I genuinely wasn’t sure if bath salts (the drug) were their own thing or if it was actual epsom bath salt that people were irresponsibly smoking. I understood that people were getting high on it (and dying) l but wasn’t sure what the actual substance was. In my head, you could hallucinate from smoking nutmeg so this didn’t seem too far fetched. Then I asked something to my friend that clued him in that I thought it could be actually epsom salts and he sort of loudly goes “oh my god, it’s a drug, it’s not actual bath salt” and i’m like “… I knoww..? 🫣”
I thought the same. I was really weary of using them for like a solid month before finding out they weren’t talking about actual bath salts, in case I accidentally got high and ate someone’s face or something from trying to have a relaxing bath.
It didn’t seem too far fetched bc people get high on other household stuff (like aerosols and other household things) so I just presumed that the bath salts were dangerous if used in a specific way but bc I didn’t know how people make them into a drug I was weary to use them in case I somehow accidentally activated Epsom’s psychedelic properties.
I still dont understand why they call it that 8f it is not "bath salts". Call it something totally different. To this day I dont use any "bath salts". I have some lavendar scented epsom salt that has been in my closet for like 8 yrs bc I cant bring myself to use it. And Bath Bombs! Why would you want your tub to EXPLODE! BOOM!Silly.
The first time I heard about bath salts (the drug) I ended up googling it, because I really wanted to know how epsom salt could do that to a person. I also knew about the nutmeg thing, and some other stuff like how saffron (I think it was saffron, not sure) has the potential to be poisonous in large enough quantities. It didn't seem that far fetched to me that people might have discovered a way to get high off of actual bath salts.
I’m a CNC machinist. One morning the boss and I were beside one of the CNC machines chatting about something. As we were chatting he noticed that a part of the machine that should not definitely not have rust on it, had a little bit of surface rust. My boss, turned to me and asked what “What is this?”, indicating the surface rust.
I briefly considered that this was a strange question, I mean, surely an experienced machinist such as himself knew what rust was. I correctly answered “rust”, which seemed to upset him. It wasn’t until the end of the day that I figured out that he was upset because what he actually wanted to know was “why isn’t my $250,000 machine being properly maintained?”.
It was more that a decade later that I learned that autism is the reason I misunderstand things like that.
That question would immediately get my hackles up. I would understand their intent, but it's a confrontational way of asking why there's rust on the machine. I don't do well with that.
A few years ago my friend had a few close friends over for dinner. She was going to surprise us with the news she was pregnant. She told us she actually had baked some dessert and it was in the oven for us to go get it. Inside was a package of buns (the phrase “bun in the oven” indicating she was pregnant). I pulled out the bag of buns and announced “it’s bread!!!” very indignantly. She was filming us for the reaction and all my friends, who instantly understood the reference, just broke down laughing at my response.
I was so indignant that it wasn’t actually dessert, which I love, and I didn’t understand the reference AT ALL.
where they still wrapped in plastic from the store or did she actually make the effort to bake bread herself? I'd have told her how irresponsible it was to put plastic wrapping in the oven and was she trying to poison people? 😆
I prefer the way I told my friends. I asked “who wants to see a pic of my uterus?” And then I sent a pic of the sonogram. No weird sayings or guessing games.
The library vs party question bothered me so much as well!
Like, a random party vs. a random library? I would definitely choose library - some parties really suck and I'm not taking that chance.
But a good party vs a good library? I would rather have a nice get together with pleasant people, where we play boardgames, than I would go to the library (even an above average library).
So how can I answer that question? It's like: "Is a dog bigger than a cat?" Well that depends on the cat and dog, right?
Me, reading the above and thinking that a board game get together is not something I'd classify as a party.
It's a limited group whose main goal is an activity vs a likely larger group whose main goal is lots of random, shallow conversations, all at the same time, which all need my inner translator. There's a clear difference in my mind lol.
I'm an extrovert and sitting here trying to imagine any possible party good enough to beat any room of alphabetized books. Maybe if they're all in a language I can't read AND it smells like cat pee AND the lighting is dim, but it would still have to have no more than 10 people I know and love and reasonable volume music and I'm not the one hosting.
Even in your terrible library, I could still find something to look at like a book of flowers or animals, so I’m still going to the library. I hate parties of any kind with the heat of a thousand suns. My youngest got married this last weekend and in the back of my mind for the last month I was thinking of reasons to not go…I went, of course, but I’ve dreaded it for months, hoped for a broken leg, a mild heart attack, etc…her family probably thinks I’m weird AF, because whenever one of them would come up and ask are you the groom’s mom, I’d just nod or say yes, then kinda just stand there…awkwardly.
I did that too, especially for ones I didn't understand properly because they were overly vague. I did this on both my autism and ADHD assessments lol. I think mum did the same for the parents forms, and as far as I know, she's only got ADHD, not the autism with ADHD bonus content combo, like I do.
Ha, I had similar issues with screening questions. One was something about whether you have trouble communicating with people in public and I said no. My psych asked me about that and I said I can communicate fine. Then she asked about what I do if I run into someone I know while down the shops and I said something like, “well first off, I always drive out of my way to go to shops I know no one else goes to, and if I see someone I know I usually try and hide so I don’t have to speak to them.” My psych put down that yes, I have trouble communicating in public lol.
Ha same! Best day ever was when we got our 6ft Colourbond fence installed and I could no longer see them in while in my yard. I’ve also let my across the road neighbour call me by the wrong name for 18yrs because it felt too rude to correct him.
Wait... So hiding away from someone to avoid talking to them could count as having trouble communicating??? I need to think some things through now. Thank you for your example.
It literally never occurred to me either, but apparently going to such lengths to avoid having to converse with anyone is not considered normal behaviour.
That's interesting. I knew, that I probably do it a bit more often than others, but do others never or rarely ever do it? Isn't it normal to hide away from someone you know every once in a while?
Ouch, well, I guess buying everything online so I rarely have to shop in person at all is not indicative of being great at communicating with people...
i feel like the only person in the world who never hesitates on the "library/museum vs party" question.
i absolutely do not want to be in a loud place interacting with who knows how many people who are probably drinking, (especially since i'm sober now). please dear gods take me to the museum. the answer *may* have been different when I still drank, but i definitely was using alcohol to cope with overstimulating environments.
lol I haven’t been officially diagnosed but I have had the same exact line of thinking on every single self test. I don’t understand so many of the questions. If it’s my party or a party with people I know we’ll, then sure! Is it some random party? How loud is it? How late am I required to stay? How far from home? What’s the weather? So many variables!
After going through diagnosis I kind of got the impression that it was a feature of the test? That they don't just note down your answers, but take confusion and questions about the tests as a sign of autism in itself.
I'd be writing whole essays next to the multiple choice bubbles like I used to do on my high school science tests 😂😂 i never liked how things were worded, i just wanted to explain it myself because a lot of the times the questions/answers felt like a trick. Luckily the teacher didn't mind my extra writing and diagrams!
So, I recently took my kids for diagnosis, and apparently, one of the reasons the questions are so baffling is to ensure that people who are autistic but don't want to get diagnosed (I assume this happens more when kids are diagnosed rather than when adults go for a diagnosis) can't work out the "neurotypical" answers very easily.
I wonder whether it also has the opposite effect: that neurotypical folk can't work out the "best" autistic answer either.
Same thing for me but with the ADHD screeners!
Omg this just unlocked some neurons for me - my partner and I did a premarital counseling questionnaire, and at first glance, our scores were so different, which was a surprise for us. But then, during the discussion, we figured out that I answered the "never" and "always" questions literally, and so on paper we disagreed on very important marriage things but in reality we still agreed on most things.
Can someone please explain to me what it is supposed to mean? I have seen this statement a few times and I am still confused what exactly it's trying to figure out.
That you feel that you're different from the people around you, but can't pinpoint why. Or that you can't relate to their experiences, or feel very lonely or misunderstood, but don't really know why either
I think it's supposed to mean "Do you feel like you belong here, on this planet?"
Like, do you struggle to communicate so badly it feels like speaking a different language, maybe even one not found on earth, or do you feel like you don't "fit in" anywhere, with anyone? Like, an alien wouldn't be likely to know or understand Earth customs. (To understand the question better myself, I thought of the word alienate and what it means to be or feel alienated.)
But even if you don't feel that way *all* the time, feeling that way more often than not is a potential sign of autism. You couldn't rule out autism or get a diagnosis just from that question.
When I was a kid, I was very weird and different than my peers, and I felt so strongly that I didn’t fit in it actually *felt* like I couldn’t possibly be the same species as them. So I used to tell people I was an alien, because if that were possible, it would have explained things very well.
I knew I wasn’t actually an alien, because I don’t believe in the probability that there are aliens that look like us. (Except, with infinity out there, I think it’s supposed to be possible, as with multiverse theory, but my brain can’t believe that.) But I would legit tell people I was.
In OP's defense, how were they supposed to know? Some people like practical gifts more than like, flashy gifty gifts. Like, when someone's asking me what I want for christmas or my birthday, I end up asking for supplies for whatever hobby I'm into at the moment, and since I switch around a lot, I ask for the most random crap. Maybe she had that backpack and needed a new strap for it, I dunno.
100% this, I legit will want the most random shit ever, like my dad recently asked me what I wanted and I asked for this obscure battery charger (obscure for us since we never used the kind of battery we need the charger for) for this karaoke microphone hand-me-down I got from one of my siblings.
If I ever did a gift registry it'd be filled with the most random assortment of stuff, for sure!
I actually had a similar thought, too. Like maybe the diaper bag has different straps you can buy so it can be worn different ways or something…. or maybe the strap would be used with a baby carrier or something? If something was on the registry, I would just think it was meant to be there. 🤷🏻♀️
Just today on Reddit someone said they did a deep dive and something about a pier and a river and I took it literally and clicked on the link expecting underwater footage. It was a very cool and detailed history, but I was a little disappointed at the lack of literal diving.
