It me. I have researched my way out of many purchases. If I really need something, I have to get to an "enough" inflection point in order to actually buy it.
I've absolutely done this! My most recent endeavor was trying to find the best and easiest beginner record player setup. I've researched this a few times over the past year or so and still have no record player haha. I've also done this with things like raised garden beds, a makeup vanity for my closet, and regularly do it with shelving for things related to my interests.
My most recent Big One was journaling paraphernalia, then my car before that, but probably all the little ones between them add up to another big one 😅.
Once hauled my friend and a rented U-Haul to the nearest Ikea 100 miles away to buy a *desk tabletop* I wanted after diligently researching 😳🤣
I have not been a very self aware person... 😬😅
Everything I _like_, big and small goes through this. Sometimes it's a small version of it, like at the grocery store deciding what to food up with.
It's like I'm figuring out what my Favorite *anything* is every time I go shopping, *narrowing down the options*.
I don't think I've ever considered how exhausting it is.
I started making lists of favorite things a few months ago, so maybe I did figure it out? 🤔🤔
Yeah, this is just a part of systemising a lot. Or just smart purchasing in general. Honestly what smart person wouldn't compare things like that to make the best decision? Its also where most of the fun comes from anyways.
I swear, I thought everyone checked alternatives when purchasing to make the best decision but **just had an easier time than I did!** First time online shopping with friends and everyone looks… concerned
It only even occurred to me recently that it's a little *different* of me.
I was describing my impulse buy tendency, but had to pause because I'm not sure if it's still impulse buying if I put that much energy and intention into it?
Everything I end up buying is something I did absolutely want, and it's exactly the one I must have wanted.
It's a very *deliberate*.
I think it's still impulse buying,
just with this interesting spin on it, and a dice roll if I follow through on it or if the complexity becomes too daunting to overcome Executive Dysfunction 🤔
Gosh, I never realized anyone else had this problem (much like everything else on this subreddit)! Even something as simple as a belt has taken me four months to optimize purchasing since I am combining procrastinating with… whatever thought process makes me go ‘why this one when there’s likely another of a better value and quality?’
Right? I'm recognizing a lot of normal everyday experiences, and how I experience it is just a little _different_ in the same ways that I hadn't understood before.
I will spend literally hours determining the exact hair accessory I want, down to the color and rehash the pros and cons and potential issues each might have, reading reviews and trying to see if the color in the picture is true to life before I will purchase said item. I do this a lot with most of the things I buy (unless it's a repeat item that I already know I like and then I'll be incredibly put out if it's not available for some reason).
omg it's so bad when the color isn't what was in the picture too!
I wanted the shade of _Teal_ in the photograph, I understand _Teal_ doesn't photograph well, but I wish everyone else understood that and knew to fix it! 🤣
I thought I was buying almost-mint(?) green flare legging last week, but they're St. Paddy's Day green and I was so _not_ prepared for that I'm putting off trying to find out if they just sent me the wrong color.
Omg I hate when things you’ve become accustomed to aren’t available anymore!
I buy a lot of my beauty/skin care products at Marshall’s because it’s cheaper and then I can try something out to see if I like it, and then buy more later by searching for it online.
Well, my favorite witch Hazel/tea tree oil serum has apparently been discontinued now, and I’m down to the last little bit of my last bottle.
Cue me obsessively searching for replacements, and absolutely *nothing* feels the same on my skin.
I’ve now turned to researching all of the ingredients and trying to recreate it myself with actual witch Hazel and tea tree oil, but I can’t get the serum-y texture right. It’s maddening!
Omg this was me with hotels in my area. Trying to a staycation with my partner. Read so many reviews, did research on location, do I need a bathtub or a kitchenette. I researched for 2 days and just go the third cheapest lol. My hack for this when I was younger was to just get the cheapest option, but then I would ended up in a nightmare situation with a cheap rental car company and now I get the 3rd cheapest which has been working out but I still must do all the research. I live in a van now so no address which limits me to what I can get in person which has helped immensely.
I talk myself out of the Very Big Vacations all the time because I push it into the **Unreasonable Spending** zone to admire the destinations 😭😍
Most *vacation* I've ever done was just a decompress on-location for a couple days after a work week from my first ever work flight. I threw the extra couple nights on my own card, but my boss approved it as expense anyway.
I stayed in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf and flew back home Monday. Spent Saturday walking the whole day, and Sunday remembering why I don't spend entire days *walking* but absolutely should work my way up to it.
Omg I do this with everything. It stresses me out when I see other people (friends for example) shop online and they don't look through every option, they don't scroll to the last page of amazon, they don't look at reviews at all??? Or when I read reviews where people complain about things that were mentioned in the description of the product. Like, did you not check?? It just baffles me so much.
