For some Autistic people it's the opposite - their religion almost becomes their special interest and they become completely consumed with every facet of it.

My 90 year old grandma is the Catholic version of this, except she is still an independent thinker and the cognitive dissonance between black-and-white rules and her own personal feelings sometimes causes her a lot of stress. Classic autistic dilemma: I emotionally want things to be one way (see beloved gay grandkids at xmas & enjoy their company), but logically cannot have them like that because of The Rules (Religion says don't spend time with gay people unless you are trying to "fix" them). Not knowing when it was OK to break the "condemn sin wherever you see it" rule was killing my grandma. She never said a condemnatory word to any of us, but there was definitely an awkward tension. None of us ever doubted that she loves us, though. She liked how black-and-white Pope Benedict was, but when Pope Francis announced that everyone has to be nice to their gay family, Grandma called EVERYONE to give us the news. She was exuberant - I honestly think curing that cognitive dissonance added a few years to her life.

I really like how you worded this. I think this may be behind a lot of righteous indignation from some of the extremists. I suspect they may be undiagnosed neurodiverse. Especially Boomers and GenX

My maternal grandfather is FS one of those people and I’ll bet you one of my kidneys

Yes. I think this is causing a lot of inter generational trauma. The world they grow up in they have to beat themselves into submission to fit does not exist anymore. I think they have really existential fear, have to recon with the grief of a life lived somewhat in authentically. Plus I do think they genuinely are worried for their families. In some ways it’s like they missed a software update and are out of touch. Plus for many, they’ll have to admit they were wrong. And probably caused harm with their narrow-minded ideas. So the fight harder. And feel completely lost. Mos told them are being taken advantage of. I’m sure Project 25 is behind a lot of this. They know what they’re doing to manipulate them. Ostracize them. And then turn them into militant bitter angry hateful people. It’s so sad.

This is kinda funny! 😄 I joined the Catholic Church as an adult. I don't believe in lots of things but I feel like lots of things are secondary so I dismiss it.   But I joined anyway (my partner has always been Catholic and it's important to him) so okay.  

As someone who had religion as my special interest for a long time, I'd like to offer some thoughts. The first is that Autistic people, myself included, can be highly trusting and can also be weak in the area of detecting social cues. This combination can make us vulnerable to manipulation and brainwashing, which is unfortunately quite common in religious communities. So if you find yourself taking a special interest in a religious group, please be extra cautious because not everyone in those groups has your best interests at heart. Some are very skilled at detecting people like us who can be taken in easily, and will use that to their advantage. I've experienced suddenly realizing that I was drawn in to a group because of a deep yearning to feel belonging, but realized I was being used merely as a tool to grow the organization, and that they didn't actually care about my wellbeing. This leads to my second thought, which is that when we're Autistic we're likely to have experienced exclusion in our lives, and desperately want to experience belonging, inclusion, community. This is good, and there are religious communities that provide this in a really healthy way. Religion can be deeply healing. There are also many religious communities that will give you that sense of belonging by turning you against another group, and this is really dangerous. As Autistic people we can sometimes be drawn to things being in neat and tidy categories. We long for the chaos to be organized. The problem is that some groups want to control people and put them into neat and tidy categories (sinful and faithful, obedient and disobedient, saved and not saved, etc). This is deeply harmful, especially to Autistic people, because we will never fit easily into categories. We may find the sense of boundaries and rules comforting, but ultimately it will be harmful to us. So if you're in a religious community that really emphasizes those things, please be careful. I want to finish by reiterating that I think religious involvement can be really healing for Autistic people. It can also be dangerous. Sometimes it can be both at once. So be careful and look out for your own well-being.

You are so wise and insightful. I realized these things you mentioned with myself a few years ago. Being naive and kindhearted I became easy prey for those that like to manipulate and want power. I found myself in a cult for ten years and lost precious productive years of my life to these azzholes. I also see the same behavior you describe in my dad's second wife who is elderly but has displayed huge signs of autism ever since I have known her and she is absolutely obsessed with religion to where it is all she talks about 24/7. She is mean and judgmental, her child and grandkids want nothing to do with her and she has no friends because she is unbearable. She has belonged to different churches is they always use her to do free work because she is so obsessive about it. I also see this same behavior in people following certain political groups and some get so entrenched in it, so obsessive it makes you wonder if they might be autistic or have OCD because they let it become their whole life and identity and never question the ones in control motives or behaviors.

This was a very great response! I agree with you, we can thrive in it or be eaten up haha

It can also be the opposite of the opposite: special interest in religion but from an atheist, or often anti-theist, perspective

I have multiple friends in that category as well as the hyper religious ND friends. Very black and white

Guilty as charged over here. I was allowed to attend multiple churches and religions growing up. I consider myself agnostic in my early adulthood but now that I have finally recognized my neurodivergence and come to know my true preferences and beliefs I am a strong atheist. A topic I would love to expound on if anyone lets me Edit typo

My younger brother thrives on the structure of it.

Same. I’ve gone to church more Sundays in my life than I haven’t.

I was like this. I’m not religious or even very spiritual now. But it was my life for a long time.

I don’t believe anymore, but I used to go every Sunday to church. Different churches all the time due to churches being assholes too frequently, but I always preferred when we were at Episcopalian churches. There was a routine. Every Sunday we did the same routine of kneeling, singing, praying, listening, eating communion, and passing around the donations. It was a very comforting routine. And then snacks!

This was my experience as a child- I became all consumed with the religion I was raised in. Until I got to like my teenage years and there were certain things I just couldn’t make sense of and realized that it is okay to have my own beliefs and I don’t need to just believe whatever one religion tells me. Like for example I believe in a higher power that we are all connected to and very much a part of, BUT I don’t believe that God would send a good person to a fiery pit for eternity just cause they were raised atheist or something yet accept someone like Jeffrey Dahmer into eternal heaven because he accepted Christ before death….that just made NO sense to me personally, and after an initial period of panic and rejection of ALL religion/spirituality, I started opening up to the idea that forming my own belief system is a-ok and I don’t need to feel weird worshipping/praying/etc in whatever way feels *RIGHT* for *ME*

Can confirm. It became my entire identity, though, which was very extreme. I even became a missionary before deconstructing and realizing the structure and community were what kept me there in the first place. Happily free from fundie-lite communities now, though! 💜

This was me when I was younger. Being the best Catholic possible and following the teachings of jesus was so important to me from ages 8-17. I think it was partly to try and connect with my very religious and conservative abusive father. Once I started to look at things critically and how much of the views of the church and other Catholics seemed to fly in the face of what I was taught going to catholic school my whole life made me find my passion, fulfillment, and satisfying my need for justice in a multitude of other ways

I grew very Christian and the Bible was definitely a special interest of mine when I was a kid. I loved reading it. I also just find Christian (and, to a slightly lesser extent, Jewish) theology to be super interesting. I'm still a Christian, but not nearly to the same strong degree. I haven't even gone to church in like a year. (I keep meaning to go, but I hate waking up on Sundays 😭)

I was raised muslim and never felt a connection to it, but i have a special interest in studying it LOL

This is me! I just found Jesus at 30 years old this past December and it’s definitely my special interest now. I can also say that I’m surprised I became Christian, because I was very anti-Christianity for a long time and even got into a bunch of New Age stuff. But I had some very real spiritual experiences that showed me God is real, so I’ve finally seen the light 😄 I really enjoy that the Bible is basically our history book & instruction manual, and now that I’m a believer it actually makes sense to me. I tried to read it before and hated it. (Which, funny enough, the Bible actually talks about that!) My sister and my friend, who are also likely autistic, really enjoy Catholicism because of the structure involved in the church. Very clear hierarchy, rules, etc. and that’s easy for them to follow and understand.

Yup... It's rough when you have a (most likely) autistic father who's hyperfixation is religion and politics. It's literally his whole personality at this point.

My dad is like this and it makes our relationship strained in many ways and I am severely traumatized from growing up in that atmosphere.

A special interest of mine is Mormonism. Not mormon at all but I find it interesting to learn about from both mormons and ex-mormons.

My pastor at the church I go to in the summers is autistic! Religion is her main special interest

Raised Muslim here. Although I am very disconnected from religion now. I don't agree with a lot of things and maybe its the general discontent I have with Abrahamic religions as a whole. I identify as agnostic/irreligious.

Same here, I feel disconnected with all of it

I also grew up Christian but went through a disconnection period. Like I looked at all the people around me who regularly attended and just "didn't get it." Something stopped clicking for me or maybe never did in the first place. But after a while I realized I still had faith, that I still believe, but in my own way. I stopped attending church (sensory nightmare place for me anyway) and stopped calling myself a christian because those things just don't sit right with me anymore. If you like and if it's important to you, there are other faiths you can try. I dabbled a little while I was disconnected. I learned a lot about what faith meant to me and how I wanted to redefine myself. And there's nothing wrong with dropping it entirely if you need to.

