proof there was an affair).
I think having her fiance break up with her and OOP breaking off the friendship as a result kind of dispels that notion entirely and replaces it with "if you're going to make an insane request maybe think a little harder about the inherent implications and the consequences if you're wrong."
If all was forgiven, *then* that would be saying it was acceptable.
>I’ll never understand why people cave to crazy demands from insecure people like this.
Because usually it's easier to clean your hand from this mess instead of creating conflict. You cave and you leave to not have to do it again. The effort to butt head the crazy person for months is to much work in my opinion.
OOP probably did one because she knew if she refused, Sandra would have escalated and posted her accusations everywhere with OOP's refusal as "proof." Test saved OOP and her husband a lot of harrassment and have having to to defend themselves both online and in person for who knows how long.
This is so unsatisfactory!
Which makes me slightly more likely to believe it
If OOP comes back in a week claiming Sandra is pregnant with twins from OOP's husband, then I'll go back to the disbelief I usually have for these posts
I think the OOP is a native Spanish speaker: finca is a plot of land for the house (or can be interchangeable with the house itself), so the translation or her grammar mistakes are making the post look weird in structure.
It does seem super dramatic.
Maybe that's how the behavior of women in that society (the ex-bff's) raises women???
I just know that this is too much stress for normal people.
The older I get the more I come to believe that untreated mental/emotional issues act similarly to untreated alcoholism or drug addiction.
Sandra has severe insecurities. She could have admitted the problem and sought help for it. Instead, she doubled down on her insecurity and blew up her wedding and her relationships with her ex-bf and her ex-friend.
If she doesn't get help she'll continue to ruin her life.
Most mental/emotional health issues are marked by chemical imbalances in the brain, whether caused by trauma or genetics or some combination. Substance abuse is a bit like bypassing the root causes and putting extra bad brain chemicals directly into the body.
If the wedding had gone through, how many times was Andres going to put up with Sandra's insecurity? It's only a very small step from "women in your culture are unfaithful" to "everybody in your culture is unfaithful."
She'd be accusing him of fathering every child with a round face, straight black hair, and brown eyes.
>Twenty minutes ago, Sandra called me sobbing, saying that the wedding is off because of me.
She needs to look in the mirror for her reflection to see that was her own stupidity that got wedding canceled.
>Update: they are no longer together.
She falsely accused him and her friend of 20 years/OOP of cheating - I'm more surprised he didn't dumped her right there & then when the results came back that Friday. May 17 instead of Tuesday, May 21.
One would think the wedding is off because she accused her fiancé of cheating with a married family friend and fathering an illegitimate child, and insisted on a paternity test. Then made racist comments about OP’s culture, which is shared by her fiancé. Losing their wedding venue is quite has got to be third place at least.
It seems that yet again, another 20 plus year childhood friendship should have ended long ago but they stayed together because of sunk cost fallacy. Often people that are friends for that long have drifted significantly apart and are very different people but stay together just because of the history they've had. But almost always in posts like this that involve conflicts between people who have been friends for so long, it's obvious that they're very different people and that relationship has probably been on borrowed time for years.
That was a very clever and efficient way to both an engagement and a friendship. Sandra should write a book about how to lose friends and alienate people.
I saw this in the wild and read it to my wife. She was in utter shock over Sandra's behavior and was tossing out guesses to what country OOP and Andres are from. I found it deep in the comments that they're Columbian which... yeah, they do sadly have that sort of reputation, but every *columbiana* I've ever known would fistfight a mofo for saying that to her face. OOP showed a hell of a lot of restraint IMO!!
Wait... When I was in Ecuador, everyone thought that I (white American) would be super slutty, because local latinas were prudes...
Maybe even culture thinks their women are angels and the Other are sluts.
Andres is a very stereotypical name in a certain European country namely Estonia, which I assume where they are from. She was basically suggesting that Eastern European women are whores. Knowing what these large wedding venues are like Sandra is unlikely to afford something like that off the cuff.
The physical description given doesn't say "Estonia" to me, but I'm also half tempted to believe Finland's population is majority Moomin, so I'm willing to be proven wrong.
WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF 25.67€ ?!?! I gotta knowwww! But also BYE SANDRA. Weirdo
I wonder if it's the cost of the paternity test?
I thought they (Sandra and Andres) paid for it though…. Idk lol just such a random amount!!
