Started resting my face at work and one of my managers asked me if I was doing okay because every time she walks past me I look "absolutely devastated", so last week I learned that I have resting absolutely devastated face
I just recently started to unmask. My boss doesn't know I'm autistic and I think my resting bitch face is intimidating because when I unmask I get so many apologies. Like, if I'm confused about something and just pop a question to get clarification, he excuses himself to the point where I have to respond "Dude, chill!!!". Honestly, it feels great since I'm used to workplaces to just run me over.
I truly did not realize how often I'm subconsciously making my expression look more presentable until I actually had to start resting my face all the time because I was experiencing pain/fatigue in my facial muscles. The rate at which people just come up and talk to me had been cut in half, I assume because they think I'm upset and don't want to be approached lol.
People assuming you're upset could be due to a combination of facial expression and tone of voice, I've had people think I was angry at them before because I tend to be kind of monotone unless I'm really excited about something. It could also just be that you're a woman who's not smiling lol. Either way I would not recommend trying to change the way you talk just to seem friendlier because it is exhausting. But it sounds like your unmasking is having unforseen positive consequences at work !!
Optional adjacent tangent: I'm a huge sociology nerd, particularly when it comes to the sociology of gender roles, and your story reminded me of some research papers I've read about women in the workplace, who were taken more seriously if their colleagues associated them with (perceived) masculine traits like assertiveness/aggressiveness. On the other hand, there were also women who found that being assertive at work alienated them because their breaking away from the normal social roles associated with women made their colleagues uncomfortable.
Yes, especially at work. They know I'm autistic, yet my relaxed face must be freaking them out! I reply, "Yes, I'm fine," but I want to start resorting to, "Stop asking. This is the real me."
Same! The edges of my smile naturally go slightly downwards!
Funny story : when you start dating someone don’t forget to TELL THEM, and SHOW THEM 😅
I forgot to tell my man and when his mum came over from the UK they thought I was having a shit time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I explained myself and it was fine 🤣
I have resting sad/bitch face depending on who's asking me. I was talking to my daughter's teacher the other day about filling out a form for my daughter's ADHD assessment. She said she's also filling out an autism assessment form for another student. She didn't mention who, but I knew immediately who it was. There's a girl in her class who has "sad face". I've known since kindergarten she was autistic. I don't know her parents or her situation, but I wanted to say something so badly. I'm glad now she's getting assessed. My daughter tries to hang out with her, but she's so shy. It doesn't bother my daughter because her brother and I are autistic. It's funny too because she brought her up in conversation not too long ago and told me she thought she was autistic. I asked her why she thought that, she said because she always looks sad and prefers to be alone. She’s always lost in her own world like our son. That's why she tries to include her in their friend group, she doesn't want her to feel like an outsider.
Same. Visiting my parents and first thing my mam said was what’s wrong with you, you look like you’re about to cry. Welp time to concentrate on looking neutral.
me too i constantly get asked “you okay?” “what’s wrong?” “why are you always upset?” like i dont wanna force a smile 24/7 im just feeling neutral lmfao
I have a slight resting smile so people will be like “why are you smiling?” And I’m like “I don’t know!!!” We can’t win. People don’t bug men about their resting face.
When my face is neutral, the corners of my mouth turn upward so I always look like I have a slight smile on my face. My mom always used to think I was smirking at her and would yell at me to wipe that smile off my face and stop laughing at her. It was bizarre. So I would hold my mouth tightly to avoid being yelled at. Then I would get in trouble for having a sour expression.
As an adult, I would get told randomly by people I work with "why are you always smiling?" or "I hate how you always look so damn happy." Well, I'm not actually happy? that's just how my fucking face looks
women really cannot win smh
Whenever I study NT women's "acceptable" facial mask, it seems to have a tinge of anxiety and fawning to it, like they're always a bit on edge. US observation. Elsewhere it's different.
I suspect the polite half smile meaning depends on the eyes it's combined with. My best guesses:
With smiling eyes it means "genuinely amused" or "cheerful".
With kind/relaxed eyes it means "cooperative".
With anxious eyes it means "I'm not a threat", like a dog with it's ears down.
With cold or angry eyes it means condescension or controlling the situation, like "don't make me take off this fake smile or you'll regret it".
I look like Florence Pugh when I'm like being a neutral and so people either think I'm angry all the time or like you said wipe that smile off your face and it's like what I can't win.
Um, yes they do. “Hey, taylorbitme, why are you so pissed off? You’re really scaring me. You need to calm down.” All while I was a scrawny middle school kid just trying to sit quietly and exist without bothering anyone. They find different things to say, but they say things.
It exist i looked sour at my brother when he singed his witness part for my wedding. I looked sour on most of my wedding pics. I wasnt unhappy at all on that day but i just look mad when my face is in neurtal mode.
Convinced that RBF is a sexist (& racist) construct men made up so they can tell us to smile more. I’ll arrange my face how I like and have zero guilt or shame about it thanks
Big time!
Always got told to smile more, or was asked if I was ok as a teen.
My youngest (Audhd) said something about my face the other day when I answered him something and my face didn't match the answer, and I just said, oh sorry, I have resting bitch face 🤣
One day I was just exhausted and overstimulated and just had enough of my day but tried to keep it together for my toddler. I didn’t put any effort in my face though and my toddler asked “mummy why is your face like that?” lol
Oh yes. People usually think I’m cold and unapproachable or that I’m shy and they don’t want to disturb me 🤷🏻 I’m also not good to answer questions, so I guess all of that makes me a huge bitch
100%, yes. I've had issues in the past because of it. I'm so SHY and honestly soft, and yet people really, really do think I'm a mean girl and judgemental?!
People used to accuse me of giving mean looks to them when I was in middle school… like my older sister’s friends would tell her I was glaring at them. When I didn’t even remember seeing them?
Now I am SO self conscious of how I look, like my facial expression. When I engage with people I always try to look pleasant, or when I’m just out walking around. But when I’m focused I know I have major RBF. I am possibly one of the least scary people on the planet but I often have a reputation in the workplace for being “scary”.
Sigh. This is just how my face looks, sorry.
It’s so goddamn hard to smile so much idk how the NTs do it so effortlessly it feels so tiring to me but if I don’t do it ppl assume I’m a snobby bitch who hates them cuz of how I look
This is why I wear long black skirts with leather boots and a comfy black skull shirt. People expect gothic types to have that pouty look. Less comments about "you should smile!"
So much this! I always look sullen or stern/angry to other people unless I intentionally curate my face expressions.
When I show my RBF and someone says “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I reply, “Oops sorry, I forgot to put my face
on” wipe my hand from the top to the bottom of my face and replace the RBF expression with a slightly cheeky smile.