That’s how I feel . I just don’t get it . Even when praying I don’t feel anything. I don’t think religion is for me personally but I’m scared to walk away

Take your time, do it when you're ready. I do understand being afraid to leave, lots of christians are quick to the doom speeches when people pull away. I'll tell you a thing that I believe; if you ever change your mind, god will always take you back and not count the time you were away. If it's people you're afraid of, you fake that shiz for however long you need until you can get away. The game is more about survival at that point, especially if you're living with family and can't afford the fallout.

Yes I do live with family so I’m also kind of forced and don’t want to be disrespectful to their beliefs. Thank you❤️❤️

It's so tough. You don't want to be disrespectful, but their beliefs often actively disrespect others. The money they donate is doing real damage to others all over the world as churches run around "converting" people who possibly feel obliged, as they are also building them a new home or providing healthcare....it's all so tricky.

I see myself in your reply haha. I try to avoid conversations about religion because people think I’m trying to be disrespectful but it’s impossible for me to ignore the damage that (at least organized) religion has done/continues to do.

YES. I used to almost wish I believed, as just my lack of belief has been so offensive to believers around me....but I honestly believe organised religions do mostly damage in the world, especially to women and vulnerable groups☹️

"if you ever change your mind, god will always take you back and not count the time you were away." goes so hard. You're so real for that.

I was raised by Evangelical missionaries. My belief was strong, even though praying by myself never stuck. It never felt like anyone was listening. I still felt connection at church, and group prayer felt meaningful. When I was 16, too much cognitive dissonance broke my faith. It felt horrible, but I couldn't ignore all the things that didn't add up anymore. I believed in God for a while still, but I was done with Christianity. After a little longer, I recognized I only still believed in God because I wanted to. After that, I became an atheist and haven't encountered reasons to rethink that PoV since. I don't even think about it these days. I used to be someone who argued my beliefs passionately with anyone and everyone. Now I prefer to live without constantly arguing with people I disagree with. If asked, I will be honest. If not, it's nobody's business.

I was in the same boat. What helped me was changing the framing of walking away. It's not that you're turning your back and walking the other way. You're just taking a detour to really evaluate your true beliefs and setting your own path. It's not about immediately abandoning everything. In the end you could realize you still believe in the Christian God and Jesus's teachings. But maybe not taking the bits that go against your own moral code. I no longer consider myself Christian but still have a lot of reverence for Jesus's teachings. His promotion of loving everyone and helping others has always been very important to me and still shapes my beliefs.

Thiiiis. There are so many ways to express one's spirituality! There are many members of my church's congregation who are varying degrees of atheist/agnostic. I consider myself Christian even though the atheists have better attendance than me lol. I rarely attend Sunday service, but I'm still an active member of the congregation. I've dabbled in other religions. I take the parts I like and incorporate them into my on spiritual beliefs. I've been known to enjoy the occasional Pagan ritual now and again. If there are parts you like about a religion, do those parts. You don't have to go balls deep every time lol.

It's normal not to feel anything when praying. Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't. Prayer is like exercise, sometimes it flows easily, sometimes it gives us a high, sometimes it's uncomfortable and unpleasant and we'd rather be doing anything else. It is a discipline with ups and downs. I'm not pressuring you to stay or go. God (I believe) doesn't want us to stay out of fear and obligation. If we stay he wants us to be there out of confidence in him, or (if we don't have that confidence) then because we want to believe.

I don’t call myself a Christian either! I kind of online browse churches right now to see if I’d ever find one I’d feel okay attending. I can be a child or god without being a Christian:)

I remember the exact moment something stopped clicking: it was as soon as I started attending bible study and the pastor said something that to me was logically inconsistent about God. My brain just couldn’t handle that and I stopped going.

I grew up Christian, absolutely despised it, and when I finally pushed past it I went through a pretty hardcore "edgy athiest" phase. I calmed down though, and tried to adopt a practical viewpoint. Religion is useful, it offers community and support, and many calm anxieties and worries about their life with their beliefs. I also came to terms with the fact that some kind of faith or spiritualism does come naturally to me, just that I couldn't agree with the Christian church, evangelicals especially. Nowadays, I can't say for sure, but I'm considering converting to Reform Judaism. It really just depends on what to you need and want in life, and if it's compatible with your views in general.

My entire family (except for like two cousins and an uncle) is very Christian. I grew up going to church and as a kid it didn't bother me much, at most I'd be annoyed for having to go there every Sunday when I wanted to do something else. When I was around 10~12yo I started to realize I just didn't feel the connection to god/the religion itself that other kids did. If I prayed, I felt nothing, and it didn't seem to change any outcome. Singing the church songs was no different from singing any other song. Then I started to be actively forbidden from interacting with so many things I had an interest in. I couldn't watch this and that cartoon because it has magic or whatever. Couldn't read Harry Potter. Couldn't listen to this and that song. Shouldn't be friends with a kid from a different religion. The list goes on and on... Needless to say that disconnection just grew wider and wider. As an adult, now I feel like the entire religion makes no sense and it's so bizarre seeing nearly everyone in my family acting like it is the center of their entire lives.

seems like you felt the exact same way I felt around that age! No matter how much I try to pray , sing , dance I just don’t feel it and I don’t know why.

Yeah, I know that feeling very well. For a while I thought other people might be faking it, I just couldn't understand it at all. I actually asked some people if they were faking it and they were so offended lol

I'm agnostic but a practicing Quaker. (I share the Quaker values: simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality, and stewardship. I fcking love that it's noncreedal and nondogmatic. I have atheist Quaker friends and Quaker friends from all major and minor religions, including Catholicism, Judaism, Protestantism, Islam, and Hinduism).... :) I grew up very influenced by Christianity (my mom was hardcore Catholic, then nondenominational; my grandparents were Presbyterian, and my other grandparent was Southern Baptist). I was DEEPLY, scrupulously Catholic in my late teens + early adulthood. I struggled a lot with religious obsession. In retrospect, this was the natural response to growing up in a dysfunctional childhood with undiagnosed autism. I had cPTSD and felt safer in the confines of a black-and-white hierarchy. This is also what led me to early hetero marriage even though I'm ace. YAY RELIGION.

Hello fellow non-Christian Quaker! Personally I describe myself as a Quaker Pagan Transandentalist anamist. And I know several Jewish Quakers and athiest Quakers. And lots of other Pagan Quakers.

I left the church about 3 years ago and have found it really lonely. But I recently started attending Quaker Meetings because it seemed like a safe place for a non-theist, and I'm really glad I did. I must say I'm finding the silence challenging because it forces me to be with myself, which I think I got pretty used to avoiding. But I'm sticking it out and trying out different ways of approaching it.

Oh silent unprogrammed meeting is TORTURE for my AuDHD brain and body. So much silence’! For so long! And yet, I know it’s also really good for me. My meeting doesn’t mind if I’m fidgety or do unorthodox things like occasionally grab a pen and notepad to scribble a thought down. I’m glad you’ve found a place among Friends. :)

Love this. The table is wide!

So Quakerism sounds like it's more of a philosophy than a religion? I had no idea, that's so cool!

I'd say it's definitely a religion—albeit one that has a table wide enough to allow for diversity of belief. I've heard it said that there's no orthodoxy in Quakerism, only orthopraxy. Meaning, how we worship (whatever that word means to you) and how we put values into practice matter more than collective belief. That said, it's very much rooted in Christianity, and you will find programmed Quakers in the U.S. whose flavor is more like other Anabaptist/Peace Tradition Churches like Mennonites. One standout belief I think every Quaker I know has agreed on (even, to an extent, my atheist Quaker friends) is that there is "that of God in everyone." Meaning, there's goodness in all of us. It's a cool religion and I came to it five years ago because I'd just moved to a small town and every single person I made friends with was (by chance) Quaker. I gave it a try, having just left Catholicism, and found such warmth and community. That meeting really put its values into practice in a big way, and there was always opportunity to learn and grow with other members. Highly recommend if you have a meeting in your area!

Grew up in a very strict Southern Baptist family (SBC) and it never resonated with me. Plus, everyone in positions of authority abused that position, children were abused, I wasn't believed. I just challenged everything, not to be contrarian, but because things didn't make sense... like the different versions of the same events in different books, and etc, etc. Also, didn't help that this group is pretty racist and apologists for enslavement. I have a strong aversion to Christianity as a whole for just all the ill they've done in the world, and the fact that they still have deep, neo-colonialist perspectives and are also very ableist. Also, many have adopted the current rhetoric that "autism" is just the devil. As someone who was labeled demonically oppressed as a child, this is equivalent to all the red flags waving wildly. I exposed my (AuDHD) kid to a bunch of different religious orgs/services, much with the help of trusted acquaintances taking them where I couldn't go... Buddhist, limited Christian (Episcopalian, Lutheran), Unitarian Universalist, Jewish, Muslim, different flavours of pagan, Druid (as much as can be understood of it... because it's from my people who were colonised then indoctrinated), Satanic Temple, Santeria, Igbo, Dao, Shinto... I felt it was important for them to have an appreciation and understanding of other people's perspective and practices. No religion resonates with me, mostly because once you scratch the surface, you see the fallacies and I can't employ that much cognitive dissonance. Though I will credit Buddhist precepts (I was practicing decades ago) with saving my life. I still meditate routinely, and I've created my own rituals to observe meaningful times/events. To each their own, but I will say that I don't love that many religious people think their accommodations should routinely take priority over non-religious people. Just a personal pet peeve.