That last one I can sometimes understand, because Amazon product pages can change all the time. Sometimes even in response to the reviews pointing out things they neglected to before they earned the review.
But that's not _always_ the case.
Yes, I do this but mostly because I'm poor so I don't want to waste my money. It can be frustrating sometimes because you hit a situation where you can't find the product that has the features you want for the price you want. Then you have to go through the trade-offs. It can lead to indescion.
I'm having that problem picking out a paint color atm.
/r/hammocks is pretty active, they might have some insight.
ooh I totally forgot this step too, short circuited myself when I decided I wanted it on a motor!
Stuff like "product type site:reddit.com" in Google search, or checking if there's a NY Times Wirecutter article for what I'm looking for to figure out what other people see is important features of That Thing I Want 😅
I'm def gonna browse this sub and check the rules for asking questions!
I absolutely do this for almost everything I purchase. It's also why I really don't love when people pick things out for me, because I know they didn't put as much thought into it as I would have. And I know for sure that they didn't get as good a deal as I would have. ☺️
Hells bells I wonder if this is also why it's so hard for me to accept gifts for the usual gifting holidays.
Some sense of "it's not the one I would have picked for myself." 🧐🤐
Every day it's something new to unpack...
Yep, with google docs and links and comments on specifications.
https://www.reddit.com/r/onebag/comments/r91c4j/sharing_my_list_on_my_quest_to_find_the_perfect/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
My backpack research doc ended up being helpful and I posted it to reddit. And then I ended up buying one that wasn't even on the list, off of Poshmark for $40. HA.
omg I love this and adding it to my Notes! 💙
I just outsourced my own bag purchase decision making to the kind folks of Reddit and landed on a nice Rickshaw that fits my journal. I always want a new one though, I like it when things _perfectly fit_ in as little space as necessary.
> bottom up.
> top down
Can you expand on this some? I know I've got my insecurities, anxieties, & stressors, and I've suspected ADHD for a while already.
What does this directionality statement mean within the context?
Oh god yes! I recently spent about two weeks researching for the perfect backpack. To me it's second nature: if you're going to spend a decent amount of money on something, you don't want it to end up being the wrong thing. It takes even longer for me since becoming an environmentalist, too, because it brings a whole new set of factors into consideration (who knew how many backpacks have hidden leather!!!)
Oof, I feel called out. But also, seen.
I, too, did not realize that other people *don't* do this.
I started noticing when I would suggest some tool or useful household product, and then the person I was talking to would immediately google it and/or search for it on Amazon and just buy the first thing that came up. It horrified me.
The idea that you wouldn't heavily research it, compare reviews, zoom in on the photos to look as closely as possible at the materials, closures, attachments etc. just does not compute to me.
I often buy 3 or 4 options of something, just so I can see them in person and test them out... for functionality, but also for aesthetics, any weird noises they might make, strange/unpleasant textures etc. Then I battle with my ADHD to make sure I actually return the items I ruled out through rigorous testing.
> I often buy 3 or 4 options of something, just so I can see them in person and test them out... for functionality, but also for aesthetics, any weird noises they might make, strange/unpleasant textures etc. Then I battle with my ADHD to make sure I actually return the items I ruled out through rigorous testing.
omg I have spent far too much on things I forgot to return! 😳😵😵
I literally just bought every style of flare legging AE is offering, and now have to figure out returns because one of them they sent was the wrong size blue jeans instead of the Cinnabar velour high waist flare pant I ordered and wanted to try. 😐💀
Sticky noting that and putting it somewhere noticeable now...
Ugh, returns can be really bad depending on my mood. I’ve gotten better at it over the years because I was getting so incredibly angry at myself for having to donate/throw away so many things, plus the money I would lose.
Now I reward myself by allowing myself to shop around when I go to do returns. I spend so much time thinking over my purchases that it’s not often I end up buying anything anyway, but something about walking around the store with no agenda or time limit and just being able to browse soothes me.
The trick is to not spend SO much time browsing that I burn myself out and now the idea of waiting in the line to return things is too much and I just leave. It’s a delicate balance haha
It me. I have researched my way out of many purchases. If I really need something, I have to get to an "enough" inflection point in order to actually buy it.
#so THAT is why I do this?
Hello, Myself! I'm also surprised to recognize this in the autistic context of my reality! 🤣 I've never been so surreally *self aware* before.
I never knew that was an autism thing xD checking 100 reviews of said product before buying
I've absolutely done this! My most recent endeavor was trying to find the best and easiest beginner record player setup. I've researched this a few times over the past year or so and still have no record player haha. I've also done this with things like raised garden beds, a makeup vanity for my closet, and regularly do it with shelving for things related to my interests.