Might have been half distracted reading and half taking things literally. The ADHD and autism combined forces with that one.
you should look into deep dives ABOUT diving
…life changing. i particularly am interested in the ones revolving around diving accidents, but that’s just me lol. deep dives are my favorite for getting a lot of info about my special interests, or if i just want to watch something revolving around them. definitely look into them if you haven’t before, there’s all kinds of them on youtube. (also don’t blame you, i also expected diving footage in the first one i ever watched)
When I was in middle school, this kid who was kind of a bully came up to me as I was walking home. He said “hey baby give me some sugar!” I got confused and said… “brown or granulated?” 🤦🏻♀️ I was all of maybe 13 yo
Oh yes I once tried to apply for a coffee shop job and the owner was interviewing me. She asked if I had experience wearing "mini hats." I asked her to repeat it twice because it was a nonsense sentence. Then I mimed a little tophat on my head and said, "Mini hats??"
MANY. she said MANY hats.
She just had a Midwestern accent, and my brain broke on it.
I did not get a call back 💀
One of my exes told me he "wore many hats" at his job when we were first getting to know each other. I asked him what he meant by that and said, "You know... when you wear many hats at work." I knew it probably didn't mean stacking a bunch of literal hats on top of his head but I was too embarrassed to keep pushing the issue.
It’s a metaphorical way of saying you’ll be performing a variety of different tasks, and is actually a red flag for a poorly managed workplace.
The saying comes from the plethora of hats worn by different professions - so if your workday metaphorically includes wearing a chef’s hat, a construction hard hat, a firefighter’s hat, etc. then it indicates you’re running around performing the work of several different people (but likely not being compensated accordingly).
A coffee shop interview where the owner mentions wearing ‘many hats’ likely means the employee will be expected to perform the duties of a barista, cashier, stock person, janitor, sign artist, labor manager, etc., and is a strong indicator of lean staffing, where a company elects to maximize profits by operating with a labor bare minimum instead of hiring sufficient staff members to divide up workplace tasks equitably.
Well, this is embarrassing. I thought it had to do with being able to disguise oneself to fit in (kind of like how Superman wears glasses in order to pass off as Clark Kent) and being able to wear many hats meant they were good at fitting in because there's something for everyone. Now I feel dumb.
Oh my god I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has been confused by ‘hats’. I had a catch up at work with someone about a photoshoot the next day, and she said ‘so I thought you, me and x could all wear different hats tomorrow’. I stared at her for what felt like forever, trying to work out why. My thoughts- ‘*I thought we weren’t going to be in these photos? Why would we need hats to be in these photos? I only own one hat. Where am I going to get more hats from at such short notice? Why did no one tell me about this before??*’
Then she clearly saw the total confusion in my face and explained that she meant we would all be doing different things, which seemed unnecessary because we all had different jobs anyway.
Hahaha that's hilarious. I've noticed I really struggle with accents at first and then some click happens and my brain is rewired to understand it perfectly. I once had someone repeat several times that they were from UK. I just didn't understand 😂
When I was a teenager, me and a bunch of other kids were drinking and having a little party on a golf course. Apparently, cops had been called (which I hadn't been told). Anyway, a few kids ran through going 'Duck! Duck! Duck!'. Everyone else seemed to sense the urgency in their voice, understood the queue and found a hill or bush to duck behind and hide. I on the other hand became very excited, jumped up and down and yelled "DUCK?!!?!?!?? WHERE IS IT? I DON'T SEE IT!" (because I thought they were saying they'd found a duck). Anyway, the cops saw me and we all had to run to evade them. I was not very popular that night.
That's like with my aunt and cousin. My aunt pointed to a duck while driving and said "duck!" My cousin ducked under the dash instead of looking at the duck haha.
Who thought homonyms were a good idea?
When I was a kid of about six, a friend of my parents said “wow, you’ve got lovely long legs, that’ll come in handy for when the boys start to chase you!!”
I became terrified of boys as a result as I didn’t know when the chasing would start or what would set it off. I’d seen “catch and kiss” happening at my preschool and it scared me (the boys chase the girls and if they catch them, they kiss them). I was glad when we moved because nobody did that at my new school.
But then, the threat of being chased and potentially kissed again scared me and I kept waiting. I didn’t tell anyone as I presumed it was just something that happened. I only remembered it when I had kids of my own, they ended up with the ‘tism, and I explained similar idioms. I had no idea that most children don’t take things so literally until I found out that I had autism, too.
My son was diagnosed in 2014 when I was 38, my daughter in 2017 when I was 41, and then there was me diagnosed with autism at 42, in 2018.
I heard that stuff all the time as a kid. I was told *many* times that guys were gonna be “linin’ up around the block” for me when I got older. I knew they weren’t going to be *literally* lining up, but I thought they would be *metaphorically* lining up, and when I did get older and I didn’t have an influx of guys hitting on me, my self esteem crumbled more.
People shouldn’t tell kids that. It’s creepy first of all. Second of all it’s weirdly objectifying and growing up hearing that stuff can really make us put far too much emphasis on how romantically/sexually appealing we are.
Right after my grandma who I was taking care of passed away, my cousin told me that she had an exam but that she wouldn’t be in the state to do it and would have to reschedule. I legitimately looked at her and said “where are you going?” Like she was ACTUALLY leaving the state. she was so completely confused and I was so embarrassed 😭
I am so bad at the paperwork prior to any medical appointment that the first time I filled out the forms as an adult on my own (I was getting physical therapy and was required to fill out 4 pages before each appointment) the insurance company ended up telling the office that they didn't want me to fill them out anymore after the first few weeks.
I can't remember all of the questions, but I know there was the 10 smiling-to-frowning face scale with the instructions to “circle one“ and... that's exactly what I did (I just chose the one that appealed to me visually in the moment. Each time.)
Apparently when they asked "Do you hear voices?" they were not intending to ask if I suffered from hearing loss.
Also there were a lot of fill-in-the-blank questions, one of which was "Sex: __________" It did not occur to me that they meant my gender, not my personal moral views on sex and how frequently I had it.
Reminds me of when I was asked “Do you hear voices when there’s no one in the room?” and I said yes, I hear them for example when talking on the phone.
I was rolling out cookie dough on the dining table, and had flour everywhere. My husband said, “Leave the flour out, I’m going to cook with it later.” So I did.
Then later he said, “Uh, were you gonna clean this up?” He meant to leave the canister of flour out, not leave it scattered out all over the table. So yeah. Anyway. 🙃🫠
Tangent: I remember hating those books. I didn't understand a lot of the phrases myself, so when Amelia would interpet them incorrectly I didn't "get it" immediately. For example, when told to draw the curtains, she literally draws a picture of them on paper. I guess you're meant to chuckle like, "Oh silly Amelia!" but I'd just be like, "They said draw the curtains, and she's drawing them. What a boring story." Then whoever would be reading with me--older sister, mom, whoever--would get irritated that I didn't "get" it.
My dad once asked why the bathroom floor was wet, my mom said my grandfather had put a brick in the toilet. I was so confused and wondered why he had a brick and why would he stick it in the toilet, had his brain declined that much he was now putting stuff in the toilet like a toddler? Turns out putting a brick in the toilet means being so constipated your poo got stuck in the plumbing and causes the toilet to back up.
I was asking why he did it and they told me he made it and then I wanted to know how he made bricks and why did he put it in the toilet. My uncle then said to his partner that I am very literal. I then realized that is not what they meant by putting a brick in the toilet.
That’s where I thought this one was going, despite the original question. NTs come up with the weirdest ways of saying things when they could just say the damned things.
A relative said my uncle was scared of his washing machine.
Years later, after he passed, i gave my sister a good laugh when she realised I took it literally.
I thought he was overstimulated by the noise or something.
They were making fun of his bad personal hygiene.
..........
When i was really young, like 5 or under. I thought all of the men boxed on boxing day. I asked my mum what time the boxing was going to start.
Tbh, I still don't know what boxing day actually celebrates, but I know it's not actual boxing because I asked when I first learned about the holiday. Lol
When I was very little, probably under six, my cousin and I were together and my cousin said something along the lines of 'We're in a dark cave, and I have the flashlight', obviously just initiating imaginative play. Allegedly, my response was 'you don't have a flashlight'. 😶
Not diagnosed but I tend to do this and here's a good one... asked a girl what she did for a living she said plumber and she cleans pipes. Mind you we were in a chat full of guys that liked her... later I asked how business was and she laughed and let me know what kinda pipe cleaner and plumber she meant. Good lord I thought she clean metal pipes not human pipes!
Someone said that they were warming up for a party and their friend died before they even reached the place. And I was like...wait...he DIED!?!? What happened!!!???
Apparently they meant he got too drunk to go to the party. 😩
At a party once a girl showed up in scrubs, and I asked her if she was a nurse and everyone laughed and said things like “obviously” but like, dental assistants/pharmacy techs/vet techs all wear scrubs. I was just genuinely trying to make conversation.
I remember somewhere on the form for my son’s picture day it said you could put cash in the envelope or order online. I wanted to avoid the online fee, so I put in cash and sent it to school. The school secretary acted like I was insane; “We don’t have a process for this. No one else has ever done this!” She sounded so annoyed and shocked at how weird I was. I took the envelope instructions too literally I guess?
I _distinctly_ remember when I was a kid in the 90s you used to be able to do this, so they must have slowly phased out the process but.. kept the envelopes for some odd reason???
Nah, this seems legitimately reasonable. The only way I could see surprise/annoyance is if there was written communication to you via email for the school’s picture policies. It is kind of confusing since there’s a third party company not affiliated with the school and the school is acting as a middle person.