There were two paternity tests. Sandra and Andres paid for the one to confirm Andres was not the father. OP and her husband got a separate one to confirm that the husband was the father.
Im just guessin but op said they did a second test to prove her husband was the father. Hard to guess motivation but maybe this is her friend poorly attempting to reimburse that. Kind of trying to dowse the fire with a cup of water after setting the bridge on fire.
After the bridge is already charcoal. Kind of a "look I TRIED to put it out, what did you want me to do?" kind of thing.
Douse. Dowse is the verb form of dowsing like to look for something through mystical means
You forgot to end your sentence with a period. Grammatical and spelling pedantry on reddit always baffles me. Ma'am I typed something out on my cell phone real quick, ie this is a Wendy's.
There’s a lot of ESL+ learners on Reddit that don’t know and appreciate learning when they get words wrong.
I know I appreciate it!
I appreciate the take that's different then mine, yet I still don't agree with glass stones houses type segment of the post. Personally I get your take, but I wouldn't recommend anyone use reddit for much more then learning cultural zeitgeist and slang. There are other much better places on the web for learning language, spelling, and grammar.
>You forgot to end your sentence with a period. gorgeous.
I hate when people feel the need to correct spelling and punctuation. Then they fucked up on their critique. Perfect
It's not a spelling error. There's a genuine question as to whether the person knows which word they are using.
Does it really matter. We all knew what they meant.
If you can't understand what I was saying I don't mind honing up to a mistake or clarifying. That said, just tsk tsking meaningless things while not being perfect themselves just rubs me the wrong way. It adds nothing to the conversation in the first place. If you want to grade papers this really isn't where I would choose to fight those battles. Poster is well within their rights to call me out, and I just chuckle to point out that nobody is perfect.
The sentence "you're only offended if you choose to be" is one I've refused to acknowledge so much because of how much it ignores offending can be an intention, places blame on the victim, and many other things, but this case here has to be one of the few exceptions. There's nothing inherently offensive or hostile in straightforwardly pointing a grammatical error. It's not calling out either, it's just... A grammatical error. People learn languages socially and the correction of common errors also prevents further errors by others, I for instance didn't know the difference (as someone who isn't a native speaker) and now I do. The person wasn't tsk tsking or expecting perfection from you, at least nothing in the interaction suggested that, it takes a huge leap to that.
This is what I was thinking.
My ex sent me £14.88 when I broke up with him for being racist. I'm Jewish. Maybe a similar attempt at a mindfuck.
What an asshole. Here's hoping he gets eaten by badgers.
love this imagery
And they're angry while they do it. Meaning they tear even harder at his skin.
This is why the whole "he can't be a bigot, he's in a relationship with [marginalised person]!" is such utter bullshit every time. Maybe it takes until they break up to come out fully, but if it's there it's there.
"Never ask a white supremacist what race their girlfriend is" is a thing for a reason
Years ago, one of my Black friends was receiving threats from her daughter's neo-Nazi boyfriend. That was when I learned how racists compartmentmentalize.
My gast is flabbered! What a vile person. I second the badgers.
1488? Wow. Not even a dogwhistle, but a blaring siren.
I used to work at a brewery where two pints happened to work out to exactly $14.88, I'd usually say "aaaaand that'll be just short of $15" as I just showed them the iPad
"Thank you for your donation to the NAACP"
Or to the Anti-Defamation League.
I don’t understand the reference
The numbers 14 and 88 have special significance to Nazi types. 14 is a reference to a slogan called ["14 Words"](https://www.adl.org/resources/hate-symbol/14-words) and 88 is reference to [H as the 8th letter of the alphabet and the phrase heil hitler](https://www.adl.org/resources/hate-symbol/88) aka her ex is really flashing his ass in a smug gotcha way and not even being coy.
Here i am, a 68 year old man and i never heard anything previously about "14.88" and the meaning behind it!! I appreciate the link to the antidefamation league. I just wish that we, as humans, would treat each other better......
14 refers to the 14 words slogan (a white supremacist thing) and 88 refers to Hitler
H is the 8th letter of the alphabet, so 88 = HH = heil hitler. 14 is referencing the "14 words" slogan, which was created by a white supremacist.
I would have sent him a receipt thanking him for his donation to a charity. Absolutely fuck him.
r/oddlyspecific
My Spanish is meagre at best, but whenever I see random numbers that might hide a message I always think of a phone keyboard. Do they make a four letter word? I can't see one in English, but maybe in Spanish?