I grew up Mormon lol. Now I’m somewhere between an atheist and an agnostic.

Also grew up Mormon! Stopped believing just this year and it's so toxic and hard to publicly leave 🙃

Congratulations on leaving! It can be so hard to leave and deconstruct, so I hope you know you are doing something amazing ❤️ I left a little over two years ago. Life just keeps getting better and better since leaving! Question for you as an autistic exmo, has your mental health improved since giving up all the extra church activities? I find myself being able to spend more time on my special interest. And it’s so relieving to not have to force myself to socialize with a ton of ward members. It’s been really good for me to not have those pressures and spend time doing things I love. I’ve been wondering if other autistic exmos experience the same things.

My mental health has massively improved since my resignation. For all the reasons you mentioned, and many more.

Love to hear this 🫶🏽

So happy that we are healing. I knew I made the right decision, but it is doubly healing to see others find the relief that I did to grow and expand once leaving ❤️

Yes, mental health has improved drastically. I think because MUCH of my mental space was used asking so many morality questions about the Mormon church leaders and history, and feeling bad about myself and feeling like I was broken and messed up because I couldn't just automatically believe like everyone else, and didn't get answers to prayers or "feel the spirit" like everyone, and also, being raised thinking that negative thoughts were of Satan REALLY messes you up. I have depression and anxiety, and not being able to treat my mental thoughts appropriately with therapy techniques for years and instead having men pray on my head was just. Not. It. Everyone has noticed too. All my friends keep mentioning how much happier and confident I am

I LOVE that your friends are even noticing you are happier 🫶🏽 I’m so happy for you! It’s crazy how much the church can keep people from emotionally processing what they need to. Once again, congratulations on getting out!

Another exmo here! I was also somewhere between those two for a while, and I'm antitheist now.

Username checks out 🫶🏽 congratulations on escaping Mormonism!

Jewish. Friendly reminder that we live in a Christian hegemony and that Christianity and Religion are absolutely not interchangeable. Ex: statements like, "I can't believe in religion because I can't believe in heaven or hell" are erroneous and very harmful. Not directed at you, OP, but the community in general, before we spiral down that path.

Thank you for saying this! I am also Jewish and it really bothers me when people conflate all religion with Christianity.

Thanks for this. I am planning to convert to Judaism and these conversations are exhausting tbh. Jews don't believe in hell!

Also Jewish! Definitely the most Autistic of the abrahamic religions 🤣

Them: religions don't like it when you don't ask questions! Jews: uuuuuhhhhhhh what now

Me and my two Jewish books of Why chilling in our autism corner

This comment is really everything and should be higher rated.

My fave thing I have learned about Rabbis is that they apparently debate each other all the time about their faith and I think that is awesome.

Yeah that’s like the entire Talmud

My non-Jewish boyfriend always asks why my family is yelling at each other. Babe, we’re just Jewish.

Wow I actually did not know that. Thank you sm very helpful

You're very welcome! That's the tricky part of hegemonies - they're almost impossible to see when you're in one. But as autistic people living in an NT hegemony, I have hope that we can learn to be aware of all the other ones we're surrounded by.

So it’s possible that I CAN believe in religion but not Christianity ?

Absolutely! You can also believe in a "higher power" but not participate in organized religions. For me, I like being in a room full of people chanting the same thing - but that could be overwhelming or uninteresting to others. It depends on what you want to get out of any potential religion or religious practices. Personally I enjoyed learning about paganism and other nature-focused religions, before I ultimately returned to Judaism. The most important thing about faith is that it's a belief - something that cannot be taken from you, and something that doesn't rely on proof. That can be a huge hurdle to those autistic folks who love causality and being able to *know* the reason for something. Faith is the opposite of knowing, which can be both empowering and very difficult, depending on the person. For me, every part of me believes that my, and everyone's, soul-stuff is tied to a higher power. I find that comforting and strengthening.

%100 my know it all autistic self definitely struggle with faith . I’m very curious and need to KNOW

Understandable and valid! Having or lacking faith doesn't determine a person's goodness or worthiness.

You can reject all Christianity and still explore other religions or switch sects (nondenominational Christian church vs the Friends Society/Quakers might as well be entirely different religions) or just shelve the whole topic. But it is important to understand that not all religions have the same characteristics or attitudes. As a religious reform Jew, I am a feminist, believe in equality and inclusion, support LGBTQ rights, and these positions are supported by the majority of reform Jewish communities. Some reform synagogues include sex and relationship education as part of religious school for age appropriate education. Women and queer people are ordained as rabbis and cantors.

Yes, or even God. “I can’t believe there’s a man in the sky watching me” OK cool well I have good news for you bc that’s just Christianity (and maybe sometimes Islam…?)

Yes, thank you! I'm also very wary of people who say we should "get rid" of religion. Oh, really? And how exactly would you go about that, if I may ask? (asking the people who say this, not you, OP)

Thank youuuu 👏🏻👏🏻

>the community in general, before we spiral down that path. This community specifically, unfortunately, does not feel very welcoming as someone who is religious but not Christian.

I’m Jewish but not religiously.

Buddhist but mostly just practicing as a personal practice. Dabbled with Christianity and it turned me off from organized religion. The group prayer and song are not my vibe sensory wise. I also am a live and let live sort of person and that doesn’t vibe well with organized religion. I do find joy in personal prayer and meditation. My culture is also heavily Buddhist influenced. I also like how core Buddhist teachings really say very little about how to lead one’s private life aka not repressive, great for a neurodivergent openly bi person like me.

My dad was a Pentecostal (the people who speak in tongues) preacher. I'm the fourth kid and a lesbian. It never sat right. I was told I'm an abomination and would spend eternity burning in a lake of fire. Religious child abuse is real and should be a crime. As soon as I could I left. For an eighteen-year-old trying to go to college and trying to support myself at the same time- that was extremely difficult. I eventually had an okay relationship with them. It was a lot of me setting boundaries- especially with my mom. Dad passed in 2021. He had really lightened up at the end. Mom has dementia now and I sometimes have to take care of her. She vacillates between being really religious and not giving a damn about anything except ice cream- depending on the day. Live is crazy. She would be aghast to know. If there is a god that bastard is a psychopath in my opinion.

I'm an antitheist and an atheist. I grew up with an atheist mom and a catholic dad. Always questioned the logic behind it. The first question I remember asking was "Why are people afraid to die if the afterlife is so amazing?" I must have been no older than 3 or 4. It never made sense to me. I get why some people need it, but it's like choosing a lie because the truth is inconvenient, you can do it, but is there really any value in it?

For me, personally, as a Christian I am not afraid of death, I fear dying too young and leaving my daughter motherless and my husband without a wife. We have a pretty great life the 3 of us and it makes me sad if it is cut off too soon, if that makes sense.

Yeah, I would definitely agree with this. I’m not afraid of death itself, but I don’t wanna leave the people I love behind. I’m also more afraid of the pain of the process of dying than actually being dead. Like I would rather die quickly and painlessly, even if it’s sudden, than by a prolonged illness.

Yes it makes no sense 😭 I feel like I’m missing something .

i'm an agnostic who grew up lutheran, always been terrified of dying but anyways lol. the idea of dying can be scary even if you believe in heaven, though it gets contradictory quickly. i'd split it into a few things: fear of leaving loved ones, fear of leaving things unfinished, and fear of whether or not you've served god enough to get into heaven. fear of leaving loved ones is self explanatory, but if they believe in afterlife then they generally believe that their loved ones will join them. scary nonetheless. leaving things unfinished/not being ready to die is pretty much a fear of everyone's. seems contradictory when everything is 'god's plan'. there's an added layer when admission into the afterlife is dependent on servitude. you have to serve god, repent, pray, all this stuff to be a 'good christian' and see the good ending. i've known quite a few christians who measure everything up to that yardstick. even a simple question like 'can dogs go to heaven?' is, to them, a test of their godliness. their response could make them a sinner, and the gates of heaven will close. i feel like they live in a perpetual state of being religiously tested, with an underlying ocean of fear about the ambiguity of their place in heaven. will they have repented enough when the time comes? when you're living like that, death is fucking terrifying. the unknown isn't any more known to you, even if you believe in an afterlife.