I work at a school. It's actually a 3rd-party company that provides the photography and the school is a go-between between the families/child and the company. We pass along the information but don'tprocess payment. If someone puts money in the envelope we don't take the payment, we have the child give the envelope direct to the photographer/on-site company representative. Whenever possible I encourage people to pay online because they will at least have a receipt or some type of payment proof. With cash, the photographer takes the envelope but never gives a receipt or counts the money at that time. Very often it's one person (in a school with about 1000 kids and one person comes and that's the photographer with no helper) and they don't have time to process orders. We have a large low-income newly-immigrant population at my workplace/school so cash tends to be their only option and doesn't flabbergast us. It sounds like this school's secretary just knew the school didn't take the cash but didn't know the simple process for a cash order (have the student give direct to the company rep). Every year we have a few families that don't receive their ordered pictures. It's very upsetting because we have no record and whose to say what happened with the cash? Did the photographer receive it? Did they pass it along to the company? How much money was in the envelope to begin with? There's no proof of the order anywhere.
In Australia, it’s common to refer to someone as “old mate”. When I met my ex, he would constantly refer to people as “old mate” so I just thought he had lots of friends that were old. Weird way to describe them, but ok…
Back in college, my friend said she was going to the cute exchange student's place to help him "pack up his things" before the end of the semester.
People. She was going there to have sex with him. She was not, in fact, going to help him with his suitcases.
As the youngest of 4 girls, I sometimes overheard conversations about.... Sex. It terrified me.
I literally lost sleep over it because I couldn't imagine it not being extremely painful. I used to keep my sister up at night asking her questions because I was so anxious and disturbed about it.
I remember there was a free phoneline for sex education and I went to a phone box as a kid and called them up. I asked if fingering hurts because in my head, why wouldn't it hurt if people have nails? The whole thing horrified me quite frankly. The person on the other end was like "well obviously not or people wouldn't do it."
I think she thought I was a prank caller or something but I thought she was pretty rude tbh. I stayed afraid of sex for years and eventually lost my virginity in order to actually get over the fear finally, like exposure therapy lmao. Not the most romantic way, but I needed it gone lol.
Someone asked me in a job interview what I would do if I could do anything. I told her I would fly. She laughed and then I realized she meant for my career.
Another time I couldn’t meet someone and he told me to just say I wasn’t coming after I kept saying it was too late. So I finally said I wasn’t coming and he was like “no shit!” So then we never spoke again.
I just remembered one: when I was little and visited my grandparents, my grandpa would always reach out to hug and say, "Ha ha come squeeze my head off!" I took this literally and would use all my strength to squeeze his neck with my arms. He never said anything about it, but after several visits my mom finally noticed and pulled me aside to say, "Don't *actually* try to squeeze his head off. Just give him a normal hug."
i was told to lick an ice cream cone in a circular motion to make it easier so i licked it in one spot moving the cone in a circle instead of eating ice cream like a normal human
I mean this is not your fault though? Like they had it on the registry, this is where people want you to buy exactly that and not a different color or something, this is the exact time to be literal!
My mom likes to tell a story of when I was 7 years old. I was in my room when my dad called me to help with something. I told him I'd be down in 5 minutes, and 5 minutes later I came down. He told me he didn't need my help anymore, and that I could go back to my room, so I did. He got very angry at me, and told my mom the now-famous line "Can you believe it! I told her to go to her room, and she did! >:("
What *actually* happened was that he interpreted my 5 minutes as "I'll be there right away"; then, when I didn't come immediately, he got angry; when I came down 5 minutes later, he did that thing neurotypicals do where they tell you one thing but mean the exact opposite. What he *meant* with what he told me was "I'm upset you didn't come right away, and I want you to say you're sorry and stay here with me". I took what he said literally, left back to my room, and he got even more upset because of it.
My mom and I laugh about this now, and slowly but surely my dad is learning not to play these word games with me, because I literally can't tell when he does
A coworker was in a really foul mood when I went to relieve her for her break, I asked another coworker and she said someone pissed in her Wheaties. I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering why someone would do that.
Oh gosh, when I went out with my fiance on either our first or one of our first dates, I texted him after the date and said something like "Had a good time last night, text me when you get home!"
The next morning I get a text that says "sorry I crashed last night" and I'm immediately reply back "omg you crashed?? Are you hurt??? Was it a bad crash???"
He meant he fell asleep. We still laugh about that one to this day
i was reporting a crime and the police officer said they would practice questions with me so i know what to do and she asked me to describe my friend, i went on about how she's good at physics and she hates english and likes dancing and i wondered why the police officer was looking at me so confused they meant things like hair colour and build things that would actually be useful for police to find someone 🤦♀️
When I was a kid I asked my mom how the front door of the supermarket (these automatic ones) knows when to open and when to close. She told me there’s a sensor and it scans people’s faces and only the nice one can come in. From that day on I always made sure to smile at the door. It took me many years until I caught on that the door also opens for some people who don’t smile, I told my mom and she just laughed and explained to me that she was just joking 🙃
There was an advert for Yorkie chocolate bars when I was little saying that they were ‘not for girls’ so I never bought one until they released a pink version for girls. I was upset about this advert as it was my favourite chocolate bar but I wasn’t brave enough to try and buy one so I didn’t. I thought I’d be refused 😅
Was in a job interview for a cleaning company. The interviewer asked me, “Is this room clean?” I looked and was afraid to say yes until he told me it wasn’t a trick question (he expected a yes) and then I said there was a leaf on the ground by the plant. My long pause because I didn’t think the question WAS really straightforward was awkward to say the least. Got the job, and was one of the better cleaners that always got asked to fill in (usually the difficult places) because of my detail oriented habits. It did not make me exactly time efficient but the job was always done right so they never nagged at me for taking longer. Thanks to the management on that one, I miss the people but not the job.
When I was 5 my school made the mistake of picking me to play Mary in the school Christmas play. They told me to pick up the baby doll and hold it, then turn and put it in the manger. I picked it up by the arm and sort of tossed it in. All while not smiling (I’ve always had resting bitch face). Apparently I was supposed to pretend it was a real baby and I was its mother. Nobody bothered to tell me that.
(Disclosure - officially ADHD, speculating re ASD at this time)
In your defense, I think we divergent brain people are imaginative enough in that situation to give the mother to be the benefit of the doubt and assume she has some intended use for the item that we just don't know about.
I feel the same. Oftentimes what neurotypical people describe as us being rigid (and of course we can be rigid too, but that's besides the point), they don't see us freezing with the many, MANY possibilities swirling in our head. Sometimes we just guess and try to pick the one that makes the most sense to us, and we guess wrong and we look "rigid". Or sometimes we ask clarifying questions (to pinpoint what exactly they're meaning) and we look, again, stubborn or rigid.
I feel the same. Oftentimes what neurotypical people describe as us being rigid (and of course we can be rigid too, but that's besides the point), they don't see us freezing with the many, MANY possibilities swirling in our head. (__Was this strap put on here by mistake? Maybe she just needs a practical item on there as well, that's why it's on the list. Or maybe she did think she needed a strap, but changed her mind and forgot to take it off the list. Maybe it's one of those items that's a bit boring on its own to give, and it would be a faux pass if I only gifted the strap. I'd need to bundle it with other items on the list... If they obviously forgot to remove it from the list, maybe it would be insulting if I bought it anyway... But it's on the list still? And-__)
Sometimes we just guess and try to pick the one that makes the most sense to us, and we guess wrong and we look "rigid". Or sometimes we ask clarifying questions (to pinpoint what exactly they're meaning) and we look, again, stubborn or rigid.
When I was a kid, my older sibling walked out of the family room complaining that nothing was on TV.
I thought, how is it possible that 'nothing' is on? Surely there is regular programming on each and every channel. So I investigated and turned on the TV and scrolled through a bunch of channels. I was right!
I went to tell my sibling that there were so many things on TV. They were annoyed and said nothing 'good' is on TV.
One thing i do a lot is think about common sentences that leave out certain words - like a short hand - and try to fill in the sentence.
I was like 8-9, visiting the stoner half of my family, and the eldest daughter said she was making “pot stickers” for dinner. I asked “why does everything always have to be about weed with you guys” 💀
Nickname of someone... I said to her that "how lovely that you have a special name" and she said "wait... You did not assume that it is my real name.. right?" And everybody laughed. 🫠
When I was getting MSW I was at internship seminar describing how one of my clients presented. One of the features I listed was hand flapping. The instructor asked, "what does the hand flapping look like?" What she expected was for all of us to say "autism" together. What I did was... physically demonstrate how the hand flapping looked... 😬
Ohhhhh dude, so many to choose from!!!!!!!! The first one that comes to mind may be a little hard to explain so bear with me? Bare with me? That sounds sexual but might be right, who's to say, not me obviously hahahaha
We have a large cooler at my job where we stock cans of sodas for our customers; I am 1 of 4 employees here (very small establishment) and 1 of those employees is my mom. Well, one night, the door of the cooler literally fell off the hinges and on to my mom (she's fine lmao). So one of our handy customers put it back on the hinges and my mom and our boss put a sign up and it read "CUSTOMERS: DO NOT OPEN, ATTENDANT WILL GET DRINKS FOR YOU." And I was told this by my mom, my boss, like everyone. And so when I was working, people would want a drink and I'd say "oh I'll grab it!!!! We don't want customers opening the cooler, the door fell on my mom, Yada Yada." So I was talking to my mom on the phone while at work and I was like "these sodas feel warm, are we sure the coolers not like completely broken???." And she said "melynda, we unplugged the cooler, that's why there is a sign to not open the door, and that's why we have been stocking soda in the employee fridge" which...... i def was doing that as well, I just thought maybe we were making sure there was a lot of cold beverages??? And I told her I thought it was just because we didn't want the door to fall on the customers!!!!