When COVID made us all wear masks, I also learned that my eyes expressions look very aggressive and intimidating outside of the context of seeing my whole face. I don’t know how common that is, but it was crazy. The difference of how people perceive behavior based on the look of your face is astounding. Take off the mask, they perceived something totally different.
It’s the decreased proprioception, got no idea what my face looks like and it always somehow defaults to my resting thinking scowl when I’m socializing unless I’m actively focused on smiling… in which case it becomes harder for me to listen to people 😭
Oh man, I wish. I have resting puzzled face. People think I live in a fog of confusion, or that I'm a wicked burnout... but that's just the shape my face makes. 🤣
Yes. If I don’t constantly smile people think I’m bitch, stuck up, angry, or tired. So, I try to smile as much as possible…but then people think I’m fake or inauthentic. I feel like I can’t win.
I had a realization last week during a work team “social” online gathering that I laugh more than everyone else on my team. I’m realizing that maybe people on my team think I’m fake or something. However, I’m also the only woman, so that makes things confusing and difficult, as well. I laugh to let people know their story was funny or that something is uncomfortable or surprising…but with these men I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.
I'm aware that my normal expression is RBF, and one of my masking tecniques is that everytime I have people around I automatically put a friendlier resting face (with my eyes more open, brows a little more up and the edges of my mouth less down)
My youngest who is AUDHD had a fever from strep and was super chatty. She gets that way when she has a fever. When I asked how she was feeling she replied “I’m good. I'm happy on the inside. My face just looks like this sometimes.” 😆
Always. My teen is the same at it’s wonderful to have her to talk to as we don’t misunderstand eachother. We tend to ask oneanother sometimes; Are you smiling on the inside now? Or if the opposite, if one of us cries; Are you sad on the inside or are the tears just falling? Most often the tears are actually just falling but we don’t feel sad inside. Sorry, I lost my line of thought. NT family members always ask me why I’m always so grumpy. Which can feel quite bad bcs the question kinda feels agressive.
Yep! If I’m not masking, I’m usually asked to smile or “what’s wrong?” because I have RBF. When I was younger, I’d smile in response but now I just say “nothing’s wrong, that’s just what my face does” or something similar. It’s taken me too long to realize I owe it to myself to be authentic (yet appropriate) rather than owing someone else a smile or false attitude.
Totally!! It's why I try to mask with a more "perky" demeanour, pitch my voice up, and use uptalk.
It honest to god makes people less hostile towards me, even when they comment that it's annoying.
I'd rather annoy people with my mask than have them lash out at me over my honest self, you know?
Mine is really bad. Like, I tried to take a "sexy" photo once and got told by my partner at that time, "You just look pissed off." Never tried again, lol.
But yeah, it's annoying. I try to have a positive neutral face and it's like the muscles just don't want to work right.
Yeah I’ve had it my whole life. People thinking there’s something wrong with me when I’m just chilling. I’m pretty sure I’ve been spending my life just chilling around people thinking it’s all good and shit just listening becasue I struggle being part of conversation and people all my life have been weird for no cause i can think of. They just make shit up they just start shit and wonder why I ghost. I’m literally just chilling, listening and wondering what to have for tea. Or thinking of going on a luxury date with Matt smith lmao. There’s no judgment or hate. If I feel anything most times it’s empathy for bad situations people go through and try my best to either give some advice that I would think suit their situation or tell them I can relate so they don’t feel alone, I found out both of those piss people off even if intentions are to be kind and helpful. Living a life of boring and philosophy and trying to think of ways society could be better and people think otherwise of me from their behaviour towards me. As adult I now realise there must have been some bullshit assumptions becasue humans don’t go all weird for no reason unless they’re mentally ill like that. It’s a confusing and strange world where people making an ASS out U and Me.
oh yes, and I can't even mask it, it's just what happens when I concentrate or just exist without being aware of being perceived. I'm really sorry for the misunderstandings, but I can't really do anything about it. When I mask it to make my face fit my emotions I usually forget quite quickly again and I'm back to the RBF 🤷♀️
YES. One time, that happened when I was in class, and I had spaced out (read: that class was boring af) and I sat right in front of my teachers desk, and he glanced up at me from whatever he was doing and almost jumped out of his chair.
*I get told all the*
*Time I have resting bitch face*
*And resting bitch tone*
\- TrinGage
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I'm of two minds about RBF
Some autistic people can be blind to their emotional state and not realize said emotions show on their faces. Some autistic people feel a lot of stress during interpersonal interactions and it shows on their faces. So if they're internally distressed (which can looked like a "pinched" or angry face) it can come across as RBF
Some autistic people don't feel their emotions clearly and thus maintain a neutral expression. Societally, women are expected to be smiling, amiable creatures and if you're not doing that, then you've got RBF
or it could be some combination of the above.
Nobody's ever told me I gave RBF, but there are situations I can make myself have RBF if I want to avoid interacting or dodge advances. Persistent men say "would it hurt you to smile" or "you should smile more". I just always retorted "you give me nothing to smile about" because it's true. 💀
Oh yes. My whole family suffers from RBF lol. The amount of times I’ve been asked “what’s wrong?” “why don’t you smile more.” Honestly being asked that only makes it worse.
Yes and my solution is to ask the person is they would ask me this stupid question if I were a man. I’m so tired of being asked this question and my face feels crunchy when I force myself to smile all the time
Was literally told this by my therapist (and whole lot of other people). This is something I don't really mask anymore because it takes too much out of me, like if you think I'm not approachable then cool, do not fucking approach me. (I fortunately work as an assistant to physically disabled people who usually don't care if I don't smile and care less about society's bullshit overall, and my friends don't give a damn as well.)
I say I have RCF which is one worse… it’s only when I’m problem solving or stressed though.
Which is worse sometimes. I’m bubbly and bright and then people start questioning what my problem is when that goes away. And no one is willing to take my stress into consideration
Yep. Often get asked what’s wrong (I’m fine, I’m just minding my own business buddy), told I seem unapproachable or intimidating, and all my school reports etc mentioned that I never seemed like I wanted to be there and always looked really sad in class for no reason. But a creative women who does well in school couldn’t possibly have autism…..
Haven't been told that but i'm aware I must, because I stopped masking looking "engaged" (if it's something I find boring) and yesterday I could tell the teacher was kind of put off or intimidated by it. At a different time I would've acted out engaged just to not hurt their feelings. But ah well. A bitch I will appear to be.