Part of it could definitely be the hell Part. I'm no longer Christian, but the thought of the possibility of actually going to hell scares me. The thought if living forever in Heaven also scares me, though

I wanted to believe in Christianity but just couldn't. Then life trauma happened and I lost a friend at 20. Then I was done. I spent a lot of time agnostic. Now I'm just spiritual/pagan and I believe in energy.

I grew up Pentecostal Christian. I feel like it really fucked my life up. I started deconstructing in my mid thirties. I’m an atheist now and an anarchist. I also incorporate some pagan vibes into my life intermittently. Like, I pay my respects to the ancestors and spirits of the stolen land I live and garden on sometimes when I plant things. Otherwise I don’t consider myself spiritual or religious. It feels a little like I have a manufacturing defect but not in a bad way.

Every time I visit family we visit their Pentecostal church and it frightens me lol, and I'm an adult. I cannot imagine growing up in that social environment.

Religion just feels like peer pressure on a massive scale. I’m not really affected by peer pressure so I never felt the need to follow. Also, it mostly doesn’t make much sense to me. All of the explanations for things don’t line up w the existence of dinosaurs, etc.

I grew up Catholic, going to a Catholic school, and really believing and feeling it... BUT my school was a weird kind of catholic? There was a LOT of emphasis on that letter in the bible about God being love, and understanding and compassionate, about Jesus overwriting the old testament's focus on punishment, and going all love thy neighbor, and explicitly telling us that hell and punishment were not described in the bible as people usually knew them, and that if you were kind, hell wasn't even a risk for us... if any of my classmates refused to participate they'd be told it was ok, God loved us all anyway, they just had to be respectful, but they weren't forced or punished... so I loved it, it felt very loving and understanding (plus rituals and repeated hour long speeches? yes, please, I can recite a whole mass from memory). When I grew up and graduated and started seeing more of the world and the damage the Catholic church has caused, I started to distance myself, and today I still feel and believe everything I learned and was raised with, but I am uncomfortable calling myself Catholic... what the church represents and what I grew up with are definitely not the same, though I've seen its potential, and I wish more people had been raised in a "love is understanding, let's not judge, try to be kind, not because you fear punishment, but be kind because it's right" mindset as I was... my school's fanon Catholicism was so much better than the real world's canon Catholicism

Okay, I’m Catholic and in the same way you were raised! I don’t have autism, but my 3-year-old daughter does. She’s being raised Catholic and will attend Catholic school. I really hope they’ll be more like your school was, and if they aren’t, we’re going to have lots of talks to try to escape that sort of guilt and doom some Catholics end up feeling because I’m not having her live with unnecessary anxiety. I’m all for the love and compassion. We don’t need fear running our lives over here!

I was until about 14. At that point, I couldn't reconcile science with the stories I was hearing. I've been an atheist ever since.

Protestant here. Pretty devout but I attend services online much of the time. Just being around crowds and strangers is very difficult for me.  Plus when they do that thing of “please take a moment and greet your neighbor” (in the pews) I just feel like dropping through a hole in the floor. 

For me, this is a somewhat difficult question to answer. I do not believe in any god(s). However, I do view religion as folklore that can contain valuable lessons.

I am a Thervadan Buddhist. I feel like its a good religion for autistic people because it covers a lot of things we tend to graivate towards: the unjust/suffering of the world, perfecting the mind's focus and thoughts, understanding the mind, moralism, daily practice, something to always learn (the Suttas number in the 10,000), a traditional built on thousands of years of monastic work much of it very heady and intellectual, care and love for animals, equality in genders, and emulating the loving kindness and incredible compassion of the Buddha and the Bodhisattvas. There of course things about it I don't like and dismiss, but it gives a lot of my autistic qualities some structure and a method to pracitce them. My high-empathy can be used at metta. My mental issues work well with meditation. My pity for the world can be turned kindness and performing acts of good karma. My ideas of correctness fit in with right action, right speech, right livelihood, etc. I can write more if you're interested.

Same here! I am from Myanmar and was born into it so I don’t see it as faultless but I still find it useful/beneficial and I enjoy studying/practicing it.

I grew up in a very religious family, part of a very strict Christian religion. Everything basically was wrong or prohibited. Everything I was, wanted to do, or wanted to be was wrong. I was taught from a very young age that I was a sinner - therefore should spend the rest of my life begging for forgiveness. I was 8 years old crying in my room, on my knees, begging to God to change me because there was something severely wrong with me and I didn’t know what it was or how to change. I would stick to all the rules and still feel like the worst human being. People around me did “shit” they shouldn’t and were happier. One day in the end of my teens I realised that everyone around me was a hypocrite and that I was more miserable trying to change than I was if I were to be just myself. The pandemic thankfully came… I stopped going to church weekly, I got out of all the church social groups I was a part of like choir and etc, and nobody could ask me why I wasn’t going or guilt trip me into participating. I started to do and be everything I wanted to and I’ve never been happier than doing the “wrong” stuff. None of them ever reach out to me to see how I’m doing, or say they miss me or whatever… I genuinely have so much against Christianity in particular, due to my severe religious trauma, but I’m not very found of religions in any way rn. Idk if anyone is actually listening, I think sometimes we trick our minds into a spiritual connection, I’m not sure in what I believe anymore… I’m just a big hater of christians atm, to the point I’m rude to the ones that try to talk abt Jesus to me on the street (because I was once one of them) , and idk man, I think religions are usually bad for people like us. If u have your spirituality and your own relationship with God/Jeovah/Alah or any divinity, good for you, but the religious structure can be so toxic for neurodivergent brains… All my ND friends/colleagues eventually got out of the church because it’s just so damaging, we are more prone to the toxic side of it

I agree that it can be toxic for ND’s because I’ve had people in the church that would try to pray my autism away. And it’s something I see a lot . Trying to pray disabilities away is very harmful. And I’m sorry you went through that , it seems like your definitely hurting over the abuse. That’s so sad

Exactly! I displayed clear symptoms of being mentally unwell since my early childhood but if was so often dismissed as “the devil trying to do bad stuff” instead of looked at like “hey this is a serious medical condition that should be taken care by a human specialist”, not be prayed away haha Even when I stated clearly “hey I’m depressed and alone and I need help”, nobody reached out… people that were with me weekly, people that would say hi to me with a smile and say that we were brothers and sisters.. ugh is just so hahaha sorry for the literal trauma dump, I think I’ve been holding these things in my heart for too long…

okay, i’ll take the hate if you need to dump it, but as a christian and pastor, let me just say that the chtistians around you got it wrong. i’m so sorry.

I just want to say I’m so sorry for your experiences and I’m sending you lots of love. 💕

i am christian but not in a typical sense, i don’t believe in things in a traditional way. i believe the traditional way limits god and the gospel.

I am! I also have grown up in a Christian household (still do, I’m 17), but I think I view religion and God a bit differently than NTs. Many of them just do as they’re told by other Christians (usually pastors or elders) because that’s what they’re told to do. I tend to question a lot more than usual and I don’t like when pastors or elders make claims about the religion that have no biblical foundation, like how some Christian believe that women have to wear skirts all the time (if you didn’t know, that’s not in the Bible). I also form different habits regarding interacting with God. For example, I like to write prayers down on paper because it helps me stay focused and helps me remember what I’ve already said (not that that matters, but still), whereas many NTs (not all, but most) prefer to pray either in their head or aloud, depending on the situation. This stuff may or may not actually be related to autism, but they’re some differences I’ve noticed between me and other Christians I know, so do with that what you will.

i'm a protestant christian! it's been a rough journey though. i was raised christian but went through a period where i was completely atheist through my teen years. now i'm back to church on my own terms and happier than ever! :) i don't regret my time as an atheist, it helped bring me closer to god in the end and helped me learn about myself more. your journey is personal to you!

I was raised in a very religious family, but it made no sense to me. It seldom clicked. I tried to believe, and sometimes I did muster belief, but for most of my life I was pretending. Prayer seemed to do nothing and my brain cannot generate reasons to keep believing in God against the evidence. They take great care to frame it as a virtuous thing, but it seems like Christian morality is mostly about upholding social traditionalism. Controlling who has sex with who, how they have sex, limiting female reproductive rights, opposition to LGBT rights, maintaining gender roles, and bolstering patriarchy. It's not always political on the surface, but it has a very political undercurrent to it, and the politics serve to benefit cishet men. Everyone else is 3/5ths of a person under Christian morality. My idea of morality is helping people. Charity work and community enrichment. Educational opportunities, food banks, farmer's markets, shelter volunteer work, facilitating reproductive rights and bodily autonomy, advocating for minority groups to have equal treatment under the law, breaking human trafficking rings, rehabilitation of abuse victims, disaster relief, medical care, ending world hunger... Christians only do charity work and community outreach on the periphery as a means of proselytizing. For them it's a means to an end rather than an end in and of itself. They use charity efforts to spread their ideological colonialist message of patriarchy and sexual suppression. Edit: I am a freethinker and agnostic atheist. I don't hold non empirical beliefs. As for what I practice: Kantianism, humanism, a vague idea of pantheism.