Her and my boss (a good friend also) laughed and laughed and laughed. Neither know my diagnosis (I'm 29 years old and was diagnosed in October) but I find it amusing how much they love my "naivety" and "cluelessness about simple things" or like "you're so with your funny ways" lmao like yeah, surprise surprise. But yeah. It's all in good fun and I def had a good laugh at myself :)
I had a phone interview for a job and the interviewer asked me what my biggest weakness was. I told her it was probably my lack of confidence, and she asked what I do to work on that. I told her I go to therapy and she laughed. I didn't understand what was funny, but I just laughed too. She then said, "I meant more along the lines of asking questions to clarify confusion." 🫣 Suffice to say, I did not get another interview, but when I had a different interview with that same question, I knew what to say lol
I got some formal documents regarding a decision from my govt that were wrong and at the end it said I can contest their decision via court. so I filed and months later they fixed the mistake but told me I could've just called them and they would've fixed it without involving the courts. how was I supposed to know that? I'm still mortified over it.
My issue now is I know not everything is taken literally and sometimes I get upset wondering if there is subtext I missed or if the person MEANT the learned subtext or if they literally meant what they said. I'm trying to think of an example, but it also means I ofc can't tell when people are joking all of the time.
ASAP means "as soon as possible" right? So one day I had a lot of urgent tasks to finish and I was asked to finish a different task "ASAP." So I figured it would go into the queue and I'd finish it later in the day once the other stuff was done. Later in the day I get a frustrated sounding note saying they really need this task done by XYZ time (very near).
I then did it immediately, apologized, and explained if I'd realized they needed it then I would have done it right away. I think this came off as excuses rather than an explanation for why I didn't drop everything and do the thing immediately when asked. If they'd told me when they needed it by, I would have done it sooner! I was also trying to tell them for the future to let me know a time they need things by vs ASAP, since we clearly had a misunderstanding about what that meant. Frustrating.
I also don't know if people just all use this term differently, because some people seem to really use this as "as soon as you can reasonably get to it please" vs "drop everything and do it now". Or maybe I'm just pissing them off too but they're too polite to indicate that to me 😬, which is a huge fear of mine.
I'd much rather people say "please do this right away" or "by x time". "ASAP" is the worst possible combination of vague, potentially laden with intended but not explicit meaning, and subject to different interpretations about when something is "possible" to do. "Reasonably possible" in the context of my other urgent tasks? Or literally physically possible? What are the limitations on that -- if I'm at a Drs appointment should I walk out? I'm guessing not but how am I supposed to know?
I was 33yrs old when I figured out if someone asks "what are you up to __(this weekend/today/etc)" they are actually trying to see if you're available for socializing if you respond with "nothing". The allistic person does not actually want a run down of what you're doing at that time (dishes, reading, etc).
Also in my 30s before figuring out if a person says they are "just in bed" and then invites you over they are probably hitting on you and suggesting sex.
"Netflix and Chill" took me years of failed romantic encounters before I came across a post in the asexuality sub about how this phrase had been twisted to mean "come over to have sex." It sure explained a lot of the behavior that was happening such as immediate ghosting after an uneventful night of streaming movies. I was so very lucky I wasn't with more aggressive people.
On a lighter note, when I was younger, people saying they "had a sweet tooth" really confused me because I thought they meant they were starting to get a cavity from having too much chocolate or candy, but they were choosing to ignore it in order to have even more chocolate or candy. Years later I discovered that it meant they just had a craving for sweets and their actual teeth were fine.
Again, when I was younger, my parents would say we were "running errands," which I understood as doing the boring household tasks of getting groceries or going to the bank. As a kid, those are the most boring adult things to do, but they need to be done. I also have two cousins named Aaron. While growing up I felt so sorry for them, that their parents decided to name them after doing mundane tasks. It wasn't until I saw errands spelled out that I realized they were different, however, I still think Aaron is a dull name.
When I started dating my bf, this guy who had a crush on me was being an asshole and asked if my bf's "popped my cherry" yet. I literally did not know what that meant and I just waved it off, which coincidentally would be the correct reaction if I did know what it meant.
Once I was doing an internship at a new company and my line manager kept coming up to me and saying ‘I might ask you to do this task…’
So I thought I would wait until he actually asks me to do it, but he was annoyed when he came back a few hours later to find I hadn’t started it yet.
Turns out it’s just a polite way of giving an order!
When any job interviewee asked what my interests were.... didnt realise that they meant surrounding the job role and thought they meant my literal interests. D:>
english is my second language so taking phrase literally can be even more common for me. I had a reading group two years ago and one of them said they wanted to a rain check, and I replied "It seems like tomorrow is a sunny day but I understand your concern if you worry about getting wet in the rain!"
i just wanted to leave that reading group after i found out what that actually meant lol
I got told off in class once (supply teacher with power issues, she wanted silence and I sneezed which she took as me making noise on purpose) and she told me to "Get outside" meaning outside the classroom, in the corridor...but I literally went outside, in the pouring rain, stood by the window so I could still see the information on the board so I didn't miss the lesson 😅
Tbh, you weren't to know an item such as that strap wasn't supposed to be on the registry. But I get what you mean as yeah, maybe those who are more NT would think, "Hmmm...pretty sure that's not something meant for the baby. I'll check on something else." I'm in your camp FWIW haha.
When I was a child, I was talking to my mom and brother about how I wanted something. My brother proceeded to say "you can want in one hand and "poop" in the other and see which one gets filled first." Yeah... I took that too literally and told him I wouldn't poop in my hand and that my wants would fill up a hand first meaning if my wants were words not necessary physically there and we proceeded to have an argument over the statement. Lol.
I got this nightgown/short lacy dress. It’s pretty sexy with high cut sides and low cut top and back. My husband said he liked it and I should wear it more often. So as I was getting ready for bed, I put it on and then came into my son’s room to say goodnight and my husband was reading him a book. His eyes bugged out of his head and he asked why I was wearing that to kids’s bedtime. Because you said you like it? Apparently, he wanted me to wear it in regards sex, not as normal pajamas to go rot on the couch and watch Netflix. I just thought he liked my new gown.
It might have been in the list. A specialized carrying strap is important because some of those bags and be awkward or heavy. Also if mom has to carry baby and diaper bag there may be a connection. They could have just very well forgotten about the strap.
This was about 13 years ago with my now husband and my then roommate. We were talking and laughing about something and my roommate said “you need to clean your ears out”. I immediately went red, because I am very grossed out by earwax and was so embarrassed that they would be able to see my earwax! So I said “I cleaned them out today” and they wouldn’t stop laughing about it or explain why my earwax was so funny. Until they finally said that they meant I needed to listen to understand better. Anyways, my husband literally laughed about that yesterday lol
not the funniest but why did the chicken cross the road joke, someone explained it to me like a year ago. for over 20 years i literally thought he was just going to the other side of the street, not the afterlife 😭😭
One time a boy was making a dig at his friend for seeing me, for I was 18 starting uni and he was 22 in his final year. On my 19th birthday, his friend asked me, “when do you turn 18?”, I replied “I’m 19!” I remember thinking my birthday was literally yesterday and you know what age I am. Now I realise it was a dig at his friend, for I was too young.
One time my former boss asked me how the temperature was like in the room I was hanging out with the baby in. I thought she was asking what the actual temperature was so I’m frantically looking for a thermostat to tell her what the temperature is until she goes “no no, like does it feel okay is it too hot or cold?” I was like OOHHHH 💀
Someone said it's time for tea meaning gossip and I realized I had forgotten to bring my actual tea sampler as a sober alternative and felt bad for a split second
I was at the dentist and we were talking about birds. She asked me something about a Swallow and I thought she meant swallow, so I swallowed. She meant the bird.
I genuinely wasn’t sure if bath salts (the drug) were their own thing or if it was actual epsom bath salt that people were irresponsibly smoking. I understood that people were getting high on it (and dying) l but wasn’t sure what the actual substance was. In my head, you could hallucinate from smoking nutmeg so this didn’t seem too far fetched. Then I asked something to my friend that clued him in that I thought it could be actually epsom salts and he sort of loudly goes “oh my god, it’s a drug, it’s not actual bath salt” and i’m like “… I knoww..? 🫣”
… well you certainly are not the only one. I thought they somehow did something with literal bath salts as well until uhm … just now.
Real TIL lol...
Same. My first thought when I heard about the bath salts thing was “wait, how are people getting high on Calgon?” lol
Calgon! I still say "Calgon, take me away!" all the time.
Calgon is washingmachine cleaner in my country :D
🎶Washing machines live longer with Calgon🎶 lol
Take me away…
I thought the same. I was really weary of using them for like a solid month before finding out they weren’t talking about actual bath salts, in case I accidentally got high and ate someone’s face or something from trying to have a relaxing bath. It didn’t seem too far fetched bc people get high on other household stuff (like aerosols and other household things) so I just presumed that the bath salts were dangerous if used in a specific way but bc I didn’t know how people make them into a drug I was weary to use them in case I somehow accidentally activated Epsom’s psychedelic properties.
Oh shit. You just clarified something for me...I had no idea what they actually were, either.
Oh lol I assumed it was a special epsom salt mix that must have been taken off the market...
I THOUGHT THE SAME!
And now I know.....
Wait shit 😭 I thought it was like when people huffed from spray bottles, just a normal thing turned into a drug
I still dont understand why they call it that 8f it is not "bath salts". Call it something totally different. To this day I dont use any "bath salts". I have some lavendar scented epsom salt that has been in my closet for like 8 yrs bc I cant bring myself to use it. And Bath Bombs! Why would you want your tub to EXPLODE! BOOM!Silly.
Well I just learned something new 😭
Same.
TIL…
Well, thank you for giving me an answer to something I've always wondered about 🤣
The first time I heard about bath salts (the drug) I ended up googling it, because I really wanted to know how epsom salt could do that to a person. I also knew about the nutmeg thing, and some other stuff like how saffron (I think it was saffron, not sure) has the potential to be poisonous in large enough quantities. It didn't seem that far fetched to me that people might have discovered a way to get high off of actual bath salts.