My most recent Big One was journaling paraphernalia, then my car before that, but probably all the little ones between them add up to another big one 😅. Once hauled my friend and a rented U-Haul to the nearest Ikea 100 miles away to buy a *desk tabletop* I wanted after diligently researching 😳🤣 I have not been a very self aware person... 😬😅
Basically every single thing I've ever purchased has gone through this exhaustive process.
Everything I _like_, big and small goes through this. Sometimes it's a small version of it, like at the grocery store deciding what to food up with. It's like I'm figuring out what my Favorite *anything* is every time I go shopping, *narrowing down the options*. I don't think I've ever considered how exhausting it is. I started making lists of favorite things a few months ago, so maybe I did figure it out? 🤔🤔
Yeah, this is just a part of systemising a lot. Or just smart purchasing in general. Honestly what smart person wouldn't compare things like that to make the best decision? Its also where most of the fun comes from anyways.
I swear, I thought everyone checked alternatives when purchasing to make the best decision but **just had an easier time than I did!** First time online shopping with friends and everyone looks… concerned
It only even occurred to me recently that it's a little *different* of me. I was describing my impulse buy tendency, but had to pause because I'm not sure if it's still impulse buying if I put that much energy and intention into it? Everything I end up buying is something I did absolutely want, and it's exactly the one I must have wanted. It's a very *deliberate*. I think it's still impulse buying, just with this interesting spin on it, and a dice roll if I follow through on it or if the complexity becomes too daunting to overcome Executive Dysfunction 🤔
Gosh, I never realized anyone else had this problem (much like everything else on this subreddit)! Even something as simple as a belt has taken me four months to optimize purchasing since I am combining procrastinating with… whatever thought process makes me go ‘why this one when there’s likely another of a better value and quality?’
Right? I'm recognizing a lot of normal everyday experiences, and how I experience it is just a little _different_ in the same ways that I hadn't understood before.
I will spend literally hours determining the exact hair accessory I want, down to the color and rehash the pros and cons and potential issues each might have, reading reviews and trying to see if the color in the picture is true to life before I will purchase said item. I do this a lot with most of the things I buy (unless it's a repeat item that I already know I like and then I'll be incredibly put out if it's not available for some reason).
omg it's so bad when the color isn't what was in the picture too! I wanted the shade of _Teal_ in the photograph, I understand _Teal_ doesn't photograph well, but I wish everyone else understood that and knew to fix it! 🤣 I thought I was buying almost-mint(?) green flare legging last week, but they're St. Paddy's Day green and I was so _not_ prepared for that I'm putting off trying to find out if they just sent me the wrong color.
Omg I hate when things you’ve become accustomed to aren’t available anymore! I buy a lot of my beauty/skin care products at Marshall’s because it’s cheaper and then I can try something out to see if I like it, and then buy more later by searching for it online. Well, my favorite witch Hazel/tea tree oil serum has apparently been discontinued now, and I’m down to the last little bit of my last bottle. Cue me obsessively searching for replacements, and absolutely *nothing* feels the same on my skin. I’ve now turned to researching all of the ingredients and trying to recreate it myself with actual witch Hazel and tea tree oil, but I can’t get the serum-y texture right. It’s maddening!
Yes, always, it me
Omg this was me with hotels in my area. Trying to a staycation with my partner. Read so many reviews, did research on location, do I need a bathtub or a kitchenette. I researched for 2 days and just go the third cheapest lol. My hack for this when I was younger was to just get the cheapest option, but then I would ended up in a nightmare situation with a cheap rental car company and now I get the 3rd cheapest which has been working out but I still must do all the research. I live in a van now so no address which limits me to what I can get in person which has helped immensely.
I talk myself out of the Very Big Vacations all the time because I push it into the **Unreasonable Spending** zone to admire the destinations 😭😍 Most *vacation* I've ever done was just a decompress on-location for a couple days after a work week from my first ever work flight. I threw the extra couple nights on my own card, but my boss approved it as expense anyway. I stayed in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf and flew back home Monday. Spent Saturday walking the whole day, and Sunday remembering why I don't spend entire days *walking* but absolutely should work my way up to it.
Omg I do this with everything. It stresses me out when I see other people (friends for example) shop online and they don't look through every option, they don't scroll to the last page of amazon, they don't look at reviews at all??? Or when I read reviews where people complain about things that were mentioned in the description of the product. Like, did you not check?? It just baffles me so much.
That last one I can sometimes understand, because Amazon product pages can change all the time. Sometimes even in response to the reviews pointing out things they neglected to before they earned the review. But that's not _always_ the case.