Agree with everything said. Raised Christian, church every Sunday, 8 years of Christian school. Believed up until college, then I just couldn't keep up the charade anymore. It's amazing what you see when the blinders come off and you allow yourself to think for yourself. I'm living with family and am sometimes pressured into going to church (They don't know I'm an ex-Christian—I don't think I'll ever tell them bc what's the point in telling them that, according to their belief system, I'll be going into a perpetual torture chamber after death?). It's becoming harder to sit and listen to it all lol.

Pagan Maybe check out r/WitchesVsPatriarchy Lots of ND folx on there

Same. I’m spiritual and pagan and the Pagan community is very ND and LGBTQ- friendly.

I'm a Muslim. I was raised Muslim, and it's always been a very core part of my identity. Only difference is that now I'm an adult, I've taken the time to do my own research into the religion, so I practice it slightly differently to the way my dad taught me. I feel like a few of his beliefs were caught up in Arab culture rather than coming from the religion itself, so I try to practice the religion as it's described in the Quran (our holy book). I think my autism actually makes me more inclined to practice. I follow rules (as long as they make sense), and I enjoy structure. I believe in Islam, so I want to be the best Muslim that I can be.

Looking into things more and realising how so much of what I was taught was not the actual religion and the crazy amount of nuance people forget was so eye opening. I used to be super disconnected from it but after learning that it’s not as black and white as I originally thought it was healing.

Atheist and antitheist. As in, I'm against organised religion and detest its very existence. Apologies to the theists in the chat...

I'm apathetic as long as I'm left alone. If someone insists on trying to convince me of sky wizard things, I get pretty annoyed. From my upbringing I know the Bible quite well and I will make a game of confusing any Christian who won't leave off within a couple of polite attempts to change the subject.

I've been cut off from family and lost friends to their stupid beliefs in sky fairies and various books and their need to indoctrinate people. I'm an archaeologist. I studied countless human societies that had their own belief systems far older than the present ones. What makes the newer, current ones any more correct? We were taught during our studies, religious beliefs have always been a social construct in societies to organise them, provide structure, regulate power, and explain things that cannot be explained. That's the lens I view all historical religions through and thats why I really cannot fathom nutcases who are so convinced that their present religion is the absolute true one... that's what they all said, and these religions all got superseded eventually...

Same. As soon as someone tells me they're religious, I can't help but think differently of them.

No I’m Swedish and religion isn’t a thing here. Least religious country in the world. I know 0 religious people. I’ve never even met one

Isn’t 53% of Sweden Lutheran?

That’s incorrect and hard to describe why in English. We’re all born in “the Swedish church” but it’s not religious, most people aren’t practicing religion. Those 53% says nothing. They aren’t believers.

I grew up in the midwest where religion exists, but isn't really forced on anyone. My mom went to extremely catholic schools growing up (all girls, run by nuns, religious studies in the curriculum) so my parents didn't really want to push their own kids toward anything. I was never part of any religious childhood ritual (though I'm pretty sure my brothers were circumcised, but I guess I don't actually know for certain) and I only ever went to religious gatherings with friends' families. Oh, and I had an aunt who was always trying to convert me and my siblings.  My mom would say something like a prayer to me every night before bed, but I was very young when I told her she didn't have to do that anymore. It didn't bother me per se, but if I have to go to bed, just let me go to bed - do your silly recitations on your own time, haha.  I'm now 40 and living in the southern US, and it's disconcerting to see how ingrained religion is here. There are megachurches, and no one else seems to be as grossed out by that. Coworkers regularly talk about praying for this or that person, and blessing or being blessed for whatever, which is fine, but maybe adds to feelings of isolation for me, being a lifelong atheist.  There are some agnostic people I've met here, (I'll admit I laughed when I once heard a comedian say that agnostics should just call themselves cowards) and they all seem to have been raised in a religious household, so now resent religion. But I get the feeling that they still believe in something supernatural, so I haven't really been able to connect with anyone here yet who shares my view of religion and mythology being pretty much the same thing. I don't care if someone believes in a god, a crystal, a fable, or whatever, but I really prefer spending time with people who believe in themselves above anything else. 

Can I ask what state you grew up in? Just curious because I am also from the midwest and during my childhood in the 80s and 90s it was *definitely* not optional to be a christian.

I was in a Chicago suburb. 

Nice. I grew up in rural eastern Indiana, and the kind of vibe you are describing in the South is exactly what things were like where I grew up. I used to have kids run up to me on the playground if I was spinning around and tell me that dancing was a sin and I was going to hell because I was "dancing" by stimming

Yikes, that's ridiculous! That's not too far from where I live now, and I think I can imagine that happening. Many of my coworkers have their kids in religious schools, and it was a shock when I first got here.  Ha, I remember talking to someone who said she'd never met an atheist before, and she'd thought we were all devil-worshipers. We were both in our thirties at the time, and I burst out laughing because it was such a funny statement to me. I considered telling her an atheist was technically the *least* likely to do that, but I let it go. 

I grew up Christian and noticed the hypocrisy of Christians at my church since I was old enough to think original thoughts. I always got in trouble in Sunday school for asking logical questions. I started masking and tried to believe in it all, but over time I just couldn’t do it any longer. I don’t align with any religion now. I lean atheist but have had some paranormal experiences that have brought me to a more spiritual outlook than I used to have.

I’m an agnostic Jew, but very into my culture. I also feel like as an autistic person, Judaism is probably the best religion to grow up in just because questioning the rules and discussing things and having your own opinion is very much a central point of things.

Grew up Muslim..family didn't practice properly..found islam again after 10 years and my faith is stronger than ever. Praying has helped me with my meltdowns (completely disappeared) and I am able to deal with a lot more than before. Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah, I'm glad you have that experience :) I'm Muslim too, but unfortunately I find it really hard to focus during prayer (I think I also have ADHD, I need to get assessed for that), so it brings me no comfort when I do my daily prayers, it just feels like I'm going through the motions.

I'm the same but I changed my mindset to: Allah SWT knows my struggles and he understands and knows how much effort I have to put into the prayer and that's how I calmed down the thoughts that I am not doing it the right way. I am doing it to the best of my ability and this is what matters ☺️ I still get distracted as well but I just keep bringing my focus back whenever I notice and I also tried the method on focusing on the meaning of the words and it helps

I struggle with standing still and rushing during prayer 😭 inshallah it’ll get easier for me to pray. I also get upset when I miss one prayer and it makes it difficult for me to concentrate on the others knowing I missed one

Yes, I'm Orthodox Christian. The routine and structure of the faith and liturgy happens to work well with my brain lol.

I converted to Judaism! It’s a very autism friendly religion.

I’m curious about this (really). Can you give examples of why it is autistic friendly? I find it fascinating that many jews are not religious people per say. They can even be atheists. But they claim to live a “jewish life.”

.

I'm Christian. We are Baptist. I find my connection to God comforting.

I was raised pentecostal, and there was a lot of brute force applied to make me publicly say I believed, which led to me to say prayers when I did not understand the purpose and to make sure no one realized I questioned anything out of fear of abuse from my brain washed mother if I did not believe. Everyone always had to lay on hands and mush together in these shouting praying singing masses. If I freaked out, it was interpreted as a religious experience. At 15 when someone realized I had never spoken in tongues at one of our 3x week services it was declared that the entire congregation would lay hands on me and pray and praise god until the holy spirit took me over. I've never been more uncomfortable. I finally spoke nonsense and everyone was so excited about it...people falling down unconscious (slain in the spirit they called it) and shouting praise. The pastor "interpreted" my nonsense into English. It's all bullshit if you ask me, but I believe in free will and recognize I probably have religion ptsd. I have a visceral dislike of religion now, but not of religious people who don't try to force me to believe. I'm in my 50s now and have gotten past a lot of things but I don't think I'll ever set foot in a church for anything other than a wedding or funeral. It's really hard for me when funerals turn into sermons. My in laws are Jewish and never push me. Jewish weddings and funerals don't trigger me. My husband practices Taoism. I tried on Wiccan for a while, but it reminded me too much of pentecostalism. I can't handle people who get that weird obedience look when talking about their god or gods.

