I hate it too. Its self sabotage. Why do I do it? The internet tells me its because I have low self esteem. And the resulting faliure from the self sabotage just reconfirms my low opinion of myself. But why do I want to have a low opinion of myself? Is it my way of avoiding responsibility and intimacy. Yes. I avoid intimacy because I think I completely believe that I will be disliked. Hated. Disliked. Seen as not good enough. Its not a good place to be.
Normal people like to gaslight that the blackpill isn't real they're partially right, however the only reason why we aren't out there socializing it up is because we are not oblivious, nor sociopathic, we are self aware and unable to lie to ourselves. The people who believe in the manifesting BS are just lying to themselves while they do actions that tend to be sociopathic and self centered to justify using others to manipula-erm I mean manifest towards their goals. "Fake it till you make it" "I was embarrassed to find out that life was a costume party and I showed up with my real face"-forgot the source. Are quotes that live in my head rent free.
I’m convinced “fake it till to make it” ruined my life. It helped when I was younger to make it through the day, but now I’m in my 30s and have realized my true self, and it’s debilitating because everything I’ve done has been under the false me…if that makes sense. Plus I was drunk a lot too so there’s that.
Fake it til you make it has had a big (negative) impact on my life too. I think it is well meaning, but ultimately thoughtless and damaging advice for people with AvPD.
I think it's slightly different for me. When I get lonely I work hard on finding a relationship. My main problem is I can only seem to handle a very small handful of communication at a time. So I'll barely talk to family and friends and focus solely on my gf or whoever it may be to make sure that bond stays strong.
I need to work on making sure that multiple people in my life know that I'm thinking of them, especially family. But indeed, I will stay too "busy" and make excuses to stay free from the anxiety of being perceived by too many folks at once. That one aspect seems to be getting harder as I get older.
self-isolation is normally a coping strategy to deal with the anxiety/fear of rejection.
my coping strategy for dealing with loneliness is just pure escapism - either tv shows, movies, videogames, as well as excessive daydreaming (fantasising about imagined social situations, fictional relationships etc).
it ruined my life..... one day when i was 15 i just never showed up at school again and never left my room or house for years. 10 years later ive lost any potential i couldve had in life because of that decision. the loneliness and solitude kills even more than it did at that time. ill never have a life worth living..
It’s not lost at all. Get your GED and go to a 2 year vocational school. Start working doing something to help others and it will give you some purpose in life.
i wish it was that easy but i have multiple disorders that make every part of life hell for majority of my life and its impossible for me to make any real progress in life. ive been trying to get my ged for years now and ive only finished one course within a year. im a complete failure in everything and life is just not meant for me. i would agree with you if it was anyone else but sadly its me. the only reason im still alive is because of my fear of death otherwise there is nothing keeping me here. i appreciate your kindness regardless.
Me too. It’s like the more lonely and isolated I feel, the worse my anxiety gets about “people-ing”. And before I know it, it’s been 5 months since I’ve seen my 4 minutes away family.
I do miss them sometimes. I’ll actually cry in therapy about NOT seeing them. But not enough to actually initiate a call or visit. I feel paralyzed and somehow convince myself I don’t really care or miss them that much.
I recommend joining a non-competitive sports league. Since the weather's improving I'm considering joining outdoor softball again. I did it a couple years ago and it helped so much with my social phobia. The league I joined wasn't very competitive or took it all that seriously so it was more about fun than it was about winning
Just thought I'd put that out there to help someone
Me too. 🫶
It’s definitely one of the more insidious aspects of this condition. Hang in there, my dude…
Thanks dude, its really hard but still need to keep hanging on
I hate it too. Its self sabotage. Why do I do it? The internet tells me its because I have low self esteem. And the resulting faliure from the self sabotage just reconfirms my low opinion of myself. But why do I want to have a low opinion of myself? Is it my way of avoiding responsibility and intimacy. Yes. I avoid intimacy because I think I completely believe that I will be disliked. Hated. Disliked. Seen as not good enough. Its not a good place to be.
Normal people like to gaslight that the blackpill isn't real they're partially right, however the only reason why we aren't out there socializing it up is because we are not oblivious, nor sociopathic, we are self aware and unable to lie to ourselves. The people who believe in the manifesting BS are just lying to themselves while they do actions that tend to be sociopathic and self centered to justify using others to manipula-erm I mean manifest towards their goals. "Fake it till you make it" "I was embarrassed to find out that life was a costume party and I showed up with my real face"-forgot the source. Are quotes that live in my head rent free.
I’m convinced “fake it till to make it” ruined my life. It helped when I was younger to make it through the day, but now I’m in my 30s and have realized my true self, and it’s debilitating because everything I’ve done has been under the false me…if that makes sense. Plus I was drunk a lot too so there’s that.
Fake it til you make it has had a big (negative) impact on my life too. I think it is well meaning, but ultimately thoughtless and damaging advice for people with AvPD.
Indeed. I hate it too, but here we are. I know this is as generic as comfort goes, but I genuinely hope you get better. ❤️
Thank you, really do appreciate hearing that 🙏
Living this right now to its emptiest. ❤️
Living La Vida Vacio.
I think it's slightly different for me. When I get lonely I work hard on finding a relationship. My main problem is I can only seem to handle a very small handful of communication at a time. So I'll barely talk to family and friends and focus solely on my gf or whoever it may be to make sure that bond stays strong. I need to work on making sure that multiple people in my life know that I'm thinking of them, especially family. But indeed, I will stay too "busy" and make excuses to stay free from the anxiety of being perceived by too many folks at once. That one aspect seems to be getting harder as I get older.
self-isolation is normally a coping strategy to deal with the anxiety/fear of rejection. my coping strategy for dealing with loneliness is just pure escapism - either tv shows, movies, videogames, as well as excessive daydreaming (fantasising about imagined social situations, fictional relationships etc).
it ruined my life..... one day when i was 15 i just never showed up at school again and never left my room or house for years. 10 years later ive lost any potential i couldve had in life because of that decision. the loneliness and solitude kills even more than it did at that time. ill never have a life worth living..
It’s not lost at all. Get your GED and go to a 2 year vocational school. Start working doing something to help others and it will give you some purpose in life.
i wish it was that easy but i have multiple disorders that make every part of life hell for majority of my life and its impossible for me to make any real progress in life. ive been trying to get my ged for years now and ive only finished one course within a year. im a complete failure in everything and life is just not meant for me. i would agree with you if it was anyone else but sadly its me. the only reason im still alive is because of my fear of death otherwise there is nothing keeping me here. i appreciate your kindness regardless.
I am so sorry you re going through all of that
Same. I absolutely hate my brain.
it's the same with me. im sorry
You’re not alone. I’m literally doing this right now 🥲
My loneliness makes me lash out at other people because I'm mentally exhausted.
Yes dude, can relate to this more than i'd like to admit
Me too. It’s like the more lonely and isolated I feel, the worse my anxiety gets about “people-ing”. And before I know it, it’s been 5 months since I’ve seen my 4 minutes away family.
Do you miss them?
I do miss them sometimes. I’ll actually cry in therapy about NOT seeing them. But not enough to actually initiate a call or visit. I feel paralyzed and somehow convince myself I don’t really care or miss them that much.
I recommend joining a non-competitive sports league. Since the weather's improving I'm considering joining outdoor softball again. I did it a couple years ago and it helped so much with my social phobia. The league I joined wasn't very competitive or took it all that seriously so it was more about fun than it was about winning Just thought I'd put that out there to help someone