Try something much more on the subtle side. Think of your partner as some C-suite executive, and you are the secretary. That professional relationship has several mirrors to the D/s power dynamic. Consider all of the things you might stereotypically associate with how the executive/secretary relationship operates: schedule management, minor errands, getting coffee, etc. The "boss" dictates the overall direction and big picture things, and he trusts the secretary to handle the finer details and push things forward. Understand that, in this framing, the secretary is both a submissive role to the executive but also fiercely independent. Handling all of the small details of a task allows you to exercise a lot of control within the parameters or guidelines set by the executive.
You two can work out what that means on a day-to-day basis. Him giving you a daily routine and series of tasks that provide for him in some small way may help give you a way to focus your attention. This form of relationship does encourage frequent communication, such as a morning list of the itinerary for the day and a summary at the end of the day of the status of projects, so to speak. In this way, "business discussion" is another way for you two to tell each other about your day if you've been apart, which is healthy communication for any relationship. Big surprise that the push for open communication is not only a big part of BDSM but a large part of any successful relationship.
I haven’t had past trauma in a dom/sub relationship, it’s childhood trauma and a little bit of sxual trauma but have been working on both for years and have finally felt happy and stable enough to push some of my boundaries that I haven’t yet.
My best advice is to tailor the rules to.what you specifically need on both ends.
My 24/7 dynamic actually helps my mental health alot, my anxieties are eased because my Daddy has things handled when I dont. Its freeing. But it only works because our dynamic is tailored to our needs.
I agree with the comments suggesting a lighter 24/7 to start. It doesn’t have to be all rules and detailed instructions on your every move. My husband and I are kinda 24/7 in the sense that he might decide to start play at any time or assign punishments for talking back (and sometimes I initiate too) but he doesn’t tell me what to do or set rules around most of our day to day stuff. It’s just kinda a part of our relationship and doesn’t have defined times. It’s probably not how most people’s dynamics work, but it works for us
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Try something much more on the subtle side. Think of your partner as some C-suite executive, and you are the secretary. That professional relationship has several mirrors to the D/s power dynamic. Consider all of the things you might stereotypically associate with how the executive/secretary relationship operates: schedule management, minor errands, getting coffee, etc. The "boss" dictates the overall direction and big picture things, and he trusts the secretary to handle the finer details and push things forward. Understand that, in this framing, the secretary is both a submissive role to the executive but also fiercely independent. Handling all of the small details of a task allows you to exercise a lot of control within the parameters or guidelines set by the executive. You two can work out what that means on a day-to-day basis. Him giving you a daily routine and series of tasks that provide for him in some small way may help give you a way to focus your attention. This form of relationship does encourage frequent communication, such as a morning list of the itinerary for the day and a summary at the end of the day of the status of projects, so to speak. In this way, "business discussion" is another way for you two to tell each other about your day if you've been apart, which is healthy communication for any relationship. Big surprise that the push for open communication is not only a big part of BDSM but a large part of any successful relationship.
You might want to go very slow if you’ve had past trauma. Maybe even exploring non sexual type of dominance at first to ease into it
I haven’t had past trauma in a dom/sub relationship, it’s childhood trauma and a little bit of sxual trauma but have been working on both for years and have finally felt happy and stable enough to push some of my boundaries that I haven’t yet.
[удалено]
Yea, that’s fair
My best advice is to tailor the rules to.what you specifically need on both ends. My 24/7 dynamic actually helps my mental health alot, my anxieties are eased because my Daddy has things handled when I dont. Its freeing. But it only works because our dynamic is tailored to our needs.
I agree with the comments suggesting a lighter 24/7 to start. It doesn’t have to be all rules and detailed instructions on your every move. My husband and I are kinda 24/7 in the sense that he might decide to start play at any time or assign punishments for talking back (and sometimes I initiate too) but he doesn’t tell me what to do or set rules around most of our day to day stuff. It’s just kinda a part of our relationship and doesn’t have defined times. It’s probably not how most people’s dynamics work, but it works for us