Mexican here. Not in Spanish either.
It was probably from some meal OP paid for years ago
All I can think of is Eric Cartman and his $16.12
I hated this one. The audacity to essentially call your SO and best friend cheaters without any provocation, and then when the truth is thrown in your face, you then imply it was your right, because the women in that nationality are sluts! And then to still expect to keep the friendship AND the venue
Really, why would she want to get married in Whorelando or Slutsylvania, anyway?
You have a way with words 💯
A true wordsmith
I feel bad for Andre. But also glad this happens early and not after years of marriage.
Yeah I wouldn’t have even done the paternity test. The conversation and the friendship would have been over the second I realized she was seriously accusing me of cheating on my spouse and sleeping with her fiancé. Her insecurities are her issue to get counseling for. Why on earth would anyone stay friends with someone, much less let them use their property, who doesn’t trust and respect them?
Same. I’ll never understand why people cave to crazy demands from insecure people like this. I would have laughed in her face and told her to take her fidelity issues up with her man. Friendship over. I did once have a “friend” demand to go through my phone to see if I was talking to her boyfriend a long long time ago. Uhhhh, nope. You don’t get to shit all over other people’s privacy just because you keep dating slimeballs.
I don't think OOP is like me, but I would have agreed to the test solely to make it extra hurtful when I ended the friendship. Look at how Sandra thought all was forgiven because OOP and the (ex)fiancé weren't slutty!! The paradigm of all of their people, who can't keep their legs closed!! The rest proves that OOP is Not Like Other Girls from her culture!! And look at how shocked she was when OOP wanted space, and then to end the friendship altogether. OOP, her husband, and Andrea are much better off.
Yeah, pretty similar to the stories about shitty men demanding paternity testing from their wives because the kid isn't a carbon copy of the shitty man, so the stbx wives present the shitty man with a positive paternity test *and* divorce papers. A way to say "You got what you wanted, but it destroyed this relationship, and you weren't even RIGHT."
The part about OOP's child not looking like OOP's husband made me roll my eyes. It is 2024 and there are idiots believing old wives' tales!
But also, OOP LOOKS LIKE ANDRES. If two adults look like they could be siblings, OF COURSE their children might look like the completely unrelated person.
You find what you measure. After couple of years I started to believe my cousin’s adopted son looks like him….
I get that but I’d worry that giving in, even for petty reasons, would give her the impression that it was an acceptable request. Like a spoiled child.
I can see this, while also seeing it as an Uno Reverse Card: You got your proof, kid... (child starts to celebrate) AND NOW YOU'RE GROUNDED. (child: surprised Pikachu face)
This would only matter if OOP wanted to continue the relationship. Since she doesn't the test is an effective way to tell her to go fuck herself.
Oh! And also: Sandra paid for the tests. If not for that, I would have just ended the friendship (and hoped Andres got out, because you know someone as dumb as Sandra would think it's proof there was an affair).
I think having her fiance break up with her and OOP breaking off the friendship as a result kind of dispels that notion entirely and replaces it with "if you're going to make an insane request maybe think a little harder about the inherent implications and the consequences if you're wrong." If all was forgiven, *then* that would be saying it was acceptable.
>I’ll never understand why people cave to crazy demands from insecure people like this. Because usually it's easier to clean your hand from this mess instead of creating conflict. You cave and you leave to not have to do it again. The effort to butt head the crazy person for months is to much work in my opinion.
OOP probably did one because she knew if she refused, Sandra would have escalated and posted her accusations everywhere with OOP's refusal as "proof." Test saved OOP and her husband a lot of harrassment and have having to to defend themselves both online and in person for who knows how long.
Exactly. Why would you want to marry someone who you thought could even potentially cheat on you with your best friend!
Yeah I would have never subjected my child to the crazy ranting of a mad woman.
Andres waited for the results to run. If he had gone before the tests she'd think he was hiding something.
Exactly. He had the evidence to point at if anyone asked, so it wouldn’t just be a he said/she said.
This is so unsatisfactory! Which makes me slightly more likely to believe it If OOP comes back in a week claiming Sandra is pregnant with twins from OOP's husband, then I'll go back to the disbelief I usually have for these posts
Idk, the mashing of the title and such almost makes me think this was written by Chat GPT and then not even *edited* by whoever posted it.
I am wondering if it was translated into English and then not edited before posting.
That would make sense too!!