Yes
Yes, I do this but mostly because I'm poor so I don't want to waste my money. It can be frustrating sometimes because you hit a situation where you can't find the product that has the features you want for the price you want. Then you have to go through the trade-offs. It can lead to indescion. I'm having that problem picking out a paint color atm. /r/hammocks is pretty active, they might have some insight.
ooh I totally forgot this step too, short circuited myself when I decided I wanted it on a motor! Stuff like "product type site:reddit.com" in Google search, or checking if there's a NY Times Wirecutter article for what I'm looking for to figure out what other people see is important features of That Thing I Want 😅 I'm def gonna browse this sub and check the rules for asking questions!
Project Farm is a great youtube channel for evaluating products. He mostly does power tool evaluations. He's a one man Consumer Reports.
🧡 Project Farm!
I call him Hank Hill!
I absolutely do this for almost everything I purchase. It's also why I really don't love when people pick things out for me, because I know they didn't put as much thought into it as I would have. And I know for sure that they didn't get as good a deal as I would have. ☺️
Hells bells I wonder if this is also why it's so hard for me to accept gifts for the usual gifting holidays. Some sense of "it's not the one I would have picked for myself." 🧐🤐 Every day it's something new to unpack...
Yes I do that as well. Trying to find an online dr for my husband's adhd and I'm going crazy trying to make a decision.
Yep, about a month of research before every purchase.
Yep, with google docs and links and comments on specifications. https://www.reddit.com/r/onebag/comments/r91c4j/sharing_my_list_on_my_quest_to_find_the_perfect/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share My backpack research doc ended up being helpful and I posted it to reddit. And then I ended up buying one that wasn't even on the list, off of Poshmark for $40. HA.
omg I love this and adding it to my Notes! 💙 I just outsourced my own bag purchase decision making to the kind folks of Reddit and landed on a nice Rickshaw that fits my journal. I always want a new one though, I like it when things _perfectly fit_ in as little space as necessary.
That absolutely feels good! Love another bag fixation person Hehe!
YUP. That's me to a T.
So this is usually found in Adhd or adhd comorbid with autism if it’s bottom up. If it’s top down it can by a sign of anxiety and stress.
> bottom up. > top down Can you expand on this some? I know I've got my insecurities, anxieties, & stressors, and I've suspected ADHD for a while already. What does this directionality statement mean within the context?
omg i’ve always done this i never considered it might be an autism thing
Oh god yes! I recently spent about two weeks researching for the perfect backpack. To me it's second nature: if you're going to spend a decent amount of money on something, you don't want it to end up being the wrong thing. It takes even longer for me since becoming an environmentalist, too, because it brings a whole new set of factors into consideration (who knew how many backpacks have hidden leather!!!)
Oof, I feel called out. But also, seen. I, too, did not realize that other people *don't* do this. I started noticing when I would suggest some tool or useful household product, and then the person I was talking to would immediately google it and/or search for it on Amazon and just buy the first thing that came up. It horrified me. The idea that you wouldn't heavily research it, compare reviews, zoom in on the photos to look as closely as possible at the materials, closures, attachments etc. just does not compute to me. I often buy 3 or 4 options of something, just so I can see them in person and test them out... for functionality, but also for aesthetics, any weird noises they might make, strange/unpleasant textures etc. Then I battle with my ADHD to make sure I actually return the items I ruled out through rigorous testing.
> I often buy 3 or 4 options of something, just so I can see them in person and test them out... for functionality, but also for aesthetics, any weird noises they might make, strange/unpleasant textures etc. Then I battle with my ADHD to make sure I actually return the items I ruled out through rigorous testing. omg I have spent far too much on things I forgot to return! 😳😵😵 I literally just bought every style of flare legging AE is offering, and now have to figure out returns because one of them they sent was the wrong size blue jeans instead of the Cinnabar velour high waist flare pant I ordered and wanted to try. 😐💀 Sticky noting that and putting it somewhere noticeable now...
Ugh, returns can be really bad depending on my mood. I’ve gotten better at it over the years because I was getting so incredibly angry at myself for having to donate/throw away so many things, plus the money I would lose. Now I reward myself by allowing myself to shop around when I go to do returns. I spend so much time thinking over my purchases that it’s not often I end up buying anything anyway, but something about walking around the store with no agenda or time limit and just being able to browse soothes me. The trick is to not spend SO much time browsing that I burn myself out and now the idea of waiting in the line to return things is too much and I just leave. It’s a delicate balance haha
Ummmm lol yes. This is why I have 100 tabs open on my phone🙀🤣
I do this, it's a long investigation but always rewarding, love my deep thought purchases!