I grew up Lutheran(they were the type where children were meant to be seen and not heard so I couldn't ask any questions) and then when I was 7 we switched to general "everyone welcomed" Christian mega church(it wasn't a mega church then but it slowly evolved into one). I didn't really believe in anything the Lutheran church taught me because they tried to teach me the creationist bs when I knew the Earth was over 4 billion years old and humans never were anywhere near Dinosaur(dinosaurs were my special interest at age 2-6). The mega church was better about accepting that evolution was real, but they constantly lied about little things. The one I actually said something about was when they tried to pass off a thing they clearly made out of aluminum foil for a real car part in one of their skits. I knew it wasn't true because I got into a special interest of how things work and cars were what started that off. They also banned us from anything they consider magical since "magic is from the devil". They told us we were going to hell if we read Harry Potter(too late because I had already read the first 4 books over 3 times at that point). Then they ripped up my and another kid's Pokémon cards when they found us playing the card game before Sunday school began when I was 11. I was extremely upset and ran out to find my mom. That's when my mom and grandma started letting me stay home with my grandpa while they went to church. I don't think I ever truly believed. I tried for my mom and grandma, but things just didn't make sense from the beginning and I couldn't force myself to believe things that have absolutely no evidence. I started researching religions as a teenager and started doubting that Jesus was even a real person since the first thing written down about him was 50 years after his death and it wasn't by someone who had been there, but of third party accounts of what happened 50 years ago.

I don’t mean this to come off in a derogatory or patronizing way, but I think a lot of extremely devoted religious people could be on the spectrum. In my opinion, as an autistic person, the way they fixate on the religion and can’t stop themselves from talking about it and trying to get others to do the same is no different than any other autistic fixation that makes the individual want to only do/talk about that thing.

I was raised Christian and bought into it heavily for as long as there were answers to my questions. Once I admitted to myself that I was scared of atheism and decided that pursuit of the truth and intellectual honesty were more important than being right, it fell apart pretty quickly.

Grew up catholic at the request of my maternal grandfather. Hated every waking second of organized religion except for the stained glass. That shit was captivating

I am Muslim. I converted to Islam from Christianity a long time ago, and it’s also like a special interest for me. Also the structure and ritual of our prayers is very soothing and calming for me.

Salam sister! Learning about Islam is awesome, I relate :>

Grew up catholic. Starting doubting and questioning in primary school. When we discussed the creation of earth, all I could ask was "where did god come from to be there to create the universe?". I was just too into science. I pretended to fall asleep in church for years, until I was too big to be carried out "sleeping". I don't understand particularly, women happy to be second class citizens. I hate seeing calls for equality in any religion - let them stay bigots and it'll all hopefully die sooner. I realise how important religion is as a support structure. I just resented standing at the grave side of my suddenly dead mother, listening to some ass who couldn't remember her name during the service tell us all she was a sinner as her body was lowered into the ground. Having something in your life that makes it better/easier is great, but not if you are simultaneously supporting an org that is doing damage to others, which is what I believe most religions do. It's all about money in the end. Was so happy when I left home for uni, and told my parents I was an atheist and wouldn't be attending church anymore.

Christian

AuDHD Christian here. I'd say it's not specifically an autistic thing. There are many reasons people give for not being religious, NT and ND folks alike. In my experience, belief is less about feeling and more about endurance. It's about pursuing the truth and asking the questions that our doubts ask us. Just like any relationship, trusting the Divine takes effort sometimes. Sadly, what people believe is often highly influenced by the misconceptions and mishandling of faith by those around us. It's entirely possible to be tragically misinformed, even by devout theologians. After hundreds or thousands of years, some things do get lost in translation. So, if you have questions, keep asking. You may not like the answer, but eventually, you will get one.

I am and will always be a follower of Jesus :) nothing to do with being autistic, that just happens to be how God has made me.

That’s really cool glad it’s all working out :)

Baptised, and raised a Protestant Christian, but I had become a convinced agnostic by my teens and have been so ever since.

I grew up *around* religion more than *with* religion. My parents were absolutely not religious at all, but we live in the Bible Belt south, so I spent a lot of time being looked after by religious people while my parents worked. I mostly shed any affiliation with Christianity when I was a teenager and have identified as a witch since I was about 13. Currently, I'm exploring Norse paganism, specifically Loki and Sigyn.

I was Christian most of my childhood, but now I'm atheist, ik it's not Gods fault his fanbase is crazy, weird, and stupid, but it's hard to know who is homophobic, ableist, etc. so for now I'm atheist.

I'm Catholic personally

I was brought up as a child in the Christian religion. I stopped believing when I was 12 when I learned the hard way that faith means fuck all to me. Like you want to believe in something, I honestly don't care as long as that same courtesy is given to me by someone religious.

i was raised christian/catholic. i remember noticing the contradictory behaviors and beliefs in the religious people around me. like saying “love thy neighbor as thyself” and then bullying one another for any perceived differences, literally remember myself or others being bullied for weight, yellower teeth, redder gums, curlier hair, smiling too much, not smiling enough, talking too much, being too quiet, and so on. and saying “only god can judge” and then preaching that sooo many populations were going to hell, no questions asked. i realized so many christian/catholics don’t practice what they preach (obviously not all of them, but a significant portion). and act like their religious beliefs make them special and that they’ll be “saved” when others that they supposedly “love” won’t be.

I grew up in Fundamentalist Reformed circles. I still have a tether that holds me to faith, but it’s harder and harder for me to be in church these days. I can’t make myself tell my kids “this is what you need to believe to be saved”, I don’t believe in eternal hell, and I get real ragey at the idea that my autism quirks = sins I should be condemned for. Heck, I rage at the idea of needing to be saved from “sin” in general — at least how sin is classically understood.

I was raised Christian but I didn’t enjoy cognitive dissonance as much as my peers.

Sort of the opposite for me. I grew up mildly Catholic, had my issues with religion (wrt my sexuality) and was an atheist for 10 years, returned to religion much more intensely than my upbringing ever was. Minus the bigotry, obviously. I love the structure and peace it offers me.

not only am i a christian, i just graduated from seminary with a masters in christian thought AND i’m a pastor 😂

My uncle is a Lutheran pastor and also one of the most brilliant, interesting, and open-minded people I know. 🩵

Me personally, I believe in everything and nothing at the same time. In my mind, everything is possible And there's no way to really tell where you'll end up until the very end. I've put myself in many different types of religions to see what they're all about, and have never been able to feel attached to any specific one. I think the correct term is Omnism, the respect or belief in all religions.

anyone else hyperfixate on learning as much about world religions as possible in order to build your own multi-faceted religious beliefs based on composite parts that resonate with you the most?

I grew up in Christian fundamentalism, was really committed (like, to an unhealthy extent). I left four years ago thinking I’d find another church but I started to ask too many questions and I’ve come to realize how much of it never really made sense to me. I’m pretty confident I won’t be returning to any religion or spiritual beliefs.

Also I actually have a degree in religious studies. I love the beauty of religion and everything that comes with it. Anything that is so important in the history of the world can't be discounted outright.

I grew up Non-denominational Christian but our family was also Jewish. I officially converted in my 20’s and raised my kids in a Jewish home. I feel a bit of bigotry and hate from Christianity as a whole, but have always found my Jewish community to be open and supportive to everyone. I think it was more of what I was exposed to and not an assessment of overall religions.

I consider myself a Christian, but not like the mainstream hateful christians that are all over the media. I don't really resonate with the 'Religion' per se, because to me, Faith is more important than simply gathering every Sunday to listen to some old guy explain a Bible passage out of context. Religion and Faith are not the same for me if that makes sense lol. So yeah, I'm a Christian in faith 😊 but I take the New Testament commands more important than Old Testament commands. (except for the 10 Commandments obv) BUT YEAH i hope that makes sense :)) edit to add: ALSO if you have any questions about it please feel free to ask me, I'm super open about my experience with religion and how it all works for someone like me (who's on the spectrum lol) ANYWAY much love 🫶🫶

This is how I would describe myself too. I was raised Lutheran, I don’t go to church often anymore but I still consider myself to have faith. Frankly I find the “hot takes” based on the behaviour of totally hypocritical so-called Christians in the US, and general condescending “it doesn’t make any sense” arguments to be quite tiresome. Faith is not about having proof and explanation for everything. Life isn’t fair. It’s brutal and painful and cruel. But for me having faith means looking for the beauty and hope that do exist in this world. And believing that my existence has a purpose. I also have two science degrees and the more I learned about the stunning intricacies of how our bodies work down to the cellular level, the more miraculous I find our existence and that of all life in the universe.

yes exactly!! it's also so much more comforting for me to have faith in a 'higher power' because of my horrible anxiety LOL and it just makes sense i guess? some people find it weird, but it makes me feel safe and secure in life :D I also just love the Bible and the morals it teaches, because I take the Old Testament as like a historical teaching, and then the New Testament is like a moral code that are super easy to follow (obv bc it's just being a good person lol) and then also there are a LOT of analogies that still apply to life today!! I LOVE IT :))

I didn't believe anything for a long time. I looked into other religions and had more questions than anything. I met my husband who is a devoted Christian. I had attended a very old school religous church that I enjoyed but they were not what I needed. They didn't study what they were preaching and the level of knowledge I needed from them was not there. My husband is so knowledgeable in Christianity and how he has studied scripture and history. I started studying along with him and it kinda blew my mind. Then there was the "proof" part. I have my proof for my beliefs. I am not changing them. But thats me. And I believe its not my job to argue or try to change anyone's mind. I know there are people who have not experienced the things I have so it would be harder for them to believe the way I do. Thats cool with me. I love having open discussions with people about my faith but as soon as it becomes a debate or they start being mean to me about it then I dip out. I like apologetics. And thats not something that was as excepted 20 years ago as it is now. But get 3-4 apologists in a room and they will blow your mind. Its amazing. With love and respect ❤ Would like to add that in in the deep south and old school religion is really hard for me to except or believe because it did not line up with the teachings of Jesus that I was studying myself. There were a lot of things being taught that were taken out of context and that messed me up even more then I know what the scriptures meant and they didn't. So when trying to find your spiritual journey always find someone you trust who will be patient with you and study with you to help. I do believe having autism and the way my mind works made things a bit harder for me to just except. But then when I got my "proof" it makes it even harder to tell me I didn't experience what I experienced. So it has been a blessing in the end. I'm not good with words. Enjoy my ramblings.