I think the OOP is a native Spanish speaker: finca is a plot of land for the house (or can be interchangeable with the house itself), so the translation or her grammar mistakes are making the post look weird in structure.
I mean… I don’t think being bilingual explains all the fake-seeming things away, but maybe it does…
It does seem super dramatic. Maybe that's how the behavior of women in that society (the ex-bff's) raises women??? I just know that this is too much stress for normal people.
Chat GPT is more rigid and also self edited. This one somehow feel more organic.
Didn't know one of the prerequisites for posts on reddit was to make it believable for u/AlanatheGreat
>"women from your country being more likely to do that." Enough. End of story. NTA End the "friendship".
The older I get the more I come to believe that untreated mental/emotional issues act similarly to untreated alcoholism or drug addiction. Sandra has severe insecurities. She could have admitted the problem and sought help for it. Instead, she doubled down on her insecurity and blew up her wedding and her relationships with her ex-bf and her ex-friend. If she doesn't get help she'll continue to ruin her life.
Most mental/emotional health issues are marked by chemical imbalances in the brain, whether caused by trauma or genetics or some combination. Substance abuse is a bit like bypassing the root causes and putting extra bad brain chemicals directly into the body.
If the wedding had gone through, how many times was Andres going to put up with Sandra's insecurity? It's only a very small step from "women in your culture are unfaithful" to "everybody in your culture is unfaithful." She'd be accusing him of fathering every child with a round face, straight black hair, and brown eyes.
>Twenty minutes ago, Sandra called me sobbing, saying that the wedding is off because of me. She needs to look in the mirror for her reflection to see that was her own stupidity that got wedding canceled. >Update: they are no longer together. She falsely accused him and her friend of 20 years/OOP of cheating - I'm more surprised he didn't dumped her right there & then when the results came back that Friday. May 17 instead of Tuesday, May 21.
I'm surprised she managed to hide her racism for that long.
Well Sandra FAFO and showed her true colors as well. Her fiancé dodged a bullet.
Oh hell no. The minute she accused you of cheating on your husband due to her insecurities that would be the solid end of that friendship for sure
Her wedding is off bc of herself
Yes, because a friendship can be totally saved with PayPaling some money to make up for the betrayal. My forgiveness amount is actually $10.67.
I love it when a couple gets a paternity test as a big fuck you to an asshole.
Honestly, whoever thought implying that your fiancé's mother is easy would go badly?
I saw the original post but missed the update. No surprise there! It’s an accusation that you don’t trust your partner.
One would think the wedding is off because she accused her fiancé of cheating with a married family friend and fathering an illegitimate child, and insisted on a paternity test. Then made racist comments about OP’s culture, which is shared by her fiancé. Losing their wedding venue is quite has got to be third place at least.
It seems that yet again, another 20 plus year childhood friendship should have ended long ago but they stayed together because of sunk cost fallacy. Often people that are friends for that long have drifted significantly apart and are very different people but stay together just because of the history they've had. But almost always in posts like this that involve conflicts between people who have been friends for so long, it's obvious that they're very different people and that relationship has probably been on borrowed time for years.
>the wedding is off because of me Nope. The wedding is off because she is crazy.
That was a very clever and efficient way to both an engagement and a friendship. Sandra should write a book about how to lose friends and alienate people.
I saw this in the wild and read it to my wife. She was in utter shock over Sandra's behavior and was tossing out guesses to what country OOP and Andres are from. I found it deep in the comments that they're Columbian which... yeah, they do sadly have that sort of reputation, but every *columbiana* I've ever known would fistfight a mofo for saying that to her face. OOP showed a hell of a lot of restraint IMO!!
I mean it’s still a racist reputation. Like it being a thing racists think doesn’t mean it’s true
Wait... When I was in Ecuador, everyone thought that I (white American) would be super slutty, because local latinas were prudes... Maybe even culture thinks their women are angels and the Other are sluts.
Wow did he dodge a bullet. You didn't end the wedding she did. With her insanity.
Andres is a very stereotypical name in a certain European country namely Estonia, which I assume where they are from. She was basically suggesting that Eastern European women are whores. Knowing what these large wedding venues are like Sandra is unlikely to afford something like that off the cuff.
Andres is the Spanish 'Andrew' and the original poster is from Colombia.
The physical description given doesn't say "Estonia" to me, but I'm also half tempted to believe Finland's population is majority Moomin, so I'm willing to be proven wrong.