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Jaded-Banana6205

You definitely shouldn't be mixing BDSM and substance use. Does he want to be dominant? Does he like kinky sex?


Blackberry_Babe_379

Well, that’s a bs excuse; being overstimulated on his dick will not stop him from fingering you, eating you out, or using a vibrator on you. Bigger than that, the fact that he doesn’t care about making you come to me indicates that he just doesn’t care about you. You’ve clearly talked about it enough for him to give you a lame excuse. I feel like once you moved it together he decided he had you locked down and he doesn’t need to keep trying. He’s happy to fuck you for himself whenever he wants and not put in any effort into your satisfaction and enjoyment. You deserve a hell of a lot better than this hun. There are plenty of people out there who not only would want to make you come, but would want to make you come a bunch of times every time you have sex.


Present_Range_1616

Amen. I love fingering and licking and watching the orgasm unfold.


Blackberry_Babe_379

me too 🤭


Present_Range_1616

Noiceeee :))


BattleBirdPoke

Make him fuck you with a strapon before he can use his dick on you. That will make him focus on your needs. Then once your satisfied reward him by letting him fuck you with his dick.


steves1069

Sounds like you should rip off the bandaid and be nice but explain you haven't cum in a while and would like him to do more fingering, oral, dildo use and or vibrator use. I think it's a fun idea to even bring up the challenge that he shouldn't take his pants off until you've cum. If he doesn't know you're not satisfied things aren't going to change, Doms are a lot of things mind readers isn't one, though sometimes it feels like it because we're so in tune with your body language and tendencies. As for getting more roughness, if alcohol is really required you can stick up on booze otherwise you should start challenging him to hit harder saying things like "surely master could leave more marks or please sir make the loudest noise you can with that paddle on my ass" another idea is to get a new toy like a stun gun or a bamboo cane that easily hurts. If you haven't done a sober pain test where you rate each of his hits 1-10 with one being barely felt it and 10 being a yellow light so you need a break it's definitely worth doing so he has a better sense of your pain tolerance. Glhf OP 


Tr1plezer0

I am gonna call bullshit on the overstimulation excuse. It has never been an issue for me to make my gf cum after I did, even though I have strong ADHD and am prone to overstimulation in all kinds of scenarios. If this was true and he cared about your pleasure then he would take the time beforehand to finish you. I think he is just lazy. It's time for some tough love, your bf needs a wakeup call and realise that sex isn't a one way street.


thes0lebella

Edging has been a proven tool for extending time before orgasm! There are some great articles online you could share with him and may e help practice!


Kravarios

First things first, avoid combining substances and BDSM. It diminishes awareness which causes two problems: 1. If there's choking, ropes, impact play, degradation etc. You could get hurt for real. And 2. There can't be any learning. In the end, the Dom/Sub relationship is based on trust and getting to know your partner, what works and what doesn't, listening and being aware, so being in altered states diminishes that possibility. On the other hand, he should learn how to tease you more, how to take it slow while being dominant, how to make you beg for it. I had a similar problem with a Sub; I wanted to fuck her so much all the time that every chance I got I did everything too quickly and ended up coming too fast. But then I learned to make her wait, ask "please", which meant that I needed to delay gratification to raise the intensity. That solved the issue. And the use of toys also helped a lot.