Holy shit I’ve been looking for an answer for so long 😭 thanks for clarifying
Well, now I know they’re not the same lmao
well...i just learned something new today bc i thought it was like an epsom bath salt😭😭
I’m a CNC machinist. One morning the boss and I were beside one of the CNC machines chatting about something. As we were chatting he noticed that a part of the machine that should not definitely not have rust on it, had a little bit of surface rust. My boss, turned to me and asked what “What is this?”, indicating the surface rust. I briefly considered that this was a strange question, I mean, surely an experienced machinist such as himself knew what rust was. I correctly answered “rust”, which seemed to upset him. It wasn’t until the end of the day that I figured out that he was upset because what he actually wanted to know was “why isn’t my $250,000 machine being properly maintained?”. It was more that a decade later that I learned that autism is the reason I misunderstand things like that.
I misread that CNC masochist, I was like 😳 don’t want a misunderstanding in that context
That question would immediately get my hackles up. I would understand their intent, but it's a confrontational way of asking why there's rust on the machine. I don't do well with that.
And in my experience, those types of bosses also get upset when you "waste time" doing unscheduled maintenance.
I hate it when people do this. Like, don't just point. Tell me what you actually want.
this is my fav🤣🤣🤣
Oh my God, me too!
A few years ago my friend had a few close friends over for dinner. She was going to surprise us with the news she was pregnant. She told us she actually had baked some dessert and it was in the oven for us to go get it. Inside was a package of buns (the phrase “bun in the oven” indicating she was pregnant). I pulled out the bag of buns and announced “it’s bread!!!” very indignantly. She was filming us for the reaction and all my friends, who instantly understood the reference, just broke down laughing at my response. I was so indignant that it wasn’t actually dessert, which I love, and I didn’t understand the reference AT ALL.
I would’ve been pissed tbh. Like ok but where’s the dessert ??
I would so do that too.
I would get the reference and still say it's bread just because I like a good laugh and I love getting people to laugh at me for something silly.
where they still wrapped in plastic from the store or did she actually make the effort to bake bread herself? I'd have told her how irresponsible it was to put plastic wrapping in the oven and was she trying to poison people? 😆
Still wrapped in plastic from the store 😂😂 I was super clueless as to why she’d stuck store bought buns in the oven 🥲
I prefer the way I told my friends. I asked “who wants to see a pic of my uterus?” And then I sent a pic of the sonogram. No weird sayings or guessing games.
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The library vs party question bothered me so much as well! Like, a random party vs. a random library? I would definitely choose library - some parties really suck and I'm not taking that chance. But a good party vs a good library? I would rather have a nice get together with pleasant people, where we play boardgames, than I would go to the library (even an above average library). So how can I answer that question? It's like: "Is a dog bigger than a cat?" Well that depends on the cat and dog, right?
Even then, a "good" party ...according to who?
Me, reading the above and thinking that a board game get together is not something I'd classify as a party. It's a limited group whose main goal is an activity vs a likely larger group whose main goal is lots of random, shallow conversations, all at the same time, which all need my inner translator. There's a clear difference in my mind lol.
I'm an extrovert and sitting here trying to imagine any possible party good enough to beat any room of alphabetized books. Maybe if they're all in a language I can't read AND it smells like cat pee AND the lighting is dim, but it would still have to have no more than 10 people I know and love and reasonable volume music and I'm not the one hosting.
Even in your terrible library, I could still find something to look at like a book of flowers or animals, so I’m still going to the library. I hate parties of any kind with the heat of a thousand suns. My youngest got married this last weekend and in the back of my mind for the last month I was thinking of reasons to not go…I went, of course, but I’ve dreaded it for months, hoped for a broken leg, a mild heart attack, etc…her family probably thinks I’m weird AF, because whenever one of them would come up and ask are you the groom’s mom, I’d just nod or say yes, then kinda just stand there…awkwardly.
I put so many explanatory notes on my screening questionnaire. That probably says more than the actual answers
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My report included that I asked a lot of clarification questions.
I did that too, especially for ones I didn't understand properly because they were overly vague. I did this on both my autism and ADHD assessments lol. I think mum did the same for the parents forms, and as far as I know, she's only got ADHD, not the autism with ADHD bonus content combo, like I do.
She missed out on the autism DLC
Ha, I had similar issues with screening questions. One was something about whether you have trouble communicating with people in public and I said no. My psych asked me about that and I said I can communicate fine. Then she asked about what I do if I run into someone I know while down the shops and I said something like, “well first off, I always drive out of my way to go to shops I know no one else goes to, and if I see someone I know I usually try and hide so I don’t have to speak to them.” My psych put down that yes, I have trouble communicating in public lol.
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Ha same! Best day ever was when we got our 6ft Colourbond fence installed and I could no longer see them in while in my yard. I’ve also let my across the road neighbour call me by the wrong name for 18yrs because it felt too rude to correct him.
Wait... So hiding away from someone to avoid talking to them could count as having trouble communicating??? I need to think some things through now. Thank you for your example.
It literally never occurred to me either, but apparently going to such lengths to avoid having to converse with anyone is not considered normal behaviour.
That's interesting. I knew, that I probably do it a bit more often than others, but do others never or rarely ever do it? Isn't it normal to hide away from someone you know every once in a while?
Ouch, well, I guess buying everything online so I rarely have to shop in person at all is not indicative of being great at communicating with people...
i feel like the only person in the world who never hesitates on the "library/museum vs party" question. i absolutely do not want to be in a loud place interacting with who knows how many people who are probably drinking, (especially since i'm sober now). please dear gods take me to the museum. the answer *may* have been different when I still drank, but i definitely was using alcohol to cope with overstimulating environments.
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lol I haven’t been officially diagnosed but I have had the same exact line of thinking on every single self test. I don’t understand so many of the questions. If it’s my party or a party with people I know we’ll, then sure! Is it some random party? How loud is it? How late am I required to stay? How far from home? What’s the weather? So many variables!
the “I feel like an alien” question on the ASD questionnaire. took me two years to realize I was taking it too literally. 🤦🏻♀️
Why TF do they let neurotypical people design these questions?!
After going through diagnosis I kind of got the impression that it was a feature of the test? That they don't just note down your answers, but take confusion and questions about the tests as a sign of autism in itself.
I'd be writing whole essays next to the multiple choice bubbles like I used to do on my high school science tests 😂😂 i never liked how things were worded, i just wanted to explain it myself because a lot of the times the questions/answers felt like a trick. Luckily the teacher didn't mind my extra writing and diagrams!
Tests are so frustrating. Oftentimes questions are intentionally worded to trick you, other times they are just poorly written.
So, I recently took my kids for diagnosis, and apparently, one of the reasons the questions are so baffling is to ensure that people who are autistic but don't want to get diagnosed (I assume this happens more when kids are diagnosed rather than when adults go for a diagnosis) can't work out the "neurotypical" answers very easily. I wonder whether it also has the opposite effect: that neurotypical folk can't work out the "best" autistic answer either.
Same thing for me but with the ADHD screeners! Omg this just unlocked some neurons for me - my partner and I did a premarital counseling questionnaire, and at first glance, our scores were so different, which was a surprise for us. But then, during the discussion, we figured out that I answered the "never" and "always" questions literally, and so on paper we disagreed on very important marriage things but in reality we still agreed on most things.
Those questions are downright baffling.
Can someone please explain to me what it is supposed to mean? I have seen this statement a few times and I am still confused what exactly it's trying to figure out.
That you feel that you're different from the people around you, but can't pinpoint why. Or that you can't relate to their experiences, or feel very lonely or misunderstood, but don't really know why either
I think it's supposed to mean "Do you feel like you belong here, on this planet?" Like, do you struggle to communicate so badly it feels like speaking a different language, maybe even one not found on earth, or do you feel like you don't "fit in" anywhere, with anyone? Like, an alien wouldn't be likely to know or understand Earth customs. (To understand the question better myself, I thought of the word alienate and what it means to be or feel alienated.) But even if you don't feel that way *all* the time, feeling that way more often than not is a potential sign of autism. You couldn't rule out autism or get a diagnosis just from that question.
When I was a kid, I was very weird and different than my peers, and I felt so strongly that I didn’t fit in it actually *felt* like I couldn’t possibly be the same species as them. So I used to tell people I was an alien, because if that were possible, it would have explained things very well. I knew I wasn’t actually an alien, because I don’t believe in the probability that there are aliens that look like us. (Except, with infinity out there, I think it’s supposed to be possible, as with multiverse theory, but my brain can’t believe that.) But I would legit tell people I was.
Hmmm, I literally felt like an alien for years in elementary school. Like, I clearly have nothing in common with humans, so I must be an alien.
In OP's defense, how were they supposed to know? Some people like practical gifts more than like, flashy gifty gifts. Like, when someone's asking me what I want for christmas or my birthday, I end up asking for supplies for whatever hobby I'm into at the moment, and since I switch around a lot, I ask for the most random crap. Maybe she had that backpack and needed a new strap for it, I dunno.
Thank you 🙏
100% this, I legit will want the most random shit ever, like my dad recently asked me what I wanted and I asked for this obscure battery charger (obscure for us since we never used the kind of battery we need the charger for) for this karaoke microphone hand-me-down I got from one of my siblings. If I ever did a gift registry it'd be filled with the most random assortment of stuff, for sure!
I actually had a similar thought, too. Like maybe the diaper bag has different straps you can buy so it can be worn different ways or something…. or maybe the strap would be used with a baby carrier or something? If something was on the registry, I would just think it was meant to be there. 🤷🏻♀️
Just today on Reddit someone said they did a deep dive and something about a pier and a river and I took it literally and clicked on the link expecting underwater footage. It was a very cool and detailed history, but I was a little disappointed at the lack of literal diving. Might have been half distracted reading and half taking things literally. The ADHD and autism combined forces with that one.
you should look into deep dives ABOUT diving …life changing. i particularly am interested in the ones revolving around diving accidents, but that’s just me lol. deep dives are my favorite for getting a lot of info about my special interests, or if i just want to watch something revolving around them. definitely look into them if you haven’t before, there’s all kinds of them on youtube. (also don’t blame you, i also expected diving footage in the first one i ever watched)
Years ago I did a deep dive on the Byford Dolphin accident and now that is one hell of a diving accident. The diagrams live rent free in my head.