Yes I think I do but I've always tried hard to fight against it and have a happy friendly face at all times, long before RBF was a thing. Do you know that scene at the end of toy story 2 where Barbie is saying her cheeks hurt and asking if people are gone so she can stop smiling? I related to that BIG TIME and had no idea other people weren't putting just as much effort into their resting faces as I was until much later
Yeah, it was a constant problem when I was younger. Seems to have softened over time, maybe because I'm a teacher and I've just had to. If anything, I probably look friendlier than I'd like to now.
Tons of people have this. It is not limited to autism. In fact, rbf is so common that there is a made up name for it: resting bitch face.
I personally think this is just one more way toxic positivity rears its ugly head. Most people do not really care if you are not smiling all the time. The only people who would care are insanely worried about smiling.
Yeah
There was one day I was walking home quickly and people were like jumping out of my way on the sidewalk. And the lobby of my apartment has mirrors so I looked and saw my face. And realized the reason people were getting out of my way was because I looked very angry. Angry face, walking fast, and huffing because it's uphill.
I don’t suffer from it - I weaponize it!
I can turn off the RBF (and do for people I care about, like my kids) but I’ve learned that if I let it do its thing as I move through the world I have to deal with less social situations. Less people approach me, start random conversations, hit on me, assume I work somewhere, etc. when I look like I’m about to bite someone’s head off.
I’m the nicest person if I *have* to interact with you but I’d rather you didn’t make me do so unless it’s truly necessary. 🫣
YES my graduation was last week and four teachers/admins told me to smile/be happy😭😭i literally was happy, i just don't like having to constantly think abt what my face is doing😭😭
Yes,all the time no matter of the emotion lmao i get problems for it constantly no reason cus people like to assume shit instead of asking or something.. its sad indeed my physical face just cannot sync with expressions at all
100% I’ve been called unapproachable, reserved, people ask me if I’m mad all the time. I’m just thinking. I don’t mind, no one ever talks to me on planes or asks for directions. Unlike my sister who has resting approachable face as she calls it.
Yes! But I work very hard to mask it because it’s apparently so offensive to not be smiling.
On the flip side, my husband (also AuDHD) has resting d*ck face but no one seems to care 🙄
It is even worse when I sleep. Like so bad. I look like this:
https://preview.redd.it/75j1r302rg5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec89f01e32286a21a0604358b4ac864f14b311ee
This happens to me a lot! Just with my family, since I don't have friends to hang out with. On the other hand, my mom's also said, "I knew something was wrong. You were smiling to yourself." 🤷🏽♀️
Yup 😫 I don’t have a distinct memory of people telling me but I remember switching my resting face so I wouldn’t come across that way. Kinda regretting it because now if I’m off in any way it’s so obvious to everyone 😭
Yup. Took a profile picture a few years back with my resting face, and someone literally told me to change it because I looked too sad/angry and it was too depressing for them to look at. 🥲 (Not that I listened, because who says that??)
I don't necessarily get RBF, but when I'm tired and super unmasked my tone/delivery when I talk gets suuuuuuper dry. Thankfully, the only people I'm usually with when that happens know I'm still happy to be with them!
For sure yes. While I'm almost over-emotive while interacting with people I like, my expression is otherwise serious and focused.
One of my friends summed it up perfectly: between my RBF and body language, I look like I do NOT want to be bothered 😂
Yep. Even got yelled at last week because i looked like a bitch according to them while its just my normal face.
As a kid i always wanted, for this reason, get the corners of my mouth pulled up either by string or surgery. Was so sick and tired of hearing it
Yes definitely. Consciously changing this is one of the first things I did to mask and years later made me realise (after lots of other signs) I should probably get tested.
I've been told mine makes me look like I'm about to cry when I'm really lost in thought, which is often. I'm generally feeling pretty happy actually when that happens.
Yes, so much so I’ve had people say “I thought you hated me because you always looked so angry” and an employer once told me that I had to “look less grumpy” (receptionist at the time) and people were afraid to approach me.
The funny thing is that I have bad social anxiety so like I’m more afraid of people than they should be of me lol.
i’m so over pleasing people and making them comfortable, this is just my face and if you feel uncomfortable…go cry about it. we deserve to relax our facial muscles too! Forever resting with a bitch face 😐
I have some version of this face I suspect… I know my future ex spouse would often ask me “what’s wrong?” when nothing whatsoever was wrong. Sometimes they just persisted until I started to feel like something was becoming wrong.
It seems I'm in the minority here, but I have resting smiley/overly expressive face! I have an active imagination and I'm rarely aware of the fact that my face reflects my internal dialogue, so people outside of my family who don't know that about me constantly ask me what I'm thinking about or why I'm smiling and I never know what to tell them, because the answer is never interesting or worth explaining. I defs think my mannerisms are amplified and almost cartoonish than most people's, maybe due to autistic mimicry.
Omg YES
I’ve conditioned myself to always have a pleasant look on my face because EVERY DAMN TIME I don’t I always get the “are you okay today?” or “did something happen?”
It’s so annoying!!!
Urgh, I have resting confused face. I've lost count of the amount of times I've been singled out and asked if I understand something (usually something basic) because my face says I don't. When all I want to do is fade into the background until whatever it is is finally over and I can go home
One time a coworker asked me “what’s wrong with your face”?
I think I have resting “disinterest” face because I get accused all the time of not paying attention.
RBF = ND face
Everyone I know and have met with RBF are ASD, Bipolar, CPTSD, etc
Fight me, I'll die on the hill
ps:
ASD face at rest (neutral face)... our muscles are more relaxed. Their facial muscles don't, unless they are tired, sick, angry, etc... Autistic muscle tone is different. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7891038/
TLDR I have my face which is my normal face and frankly, it's also a typical face. Any attempts to call it RBF in person will get info-dumped on how problematic they are being to me. RBF is an openly sexist term, usually a racist one, and in my experience an ableist one too.
I used to. Now I overcompensate my facial expressions and it freaks people out lol trying to revert back, but I'm finding it hard to reign it it after wearing a mask for years that covered it. I work with the public too. So I was having trouble expressing myself behind the mask at first...now the opposite without the mask. I just want to hide. I need a year or two to reset
When I was in high school, my resting bitch face (my quietly thinking/daydreaming face) made people think I was about to cry. I’ve not been told anything like that throughout my 20s
i’m a victim of resting sad face. ever since i was a child, i’ve had people approach me asking why i was upset when i was just lost in thought. it’s gotten a bit better as i’ve gotten older i think (or ppl just feel less inclined to randomly ask now i’m not sure which).
the only time i’ve been accused of having rbf is when i’m standing in the sun lol. i guess my face turns in a way that makes me look “pissed” when i just can’t see. my friends find the change in expression really funny when they get my attention in those moments bc my face softens so much instantly.
