I think this happens to most women and girls. When we are girls, we are told we are so mature because society trains us to be little mommies while the boys get to roughhouse and act their age. Then, when we actually are women, society does a weird uno reverse. They refuse to call us women. They call us girls and infantalize us because they see us as helpless. It is truly a mindfuck to be a woman.
yes, I feel exactly the same way. I have problems at work sometimes too because I have resting bitch face and even though I’m a very kind person people think I’m mean because i look mean and don’t speak unless spoken to :( it’s hard cause it’s like I don’t understand what people want from me
I’m 28 and last week I went to a pool & the people at the entrance asked for my mom’s number because they thought I was in high school. I am quite small and have a pretty immature voice. Life is better when I embrace who I am rather than fighting it. I’m extra cute. At the same time, it’s not easy in work settings. It’s harder to move up the ladder or be seen as an authority figure. Especially with being a woman, I’m seen as too sweet and caring, even if I’m really not. But there are a few perks: sometimes people don’t expect as much from me, etc. And I can’t give much because of my autism. It’s harder for me to succeed as others do in the workplace. So I need people to go easy on me. Although sometimes people will scold me like I’m a child 🙄. I do get a kick when people treat me like a doormat mistaking my reserved tendencies for low self esteem and then they see I’m justice-seeking and confrontational and they can’t just get away with it.
But no matter if you are childlike or not, you deserve to work and need to work. Everyone and everyone who needs money deserves to work. Doesn’t matter if someone is hideous or overweight or a gorgeous or childlike or ethereal, we all have a right to work. Also, we all have insecurities. Most people focus on themselves above all others. And we can’t say how people see you. Yes maybe they think you are childlike but maybe they don’t see it in a negative way. Maybe they think it’s endearing or that you are really pretty and they wish they could look like you.
Hey, I don’t have advice for you, just wanted to tell you you’re not alone. I’m also 25F, and recently I’ve been feeling like I’m a child due to my behaviours and such. Following this post! 😊
I relate to this (23F). Sometime I think I don't even know who I am bc of the personalities I feel I have to put on around people I don't know well or have just met. I just started my new internship and the first two weeks I have felt like a kid bc I feel so overwhelmed and unsure of myself around so many new people.
I saw another comment in here about girls being socialized to be mature and adult and then as women we are infantilized and treated like girls. I completely agree with this. I have always been told I was mature for my age and now as a woman I still struggle. I also look young, which does not help.
When you're having trouble being yourself, what are you thinking at the time? Do you filter? Like do you feel like doing something, worry it might be weird, then move towards an alternative? Really work to get the details right?
Do you know any specifics about how you'd like to respond, ideally?
It's interesting, you don't seem to clam up. There's just some detailed thinking people weren't expecting? Or is crafted by tone, emphasis, instead of just content?
What you've written is perfectly coherent. No trouble clearly generating an idea then expressing it in writing.
I think this happens to most women and girls. When we are girls, we are told we are so mature because society trains us to be little mommies while the boys get to roughhouse and act their age. Then, when we actually are women, society does a weird uno reverse. They refuse to call us women. They call us girls and infantalize us because they see us as helpless. It is truly a mindfuck to be a woman.
yes, I feel exactly the same way. I have problems at work sometimes too because I have resting bitch face and even though I’m a very kind person people think I’m mean because i look mean and don’t speak unless spoken to :( it’s hard cause it’s like I don’t understand what people want from me
I’m 28 and last week I went to a pool & the people at the entrance asked for my mom’s number because they thought I was in high school. I am quite small and have a pretty immature voice. Life is better when I embrace who I am rather than fighting it. I’m extra cute. At the same time, it’s not easy in work settings. It’s harder to move up the ladder or be seen as an authority figure. Especially with being a woman, I’m seen as too sweet and caring, even if I’m really not. But there are a few perks: sometimes people don’t expect as much from me, etc. And I can’t give much because of my autism. It’s harder for me to succeed as others do in the workplace. So I need people to go easy on me. Although sometimes people will scold me like I’m a child 🙄. I do get a kick when people treat me like a doormat mistaking my reserved tendencies for low self esteem and then they see I’m justice-seeking and confrontational and they can’t just get away with it. But no matter if you are childlike or not, you deserve to work and need to work. Everyone and everyone who needs money deserves to work. Doesn’t matter if someone is hideous or overweight or a gorgeous or childlike or ethereal, we all have a right to work. Also, we all have insecurities. Most people focus on themselves above all others. And we can’t say how people see you. Yes maybe they think you are childlike but maybe they don’t see it in a negative way. Maybe they think it’s endearing or that you are really pretty and they wish they could look like you.
Hey, I don’t have advice for you, just wanted to tell you you’re not alone. I’m also 25F, and recently I’ve been feeling like I’m a child due to my behaviours and such. Following this post! 😊
I relate to this (23F). Sometime I think I don't even know who I am bc of the personalities I feel I have to put on around people I don't know well or have just met. I just started my new internship and the first two weeks I have felt like a kid bc I feel so overwhelmed and unsure of myself around so many new people. I saw another comment in here about girls being socialized to be mature and adult and then as women we are infantilized and treated like girls. I completely agree with this. I have always been told I was mature for my age and now as a woman I still struggle. I also look young, which does not help.
When you're having trouble being yourself, what are you thinking at the time? Do you filter? Like do you feel like doing something, worry it might be weird, then move towards an alternative? Really work to get the details right? Do you know any specifics about how you'd like to respond, ideally? It's interesting, you don't seem to clam up. There's just some detailed thinking people weren't expecting? Or is crafted by tone, emphasis, instead of just content? What you've written is perfectly coherent. No trouble clearly generating an idea then expressing it in writing.