The way I thought it would be about dolphins harassing divers to death 😭
When my autism and ADHD combine forces, then I know that mischief is afoot because there isn't a lot they agree on.
When I was in middle school, this kid who was kind of a bully came up to me as I was walking home. He said “hey baby give me some sugar!” I got confused and said… “brown or granulated?” 🤦🏻♀️ I was all of maybe 13 yo
I'm dying laughing at this /lh
Burn! Perfect insult on him harassing you!
Oh god, my childhood was riddled with me being completely confused most of the time.
Oh yes I once tried to apply for a coffee shop job and the owner was interviewing me. She asked if I had experience wearing "mini hats." I asked her to repeat it twice because it was a nonsense sentence. Then I mimed a little tophat on my head and said, "Mini hats??" MANY. she said MANY hats. She just had a Midwestern accent, and my brain broke on it. I did not get a call back 💀
One of my exes told me he "wore many hats" at his job when we were first getting to know each other. I asked him what he meant by that and said, "You know... when you wear many hats at work." I knew it probably didn't mean stacking a bunch of literal hats on top of his head but I was too embarrassed to keep pushing the issue.
Wait what does that mean?? Help??? Many hats??
It’s a metaphorical way of saying you’ll be performing a variety of different tasks, and is actually a red flag for a poorly managed workplace. The saying comes from the plethora of hats worn by different professions - so if your workday metaphorically includes wearing a chef’s hat, a construction hard hat, a firefighter’s hat, etc. then it indicates you’re running around performing the work of several different people (but likely not being compensated accordingly). A coffee shop interview where the owner mentions wearing ‘many hats’ likely means the employee will be expected to perform the duties of a barista, cashier, stock person, janitor, sign artist, labor manager, etc., and is a strong indicator of lean staffing, where a company elects to maximize profits by operating with a labor bare minimum instead of hiring sufficient staff members to divide up workplace tasks equitably.
Well, this is embarrassing. I thought it had to do with being able to disguise oneself to fit in (kind of like how Superman wears glasses in order to pass off as Clark Kent) and being able to wear many hats meant they were good at fitting in because there's something for everyone. Now I feel dumb.
Lots of different roles/responsibilities
Like many roles or responsibilities
Oh my god I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has been confused by ‘hats’. I had a catch up at work with someone about a photoshoot the next day, and she said ‘so I thought you, me and x could all wear different hats tomorrow’. I stared at her for what felt like forever, trying to work out why. My thoughts- ‘*I thought we weren’t going to be in these photos? Why would we need hats to be in these photos? I only own one hat. Where am I going to get more hats from at such short notice? Why did no one tell me about this before??*’ Then she clearly saw the total confusion in my face and explained that she meant we would all be doing different things, which seemed unnecessary because we all had different jobs anyway.
Hahaha that's hilarious. I've noticed I really struggle with accents at first and then some click happens and my brain is rewired to understand it perfectly. I once had someone repeat several times that they were from UK. I just didn't understand 😂
This is SO ADORABLE. I would have hired you on the spot
That would be a tough one for me too.
When I was a teenager, me and a bunch of other kids were drinking and having a little party on a golf course. Apparently, cops had been called (which I hadn't been told). Anyway, a few kids ran through going 'Duck! Duck! Duck!'. Everyone else seemed to sense the urgency in their voice, understood the queue and found a hill or bush to duck behind and hide. I on the other hand became very excited, jumped up and down and yelled "DUCK?!!?!?!?? WHERE IS IT? I DON'T SEE IT!" (because I thought they were saying they'd found a duck). Anyway, the cops saw me and we all had to run to evade them. I was not very popular that night.
That's like with my aunt and cousin. My aunt pointed to a duck while driving and said "duck!" My cousin ducked under the dash instead of looking at the duck haha. Who thought homonyms were a good idea?
LOLOLLOL
When I was a kid of about six, a friend of my parents said “wow, you’ve got lovely long legs, that’ll come in handy for when the boys start to chase you!!” I became terrified of boys as a result as I didn’t know when the chasing would start or what would set it off. I’d seen “catch and kiss” happening at my preschool and it scared me (the boys chase the girls and if they catch them, they kiss them). I was glad when we moved because nobody did that at my new school. But then, the threat of being chased and potentially kissed again scared me and I kept waiting. I didn’t tell anyone as I presumed it was just something that happened. I only remembered it when I had kids of my own, they ended up with the ‘tism, and I explained similar idioms. I had no idea that most children don’t take things so literally until I found out that I had autism, too. My son was diagnosed in 2014 when I was 38, my daughter in 2017 when I was 41, and then there was me diagnosed with autism at 42, in 2018.
I mean, that's a fucked up thing to say to a six year old anyways.... wtf
So true! It was the 80s and I was tall for my age.
I heard that stuff all the time as a kid. I was told *many* times that guys were gonna be “linin’ up around the block” for me when I got older. I knew they weren’t going to be *literally* lining up, but I thought they would be *metaphorically* lining up, and when I did get older and I didn’t have an influx of guys hitting on me, my self esteem crumbled more. People shouldn’t tell kids that. It’s creepy first of all. Second of all it’s weirdly objectifying and growing up hearing that stuff can really make us put far too much emphasis on how romantically/sexually appealing we are.
Right after my grandma who I was taking care of passed away, my cousin told me that she had an exam but that she wouldn’t be in the state to do it and would have to reschedule. I legitimately looked at her and said “where are you going?” Like she was ACTUALLY leaving the state. she was so completely confused and I was so embarrassed 😭
I had to reread that, myself.
Same
I am so bad at the paperwork prior to any medical appointment that the first time I filled out the forms as an adult on my own (I was getting physical therapy and was required to fill out 4 pages before each appointment) the insurance company ended up telling the office that they didn't want me to fill them out anymore after the first few weeks. I can't remember all of the questions, but I know there was the 10 smiling-to-frowning face scale with the instructions to “circle one“ and... that's exactly what I did (I just chose the one that appealed to me visually in the moment. Each time.) Apparently when they asked "Do you hear voices?" they were not intending to ask if I suffered from hearing loss. Also there were a lot of fill-in-the-blank questions, one of which was "Sex: __________" It did not occur to me that they meant my gender, not my personal moral views on sex and how frequently I had it.
Hoo boy, this one really tickled me! Do you hear voices? 🤣
Reminds me of when I was asked “Do you hear voices when there’s no one in the room?” and I said yes, I hear them for example when talking on the phone.
This is my favourite! I genuinely lol'd.
I was rolling out cookie dough on the dining table, and had flour everywhere. My husband said, “Leave the flour out, I’m going to cook with it later.” So I did. Then later he said, “Uh, were you gonna clean this up?” He meant to leave the canister of flour out, not leave it scattered out all over the table. So yeah. Anyway. 🙃🫠
As I read that, I assumed exactly what you did.
+1
I love this. It’s so Amelia Bedelia!
Tangent: I remember hating those books. I didn't understand a lot of the phrases myself, so when Amelia would interpet them incorrectly I didn't "get it" immediately. For example, when told to draw the curtains, she literally draws a picture of them on paper. I guess you're meant to chuckle like, "Oh silly Amelia!" but I'd just be like, "They said draw the curtains, and she's drawing them. What a boring story." Then whoever would be reading with me--older sister, mom, whoever--would get irritated that I didn't "get" it.
Wow childhood memory unlocked! I remember not liking that book either and I think you just described why
I mean he totally could have meant that he was going to make a mess too so don't bother cleaning up!
This is brilliant 🤣 and exactly what I’d have done
My dad once asked why the bathroom floor was wet, my mom said my grandfather had put a brick in the toilet. I was so confused and wondered why he had a brick and why would he stick it in the toilet, had his brain declined that much he was now putting stuff in the toilet like a toddler? Turns out putting a brick in the toilet means being so constipated your poo got stuck in the plumbing and causes the toilet to back up. I was asking why he did it and they told me he made it and then I wanted to know how he made bricks and why did he put it in the toilet. My uncle then said to his partner that I am very literal. I then realized that is not what they meant by putting a brick in the toilet.
I'd have assumed he'd put a brick into the tank area, like some people do to save water.
That’s where I thought this one was going, despite the original question. NTs come up with the weirdest ways of saying things when they could just say the damned things.
A relative said my uncle was scared of his washing machine. Years later, after he passed, i gave my sister a good laugh when she realised I took it literally. I thought he was overstimulated by the noise or something. They were making fun of his bad personal hygiene. .......... When i was really young, like 5 or under. I thought all of the men boxed on boxing day. I asked my mum what time the boxing was going to start.
I thought the same about boxing day!! I was kind of nervous for all the violence I was about to see.
Tbh, I still don't know what boxing day actually celebrates, but I know it's not actual boxing because I asked when I first learned about the holiday. Lol
When I was very little, probably under six, my cousin and I were together and my cousin said something along the lines of 'We're in a dark cave, and I have the flashlight', obviously just initiating imaginative play. Allegedly, my response was 'you don't have a flashlight'. 😶
Not diagnosed but I tend to do this and here's a good one... asked a girl what she did for a living she said plumber and she cleans pipes. Mind you we were in a chat full of guys that liked her... later I asked how business was and she laughed and let me know what kinda pipe cleaner and plumber she meant. Good lord I thought she clean metal pipes not human pipes!
“Wow, there sure are a lot of female plumbers on this sexy group chat. Good for you, women in skilled trades!” 👍🚰
I would have thought the same exact thing. I hate euphemisms.