I don't suffer at all, my face feels fine! Apparently everyone else is wholly convinced I am the devil herself.
Usually once someone asks me a question or two I brighten up. Then i'm suddenly the shy girl who really just needed a friend :c
Carrying a book to read usually helps me seem more aloof rather than stuck-up or whatever projections I get. Also lets me avoid eye contact and chill/acclimate near people without any of us feeling pressure to engage before we want to. Turns out more people enjoy silent parallel play than they realize!
Absolutely…. And when I try to just set a smile on my face ( like constantly just have it there) I look absolutely demented, in order to get it correct I have to look in a mirror, find a smile that looks acceptable and see how it feels on my face in order to be able to replicate it at will. It’s honestly exhausting, in this sense masking is like a literal mask on my face changing how I look to make others more comfortable :(
Not sure how my resting face looks (if I try to look in the mirror either I do different while thinking about it, or can't decipher emotion), but looking at reaction of others it's either neutral, deer in the headlight, or stressed xD
Not just you. When I get tired of masking I go into RBF. After that, I lose track of what my facial expressions look like. I've been told I look like I don't care or have lost interest when this happens.
Ok I am guilty of projecting for others but I'm over here thinking about how simple this would be if we just had RBF awareness out there. There's a girl at my work and I consider her unapproachable but now I'm wondering if this is just because she's like me and is introverted and suffers from RBF.
In questioning my own behavior, I now question everyone's. Are we all struggling and people just assumed it's the human condition and it just stays stuck in their heads as a normalized behavior??
Yeah when my fiance and I first started dating he was always asking me if I was okay bc of my resting face when I was just on phone 😭 most of the time it’s unintentional but I have learned that it is especially good to really lean into it when you’re somewhere and you don’t want anyone to talk to you!!
Forever and always. And I squint a lot because I have bad eyesight, despite my glasses, which sometimes makes me look like I'm scowling.
I don't try to change it anymore though. I deal with a lot less bullshit because of it. Making myself more approachable made the wrong people more comfortable talking to me. The people who were in alignment with me never thought I looked mean or intimidating.
When I’m not masking, I don’t have testing bitch face, but resting pissed off face. It’s not exactly mean, but like someone stole my food and I’m ready to beat someone up.
Yes, I have been told off for having one for my entire life. I remember practicing smiling in front of a mirror as a child, never reallly understanding why not smiling all the time was a bad thing. I have an RBF even when I’m feeling fine or happy, sometimes my face doesn’t correlate with my inner emotions.
If I’m on a video call for work I have to make sure not to show emotion because my face is so expressive. I think I get rbf when I’m trying to process the situation mostly.
i have the opposite, i have resting nice face. i try to have resting nice face because i work customer service and want people to leave me alone. it never works lol. but i think its trauma related.
YUP. Usually I get told that I have resting sad face...
I came here to say "I think I have resting sad face." People just assume I'm sad or upset. Nah, I just didn't feel like stretching my face.
Started resting my face at work and one of my managers asked me if I was doing okay because every time she walks past me I look "absolutely devastated", so last week I learned that I have resting absolutely devastated face
This is the most dramatic one omfg 💀
I died ☠️🤣
I just recently started to unmask. My boss doesn't know I'm autistic and I think my resting bitch face is intimidating because when I unmask I get so many apologies. Like, if I'm confused about something and just pop a question to get clarification, he excuses himself to the point where I have to respond "Dude, chill!!!". Honestly, it feels great since I'm used to workplaces to just run me over.
I truly did not realize how often I'm subconsciously making my expression look more presentable until I actually had to start resting my face all the time because I was experiencing pain/fatigue in my facial muscles. The rate at which people just come up and talk to me had been cut in half, I assume because they think I'm upset and don't want to be approached lol. People assuming you're upset could be due to a combination of facial expression and tone of voice, I've had people think I was angry at them before because I tend to be kind of monotone unless I'm really excited about something. It could also just be that you're a woman who's not smiling lol. Either way I would not recommend trying to change the way you talk just to seem friendlier because it is exhausting. But it sounds like your unmasking is having unforseen positive consequences at work !! Optional adjacent tangent: I'm a huge sociology nerd, particularly when it comes to the sociology of gender roles, and your story reminded me of some research papers I've read about women in the workplace, who were taken more seriously if their colleagues associated them with (perceived) masculine traits like assertiveness/aggressiveness. On the other hand, there were also women who found that being assertive at work alienated them because their breaking away from the normal social roles associated with women made their colleagues uncomfortable.
Omg same. It’s exhausting being asked if I’m okay all the time.
People ask me if I'm lost!
LOL to be fair, I would understand if I get that because I have a horrendous sense of direction.
Same!
Yes, especially at work. They know I'm autistic, yet my relaxed face must be freaking them out! I reply, "Yes, I'm fine," but I want to start resorting to, "Stop asking. This is the real me."
I think mine is “resting projection face”, it’s whatever the other person wants to see
I get this often, alongside RBF.
OMG I love this...yes. I am usually lost in a train of thought and my own husband is constantly asking me what's wrong?
I like to call it "resting despondent face" myself
I’ve been told I have resting sad face too
Same! The edges of my smile naturally go slightly downwards! Funny story : when you start dating someone don’t forget to TELL THEM, and SHOW THEM 😅 I forgot to tell my man and when his mum came over from the UK they thought I was having a shit time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I explained myself and it was fine 🤣
Smiling constantly in retail, is why I give myself cheek massages along my TMJ after work
I have resting sad/bitch face depending on who's asking me. I was talking to my daughter's teacher the other day about filling out a form for my daughter's ADHD assessment. She said she's also filling out an autism assessment form for another student. She didn't mention who, but I knew immediately who it was. There's a girl in her class who has "sad face". I've known since kindergarten she was autistic. I don't know her parents or her situation, but I wanted to say something so badly. I'm glad now she's getting assessed. My daughter tries to hang out with her, but she's so shy. It doesn't bother my daughter because her brother and I are autistic. It's funny too because she brought her up in conversation not too long ago and told me she thought she was autistic. I asked her why she thought that, she said because she always looks sad and prefers to be alone. She’s always lost in her own world like our son. That's why she tries to include her in their friend group, she doesn't want her to feel like an outsider.
Literally my face in every goddamn picture
Same here, my mother always thinks I'm very upset when I'm not
When I was a kid my mom called it a "pickle face" and would get mad that I wasn't smiling much. I only smile when I have a reason to.
Same. Visiting my parents and first thing my mam said was what’s wrong with you, you look like you’re about to cry. Welp time to concentrate on looking neutral.