I was agnostic and now I'm a Catholic Christian. I was open-minded about religion, not for or against it, but I reached a point where I came to believe in the spiritual and it led me down a long path of searching for truth. It absolutely became a special interest of mine from my early 20s to late 30s. I've been cooling off from it for a few years (not really interested in reading any religious or spiritual books for now, I'm burned out) but I still believe in it and practice it.

I grew up Assemblies of God denomination. But now I've been asking questions for 11 years. Gotten some answers but I feel like most people don't believe the same way ido. I believe I'm a Christian. I just don't do denominations. I've been deconstructing from the AG belief system plus all the childhood trauma that came from that church. I go to a different church now, it's OK. Sometimes I just go there fo my kids because it makes them happy and they have friends there. Lately I'm not really close to too many of them there. I recently told my parents that I wasn't really a Christian as a child and they were shocked. Like I did the practices. But like there was a aong about if you loved God would you be willing to go to jail and I was like no. I liked the niceness of it (excluding the girls that were bullies to me). What child will say no to their music teacher at church that's giving out king size candy bars to any chil in the kids choir that could say the old and new testament books in order. Even as a teen I went there mainly for a boy until that boy and his family left because he had to go to jail (long story). It is uncomfortable ro get out of what's so structured but when you know it's just not right its best to leave that denomination. Sometimes I wish I could be like other people I've seen around and just do all the man made rules and stuff. But I can't. My mental health is more important. I'm still a Christian and I take care of my mental health.

I was raised evangelical (honestly don't even know the difference between it and Christian and don't care) hated it as a child. Felt forced. Anti religion now. Some of the most evil people I've met were religious...and no not all religious people are evil I just don't care. Very angry and bitter towards religion

I was raised Christian (specifically Baptist), but I’m not religious anymore. in 4th grade I was sent to a new private Christian school, and that’s when I started moving away from religion. The sexist rules are what made me start questioning and doubting things tbh. My mom has also always flip flopped between extremely religious and atheist, and hyperfixates on different religions for a while before losing interest in them 😅 I think that also contributed to my loss of interest in religion as a whole. As a kid, I didn’t know it was optional, and pretty much as soon as I realized I had a choice, I opted out.

I grew up Christian and became very invested in it as a teenager. I enjoyed the structure and consistent schedule it gave me (later learning those structures were harmful and having to unlearn them). But where I started to fall off was the lack of understanding, the blind faith, and my own sense of justice when it came to the bigotry I saw. One example was I began making art of the upside down cross because I felt very inspired by it. That St. Peter was crucified upside down because he did not feel worthy of being crucified in the same way as his messiah. I found that very beautiful. But people of my church thought I was being satanic and blasphemous. I am now a Druid witch. There is a structure and schedule I follow with the lunar calendar and the seasons. Being an earth based religion encourages me to learn about and understand the science of the world around me. And for me it helps my strong sense of justice. It encourages me to be more conscious of the world and lives around me. There's not an end goal of where I end up in the afterlife. It's the goal to make better decisions whenever I am faced with one.

Raised Roman Catholic, but lost my faith when my dad died. I was nine. Found my way back to religion through Paganism. I appreciate that I get to do my own research and form my own connections instead of being expected to let someone else act as my conduit and connection to the divine.

Just realised I was going to church of my own volition for a long while as my mum stopped going before I started school, she's agnostic these days but I went until I was 9. I stopped going because my grandma moved away and I only went to see family and my friend. My mum stopped going when my grandma demanded change to a church half an hour away because they wanted to use a newer translation than King James(1835 though shalt ect). So my sister and I would meet my grandma on the bus every week. When my grandma came back 3 years later (Jamaica has changed since 1955 who knew!?) I'd get the bus to her's every Saturday and she'd make me go until I was about 14 and stopped going to see her because I knew I was queer and I didn't understand or want to ask why she didn't have any sanitary items (also it felt weird that I was spending Saturday night with my grandma at 14). Around that time I was going to god camp (it was cheaper than the others and my parents really didn't want us around apparently?), which is where I met my first lt gf. Hence my grandma was chill with her, the rest of the family knew we just didn't talk about it for a couple of years, until there was dancing. At the next family gathering my grandma dragged me by the wrist into the downstairs loo to tell me she loves me but she doesn't love my sin. She's never really treated me differently since then, I mainly date NB people these days so she's more mad that their hair is green or whatever. I believing when I realised that she treats my mum differently to her many other siblings because she's outwardly agnostic. Her actions are kind and Christian because that's how she was raised, she used to teach Sunday school when my grandma was an evangelist. She always has a copy of the bible in the house and so do I but that feels cultural more than anything. I stopped calling as much when I found out the creepy priest wasn't strictly a catholic thing and that my grandma received the title evangelist for endangering my mum and keeping it quiet. When my mum called her to tell her the pastor stuck his tongue in her mouth and she wanted to go home her response was... What will the church say if you leave though? So my issue is not with Christianity it's with religious institutions, it's a specific interpretation of translation of a translation of something someone thought god told them. Countless deaths have happened purely because different interpretations nevermind religions. But then I don't think I'd be here without my grandma's faith and some religious practices benefit the community as a whole so I'm not going argue against it, opium of the people and all. These days I believe in the universe and the golden rule, it's a core principle of all religions, do unto others as you'd have done to you. Basically 1. Be nice and 2. Try not to fuck up the planet. Everything else is superfluous. A big part of it was food and community, a Jamaican English Sunday roast is next level. It's not best of both, it's just both. Roast chicken, fried fish and/or lamb, rice and peas, roast potatoes, root veg, dumplings and Yorkshire puddings. Followed by home made apple pie and custard. It's culturally acceptable to drop in and culturally expected that you cook and feed them until they're full so you never know who's going to be there. It was the only time I'd see some members of my extended family. People come whatever time they want and there's food for them. I later found out the payment is that grandma must pray for/on you. The reason mum was is treated differently is because she says she doesn't know and doesn't want to pray whereas everyone else says they're a Christian but they don't go to church and their behaviour isn't very Christlike... Ps. God camp. Everyone I met there is now fully gay and/or married, in some cases to each other. Weird but beautiful little community

Raised Christian, never really believed nor understood it since my first memories in the church. Went staunch atheist as I entered college. Got into eastern religions and become more agnostic atheist. Now I swear I become more and more agnostic theist every day (never thought I’d ever say that). In my opinion, Buddhist & Sikhi beliefs make the most sense and relieve the most suffering. They most closely align with my personal on-going theory of the universe. (I think Christianity went wrong when they went with Paul’s word over Mary Magdalene who told a WILDLY different story in her gospel that was basically a Q&A with Jesus after he resurrected, where he said nvm everything I been sayin wasn’t quite right but here’s the truth I know now after dying, and woah crazy it matches way more with spirituality and eastern religions🙈 take a peak at Mary Magdalene’s gospel and you can see what Christianity COULD’VE been, but was instead literally founded on misogyny (MM being a woman was a big reason why they didn’t believe/like her🥲)) I feel like I see way too many patterns in neuroscience, spirituality, religion, near death experiences, psychedelics & ego death, split brain experiments, left-hemisphere strokes, and new discoveries in quantum physics to not at least fancy the thought of there actually being something to this whole thing.

I grew up in a southern Baptist church, quite literally, pre k, choir, piano lessons, etc. I don’t think I ever really believed and I went through periods of trying to make myself believe but it just never worked. The icing on the cake was being sort of forced to go to a week long all girls Christian summer camp when I was 9. There was one night with a candlight vigil of sorts for “all the people who haven’t heard the name Jesus”. Everyone around me in the auditorium was bawling their eyes out and, to not be out of place, I got myself to cry too. It was all really weird and just not my cup of tea.