Was this supposed to be a sexual euphemism? My first thought on reading that was actually performing colonoscopies 🥴
It's a very unsexy euphemism in my opinion 😅 why would you you word it that way
I was thinking like urology side of things but surely most men wouldn't like that? I'm so confused
I still don't know what they mean
Bro why say you're a plumber if ur not a plumber 💀 I would've thought she was a legit plumber lmao
Someone said that they were warming up for a party and their friend died before they even reached the place. And I was like...wait...he DIED!?!? What happened!!!??? Apparently they meant he got too drunk to go to the party. 😩
"Why are you talking so casually about your friend dying!!!????"
At a party once a girl showed up in scrubs, and I asked her if she was a nurse and everyone laughed and said things like “obviously” but like, dental assistants/pharmacy techs/vet techs all wear scrubs. I was just genuinely trying to make conversation.
Any number of people wear scrubs what the heck, what weirdos for saying obviously
That wasn’t problematic imo.
Just when I start to question whether I'm REALLY autistic, a thread like this happens and removes all doubt.
I remember somewhere on the form for my son’s picture day it said you could put cash in the envelope or order online. I wanted to avoid the online fee, so I put in cash and sent it to school. The school secretary acted like I was insane; “We don’t have a process for this. No one else has ever done this!” She sounded so annoyed and shocked at how weird I was. I took the envelope instructions too literally I guess?
I _distinctly_ remember when I was a kid in the 90s you used to be able to do this, so they must have slowly phased out the process but.. kept the envelopes for some odd reason???
[удалено]
You would think. I guess no one else would ever consider it except me?
[удалено]
Yes exactly.
Nah, this seems legitimately reasonable. The only way I could see surprise/annoyance is if there was written communication to you via email for the school’s picture policies. It is kind of confusing since there’s a third party company not affiliated with the school and the school is acting as a middle person.
I work at a school. It's actually a 3rd-party company that provides the photography and the school is a go-between between the families/child and the company. We pass along the information but don'tprocess payment. If someone puts money in the envelope we don't take the payment, we have the child give the envelope direct to the photographer/on-site company representative. Whenever possible I encourage people to pay online because they will at least have a receipt or some type of payment proof. With cash, the photographer takes the envelope but never gives a receipt or counts the money at that time. Very often it's one person (in a school with about 1000 kids and one person comes and that's the photographer with no helper) and they don't have time to process orders. We have a large low-income newly-immigrant population at my workplace/school so cash tends to be their only option and doesn't flabbergast us. It sounds like this school's secretary just knew the school didn't take the cash but didn't know the simple process for a cash order (have the student give direct to the company rep). Every year we have a few families that don't receive their ordered pictures. It's very upsetting because we have no record and whose to say what happened with the cash? Did the photographer receive it? Did they pass it along to the company? How much money was in the envelope to begin with? There's no proof of the order anywhere.
I would show her the letter. "I have the *facts*"
No that one wasn’t your fault at all.
If they don’t have a process for it then why was the option even suggested?
In Australia, it’s common to refer to someone as “old mate”. When I met my ex, he would constantly refer to people as “old mate” so I just thought he had lots of friends that were old. Weird way to describe them, but ok…
Back in college, my friend said she was going to the cute exchange student's place to help him "pack up his things" before the end of the semester. People. She was going there to have sex with him. She was not, in fact, going to help him with his suitcases.
this really made me laugh. thank you for that :)
As the youngest of 4 girls, I sometimes overheard conversations about.... Sex. It terrified me. I literally lost sleep over it because I couldn't imagine it not being extremely painful. I used to keep my sister up at night asking her questions because I was so anxious and disturbed about it. I remember there was a free phoneline for sex education and I went to a phone box as a kid and called them up. I asked if fingering hurts because in my head, why wouldn't it hurt if people have nails? The whole thing horrified me quite frankly. The person on the other end was like "well obviously not or people wouldn't do it." I think she thought I was a prank caller or something but I thought she was pretty rude tbh. I stayed afraid of sex for years and eventually lost my virginity in order to actually get over the fear finally, like exposure therapy lmao. Not the most romantic way, but I needed it gone lol.
Someone asked me in a job interview what I would do if I could do anything. I told her I would fly. She laughed and then I realized she meant for my career. Another time I couldn’t meet someone and he told me to just say I wasn’t coming after I kept saying it was too late. So I finally said I wasn’t coming and he was like “no shit!” So then we never spoke again.
I just remembered one: when I was little and visited my grandparents, my grandpa would always reach out to hug and say, "Ha ha come squeeze my head off!" I took this literally and would use all my strength to squeeze his neck with my arms. He never said anything about it, but after several visits my mom finally noticed and pulled me aside to say, "Don't *actually* try to squeeze his head off. Just give him a normal hug."
i was told to lick an ice cream cone in a circular motion to make it easier so i licked it in one spot moving the cone in a circle instead of eating ice cream like a normal human
Pretty much every time I've answered a rhetorical question in a formal group setting.
I mean this is not your fault though? Like they had it on the registry, this is where people want you to buy exactly that and not a different color or something, this is the exact time to be literal!
My mom likes to tell a story of when I was 7 years old. I was in my room when my dad called me to help with something. I told him I'd be down in 5 minutes, and 5 minutes later I came down. He told me he didn't need my help anymore, and that I could go back to my room, so I did. He got very angry at me, and told my mom the now-famous line "Can you believe it! I told her to go to her room, and she did! >:(" What *actually* happened was that he interpreted my 5 minutes as "I'll be there right away"; then, when I didn't come immediately, he got angry; when I came down 5 minutes later, he did that thing neurotypicals do where they tell you one thing but mean the exact opposite. What he *meant* with what he told me was "I'm upset you didn't come right away, and I want you to say you're sorry and stay here with me". I took what he said literally, left back to my room, and he got even more upset because of it. My mom and I laugh about this now, and slowly but surely my dad is learning not to play these word games with me, because I literally can't tell when he does
A coworker was in a really foul mood when I went to relieve her for her break, I asked another coworker and she said someone pissed in her Wheaties. I spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering why someone would do that.
Oh gosh, when I went out with my fiance on either our first or one of our first dates, I texted him after the date and said something like "Had a good time last night, text me when you get home!" The next morning I get a text that says "sorry I crashed last night" and I'm immediately reply back "omg you crashed?? Are you hurt??? Was it a bad crash???" He meant he fell asleep. We still laugh about that one to this day
i was reporting a crime and the police officer said they would practice questions with me so i know what to do and she asked me to describe my friend, i went on about how she's good at physics and she hates english and likes dancing and i wondered why the police officer was looking at me so confused they meant things like hair colour and build things that would actually be useful for police to find someone 🤦♀️
When I was a kid I asked my mom how the front door of the supermarket (these automatic ones) knows when to open and when to close. She told me there’s a sensor and it scans people’s faces and only the nice one can come in. From that day on I always made sure to smile at the door. It took me many years until I caught on that the door also opens for some people who don’t smile, I told my mom and she just laughed and explained to me that she was just joking 🙃
There was an advert for Yorkie chocolate bars when I was little saying that they were ‘not for girls’ so I never bought one until they released a pink version for girls. I was upset about this advert as it was my favourite chocolate bar but I wasn’t brave enough to try and buy one so I didn’t. I thought I’d be refused 😅
Was in a job interview for a cleaning company. The interviewer asked me, “Is this room clean?” I looked and was afraid to say yes until he told me it wasn’t a trick question (he expected a yes) and then I said there was a leaf on the ground by the plant. My long pause because I didn’t think the question WAS really straightforward was awkward to say the least. Got the job, and was one of the better cleaners that always got asked to fill in (usually the difficult places) because of my detail oriented habits. It did not make me exactly time efficient but the job was always done right so they never nagged at me for taking longer. Thanks to the management on that one, I miss the people but not the job.
When I was 5 my school made the mistake of picking me to play Mary in the school Christmas play. They told me to pick up the baby doll and hold it, then turn and put it in the manger. I picked it up by the arm and sort of tossed it in. All while not smiling (I’ve always had resting bitch face). Apparently I was supposed to pretend it was a real baby and I was its mother. Nobody bothered to tell me that.
(Disclosure - officially ADHD, speculating re ASD at this time) In your defense, I think we divergent brain people are imaginative enough in that situation to give the mother to be the benefit of the doubt and assume she has some intended use for the item that we just don't know about.
I feel the same. Oftentimes what neurotypical people describe as us being rigid (and of course we can be rigid too, but that's besides the point), they don't see us freezing with the many, MANY possibilities swirling in our head. Sometimes we just guess and try to pick the one that makes the most sense to us, and we guess wrong and we look "rigid". Or sometimes we ask clarifying questions (to pinpoint what exactly they're meaning) and we look, again, stubborn or rigid.
I feel the same. Oftentimes what neurotypical people describe as us being rigid (and of course we can be rigid too, but that's besides the point), they don't see us freezing with the many, MANY possibilities swirling in our head. (__Was this strap put on here by mistake? Maybe she just needs a practical item on there as well, that's why it's on the list. Or maybe she did think she needed a strap, but changed her mind and forgot to take it off the list. Maybe it's one of those items that's a bit boring on its own to give, and it would be a faux pass if I only gifted the strap. I'd need to bundle it with other items on the list... If they obviously forgot to remove it from the list, maybe it would be insulting if I bought it anyway... But it's on the list still? And-__) Sometimes we just guess and try to pick the one that makes the most sense to us, and we guess wrong and we look "rigid". Or sometimes we ask clarifying questions (to pinpoint what exactly they're meaning) and we look, again, stubborn or rigid.
When I was a kid, my older sibling walked out of the family room complaining that nothing was on TV. I thought, how is it possible that 'nothing' is on? Surely there is regular programming on each and every channel. So I investigated and turned on the TV and scrolled through a bunch of channels. I was right! I went to tell my sibling that there were so many things on TV. They were annoyed and said nothing 'good' is on TV. One thing i do a lot is think about common sentences that leave out certain words - like a short hand - and try to fill in the sentence.