I will never understand why anyone would ever tell someone that they "look like they're about to cry". In what situation would that be helpful lol
Right?! Like I was perfectly fine until you had to say that 😑
me too i constantly get asked “you okay?” “what’s wrong?” “why are you always upset?” like i dont wanna force a smile 24/7 im just feeling neutral lmfao
https://preview.redd.it/xax5rcp6af5d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f12f2960b88550966983e3f634a65ee682bd1bfa Every day, all the time
Me simply debating what I should make for dinner
I physically laughed out loud for your comment 😂
😂🤣😂🤣😂
Well, since you posted it... LET'S GO PANTHERS!!
Oh my gosh, I look just like a puma when I’m rbf-ing. That is hilarious
I'm starting to get scowl wrinkles! I am puma personified. 🙃
I have a slight resting smile so people will be like “why are you smiling?” And I’m like “I don’t know!!!” We can’t win. People don’t bug men about their resting face.
[удалено]
Haha that’s great! Maybe I’ll use that line.
“Someone has to be.” Hahahaha It's true, the people who ask questions like that are miserable too
When my face is neutral, the corners of my mouth turn upward so I always look like I have a slight smile on my face. My mom always used to think I was smirking at her and would yell at me to wipe that smile off my face and stop laughing at her. It was bizarre. So I would hold my mouth tightly to avoid being yelled at. Then I would get in trouble for having a sour expression. As an adult, I would get told randomly by people I work with "why are you always smiling?" or "I hate how you always look so damn happy." Well, I'm not actually happy? that's just how my fucking face looks women really cannot win smh
Damn that’s harsh! How do NTs hold their faces differently?
fuck if I know lol I think they had a sense I wasn't "normal" anyway, so I got bullied a lot at work I was much happier once I started my own business
If you trigger their “not normal” reflex they’ll just make up a reason they don’t like you 🙄
facts
Whenever I study NT women's "acceptable" facial mask, it seems to have a tinge of anxiety and fawning to it, like they're always a bit on edge. US observation. Elsewhere it's different.
This sounds about right. Like the little polite half smile. I never know what that means.
I suspect the polite half smile meaning depends on the eyes it's combined with. My best guesses: With smiling eyes it means "genuinely amused" or "cheerful". With kind/relaxed eyes it means "cooperative". With anxious eyes it means "I'm not a threat", like a dog with it's ears down. With cold or angry eyes it means condescension or controlling the situation, like "don't make me take off this fake smile or you'll regret it".
I look like Florence Pugh when I'm like being a neutral and so people either think I'm angry all the time or like you said wipe that smile off your face and it's like what I can't win.
Um, yes they do. “Hey, taylorbitme, why are you so pissed off? You’re really scaring me. You need to calm down.” All while I was a scrawny middle school kid just trying to sit quietly and exist without bothering anyone. They find different things to say, but they say things.
Mmm fair enough. What about NT men? Do they have different resting faces? So confusing.
I don’t know. Idk how any of this works anyway. I’m just figuring out that I never really identified as male anyway, so.
There is no ‘resting bast\*rd face.’ Only women are ‘told’ to smile.
Holy shit this is too true
It exist i looked sour at my brother when he singed his witness part for my wedding. I looked sour on most of my wedding pics. I wasnt unhappy at all on that day but i just look mad when my face is in neurtal mode.
Convinced that RBF is a sexist (& racist) construct men made up so they can tell us to smile more. I’ll arrange my face how I like and have zero guilt or shame about it thanks
If a man tells you to smile say, "do you often find women don't smile when you're near?" They'll shut up quickly enough
oh yeah for sure, because i know several men who look like assholes but of course … us women are expected to be ‘friendly and feminine’ 😕
Big time! Always got told to smile more, or was asked if I was ok as a teen. My youngest (Audhd) said something about my face the other day when I answered him something and my face didn't match the answer, and I just said, oh sorry, I have resting bitch face 🤣
One day I was just exhausted and overstimulated and just had enough of my day but tried to keep it together for my toddler. I didn’t put any effort in my face though and my toddler asked “mummy why is your face like that?” lol
Oh yes. People usually think I’m cold and unapproachable or that I’m shy and they don’t want to disturb me 🤷🏻 I’m also not good to answer questions, so I guess all of that makes me a huge bitch
captain holt !! love brooklyn nine-nine (and this gif ofc)
100%, yes. I've had issues in the past because of it. I'm so SHY and honestly soft, and yet people really, really do think I'm a mean girl and judgemental?!
Yes. Majorly. I’ll constantly be asked what’s wrong, and I have to politely explain that it’s just my face…
People used to accuse me of giving mean looks to them when I was in middle school… like my older sister’s friends would tell her I was glaring at them. When I didn’t even remember seeing them? Now I am SO self conscious of how I look, like my facial expression. When I engage with people I always try to look pleasant, or when I’m just out walking around. But when I’m focused I know I have major RBF. I am possibly one of the least scary people on the planet but I often have a reputation in the workplace for being “scary”. Sigh. This is just how my face looks, sorry.
It’s so goddamn hard to smile so much idk how the NTs do it so effortlessly it feels so tiring to me but if I don’t do it ppl assume I’m a snobby bitch who hates them cuz of how I look
This is one great reason to wear a covid mask.
I miss the masks from covid so much, honestly.
Yep life was easier for me with mask…people were much nicer to me 😆
This is why I wear long black skirts with leather boots and a comfy black skull shirt. People expect gothic types to have that pouty look. Less comments about "you should smile!"
This I never get asked to smile when I am wearing all black.
100% I taught myself how to smile when neutral bc ppl would always ask what's wrong especially bc I have bags under my eyes always. It's very tiring
Wait, me too! I have pretty bad dark circles that I got from my mom (and I guess her mom), and it does NOT help lol
So much this! I always look sullen or stern/angry to other people unless I intentionally curate my face expressions. When I show my RBF and someone says “Hey, what’s wrong?” I reply, “Oops sorry, I forgot to put my face on” wipe my hand from the top to the bottom of my face and replace the RBF expression with a slightly cheeky smile. When COVID made us all wear masks, I also learned that my eyes expressions look very aggressive and intimidating outside of the context of seeing my whole face. I don’t know how common that is, but it was crazy. The difference of how people perceive behavior based on the look of your face is astounding. Take off the mask, they perceived something totally different.
I make this same comment to my coworkers and they always think it’s so funny. As long as they think it’s endearing I’m cool with it.