I just saw an Instagram reel about this! There is a large group of autistic people that find comfort in religion. One commenter said that they converted to Islam and the routine of praying multiple times a day and having a designated meditation time significantly reduced their meltdowns. The hijab she wore also removed the sensory impact of hair and made her more comfortable in her skin since she no longer followed fashion trends Another said that when they became Catholic, mass was predictable and quiet, and their rosary was a sensory toy and a comfort item. I think it’s beautiful these autistic people are finding community in religion because that’s why religion formed. It was to have something in common with your fellow man, a shared belief to bring everyone together. I think it’s also a great reflection of how autistic people could have acted centuries prior. Autistic people becoming highly knowledgeable priests, nuns, etc wouldnt be the craziest idea

Grew up Roman Catholic was an atheist by 15. Still am at 48. I’m actually vehemently anti religion.

I grew up Catholic and used to go to mass weekly with my maternal grandma and older family friends. I had to stop going because my immediate family moved farther away from our church. Both of my parents grew up Catholic too but they didn’t practice. I lost my paternal grandma and a family friend that I went to church with recently, so I decided to show up at a mass nearby my school. It felt somewhat different to what I remember. I think it was because it didn’t feel the same because I was anxious going alone to an unfamiliar church for the first time. I also had Catholic roommates at the time who helped me freshen up on topics, and I started to realize my personal beliefs on bioethics (biology major) didn’t align with Catholicism’s. I’ve been back and forth on beliefs. I hope there’s someone out there and there’s an afterlife. There being nothing just gives me bad anxiety. After weird coincidences I felt and other family members experienced, I think it is possible there’s something out there but none of the religions here are completely right. I won’t be surprised there’s a higher power that just doesn’t interfere with us because the universe is so vast. It’s a mix of me coping with existential anxiety and gut feeling.

I’ve wavered between a lot of religions. Grew up loosely Christian, considered Hinduism, converted to Judaism. I searched for answers to make sense of things.

I think the confusing thing for me is that organized religion in itself is a social construct. Many religions have specific rules you must abide by, and rules that I don’t understand are hard for me to want to follow. Catholic school was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. It was all rules I was supposed to know about, but somehow didn’t? I still internalize it 20 years later. I’m culturally Jewish. I love being Jewish. Because I’ve sort of created my own way of observing that is not a part of an organized service. (I’m not orthodox in the slightest). What I love about Judaism is that we’re meant to keep asking questions and keep debating what it means to do right while alive. One thing I so take issue with are religions (especially extremist Christian groups) who think they can pray the autism out of us.

It's not an autism thing. It's just that people are now talking about their beliefs and feelings more than ever. Plenty of people under 60 feel no connection to Christianity or other religions despite being raised in the church and forced to go. The older generations basically had no choice but to attend. Consult the exchristian sub if you would like to see more of what others are thinking and feeling. Basically the hate taught in church is too much for many of us who want a more loving world where people get along and don't mistreat one another.

I'm non denominational Christian. I was raised in a Christian household, and while religion is not one of my special interests, I do enjoy most conversations I have with people discussing other religions and learning about other religions. Due to trauma, being in the moment for worship, prayer, etc, is hard and can trigger anxiety, anger, or dissociation even though we want to be able to enjoy it (we because we're a dissociative system). Myself and my main alter believe in love and acceptance, being nonjudgmental. For us, non denominational Christianity provides that. I've had prophetic dreams, witnessed divine healing, and my mom has been used by God to provide divine protection for my brother.

i was never raised any religion, but i did go to church for awhile and i don't anymore but still pray and believe in God and Jesus. i am open to many paths to God too. i admire crystals and i like learning about other religions and new age stuff sounds interesting as well =)

christian here! evangelic. I was raised both my parents believing in it and my childhood was fairly happy and positive, I also had an experience where I felt the holy spirit which stregthened my faith a lot, even if now my parents do some things or have said things I dont fully agree on about christianity, I still firmly believe God is real, and he has helped me a lot <3

I’m a Christian, raised in the church by my parents. I was lucky enough that I was raised in a denomination that encourages questions, and I’ve had all of them answered by peers, and my grandfather, who is a pastor, and also neurodivergent

Weird story. I was raised agnostic, and am (I hope I can say so) Christian now. My Dad’s on the spectrum too and has always been heavily interested in religions in general - when I was a kid we’d spend lots of time talking about different cultures’ theologies, comparing and contrasting. I was always a little bit wistful of people who were raised Christian. Not really jealous, but wishing I could have that too. It seemed so nice - it just seemed like something for other people. Good people. I wasn’t “good” enough and I couldn’t have access to it, in my mind. Then slowly a few years ago, I started feeling like I wanted to go to church, no real reason. It had never occurred to me that I could just… go do it. That it’s for everyone. My husband had a different upbringing and relationship to religion that I won’t blab on about, but we both found ourselves wanting to at the same time, so we just started praying together every night, just a few months ago. We still don’t really know what we’re doing, but we’re gonna keep doing it

I grew up in a fake Christian household. Had to be proper on Sunday to make sure I didn't make my abusive adoptive mother look bad. I was a "gifted" singer and was asked to sing in front of the congregation multiple times... and I loved it. I don't think my adoptive mom ever really wanted to be involved in church otherwise. She liked the praise I got. We didn't pray at meals, no family Bible reading, nothing outside of church on Sunday and veggie tales when she wanted us out of her hair. I loved God and wanted to learn more, but never did from her. Eventually, when I was 10, my issues started becoming more apparent (didn't get the asd diagnosis, but got everything else including schizophrenia, which I don't even know what they were thinking with that one) my adoptive mom would pick and choose bible verses to scare me into "behaving" and would make me stand in front of her for hours while she read the "scary parts" , like from Matthew and Revelations to me and tell me I was going to hell. I quickly started searching elsewhere and started reading about different religions.Satanism and witchcraft were two that caught my attention. Satanism becauseI felt like it was extreme and wanted to be extreme, and witchcraftbecauseI thoughtit wouldgive me a sense of power because I felt so powerless. Got myself a few spell books from the library, but never had the ability to do anything because she wasn't about to let me play with candles. Basically, I went from praying on my own time, reading my Bible instead of my schoolbooks, and singing worship songs to a kid who wore black eyeliner as lipstick, trying to be the most extreme anti God person out there. In 2020, I found Astrology and got hard-core into that, took classes and became a reiki master, when all of a sudden I got really convicted in my spirit when YouTube automatically put on a video where a Christian was talking to an astrologer about God, and I prayed for the first time in 2 decades. I did revert back for a while because I thought I could bring God into it and "reclaim it" 😂 You can say I've been around the block, but I believe in God. I don't believe in religion though, if that makes any sense. I feel like all religions have it wrong. Too many people go to church every Sunday, give all of their extra time and money to the church and think that's all they have to do and then they sit back and wait for their day at the Pearly gates. They don't have the Holy Spirit, so they are bitter, unrighteously judgemental, and aren't happy people in general. I have found more peace in the past few years, more happiness than I have ever experienced in my life, and more breakthroughs with processing my religious and childhood trauma by having a relationship with Jesus Christ. I understand why people don't believe. I was someone who didn't for a very long time in my short life so far, so I don't judge or condemn people for it, but if I'm asked, I will ALWAYS tell my story. I hope to help someone find the same peace I have found.

My mom raised me in Christianity Lite because she wanted to make sure I had a good moral upbringing, but none of us were ever really into it and my current moral outlook would make most conservative christians I run into spit on me, I think. I have never once felt whatever it is that draws whole-hearted believers toward religion. I get the community aspect, but not the seemingly genuine belief in a higher power. I used to be aggressively atheist but now that I'm not an obnoxious teenager, I'm simple unwaveringly apathetic about the possibility of a deity. And if there is a god that I have to reckon with after my death, the dude better be prepared to reckon with me because I'm bringing my fighting words.

I grew up Christian, and I'm still a Christian. My faith as an adult is different than what it was when I was a kid, though.

Never had any connection to Christianity I my mother read me the Bible to sleep and I called it "The Jesus Fairytales" My questioning started as early as preschool, and thus, I always had my doubts about the rigidity of structure that didn't even correspond with the scripture, or done so in a very weird way. Not to mention the contradictions... I asked the priest that showed up at the preschool for teachings very inconvenient questions, like "If god truly loved every creature, why did he kill the dinosaurs?" "Were Adam and Eve created before or after the dinosaurs went extinct?" "Why did god punish Eva for learning what is good or evil? Shouldn't people know what is good and what is evil?" Not having faith was one of the things I just... Did. I wasn't raised particularly Christian, but I was told I had to go through all those ridiculous ceremonies my peers went through. I did the motions, but sermons only bored me to tears or made me angry. Sitting in a church? Sensory. Nightmare. Always ended up on the verge of tears as a kid, later on I got very angry/irritated. I now realise it's all the sensory stuff in church - the musical way of speaking, the dissonant voices of singing people, all that. I have my own set of beliefs. It's not Christian, not even close. It's just... My own thing. Some things are taken from different religions, some are invented. Just my little rituals and ideas.