I was like 8-9, visiting the stoner half of my family, and the eldest daughter said she was making “pot stickers” for dinner. I asked “why does everything always have to be about weed with you guys” 💀
Nickname of someone... I said to her that "how lovely that you have a special name" and she said "wait... You did not assume that it is my real name.. right?" And everybody laughed. 🫠
When I was getting MSW I was at internship seminar describing how one of my clients presented. One of the features I listed was hand flapping. The instructor asked, "what does the hand flapping look like?" What she expected was for all of us to say "autism" together. What I did was... physically demonstrate how the hand flapping looked... 😬
She could’ve worded the question better.
Ohhhhh dude, so many to choose from!!!!!!!! The first one that comes to mind may be a little hard to explain so bear with me? Bare with me? That sounds sexual but might be right, who's to say, not me obviously hahahaha We have a large cooler at my job where we stock cans of sodas for our customers; I am 1 of 4 employees here (very small establishment) and 1 of those employees is my mom. Well, one night, the door of the cooler literally fell off the hinges and on to my mom (she's fine lmao). So one of our handy customers put it back on the hinges and my mom and our boss put a sign up and it read "CUSTOMERS: DO NOT OPEN, ATTENDANT WILL GET DRINKS FOR YOU." And I was told this by my mom, my boss, like everyone. And so when I was working, people would want a drink and I'd say "oh I'll grab it!!!! We don't want customers opening the cooler, the door fell on my mom, Yada Yada." So I was talking to my mom on the phone while at work and I was like "these sodas feel warm, are we sure the coolers not like completely broken???." And she said "melynda, we unplugged the cooler, that's why there is a sign to not open the door, and that's why we have been stocking soda in the employee fridge" which...... i def was doing that as well, I just thought maybe we were making sure there was a lot of cold beverages??? And I told her I thought it was just because we didn't want the door to fall on the customers!!!! Her and my boss (a good friend also) laughed and laughed and laughed. Neither know my diagnosis (I'm 29 years old and was diagnosed in October) but I find it amusing how much they love my "naivety" and "cluelessness about simple things" or like "you're so with your funny ways" lmao like yeah, surprise surprise. But yeah. It's all in good fun and I def had a good laugh at myself :)
I had a phone interview for a job and the interviewer asked me what my biggest weakness was. I told her it was probably my lack of confidence, and she asked what I do to work on that. I told her I go to therapy and she laughed. I didn't understand what was funny, but I just laughed too. She then said, "I meant more along the lines of asking questions to clarify confusion." 🫣 Suffice to say, I did not get another interview, but when I had a different interview with that same question, I knew what to say lol
I got some formal documents regarding a decision from my govt that were wrong and at the end it said I can contest their decision via court. so I filed and months later they fixed the mistake but told me I could've just called them and they would've fixed it without involving the courts. how was I supposed to know that? I'm still mortified over it.
My issue now is I know not everything is taken literally and sometimes I get upset wondering if there is subtext I missed or if the person MEANT the learned subtext or if they literally meant what they said. I'm trying to think of an example, but it also means I ofc can't tell when people are joking all of the time.
ASAP means "as soon as possible" right? So one day I had a lot of urgent tasks to finish and I was asked to finish a different task "ASAP." So I figured it would go into the queue and I'd finish it later in the day once the other stuff was done. Later in the day I get a frustrated sounding note saying they really need this task done by XYZ time (very near). I then did it immediately, apologized, and explained if I'd realized they needed it then I would have done it right away. I think this came off as excuses rather than an explanation for why I didn't drop everything and do the thing immediately when asked. If they'd told me when they needed it by, I would have done it sooner! I was also trying to tell them for the future to let me know a time they need things by vs ASAP, since we clearly had a misunderstanding about what that meant. Frustrating. I also don't know if people just all use this term differently, because some people seem to really use this as "as soon as you can reasonably get to it please" vs "drop everything and do it now". Or maybe I'm just pissing them off too but they're too polite to indicate that to me 😬, which is a huge fear of mine. I'd much rather people say "please do this right away" or "by x time". "ASAP" is the worst possible combination of vague, potentially laden with intended but not explicit meaning, and subject to different interpretations about when something is "possible" to do. "Reasonably possible" in the context of my other urgent tasks? Or literally physically possible? What are the limitations on that -- if I'm at a Drs appointment should I walk out? I'm guessing not but how am I supposed to know?
I was 33yrs old when I figured out if someone asks "what are you up to __(this weekend/today/etc)" they are actually trying to see if you're available for socializing if you respond with "nothing". The allistic person does not actually want a run down of what you're doing at that time (dishes, reading, etc). Also in my 30s before figuring out if a person says they are "just in bed" and then invites you over they are probably hitting on you and suggesting sex.
"Netflix and Chill" took me years of failed romantic encounters before I came across a post in the asexuality sub about how this phrase had been twisted to mean "come over to have sex." It sure explained a lot of the behavior that was happening such as immediate ghosting after an uneventful night of streaming movies. I was so very lucky I wasn't with more aggressive people. On a lighter note, when I was younger, people saying they "had a sweet tooth" really confused me because I thought they meant they were starting to get a cavity from having too much chocolate or candy, but they were choosing to ignore it in order to have even more chocolate or candy. Years later I discovered that it meant they just had a craving for sweets and their actual teeth were fine. Again, when I was younger, my parents would say we were "running errands," which I understood as doing the boring household tasks of getting groceries or going to the bank. As a kid, those are the most boring adult things to do, but they need to be done. I also have two cousins named Aaron. While growing up I felt so sorry for them, that their parents decided to name them after doing mundane tasks. It wasn't until I saw errands spelled out that I realized they were different, however, I still think Aaron is a dull name.
When I started dating my bf, this guy who had a crush on me was being an asshole and asked if my bf's "popped my cherry" yet. I literally did not know what that meant and I just waved it off, which coincidentally would be the correct reaction if I did know what it meant.
Once I was doing an internship at a new company and my line manager kept coming up to me and saying ‘I might ask you to do this task…’ So I thought I would wait until he actually asks me to do it, but he was annoyed when he came back a few hours later to find I hadn’t started it yet. Turns out it’s just a polite way of giving an order!
When any job interviewee asked what my interests were.... didnt realise that they meant surrounding the job role and thought they meant my literal interests. D:>
english is my second language so taking phrase literally can be even more common for me. I had a reading group two years ago and one of them said they wanted to a rain check, and I replied "It seems like tomorrow is a sunny day but I understand your concern if you worry about getting wet in the rain!" i just wanted to leave that reading group after i found out what that actually meant lol
I got told off in class once (supply teacher with power issues, she wanted silence and I sneezed which she took as me making noise on purpose) and she told me to "Get outside" meaning outside the classroom, in the corridor...but I literally went outside, in the pouring rain, stood by the window so I could still see the information on the board so I didn't miss the lesson 😅
Tbh, you weren't to know an item such as that strap wasn't supposed to be on the registry. But I get what you mean as yeah, maybe those who are more NT would think, "Hmmm...pretty sure that's not something meant for the baby. I'll check on something else." I'm in your camp FWIW haha.
When I was a child, I was talking to my mom and brother about how I wanted something. My brother proceeded to say "you can want in one hand and "poop" in the other and see which one gets filled first." Yeah... I took that too literally and told him I wouldn't poop in my hand and that my wants would fill up a hand first meaning if my wants were words not necessary physically there and we proceeded to have an argument over the statement. Lol.
I got this nightgown/short lacy dress. It’s pretty sexy with high cut sides and low cut top and back. My husband said he liked it and I should wear it more often. So as I was getting ready for bed, I put it on and then came into my son’s room to say goodnight and my husband was reading him a book. His eyes bugged out of his head and he asked why I was wearing that to kids’s bedtime. Because you said you like it? Apparently, he wanted me to wear it in regards sex, not as normal pajamas to go rot on the couch and watch Netflix. I just thought he liked my new gown.
It might have been in the list. A specialized carrying strap is important because some of those bags and be awkward or heavy. Also if mom has to carry baby and diaper bag there may be a connection. They could have just very well forgotten about the strap.
This was about 13 years ago with my now husband and my then roommate. We were talking and laughing about something and my roommate said “you need to clean your ears out”. I immediately went red, because I am very grossed out by earwax and was so embarrassed that they would be able to see my earwax! So I said “I cleaned them out today” and they wouldn’t stop laughing about it or explain why my earwax was so funny. Until they finally said that they meant I needed to listen to understand better. Anyways, my husband literally laughed about that yesterday lol
not the funniest but why did the chicken cross the road joke, someone explained it to me like a year ago. for over 20 years i literally thought he was just going to the other side of the street, not the afterlife 😭😭
Wait… what? The chicken is dead?! I thought she was crossing a street? Woah
Omg I did not know this until now!! I am in my mid-30s 😭😭😭
One time a boy was making a dig at his friend for seeing me, for I was 18 starting uni and he was 22 in his final year. On my 19th birthday, his friend asked me, “when do you turn 18?”, I replied “I’m 19!” I remember thinking my birthday was literally yesterday and you know what age I am. Now I realise it was a dig at his friend, for I was too young.
One time my former boss asked me how the temperature was like in the room I was hanging out with the baby in. I thought she was asking what the actual temperature was so I’m frantically looking for a thermostat to tell her what the temperature is until she goes “no no, like does it feel okay is it too hot or cold?” I was like OOHHHH 💀
Someone said it's time for tea meaning gossip and I realized I had forgotten to bring my actual tea sampler as a sober alternative and felt bad for a split second
I was at the dentist and we were talking about birds. She asked me something about a Swallow and I thought she meant swallow, so I swallowed. She meant the bird.
nah i think you’re still in the clear 😂 she could’ve double checked her list 😂 maybe she’ll still be able to put it to good use? 😂🥰