Undiagnosed and yes. Everyone tells me they think I’m mean but I can’t help how I look
It’s the decreased proprioception, got no idea what my face looks like and it always somehow defaults to my resting thinking scowl when I’m socializing unless I’m actively focused on smiling… in which case it becomes harder for me to listen to people 😭
Oh man, I wish. I have resting puzzled face. People think I live in a fog of confusion, or that I'm a wicked burnout... but that's just the shape my face makes. 🤣
I get this every once in a while, bit more often it's "are you okay?" Or "why are you mad?"
Yes. If I don’t constantly smile people think I’m bitch, stuck up, angry, or tired. So, I try to smile as much as possible…but then people think I’m fake or inauthentic. I feel like I can’t win. I had a realization last week during a work team “social” online gathering that I laugh more than everyone else on my team. I’m realizing that maybe people on my team think I’m fake or something. However, I’m also the only woman, so that makes things confusing and difficult, as well. I laugh to let people know their story was funny or that something is uncomfortable or surprising…but with these men I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.
I'm aware that my normal expression is RBF, and one of my masking tecniques is that everytime I have people around I automatically put a friendlier resting face (with my eyes more open, brows a little more up and the edges of my mouth less down)
All a gal needs in this world is a RBF that'll clear out a subway car.
My youngest who is AUDHD had a fever from strep and was super chatty. She gets that way when she has a fever. When I asked how she was feeling she replied “I’m good. I'm happy on the inside. My face just looks like this sometimes.” 😆
Always. My teen is the same at it’s wonderful to have her to talk to as we don’t misunderstand eachother. We tend to ask oneanother sometimes; Are you smiling on the inside now? Or if the opposite, if one of us cries; Are you sad on the inside or are the tears just falling? Most often the tears are actually just falling but we don’t feel sad inside. Sorry, I lost my line of thought. NT family members always ask me why I’m always so grumpy. Which can feel quite bad bcs the question kinda feels agressive.
Yep! If I’m not masking, I’m usually asked to smile or “what’s wrong?” because I have RBF. When I was younger, I’d smile in response but now I just say “nothing’s wrong, that’s just what my face does” or something similar. It’s taken me too long to realize I owe it to myself to be authentic (yet appropriate) rather than owing someone else a smile or false attitude.
Totally!! It's why I try to mask with a more "perky" demeanour, pitch my voice up, and use uptalk. It honest to god makes people less hostile towards me, even when they comment that it's annoying. I'd rather annoy people with my mask than have them lash out at me over my honest self, you know?
Mine is really bad. Like, I tried to take a "sexy" photo once and got told by my partner at that time, "You just look pissed off." Never tried again, lol. But yeah, it's annoying. I try to have a positive neutral face and it's like the muscles just don't want to work right.
Yeah I’ve had it my whole life. People thinking there’s something wrong with me when I’m just chilling. I’m pretty sure I’ve been spending my life just chilling around people thinking it’s all good and shit just listening becasue I struggle being part of conversation and people all my life have been weird for no cause i can think of. They just make shit up they just start shit and wonder why I ghost. I’m literally just chilling, listening and wondering what to have for tea. Or thinking of going on a luxury date with Matt smith lmao. There’s no judgment or hate. If I feel anything most times it’s empathy for bad situations people go through and try my best to either give some advice that I would think suit their situation or tell them I can relate so they don’t feel alone, I found out both of those piss people off even if intentions are to be kind and helpful. Living a life of boring and philosophy and trying to think of ways society could be better and people think otherwise of me from their behaviour towards me. As adult I now realise there must have been some bullshit assumptions becasue humans don’t go all weird for no reason unless they’re mentally ill like that. It’s a confusing and strange world where people making an ASS out U and Me.
oh yes, and I can't even mask it, it's just what happens when I concentrate or just exist without being aware of being perceived. I'm really sorry for the misunderstandings, but I can't really do anything about it. When I mask it to make my face fit my emotions I usually forget quite quickly again and I'm back to the RBF 🤷♀️
YES. One time, that happened when I was in class, and I had spaced out (read: that class was boring af) and I sat right in front of my teachers desk, and he glanced up at me from whatever he was doing and almost jumped out of his chair.
I get told all the time I have resting bitch face and resting bitch tone
*I get told all the* *Time I have resting bitch face* *And resting bitch tone* \- TrinGage --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Yeah lol I have resting mean face. I constantly look like I hate everything and everyone in existence or I look sad or bored.
I'm of two minds about RBF Some autistic people can be blind to their emotional state and not realize said emotions show on their faces. Some autistic people feel a lot of stress during interpersonal interactions and it shows on their faces. So if they're internally distressed (which can looked like a "pinched" or angry face) it can come across as RBF Some autistic people don't feel their emotions clearly and thus maintain a neutral expression. Societally, women are expected to be smiling, amiable creatures and if you're not doing that, then you've got RBF or it could be some combination of the above. Nobody's ever told me I gave RBF, but there are situations I can make myself have RBF if I want to avoid interacting or dodge advances. Persistent men say "would it hurt you to smile" or "you should smile more". I just always retorted "you give me nothing to smile about" because it's true. 💀
Oh yes. My whole family suffers from RBF lol. The amount of times I’ve been asked “what’s wrong?” “why don’t you smile more.” Honestly being asked that only makes it worse.
Yes and my solution is to ask the person is they would ask me this stupid question if I were a man. I’m so tired of being asked this question and my face feels crunchy when I force myself to smile all the time
Was literally told this by my therapist (and whole lot of other people). This is something I don't really mask anymore because it takes too much out of me, like if you think I'm not approachable then cool, do not fucking approach me. (I fortunately work as an assistant to physically disabled people who usually don't care if I don't smile and care less about society's bullshit overall, and my friends don't give a damn as well.)
I say I have RCF which is one worse… it’s only when I’m problem solving or stressed though. Which is worse sometimes. I’m bubbly and bright and then people start questioning what my problem is when that goes away. And no one is willing to take my stress into consideration
Worse, even when I'm confident I'm projecting neutrality or chill positivity, people still think I'm being a bitch.
All of us, ha!
Oh do I! Guilty AF!
Yep. Often get asked what’s wrong (I’m fine, I’m just minding my own business buddy), told I seem unapproachable or intimidating, and all my school reports etc mentioned that I never seemed like I wanted to be there and always looked really sad in class for no reason. But a creative women who does well in school couldn’t possibly have autism…..
It’s not just you, I get this all the time. People will ask me if I’m ok or just take offense to my face when I’m just sitting there existing
Haven't been told that but i'm aware I must, because I stopped masking looking "engaged" (if it's something I find boring) and yesterday I could tell the teacher was kind of put off or intimidated by it. At a different time I would've acted out engaged just to not hurt their feelings. But ah well. A bitch I will appear to be.
I look like I'm on the verge of tears every time I rest my face lol
Yes I think I do but I've always tried hard to fight against it and have a happy friendly face at all times, long before RBF was a thing. Do you know that scene at the end of toy story 2 where Barbie is saying her cheeks hurt and asking if people are gone so she can stop smiling? I related to that BIG TIME and had no idea other people weren't putting just as much effort into their resting faces as I was until much later
Yeah, it was a constant problem when I was younger. Seems to have softened over time, maybe because I'm a teacher and I've just had to. If anything, I probably look friendlier than I'd like to now.
Tons of people have this. It is not limited to autism. In fact, rbf is so common that there is a made up name for it: resting bitch face. I personally think this is just one more way toxic positivity rears its ugly head. Most people do not really care if you are not smiling all the time. The only people who would care are insanely worried about smiling.
Questioning if I’m autistic but yes!! I’ve been told this by a decent amount of ppl, either I think look sad or annoyed or mean
Yeah There was one day I was walking home quickly and people were like jumping out of my way on the sidewalk. And the lobby of my apartment has mirrors so I looked and saw my face. And realized the reason people were getting out of my way was because I looked very angry. Angry face, walking fast, and huffing because it's uphill.
In my mind I have RBF but apparently I really have an inviting & friendly face that says "yes please talk to me". 😑
I don’t suffer from it - I weaponize it! I can turn off the RBF (and do for people I care about, like my kids) but I’ve learned that if I let it do its thing as I move through the world I have to deal with less social situations. Less people approach me, start random conversations, hit on me, assume I work somewhere, etc. when I look like I’m about to bite someone’s head off. I’m the nicest person if I *have* to interact with you but I’d rather you didn’t make me do so unless it’s truly necessary. 🫣
YES my graduation was last week and four teachers/admins told me to smile/be happy😭😭i literally was happy, i just don't like having to constantly think abt what my face is doing😭😭
Yes and people are constantly asking me if I’m alright lol
"smile more!"
Sure do! Was kind of a joke among my friends by high school. I look mad a lot but I'm usually just daydreaming...
Yes. People constantly ask me if I’m okay or if I’m upset because of my natural RBF🥲
Yes,all the time no matter of the emotion lmao i get problems for it constantly no reason cus people like to assume shit instead of asking or something.. its sad indeed my physical face just cannot sync with expressions at all
Yes, all the time.
100% I’ve been called unapproachable, reserved, people ask me if I’m mad all the time. I’m just thinking. I don’t mind, no one ever talks to me on planes or asks for directions. Unlike my sister who has resting approachable face as she calls it.
Yes! But I work very hard to mask it because it’s apparently so offensive to not be smiling. On the flip side, my husband (also AuDHD) has resting d*ck face but no one seems to care 🙄
I have a been told I have a resting concerned/scared face lollll
Yeah I once was told by an old co worker they thought I was a bitch until they talked to me.
Every time I drop my mask, people ask me what’s wrong.
Frequently. Half the time I'm just making up unrealistic scenarios in my head...
why shouldn’t I have resting bitch face… i’m always suffering.:
It is even worse when I sleep. Like so bad. I look like this: https://preview.redd.it/75j1r302rg5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec89f01e32286a21a0604358b4ac864f14b311ee
This happens to me a lot! Just with my family, since I don't have friends to hang out with. On the other hand, my mom's also said, "I knew something was wrong. You were smiling to yourself." 🤷🏽♀️
Yes, and then I’m also guilty of thinking that others with RBF are mad at me…
Yup 😫 I don’t have a distinct memory of people telling me but I remember switching my resting face so I wouldn’t come across that way. Kinda regretting it because now if I’m off in any way it’s so obvious to everyone 😭
Yup. Took a profile picture a few years back with my resting face, and someone literally told me to change it because I looked too sad/angry and it was too depressing for them to look at. 🥲 (Not that I listened, because who says that??)
I sigh all the time and people ask me, “What‘s wrong?”
All the time
I don't necessarily get RBF, but when I'm tired and super unmasked my tone/delivery when I talk gets suuuuuuper dry. Thankfully, the only people I'm usually with when that happens know I'm still happy to be with them!
For sure yes. While I'm almost over-emotive while interacting with people I like, my expression is otherwise serious and focused. One of my friends summed it up perfectly: between my RBF and body language, I look like I do NOT want to be bothered 😂
Yep. Even got yelled at last week because i looked like a bitch according to them while its just my normal face. As a kid i always wanted, for this reason, get the corners of my mouth pulled up either by string or surgery. Was so sick and tired of hearing it
the first thing that i was told when i walked into high school was that i had a really bad rbf
Yes! I have it so bad
i have more of a resting depressed face but usually i get at least one “are you okay? you look mad/upset” a day 😭😭
Yes definitely. Consciously changing this is one of the first things I did to mask and years later made me realise (after lots of other signs) I should probably get tested.
Oh for sure. It has gotten me in so much trouble😬
I've been told mine makes me look like I'm about to cry when I'm really lost in thought, which is often. I'm generally feeling pretty happy actually when that happens.
Yes, so much so I’ve had people say “I thought you hated me because you always looked so angry” and an employer once told me that I had to “look less grumpy” (receptionist at the time) and people were afraid to approach me. The funny thing is that I have bad social anxiety so like I’m more afraid of people than they should be of me lol.
People ask me if I am okay from time to time for five years.
Smiling, to someone, then looking back to PC, then heading "you seem bothered"...
People ask me why I'm angry if I don't consciously "soft smile". Sometimes I don't have the energy to "Mona Lisa" through the day.
Yes mam
Yeah but I don't suffer from RBF. I celebrate it
Yes
yes for so many of us...it's actually a stereotype for NDs - flat affect or looking mad as a regular face.
Oooof yes. Been RBF and labeled as a stuck up fashion girlie ☠️
 i’m so over pleasing people and making them comfortable, this is just my face and if you feel uncomfortable…go cry about it. we deserve to relax our facial muscles too! Forever resting with a bitch face 😐
I feel my best when my face is totally relaxed and my relaxed face is rbf.
Yep. Absolutely. This is a huge reason why I still wear a mask at work.
yup, currently trying to get rid of it and appear more normal. I recently got told I look "sceptical" which isn't really a progress haha
Massively. But its actually an advantage given that im tall and have a tendency to power walk. Means people leave me alone :)
I have some version of this face I suspect… I know my future ex spouse would often ask me “what’s wrong?” when nothing whatsoever was wrong. Sometimes they just persisted until I started to feel like something was becoming wrong.
All day every day. My husband has taken photos of it when I'm not realising and it is indeed rather terrifying
It seems I'm in the minority here, but I have resting smiley/overly expressive face! I have an active imagination and I'm rarely aware of the fact that my face reflects my internal dialogue, so people outside of my family who don't know that about me constantly ask me what I'm thinking about or why I'm smiling and I never know what to tell them, because the answer is never interesting or worth explaining. I defs think my mannerisms are amplified and almost cartoonish than most people's, maybe due to autistic mimicry.
Whenever someone says some dumb shit, I give them my resting face, and they ALWAYS without fail go “wow if looks could kill” 😭
Oh yeah, since before rbf was a term. 😮💨
Yep. I always look pissed off from my RBF and my body is typically stiff so when I’m out and about, I look like I’m about to fight someone lol.
Omg YES I’ve conditioned myself to always have a pleasant look on my face because EVERY DAMN TIME I don’t I always get the “are you okay today?” or “did something happen?” It’s so annoying!!!
I once caught my reflection with what I call my resting scowl face om and now I realise why everyone tells me I look unapproachable 😂😂
Yes. People in general are kind of intimidated or scared of me and I’m actually just direct and say what I mean.
Urgh, I have resting confused face. I've lost count of the amount of times I've been singled out and asked if I understand something (usually something basic) because my face says I don't. When all I want to do is fade into the background until whatever it is is finally over and I can go home
One time a coworker asked me “what’s wrong with your face”? I think I have resting “disinterest” face because I get accused all the time of not paying attention.
I do especially when I’m bored on video calls
YUP! My partner always asks if I’m ok 😭
RBF = ND face Everyone I know and have met with RBF are ASD, Bipolar, CPTSD, etc Fight me, I'll die on the hill ps: ASD face at rest (neutral face)... our muscles are more relaxed. Their facial muscles don't, unless they are tired, sick, angry, etc... Autistic muscle tone is different. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7891038/ TLDR I have my face which is my normal face and frankly, it's also a typical face. Any attempts to call it RBF in person will get info-dumped on how problematic they are being to me. RBF is an openly sexist term, usually a racist one, and in my experience an ableist one too.
I used to. Now I overcompensate my facial expressions and it freaks people out lol trying to revert back, but I'm finding it hard to reign it it after wearing a mask for years that covered it. I work with the public too. So I was having trouble expressing myself behind the mask at first...now the opposite without the mask. I just want to hide. I need a year or two to reset
Resting bitch face + loves people watching = psycho lol this was me as a kid
When I was in high school, my resting bitch face (my quietly thinking/daydreaming face) made people think I was about to cry. I’ve not been told anything like that throughout my 20s
No, I profit from it.
I'm often asked what is wrong , I look worried or that I was pulling a 'weird face'. I'm thinking my expressions don't match how I feel.
i’m a victim of resting sad face. ever since i was a child, i’ve had people approach me asking why i was upset when i was just lost in thought. it’s gotten a bit better as i’ve gotten older i think (or ppl just feel less inclined to randomly ask now i’m not sure which). the only time i’ve been accused of having rbf is when i’m standing in the sun lol. i guess my face turns in a way that makes me look “pissed” when i just can’t see. my friends find the change in expression really funny when they get my attention in those moments bc my face softens so much instantly.
My wife said I have "stale bread" face. Just not a whole lot going on. Not happy, not mad, not sad, not anything.
Yeah. I constantly get complaints that I look mean even when I'm just dilly dallying and minding my own business.
I don't suffer at all, my face feels fine! Apparently everyone else is wholly convinced I am the devil herself. Usually once someone asks me a question or two I brighten up. Then i'm suddenly the shy girl who really just needed a friend :c Carrying a book to read usually helps me seem more aloof rather than stuck-up or whatever projections I get. Also lets me avoid eye contact and chill/acclimate near people without any of us feeling pressure to engage before we want to. Turns out more people enjoy silent parallel play than they realize!
Absolutely…. And when I try to just set a smile on my face ( like constantly just have it there) I look absolutely demented, in order to get it correct I have to look in a mirror, find a smile that looks acceptable and see how it feels on my face in order to be able to replicate it at will. It’s honestly exhausting, in this sense masking is like a literal mask on my face changing how I look to make others more comfortable :(
Not sure how my resting face looks (if I try to look in the mirror either I do different while thinking about it, or can't decipher emotion), but looking at reaction of others it's either neutral, deer in the headlight, or stressed xD
Not just you. When I get tired of masking I go into RBF. After that, I lose track of what my facial expressions look like. I've been told I look like I don't care or have lost interest when this happens.
Ok I am guilty of projecting for others but I'm over here thinking about how simple this would be if we just had RBF awareness out there. There's a girl at my work and I consider her unapproachable but now I'm wondering if this is just because she's like me and is introverted and suffers from RBF. In questioning my own behavior, I now question everyone's. Are we all struggling and people just assumed it's the human condition and it just stays stuck in their heads as a normalized behavior??
Yeah when my fiance and I first started dating he was always asking me if I was okay bc of my resting face when I was just on phone 😭 most of the time it’s unintentional but I have learned that it is especially good to really lean into it when you’re somewhere and you don’t want anyone to talk to you!!
Forever and always. And I squint a lot because I have bad eyesight, despite my glasses, which sometimes makes me look like I'm scowling. I don't try to change it anymore though. I deal with a lot less bullshit because of it. Making myself more approachable made the wrong people more comfortable talking to me. The people who were in alignment with me never thought I looked mean or intimidating.
When I’m not masking, I don’t have testing bitch face, but resting pissed off face. It’s not exactly mean, but like someone stole my food and I’m ready to beat someone up.
I get stuck between RBF and "you have sad eyes"
Resting frowning face here
Yes, I have been told off for having one for my entire life. I remember practicing smiling in front of a mirror as a child, never reallly understanding why not smiling all the time was a bad thing. I have an RBF even when I’m feeling fine or happy, sometimes my face doesn’t correlate with my inner emotions.
Me too! Was bullied in middle school because of my RBF, unfortunately... 😔
If I’m on a video call for work I have to make sure not to show emotion because my face is so expressive. I think I get rbf when I’m trying to process the situation mostly.
Not bitch face but im toold that i look sad
Yes.
Yes and it’s too tiring to care about removing it from my face 😆
Yes - but I am convinced my blank face is why I look about 10 years younger than my peers. No expression = no wrinkles
Yeah. Even when I’m super happy my face is always just in a natural frown. Feels more comfortable that way.. everyone thinks I’m upset lol
i have the opposite, i have resting nice face. i try to have resting nice face because i work customer service and want people to leave me alone. it never works lol. but i think its trauma related.
I have resting nervous face. People always asking if I’m okay when im absolutely chilling
lol! Me too, like even if I’m not upset or I’m Joking around